//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: The Hard Life Of A Journalist (Unedited) // Story: The new Sombra - The tale of a villain, that tries to behave... like a villain? // by Hoppa_21 //------------------------------// POV: Press Pass A dim crystal was shining on the ceiling of my cell. Crystals seemed to be abundant in this place. In a ridiculous amount. They literally sprouted from the walls! It was quite spiky. They didn’t sprout out more than a few inches and they did it in a slant angle, but that didn’t make it any better. Just think about it. A prisoner could break a piece from those crystals as a makeshift weapon and attack the first pony that walks into the cell! Especially since there were no chains or any means to restrain prisoners in here! No chains! No magic! Nada! Are they really that low on money? If true, why not use the Unicorns for some magical binding spells? Next thing that happens is that they can’t even afford doors for the cells! A really ridiculous prison indeed. I had a lot worse in my career. I remember the dungeons in Canterlot Castle. Walls as smooth as a mirror, being chained to the wall with an inhibitor ring on my horn AND being watched by guards! Or at least they were patrolling and checking the cells every thirty minutes. THAT was a challenge. But this? Pffffffffffft. Ridiculous. I’m kind of offended even! I probably could get the door to the cell open with one of the crystals on the walls. It’s not like I was being watched. Or I was not being watched until a familiar pony walked in on me and started asking ridiculous questions. “What is your connection to Sombra?” I huffed at this. It was the same incompetent unicorn mare, who was fighting Sombra back at the spa. The one who was buying the most obvious lie in the history of lies! The HUGE grin on his face told everypony that he was not even serious! And still she believed him! A criminal! The nerve! It took all of my willpower not to just pummel her into the ground. The other guards in front of the cell doors probably wouldn’t appreciate it. Well, at least I know now that Sombra escaped them. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so persistent and pissed about this whole interrogation. Of course, her voice seemed to be calm, but her light blue eyes betrayed her. I could practically see them boiling in the same way with hatred, how mine boiled with anger. “How often do I have to tell you?! I only met him today and it is quite obvious that he is messing with me!” I was really annoyed by her questioning. I mean, was his taunting not obvious enough after the guards dogpiled me? Was him leaving me behind, surrounded by guards, not enough? Or him destroying my cameras repeatedly! I was running short on them! And let me tell you, they were not cheap! Especially the lenses. A good, razor-sharp photo always depends on the quality of the lens. That is the first rule of being a professional photograph. Of course quality comes with a price and this made her sigh more than once, then she thought back to the brave lenses who sacrificed themselves for the sake of the photo of a lifetime. But once she got the photo, it will all pay off. Just the equipment she could buy from a SINGLE photo of him! The first photo ever made of King Sombra! And not to forget the fame! Those thoughts are what always helped me through with difficult situations. They can try to break me, they can try to break my cameras, but they can never break my spirit! “Yeah, sure. You were acting rather pally around him. I doubt you would act like that, if you didn’t know him. So let’s try this again. What do you know about him?” I narrowed my eyes at her. My frustration building up to whole new levels. My answer was accordingly rather harsh. “I know that he is a selfish, arrogant, self-centered and narcissistic bastard!” How dense can guards be! I know I was always badmouthing about the Canterlot guards, but they had at least some common sense in them! I mean, yeah they got distracted and left their post, if you so much as threw a stone, leaving the gate to the castle completely unattended, but against the crystal guards, they looked like the Special Forces of the Gryphon Kingdom! And let me tell you, that they understood their job! That was definitely the closest call I had in my entire career. The crystal guards probably couldn’t even replace a single lightbulb! No matter how numerous they were. And I found this out only after one day of being here! That’s how obvious it was! “I see. You are that emotional about him. You are his concubine then?” “C-concubine?” I stuttered, quite shocked by that ridiculous statement. But only a moment later my head turned red, more out of anger as embarrassment and I narrowed my eyes