//------------------------------//
// Session 14 
// Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) 
// by Alex Warlorn 
//------------------------------//



Session 14.0 Kendell2 


"Pardon, but WHAT did this rattlesnake do again?" Applejack asked, the group presently on the final portion of the East Blue section of the pirate manega RPG. Applejack and Pinkie had both originally wanted to be the crew's cook, but there could be only one. So Pinkie decided to be the crew musician and Applejack the cook. Applejack was informed cooks in this universe generally take not using their front hooves in combat (so as not to risk damaging them), something she was quite fine with given her apple bucking nature. Pinkie had chosen to make her weapon of choice a base violin reinforced to serve as a melee weapon. The nature of the game didn't argue with that.

"He called the marines to confiscate her money when she was almost at her goal to buy the town from him and free it from his tyranny," Twilight explained.

"I've seen the Manega and that STILL makes me mad," Rainbow stated, being the ship's swordsman. Being she'd actually SEEN the manega, she knew a lot of things to use. And that challenging and making yourself the Worthy Opponent of the world's strongest swordsman when he showed up would be a benefit in the long run (even if she also knew full well that'd be a Hopeless Boss Fight and meant she was still injured for this part). "Jerk deserved getting super ax kicked all the way through his base..."

"My character tells the villain," Rarity said, having had the strange desire to be a Mermaid...then finding out those didn't have legs until a certain age and generally weren't pirates, chose to be a Koi Fishpony (despite nearly all Fishponies appearing in canon being male, the creator HAD confirmed females existed and merfolk also had males, the races merely being very similar to one another), which being Rarity she managed to make quite beautiful. "That while she plans to let the ponies on the crew shut his sharktoothed jaw, she considers him a disgrace to Fishponies and part of the problem with the racism towards our kind, so she will gladly help kick his tailfin...and also his tropical shirt is tacky!"

"He can't comprehend why you'd choose to side with the 'inferior species," Twilight replied. "But your actions DO seem to get him a bit angry."

"Um...I tell him he's a big dumb meanie and I won't stand for this!" Fluttershy said. "Um...if you don't mind..."

She was the team doctor, and had gotten the lucky roll to be a Fruit user. In her case, a Zoan based off a rabbit was her choice. Being an animal expert came very much in handy for that and knowing what Rabbits can really do. The game allowed them to make up Devil Fruit so long as they made sure to balance them properly.

This was when the group noticed Starlight looking VERY clopped off. Starlight hadn't WANTED to be Captain (so it'd ended up going to Trixie, who everypony agreed could do hotblooded hero the best), but decided 'Archaeologist' would be the best fit for her, given her knowledge ability. She hadn't wanted a fruit ability, so Trixie got the last one (only two were allowed to start) and Starlight was a 'badflank normal'.

"So, this guy thinks that he's INHERENTLY better than others...and uses that as an excuse to lord over them like a king...and views even the one he RESPECTED as nothing more than a PET?!" Starlight said. "We're kicking his flank! I don't care what the captain says, we are KICKING HIS FLANK!"

"Oh, right, Starlight hates people acting like they're inherently better than others..." Twilight muttered. "Trixie?"

Trixie tilted her hat and gave a smirk. She'd decided that if she got a Devil Fruit, it was going to be big and loud. While the Logias (the Elemental embodiment type) weren't available in the early stages, she had been able to figure out a way to get a Show Magic based one, which she knew VERY well how to use. "Trixie says we kick his flanks and show him what 'mere ponies can do, shall we?" 

Session 14.1 Mooncalf99 (with edits) 


"Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight paused in midstep and turned her head, smiling as she saw Princess Luna approach. She didn't actually see Luna that much during her Canterlot visits due to the latter being asleep or busy with her own royal duties, many of which were radically different from Celestia's. So it was a welcome pleasure to have a chance to talk. "Princess Luna! How are you?"

"We... I mean, I am just fine, good Twilight," Luna said. "However, I wish to have words regarding a most bemusing incident."

"Okay?" Twilight asked in anticipation.

"I spoke earlier with Discord regarding a most jocular soundbite dear Pipsqueak sent me," Luna said. "He was less than amused and his retort was for most part not fit for polite conversation. But he did say something curious. He referred to me as 'Agent L', and when I asked for an explanation, he said that you would know. May you please enlighten me regarding this appellation?"

"Oh... that." Twilight sighed. "It's from one of my campaigns, the one where a bunch of teenaged aliens come to Equestria to study and learn about friendship."

"And get into crazy hijinks, yes," Luna said. "I believe I've heard of this game. And your friends have been having the most whimsical dreams as a result."

"Really?" Twilight asked. "I guess I could see that happening... anyway, I needed a secret government organization who could aid or oppose the players depending on my whim, and Spike and I came up with 'The Mares in Black'. Then Spike suggested that you should run the operation, since you're, in his words, 'the original Mare in Black', and it was more interesting than using a made-up NPC. Sorry, I've been meaning to tell you--"

"Sorry? For what?" Luna asked in amused surprise. "I am deeply flattered that you would find me so intriguing as to give me a minor role. You have my blessing to play the role as you see fit." A thought struck her. "Is my sister fulfilling a role as well?"

"No... I haven't needed her for one yet. Although I guess it would be nice to make something up..." Twilight mused.

"Mayhap she's running the school for aliens and ponies, as a diplomatic endeavor," Luna suggested. "And because her plans may go against my and my organization's plans, we're occasionally struggling and working at cross-purposes behind the scenes, with your players caught in the crossfire?"

Twilight's eyes widened. "That's brilliant! Oh, that's a great idea, I could... and then... I need to write this down. Notebook, where's my notebook?" Luna stifled a laugh as Twilight ran off in search of writing material, completely forgetting the conversation they were having.


Luna looked around herself furtively, then trotted up to a pegasus maid busily dusting a decorative urn. "Fair Feather Duster, we would speak with thee."

