Applejack walked through the maze, looking around cautiously. “Alright…” she muttered to herself, “Just gotta find the others and get the Elements back.” She turned the corner and sighed as she saw another empty row. “Where the hell are they?” she muttered.
As Applejack walked down the path, she spotted something red from the corner of her eye. She paused and turned her head. As she gazed down another path, her gaze locked on to something familiar.
“Apples?” she muttered, walking forward.
In the center of the path were three of the shiniest apples Applejack had ever seen. As she walked up to them, they rolled down the path, as if tugged by an unseen force.
“What the hell?” muttered Applejack, watching the apples roll away. She chased after the escaping fruit, following them down the path. After a few minutes, Applejack came to the end of the path and froze.
“What?” she asked.
A large grove was in front of her. As Applejack stepped forward, she looked around at the dozens of apple trees surrounding her.
“Where am Ah?” she asked herself.
“Why…you’re in an apple orchard, of course,” said a voice.
Applejack jumped and turned her head, spotting Discord leaning against one of the trees. “Discord?!” she yelled. “Where are we?! What did you do to the others?”
“I just told you that we’re in an apple orchard,” said Discord. He idly reached up and plucked an apple off the tree. He bit into it with a loud crunch. He chewed for a few moments before swallowing. “Delicious,” he said. He looked back at Applejack and said, “You really should try one of these, you know. They’re to die for.”
“You can take that apple and shove it up yer-” snarled Applejack.
“So rude,” said Discord, cutting her off. “I really expect better from you, Applejack. Didn’t your parents teach you any manners? Ooh…sorry about that. Didn’t Granny Smith teach you any manners?”
Applejack’s eyes narrowed as she glared at Discord.
Discord rolled his eyes and said, “So serious…do calm down, Applejack. I haven’t done anything to your friends. They’re still in the maze.”
“Uh-huh,” said Applejack disbelievingly. “And why am Ah here?”
Discord shrugged. “I figured you could use a break. Kick back, relax, let the important ponies handle things…”
“Would ya shut up about me not bein’ important?!” yelled Applejack. “Why do you keep sayin’ Ah’m not?!”
Discord shrugged and said, “Can you blame me? It’s not like you do anything exciting.”
“Ah went to the Grand Galloping Gala in order to sell mah apples,” said Applejack. “Ah rode to Appaloosa to give mah cousin an apple tree. Ah competed with Rainbow Dash at the beginning of fall. And Ah helped stop Nightmare Moon for fuck’s sake! Ah am important!”
Discord slowly applauded her. “All valid points, Applejack. Any one of those events would make anybody important…if they came up with them on their own.”
“What do ya mean?” asked Applejack, as she looked curiously at Discord.
“Oh, nothing much,” said Discord dismissively. “I just want you to answer me one question. How many of those events were something you were able to do on your own?”
“Easy!” said Applejack. “Ah went to the Grand Galloping Gala.”
“Didn’t you only get to go because Twilight had tickets for you?” asked Discord. “If she hadn’t give you one, you wouldn’t have gone.”
“That…might be true…” said Applejack slowly. She shook her head and said, “But what about Appaloosa? Ah made the choice to go see Braeburn.”
“Only after he sent you a letter asking for help,” said Discord. “You wouldn’t have had any reason to go otherwise.”
“Alright,” said Applejack, looking frustrated, “Then Rainbow Dash-”
“Was the one to approach you in order to get you in that competition,” interrupted Discord. “And, just to save time, you only fought Nightmare Moon because Twilight went after her.”
“Ah…suppose…” admitted Applejack.
“Let me ask you one more question,” said Discord. “If Twilight Sparkle had never arrived in Ponyville, what do you think you would be doing right now?”
“Ah…Ah don’t know,” said Applejack. “Ah guess Ah’d be out harvesting-”
“Apples.” Discord finished. “Apples. Apples. Apples.” He snapped his fingers and the trees around them withered. The apples on the branches turned rotten and dropped to the ground with a wet splat. The leaves dried and fell to the ground, leaving the branches bare. “Applejack, my dear,” said Discord as the trees died around them, “Do you know why I keep saying that you’re not important? It’s because you are boring.”
“Boring?” repeated Applejack. “How am Ah-”
“I think it would be best to get another opinion on this,” said Discord, smirking. He snapped his fingers.
“Ah tune you out a lot,” came Apple Bloom’s voice, echoing in the orchard. “Everything you say just comes back to apples after a while.”
“Alright,” said Applejack, “What was that supposed to prove?”
“My point,” said Discord simply. He leaned in and smirked at Applejack. “Everything about you comes back to apples eventually.” He chuckled and said, “You might have an odd adventure or two, but, at the end of the day, you go back to your farm and harvest apples.”
“No kiddin’,” said Applejack sarcastically. “God, it’s almost like mah family runs an orchard or somethin’.
“True,” nodded Discord, “But your family is more interesting than you. Granny Smith is full of life experiences, your little sister tries a variety of things in order to get her Cutie Mark…hell, even your brother is more interesting and all he has is his little crossdressing habit.”