dangerously at the insolent mare. “CONCUBINE?! CONCUBINE?! DID SOMEPONY BUCK YOUR BUCKING BRAINS OUT! OH I SEE HOW IT IS! LET ME GUESS HE WAS ONCE BUCKING YOU, YOU BUCKING PIECE OF HORSEAPPLES AND NOW YOU LIKE TO PUT THE SHAME ON OTHERS TO DISTRACT FROM YOUR OWN SHAMEFUL BUCKING ACTIONS!” She stumbled back at this, blushing thoroughly. “W-What is n-not t-“ “TELL ME HOW DID IT FEEL TO GET TAKEN BY HIM FORCEFULLY! YOU PROBABLY WERE EVEN ENJOYING IT! WHICKERING LIKE A WHORSE!” Visibly frustrated she walked up to me, taking me in her magical grip and bringing me close to her face. Her face was still a shade of deep red. Her voice was still controlled and calm, but I could definitely hear it cracking. Ha! Seems like I win this round. “Listen here, Miss Shine. We know you have a connection to Sombra and you won’t get out of here until you tell us everything you know.” I smirked. “So you would let me, a possible acquaintance of Sombra, set free after I told you some things about him? That is pretty stupid.” Some may say this was a stupid move, but she kinda provoked that response! If she is willing to make such morally questionable deals, I could only guess what other scandals I could find within the guard. This has potential! I definitely might want to write an article about them at a later date too. But first things first. She then dropped me to the ground. “Be that way then. I don’t mind you rotting down here for the rest of your miserable life.” She when walked towards my cell door. This guard didn’t really deserve an answer, but it wouldn’t hurt to show some good will, every now and then. Especially since I could milk this situation to my advantage. If I told her something to distract her from me for a while, I could roam the castle undetected for other scandals! And besides they needed the help. One word: Incompetence. You really have to wonder if you need an IQ below the average to join those idiots. But I’m going on a guard rant again here, aren’t I? However I answered just then she was before the threshold of my cell. “He is bad at magic.” She stopped and turned her head slowly around to me. Confusion written all over her face. “What are you talking about?” “Then I met him in the spa he couldn’t do a simple levitation spell.” I grinned. “You fought him. Didn’t you notice that his magic was off?” She seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before turning away from me and stepping out of my cell. Just before she got out of earshot, she answered, “I will keep that in mind.” I sighed. They really aren’t the brightest bunch. After all the reports I have read on his case. The reports about his abilities, it should have been obvious to them, especially since THEY saw his abilities firsthoof. King Sombra doesn’t get pushed around by a few mere guards. He was able to take on the whole empire by himself with his dark magic as he returned for the first time and could only be stopped through the Crystal Heart, which was the equivalent to Equestrias Elements of Harmony. Yep. I did my homework. I’m not some bloody amateur. Too bad that the reports didn’t have any descriptions about his look. This could have helped my situation, but oh well… I then proceeded to look around the cell. Kind of funny how often things end up with me being in a cell. And I didn’t even have to break into the palace to end up here! I’m completely innocent this time! This was certainly not what I had in mind, when I woke up this morning. Back to the past – Or more specifically, this morning PEEP! PEEP! PEEP! I groaned as I rolled to the left side of my bed. Glaring at the digital clock on my nightstand, as if it would bulge under my stare and stop it’s annoying, as well as torturing sounds. The rectangular box showed the time relentless in poisonous green numbers. “06:00,” I muttered. It was way too early to start the day. I yawned as I smashed my hoof on the clock violently to finally silence it. Cracks were already forming on the clock. “I really need to find some better clocks. Would be the third broken one this month,” I muttered, as I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I groggily stood up from my bed and made my way to my bathroom, where I scrubbed my teeth. After this the sleep seemed to have slackened and I could now eye myself in the mirror to see one of the worst cases of bed head you could imagine on a pony, with the hair sticking out at every possible angle, almost like an octopus. Or with other words the start of a normal day for me. My hair just seemed to have this ability to get this cases of bed head without me even trying. Well, I just lazily brushed it a little. My hat would do most of the job in hiding it anyway. No need to overexert myself. After that was done it was