I felt like a complete fool. As much the fool that Flip acted, I felt like that and more for real.
I forgot what hunger feels like. I forgot that fleshies needed to eat, to drink, to be able to survive. I also completely forgot about the defecation process, but we don't need to ruminate on that aspect.
I've already fallen to the form of an adolescent, I don't need to make it worse by regaling others about fecal matter.
After I had let myself into the earth ponies abode -after he in turn had basically alerted the entire town there was someone new poking around. Don't think I didn't catch that!- my midsection began to let loose it's gurgling cries once more. I didn't bother to suppress it, I was no longer in any danger of a potential predator overhearing it and focusing on me as a wounded target.
"Well hot dog," my newest friend stated, rubbing at his chin while wearing a wry grin. "Sounds like someponys hungry. How bout you take a load off, I'll see iffin I can rustle ya up some grub," he stated, trotting off to where I assume his kitchen was located further within his home. I assume.
I was left alone in what I think passes for a living room. Two windows that open to the outside -one of them having been left open to allow a slight breeze-, a couch that dominated a majority of the wall it was set against, and a couple chairs that also looked like they had faced years of use.
I decided to rest my weary body -the charity was implied, even if he didn't outright offer it,- so I clambered up onto the couch. I had a surprisingly hard time of it.
I know, I know. I managed to get up into a tree, so a couch with a foot and a half lift shouldn't cause me too much trouble, right? Well ascending my way into the tree had taken me nearly a whole hour. It had also taken vigorous application of me biting into the tree trunk and slowly levering myself up inch by inch. I don't think this guy would look very favorably on me biting his couch.
I really had to figure out how to move this body properly. Even after a day and a half of moving around in it, it still felt unnatural. I didn't get it. I had worn bodies similar to this one before in the dream realm with nary a single problem, but every step I took in this one was a shaky, jittery mess.
It was little wonder the townsfolk didn't try to approach me. I probably looked like some sort of demonic puppet, covered in plant-life and jerking with every step. As it was, it took me far too long to get up on a simple couch.
I used my mouth to pick off the more stubborn of debris stuck to my legs, discarding it off the side of the couch. I'd help clean it up later. If this stetson wearing pony didn't simply fall all over himself trying to cater to me.
I would have used magic in this endeavor... but I still was experiencing some difficulties regarding control. As in, I still had no idea how to. It seems the cragodile offensive I pulled off back in the forest was just a fluke, seeing as everything I did only made a faint sparkle flow out of my horn.
I had similar results regarding my scepter and key, whatever control I had through them in the dream realm didn't seem to transition smoothly. As tested, I could heal with my scepter. I couldn't focus my will through it or my key as I had before, leaving them mostly unuseful.
At the very least, I had a decent amount of control regarding my hooves. I wasn't scrabbling away with a flat useless surface, thankfully.
I heard a creak, and looked up directly into the eyes of a wizened old mare. It was amazing I hadn't noticed her creep up on me, the way her body was subtly shaking spoke of her advanced age. Her coat was a faded green, while her mane and tail were a subdued grey. Her eyes though wracked with cataracts, sparked with hidden intelligence.
"Yer gonna clean that shite up, right?" she ground up, giving me the stink eye.
I took a second to appreciate the candor of this old pony. She'd had plenty of time to look me over in my inattentiveness, with as much gunk as I already cleaned off of my wings there was no way she didn't see them along with my horn.
"I would be a fairly shite guest if didn't, no?" I replied, fixing her with a grin.
She replied with nothing more than a short bark of a laugh, merriment dancing in her eyes. Turning from me, she slowly lowered herself down into one of the two chairs, letting out a low moan of discomfort as she did so.
I'd give her a quick blast of my scepter before I left. I couldn't reverse what time had done to her... but I could relieve the pain by a fair amount. I'd have to be sure to get her permission though, she struck me as the type of pony who would let loose with a roundhouse and ask questions later.
"You new in these here parts sonny?" she asked, having attained a comfortable sitting position.
