//------------------------------// // The Mastermind Duo // Story: Spike Has Seen Too Much // by PonyThunder //------------------------------// Somehow feeling even more dejected, Spike trudged slowly back to the castle with no pie, as he had spent every bit he had on him buying the other two. Was there anypony he hadn't embarrassed yet today? First it was Twilight, then Rainbow Dash, then Fluttershy and now Applejack. The only ponies that remained were Rarity and Pinkie Pie. What am I doing? he stopped his train of thought. There was no reason to think that he would somehow embarrass these ponies, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he would. Now, Rarity he could see be embarrassed by something. but Pinkie Pie? What in Equestria would embarrass Pinkie Pie? She was an open book as far as anypony could tell. Spike stopped thinking about it, just in case the universe decided to use that information against him at some point in the future. He opened the castle door and closed it slowly, just glad to finally be back inside and away from anypony he might embarrass. "Spike, is that you?" echoed Twilight from elsewhere in the castle, unseen from view. She didn't sound angry, so that was a good sign. "Yeah, it's me." "I'm glad you came! Somepony was looking for you," she said, trotting into the main hallway. Who could be looking for me right now? he thought for a moment before Twilight continued. "Rarity was looking for you. She needs some help around the Carousel Boutique. Normally I'd have offered my services but I've got some other things I need done that I've been putting off." A thousand excuses ran through Spike's mind, all of them attempting to find a good reason why he shouldn't go help Rarity. On literally any other day, he would have jumped in elation at the thought of helping Rarity, but today was the only exception. "Uhh...I..." Spike eloquently replied, "I have some...things I need to do." Twilight eyed him suspiciously. "Spike, is this about what happened earlier this morning?" "No," he said sheepishly, "well...kind of..." "Alright Spike, spit it out. You're about as good at hiding something as Applejack." That's definitely true, Spike thought. After today's events, now more than ever he could believe that. "Okay," he started, "somehow, ever since this morning, I've been coming across everypony during their--" "OH, there you are my darling!" exclaimed an excited Rarity who let herself in the front door behind Spike. "I've been looking all over Ponyville for you! I have some very important work to do and I could really use somepony's help, or in this case, some dragon's help," she said with a smile and a flutter of her eyelashes. "I uhh," Spike stammered. I've gotta get out of here. Something terrible is going to happen if I stay near Rarity for much longer, I just know it. "I have to go...I have to go to..." "Where do you have to go my Spikey wikey?" "I have to go...TO THE BATHROOM!" Spike scampered past Rarity and out of the front door, slamming it shut behind him with a loud thump. Rarity and Twilight stared awkwardly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Twilight, but isn't your bathroom over there?" "Yes...it is..." Twilight replied and rubbed her chin in contemplation. Whew, I think I dodged a bullet there, Spike thought to himself as he wandered aimlessly throughout Ponyville. Nowhere was safe. Everywhere he set foot in might as well be a war zone from all of the emotional destruction that trailed behind him. Why was this happening to him? In the course of a few hours, he had uncovered four secrets from four of his closest friends. Of course, it was partly his own curiosity's fault, but something else seemed to be aiding the process. Something that caused everywhere he went to become a chaotic mess. Something like Discord. Spike stopped walking in the middle of the road and began talking to nopony in particular. "Alright, Discord!" he exclaimed. "The jigs up, what's the deal?" Spike was surprised at his own courage, talking to Discord, the element of Chaos, in such a tough tone. Not even an entire second went by and the draconequus appeared in a flash of magic in front of him. "You called me, master?" he said with a sarcastic voice, carrying a plate and a napkin as if he were some kind of butler. "What's the deal? Why am I coming across everypony during their most embarrassing moments?" "Whatever do you mean? It's not my fault you have an insatiable curiosity." It was true, Spike realized. Most of what happened today could have been easily avoided if he had just ignored his insatiable need to know things. But it wasn't as if he was trying to embarrass anypony. In fact, every incident occurred by pure chance, and he never intentionally set out to embarrass anypony. It just happened to play out that way. Discord had a perfect way of getting everypony to think themselves are the root of their problems, it seems. "You helped," Spike replied, unsure of how to respond appropriately. Discord poofed the butler attire out of existence and became his normal self. "Oh, alright. You've got me. I helped, in your words. What's your point?" "You made me embarrass everypony!" "Hmm, yes. It appears that I did," Discord replied slowly and grinned. "Why? Why make me out to be the bad guy?" "Well, don't ask me," Discord replied, putting up his hands as if he were being accused of murder, "I couldn't have done my job of altering your path without Pinkie Pie." "Pinkie Pie? What does PINKIE PIE have to do with all of this?" Spike yelled. "Contrary to popular belief," Discord replied calmly, "I don't know everything about everypony. How could I orchestrate such an intricate series events without all of that knowledge?" The fact that Pinkie Pie apparently knew everything about everypony shocked Spike at first, but it only took a few moments to realize that such a claim was actually very much believable, if not a complete truth. She had been planning parties for practically her entire life, and she had