//------------------------------// // Pacing and a Princess // Story: Tales From Twilight's Teenage Testee // by PinkieYukari //------------------------------// It’s what, 3 or 4 in the morning now? Yet I still can’t get any sleep. It doesn’t seem like for any clearly discernible reason. Twilight had offered me her guest bed, but I said I would be fine on the couch – Hell, I slept on the couch back at my home during the school year – and she tossed me down a blanket and pillow to use. This was around 2 AM, when Twilight decided to finally end her study session. I didn’t even try to sleep; I was too awake. So I did what I usually do – as a ‘go-to’ of sorts – when I can’t sleep: Find the closest place that I can look up directly at the moon. And wouldn’t you know it, Twilight had a balcony that she used as an observatory. So here I am, headphones on, listening to dBu’s album Eternal Nocturne on my phone and staring at the sky. I stare at the Moon for a while, matching the music up to scenarios in my imagination. The Mooned Insects makes me think of walking through Whitetail Woods at night, Voyage 1969 had me thinking of riding Luna up to her moon to fix some incident, and so on. My mind is slightly on edge and slightly at ease. At least I wasn’t kidnapped! Yeah, but I was sent across the universe as a test subject to one very studious unicorn! Well, yeah, but I’ve always wanted to go to Equestria, correct? I guess, but it’s not exactly under the pretenses I would have liked it to be. Well, I’ll be able to see Celestia tomorrow, so we can ask her questions after we’re done with the original meeting. I guess I’m satisfied with this for now, because I notice when I release a held breath even I didn’t know I was holding. “Man, I really need to search this cacophony of books for one on stress relief later,” I noted quietly, not wanting to disturb Twilight. I reach the bedroom door to open it and walk downstairs, only to find that the door had been opened again, and my weight is now around 65% forward. The only thought to enter my head was, Well, since we all know what direction gravity is prone to dragging things, shall we close our eyes and hope for the best? That sounds like a good option, yes. “OW!” *crash* “Fuck!” *thump* “Dammit,” *thunk* “Ouch!” *snap* In other words, I end up tumbling head-over-feet down the curved stairsteps, barely missing a small, green-purple dragon as I hit the bottom. To describe the pain in one phrase, it would have to be, ”Imagine getting hit with several books on their corners while the air is forced from your lungs and then a flambé is cooked on everywhere you got hit.” I get up, groaning quite loudly and clutching myself, checking for any broken bones or sprains and such. Thankfully, my reputation of never breaking anything is still intact. Then I feel something sharp poke my leg. I yelp and jump backwards, only succeeding in hitting my head on one of the candle holders. I instinctively clutch my head and suppress the need to scream my head off, waking half of Ponyville in the act. Then I open my watering eyes – I never had a high pain threshold – and I see Twilight’s young dragon assistant, Spike standing next to me with a mix of a worried and curious expression. “Yo, dude, are you alright? That was quite a tumble you took there.” I nod my head as an affirmative and he seems satisfied. “That’s good,” he states in his weird, going-through-puberty-esque voice, before holding his hand… claw… out to me for another shake. Of course, to not be rude, I accept it and say, “Thanks Spike. My head hurts, but I’m fine, save for about half a million brain-cells-gone-missing.” I yawn and I say, “I was just stargazing, and I figured it was time to hit the sack, but it turns out all gravity wanted me to hit was the stairs. Multiple times.” He stares at me for a second before saying the phrase that had made me flinch when he said it – for the second time. “I never told you my name.” Ugh, I am NOT going through this again! “Well, Twilight told me about you after I got here. Seems to be pretty proud of you, that one.” He grins widely, then it recedes into a façade of cool as he pointed his thumb at himself and stated matter-of-factly, “Well, I AM her number-one assistant, of course!” I chuckle and confirm that, from what Twilight said, that he sounded pretty awesome too. Then I stood back up fully, having realized that I was still crouching in my head-pain flinching stance. Spike seemed to be much shorter now. I send him off to bed and climb into my makeshift sleeping accommodations. I take off my shirt, deciding just to sleep in my shorts. Why? Because it’s summer, even the nights are hot, and there’s no use in getting my only available shirt sweaty in the middle of the night. I slip off into a small, at least moderately restful sleep… ---------- You might remember when I said that I was lax about pretty much anything and don’t always take in the full gravity of the situation (well, except for last night’s incident, but all puns aside) when a serious matter comes up. Well, I’ve got to catch up with reality sometime, and usually the only place that happens is in my subconscious. And when is the subconscious most active, students? That’s right! During REM sleep, when you start dreaming! And though I usually won’t retain all the details of the dream, I’ll usually catch the gist of its message to me. But this dream… This morning… I’m not sure how to describe it. It was happy… yet kinda frightening at the same time… If more time were allotted, I