Feather Duster stopped what she was doing and turned, giving her princess a dutiful curtsey. "Your Highness. What may I do for you?"

Luna's horn glowed briefly, and she nodded with satisfaction. "It was a false alarm, F. Just a coincidence. The organization has not been compromised. We are not in danger."

"Thank goodness," Feather Duster said. "I'll inform Central Command immediately, have them release the lockdown and call off the safety procedures. Good work, L. It was a close one."

Luna nodded. "It's always a close one around here, F."

OOC: "The preceding scene may or may not be 100% canon. We leave it as an exercise to the reader to decide."

Session 14.2 BrutalityInc


“Err… Shiny, you know that this is a superheroes roleplaying game, right?” Twilight asked Shining cautiously.

“Well, yeah, of course I know that.” Shining Armor answered, confused.

“Well, please don’t take it the wrong way, but it’s just that I can’t help but noticed your character is so… underpowered?” Twilight questioned.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it ‘underpowered’…” Shining Armor said, “He’s a unicorn who was a member of the Special Forces in the Army, is trained in various forms of close-quarter combat, is an expert marks-stallion versatile in all varieties of military weapons, is an able strategist, and is a decorated combat veteran with three tours of duty and many medals. He only became the masked vigilante Blue Guard and begin a war on crime, whether normal or supernormal, after he lost his wife and children, when they were sent through a one-way magical portal into unknown parallel universe along with many others as collateral of a fight between an evil sorcerer and another group of superheroes.”

“Yes, we know that, darling, but what I think Twilight mean is, other than these attributes and backstory, your character is, for all intents and purposes, an ordinary pony. Armed with some special equipment and weapons, maybe, but otherwise completely ordinary." Rarity noted, vouching for Twilight, “Whereas everypony else’s characters are meta-equine ponies with all kinds of superpowers and enhancements.”

“Oh, I see where you are going there.” Shining Armor realized, “Well, I wanted to stand out and give myself an extra challenge. You think that my character might not be able to keep up with the others?”

“Well, yeah! I mean, your guy can probably take on the likes of Phony Pharaoh from the Power Ponies comic, but how well do you think that Blue Guard would had held up if he ever faced the likes of Mane-iac? If Maretropolis’ entire police force couldn’t stop her, how could one ordinary pony without superpowers?”

“Well, it’s not as if heroes with superpowers can prevail in every single situation; the only reason why the Wonderful Five, for all their powers, has EVER been able to stop the world-consuming Galactose from draining Equus of its energy was because they cheated.” Trixie noted, “Like by stealing the Ultimate Obliterator and threatening to use it on him, or fighting him when he was severely weakened by another supervillain or malicious cosmic power. It’s all fun and good when superheroes prevail against overwhelming odds, but any reasonable comic fan would concede that if Spider-Mare fought a giant ancient nigh-omnipotent space-god like Galactose head-on, Spider-Mare will be swatted like a bug, every single time.”

“In any case, don’t worry about it.” Shining Armor, “There are ways I can make Blue Guard pull his weight in the team.”

= = =

Dice rolled, and Spike saw the results. “8. Lightning Mare’s thunderbolt attack hits Doctor Mekadecapod’s Giant Crab Robot dead-on, but his robot is has level 2 energy attack resistance, which subtracts 4 points from your dice roll.”

“Aw, nuts!” Rainbow Dash groaned.

“‘Haha, you fools!’ Cackled Doctor Mekadecapod, ‘Any evil mad scientist worth their salt knows to harden their machinery against any forms of electromagnetic disturbances, let alone all your feeble superpowers!’. He pilots his Giant Crab Robot’s claws to try and cleave you all in two!”

“Cornsarnit! That robot tanked everything we threw at him!” Applejack grumbled, “How are we suppose tah stop that thing from leveling the city?”

“Question!” Shining Armor suddenly asked, “Is the mad doctor piloting his mecha from the inside, or does his pilot seat have a glass canopy?”

There was a momentary pause at the table as the other ponies digested the question.

“Wait, how does that - ?” Rainbow began to ask, but was interrupted by Spike’s response.

“To my knowledge, no; his crab robot doesn’t have a canopy, and nowhere does it says that he’s piloting from INSIDE the mech.” Spike said as he read through the adventure module guide, “The book only said that he’s piloting a giant crab robot, but doesn’t go into specifics on how it looks like, how it works or how it is piloted. I guess… you can assume he’s piloting from an open-air seat on top surrounded by reinforced display panels?

“Right then.” Shining Armor cracked his neck, before declaring, “Blue Guard goes up a few floors of an evacuated building, throws a tear-gas canister into the cockpit, and then jumps in wearing his gasmask and knock him out with a choke-hold.”

“What do you do?!” Rainbow Dash said, gobsmacked at the sheer audacity of Shining’s play.

“Besides being very expedient, you mean?” Trixie said, smirking with amusement at Shining’s direction. “I must admit I am impressed, sir. That is pretty clever!”

“It only works because he wasn’t protected. If he was, the next best thing I could think of is wiring the building to blow and collapse right on top of it.” Shining commented with a shrug, “Then again, I’m not surprised he wasn’t; in the comics, you always see superheroes fighting villains in giant robots in epic multi-issue battles, and nine times out of ten, the villains are shown to be operating in an open or exposed cockpit. I know they want to show the villains expressions or something like that, but has it ever occurred to the writers that villains control their robots from the top, with only glass or even nothing at all covering their exposed pilot seat, is a VERY BAD IDEA? Nor has it ever occur to the superheroes that all they had to do to disable giant robots quickly is to hit them at their very exposed villain pilot from the start?”

“Yes, but where’s the fun in that if there’s no epic battle against a giant robot?” Rainbow Dash admonished.

"But it'll save the cities a lot of collateral damage!"