"In the simplest of answers, yes," I replied, ripping loose a twig that tore a few errant hairs away from my scalp along with it. "In a more obtuse answer however, I have been here before. Intrinsically. I remember this place, even though I've never physically been here."
"Eh..." the mare let out a low sigh, one of her eyebrows creased in thought. "So... one o' them unicorn memory spell thingamabobbs?"
"Dream realm variant," I replied. For a non unicorn that knew little of dream magic, trying to explain further would be needlessly cruel to her attention span. It wasn't that I thought of an earth pony of a simpleton, but an elderly pony doesn't want stuff verbatim explained at them. Simply agreeing with the information she supplied, with a slight alteration shouldn't annoy her too greatly.
"Eh," she replied, slowly starting to rock her chair forward and back.
I sat in relative silence, only broken by the slight creaking of her chair as I continued to pull random stuff out of my hair. I had amassed a fair sized pile when the old mare spoke up once more.
"Don' get many alicorn out this way," she prompted, slyly eyeing me out the corner of a cracked eye.
"I would imagine not," I replied. "As far as I know, we are a rare breed."
"Eh," she replied, shifting in her seat. "Rare... recken so. Less rare nowadays though, eh?" she prompted with a slight grin. "Only knew of Princess Celestia 'afore... now folks is sayin' she had a sister what was sleepin' in the moon. Hidden away, convenient as ye' please," she let out a huff of laughter, her eyes glinting. "So who're you? An estranged son?"
"Would you believe me if I said she was my daughter?" I asked, tearing a burr free and spitting it out on the floor. I was met with another harsh laugh at my claim. Guess even joking it wasn't very convincing. "So... no. I don't really have any relation to the princesses. At best I could be considered a cousin. A very estranged cousin, at that."
I didn't really have any relation to the princesses, and I had purposely stayed as far away from the sun princesses dreams as I could. So I only knew what their subjects knew of them. Which was stilted and propaganda at best. They all viewed Celestia as an unassailable bastion of purity and goodness. Which was her public face, sure. Didn't let me know anything about the actual Princess, though.
This body... the elements had to be involved. Their essence had permeated the cave I had woken up in, and had seemed to coalesce within the crystalline tree that resided there. If the elements had created a giant tree for no seeming purpose, then it stood to reason they could have also created a body for me.
Why? Maybe whatever consciousness they possessed felt sorry for me. I had been pretty much killed because its bearers did a hapshod job. If the elements had gotten all of the nightmare in the first place, instead of leaving it a lifeline to cling to out here in the waking world...
Complaining did me no good. It simply highlighted my frustration.
"Eh," she let out again. Old people were funny like that. Letting out random moans for seemingly no reason.
"Nemo," I said, watching as a wry smile crossed her face at my impromptu greeting.
"Crabapple," she replied, shifting in her seat. "Any relation what to the seapony in them book series?" she asked, a crooked laugh passing her lips as she cackled quietly to herself.
"Not even close," I replied. "My name was actually a reference to a famous seafaring captain. He gave the name 'Nemo', which in turn means 'no pony'. It was originally a feint to avoid introducing himself to the traveler that met him."
Crabapple let out a hoarse bark of a laugh, her mirth clearly set on her face. I had always felt more at ease around the elderly. They had absorbed more through life, and didn't run around as sporadically as some youngsters.
Aren't I now one of those 'youngsters'? I thought to myself.
I was bound to be mistaken for a foal sooner or later, no matter how well I explained my circumstances. It couldn't be helped, what with how I currently looked. Hopefully I could pull off an 'Artemis Fowl' and just creep people out by acting old.
"Ah, I see yev met my ma," came from the earlier pony. He placed a pie down on the couch next to me, looking uneasily at the pile of filth piled beside the couch. "She uh... ain't givin' ya no trouble, is she?" He flashed a worried look towards his mother. Guess she was notorious for her less than apologetic demeanor.