would think about this. But right now, I’ve gotta get ready. Twilight just woke me up –quite rudely, I might add (she shook me, and then telekinetically slapped me) – and now I’m to get ready so I can meet the princess. I manage to find the bathroom without much effort – of course it’s gonna be in the master bedroom – and stare at it. It wasn’t awe-inducing, I was just trying to get used to the still-foreign surroundings. I stare at the sink, deciding to brush my teeth and hair first. In the toothbrush cup I notice a purple brush – most likely Twilight’s – a green brush – for Spike – and a white, clean one, which I assume was put out for me or guests in general. I shrug and continue my activity, brush already scraping against my teeth with the silica paste foaming as I brush. I take a good look at myself in the mirror, and proceed to almost choke on the brush I’m using. “Sweet Mother of Celestia, I look awful! I must have slept more fitfully than I originally thought.” It showed pretty well, too. My shoulder-length hair was sticking out everywhere, tangled and matted. “Jeez, must have been some dream.” I spit out my toothpaste into the sink bowl before flushing it down with water and reaching for the comb on the other side, which was light-violet in colour… “Shit. This is Twilight’s brush. I doubt she’d like it if I used it without her permission… but there’s no other brushes or combs or hair utensils in sight,” which I confirmed by looking through the lower cabinets under the sink, “so I guess she’ll understand.” I begin the labourious – and might I add painful – process of combing out every last tangle and brushing the hair back into its signature symmetrical pattern – half fallen to the left and half to the right – and before too long, I’m done and Spike calls for us, promising breakfast. Needless to say, I was there in a speed that would make Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash proud. After breakfast, we find the Royal Chariot outside Twilight’s tree waiting for us. We climb aboard, and – after a few strange looks from the Royal Chariot Pullers in my direction – we set off to the mountain city Canterlot. The ride doesn’t take too long; within the realms of an hour or so we arrive at the Canterlot Palace. I stare at it in awe. There was quite literally NO building on Earth that could rival this for sheer value and awesomeness. When we’re inside the castle’s throne room, Twilight points out my slack jaw and inquires if, as the old adage goes, the “cat got my tongue”. I can only stammer out useless gibberish. They always say a picture is worth a thousand words, but they never say how many duplicates and meaningless ones there are. The walls were lined with gold bracers around the side; the columns had traces of lapis lazuli; everything was just so expensive-looking. If a klepto took a blowtorch and cut a small square – just a small one - from one column they could earn a small fortune! I snap out of my stupor when I hear Twilight’s voice, calling, “Zack? Zack! Stop drooling and get over here!” I jog over to where Twilight is standing, only to spot something a little unnerving. Now, I’m about a half-head taller than Twilight (not counting the horn), and, only being a little taller, I wasn’t very intimidating, nor were any ponies I was bound to meet. But… hot damn it all to the gas ball the princess in front of me controls, Celestia is quite intimidating, standing a full head taller than both of us (NOT COUNTING THE HORN) with a gait that screams “I may be benevolent, but don’t fuck with me.” I instantly shy away before I feel Twilight’s hoof smack against my ankle. She looks up at me, annoyed. I wonder why, but then I notice that she’s bowing. Towards the princess in front of us. “Oh… right. Where are my manners? “ I politely bow to the controller of the Sun. She nods politely back and welcomes us – or rather mostly me – to Canterlot, the Royal Castle and Equestria. After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, she leads us down to her study, which seemed a lot more homey and a lot less… costly. It seemed to be made out of some sort of wood, probably mahogany by the looks of it, with a fireplace roaring in the corner (despite it being summer and the middle of the day), casting a dim light flickering across the room. She turns around in the swivel chair she was sitting in and got right down to business. “So, Twilight here has informed me that you both have found out something big. Mind sharing with me what it is?” Twilight seems to shy away and became extremely interested in the green tea that now sat before us courtesy of the staff ponies, so I gulp and start. “W-well, Your Majesty, I-“ “Oh, please, human, no need for formalities, you’re sort of like an ambassador; just Celestia is fine.” I smile slightly, glad that she picked up on our skittishness due to the intimidation she’d been giving off earlier and that she decided to be less formal. “Well, Celestia, Twilight here brought me from across the universe yesterday as a test subject to study my kind after you informed her of our existence.” I begin to tell the tale, from waking up in the dark basement all the way up to the theory we had thought up. “And then she wrote you the letter informing you of our visit. The theory we thought up was more than likely the big thing she was informing you of as well.” “And what, pray tell, is that?” Celestia asks, genuinely interested. “Well, Celestia, let me ask you this first: When was the last time you saw your mother?”