“Need I remind you that you haven’t rolled your dice yet?” Spike the GM interjected.

“Sorry…” Shining Armor said as he rolled his dice, “So, roll for dexterity and skill check? I think my ‘Athletic Prowess’, ‘Martial Arts Skills and ‘Specialist Training’ perks and multiplier traits are more than enough to carry me through…”

Indeed it was. Needless to say, Doctor Mekadecapod was neutralized and the day was saved.

Session 14.3 MtangaLion 


"Wait... wait, wait," said Rainbow Dash. "You're living in a cave?" She, Twilight Sparkle, and Windy Whisper were sitting around the gaming table in one of Twilight's second floor study lounges. Crystal lamps lit the room with a cool, soft glow. It was just after sunset, late for Rainbow and Twilight, while Windy was up early.

"Um... yes?" Windy spread her bat wings, twitching them for emphasis. 

Rainbow seemed doubtful. "But what about all that stuff you said, about stereotypes?"

Windy shrugged. "Thestrals like caves. They're dark in the daytime and far away from noisy sun-loving ponies. Where do *you* live, Dash?"

"In a cloud... ohhh." Dash grinned. "That makes sense."

"How does that make sense?" Twilight objected. "That's like unicorns preferring to live on mountains. Just pointless leftover instincts... we're not living in the time of the three tribes any more."

Rainbow scratched her mane with a hoof. "So, where do Alicorns instinctively want to live?"

Princess Luna made her way into the study. "In royal castles, it would seem, but as Twilight would say, the sample size is regrettably low. Hail and welcome, friends! I apologize for my lateness."

"Not a problem," said Twilight brightly. "You know Rainbow Dash, of course, and this is..."

"Young Windy Whisper," interrupted Luna, with unexpected warmth. "We are pleased to find you well and settling into your new home, and we have high hopes for your future endeavors, whether they be in the vein of the old..." She winked. "Or entirely new. Now, shall we begin?"

Luna lit her horn and conjured three gaming boards with full sets of pieces, setting each one between Twilight and another player. "I shall play black. Your move, Twilight."

Twilight moved her first piece at once. "Heh, as expected!"

Windy rubbed her eyes and looked again. "Ogrechess, huh? That really takes me back. Wait, we're all going to play against... her?"

Twilight blushed a bit. "Yep."

She hesitated, then made an opening move of her own. "Is this safe? I heard..."

"I'm fine!" snapped Twilight, a little too quickly. Her horn was lit... she was continuing her game against Luna with only the briefest of glances at that board. "I will be fine... This is therapy for me. I'm supposed to get it all out my system..." Twilight leaned across the table, lowering her voice. "They think that if I play everypony in town, somepony will eventually turn up who can beat me, but the odds of that are infinitesimal. Hah!" 

Rainbow blinked, still processing something. "Windy... You *do* know Princess Luna personally!"

"Yes, but you shouldn't have just assumed!" Windy turned her nose up.

Rainbow jabbed a hoof towards her. "Future endeavors, huh? Just you wait. I'm gonna find out what your cutie mark is for, and when I do..."

"I'm a writer."

Rainbow's jaw hit the table. "Bwuh... you can't just... Ugh! So, what kinda stuff do you write?"

Windy appeared to think it over. "Nope. You have to level your Windy Whisper reputation from Acquaintance to Good Friend before you can be trusted with that information."

"You," growled Rainbow, "are such a troll." She slammed her hoof down next to her game board. "Okay, Twilight... Your game with me is SPEED Ogrechess. Hope you can keep up!"

Rainbow moved a piece, and Twilight moved another, and they started going back and forth, pieces clicking in rapid succession. Twilight kept playing against Luna and Windy too, not missing a beat, but her eyebrows kept rising. "Dash, are you even thinking about your moves?" It dawned on her that Rainbow wasn't sitting in her chair... the pegasus was hovering a few inches above it, beating her wings slowly.

Click, click... click, click... "You're the Ogrechess master," said Rainbow slyly. She drifted over and nudged Twilight's side, crooning right into her ear. "You tell me, Princess..."

"You're taking advantage of your superior aerial awareness, aren't you!?" said Twilight, getting all flustered. "And now you're trying to distract me by getting all flirty!"

"Huh? Oh... yeah! That's it. Totally..." Rainbow waved a hoof lazily. "You win, next game." Twilight obligingly levitated every piece back to its starting spot all at once, and they were off and running again, while Windy was still puzzling her way through the opening moves of her own game.

And then Luna set a Diamond Dog piece down with authority. "Checkmate, Twilight. Twas an excellent game."

Twilight froze, hair twitching out of place. "What."

"You played with commendable skill for being so distracted. Perhaps I might even challenge you to a private game later."

Twilight lunged, staring at Luna's board. "What."



Far across town, Applejack was hauling a full wagon loaded with apples back to the barn. Twilight's Friendship Castle loomed on the horizon.

"WHAT!!!!?????"

The hurricane force gust blew AJ's hat clean off. "Sounds like the therapy ain't goin' so well."

"Eeeyup," said Granny Smith, rocking on the porch.

Session 14.4 Ardashir 


"Fluttershy, I mean 'Crescent Moon'," Twilight looked at Fluttershy's character art of a Saddle Arabian mare covered mane to hoof in barding, "do you really need to add more defense to your power armor?"

"You're right." Fluttershy nodded. "I'd better add that stun ray, I don't want to hurt anypony after all."

Raimbow Dash groaned beside her.

"Geeze, Fluttershy, we're fighting Hive Queen! Remember? The Chrysalis rip-off -- I mean, the power-hungry unicorn mare who got infected with those alien spores and now can turn ponies into mindslaves in her hive? And the BIGGER her 'swarm' gets, the more powerful SHE gets?"

