//------------------------------//
// Epilogus [April Fools] 
// Story: Apathy 
// by Pathos14489 
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Bands of purple light spiraled up along the beam emitting from her still beating heart. After following Twilight's notes, I managed to attach her heart into the device with only a couple difficulties. "Twilight?" I turned away, looking away from Cadence. I... Needed time to think about what has happened today. How does one cope with watching themselves die? How do you even begin to build your thoughts around that? Maybe there's a book at the library that deals with this in a more psychological way. Less actually watching a pony die for the greater good and more killing off a bad part of your mental illnesses for the greater good.

Flash!

For some reason, despite my plans to go home, I found myself teleporting to the Starswirl the Bearded section in the Canterlot Royal library. The Temporal Literature and Theory shelf to be specific. "Twilight? What happened?"

I turned, looking back to Princess Celestia. "What?"

"At the split? Have you and the other Twilight fixed it?" She doesn't know of course. 

I quickly turned to her, looking into her wide, hopeful eyes. My mouth moved before words could find it, leaving me looking like a gaping fool. But I can't stop it, in some small way, feeling my jaw moving like I'm explaining it perfectly is helping me towards being able to actually tell her. Like a rehearsal. "The other Twilight is..." I shook my head; that was the most horrible sentence I could have started. "She..." Even worse. I sighed, both frustrated and depressed. Depresstrated? Fruspressed? I should've asked Pinkie what the word for this was when I had the chance. I shook my head. "She's gone, Princess."

She tilted her head, her brow furrowing into a knot. "Gone?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but I was interrupted by the sound of music. "What the...?"

"Heeey!" The doors to the library flew open in a blast of purple magic. "Heeeeey!"

Comprehension is far beyond my capabilities as Twilight trotted in, skipping slightly with a small black device in her grip. "What's the matter wid'ja heead? Yeah!"

"What is going on here?!" Celestia yelled, shaking her head. "Would somepony explain this to me?!"

The music skidded to a stop, like a record player as she stands there, staring at Celestia for a good long while. She then galloped over in a panic. "I'm you from the future!" The other Twilight poked Celestia on the chestplate. Wait what?

"I'm not white in the future?" Celestia tilted her head, staring at the other Twilight with a strange, strange look. "And for that matter, what about the time split?"

The other Twilight opened her mouth, nodding a little. Then her eyes narrowed as she looked Celestia over again."Wait... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." She then looked over at me. "That's right, I always mix that part up. I'm you from the future." She waves her legs out, presenting the world "Ta-daaaaa~!"

I looked her over: short wavy mane, not much taller—if any taller at all—than me, still wearing my tiara. "I'm... Gonna go out on a limb here and say you're not from too far in the future, are you?"

"Only a few billion years." She waved me away, picking a random book from the shelf and skimming the pages. "Maybe a few trillion. Which sounds more believable?" She then tossed the book behind her as I caught it and put it back on the shelf.

"More likely it's a decade or two, if even that long." I deadpanned. "What are you doing here? Isn't this endangering the time stream?"

"Nah. Other Twilight fixed that. Or is it Other other other Twilight yet?" She tapped her chin, raising a brow. "I can't remember when that happened."

I opened my mouth to question that, but I closed in out of better judgement. "Can't you see I was trying to have a serious conversation with Princess Celestia?"

"Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm sorry. Go ahead." She magics up a lawn chair and an extra large drink from that hay burger shop I like. "I'll just sit here. Quietly. Like a church mouse even."

I sighed, looking back at Princess Celestia. "The other Twilight—not this one. "I gesture to the giddy purple alicorn tipping her chair from side to side impatiently. "Taught me two spells without telling me what they–"

Sluuuurp

I glared over at Other Other Twilight, my horn lighting as I sent her drink to the moon. Well, I actually just sent it into my personal washroom here in the castle, but she doesn't have to know that. "Would. You. Mind?"

"Ooooh. Sorry, sorry." She nodded, waving her hoof in a circle. "Go on."

I closed my eyes, using my magic to massage that little pain between my eyes as I let out a grand sigh. "She taught me two spells without telling me what they–"

"Look over there!" Other Other Twilight yelled, pointing with her hoof behind us. We all looked and saw... Other Other Twilight pointing behind us. "It's Other Other Other Twilight!" Other Other Twilight yelled, waving to her duplicate. Well, my duplicate but.. I... My head hurts. A lot.

