//------------------------------// // CMC // Story: Siri, the ponies, and I get into an Iphone fight // by Broneyofnoel //------------------------------// “Siri! Get your raggedy ass up! Wake up shittard” I yelled as I covered AppleBloom’s ears. What? I uncovered AppleBloom’s ears, and she spoke up. “Hello mister.” AppleBloom said. Hello AppleBloom “Now AppleBloom, ask it anything.” I said, letting AppleBloom approach the ihome. Like my blue chrome? “Show me a....banana.” So you’re an mmmmmmm bitch that likes mmmmmmmm bananas? Princess Trollestia poked her head from behind the door for a brief second. “Both of you, knock it off!” I yelled, stopping AppleBloom from going totally Apeshit, and preventing Trollestia from sending us all to the moon. Trollestia went back behind the door, then turned into Mollestia. Banana images being shown “Now ah want you to eat it!” she said excitedly. “AppleBloom, it is a...” I was cut off by Siri I am a fucking iPhone “He doesn’t eat food.” I said very bluntly. “So how’s he alive?” she asked, I fucking facepalmed. “He’s not alive!” I yelled, What didn’t this filly understand?!?! “He’s.....he’s...dead!” AppleBloom ran out of the room screaming. What was that, I don’t even.... “Honestly Siri, I wouldn’t even worry about it, she probably just ran into traffic.” I said, I heard a vehicle swerve, a horn honk, and a crashing noise outside. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweetie Belle trotted in behind me, she looked around the room, nothing but a table with an iHome on it. “Siri, please awake.” I said, Siri didn’t say a word. "Siri, i will castrate your digital balls if you don't get the," I covered Sweetie Belle's ears as I continued, "fuck," I uncovered them, "out of your slumber." Yes master “This is Sweetie Belle.” I gestured to her. “Hi!” Sweetie Belle’s voice shrieked. The dictionary? “Wha?” Sweetie Belle asked, I nodded behind her. Well hello Sweetie Belle, what would you like to know “Why do you call me a dictionary?” My master told me to Sweetie Belle looked at me in a sinister way, I felt a little scared for a moment, but then she turned back around. “As cliche as it may sound, Dictionary.com.” Sweetie Belle said. “You’re kidding me, right?” I asked, she put a hoof in the air, which assume that means she’s flipping me off. Finding Dictionary.com “Now find the word Dutch Oven, I heard Applejack say it the other day.” Sweetie Belle said. My face went red. Dutch Oven---the act of farting in someone’s sleeping bag and entrapping them inside Sweetie Belle ran out of the room. “Why’d you tell her?” I yelled at Siri. She asked for one, and for two, just to piss you off ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Siri, this is Scootaloo!” Hello Scootaloo “Hi!” Scootaloo walked over to the iHome. “Ask it anything.” WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS SAY THAT? “Okay, describe me!” You’re a dodo “Why does everypony say that, what is a dodo anyway?” Scootaloo asked. Dildo---definition “Siri, you finish that sentence, I will arrest you and you will be ass-fucked in prison for ten years and if the case is dropped because my arrest is too violent, I will personally hire men to ass-fuck you for the next ten years.” I said, I glared at the phone. Nevermind “Awww...” Scootaloo said. “C’mon, you’re going home Scootaloo, who are your parents anyway?” I asked Scootaloo as we left the room. That guy is such a dick