"You're quite right," Fluttershy checked the 'Superpowers Database' book."I'd better make that a stun ray and those glue bombs so I can stop those poor mind-controlled ponies without hurting any of them."

Rainbow Dash groaned and face hoofed.


Session 14.5 Alex Warlorn 


"An adventure based on Last Fantasy First?" Spike asked. "This outta be good. I think we even still have the old machine and cartridge buried at Mr. and Mrs. Sparkles' house somewhere."

"Yes." Princess Twilight smiled and nodded behind the DM screen. Then thought to herself. 'Before every game in the series climaxed with you killing a shoddily done parody of Celestia.' 

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "I've played video games, but those computer RPGs were always a snore for me, all those stats to keep track off, and ALL-THAT-GRINDING, just to level up or find that one item that drops one-in-a-hundred-thousand! I've got a LIFE outside of games." 

"Ah didn't have the time to waste," Applejack said. 

"Mom and dad didn't believe in them," Pinkie Pie said. 

"I couldn't enjoy how you had to kill everything that moved," Fluttershy admitted. 

"I never actually got very far in it." Rarity said.

"WHAT?! YOU played video games?" Rainbow gasped.

"It's just distraction dear. I didn't play to win really, I just found the action of 'grinding' to be a nice distraction at times. Helps clear the mind." 

Starlight Glimmer smiled and nodded. "I actually beat Last Fantasy First quite a few times. First with a party completely of Warriors, then one completely of White Mages, then one completely of Ninjas, then one completely of Monks, and then-"

Rainbow Dash let out a cry of frustration. "I get it already! Does everything have to be the same with you?"

".... It's just how I like things. If I'm not forcing my beliefs on others, don't I have a right to express them?"

"I LIVE to be a Wonderbolt! But even I don't bring them up in, EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION! It's always 'equality this' and 'equality that'!" Rainbow snapped, running her hooves against her head like she had a migraine. 

"Discord is 'chaos this' and 'chaos that' and you don't complain about him!" Glimmer defended.

"At least Discord is FUNNY!" Rainbow Dash exasperated.

Tears welled up in Glimmer's eyes, and she ran away crying.

The others looked at Rainbow. "Uh, oops?"

"Rainbow dear, do you remember those lesson about tact?" Rarity said, her voice oozing with politeness. 

"Uh, maybe she's Chrysalis in disguise and she's turning you all against me in a elaborate plot to conquer Equestria?" Rainbow Dash suggested sheepishly. 

"I'll make sure she's alright," Twilight sighed, leaving the others with Rainbow Dash. 

Twilight found Starlight Glimmer in her room, Twilight had given it to Glimmer when Twilight'd chosen to take on Glimmer as her own student (Twilight didn't bring it up at any game Trixie was a part of after the death glares from Trixie got to be too much). 

Starlight Glimmer was underneath her bed sheets, her horn glowing. 

"I declare this to be New Our Town, where nopony's feelings are ever hurt, where nopony is better than anypony else," said a glum voice underneath. "Population, me." 

"...Do I need to give up my cutie mark to join?"

"No. But we're not accepting new residents at this time." Glimmer said under the blanket.

Twilight sat down in front of the bed.

"Glimmer... how about we play a little role playing game, no dice, just our imaginations... "

"..."

"... Well. A unicorn walks into New Our Town, what does she see?"

"... She sees a ghost town, nearly all the houses are empty, wind blows dust over everything. Signs flap in the wind. Houses are boarded up. Others look like they've been smashed open and hollowed out."

"... Well, you said 'nearly' all the houses are empty... is the house at the very occupied?"

"You don't know. It looks as decayed as the others. You see a sign on the edge of the town reading 'Welcome to New Our Town' below it is a message that read 'Ponies Who Believe In Equality' it has a good sized, happy number that's crossed out, and has a '1' instead."

Twilight's eyes widened, and realization hit her. One that should have hit her a lot sooner. "... You weren't just angry at having your perfect world destroyed... you... You felt abandoned by ... " Her eyes widened more. "By your friends."

"... I thought we all believed in equality, I thought we all believed in a world where nopony was better than anypony else... but the moment their belief was tested... every... " Glimmer was sobbing. "EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM LEFT ME! All that time together meant nothing! All we'd done together meant nothing! We meant nothing!"

Twilight decided mentioning that Glimmer had tried to vaporize her friends after they'd told that she'd never given them a chance to see if they could be friends WITH their cutie marks, was NOT a good idea.

"I remember... when Discord did the same to me... he turned my friends into strangers I didn't even recognize... he broke me... he broke my beliefs... I ... I hated him."

"... My home DIED that day... everything that... heh-heh... AHHAHAHAHAHHH!" Starlight gave a slightly demented laugh. "Everything that made it -special- to me was destroyed! Everything familiar about it was gone! I didn't even recognize my own town when you took me back there! It-it, hehehe!" Her laughs were not joyous ones. "It became just like any other town!" 

Twilight cringed as Starlight wrapped herself up tighter in the blanket. 

"Starlight... it's the ponies' that live in a town that make it special... Cloudsdale isn't the same as Ponyville... Ponyville isn't the same as Dodge Junction."

"Everything that made it my home disappeared... you know... I was looking forward to the day that everypony in Equestria gave up their cutie mark. And I could finally remove mine for real! I could finally be free of it!"

"But... but when the others told you that you had to logically give up yours-"

"If I had a way to remove cutie marks without it, I would have. They... they couldn't see... You..." Starlight's voice quivered with shock. "You all thought I just wanted everypony to give up their cutie mark so I could lord over them with mine!?" Now Starlight sounded genuinely angry. 