“How Big Mac dresses is his own business,” said Applejack. “Ah won’t have you makin’ fun of him because he’s more comfortable in clothes for mares.”
“I think you’re missing what I’m saying,” said Discord. “You’re boring. You’re dull. Even your own sister admits it.” Discord smirked at her again and said, “And if your own flesh-and-blood thinks you’re boring, what do you think your friends think?”
“What do you mean?” asked Applejack.
Discord sighed and spoke slowly, as if he was explaining something obvious to a child, “You’re friends are Princess Celestia’s student, a hopeful for the Wonderbolts, a pony with some of my powers, an up-and-coming fashion designer, and a mare who deals with wild animals all day. And then there’s you: a farmer.”
“W-well…they don’t mind that…uh…” faltered Applejack.
“That you’re not as exciting as them?” supplied Discord. “They may be fine with it now, but do you honestly think that will last? Eventually they’ll get bored with you and find someone else to be friends with.”
“No…you’re wrong!” denied Applejack. “They wouldn’t!”
Discord chuckled and asked, “Who are you trying to convince? Me…or yourself?” He looked at the sky and said, “Well…I’ve got to head out. I’ve got a long day of conquering Equestria to get through.” He looked back at Applejack and said, “Can I get you anything before I leave? Oh! I know…” He snapped his fingers and an apple appeared in his hand. He set it on the ground in front of Applejack and smirked. “Enjoy!” he said. He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Applejack walked forwards until she was right in front of the apple. “They wouldn’t just abandon me for someone else…” she muttered as she stared at the red fruit. “…Would they?” She took a deep breath and said, “No. Ah won’t let that happen. No matter what.” She raised a hoof and stomped on the apple, crushing it.
Meanwhile:
Pinkie Pie bounced down the path, headphones on as she listened to music.
“Go back to sleep,
Go back to sleep,
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums…” blared the music.
“Wow…” muttered Pinkie as she took off the headphones. “Fluttershy’s music is weird.” She pulled a CD player out of her mane and wrapped the headphones around it. Stuffing it back in her mane, she laughed and said, “And who even listens to CDs anymore? What is she, 50?”
Meanwhile:
Fluttershy stopped walking and looked around, narrowing her eyes. “Why do I feel so angry all of a sudden?” she asked herself.
Back with Pinkie:
Pinkie turned the corner and entered a large, open area. As she walked in, hedges shot up from the ground and blocked the exit. Pinkie spun around at the noise and examined the blocked path. “Well…that’s ominous,” she muttered to herself. She turned back around again and froze as she took in the scene in front of her.
In the middle of the clearing, Discord was lounging comfortably on a large armchair and reading a newspaper. In his mouth was a pipe, from which purple smoke was rising.
“Discord?” asked Pinkie, coming closer.
Discord looked up from the paper and smiled, “Ah! Pretender! Just the pony I wanted to see.” He stood up and snapped his fingers, causing the chair, newspaper, and pipe to disappear. “I had a question I wanted to ask you.”
“A question?” asked Pinkie.
“Yes,” said Discord, “Something I’ve been dying to ask. Something deep. Something personal…”
“…Oh!” said Pinkie suddenly. She looked at Discord for a moment and asked, “You really wanted to ask that?”
“Yes,” said Discord. “Please tell me.”
“Ok…” said Pinkie. She blushed and said, “This is all happening so fast…I mean, we barely even know each other…”
“…Huh?” asked Discord.
“I guess we can make things work out…but what will my friends say?” continued Pinkie.
“Wait…” began Discord.
“I’m sure once they see how happy we are together they’ll-” continued Pinkie.
“Do you think I’m flirting with you?!” asked Discord.
Pinkie blinked at him. “…You’re not?”
“No!” said Discord.
“…Well, why not?” huffed Pinkie. “Am I not good enough for you?!”
Discord opened his mouth. Then he shut it. Then he opened it again and said, “Let’s just move on, shall we? I wanted to ask you how you got my powers.”
“Oh! Is that all?” asked Pinkie. “It all began when I got my Cutie Mark…”
Years ago:
A rainbow-colored explosion burst in the sky, sending waves of color blowing past the rock farm. A huge gust of wind blew blowing Pinkamena Pie’s mane back.
“I take it back!” yelled Pinkamena, throwing herself to the ground as the wind roared. “I want things bleak and dull again!”
As if on cue, the wind stopped. Pinkamena, her once-straight mane now poofy and curly, looked up and saw a rainbow in the sky. “Wow…” she muttered, taking in the colors. As a big smile grew on her face, bright light shined from her flanks. The light faded and the image of three balloons appeared on her flanks. Pinkamena, distracted by the rainbow, failed to notice this.
Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light from behind her. Pinkamena spun around and froze. Her eyes widened as she saw Princess Celestia standing in the middle of the field.
Celestia looked around at the scenery and blinked. “…Jesus, did I just go colorblind? Everything’s grey…”
“That’s how it normally looks, your Majesty,” said Pinkamena, bowing.
Celestia looked down at the filly and smiled. “Hello there! What’s your name?”
“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” said Pinkamena.
Celestia blinked. “…That’s way too many syllables. Can I call you Pinkie for short?”
