//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: Comedy // Story: A misunderstanding // by Element Reading //------------------------------// It has been a few hours, Anon was starting to wake up, he felt the nice soft silk sheets that were on his bed, the air smelled of trash/daisies thanks to his air freshener. As he sat up he noticed he was totally nude, "What! I had cloths on last time I checked." He heard a shuffle in his pile of trash, he reached for his dresser and pulled out a revolver he brought over, he cocked it and asked, "Who ever you are, walk out slowly, hands, or hooves in the air!" Out of a small pile came a guard, she was wearing the classic gold armor, her mane was dark blue with white stripes. Her eyes were ruby in color, and her fur were light blue (sorry to whoever owns a pony like that). In a voice much like Fluttershy, except a bit lower said, "D-don't sho-ot please." He lowered his gun and asked. "What are you doing here? And sorry about the gun, I'm used to something else." "It's all good sir, but when you were knocked out I was ordered to bring you in and, well take off those cloths before they get stained." "Okay I guess that makes since I am nude, but why don't I have any other cloths on, you're a unicorn." She started to blush, "Well, that is a bit embarrassing to talk about." "Try me?" She gulped a bit, "Well, you see, I saw your nice body and well, I, I helped myself. Don't worry I never got near you." They both had a bright red blush on their faces. "Well, you know I wouldn't mind if you did get on me.... so um, this is starting to get awkward." She stepped back a bit, "Um, should I go sir?" "N-not if you don't want to. I gotta get up, Shining Armor and Cadence will be here in like 30 minutes." The guard nodded, Anon threw off the covers and the rest is none of your business. 50 minutes later: Anon was walking towards the throne room, "Wow, that happened, she actually broke my cherry, awesome! I even got her address! EEEE, wait, I shouldn't say that out loud, that would be very weird." When he got to the doors, he took a deep breath in, and out, he opened the doors to see Celestia and Luna sitting on the throne while Shining Armor and Cadence were chatting with them. Now he took a few steps closer and started to wonder if he was dreaming, why? Because Celestia's fur was PINK! Yes pink, her mane and tail still the same, but the fur, I mean all the fur was bight pink. Anon started to snicker a bit, Celestia yelled, "Don't!" He fell on the floor laughing, he was even crying from laughter. Shining Armor gave in and fell on the floor next to him laughing, Celestia had a deadpan face. Luna started to snicker, though she calmed herself. Cadence got a bit ticked off because she IS pink, "Why is pink so funny Shining?" He stopped laughing and started to get scared. Anon replied. "Because pink is a funny color! Ha ha!" Her eye twitched, Cadence used her magic to drag Anon and Shining by the ears out of the throne room, Celestia and Luna could only hear them getting slapped. Now Celestia and Luna started to smirk. Cadence walked in, "I don't think they will laugh at you anymore." They followed her in and were rubbing their ears. WARNING, SPOILER, SKIP TO SPOILER END IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT Anon asked, "So, where is Flurry Heart? I thought she would be with you two?" Cadence replied. "Well, we just wanted to get away for a bit, have dinner here maybe?" Spoiler end Anon replies, "That- ow, sounds great, ow." He says rubbing his ear, Celestia says. "I think dinner is a great idea." Celestia and Luna get up and start to walk out. They make it to the door, Cadence asked, "Shining, Anon, why aren't you following us?" Anon replies, "Well, we gotta talk a bit, about military stuff." "Oh okay, don't be to long." The princesses walk out and they hear the door close, they start to laugh, Anon says, "PINK FUR AHHAHHAHAAH!" They were on the floor laughing their asses off. 5 hours later: Everypony has ate, Celestia had almost nothing while the rest had giant salads which Anon hated with all of his being. Though he didn't resist eating them because he didn't wanna be an asshole in front of everypony. After none of them had dessert Shining Armor and Cadence decided to return to the crystal empire and promised Celestia that they could. WARNING, SPOILER, SKIP TO SPOILER END IF YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT See little Flurry Heart. Spoiler end Anon almost ran towards the bar to go drink with the two guards he met in a previous chapter, Swordsworth and Jeff, right? I think so. Anyway while he did that Celestia decided to talk with Discord a bit about the press trap. Luna on the other hand decided to go fly a bit, it always cleared her head before she goes to bed. Now Anon was under 3 shots of Equestrian beer which is basically half of a normal beer, the guards were buzzed while he was almost totally sober. Unlike us, Equestrians like to make their beer taste like candy, instead of more alcohol. They were sitting at the bar, Swordsworth finished, "So after this guys saw a stallion and a mare doing it in the showers he jizzed and ran off!" Anon and Swordsworth were laughing while Jeff gave a nervous chuckle. Jeff replied, "Okay if you thought THAT was embarrassing then wait until I tell you this." Anon started to lean up while Sword asked, "This sin't the story I think it is, is it?" "Yup, it is." "Alright just get it over with. Like a band aid." Jeff grins. "I peel them off slowly. Here it goes, we were on duty at the time, it was about noon and it was starting to get really hot, especially when you are wearing gold armor. He asks me if we should go to the ice cream parlor a couple blocks away and get some, just something small. I of course replied we should, while we were walking there he saw a beautiful unicorn, she is known as Fleur de lis, a model." Anon interjects, "This is gonna be funny I just know it! Keep talking." "Well, I nudge him to go talk to her, after a couple seconds he obeys and goes to talk with her, after a minute of waiting he walks back with a proud face of somepony who knows he will get laid. He shows me a piece of paper, I couldn't believe it, I asked his to show it to me. He gave it to me and it said, and I quote. Sorry, you aren't my type, I prefer stallions with some charm." They started to laugh while Sword took a drink of his beer. "So Anon, got anymore good stories for us?" Asked Jeff. "What kind? I got them all." "What about your first battle Sgt Anon." He drank the rest of his beer. "I'll take the strongest stuff you got Daff." Daff, the bar tender slides him a small glass of dragon breath, the strongest ale in there. He takes a big ol drink, he slams the glass down and says, "Wow! That is almost as strong as a glass of tequila, another one Daff." Another one slides down. "Did you go to battle Anon?" Asked Jeff. Anon replies, "I did, and it is something I don't think the guard is ready to hear." He gulps down his latest glass. Sword asks, "Why do you think we can't take it?" "Because you all think the changelings were shocking, that doesn't scratch the art of war on Earth. Humans live, breath, even eat war, we thrive of hate and destruction. People are generally nice, though when it comes down to life or death you will do anything. I am still haunted by the memories of what happened, the number of brave men and women that died. It does stuff to you. I just gotta ask, are you two sure you are ready for real war, not the stuff here?" They had to think about it for a second, Sword said, "We are." Anon took a swig of dragon breath. "You really think I will tell you two about what I saw on the front?! No, no, no, trust me, it's not at all funny. Nor will ether of you would think I am the good man I am today. How about the funny/sad story on how I broke my cherry? Happened earlier today." They nodded.