"Grow yerself a backbone lil Braeburn," she tittered, shifting in her seat as she shot him a knowing look.
"Ma..." he protested.
"The little feller aint gonna bite iffin ya ferget tah dot yer 'tees', Braeburn," she chastised, giving me a nod. "Ain't nothin' like that prince what came by a few months ago. Empty headed blowhard. Less sense than a bucket o' rocks," she huffed.
"That don' mean we can be rude, ma," Braeburn protested.
"Rude, nothin'. Ahm jes bein' mahself. Sides, ain't nothin' to be learned from pussyfootin' round the bush. This here little guy ain't nothin' tah be afeared from, he's friendly."
"Ma..."
"Quit loligaggin' about an' go get the broom, Braeburn!" she suddenly shouted, sending him scurrying out of the room. "Seriously... that boy..."
"I can get a broom on my own ma'am, I'm not that debilitated by my size..."
She replied with another laugh, and a nod towards the pie next to me. "Jes eat'cher pie, will ya? Kin barely hear mahself think o'er that caterwaullin' yer stomachs lettin' out," she fake complained, the smile not leaving her face.
The smells this thing was letting out was making my stomach complain double-time. The scent was laced with what I vaguely remembered as apples, a sweet smell that seemed to travel directly from my nose down my throat to pool in my stomach.
I tentatively leaned over it, careful to push my mane out of the way. I really had to get this damned thing cut, it was just too unmanageable as it was. A couple sniffs did little to sate my hunger, sending further pains racing through my chest.
I dipped my head down, taking my first bite of food in centuries.
Oh stars damnit what have I been missing all my life?!!? Ooooh~ It's like there's pleasure. And its being eaten by my mouth.
Among my scattered thoughts, I somehow managed to swallow what was in my mouth And then I took another bite. And another. I think I was halfway through before I noticed I had swallowed some dirt along with the deliciousness that had been gifted upon me.
"Slow down lil Nemo," Crabapple chastised me, a look of amusement still high on her lips, "Don' wanna eat the tin along with the pie, now do ye?"
"No," I admitted, my traitorous tongue lapping out to snag a crumb that had strayed from my mouth. "I've far too much iron in my diet to begin with, I don't need to be adding tin," I joked.
She laughed along with me as Braeburn came back with a broom, a straight bristled thing that barely looked functional.
"Hooo-eee, looks like you were hungry," He mentioned, staring down at the half eaten pie. His expression grew puzzled after a couple seconds, looking back and forth from me to the pie tin. "Uhh... not to be rude lil guy," he started, looking over to his mother for confirmation as well. She gave him a dismissive grunt, returning to her rocking. "... any... particular reason why you didn't use magic?" he asked, looking guilty the moment he said it, "I mean, ya don't have to use yer hooves like us earth ponies iffin you'd rather use your horn..."
Ah. So that's what he was worried about.
"I take no offense at such an assumption, Braeburn," I stated, licking a dribble of syrup from the back of my arm. "As circumstances dictate, I have recently had... a route of difficulty regarding magic, and my usage of it. I used to be able to grasp my magic without much difficulty," I was basically just enacting my will upon the dream realm, but it was the same distinction, "But due to a recent event I have had my control... shifted. While I am still capable of accessing my magic," with this I reworked my mindset through the same feeling I had had during the cragodile attack, shuffling my energy upwards through my head to center on my horn.
Thankfully I managed to activate it, as little as I was able. I covered my horn with a corona of light, which flashed brightly and quickly petered out.
"...I am no longer capable of controlling it to the extent I previously was. Even the act of simple levitation currently eludes me, unless I wished to overextend myself and launch this pie straight through your houses roof."
I was guessing at this point, but ruminating on the attack in the forest and my escape from the cave brought up the same concern. In a moment of extreme emotion, I had shoved everything I had in a quick burst. Both events had a decent level of power, but my control in both was nearly nonexistent. I would have to be careful until I could bring it to bear. I had thankfully been alone my past two times, but what if someone else had been with me? They could have been hurt by my lack of control. Better to just clamp down on it while in the company of others.