"Hi Other Other Twilight!" Other Other Other Twilight yelled, waving back. This was chaos. I needed something to order things, I was getting way too confused.

"Twilight, I'm starting to get tired of you showing up everywhere." Celestia said. When I spared her a glance, she didn't exactly look happy,

"Okay! Every Twilight who's not me, line up. I'm assigning new names." I commanded. Two more Twilights came out from behind plants and lined up in front of me with the other two. I pointed at the first, "Hokey Smokes." The second. "Queen Blast–Yer–Face–Off." Third. "Whine–Flanks." And finally: The fourth. I pointed at her longer than the others, creasing my brow in thought. "Purple."

"That's it?" Purple asked. "Queen Blasty," She pointed at said purple horse. "Smokey." Point. "And Whiny." Again, another point. Then she pointed to herself. "Purple? What am I, your least favorite child? Did I kill mom when she tried to shove my fat head out of her womb?"

I ignored her. "Hokey! You came here first, mind explaining?" I jabbed a hoof out at Hokey.

Hokey Smokes saluted. "Ma'am! My name is Queen Blast–Yer–Face–Off, Ma'am!"

I pointed at the actual Hokey Smokes without missing a beat. "You came here first, mind explaining?"

"Twilight, I don't think the names are working." Celestia said quietly. "Maybe collars?"

"I do mind very much actually." Hokey said, smugly tilting her head away from me into the air.

My eye twitched. "Why?"

"I mind answering that question a lot more!" I'm starting to really dislike myself.

I filed down the list, "Queen Blast–Yer–I don't even care—Status report?"

"I have none, Ma'am!" She saluted again. "No idea how we got here, Ma'am!"

"Err. Twilight?" I decided to try one more before answering Celestia.

"Whine–Flanks?" I pleaded with her, pouting slightly. "C'mon, you gotta tell me something." I inched up uncomfortably close to her, wiggling my eyebrows. "Please? Anything?"

She nodded, leaning in closer. I tilted my ear towards her, cupping my hoof around it. "I don't wanna get in the damn robot!"I pulled back, trying to blink away the ringing in my ear stupidly; my magic starting to dig at the crumbling earwax.

I frowned, my hearing returning. "Excuse me?"

"I." She pointed to herself. I nodded, following her along in her explaination. "Do not." I nod again. "Want." Nod. "To get in the damn robot!"

I turned to the other three mes and Celestia, "What's a robot?" I asked, arching a brow.

"I think it's her mom." Hokey snickered. 

"Hey!" All of us others Twilight yelled, "Don't talk about my mom like that!" We all yelled in unison.

"Err..." Celestia coughed into her hoof. "Yes, quite. Now if somepony could explain what happened at the time split." 

"Twilight died!" Hokey yelled with a smile.

"No she didn't!" Blasty yelled over her, hoofing her over the head. "Didn't you read the unpublished sequel?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I wish to be an umpaloompa!" Purple suddenly announced, drawing all our attention.

"Twilight, do you have issues you need to talk about?"

I groaned. "No! I do not have issues except the ones I'm having with myself right... now.." I thought about what I was saying. "Not to say I actually have issues. I just don't like myself!" Oops. "But! No! I love myself! I'm really awesome but I hate these mes!"

I turned around, walking straight into one of the other Twilights. "Tell her."

I gave her an exasperated glance, sighing with exhaustion. "Tell her what?"

Instead of answering me, the other Twilight looped her hoof around  mine and walked me back over to Celestia. She glanced between me and Celestia, smiling small with a blush. "We want you to marry us." What.

"I'm not certain that's healthy." Celestia remarked, her face devoid of emotion.

"I don't want to marry her!" I screamed, pulling my hoof from her. "Sh–She's me!"

"You said you loved me!" She gestured to me and then herself. "I thought we had something special!"

"N–No, we do! We're both the same pony!" I stomped a little. "Which is why I can't marry you!" I at this point saw Celestia walking away in my peripheral vision. "Wait!" I neighed, holding a hoof out as if to grab her from afar.


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I restore myself when I'm alone. 
—Marilyn Monroe