//------------------------------// // 14 // Story: Tales of a Brighton Phoenix // by The Stainmore Phoenix //------------------------------// To say we had runarounds would be an understatement. Running all over Equestria to find an Alicorn with Sun Orange coat with a gray mane and a flaming sun Cutie Mark was proving to be difficult. Running ads in the paper didn't help and felt like giving up. “Hopeless,” I said. “This venture is hopeless.” “Not at all.” I looked up. It wasn't one of the group, because they were out running around and I looked around until I spotted a figure I recognized only from old photographs-my grandfather, in his Crew Chief's uniform, sitting in the chair on the other side of my desk. “Grandpa; I'm getting no answer, my teams are coming back empty, any ponies who were questioned either know nothing or stay tight lipped, any ponies that saw her lie through their teeth and assholes, and to top it off, I get complaints every ten minutes from the police about this investigation,” I said. “Have you tried any new lines of inquiry?” he asked. “Like maybe asking in places she would likely frequent now that she doesn't have her sisters and brothers to pester her.” “That's a good idea,” I said. “Another thing is set up a stake out in said places to spot her,” he said. Again, I conceded he had a point. Once he reassured me that things would pull through, he faded into the shadows. “Time to go Nero Wolfe,” I said. If you do not know what that means-it is basically taking all the overlooked items and finding value in them when others don't. It makes things easier when you have a new avenue to look down. Sometimes it confuses those around me, but I don't care. When the others came back, I made the suggestions my dead grandfather made and even volunteered to run along with them. “So there's answers in the places we've never looked,” came my sister's all too familiar irritated voice. “Yes,” I said. “Well, let's get looking,” she said. “And brainless, your coming with me.” I followed my sister out and from there, we split up and played private detectives. The advice seemed to pay off as ponies we questioned now said they saw her in the crime ridden part of town. After thanking them, we went in there. To say it was the undesirable part of town would be a lie. It was a rat infested town that even the rats refused to stay in. “Come on, lets find her and get out of here,” I said. “Knowing the type of ponies that hang around here, we'd be in a fight in no time.” The others agreed and we set to work combing the buildings. Each one stunk of garlic, onions, chili cheese fries (and six year old batches at that). Add to that stairs creaked with every step and paint that was peeling, as well as wood rot, mold and trash piled up in the halls. “Wow, the daughter of Nebula has to pick a shithole,” I said. Continuing on, she was eventually found by Dorset, sleeping on the floor, in a rat infested apartment near a closed down railway station. To say she looked a shambles would be an understatement. She was a downright mess. Her coat was so thick with dust and grime it wasn't funny. She had an eye patch over one eye, one of her wings was bound to her body, her horn was cracked and her left ear had a large nick in it. “Sweet Brunel!” I choked out. “What happened?” “Slum life,” came Dorset's reply. “That won't do at all,” I said. “Come, let's get her out of here and back to the castle so we can fix her up.” “Please,” came another voice. We looked at Solar Flare. She looked up. “Please,” she said again. “Come on,” I said. The landlord, a disgruntled, grizzly, cigar smoking Unicorn that smelled of a cheap clone of Jack Daniels (finest Irish Lager) faced us. “And where is she going?” he growled. “Home,” I said. “Hmmph. That's what you think,” he growled again. “And what does that mean?” Dorset hissed. “I...own...her,” he spelled out. “Think again,” I snarled. “I was hired by her mother to find and bring her back. If you want to complain, take it up with Queen Nebula.” “That bitch doesn't exist,” he snarled. “Now leave the phony pony here.” I pushed Solar Flare towards the door telling Dorset to take her back to the castle and leave me here to fight this crook. “If I come back in a coffin, then I'll be fine,” I said. Dorset wasn't happy at that, but I gave him no choice in the matter. I found Nebula's daughter and damn it, I wasn't going to let some dime store sap hurt her more. Once they were out, the manager and I turned to pure fighting. He threw a left hook. I dodged and gut