“Pinkie?” repeated Pinkamena, trying out the name. “Pinkie...Pinkie!” She smiled and said, “I love it!”
“And I love your mane!” said Celestia, poking at the newly-christened Pinkie’s hair. “It looks like cotton candy mixed with bubblegum.”
“I don’t know what either of those two things are, so I’ll take your word for it,” said Pinkie.
Celestia looked around and asked, “So where are we anyway? It looks like some bleak, desolate wasteland.”
“It’s my parents’ rock farm,” explained Pinkie. “So…pretty much.”
“They grow…rocks?” asked Celestia. “How the hell do you even do that?”
Hours passed as Pinkie told Celestia about the process of growing and harvesting rocks. She repeated what her father had told her and even parroted the descriptions of rocks her sister had described to her.
After three hours, Celestia raised a hoof and pressed it against Pinkie’s lips, silencing her. “Ok…I think I’ve got it, Pinkie.” She removed her hoof and asked, “Look, can you tell me something? Do you honestly like living here?”
“…Well,” began Pinkie, “I love my parents and my sisters. But this place…” she gestured around the barren landscape, “…It’s just so…boring.”
Celestia nodded, “I can see that. This place could use a party or two…or twenty.”
“Par…ty?” repeated Pinkie. “What is that?”
Celestia looked aghast. “You don’t know what a party is? How do you celebrate your birthday?”
“Oh, we have birthday studies,” explained Pinkie. “Usually about whatever rock our parents give to us. My parents really like rocks.”
Celestia looked stunned. Shaking her head, she leaned in close to Pinkie and whispered, “Can you keep a secret?”
“A secret?” asked Pinkie. “What is it?”
“You have to promise not to tell anyone about it,” said Celestia. “You know how important a promise is, right?”
“Uh-huh,” nodded Pinkie. “Limestone always tells me that losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend-”
“FOREVER!” screamed a voice from inside the Pie Family home.
Celestia turned towards the house and then back to Pinkie, a bemused expression on her face. “O…k…” she said slowly. She leaned in close and said, “I’m here on a mission.”
“What type of mission?” asked Pinkie.
“I cast a spell to take me to the saddest pony in all of Equestria,” said Celestia. She smiled and said, “And it led me right to you!”
Pinkie blinked. “…Hooray?” she said uncertainly.
Celestia’s horn glowed. There was a flash of light and a small glass orb appeared, floating in-between the two ponies. Red smoke swirled in the orb, moving almost hypnotically.
“Pinkamena,” said Celestia seriously. “This is chaos magic. It was drained from one of the most dangerous creatures in Equestria. It is unpredictable and unsafe…and I want to give it to you.”
“Me?” asked Pinkie. “Why?”
“Because you need it,” said Celestia. “I’m offering you a choice. You can refuse to take the magic and I’ll leave. You can stay here and live a normal life. Or you can take the magic and use for good. Use the magic to bring joy to yourself and others.” She looked down at Pinkie and said, “The choice is yours.”
Pinkie looked at the red clouds inside the orb. “Is…is it safe?” she asked, looking back up at Celestia.
Celestia paused for a second. “…No. No it is not. Chaos magic is…tricky. It could overwhelm you if you’re not meant to have it.”
“But you think I am meant to have it?” asked Pinkie.
“I hope so,” said Celestia, “But there’s no guarantee.” She paused and continued, “If you don’t want to do this, it’s fine. I can find someone a bit older…someone who-”
“I’ll do it,” said Pinkie.
Celestia blinked. “Are…are you sure? If something goes wrong-”
“I know,” said Pinkie. She smiled at Celestia and said, “This day has been the first in a long time that I’ve actually felt happy. If there’s a chance that I can share that happiness with others, then I want to take it.” She paused and said, “But…if something does go wrong…can you tell my family I love them?”
“…Alright,” said Celestia. She moved the orb closer to Pinkie.
“And tell Limestone I’ve been touching Holder’s Boulder every single day just to annoy her,” continued Pinkie. “Tell her I said ‘sorry’.” She reached out and touched the orb with her hoof.
The orb shattered the second Pinkie touched it. Before the pieces of glass even hit the ground, the red smoke shot towards Pinkie and seemed to seep into her body. Pinkie jerked as though she had been shocked and collapsed.
“Pinkamena!” said Celestia. She rushed to the fallen filly’s side and knelt down to examine her body. “Are you-”
“Oh…my…GOD!” shouted Pinkie, shooting back up. Her mane seemed to poof up even more as she excitedly bounced in place. “That was crazy! I touched the glass and then it was like ‘pssh’ and the smoke was like ‘whoosh’ and I was like ‘AHHHHHH’!”
“Um…Pinkie?” asked Celestia, staring at the filly. “Are you…okay?”
“Am I okay?!” asked Pinkie. “I’m better than okay! I feel great! I’ve never felt better!”
“Pinkie…” began Celestia.
“What do ponies usually do when they feel this happy?!” asked Pinkie excitedly. “Oh! Maybe we could have one of those ‘par-tees’ you were talking about? What do ponies have at those? I bet they have presents and dessert and games to play and-”
“PINKIE!” yelled Celestia, making the filly jump.