time for breakfast. I clutched an open bag of chips and jumped on my couch, while turning on the TV, an invention from those researchers in Canterlot. Now I was lazily laying on the couch, munching on chips, while watching TV. Granted, there was only three channels at the moment (they were already working on more), giving away the newest news for example, or at least what they considered the newest news. I myself had more insight in news than most ponies. I was in a way the source. Or one of the greatest sources in Equestrian history! A professional journalist. One the likes of Alicorns had to fear! A special report peeked my interest. Not because I haven’t heard from it, heavens forbid! It was a scandal I blew myself. That’s why I listened intently. I could see a pony and a gryphon standing in front of one of the numerous G -Taco stores. The G that fills you with glee! … Yeah a flank stupid slogan. I know. I didn’t think of it, so don’t blame me. “-ith an interview of Taco Tuesday from the G-Taco taco scandal. Sir what do you say to the accusations that you used expired meat in your tacos?” “I said it once and I will say it again, this is all nothing more than the work of a deceiving, self-centered and narcissistic paparazzi, with no grace, whatsoever, who tries to ruin the life of me to make herself feel better, by distracting herself from their own pathetic life.” I was scratching my plot, as I shoved another hooffull of chips in my mouth. “Yeah. Buck you too, taco guy! I have more grace than you could ever hope to achieve in your miserable little life with your mansions, personal servants and all that nonsense! You probably can’t even wipe your plot without help!” The mental image caused me to guffaw. “That’s what I call pathetic!” I laughed at my own statement, as I was munching on some more chips. I really like my lifestyle. The rant then continued for another ten minutes until I was out of insults and personally had to admit, that I needed to go off the couch to get to work. I cringed at the thought to meet the senior today. He was really pissed about the taco story, since his daughter is into this guy. Reason enough for me not be thrilled about work today, but avoiding the inevitable was just plain stupid and not an option. I could only expect the worst and hope for the best. After galloping through the streets of Manehattan (I have to keep myself in shape to outrun guards after all. What? Did you think you could blow a scandal without taking a risk?) I finally stood in front of the old stone building. ‘Equestrian Times’ could be read engraved on big metallic letters at the front. Some might think it was too tacky or pompous, but I personally kind of liked it. Why hide behind small and inconspicuous letters when you know that you are great? But enough of that. Now or never. The best thing I could do at this moment was walking in like nothing happened at all. Personally I didn’t do anything wrong anyway. I just did my job. Not my fault the senior is such a flank hole. So I will just make my entrance as usual. And so that’s what I did. I marched in as if I owned the place, which I will in the future. I mean I AM Press Pass! “Hey! Snappy Scoop! Made any good snaps lately?” “Jo! Sourpuss! Still in a sour mood I see!” “Eff stop! Have you finally stopped to eff and blind?” “Tracy Flash aka Shutterfly! Have you finally decided which name to go by? No? I see! Well, some have a mid-life crisis and you have an identity crisis! But I can’t really be mad at you. You just aren’t the brightest bulb around here so you probably can’t help it! She said something angrily under her breath along the lines of: “Shutterfly is my second name.” But I didn’t pay her any heed. I moved along and ignored all the glares I got. I smiled contently. This is just the way it is supposed to be. Not that everypony glared at me, mind you. It’s just that, if you are as famous and special as me, some ponies can’t help but feel jealous! But it’s nothing I can’t deal with. I’m used to it after all. The weight of being a celebrity. I finally reached my desk and let myself fall onto my padded stool. Seems like I have mastered the first hurdle. “Morning, Pressie. The senior wants to see you.” I groaned and didn’t even bestir to turn around as I pounded my head on my desk. “What does that old bugger want now?” I asked frustrated, not even bothering to greet my colleague. I turned my head in his direction. It was Nightjar, a well-built Pegasus with a black mane, tail and beard, a light grey coat, glasses and a black t-shirt. He really stood out like a sore thumb. He was huge and bulky compared to the average pony. “I have no idea. But don’t worry too much about it. It can’t be that bad.” “You can talk! You didn’t blow the