"..." Twilight nodded sadly. "Rainbow Dash and Applejack did... " Twilight thought of mentioning how Fluttershy hadn't thought that, but while it had been to save her friends, Twilight knew that Glimmer still had trust issues with Fluttershy... after all, if she was willing to lie to her and betray her for the sake of her friends once... why not again? "But not all of us... after I told everypony what happened... I'll admit, some of them were shocked to learn you really did believe what you were saying . . . " Another realization hit Twilight. "After we got home... we... we did act out ourselves a little... over the top for a while... I think we were scared that we'd permanently lost part of ourselves." 

"... I guess that's one way Discord and I are both idiots... Maybe if I showed the misery a bunch of insanely individualistic ponies could cause... maybe ponies would have been more open to listening. Maybe if Discord showed off my town, he'd have ponies wanting his chaos."

"... Discord was never interested in ponies' wanting to 'embrace' his chaos. He didn't CARE how he hurt ponies... in fact, often ponies getting hurt and him laughing about it was the point . . . " Twilight circled back to her previous point. "You've... you've been SCARED haven't you? You're afraid that you're going to become a stranger, that you're going to turn into a pony that isn't even you anymore." 

"... that's why you fought so hard against me in Our Town?"

"Yes."

"Then you know why I've been so intense too... what happens when..." She gave a sad broken laugh again. "What happens when somepony with enough authority says that for the good of the community, what I believe in has to 'step aside?' And I just smile and nod in response?" She shivered. Princess Twilight KNEW the irony was NOT lost on Glimmer. 

Twilight hugged her through the blanket. 

Session 14.6 Kendell2 

"...Rainbow Dash didn't mean it, you know?"

"..."

Twilight didn't break her hug. "...After Discord...I snapped when I was almost late for one of my friendship lessons...I think part of it was I was, wrongly mind you, terrified of losing my friends if I got sent to magic kindergarden..."

Twilight looked back towards the game room. "...I think hearing you always talking about equality reminds Rainbow of having her Cutie Mark taken away and put in that brainwashing hut...I know you don't MEAN to remind her of that..."

"...So what, I should just not talk about what I believe in?"

"...No...Not at all...But you should be considerate of the fact Rainbow Dash might have scars that haven't healed yet...part of being a friend is realizing when a friend is hurt and it would be hitting a nerve."

Starlight uncovered her head and looked down. "...Twilight...I really DID think I was doing the right thing..."

"...I know..."

"...So what CAN I do? I know what I CAN'T but...what can I do?"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin. She thought back to her conflict with Starlight in the past. "...Equality isn't bad...No more than medicine is bad because leeches turned out to be faulty...But I think you need to treat something OTHER than Cutie Marks...They're a scapegoat. It's what you took that anger OUT on...that's not healthy..."

"...Like what?"

"...Did you need to tell the sports colts to give up their Cutie Marks to get them to stop bullying Fluttershy?"

"That resulted in a horrible future where the Changelings won."

Twilight sighed. "No, the fact you changed the PAST resulted in that. Do I need to pull out Starswirl's book on WHY time spells are dangerous again?...My point is, you told them the fact you feel more special than someone else and use it as a reason to hurt others is wrong. That you shouldn't act that way...that wasn't wrong...That isn't 'take away what makes someone special'...It's teaching them not to act entitled and high and mighty. Teaching them humility."

"...So...if I help teach ponies to be more humble...I'd be spreading equality?"

"I think...acceptance is a better word..." Twilight gave a thoughtful look. "...Like for example...when other ponies saw Fluttershy was struggling to fly, they made fun of her...but Rainbow never did...She never treated Gilda different for being a Griffin. And she stood up for them both...Do what you did with those two: teach ponies to stop using differences as an excuse to be cruel...to try and threat everypony like they're equal to them...because they are."

Starlight fully emerged from her blanket...and laughed. "...I...I think I need to learn how to do that first before I'm ready to preach it...I haven't got the best track record..."

"And I'll help you...that's what friends are for, aren't they?"

"...Yes...Twilight...can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"...Do you think...it's my fault Sunburst never came back?"

Twilight blinked, cocking her head. "Why do you ask that?"

"...Because I never joined the celebration...I just stayed in my house, sulking...After...after realizing I was wrong...I can't help thinking that...All these years I blamed his Cutie Mark...if it wasn't his Cutie Mark...was it me?"

"...Starlight, I think it's more complicated than that...I'm not in a good position to answer that, I don't know enough...but I know one thing...if you think you made a mistake, the best thing to do is to learn from it."

"...Ponies have called me insane for doing all this over losing one friend..."

"...And what do you think?"

"...I just don't know..."

Twilight hugged her again. "...I don't think you are...I think you're hurt...damaged...but not beyond repair...and I'll gladly help you."

"...You're really willing to help anyone, aren't you?" Starlight asked. 

"Fluttershy redeemed Discord, kind of a high threshold, isn't it?"

Starlight laughed...and a few tears fell. "...I guess it does...I hope I can be like that some day...it feels pretty...equal..."

Session 14.7 BrutalityInc


“‘You’re too late!’, gloated Doom-Maiden, as she struggled in her bonds, ‘You may have defeated me and my minions, but you won’t be able to stop the firing of my Doom-Ray Cannon at your precious city!’” Spike announced. "Just so you girls know, your superheroes have to stop the Doom-Ray from destroying the city in one turn!"

“Oh Celestia! She’s right!” Twilight realized with horror, “We fried the controls during our fight against her, and the cannon is too large to be destroyed in one turn! We can’t shut it down!"

"What about the generators and capacitors, darlings?" Rarity suggested.

"Even if we didn't block the way to it by collapsing the roof of the corridor to stop minion reinforcements coming in, they're in the basement, behind series of thick and shielded security doors and hardened walls! We would never reach it in one turn!" Applejack noted dismally. 

Spike continued roleplaying the taunting supervillainess. "'There's nothing you can do! The city will be destroyed… and no power on this world can stop it!'”

Just when the group realized the extent of their plight...

“I pull the plug from the machine.”

