“It is almost complete. I just need to find the last missing element…” said a voice from behind a curtain. The stranger was obviously a unicorn, as he then looked out from behind the curtain.
“Oh, hello, there. I’m Matthew Patrick, but everybody—oh, I’m sorry—everypony calls me Mat Pat. Now, I know what you are wondering: how on earth did I become a pony? Well, it’s a funny story. You caught me in an attempt to get home, but I seem to be missing a crucial element which would make that possible. I just can’t seem to find it. The element is very elusive and very rare; I couldn’t even find it under normal circumstances. This elusive element is none other than Diet Coke, but I have been here for four months and they don’t have any. Now, I know what you’re thinking, that I would have a hidden stash somewhere, but I drank some of it, and then, while I was out shopping for equipment for the machine, a pink party pony came in and drank the rest. And yes, it was foolish of me to make this machine run on Diet Coke.
“How did I get here? Well, it’s a very weird story, but first I have to try to get this machine up and running. In theory, it should work, but it could also fail, and I also have to stay hidden. Now, I can hear your minds pondering, ‘Why must you hide, Mat Pat? There seems to be nothing wrong with this.’ Well, to that I say, YOU’RE NOT THE ONE WHO CAUGHT THE AFFECTION OF TWO MARES. These mares are crazy! They just laid their eyes on me and decided they wanted me. The very hyper pink one decided she wants me because of ‘reasons,’ and then there’s a lavender alicorn who likes me because, as she phrased it, I’m ‘smart and cute.’
“But other than those mares falling for me, it’s been peaceful here. They say the town’s called Ponyville—”
Just then, the machine beeped, and Mat Pat went to it. The monitor read, “Diet Coke element missing for machine to work perfectly. Please acquire Diet Coke.”
GAH!” exclaimed Mat Pat. “I can’t get the Coke, you dumb machine! It’s extremely rare here! Now, yes, I will explain how I got here, but, for now, the author needs me to show you an attempt to get home—curse you, author!” Mat Pat shouted at the air, but there was no response, as if the author were ignoring him. “Dumb author…” grumbled Mat Pat. As he sighed, he continued with his work, unsure of how to get home.