taco scandal about that loser of his daughter’s fiancé!” “You might be right about that. And if I think about it, parents usually tend to be rather protective of their kids.” “Gee, thanks for the pep talk! That is helping me quite a LOT!” I retorted sarcastically as I lifted my head off my desk. The last thing I needed was him, telling me how bucked I was. “Heh, sorry about that,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head. After that he then got a glint in his eyes. I already had my instincts set to flight, since I knew what would come. “You know. Now that we are talking about family…” Oh, please no. “How are you holding up? Any new stallions or mares in your life?” He winked. And I groaned, as I faceplanted on my desk yet again. A visible dent in the rough shape of my face was already formed on it. It was a constant reminder that I had to deal with his nonsense on a daily basis. “A family would only pull me down!” I lamented, trying to find some comfort in the hard wood of my desk. Some ponies might have seen this as whining, though. “Look at me! Is it pulling me down?” He asked with a way too wide grin. The exact type of grin which I despise so much. I lifted my head from the desk to face him. “Didn’t you give up your dreams of a musical career because you needed a steady income?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “Doesn’t keep me from working here,” he retorted casually, before he got a toothy grin, “or from having a family.” I deadpanned as I lifted my head up to face him once more. “Your marefriend takes care of your foal.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Ha! Got you now bugger. He then flashed me a smile again. “Your stallion could take care of it.” “Tsk. As if a relationship alone wasn’t time consuming AND complicated enough. I want to focus on my career, and said career is going downhill at the moment. You know that the taco scandal wasn’t the only problem lately.” My colleague then studied my coat for a moment, completely ignoring my prior statement, as he pointed a hoof at the vestiges of my breakfast. “You know, I have still the hope that a stallion or a mare might cure you from your unhealthy lifestyle.” I just snorted at that. He was a real moralizer. What was wrong with chips for breakfast? Seriously. I then smirked devilishly, as a retort for that statement came to my mind. “What? You saying I’m fat?” Let me explain. He sees himself as a real gentlecolt and that is why he would never ask a lady her weight. An easy-to-use weakness. He tried to stutter a response, but decided then to stop his mouth and to look away sheepishly instead, contemplating his next words very carefully. This was just too easy. “PRESS PASS!” I suddenly heard the senior shout from across the room, as he was standing at the threshold of his opened office door. “GET YOUR FLANK HERE IMMEDIATELY!” “Great. Can’t waste anymore time here or this old squaller is going to light a fire under my flank.” My colleague just gave me a reassuring nod. “Can’t be that bad. I bet my shirt on it.” I laughed a humorless laugh, as I turned to walk away, not even bothering to look his way, as I answered, “That’s a bet you are going to lose.” I then stopped in front of the open door to the senior’s office and sighed. “Let’s get this over with.” “I have to do a WHAT?!” My scream of indignation was gathering some attention, as I could clearly see some of my colleagues watching through the large glass windows. Senior Editor prevented any further starring by closing the shutters. He was an Earth Pony with a brown coat and a black mane, which already grew gray on his sides. He also sported a mustache on his upper lip. His look just screamed flankhole boss. He looked me straight in the eyes, as he answered, “A traveler’s guide for the Crystal Empire.” I just looked at him in further indignation. A traveler’s guide was for rookies! Losers with no ambition and no real goals in life! Some loners who sit on the couch in the mornings and munching on chips, while watching TV! Not like her! … OK! But you still know what I mean! I AM Press Pass. I revealed the embezzlement of subsidies meant for education! I revealed the affair of the Storm family! I broke into Canterlot Palace repeatedly! Not some rookie! “I have better things to do than a traveller’s guide! I’m sooo close on a story and you know it!” The senior just shot me a disapproving glare from his spot. “I think it is best to leave this case to the hoofs of another.” “Another?” I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. “Please. Who could possibly be up to the task other than me?” "“Action Shot." I slammed my hooves on his desk and leaned over, my mouth forming to a threatening snarl of indignation. Yep. A lot of