//------------------------------// // Hello from the outside! (5) // Story: The New StalLi-Ion // by Twilight_the_spy //------------------------------//      Unofficial, Official, Authors Note: Ergh, all the indents are different lengths... I will fix that another day... Doing so on the phone is not the greatest of things to do. (Seriously, editing on phones need to be much easier.) "I think we should bunker down.  I sure as hell am not going outside if that thing is still around."      Forge looked over to me, eyes still showing signs of fear, "That would probably be the best course of action.  But first we should make sure nothing can get through the doors and windows."      So we set off to doing just that, finding random objects, like book cases, beds, coffee tables, etc. to seal all the entrances.  While doing so, I 'explored' the house.  By explored, I mean simply look around while finding random crap to block windows with.  I found that the house has three floors.  The basement, main floor, and second floor.  On each floor was one bedroom, and in the basement, within the same hallway that led to the bedroom, there was a bathroom.        Looking inside showed nothing fancy, but ponies did have basic plumbing.  Though the super long and thin toilets looked weird.  Imagine a regular toilet, then stretch the bowl forwards, and trim the sides.  Then make it much lower, too.  It was practically in the floor, maybe a couple inches off the floor.  I'll have to figure out how to use it later... There was also a bathroom attached to the main floor's bedroom, but no bathrooms upstairs.      The kitchen was decent, though I would have to learn how to cook on this awkward looking 'magical variant' (according to Forge) of a stove.  It had no oven, but where the oven should have been there was a series of pipes that ran along in spirals and twists and in other confusing ways until they all eventually met at each of the two burners.      This really doesn't look efficient.      As it turns out, ponytown has running water.  But not the warm kind, just freezing cold water.  Looks like I won't be having a warm shower any time soon... Sad thoughts aside, my stomach decided it was bored of not eating, and decided to let me know using it's stereotypical little growl.  Looking to the pantries, hoping to raid them of their food contents, I went to open one.      "Hey, Silver!  I'm gonna put this new bed I found to good use.  Goodnight!"  Forge suddenly called.      Glancing in the direction I heard the call from, I hollered back, "Alright, see you whenever you wake up."  Not going to say see you in the morning, because who knows what a normal pony's sleep cycle is.  I don't!      Suddenly something started scratching against the door again, and I ran off to where I heard Chrysalis' voice, "I don't think we should yell, it's back!"  I whispered with a scared tone as I got in her room, "It's scratching on the door again."      "Oh pony feathers..." Chrysalis said as she hunkered down underneath the covers, "I ain't movin'.  This is my hiding place, go find yer own." Feel the 'brother sister' bond? Nope, me neither.  I guess this is what adopted kids feel like...  I'm never gonna make fun of an adopted kid again.  Now I feel bad. As I headed off to hide in my new room in the basement, my belly, once again, cried out in anguish.  I swear that thing is a drama queen.  But I guess I should still find something to eat.      But that means you have to go through the house with that beast lurking outside.      Oh shit, brain...  You're right.  Goddammit, I have to, though.  I haven't eaten since before I woke up yesterday, and it's already nighttime!      Steeling my resolve, I began to sneak over to the kitchen, taking quick glances around corners before fully committing to going around them.      Once I got to the kitchen, and all seemed quiet, I reached up to the cupboard.  Guess what I found?      Nothing.      Fuck me.      Searching in the cupboard directly beside it, I found that this house did in fact have food.  It was cheese heaven.  So many types of cheese.  So many types of cheese that I almost missed the mouse that ran up to me and looked up at me with pleading eyes.      "Well, I guess animals on this world might be different from the ones on my world...  In other words, maybe this mouse isn't full of germs and other nasties."      With my external thinking done, I got generous, and ripped a part of the cheese off of the brick I was holding.  I then passed it to the little dude that I have dubbed, "Larry."      But he didn't take it.  No, it almost looked as if he was looking at something behind me, and I swear I could see it's eyes growing in fear.  I also could've sworn there was only one mouse here, so how come there are little scritch-scratching noises behind me... Turning around, while preparing another chunk of cheese for Larry's other mouse pal, I noticed that there was no other mouse there.  Though I still heard the scratching noise.  It took me a moment to realize that the scratching noise was coming from somewhere a mouse wouldn't have been.      The noise was coming from somewhere level with my head.  Turning, I saw the one thing I wished I wouldn't have seen.  The only window that I forgot to cover.  The only window that it could see me through. The window seemed very dark, where light appeared, it was sucked into the window. It was as if there was a black hole directly outside of the window. But then suddenly two orbs opened up, staring directly into my eyes.      