Pinkie turned to look at Celestia. A party hat was on the princess’s head and balloons were tied to her horn. Around her, as if they appeared by magic, were three tables laden with presents, desserts, party games, and sweets.
“Whoa!” said Pinkie, looking around. “Where did all of this come from?”
“From you,” said Celestia, using her magic to remove the balloons from her horn. As she tied them to the tables, she said, “The chaos magic inside of you reacted to your desires and made them a reality.” She gestured to the tables around them. “You wanted a party, so you got it.”
“Wow!” said Pinkie. “So, I can get anything I want? Whenever I want?”
“So long as it’s harmless or funny,” said Celestia. She pulled off her party hat and put it on one of the tables. “Chaos magic is a tricky thing. It works when you’re happy but it will fail you if you’re depressed or try to use it to harm anyone else.”
“How do you know?” asked Pinkie.
“You’re not the first one I’ve given this power to,” said Celestia. “There’s been a few ponies that have had this magic. A lot of them couldn’t handle it or tried to use it for their own selfish gain.”
“What happened to them?” asked Pinkie.
“I took the magic away from them,” said Celestia simply. She turned and looked Pinkie in the eye. “This magic is a special gift that I’m entrusting to you. If I think that you’re abusing it, I’m going to take it back.”
“Oh…” said Pinkie. She looked around at the tables and winced. “I…I guess I screwed up already, huh?”
Celestia raised her eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I wanted a party, so the magic gave me a party,” said Pinkie. “That’s selfish, right? Are…are you going to take it back?”
Celestia laughed and said, “Pinkie, I don’t think you understand what I meant. The ponies that I had to take the magic back from were trying to do things like take over Equestria. I’m not worried about you throwing parties with your magic.”
“You’re not?” asked Pinkie happily.
“Nope,” said Celestia. “I told you I wanted you to bring joy to yourself and others with this magic, right? I think a good way to start would be to use all this stuff to throw a party for you and your family. Can you do that?”
“You got it, Princess!” said Pinkie. “I won’t let you down. That’s a Pinkie Promise!”
“Good,” said Celestia. She smiled at Pinkie and said, “Go have fun with your family.” She looked around the farm and grimaced. “God knows this place could use a little excitement…”
“Aren’t you going to stay?” asked Pinkie.
Princess Celestia smiled as she shook her head. “I have to go back to Canterlot to meet my new student. Don’t worry, though. I’m sure you’ll throw a party for me one day.”
Pinkie smiled and said, “Count on it!” She rushed forward and nuzzled against the Princess’s legs. “Thanks for everything, Princess.”
Celestia smiled and gently patted Pinkie’s head. Her horn glowed as she backed away from the filly. There was a bright flash of light and, when it cleared, Celestia was gone.
Pinkie blinked the spots out of her eyes and looked back at the tables. “Ok…” she muttered to herself. “I better move all of this into the house to surprise everyone.” She moved towards the tables, but stopped. “I want to make everyone happy, but…what if I mess up? What if I can’t do what Princess Celestia wanted me to do?” She sighed and said, “I wish there was some way to know what I was supposed to do…”
There was a puff of smoke and a black binder fell to the ground in front of Pinkie.
“What is this?” she asked, picking the binder up. She looked at the cover and read, “MLP: FML – Season 1. A Fanfic by Maniac92.” She paused and reread the title. “…What the hell is a ‘fanfic’?”
In order to get answers, Pinkie opened the binder and began reading.
Now:
“And that is how I got my powers!” said Pinkie. She blinked and said sheepishly, “Well…I guess they’re your powers, but…”
“Fascinating,” said Discord, sounding bored. “It’s too bad Celestia entrusted them to a failure.”
“What?” asked Pinkie, opening her eyes. Discord was in front of her, idly flipping through the pages of her new script. “Hey!” shouted Pinkie. “Give that back!”
“All in good time, my dear,” said Discord, snapping his fingers. The script disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Discord’s hands empty. “I wanted to finish our little conversation first.”
“B-but…” began Pinkie. She sighed and said, “Fine. We can finish our…” She paused. “…Hey! Who are you calling a failure?!”
“Why…you, of course,” said Discord. “Tell me something, my dear. If you had a script detailing you and your friends’ little adventures, why did Nightmare Moon still return?”
“Oh…well…” said Pinkie. “We needed to get Princess Luna back and-”
“Uh-huh,” interrupted Discord. “And why did you ostracize Zecora with the others? You could have informed them that she was harmless.”
“I…uh…” began Pinkie.
“Why did you allow Rarity to make a fool of herself in front of Hoity Toity?” asked Discord.
“She-”
“Why did you allow Twilight Sparkle to injure herself when she was observing you?”
“I didn’t-”
“Why didn’t you stop Rarity from upstaging Rainbow Dash? Why haven’t you helped the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their endeavors? Why did you let Rarity get kidnapped by Diamond Dogs? Why did you let the buffalo and the settler ponies go to war with each other, or why didn’t you tell Fluttershy that Philomena was a phoenix, or why didn’t you tell Spike he wasn’t getting replaced?” continued Discord.