indignation here. But I had a good reason for it. “ACTION SHOT! THAT ROOKIE?!” See? A good reason. A rookie like her should get tasked with rookie tasks. She would only ruin this! The senior stood up and leaned over the table, mimicking me, as if to demonstrate his dominance and defend his rule in his small office. “Action Shot made some nice shots of the changeling invasion. And she is the sister of Big Shot. I think she is more than up to the job. Even more so than you.” “Oh, you mean because she is the sister from Big Shot? The hippie who is still believing in Sasquatch? And is shooting animals like small cute bunnies for a living?” “Big Shot is shooting all kinds of dangerous creatures. Not only the harmless ones. And by the way, the rabbit you are referring to was a jackalope! Those are very rare animals. They normally are really shy and avoid the contact to ponies. Most ponies without a cutie mark for animal caring can only dream to ever meet one! And even if you have one, that is no guarantee to actually meet one! So his skills are undeniable. As to his believes… heck it is his life! And I’m not judging him. There were times where jackalopes were once a myth too! Maybe he will really find one, one day! You shouldn’t underestimate him, nor his sister. She will fill in for you just nicely.” “Horseapples! I can do the job tenfold better than her! She is incompetent and can’t even tie her own shoes!” “She doesn’t have any, just like you” he said deadpanned. “I could give her some and show you that she in fact can’t tie them!” “Uh-huh. And you can?” “Yes! I have AND can tie shoes. I’m the fastest in tying shoes in all of Manehattan, no, all of Equestria, and am with that your best bet for a successful story!” He started to rub his temples. “And what does this have to do with anything?” “I have a pair for sneaking and implemented stowage for inkpots! The best means for self-defense! It is therefore essential for the success of the mission! She will only get caught if things get too heated. And trust me, they always get too heated. Without this skill she will get caught! And I highly doubt she has the experience to break out of a prison cell.” “I doubt that things will end up like that,” he shot back sarcastically. “Action Shot is going to take over your case. End of discussion.” “B-b-b-but-“ “No buts! Personally I have enough of your bickering. You were once a good journalist, but your hayday is over! Either accept it or perish! I’m no longer tolerating your whims!” He started to lean in closer and was just inches away from my face. “Did I make myself clear?” I glared defiantly. “Crystal clear.” “Good. Your train is leaving in an hour. So pack up and go.” I didn’t even bother to nod nor to say my goodbyes as I left his office. My feet took me relatively fast back to my desk as I stomped hard on the ground in rage. I grabbed my stuff just as Nightjar walked up to me. “How did it go?” he asked in his usually enthusiastic voice, which I could have also interpreted as sarcasm. Everypony in the office could see by my stomping how it went. But I knew Nightjar good enough to know, that he was just oblivious. So I just shot him a death glare. Being oblivious was not a good excuse after all. “This old coot sends me to the Crystal Empire to write a traveler’s guide!” He simply smiled at me, that idiot. “And this is a bad thing? I heard that the Crystal Empire is breathtaking at this time of year. Vacation is hardly a punishment at all. You need to start to relax, Pressie.” Let it be known that he is the only one in my department who has the permission to call me that. Despite being a huge pain in the flank sometimes, he is still a good friend of mine. Believe it or not, me ranting at him was quite normal. He took it in stride, when I was in such a mood, knowing well that I didn’t mean the things I said. That’s why he usually kept his cool and this helped me cool down too. So I took my anger out on him more often than I should have. I then stood up defiantly and inched my face closer to his, a stern look on my face and whined. “I was so close! So close on a scandal which could have turned my bad luck around! But now that…that sister of FEATHERBRAIN is taking it over!” His cool demeanor vanished slightly at that and he took the role of a strict teacher instead. “I’m a Pegasus too, as well as my daughter, you know? You really shouldn’t use such expressions. It’s discriminating. What would Zipporwhill say if she heard her godaunt use such words.” I sighed and hung my head slightly in shame. This was probably the only thing I had to avoid in his presence, and as much as it hurt me to say it…he was right. “Yeah…I know. It’s just so infuriating! I was working so hard for it! Using all my contacts and