“Next stop, Ponyville. If this is your stop, please start gathering your things. Next stop, Ponyville…”
The train conductor moves into the next car, repeating his announcement. I look down at the sandwich I’m holding. I stick out my tongue, wrap it up in its wrapper, and leave it on the seat. Wasn’t even worth the two bits.
I look out the window at the night sky and sigh. I’ve been on the road for almost two weeks, and, if there’s any justice in this world, this is my last stop.
I found the juice company office easily enough. The receptionist told me that the model was, indeed, Fluttershy (I almost jumped for joy), but their office hadn’t actually hired her; if I wanted to get in touch with her, I’d have better luck at the company headquarters in Manehattan. After making arrangements for someone to take care of Mom, I flew to the nearest train depot and bought a ticket.
Unfortunately, the main office couldn’t tell me anything either, but said the PR office in Fillydelphia might have something. They, of course, wouldn’t talk to me, but the secretary hinted that they might have hired her through a talent agency in Baltimare. When I got there, they told me that Fluttershy hadn’t worked for company for months, and they legally couldn’t tell me anything. “Sorry, kiddo,” said the secretary, patting me on the shoulder.
I brushed away his arm and choked back the tears. All that work—all those nights sleeping on the hard wooden benches, all those cheap premade sandwiches—for nothing?
In desperation, I boarded a train to Canterlot. Somepony there had to know something, right? I managed to find Skittle’s apartment above the bakery where (I think) she works, and asked if I could crash there for the next few days. She asked me what I was doing in town, and I told her I was looking for that Merriweather model, but I had no idea where she lived. Skittle blinked in surprise. She said, “I’m pretty sure she lives in Ponyville—I see her almost every time I go! Didn’t I tell you that?”
I wanted to kiss her on the mouth and punch her lights out all at the same time.
So, here I am, on my last train, on my way to see my long-lost sister. I sigh and try to figure out what I’m feeling, but I realize I have no idea. I’m excited, yes—but scared, too. What if she doesn’t recognize me? Worse, what if she does recognize me, but doesn’t want anything to do with me?
What should I say? What can I say? It’s been almost eight years…what can I do that could even come close to making it better?
The train whistle blows and I glance out the window. I yelp as an evil black face with acid-green eyes flashes past. I lean forward, and see we’re pulling into the train station, which is covered in lit jack-o-lanterns and wooden Nightmare Moons painted black. I check my ticket—tonight is indeed Nightmare Night.
For some reason, I feel a sudden sense of dread.
I step off the train and walk straight to the ticket office. The station attendant looks up as I approach; he’s dressed as a robot or something, I think. “How can I help you, miss?” he asks.
“Hi, um…” I begin nervously. “Do you know where, um…F-Fluttershy lives?” A little shiver runs through me as I say her name. It’s the first time I’ve said it in years—even when I was at the offices, I just showed them the picture.
The robot-pony hasn’t noticed. He’s already deep in thought. “Fluttershy, hm…well, I think she lives on the edge of the Everfree Forest, just outside of town.” He grabs a train schedule, flips it over, and starts drawing on the back, tongue between his teeth. “Le’see, you go this way… an’ Main Street’s over here… and then…”
He slides a crude map across the counter to me. “Thanks very much for your help,” I say, picking up the map.
“No problem, missy!” he says jovially, “Good luck!”
Thanks, I think to myself as I walk away, I’m gonna need it.
I go stand under a lamp post and examine the map. After a moment, I put it in my bag and head into town. I take the side streets to avoid town square; there’s a Nightmare Night dance in full swing, and I’m not in the mood for a party.
A few minutes later, I’m on the path to the forest. I’m all alone. It’s quiet.
As I walk, my mind starts to wander. I start thinking about Fluttershy, rehearsing what I’m going to say.
Hi, Fluttershy, do you remember me? I’m your big sister, the one that abandoned you to the forest—
I shake my head. I try again.
Hey, Fluttershy, long time no see! It’s been, what, eight years now?
I bite my lip. Stupid.
Maybe I won’t rehearse anything. I’ll just let it come.
Hi Fluttershy.
Hi April. How’s the family?
Well, Mom is broken because you got lost, Dad got killed because he was so tired from spending all his time looking for you, and Skittle hated me for close to a decade because she thought it was my fault you were gone. Other than that, we’re fine. How are you?
I stop walking. What am I thinking? That she’s just going to accept me back into her life with open arms? Idiot.
I hang my head. I stand there, on the edge of the forest, for a long time, mulling over what to do.
After a while, I hear a noise. I look up to see a gaggle of ponies coming up over a rise.
I groan. The last thing I want to do is to talk to somepony tonight.
I jump off the path and hide in some bushes. Thankfully, the other ponies haven't seen me, and walk right on by. As they trot past, I peek through the leaves at them.
The pony in front is dressed as—a chicken? What? Behind her come about a half-dozen fillies and colts, dressed like monsters and things. One of them, a little princess, trots by as I watch. Her coat is yellow, and her long mane flows in the wind as she runs past…
Just like little Fluttershy...
At that, I take a deep breath. I had screwed things up, I know that. But it’s only fair to Fluttershy that I make it up to her. It is my job, after all. I stand up from behind the bushes, determined to march up to Fluttershy's front door, and...
...I duck again. The ponies are running back this way, screaming bloody murder. After they pass, I stand up again, only to duck as a tall, regal pony and a unicorn in costume come around the bend. Why on earth is there so much traffic out here tonight?
After the coast is clear, I get up and keep walking. Just around the next bend sits a cozy little cottage, with a roof of thick green grass, birdhouses and animal burrows everywhere you look.
I sigh. So, this is where my sister Fluttershy lives.
Suddenly, I feel ashamed. What am I doing? What can I do, or say, that will make the hurt better? Make her want to love me again?
I stand there for a long time, staring at the house. Finally, I reach into my bag and slowly pull out a sheet of paper and a pencil. I sit down on a rock and start writing.
Dear Fluttershy,
I don't know if you remember me, but my name is April Showers. I'm your big sister.
I would like to meet with you, and get to know you again. I live at our old house, 42 Altostratus Way, in Cloudsdale. Please write ahead and let us know if you're coming.
Love,
April
After I finish, I bite my lip and read it again.
It’s terrible.
It’s worthless.
But it’s all I can do.
I fold the sheet into thirds and push it under her door. I hear a frightened squeak and a clatter of dishes. That’s so like the Fluttershy I remember that I almost smile.
Almost.
I turn and start walking back towards the station. I look up at the moon, my eyes burning with tears of shame.
Coward.