punched him in the stomach. He reeled back and then tried to straight shot my face and caught my on the left side of my nose. I roundhouse kicked him on the left side. “Cheap bastard,” he growled. “I say the same,” I said. He snarled and lunged. I dropped and rolled off. He slammed into a wall and dropped down. I saw he was breathing, but out of it. “Here's a tip-don't piss off a detective,” I said and left. The fight, despite being short, left me with a bloody nose. I stopped off in a bathroom and cleaned my face up. No way in hell was I going to look like a messy little so and so before reuniting a family. I should be a real gentlecolt and nothing less. At least, I should have been back to oversee this. However, I was hauled in on assault, aiding and abetting, conspiracy and missing payments. The inspector, a surly unicorn named Inspector Cigar Stub, took very little pity on me. “You better be grateful that these are the only charges,” she growled. “otherwi...” “You know, you remind me of a deranged maniac,” I jabbed. “Shaddup,” she huffed. “You know your in the soup, right?” “With that crook? Who was abusing Celestia's sister?” I quizzed. “Alright, I want your side of the events,” she snapped. “Fancy dress or plain?” I asked. “English,” she snorted. So I gave it to her straight. No skirting the facts, no omitting fact, no changing of minor details. She was glaring at me, but by the time I finished, she was making notes and shouting for a lieutenant. She then turned to me. “Stay here,” she said. “I'm going to find this Celestia and if she has a mother, find her and this Solar Flare, then we're going to get to the bottom of this. If you are lying, then you'll be sleeping on a cot in a rat infested cell.” I chuckled and sat there, reading a book on the shelf. After an hour of waiting, Dad, Celestia, Nebula and Solar Flare entered with Cigar Stub, who was giving me the dirtiest look. “You know, your one of the dirtiest ponies I've ever met, having royalty as witnesses to collaborate your statements,” she snorted. “Then again, why would I have a reason to lie?” I asked. “I may send you on a game of “Run, Sheep, Run” but I wouldn't directly lie to you.” She chuckled and said that she would enjoy having me make wise cracks as well as somepony who helps solve crimes. I chuckled and said I could try to fit it in with my guard details. “Of course,” she said. We left, and Dad asked me to stay behind and looked down at me. “Alright, Brighton Radstock Phoenix, we have to have a serious chat sometime, about your stunts,” he said. “Cadence isn't happy with this either and she's of the opinion you might end up...gone.” “Dad; Me, Mom, Skyla, Celestia, Luna, their siblings, and Nebula have immortality. It is considered a curse more than a blessing,” I said. “So make of that what you will.” Shining looked at me before sitting down. “Brighton, despite sitting on this, at times, you seem to despise me and Cadence,” he said. “Do you have something against us?” “Cadence is an Immortal being that could be considered God, and my friends who read this go about whining that some cheapskate little piece of shit like me gets to be Cadence's son. Some have even accused me of actually being either Luna or Celestia's son!” I snapped. I collapsed onto the floor and looked down. “I...I...I don't know how to feel anymore,” I mumbled weakly. “What do I do?” “Just live,” Shining said. “Let them complain about this. If I may, can I let you in on a little secret?” “Yes, dad,” I said. “Cadence picked you because of how multitalented you are. None of that silly Mary Sue or Gary Stu trash. Honestly, if they believe that your perfect, then they are clearly unable to match your versatility. Going back over your past, Cadence saw how well you went from the fast, heavy jobs to some of the most tedious, nasty and downright disrespectful jobs,” he said. “Having worked with this engine called a Black Five, Cadence thought that the Alicorn status fit you because she said that Equestria has never had an Alicorn do a wide range of jobs. Most are...as you would say...allocated to princessely duties. As for Skyla, a pony that is Merchandise only fit your sister. Cadence has a plan, despite no-pony knowing it at all.” I chuckled. At that moment, Shining left and I glanced back to the station, where another phantom engine sat in one of the sidings. Instead of the engine being a J39, it was a Black Five. Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Do these ghosts mean something or is my imagination going haywire?