Fear gripped me at that moment, and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had screamed, only I wasn't able to.  As soon as I saw those eyes, it was if I was frozen.        I couldn't move.  No, scratch that, I was moving... Towards it.  My face began to smile on it's own accord. No! No, help me! Please stop!  Stop going towards it, body! Stay!      I was practically standing in front of the sink now, with the sink being just below the window.  With nothing else to do, I resigned to my fate; death.      But then suddenly the cupboard hanging above and to the right fell off of its hangars with a green, magical spark, landing directly in front of the window and cutting off my view of the monster.  This caused whatever grip it had on me to falter, and I fell to the ground, shaking.      Chrysalis came running over to me, and grabbed me in a hug, "Wake up!  Don't be gone!"      "Wh-what?  What just happened?  How'd you figure out I was in trouble?"  My already addled mind began to overload.  Questions were flying about at 50 kilometers per second.  'Holy shit, I almost died!', 'What was that thing?', and, 'Am I still alive?' being the most prominent and repetitive of them all.      "I sensed the dark presence, and a sudden large influx of fear from you, and then your emotions began to feel... Forced.  As if you were under some sort of mind control.  I thought I lost you already." She then started weeping on my shoulder.      Huh, one day and she's already this attached to me?  I guess pony bonds happen fast...  I also take back what I said about the brother/sisterly love thing.      Cuz now I'm feeling it.      But now this hug thing was starting to get weird, so I began pushing her off, and stood up, "Well, I am alright.  But I'd prefer to not have another encounter with that thing.  So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide in the basement."  I said the last part with speed that matched my physical speed, as I had already started to run down towards the basement.  Definitely do NOT want to have another encounter with that thing...      Once I got to my new room in the basement, I began unpacking my saddlebags.  Starting with the left side, I pulled out the laptop and stuck it on the nightstand.  The one on the opposite side of the bed that wasn't in view of the door.  I knew that I had to make sure nobody -or nopony- would see it, as I could get singled out as an alien for having way better technology than what they have...  Unless they have better technology than me, but I don't see it yet?      Nah.      Once the laptop was set up, I grabbed the solar panel and went to set it up, but promptly hit a roadblock.      In order to set up the solar panel with maximum efficiency, I would have to unblock the window, and more than likely, open it all the way.  Which of course, is NOT happening due to the reason of 'I've almost died already and I don't want to now.'  So I guess I will just have to wait to set it up.  Hopefully that thing will be gone by morning.      Reaching in to my bag to check if there was anything I wasn't aware of, I found another note.             Hello Silver, I'm sure that by now you have found your home, and have settled in peacefully.  You have also probably noticed some subtle things too, like being able to walk as a Quadruped while having no training in how to do so.           This is normal.  Part of the protocol for misplaced (note that misplaced should not be confused with displaced) beings such as yourself was to hardwire these small things into your brain, so it's like instincts.  Normally this is very helpful, but if you don't know what you are doing, it can seriously mess up one's mind.  You may or may not have noticed that your wings... Don't respond to your mental command very well.  You see, in order to be able hardwire an instinct in, you must have had prior knowledge of how it works.  I have 'worked' with many quadrupeds, but never before have I worked with something that is winged.           I know you are probably thinking that 'How can death himself not have served a winged species?'           The answer to that is simple, remember the elevator you came in on?  How it went into a star?  Each star has their own 'Death Lounge' (It's what we call it), so there are actually over sixty three billion other deaths out there.  The thing is, is that I've actually only served three dead entities, including you.  There was a horse named Rose, which is how I knew how to hardwire the Quadruped motion into your brain, as my trainer was still with me at the time to teach me how.  But there was also a squid, again, my trainer was there, so if you ever grow tentacles, let me know.  I can get you control over them with a snap of my fingers, literally.  But never before have I had a winged species.  I didn't want to mess you up, so I let you go without the mind changing.  I'm pretty sure you can spare some time to learn how though, right? For future reference, this bag can be used to transport letters to and from me.  Just write your letter, roll it up, and write, "Death 71495443" on the sides of it.  Then put it in the outer left sac of the bags, the one with the emerald on the zipper.  It will send straight to my office.      Huh, I guess that's good to know.  I'll have to find some paper and a pen, but until then I guess he won't know how I'm doing.  I'll also keep this paper, as his number seemed like it was too long to simply remember.      Once again entering my bag, I found an Epipen.      