Everypony gave Pinkie Pie an incredulous look, who looked back at them, “What? The power has to be charged into the Doom-Ray SOMEHOW.”

“But... it can't be as simple as that!” Twilight pointed out.

“Why not? It’s funny! In that ‘Master-of-the-Obvious’ kind of way.” Trixie suggested. Indeed, Spike also found it so hilarious that he was laughing the whole time.

“And so… by pulling the plug from the machine… and the day was saved as the Doom-Ray shut down at the last moment… and Doom-Maiden is left frothing and raging as she was taken away … seeing her plans being stopped in such a humiliating manner…” Spike managed to speak out, snickering as he imagined the absurd scene.

Session 14.8 Mooncalf99

"Starlight, for the last time, chess is NOT classicist!" Twilight said tiredly.

"Oh, please." Starlight rolled her eyes. "It's a class ladder from the highest king to the lowest pawn. You have the king and queen in the position of command, the bishops as their immediate underlings, the knights to command the rooks, and the rooks to oppress the lowest caste, the helpless pawns. How is this not obvious?"

Twilight rubbed her forehead, trying to alleviate the onset of a headache. "Starlight, you're reading too much into things that aren't there. We've been over this. Unique traits doesn't make anything automatically superior. What, next you'll tell me some O&O classes are better than others?"

"Well, fighters pretty much suck."

The two ponies' heads turned sharply towards the door and the familiar visitor standing there. "Trixie?" Twilight asked. "When did you get here?"

"Oh, about ten minutes ago," the magician said. "Trixie got into town early. I was planning on hanging out at Sugarcube Corner until the game started later tonight, but apparently Pinkie got into her head that she should teach Gilda more cake recipes. It's a disaster zone there right now, I tell you."

"So you just stood there listening for ten minutes?" Twilight asked. "That's oddly subdued for you. No offense."

"No, I put my snacks in the fridge first," Trixie said. She cantered up to the table and slouched into Rarity's seat. "But Trixie enjoys a show even when it's not her own. Until you got all 'uh-huh', 'nu-uh'. That was just repetitive. And boring."

"Really now." Starlight narrowed her eyes at Trixie. She was still forming an opinion of the blue unicorn; by all reasonable thought, she should despise a by all appearances massively egocentric blowhard who boasted her superiority in her very title. And yet she was an agreeable player, friendly even, and the other ponies in their group had accepted her easily enough. Perhaps there was something she just didn't see yet. "Then what's your opinion of the game?"

"Chess?" Trixie asked. "It's boring. Takes far too long to play a game. Poker's more fun."

"Poker is just gambling," Twilight protested, frowning at Trixie's obvious irreverence for her favorite game.

"So's mahjong, but talk like that in Chineigh and you'll get your tail burned off," Trixie said. "Mmm, now I wish I hadn't sold my jade set."

"You play mahjong?" Twilight asked, interested. "Spike's been asking me to find a set ever since he found out it's part of his 'draconic cultural heritage', as he put it."

"Yes, the chineighse dragons are very fond of it," Trixie said, smiling at an old memory. "Trixie played it a lot when she toured the Republic as a filly. Very shrewd players. Not generally given to underestimating their opponents, either. I lost so many games... but that just made the victories sweeter." She sighed with nostalgic feeling.

"That's very interesting," Starlight admitted. "But I asked about chess. Do you agree that it's promoting an unfair class model?"

"No, not really?" Trixie said. "What's so unfair about it?"

"All of it?" Starlight suggested. "You have the king at the top..."

"But the king is useless," Trixie retorted.

"It's the most important piece of the game," Twilight pointed out.

"It's slow, it's vulnerable, and it's subject to special rules," Trixie said disdainfully. "From a certain point of view, the king is nothing but a liability. It can't take other pieces unless they get really close, and if they an do that they can just as easily take the king right away. Sure, you can bait the opponent into a trap with it, but that's about it, and a player who does that is taking a huge gamble. As for it having any authority, that's ridiculous. The king is less a commander and more a supply wagon, or some other vital resource you can't go on without."

Twilight shook her head. "I can't really agree with that. I still think it works as an analogue for the commanding officer who commands the rest of the troops."

"Would the Royal Guard stop fighting just because their captain got taken out?" Trixie posited.

"Point," Starlight said. "The queen, then. She's the commanding officer, and she has more power than the other pieces and is more important. Correct?"

"Assuming that versatility counts as a power, yes," Trixie agreed. "Can move in all directions as far as she needs to, so she's dangerous. But that makes her more of a weapon than anything else, and her presence doesn't do anything for the other pieces, so how does she command? And then there's the fact that she's a prime target. Take her out and suddenly the opponent's got far fewer options, correct?What do you do when your opponent takes your queen, Twilight?"

"I can deal with that," Twilight said. "I wouldn't build my whole strategy on one piece."

"A valid argument," Trixie said. "Still, my point stands. It's the same reason why, when I took over Ponyville, my first act was to kick Twilight out of town, because I assumed she was the most powerful threat."

"I've heard about that incident," Starlight said slowly. "I didn't expect you to be so... candid about it."

"It's history," Trixie said dismissively. "It was a mistake and not something I'll ever do again, but it happened and pretending it didn't won't help any. If anything, that's how you repeat your mistakes."

"It helps that we forgave you and became friends," Twilight said with a happy smile.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, hooray for friendship. Anyway, that's the second problem with the queen. Because everypony thinks it's so powerful, they pay too much attention to it and not enough to the other pieces. Much like how Trixie thought getting rid of Twilight was enough, and so paid no attention to Fluttershy."

"Ah-hah!" Starlight said. "So Fluttershy is the humble pawn. The one who sneaks across the board unnoticed and wins the game in their own way."

"No, pawns are too limited in movement to really sneak," Trixie objected. "Though I agree that they can avoid notice by being underestimated."