“Listen,” said Pinkie, “I can’t just-”
“Use your powers to help your friends?” supplied Discord. “How does that bring them joy?”
“Is there a point to this?!” asked Pinkie.
“I’m glad you asked!” said Discord, grinning. “You see, for all your bluster about your powers and doing what the Princess wanted you to do, deep down you know the truth. We both do.”
“What truth?” asked Pinkie. “What are you talking-”
“The truth is that we are performers,” said Discord. “Performers acting out a script written by a madman. Everything we do, everything we say, even this very conversation is happening because he wants it to happen.” Discord chuckled and said, “You all think I’m the bad guy here. Do you even know what he has in store for you? It’s not pretty. At all.”
Pinkie opened her mouth, but Discord quickly shushed her. “I know what you’re going to say,” said Discord. “You’re going to repeat yourself and ask me what my point is. And don’t bother denying it, because I read it in your script.” He smirked and said, “My point, my little pony, is this…”
Discord shot forward and grabbed Pinkie’s jaw, forcing her to look him in the eye.
“Everything about you is meaningless,” hissed Discord. “It doesn’t matter what you say. It doesn’t matter what you do. Your destiny has already been written for you. You’re getting led through your life with no control of where you end up. That’s why you can’t deviate from your script. That’s why you can’t help your friends when they need you. It’s because you know, deep in your heart, that you aren’t the real Pinkie Pie. You’re a facsimile, a parody designed to entertain. To spit out references and jokes in the hope that you’ll make people laugh. Well, I’m laughing. I’m laughing at you. You’re pathetic. You’re useless. Without your script, you can’t do anything at all.”
“You’re wrong,” said Pinkie, wincing as Discord’s grip tightened. “Me and my friends will stop you.”
“You might,” said Discord, letting Pinkie go, “But what good will it do you? Do you think your friends will understand that you met them only because your script told you to do so? What kind of friendship is that? They’ll leave you in the end, you know. Once they find out how useless you actually are, they’ll leave you.”
“Y-you’re wrong…” repeated Pinkie hesitantly. She gulped, her throat feeling very dry. “T-they wouldn’t-”
“And if you’re wrong?” asked Discord. “If your script says that you’ll all drift apart? What can you do to change it?”
“I…” said Pinkie. Her eyes burned and she blinked, feeling tears run down her face. “I don’t know…”
Discord smirked at Pinkie and said, “Well, I suppose I’ll be doing you a favor by holding onto your script then? You can try your hardest to keep your friends together and prove me wrong. Just don’t be too disappointed with the outcome, alright?” He snapped his fingers, disappearing with a puff of smoke.
Pinkie took a deep breath. “I’ll hold us all together…” she sniffed, “No matter what…”
Meanwhile:
Rarity panted as she trudged through the maze. “God, this is miserable…” she muttered. “Why can’t we ever defeat a creature in a five-star resort or solve some friendship problem by getting a massage?” She wiped sweat off her brow and waved her hoof in front of her face, trying to get air. “Hell, I’d kill to be at an outdoor café right now…”
She turned the corner and walked right into a lovely looking garden. Tables were set up all around the garden and very well-dressed ponies were sitting and chatting to each other. Waiters moved from table to table, refilling drinks and offering plates of gourmet food.
“...I don’t know why this is here…” said Rarity. A waiter came by and offered her a glass of champagne, which she carefully grabbed with her hoof. She looked at it and shrugged. “I’m not going to question it,” she finished. She took a sip from the glass, enjoying the cool, bubbly liquid. Once the glass was empty, she handed it back to the waiter.
“Pardon me, Madame,” said another waiter, bowing to her. “Are you Miss Rarity? The gentleman in the white suit has been expecting you.”
Rarity followed the waiter’s gaze and saw Discord giving her a toast from a table in the corner of the garden. He took a sip from his glass, taking care to avoid spilling a drop of the red liquid on his pristine white suit.
Rarity followed the waiter over to the table and Discord stood up from his seat. He walked to the opposite side of the table and pulled out Rarity’s chair. When she sat down, he pushed the chair back into place and walked back to his own seat. As he sat down, another waiter came by and set two bowls of salad down on the table.
Rarity started at the salad in front of her before looking up at Discord. “What is this?” she asked suspiciously.
“This,” said Discord, using a fork to spear some lettuce, “Is a light lunch, my dear. Running around all day has left me feeling rather puckish.”
Rarity blinked. “…Don’t you mean peckish?”
“That too,” said Discord, taking a bite of the lettuce.
“And that’s not what I meant,” said Rarity. She gestured around them. “What is all this?”
Discord swallowed and patted his mouth with his napkin. “I thought that a sophisticated mare like yourself would enjoy a change in scenery,” he said. He gestured down to his suit and said, “What do you think?”
“I don’t think white is your color,” said Rarity.
Discord nodded, “I think so too.” He snapped his fingers and orange color seemed to bleed onto the suit. Within moments, the suit was a dark orange. “What do you think?” asked Discord. An orange top hat appeared in the air above him. It dropped and landed perfectly on his head.