Holy shit, I hadn't even thought of that. I'm allergic to Timothy!      Not the best thing to be allergic to in a land populated by hay eating species...      Hopefully the dust from it won't trigger my allergies.  And for anyone who doesn't know, Timothy is, as it was explained to me, Hay grass.  Like, the stuff that grows before they dry it or whatever they do to make it hay.  Yeah, as I said, not the best thing to be allergic to.        But, with nothing better to do than think, I spread myself across my new, cozy bed, and went to sleep. #$The most innovative chapter break in the world$#      ...As the crown tower blew up and I won the frighteningly realistic Battle Royale, my troops presented me the queen who had been locked away by the evil overlord, and I made my move to kiss her ha--      "WAKE UP YOU DEAF NINCOMPO-EUGH"      Perfect morning to give a nice smootch to someone you just met the other day eh?      ...      Maybe you shouldnt interrupt my good dreams then. I thought while looking over to a disguised, and grossed out Chrysalis, who was currently rubbing her forehead and making 'ew ew ew' noises.      "Sorry, I should mention that I have vivid dreams, and it's sometimes dangerous to wake me up during them,"  I said, Lucky she didn't get me during a swordfighting dream, though this is more awkward than painful, "Sorry about that though, let's just forget this ever happened please?"      "Yeah, yeah.  I see that now... And it never happened."  She replied hastily, "What kind of bucking dream were you having anyways?" Though she said the last part so quietly that I couldn't catch it.      Looking over to Chrysalis again, who had adopted a neutral expression now, I asked, "What was it you wanted me up for?"      Oh, here she goes, from grossed out to happier than life faster than you can say 'Pizza', "Oh yeah!" She practically yelled, causing me to twitch my ears backwards.  Oh yeah I can do that now! "The ponies are out again!  We can go back outside and explore the town!"      But did I hear her? No.  I was too busy with a goofy expression on my face while twisting my ears back and forth.  Don't look at me like that, if your ears could move like that you would too.      "SILVER!" Smack!      "Ow! Ow, I'm sorry, Mom, I'll listen now.  Lay off with the physical abuse, jeez."  Chrysalis - One, Me - Zero.      Wiping her angry expression from her face, she once again exclaimed, "The ponies are back!  We can go outside again!"  Upon hearing this fact, I realized that I had in fact heard chattering coming from the direction of the window when I was playing with my ears.        "Alright, you can wait upstairs, I'll be right there."  Once she complied and had left the room, I removed the large board I had found from the window, and looked outside.      Well, this isn't one of the greatest vantage points, as the window was level with the ground and I was therefor looking up from underneath the ponies as they passed.  But I did make some discoveries...  Very awkward discoveries.      Female ponies don't have their breasts on their chests, nope.  In fact, they were down a lot farther.  Like I said, kinda awkward, but would probably save me an even awkwarder moment if this ever (somehow) got brought up in a conversation and I didn't know about it.  Although it kinda does make sense, as that is where a female horse's (from my world) would be.      Throwing those thoughts aside, I happily opened my saddlebag and pulled out the solar panel, using some skillluck, I managed to get the solar panel held up against the window using that chunk of wood that I used to board it up.  Then I simply plugged it into my laptop, and waited for the charge.      ...      Dammit,  I forgot solar panels would be slow and inefficient, especially when they don't get direct sunlight... Houston, we have a problem.  Though I guess I could just simply wait until after we get back from exploring the town...      My estimate says that the battery will be at least half full by then.      "Hey!  Are you coming to explore or what?"      Oh yeah, I guess she asked me to explore with her.  Should probably go now then.      Heading for the door of the room, I began to get a little bit excited and nervous about what I would see.  I stopped in the doorway and began pondering; Would they figure me out as an alien instantly?  Would they like me?  Would they all be as crazy as the two I've already met?      I suppose that it is inevitable that I meet them, so I might as well face my fears and do it now. Forcing my hooves to move forward, I began heading up the stairs...  Then I promptly faceplanted into a very impatient Chrysalis      "What were you doing down there, you are keeping me from going out and exploring!" She whined, with a very pouty pout on her face.      "I was talking to Jimmy."      "...Who's Jimmy?"      "The pony standing right behind you is Jimmy."  She quickly reared around to face 'Jimmy' only to find --(surprise)-- nothing.      "Ugh, I should have realized when I didn't feel a second set of emotions..." This whole sensing emotions thing is really weird but cool...  Though I'm still not quite used to someone just casually saying they can sense emotions. But that angry look on her face tho.  She could make it in to the army!  I do admit that I chuckled a little at her reaction.      "Alright, I guess we should head out then now that the joking is over."  I said, looking over towards the stairs.  Let's try this yet again, shall we?  