pulling some all-nighter’s even! And now they are taking it from me!” Nightjar shot me a reassuring smile. “Hey. I know that you can make an even better story than her. A lot bigger than anything all the others here could pull off. You have the abilities to pull through this crisis and get stronger through it than you have been before. I mean you are Press Pass after all, right?” I sighed in defeat, before I let a slight smile tug on my lips. “Yeah…right. But you still owe me your shirt!” He laughed heartedly. “That’s the spirit!” After that was said he pulled his black shirt over his head and gave it to me. “You know my dresser is bulging at the seams with your shirts. Maybe you should stop betting your own shirts so often. I don’t think Helia likes the idea that your whole wardrobe is stashed in my dresser.” Nightjar just waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about it! My wife is fully supporting this!” I just shook my head. “THAT just sounded so wrong. You know that, right?” A devious smile began to creep on my face. “Maybe I should discuss that matter with her directly.” After a small nervous laugh and him stuttering his way out of my verbal trap we said our goodbyes. I had a train to catch after all. I didn’t hear Nightjar mutter, as I stepped out of his reach. “How am I going to explain another lost shirt to my wife? Maybe the ‘a-dog-has-eaten-my-shirt- excuse’ still works?” I looked out of the window on my comfortable seat in the train to the Crystal Empire. My suitcase was occupying the seat beside me. The snowfall outside the window was a clear indication that I was getting closer to my destination, and I already formed some plans inside my head. Cadance or Shining Armor probably have plenty of skeletons in their closet. Of course they are well hidden and I need to advance in their private chambers, which means essentially breaking into the Crystal Castle, a building I never entered before and where I don’t know the layout of, and I didn’t even account the unknown abilities of the crystal guards there. Who knows if they are as easily deceived like the Canterlot ones? Best thing would be to observe the guards first, as well as use my press pass (don’t laugh) to get a tour through the castle. Huh. Pretending to make the traveler’s guide might actually come in handy. It’s the perfect cover! I can’t wait to see the frowns on their faces! Not only the one on Cadance, but from Senior Editor as well! I’m feeling giddy just at the thought. He wronged me and he is going to regret that! I sighed dreamily. “Just like Nightjar said! I’m not going to give up. This is a chance and I’m going to use it! I can get stronger and milk this situation for all it is worth, finding out every little dirty secret of the Crystal Empire! Cause I am Press Pass! Be prepared! I’m on my way to show you losers what a real journalist can do!” With the spirit of optimism followed a catchy tune. I felt it. A heart song was incoming. I decided to let myself be swept away with it. No use in fighting something. Especially since I felt so relieved. The window is open, so’s that door Press Pass won’t wait anymore Who knew this was such a shiny place? I’m stepping out into the town And I know who’s going to frown Finally I’m blowing up a scandal There’ll be actual real live scandals This scandal is totally out of range But wow, am I so ready for this to change Cause for the first time in forever My name will be known throughout town For the first time in forever I’ll be making those fools frown I’m not deflated or turned down But I’m showing who’s the boss in town Cause for the first time in forever I will make them frown I can’t wait to meet my fate (gasp) What if I meet… it? Today imagine me equipped and all Stealthily leant against the wall The picture making equipment in my hoof Ooh! I suddenly see it standing there The scandal of a lifetime, just right there I’m gonna stuff some film in my cam And then I get chased over the roof Which is totally bizarre Exactly like the life I’ve lived so far For the first time in forever There’ll be scandals on the run For the first time in forever I’ll be ruining their fun And I know it is totally crazy To dream I’d find the fame But for the first time in forever They will all know my na-“ Suddenly the train doors closed. I was standing just outside it, but my suitcase… Well that was a different story. “Hey! My suitcase!” I complained as the train suddenly dragged it with it, not even considering to let me have my bag. I could only stare helplessly after it. There even seemed to be a pony hanging helplessly on a train door. I could only make the blob faintly out in the distance. Not that I paid it any heed. I had other problems. “BUCK!” I cursed, as my mind