Rarity looked him over. “…I don’t normally like orange,” she said after a few moments, “But I think it suits you.”
“Thank you,” said Discord. He held out his empty glass and another waiter came by, refilling it with wine. The waiter walked over to Rarity and filled her glass as well. Bowing, he backed away from the table.
“Excellent service,” said Rarity casually. She raised her glass and took a sip of the wine.
“This is the type of treatment you get when you’re a big name like me,” said Discord. He chuckled and said, “You’ll find out. Your career will take you to great heights, my dear.” He took a sip of wine and said, “Now, why don’t you enjoy this excellent lunch? I know I will.” With that, Discord returned to eating.
Rarity looked down at her own salad. She shrugged and grabbed a fork. As she ate, she listened to what the ponies around her were saying.
“-must be Miss Rarity over there,” one mare was saying.
“The fashion designer?” asked the stallion opposite of her. “Hoity Toity and Sapphire Shores have been talking about her for months!”
“I can’t believe someone so famous would be here!” said a mare.
“She designed this very dress!” said another pony. “Isn’t this lovely?”
“It looks good on you, Steve,” said a stallion.
Rarity smiled with satisfaction. She raised her glass and took a sip of her wine.
“-completely ruined the Gala,” muttered another mare. “I swear, if she wasn’t the Princess’s student…”
“She embarrassed the Wonderbolts to no end,” said a stallion.
“That crazy pony with the wild animals…” muttered another.
“That’s nothing,” said his companion, “Let me tell you about this pink pony that ruined-”
“So she was selling apples,” laughed a mare. “Apples! Have you ever heard of anything so pathetic?”
Rarity frowned and put her glass down. “What are they talking about?” she muttered, glaring at the ponies around her.
“I believe they’re talking about your friends,” said Discord. He shrugged. “Can you blame them? They’re all embarrassing. They wouldn’t fit in with high society ponies.” He smirked at Rarity and said, “You’re much better off leaving them all behind. They’re holding you back.”
“You’re wrong,” said Rarity. “It doesn’t matter what my friends act like.”
“Not just your friends,” said Discord, nodding his head to the table next to them, where a mare was gossiping loudly.
“So this little filly wearing armor comes into the store with a battle axe! She was babbling on and on about conquering Equestria!” The mare laughed nastily. “What a stupid little brat, right?”
Rarity narrowed her eyes at the mare. She got up and marched over to the table. “Excuse me…dear,” hissed Rarity, barely managing to keep her tone civil, “But that’s my little sister you’re talking about.”
“It is?” gasped the mare. “I’m so sorry!”
Rarity exhaled and managed a small smile, “That’s quite alright,” she said, “I just-”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with such an embarrassment,” continued the mare. She gave Rarity a sympathetic gaze. “It must be hard trying to get by while having that burden.”
Rarity gave the other pony an icy glare. “For your information, I happen to love my little sister. I won’t tolerate you speaking ill of her or my friends.”
“Wait…” said the mare. She laughed loudly and said, “You mean those ponies we’ve been talking about are your friends? And you willingly admit it?” She threw her head back, howling with laughter. “Oh, this is too rich!”
The ponies around them joined in with the mare’s laughter and threw in their own comments.
“I can’t believe she’s friends with them!” chortled one stallion.
“How does she expect us to take her seriously with friends like that?” asked a mare.
“I’m never buying anything from her ever again!” said the stallion in the dress.
“I don’t think anyone will buy anything from her again,” said the stallion opposite from him, “Not when everyone knows about her friends.”
The comments and the laughter increased. Soon, they all blended together in a raucous, undecipherable noise. Rarity covered her ears with her hooves, trying to block the comments out. “STOP IT!” she yelled. “STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FRIENDS!” She shut her eyes, grimacing as the noise increased.
Suddenly, everything went silent. Rarity opened her eyes and saw that the café was empty save for Discord, who was still drinking his wine. Rarity uncovered her ears and muttered, “W-what? What just-?”
“Consider that a little preview if you insist on holding onto your friends,” said Discord, setting his glass down on the table. He stood up and brushed off his suit. “You can’t have them and your dream of becoming famous. Eventually, you’re going to have to choose what’s more important.”
“If it comes down to that, I’ll choose my friends every time,” said Rarity.
“Would you?” asked Discord. “How generous. I hope the company of your friends is enough to make you forget that you will have thrown away your dreams and that you’ll go through life as an anonymous nobody.” He tipped his hat to Rarity and bowed. “Au revoir, Miss Rarity.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Rarity looked around the empty café. “Giving up my dreams…” she muttered. She shook her head. “I’d gladly give up everything for my friends. Even if…it means being…miserable…” She stood still, lost in her thoughts.
Meanwhile:
Fluttershy sighed as she slowly walked through the maze. “I hope I see the others soon…” she muttered. Suddenly, she spotted a flash of white in the corner of her eye. She turned her head just in time to see a white rabbit disappear around the corner. “Angel?” questioned Fluttershy. She quickly ran after the rabbit.