Maybe I won't get distracted while heading to the stairs this time. And I did.  I made it to the top of the stairs without getting distracted.  I also managed to get outside too with the same luck.      But then I did get distracted.  By the sun.  It was damned bright today.  I never really liked the hot days very much, I was more of a calm spring day kind of guy.  Those types of days is when the weather is perfect.  Not too hot, but yet not so cold you freeze your ass off.  Luckily for me, even though the sun is as bright as it is, it must give off a lot less heat on this planet.  Because it feels like a nice spring day to me.      Looking around my newest neighborhood, the first thing that I noticed was that the houses here were crazy.  Like, so crazy that it looks like one of my Lego houses from when I was about five or six years old.      Each house started normally, a square shape that went up about five or six feet (Though my reference may be off due to being smaller than I used to be), but that's where it ends.  After the initial normalness, the house begins to look like an upside down snowman.  with each segment larger than the last, and more off center and askewed.  Most if the homes were about three floors high, but I was one of the unlucky few that only got two floors above ground level rather than three. As I walked down my lawn I looked left and right at my new town. To my home's direct left (facing away from the front door) was a river, along with a bridge that spans the gap. Across he bridge were more houses, and possibly some sort of shops. To my right was the big town hall. Also it seemed there was some sort of market around there.      The next thing I noticed -- no, realized was how to tell mares and stallions apart.  It's literally the most simplistic thing ever.  Mares have a rounded nose while stallions have a straight nose.      Once I noticed this, it led me to another conclusion... There were many more mares than stallions...      Now all I can do is hope that they don't go stir crazy around males.      Perhaps that's why Chrysalis acts so hyper? Actually that's probably not it, as I'm pretty sure no... Pony likes her without her disguise, so I'm probably a first on that.      I should ask her about that sometime too.      Though I guess I should start following Chrysalis, now disguised as Forge, go to...  Wherever she's going.      Catching up to Forge, I asked her, "Hey, where are we even gonna go anyways?"      Continuing to walk down the block, she stated, "I thought we could go to the market, get something better to eat.  The only things I saw in cupboards were cheese.  I know you can't survive on just that."      "You may think I can't, but I know I can." I retorted.  Just thinking about all the cheese in there made me want to run back to the house and eat it all right now.      Forge looked at me with a face of disgust, "I know for a fact that ponies need more than just cheese to keep them healthy.  Don't try to fool me."  With that, I just shut up resigned to following her.  Mostly because I had no the comeback.  Totally not because she's intimidating, nope.      We were just walking silently when suddenly all the ponies around us started to cheer, while looking up.  I decided I would look up too.      What I saw was this magnificent beauty, with the sun radiating around her with her hair flowing just perfectly.        Actually I didn't, because I couldn't see anything for the first few seconds of looking.  But after those few seconds, I saw a white... Pegasus? On the horizon.  Why were these ponies cheering for a Pegasus that looks like me other than the hair color?      That's when I noticed the regalia.  Golden shoes, golden chest plate, a crown.  Oh... This pony must be some sort of Queen or something.  Judging by the shouts of other ponies around me, I'm pretty sure her name is Celestial.^**  I should probably keep away from her then.  Not sure if I'd like to literally be an illigal alien around royalty... oOo The most innovative chapter break in the world oOo            Celestia was not having a good day.  Well, a good two days, really. First she was stuck in Day Court, then suddenly, there was a huge spike in magical energy coming from the direction of Ponyville.  Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but with her sister's return supposed to be the next week, she couldn't help but think that maybe she had estimated the date wrong.        But she knew that she couldn't just assume like that, so she went through the rest of the boring day of rich nobles whining about not having enough bits.      Then this morning as she was still groggy from sleep, she hit her head on her door when she went to close it, causing the two nearby guards to chortle in laughter.      And now she was tracking the high amount of residual magic that was emanating from the White-Tail woods.         oOo The most innovative chapter break in the world oOo        "What are you doing, Silver!" Forge angrily called.      "Uhh, standing here and watching the show?" I said sarcastically.      "She's royalty, you have to do something you idiot."  She sounds hella angry, I should probably do something.      Looking up, I saw the white Pegasus.  'Celestial' looked in my direction, so I waved.  She waved back.  You should have heard the crowd, too.  I laughed a good bit at their reactions.  'Who's she waving at?' 'Me you wart!' And then there was that one pony who just overdid it way too much, 'OH MY GOSH SHE'S WAVING AT ME' then heavy breathing was heard, and a flop echoed around.      