//------------------------------//
// The Goodest, the Cleanest 
// Story: Appledashery 
// by Just Essay 
//------------------------------//

	The door to the coach swished open.  Rainbow Dash and Caramel stepped in.

"Heeeeeeeeey... Rainbow Dash!"  Lyra smirked slyly.  "How's sobriety?"

"I dunno."  Rainbow sat down beside Vinyl.  "How's my hoof up your butt?"

"And she's back, fillies and gentlecolts," Vinyl droned.

"I had a glass of apple juice!"  Caramel sat down and smiled at Bon Bon.  "It tasted like apples!"

"Great.  Anyways."  Bon Bon grinned.  "I just figured out the best thing we can take Rainbow Dash to."

"A crematorium?" Lyra yawned.

"What is it, Bon Bon?" Caramel asked.

"Bob's Bit Bomb Emporium!"  Bon Bon giggled.  "It's the largest permanent fireworks shop in all of Equestria!"

"I'm surprised it's lasted this long," Vinyl said.

"I know, right!"  Bon Bon looked at Rainbow Dash.  "You like fireworks, don't you?"

"Isn't it... a bit dry for fireworks in Las Pegasus?" Rainbow Dash remarked.  "I mean, I always sorta thought that... the only sparks that flew in that town were in cheap motel bedrooms."

"That can be arranged," Lyra said.

"Ugh..."  Bon Bon rolled her eyes.  "No it can't, Lyra."

"Sure it can!"  Lyra sat up straight.  "Just find the right bar.  Sit in the right stool.  And brush shoulders with the right mare!"

"Thanks, but honestly..."  Rainbow Dash stretched, yawning.  The landscape blurred darker and darker beyond the window as the day waned into evening.  "...if I'm going to a bar, it's to get liquid.  Not laid."

Lyra shrugged.  "Your funeral.  But I'm telling you, Rainbow.  Ponies from all over the kingdom come to Las Pegasus so that they can have a night with a stranger that they'll always remember... just so that they can try super hard later on to forget it when they're out shopping with their spouse and foals."

"Egads, Lyra."  Bon Bon shuddered.  "Get your mind out of the gutter."

Lyra's eyes twinkled.  "But it's so shiny there!"

"Can't we just have some nice clean fun together as friends?" Bon Bon remarked.

"When have we ever had some 'nice clean fun' together as friends?" Vinyl asked.

"Thank you, Miss Scratch!" Lyra said with a salute.

"Uhm..."  Caramel broke a smile.  "We could always try out the Equestrian Filly doll exhibit just outside of town.  I hear their collection spans two stories!"

A beat.

"Yeah, you're right, Lyra."  Bon Bon hung her head, blinking.  "Strip clubs it is, then."

"Yeahhhhh boiiiiiiii!"  Lyra side-hugged Bon Bon hard.

"Eeek!"  Bon Bon giggled, playfully shoving the unicorn back.  "Lyra!  C-cut it out!"

"Say Dirty Uncle!"

"N-no!"

"Say it!"

"Heehee!"

Caramel and Vinyl chuckled.

Rainbow Dash smirked.  She leaned back, folded her forelimbs, and—for the first time in hours—enjoyed a slow, calm breath.