After several minutes of chasing the white rabbit through the maze, Fluttershy ran into a large open area. “Angel?!” yelled Fluttershy, looking around. “Where did you go?!”
“Looking for something?” asked a familiar voice.
Fluttershy spun around. Discord was standing by the entrance to the clearing, looking amused. “You?” asked Fluttershy, her eyes going wide. She started backing up and said, “W-what did you do to Angel?”
“That little white rabbit?” asked Discord. “I didn’t do anything to him. He ran out of the maze, looking terrified. Something terrible must have been chasing after him.”
“Terrible?” repeated Fluttershy. “B-but…I was the only one chasing him.”
“Ah, that explains it,” said Discord. “In that case, I don’t blame him for running. Who knows what to expect with you?”
“What do you mean?” asked Fluttershy.
Discord sighed and said, “You seem to alternate between two mindsets: angry and timid. I’m sure Angel was worried that you’d either scream or whimper at him.”
“Why would he run away from that?” asked Fluttershy.
Discord shrugged. “He probably finds it annoying. I mean, your friends do.”
Fluttershy blinked. “…What?”
“Oh, you didn’t know?” asked Discord. “Just listen.”
Fluttershy could hear voices on the other side of the hedge. She walked over to the wall and listened.
“We need to find the others,” came Twilight’s voice.
“I couldn’t agree more, darling,” said Rarity’s voice. “I hope they’re alright.”
“Don’t worry,” said Twilight, “Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack can all take care of themselves. And we definitely don’t have to worry about Fluttershy.”
“Oh, I know!” laughed Rarity. “Honestly, I feel sorry for any monster that runs into her. I can’t believe you forced us to still be friends with her.”
“We need her for the Elements,” said Twilight. “We just have to put up with her until Celestia can find a suitable replacement.”
“Thank god for that,” said Rarity. “Honestly, I have to watch everything I say around her. You never know what might set her off.”
“She’s crazy,” agreed Twilight. “But we better find her. Come on…”
Fluttershy heard them walk away. She turned back to Discord and said shakily, “S-so what? I do have a temper. I-It’s not like all of them feel that way…right?”
“You are absolutely right, my dear,” said Discord. “In fact, Rainbow Dash is talking about you right now. I can hear her over there.” He gestured towards the other side of the clearing.
Fluttershy smiled as she walked over, “Rainbow and I have been friends for years,” she said to herself. “Way before you even heard of the Elements of Harmony. There’s no way she would-”
“God,” came Rainbow Dash’s voice as Fluttershy reached the hedge, “Fluttershy’s so useless.”
Fluttershy’s jaw dropped.
“She’s always so scared about losing friends because she was a bully in high school,” continued Rainbow, “So she tries to rein in her temper whenever she’s around us.”
“You call that reinin’ in her temper?” scoffed Applejack’s voice.
“I know. She sucks at it,” agreed Rainbow Dash. “She gets all quiet and mopey. It’s annoying.”
“Ah hear ya,” said Applejack. “Girl needs to grow a backbone.”
“Not to mention she’s so boring!” came Pinkie’s voice. “Maybe if she acted like she did when she was a bully, she’d be more interesting.”
“Maybe I can convince Twilight to give one of us Fluttershy’s Element,” said Rainbow. “We wouldn’t need to deal with her anymore.”
“Let’s go find her now,” said Applejack. “If she says ‘yes’, we can just leave Fluttershy here.”
Fluttershy heard them all walk away.
“N-no…” whimpered Fluttershy.
“Aw…I’m so sorry, Fluttershy,” said Discord. He patted her head sympathetically. “It looks like no one likes you. Your personality drove everyone away from you. Screw them. You’re better off just leaving this maze and going home. After all, it’s not like your friends actually want you here.” With a chuckle, Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Fluttershy stared at the ground. “He…he’s just trying to fool me,” she decided. “Discord probably just made it sound like my friends hated me with his magic. They don’t hate me…right?”
Meanwhile:
“Really?” asked Discord. “Is this really necessary?”
Discord had his arm outstretched, holding Rainbow Dash in the air by her tail. Rainbow was smacking his arm with her hooves, trying to get him to let go.
“Let me go!” yelled Rainbow. “I want to kick you so hard in the crotch your testicles will fly up and hit the roof of your mouth!”
“…Ok,” said Discord. “One, that’s not much incentive for me to let go. Two, I don’t think that’s physically possible. Three, ouch.” He shook his head and said, “I just want to talk to you. That’s it. Look, I’ll even give you your wings back.” He snapped his fingers and Rainbow’s wings reappeared on her body.
Rainbow Dash looked at her wings and gave them an experimental flap. She turned back to Discord and said, “You’ve got one minute. Explain.”
“Gladly,” said Discord, dropping her. “You know; I’ve always admired your particular Element. Loyalty.”
“So I’m loyal,” said Rainbow Dash, rolling her eyes. “So what? You’ve got 45 seconds left, by the way.”
“Yes, you are loyal…” said Discord. “But to what, I wonder? Your friends, your home, your libido?”
“All of the above, pal,” said Rainbow Dash. “25 seconds.”
“How is that loyalty repaid?” asked Discord.