I got up from the couch, landing with a dull thunk. I reared up on my back hooves, taking the broom from the suddenly stunned stallion. I had no desire to replace the wondrous taste still swimming about my mouth with the dusty wood of the broom. I managed to maintain my balance, carefully sweeping up the pile as Braeburn left to open the front door. I guess he wanted me to just sweep it outside.
I could tell you about all the minor troubles I had trying to get it to the door, the three times I tripped, the one time I fell bodily on the pile and had to pick it all back out again, but I won't.
"Ne'er seen no unicorn sweep like that," Crabapple chuckled after I had returned myself to the couch. "Ya gonna finish yer pie, Nemo?"
"Of course," I replied, the simple activity having fired my stomach up once again. "Would be bloody impolite If I didn't eat everything that you gave me, I don't think that-"
I jerked upright in my throne, the dream of a taste of apples lasting on my lips. I looked around the dream, trying to focus myself. I reformed my ego in my human form once more, searching outwards within the dream.
"Flip?" I called out, echoing the word around me. "Professor?"
I received no reply, the dream silent around me. I cast myself out of Slumberland, a feat which was far easier than it should have been. I had no one in my dream, nothing straining it past my control. I didn't have to subtly keep it contained as I entered or left it, seeing as there was no longer anyone within it.
Not even Flip or Professor Genius, who had stayed behind to greet me previously.
I peered around the dreamscape, trying to find something interesting. I must have fallen asleep back in the waking world, or I might even have been pulled back for some purpose.
I struck my consciousness up along the edge of a random dream, peeking in carefully. It contained the dreams of a mare, peacefully dreaming of having a meal with another pony. One of the mares was green, with a harp as her cutiemark. The other was the dreamer, whose cutiemark was that of a pair of wrapped sweeties.
I quickly pulled myself from the dream, seeing nothing to note. She was dreaming peacefully, and my presence was unwarranted. Looking around me, I couldn't find even a single dream tainted by unease. So had the protector already made her rounds? Odd, seeing as I had fallen asleep during the middle of the day. Wait... I hadn't even made it to a safe place, I hope that pair didn't mind me kipping off on their couch...
Braeburn looked on in silence, refusing to say a word in case the alicorn was attempting to prank him.
"My, my. He really jes fell asleep, dinne'?" his mother asked, leaning forward for a better look.
"Uh... sir?" Braeburn stated carefully, sidling up alongside the couch to carefully poke at the little alicorns shoulder. "Are you..."
The colt let out a body wracking snore, bubbles of air popping up around his muzzle. He had suddenly pitched forward in the middle of his sentence, plopping face first right in the middle of his half eaten pie. He didn't appear to be in any danger of drowning in his food, and he appeared to be comfortable at the very least.
"Well ma," Braeburn started, turning to his mother, "Whaddaya think?"
"Quirky lil thing, ain't he?" she responded with a light smile. "Don't act like no royal, that fer sure. That was one o' our detect pies, right?"
"Y...yeah," Braeburn replied, nudging the sleeping colt once more.
"So he ain't no changeling neither, elsewise his disguise wouldda dropped," she mused, humming slightly to herself. "All these alicorns popping outta the woodwork. Feels odd. I wanna offer him a room," she stated suddenly, receiving a nod from her son.
"I'll just tidy it up a bit... poor thing looks like he's been through the ringer."
"Do come in!" Twilight belted out, throwing the door open wide for the Princess that stood on the road just outside it.
Princess Luna was looking worse for wear, her coat and mane waterlogged and limp. Twilight noted to herself that she looked like she been put through the ringer, with dark bags under her eyes.
"We thank thee, Twilight Sparkle," Luna stated, wasting no time to enter the library. With a spell from her horn, she was suddenly dry. Unfortunately this spell had a tendency of of leaving one... for lack of a better word, fluffy.
