by neorenamon
"Why?!" she screamed back at Pinkie, "You have to ask why?!"
"Obviously!"
"Very well," she smirked as she perched a brown fedora on her head, "Time to monologue."
Pinkie nodded.
"You're a tad dense at times," she began, "so I'll just spit it out. I'm a mirror clone of you. One who didn't want to be happy!"
"Uhuh."
"In fact, the first thought I ever had was KILL GILDA!!"
"But the others?!" she pleaded, "Why kill all the others?!"
"Practice for the day I killed Gilda!" she yelled, "They were all so happy that they deserved to die anyways!"
"Huh?" asked Pinkie as she cocked her head.
"Idiot! I want everyone to be as unhappy and suffer like ME!"
"But you killed your friends too!" cried the real Pinkie.
"They were never MY friends!" she screamed back, "Now will the real Pinkie Pie please sit down!"
She sat down in the chair across from Twilight's body.
"Now where was I?"
"You were giving me the whole 'Why I am so evil speech'," replied the real Pinkie evenly.
"Oh right. While the rest of the clones ran around causing havoc, I ran away to the forest to plot my revenge!" gloated the evil mirror Pinkie, "I took the persona of the Midnight Stranger to help cover my trail and deter those from coming close to my lair."
"How's a bear..."
"SHUT UP!" she yelled, "I'M NOT DONE YET!"
"Oki doki loki."
"Wow. That really gets old after a while," she growled.
"I yam what I yam," she replied happily.
"The breaking the fourth wall jokes are even worse!"
"Ack-ack-ack-ack..."
"STOP IT!" she yelled, "Now before I was interrupted, I was going to tell you how I sent a fake letter to Gilda to lure her in here on the premise that Rainbow Dash was going to apologize to her. To say she was sorry for how her friends treated her back in her last visit. I had a feeling Gilda wouldn't turn it down. I was planning to make her suffer. To torture her. But then you meddling fillies showed up."
"Sheesh," groaned Pinkie, "Tough audience. We figured out what was going on and came here shortly after Gilda arrived, I take it? So you're going to kill me and take my place to do something evil back in Ponyville... Something like killing more ponies to put into baked goods!!"
"What?! That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard in my life! It's right up there with the notion that pegasus murder their flight school failures to make rainbows!"
"Now that I think about it," she replied, "That was really a stupid thing of me to say." She then laughed a while. "C'mon," giggled Pinkie, "You can laugh too!"
"Laughter is not my thing sis," she said darkly, "KILLING IS! Time to continue this NIGHTMARE!"
"Oh," replied the real Pinkie as she calmed down, "Is it time for me to die?"
"YES!" replied the Pinkamena as she lunged in with her claws. But she only got a shallow cut across her victim's shoulder as she dove from the chair. She scrambled out the door as the murderous clone ran after. Slash after slash followed as she clipped off pieces of the pink tail before her. She ran into a room without an exit and pushed back into the wall as far as she could. Confidently, she walked in glaring at her victim. Pinkie looked terrified as the real monster drew closer.
She pulled the silver fork from her mane.
"Is that... supposed to scare me?!"
Then Pinkie began to laugh.
"What's so funny?!" hissed the mirror clone.
She looks aside and whispers, "I know what I'm about to say is totally going to be out of character for me..."
"WHO THE HAY ARE YOU TALKING TO?!"
"Nopony!" she blurt out as she reached up for a cord with the fork and hooked it with the tines.
Following the cord, she look to where it split over her head. Then followed it down. Looking on both sides, she saw both Pinkie's party cannon and the multibarrel gun both pointing right at her. The cord was set to both of the triggers/fuses.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!!" yelled Pinkie as she pulled the cord to fire both guns.
[~fin~]
PS: Okay. Not quite. Pinkie returned to Ponyville to explain what happened when Celestia came to hear everything, except of course she blamed Twilight for the death of the mirror clone. She claimed that Twilight set up the trap while she was knocked out and had no idea that the mirror clone had killed Twilight while she was unconscious in the kitchen. She even had the lump on her head to prove it. Nopony wanted to admit that Pinkie was capable of killing, so no one questioned her or even investigated all that hard. Now Celestia had the task of finding five new fillies with attitude to become the New Elements of Harmony Rangers. (cough)