She fainted.  I feel bad for saying this, but I think I laughed even harder at that, while Forge glared at me, of course, for 'acting bad around the princess'      Yes, she said princess.  So not queen, apparently.  I guess there's a prince then, too?      Though it did look like the princess was giggling a little bit.  Though I have no clue how I could tell that with how far away we were.  Maybe magic eyes?  That'd be pretty cool.      She seemed to fly at a calm pace, I guess.  The only reason I say this is because she wasn't going crazy trying to flap her wings, but I couldn't really say for certain though, as I haven't been a Pegasus for longer than two days.      But then she flew over top of us, and I noticed that the Pegasus, was indeed not a Pegasus.      She had both body parts.  NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT YOU PERVERTED... Ugh.      She was a Pegasusacorn.  I think.  I'll have to ask about that one, it's kind of a mouthful to say that.      'What's your race?'      'It's called a Pegasusacorn.'      ...      And now back to our regularly scheduled program.      While I had been thinking, she had flown by.  Long gone was this Celestial girl, didn't even stop to say "Hi." to her followers.  Rude.      With that event over, we returned to walking to the market. I wonder if they have Pizza Pops here...      Now, my version of a market and Chrysalis' are VERY different.  I thought we'd be walking into some miniature version of Walmart, but nope, this 'market' is outside.      Out-Freaking-Side. I mean, who even has outdoor markets anymore?  It's fucking 2017 man, get with the program.      Oh yeah, nevermind that.  I just figured out that I am, in fact stuck in a world that's still in like, the bronze age or something.      I'm going to die here.  Forever without an online friend on Steam to beat up in CS:GO...  Though I shouldn't complain, because at least I got to bring my bae, laptop. (I should think of a better name for her.)      The market here though, if you ever wanted farm fresh instead of GMOs, this is a great place to go.  Most of the ponies who work the stalls have fruits that look very fresh.      As I was admiring the stands, I began to notice that I was getting a few stares.  Normally I wouldn't mind getting stared at, as I was usually constantly awkward back on earth, but being on a new planet and being a whole new species.  But I couldn't help but get the sense that I was doing something wrong.  Like that feeling when your boss tells you to do something and leaves but you didn't hear him properly, so you don't know if your doing it right the whole time you are doing it?  Yeah, that's about how I felt right now.      Until I picked up some of the murmurs from the ponies watching me.      "Is he the new stallion in town?"  A male voice said      Why yes, I am new.  Thanks for asking behind my back.      "He looks pretty nice."  A female voice spoke soon after.      Thanks brah... Or whatever you call them here.      More female voices joined in, "I think he looks cute."      "He is very handsome for his colorings."      And now we are getting into weird territory...      But then there is always that one person who is so blunt, that you'd think they were a hammer, "I'd buck him."      Now this message didn't get across to me at first.  I thought she literally meant, buck.  Like a wild horse does when you get too close to its rear end.  But then I realized... After another pony came up to me, of course.      "Hey stud, how would you like to go for a roll in the hay with us.      I turned around and looked at the blue unicorn.      I almost bitch slapped her (but I restrained that action barely). There was a little something that I figured out after hearing this. For one, there are more females than males here, so our roles are reversed. One gender will be more 'dominant' than the other, and will be trying to make me their bitch. And two... I didn't want to be anyone's bitch.      I walked around the little shit, and she watched me, slightly confused. When I got past her she hiked up her tail and made some odd chittering noises (probably classified as 'sexy' in this world). It was of no use, as I was quite unhappy. I got to the stall Forge was at, and told her I would be heading back to the house.      "Aww, but we just got out here!" She whined.      "Yeah I know, you can stay if you want.  I'll tell you why I left when we get back."      "It's okay, I'll come with you.  I got most of the stuff I wanted anyways."  Kind of wondering where she got the money for that though, as she was kinda sorta living in a cave when I found her.      During this time, the blue pony was looking towards me hopefully. Her tail still hiked in the air, until I began trudging away, "Hey, wait, you didn't answer me!"  She made to begin walking beside me, so I began to jog.  Hopefully she understands the memo.      Turns out, she did.  And once I began to jog, she slowed down and turned around and went back to her group of friends...  Probably to plan how to rape me.      I wonder if my laptop can replicate the Iron Man armor for a pony.  I feel like I need that to survive here.  Like, I think it's a legit NEED.      Once we got back to the house, I turned the door handle and stepped into the unusually dark room.  I mean, I'm pretty sure the curtains should be letting in more light, right?      Please don't let it be another one of those creepy ghost things that got in my new home already.