"Not a word, Sparkle," Luna warned, causing Twilight to make a rather loud gulp of apprehension.
"I... wouldn't think of it!" Twilight hurriedly stated, levitating a pot of boiling water from the kitchen. "Would you care for some tea?"
"Dost thou have Zebrican?" Luna tiredly asked, slumping inwards upon herself.
"Yes, just give me a second," Twilight hurriedly poured the water into a clean cup, using a spell to quickly blend the spices into the boiling water. "So what brings you... for a visit?" she hopefully asked, unsure of how exactly to confer with the new alicorn.
"We search for mine son," Luna wasted no time getting to the bone of her reasons, causing Twilight to flinch and stare at Luna with wide eyes.
"S...son?!" Twilight belted out, "You have a son? How come... none of my textbooks said anything about you ever conceiving..." she trailed off, realizing she had levitated said textbook from a nearby shelf and was flipping through it.
"Verily," Luna agreed, using her magic to reach out and slam the book shut. Twilight twitched in her seat, realizing her rudeness as her ears splayed against her head in shame. "Twas not a note of happiness in our lives. Our son..." she trailed off, carefully choosing her words. "Our son was born, and ne'er did wake. Mine sister and I placed the body in magic stasis, hoping beyond hope we could eventually find a cure for his ails."
Twilight wasn't stupid enough to grab a pad of paper and a quill, but internally she was madly committing each word to memory, so she could write it down at leisure.
"We suspect the nightmare to hath used foul magics on our son," she continued, taking a brief sip of her tea. "For recently... we... I... I believe my son to have awoken."
Twilight continued to stare in rapt attention, barely daring to blink.
"His memorial was located within a cave housing the origination of the elements of harmony," Twilight jerked in her seat, a new piece of information placed before her.
"The tree of harmony. We believed it might protect him from further evils. And this past morn... we found our foal gone from yon resting place. Tracks led from the cave... out into the Everfree forest."
Twilight gasped, her ears splaying back once more.
"Aye. We... I am worried," Luna confessed, her ears drooping. "We lost the trail 'pon a rain in the middle of the forest. We hold out hope though," she stated, nodding her head. "Recently, his tracks were heading this way. Towards Ponyville. Might I ask a boon of thee, Twilight Sparkle?"
"Yes, anything!" Twilight hurriedly stated, nearly spilling her own cup of tea in her zealousness.
"Please... keep an eye out. Tell your fellow townsponies of mine plight. If you find mine son..." she trailed off, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Please, thou must promise us this. You will contact us the moment you are able, understand?"
Twilight nodded in confirmation, eager to please her mentors sister. If she saw a young foal. Wandering around.
Contact Princess Luna immediately.
I jerked awake once more, starting at my surroundings. Through bleary eyes I noted I appeared to be lying in a bed, the room dark. The barest tinges of light peeked through the tightened drapes of the window, letting me see the pale moonlight that shone outside.
I levered myself from the bed, noting I was less dirty than when I had finished earlier. Still dirty, but I didn't look like I was trying to carry around half the forest anymore at the very least. Weird, knowing I was groomed by my hosts. And given a room to boot.
I crept forth silently, pausing at the door. I opened it to the hallway beyond, noting at the fact that there were no other sources of light to be had. The old mare and her son seemed to be asleep. I snuck down the hall, peering in one of the rooms. I could see Braeburns mane slowly rising and falling from the pillow he had placed his head on, so I carefully closed the door and continued on. The last room contained the old mare.
I touched the end of my scepter lightly to the nape of her neck, careful not to wake her. A short wave of healing later and she was still fast asleep. There, now I didn't have to feel bad about not doing that earlier.
I made my way back to 'my' room, climbing my way back on top of the bed. Tunneling under the covers, I managed to make myself comfortable again.
I didn't feel tired, but I hadn't really before either.
I jerked in bed, a sudden thought occurring to me. I let out a frustrated sigh, realizing what was wrong with me.
"Buck me, I have narcolepsy."