"Yes, pawns are very powerful in their own way, as long as you know how to play them," Twilight said. "But Fluttershy would be a knight, right? Moving unpredictably, skipping past obstacles."

"That's the one," Trixie agreed. "Ugh, never could keep track of those. They always show up where you least expect them. Also, why are they the only pieces shaped like ponies?"

"Well, the original designs for the pieces were very different, but..." Twilight began. She suddenly realized she had no idea why. There has to be a reason, right? I probably have a book on the history of chess somewhere... ooh, I have to remember to look it up later! "Never mind that. The point is that Trixie underestimated Fluttershy because she only saw me as the real threat."

"Rarity would be the bishop, of course," Trixie continued. "A bit sneaky, but somewhat more predictable in their movement. And Rainbow Dash is the rook - powerful but blunt and blatantly obvious. Which leaves Applejack as the pawn. Simple, straightforward, but definitely not a resource to ignore."

"I'm fairly certain that's not the issue I asked about," Starlight said. "I asked-- wait. What does that leave Pinkie Pie?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Trixie asked. "She's the joker, of course."

"...That's poker," Starlight deadpanned.

"Indeed," Trixie said. She got to her hooves. "And the first thing you need to know about poker is that four deuces beats a pair of aces anytime. See you later, ladies." Then she threw down a smoke bomb and vanished in the cloud... save for the sound of hooves receding down the hallway and the front door slamming shut.

Twilight sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Starlight. I'd say that Trixie's hard to get used to, but I don't think you can get used to her. A bit like Pinkie Pie, I guess..."

Starlight narrowed her eyes. "Hmm... four deuces beats a pair of aces, huh..."


Session 14.9 Mooncalf99

"...Which is why you can't use Genesis to just create a demiplane of nothing but platinum," Trixie finished. "It breaks the antropic principle."

"I guess that makes sense," Rainbow said dubiously. "Still, if the DM wants to nix the idea, can't she just say 'No, won't allow it'?"

"That's the ultimate recourse, but you want to try to have an actual justification for your decisions," Twilight said. "Otherwise you might look like a petty tyrant, and nopony wants that."

"Unless you play Paranoia," Trixie pointed out. "Then it's par for the course."

"I want to play Paranoia again sometime," Starlight said wistfully. "Although apparently you play it differently here."

"Well..." Twilight said. "I suppose we could try a game sometime, Our Town style. Right, girls? Just for a change of pace?"

"Uh..." Rainbow hesitated. "...yeah! That sounds fun! Getting along instead of vaporizing each other for treason! Right, Trixie?"

"Well, at least Applejack will enjoy it..." Trixie muttered.

Pinkie Pie chose that moment to sproink into the throne room, followed by a less sproinky Gilda. Both were oddly moist despite the clear skies outside, with Pinkie's mane drooping just a little. "Hi, girls!" she announced. "Who's up for fun and cake?" She dumped several artfully made delicacies on the table.

"Bit excessive for game night, isn't it?" Trixie said. She snagged a slice of black forest cake. "Still, Trixie doesn't object. Why are you both wet?"

"We had to take a bath," Pinkie said with a giggle. "The frosting got everywhere! Gilda was really on a roll today."

Trixie sniffed the air carefully. "That explains why she smells of cinnamon."

"Shut up, you," Gilda said. "Hey, Dash. You mind if I crash at your place for a while longer?"

"Hey, my place is your place," Rainbow said grandiosely. "What's the deal, though? I thought you were flying back to Griffonstone tomorrow."

"Yeah, well... I'm kinda short on bits at the moment," Gilda admitted. "I'm hanging around for a while until I've got that taken care of."

"We played some poker earlier, when Sparkle went chess nuts," Trixie interjected helpfully. "Gilda got taken to the cleaners."

"You could pay her back if she's that broke, Trixie," Twilight admonished.

"And you speak as though Trixie had the money," Trixie snorted. "We were playing against the Pies. Maud and Limestone."

"Oooooh," Rainbow exclaimed in realization. "Oh, I getcha. Oh, man, playing against Maud? She's gotta have the perfect poker face, right?"

Gilda faceclawed with a groan. Pinkie and Trixie simultaneously broke into giggles, then looked at each other in surprise before hoofbumping.

"What?" Rainbow asked, baffled. "What's so funny? Am I missing something?"

Pinkie choked down the giggles as well as she could. "Dashie... you know Maud doesn't care for winning, right?"

Trixie nodded. "She just goes along for the company. Weird, but that's how she is."

"Okay, so..." Rainbow began. "So, then..."

Gilda groaned again. "How the flying feather do you read a player who's just mad all the time?!"

Session 14.10 Ardashir

"Applejack, er, I mean, Treekeeper, you can stop holding the mad scientists Skim and Skam down with vines and punching them now. They're unconscious."

"Can Ah wait for them ta regain consciousness and start hitting them again?"

"Sorry, no. This isn't an Iron Age game."

"Darn it."

Session 14.11 Richforce (Based on Papers, Please)


“Starlight’s picking the game tonight?” said Fluttershy. “I Hope it’s not one of the games she helped to get funded.”

“It is,” said Twilight. “But not in usual sense. The game was originally made in Roednia and she played it during a trip she took there. She helped to fund a translated version for Equestria.”

“Starlight and Roedina,” said Rainbow Dash. “Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?”

Starlight came into the game room and started setting up. “Hope everypony’s ready, I think you’ll get a kick out this game in particular Rarity.”

“Why me in particular?” asked Rarity.

“Because Border Check is a game that needs the player to look for details. The setting is during the decline of the Hooviet Regime, you play as a customs inspector trying to keep your family alive with your minimal wages from processing the passports and paper work of people trying to cross the border. If all of their documents check out you approve the immigrant’s entry, if something is off you can either straight up deny them or investigate further to see if they need to be detained. Each correctly processed immigrant gets you five Krubels, if you can last thirty days you win with the player having the most savings being the overall winner.”