filing cabinets of every last detail of everypony she had ever met. Spike could definitely believe it, but not why she would give out that information to anypony, especially Discord. "But...why would Pinkie Pie give you that information?" "I'm sorry, but that's confidential." "What kind of friend keeps secrets?" Spike replied, and Discord's face contorted into a huge grin. "Oh, the irony, it's unbearable! All of you keep secrets from each other. Your day should be a prime example of that." Spike fumed. Literally fumed, as he was in fact a dragon. "But--" "--Face it, Spike. I'm right and you're wrong. I'm doing everypony a favor by exposing their deepest secrets. That way, we can all be even closer," he replied as he put an arm around Spike, drawing him in close to his body. Spike pushed back. "That's no way to treat a friend!" Although, Discord did make some sense. It wasn't any of the secrets he had uncovered today were anything to really be ashamed about. In fact, they all seemed pretty petty once he thought more about it. Rainbow Dash would probably really enjoy watching a hoofball game with Fluttershy, and Fluttershy would be really happy to have a tea party with Rainbow Dash and their pet companions. Maybe Discord was right. But that still didn't explain Pinkie Pie's role in all of this. "Alright, maybe you're right," Spike admitted. "But I still don't think it was a very good way to go about it..." "Point duly taken," Discord replied politely. "Alright, everypony," said Discord, "I've gathered you all here--" "Yes, thank you for your impromptu meeting you decided to have in my study and teleport everypony away from whatever they were doing," said Twilight snarkily. "Ahem," Discord continued, "I've gathered you all here because I think you've all learned a valuable friendship lesson today." Silence. "And what lesson was that?" Rarity asked. "I haven't even spoken much to anypony today." "Ah, yes that's right. I didn't manage to get to you today," Discord said to Rarity, who gave him a very perplexing look, "but I'd say four out of five is pretty good." "Four out of five what," Applejack said with a hint of anger. "Ponies," Discord replied flatly, "and speaking of which, where is my sixth?" "Over heeerrrrreeee," exclaimed a Pinkie Pie unseen from view. She came prancing into the study with cake batter splattered around her face. "I've gathered you here," Discord continued, "because most of you have something you've been hiding from everypony else." Nopony said anything, and everypony but Pinkie Pie and Rarity eyed the ground sheepishly. "If none of you volunteer, I'll tell you all myself," Discord said. "Rainbow Dash likes tea parties, Twilight is writing a saucy romance novel, Fluttershy is an avid hoofball fan, and Applejack looovveesss--" "Apples!" Applejack shouted. "Sure do! I love 'em to death, that's why my names' Applejack!" Everypony stared at her in awkward silence. "...er...maybe...I like..." "Cherries?" Spike finished her sentence for her. "Yeah," Applejack said dejectedly, "alright, go ahead everypony. I know I'm a fraud, and now you do too." "Applejack," said Twilight, "nopony here thinks you're a fraud just for liking...cherries..." she said awkwardly, wondering why Applejack would ever think such a ridiculous thing. "At least I don't write saucy romance novels," said Rainbow Dash with a grin. "I seem to recall that you like to have tea parties?" asked Applejack with a massive grin. Realizing her mistake, Rainbow Dash flushed with embarrassment. "Yeah, well...uhh...hey Fluttershy, you like hoofball? Why didn't you tell me all of those times I went to the games?" "I...uh...well...sometimes I like...being...energetic for a change..." Rarity stepped forward. "Well, seeing as everypony else is admitting their most embarrassing moments, I see no reason as to why I should just sit back and listen. Ahem, sometimes I like getting filthy, just so I can get extra clean again." Everypony laughed, including Rarity, although rather awkwardly. "Well, it looks like our work here is done, Pinkie Pie," said Discord. "Wait," said Twilight. "Pinkie Pie was in on this?" "I could have never done this without Pinkie Pie," said Discord. "Or Spike, for that matter. His unquenchable thirst for knowing everything was the perfect way to go about all of this." "Why would Pinkie Pie tell you all of these things about everypony?" asked Spike again. He left the room for a moment and nopony seemed to notice. "We made a deal, so to say, a while back," Discord replied. "I get to itch my chaotic urges, and in return..." Pinkie Pie continued, licking up some of the remaining cake batter from her lips, "...I get to be embarrassed!" They all looked at her with confused looks. "Why would you want that?" said Rainbow Dash. "I dunno, it sounds like fun!" "Let me rephrase that," continued Dash, "how would you get embarrassed?" "Hmm..." Pinkie Pie wondered, "I don't know that either." "Well don't look at me," said Discord, "I'm only the element of chaos. Some things are just impossible." "...so, you can't make me feel embarrassed?" Pinkie Pie said, quivering her lower lip. "Sorry, but I'm not a god." In a burst of light, Celestia appeared in Twilight's already crowded study. "Greetings, everypony" "Celestia? What brings you here?" asked Twilight in surprise. She smiled, "A little dragon gave me a message in the mail, asking for some top secret info on a certain draconequus." Discord looked genuinely surprised. "Pfft, what top secret info. I'm an open book. I've got nothing to hide." Celestia pulled out a photo from her mane. A recent photo of Discord playing with six colored pony dolls from within the comfort of his pandimensional home. One purple alicorn, a blue and yellow pegasus, a white unicorn, and two earth ponies in pink and orange. "Where--how--GIVE ME THAT," shouted Discord in mild annoyance amidst the raucous laughter of everypony else in the room as Celestia and Discord played a game of cat and mouse throughout Twilight's study.