“15 sec…” Rainbow Dash trailed off. “…What?”
“How is your loyalty repaid?” repeated Discord. “From what I can see, your friends treat you like an idiot who’s only good for spouting off jokes about sex.”
“…So what?” asked Rainbow.
“So,” began Discord, “I’m wondering if your friends are as loyal to you as you are to them. Would they understand if you couldn’t do what they wanted because of your loyalty to someone else? Or will they abandon you? When you need them most, will they be there for you?”
“Of…of course they would!” huffed Rainbow. “What kind of stupid question is that?”
Discord shrugged. “I just think it’s interesting that you’ve been telling them over and over again that you want to join the Wonderbolts. Then, when you finally got a chance to prove your worth, Rarity swooped in and stole your spotlight.”
“I already forgave her for that, asshole,” growled Rainbow. “Besides, it all worked out in the end.”
“You’re right,” agreed Discord. “But that happened a while ago, didn’t it? Let’s play a little game to see where your loyalty lies, shall we? We’ll see if your friends understand your actions.”
“I’m not interested in your games,” said Rainbow Dash. She turned and began walking away.
“Shame,” said Discord. “Well, I’m sure your father will be fine.”
Rainbow froze. She turned and glared at Discord. “What did you say about my dad?”
“Oh, it’s nothing really,” said Discord, waving his hand dismissively. “Only that he might be in a small bit of trouble with potentially lethal consequences.”
Rainbow’s eyes went wide. “Dad…”
“You have a choice, Rainbow Dash,” said Discord. “You have two options to show your loyalty. You can stay here and support your friends, or you can go and see your father in order to see if he’s in danger.” Discord smirked at the stunned look on Rainbow’s face. “Clock’s ticking.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Rainbow looked up at the sky and then back towards the maze. “What should I do?” she muttered to herself.
Meanwhile:
Twilight walked into the center of the maze. “Finally,” she muttered. She looked around, but saw no one else. “Where the hell is everybody?”
There was a puff of smoke and Discord suddenly appeared in front of her. “Congratulations, Twilight Sparkle! You’ve reached the end of the maze!” He held a microphone in front of her face. “How do you feel?”
“Annoyed,” answered Twilight, pushing the microphone out of her face. “Where are my friends?”
Discord looked up at the sky and smirked. “There goes one of them now.”
Twilight looked up and saw Rainbow speeding off into the distance. “Rainbow Dash?” asked Twilight. “Where is she going?”
“Looks like she had more important things to do,” said Discord, shrugging. He smirked and looked at something behind Twilight. “Speaking of ‘more important things to do’…”
Twilight looked behind her. Another Discord walked into the center of the maze, a confident smile on his face. “W-what is this?!” asked Twilight.
The other Discord chuckled as he walked over to the Discord in front of Twilight. “If there’s one thing I pride myself on, my dear, it’s that I am an excellent multitasker.” He turned to the other Discord and said, “It’s done.”
“Excellent!” said the first Discord, snapping his fingers. The other Discord disappeared, leaving him and Twilight alone again. He snapped his fingers again and Twilight’s horn reappeared on her head.
Twilight raised a hoof and touched her horn. “What’s going on?” she asked.
“You won the game, remember?” reminded Discord. “You reached the center of the maze, so I’m giving you and your friends their things back.”
Twilight glared at Discord. “So where are the Elements?”
Discord smirked and said, “Well now…I never said that they were here, did I? You just assumed.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “T-then what the fuck was the point of this?!” she spluttered.
“To distract you while my double did his job,” explained Discord.
“Which was?!” demanded Twilight.
Discord snapped his fingers and the hedges around them disappeared. The others appeared as the hedges hiding them from view disappeared. Soon, all of them were standing in a crater in the ground.
“Why…conquering Equestria, of course,” said Discord. He smiled viciously at Twilight. “Starting with Ponyville.”
“You…you what?!” asked Twilight.
“It was really the best time for it, you know,” continued Discord. “All of you, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and Equestria’s defenders, were busy playing games in a maze. That gave my double enough time to wander down to Ponyville and change it for the better.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide. “So…we…”
“Lost,” finished Discord. His smile grew bigger. “And I won. Equestria is mine.”
Meanwhile:
Rainbow Dash landed on the steps of a large cloud mansion. She raised her hoof and quickly pounded on the door.
The door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled-looking stallion with a rainbow mane. “Dashie?” he questioned. “What are you doing here? And how did make a knocking sound on cloud? Your hoof should’ve just went right through the door…”
“Dad!” said Rainbow, throwing her arms around him. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?!”
“What? I’m fine, kid,” said Rainbow Blaze, awkwardly patting his daughter’s back. “Why?”
Rainbow pulled away and said, “Because Discord told me…that…” She paused. After a couple of seconds, her eyes went wide and she turned back to look in the direction of Canterlot. “Oh…oh fuck me…”
“Uh…” said Blaze, unsure why his daughter suddenly looked guilty. “This might be a bad time, but do you have any spare bits? Your mom cleaned me out the last time we played poker together.” When Rainbow Dash didn’t respond, he cleared his throat. “So…is that a no?”