“Seems simple enough, said Twilight.

“Oh, and for each mistake you make you get a citation. The first two in a day are warnings so you lose no Krubels but after that you’ll be given a fine and the amount raises by five Krubels for each one.”

“Sounds mighty steep,” said Applejack. “You got low wages and some pretty steep penalties like that.”

“Well they made it to poke fun at the old regime while remembering how bad it was. That way they could make sure something that bad never happened again.”

“It’s different,” said Pinkie. “But we won’t know if it’s fun until we try.”

“I don’t know,” said Dash. “We’re still just letting folks into the country. How hard could it be?”

+++

As it turned out it was very challenging. At first the policy was simple, deer in, everyone else out. But as the policy was relaxed they had to check that the documents were legitimate and as events continued to unfold new rules had to be added so that the purpose of the visit needed a plethora of new documents to discourage terrorists, smugglers and other criminals. And with so many to keep track of and rules that changed on an almost daily basis it became that much easier to overlook one detail that could mean the difference between a clean pass and a denial, so the citations had started to rack up. 

Dash had the worst time of it, her strategy focused on processing as many creatures a day a possible and her snap decisions ending up getting so many citations she wound up in debt which caused her to be thrown in jail.

“But I only owed five Krubels!” Dash said.

“Sorry,” said Starlight. “But the regime thinks a government worker in debt is one who could be bought.”

Shortly after this the presence of a rebel group began to influence events. Now they had to decide on whether to help out the rebels which usually involved getting a citation or try to simply keep their job. Twilight, being a stickler for the rules handed over the rebel documents she was given to the intelligence agent at the first opportunity. This got her promptly arrested.

“I followed procedure!” said Twilight. “I thought these Hooviet types encouraged reporting on dissenters!”

“The Ministry of Intelligence doesn’t trust anyone,” said Starlight. “To one of their officers the only way you could have gotten that coded note was if you were connected to the rebels and not just given an offer.”

Fluttershy decided to aid the rebels, mostly because she played in a way to help out the most creatures. The problem was she got flustered with the number of documents she had to check and made mistakes so helping just got MORE citations. So when the rebels gave her a thousand Krubel gift it felt like a godsend that not only kept her suffering family afloat but put her in the lead. Until the next day when the government confiscated all of her savings.

“I don’t understand!” said Fluttershy.

“Well they’re keeping an eye on their workers’ bank accounts,” said Starlight. “The sudden influx of a large amount of cash raised some red flags with them.”

This caused Fluttershy to panic trying to process enough people to keep the family alive and taking bribes where she could. But she was so focused on the immediate needs of the family that she denied entry to the rebel agent who could have stopped the investigation in Fluttershy’s finances. So while she was able to raise enough money she was still arrested for the original discrepancy.

Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie fared much better. Not only did they kept a good eye out on details, which in turn allowed them to AFFORD to do the right thing for people, but they learned to game the rules where possible. When a guard offered kickbacks for detaining suspicious creatures they upped the number of detainments they made even if it took more time, when offered a bribe they usually took it as it tended to pay more than processing them properly.

At first Rarity, as Starlight expected, had the biggest savings due to rarely making a mistakes with the passports and other documents. But that began to change when the end of a day came and the bills had to be paid. Rarity when given the chance moved into better apartments, while this lowered the heating bill the rent went up and well.

Applejack on other hoof stayed where she started at and alternated between paying for food or paying of heat and occasionally buying medicine for the youngest member. As a result, AJ’s decisions made up for her slightly worse performance overtaking Rarity in the savings department and caused Pinkie to take up the same pattern.

“Us Apples learned to make due where we can,” said Applejack. “You could go back to the C8 apartment.”

“I am not having my family live in a dump,” said Rarity.

“This is Hooviet Roedina,” said Pinkie. “Unless you are big official everyone lives in a dump.”

AJ continued her lead until about a week before the end of the game. The inspectors had to double as guards by this time and the rebels wanted an assassination on a Hooviet spy about to cross the border. While AJ could have followed the rebels’ orders exactly she decided to tranquilize the spy instead of killing him. This lead to her getting arrested and things getting harder for the rebels.

“On the bright side the rebels were able to get your family out of the country,” said Starlight.

“You’d think I’d get something for saving the guy’s life,” said AJ.

“You did. The government will send you to a forced labor camp instead of executing you.”

So it came down to Rarity and Pinkie Pie with the party pony having a clear edge cashwise. But Pinkie wasn’t sure the rebels were entirely good, though she did help them a bit. Realizing that could be trouble down the road she started confiscating Yakyakistan passports so a forger who came by could use with a considerable fee to get Pinkie and her family out of the country.

“That was probably the right call,” said Starlight. “But you’ve given Rarity a chance to catch up.”

And Rarity worked hard at it until the last day when the rebels made their move on the border. Since she helped them completely she just stood back while they took down the border wall.

“The Hooviet Regime collapses,” said Starlight. “For aiding the rebels: you are made an agent for the new order and your family is moved into a better house. Tallying up your score you beat Pinkie Pie by five Krubels.”

“That was pretty close,” said Rarity. “Still given that how badly the Hooviet departments functioned it was no wonder they collapsed.”

“My visit made me realize the Our Town would have never worked,” said Starlight.

“What do mean?” said Twilight. “I thought we already got past that.”

“I mean from a civic standpoint. Sure while we were all equal without cuite marks; it was only a matter of time until somepony found a way to manipulate the system in their favor. Trying to force equality of station or in-come through a system of rules only leads to the system breaking down and leaving things worse off for everypony.”

“There is a happy medium, give ponies the tools they need to help themselves and you can bring everypony up. Some would be better off than others but everypony would be better off than when they started."