wandered to my lost equipment. Luckily I didn’t bet my shirt on my suitcase alone. (Nightjar seems to be rubbing off on me, if I start using his stupid phrase by now.) I quickly took inventory. Needed to make sure I still had some means to fulfill my mission after all. I slowly lifted my head and pulled some cameras out from under it. Nightjar often mocked me a little, calling me a magician, who could pull cameras out of her hat. Ha ha. Very funny, Nightjar. It didn’t bother me much though. He had a strange sense of humor after all and I got used to it pretty quickly. I then inspected the camera that was held through a metal contraption neatly around my neck. It was also good to go. After making sure I had all I needed, I made my way to the Crystal Palace. No need to waste any time, after all. I had a reputation to rebuild! I just made my way out of the station, when suddenly… SPLASH! …an orange Pegasus Pony decided it was a good idea to buck with me. He ran straight in a puddle, which resounded in the mentioned splash and me being soaked on my side. I of course answered this situation with as much eloquence as possible. "Come back here chicken wing, or I'll feed you to the Griffins!" Yeah, eloquence in my own way. I remember the one time I swore in ears reach of my godchild, Zipporwhill. She learned more than a few new colorful words on that day. I on the other hand learned how soap tastes. It doesn’t taste good. Not even if it is daisy flavor. A lesson I learned the hard way. Note to myself: Never anger Helia. Every time I think about this incident, I swear I could still taste the soap. Ugh. Probably influenced me since the taste didn’t fade for three whole days! Can you imagine everything you eat tasting like soap? It was hard not to throw up every time I started to eat something. I avoided Helia for the complete next month, and I would still do it, would it not be for Nightjar and Zipporwhill. Just between us. She is the one who wears the pants in their family, not Nightjar. Ugh. Another clothing idiom. I really need to distance myself from him more often, or one day I might even start wearing shirts! Well, I already have a dresser full of it, now that I think about it… I just shook my head. Stupid. And there was something else. Now that I thought about it. Something quite strange, if I think about the puddle. It was the only puddle around. Everything else was dry. It didn’t look like it had rained recently. This could only mean… I angrily squinted at the heaven, gesturing with my hoof to my eyes, and then to the heaven in a silent threat. And decided then that a silent threat wouldn’t be enough. “Yo, big guy! Better watch your writing up there, or I might make a home visit again!” Suddenly the world around me seemed to shudder. I took that as my cue to continue. He understood, and that’s all I could ask for at the moment. I walked along the road once again, but personally I might as well check in a hotel now to get cleaned up. I could look out for the obnoxious orange guard afterwards. As I walked further, I attentively observed my surroundings, occasionally looking through windows of the crystal houses on my way. My hoof ready to let my camera shoot, if necessary. Be always ready. Number one rule of a good scandal journalist. I then came to a halt, as I spotted a special pony in a building. General Wate Ain Sea! A rather interesting development. He was one of the most mysterious celebrities around. A lot of gossip surrounds him about great feasts that he has committed, as well as a tendency to act slowly and casual. But even this didn’t prevent him to have a success rate of one hundred percent of all the special orders he gets from the princesses. I even heard he had once the mission to entice the daughter of the Dragon Lands in order to sweeten a treaty in favor of Equestria! No matter the cost! He seemed to take that quite serious, if the rumors are to be believed. Hay, I don’t want to know what went on in their bedroom that night. I mean, alone because of the size difference. Just, ugh to these rumors. I didn’t need that mental image! But yeah, there is still a leftover spark of curiosity still in me, but that is only natural for a full-blood journalist like me. Hm…now that I think about it…this could still be a nice juicy scandal! Hay, if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade! No matter how depraved the lemons are! …What? At least this was no clothing idiom! But to get back on track. He probably holds a ton of secrets, which only wait to get unraveled! I should definitely look into this too! Who knows if I ever get such a chance again! I quickly strutted into the building without thinking. My body was faster than my brain because… …I walked into a spa. I hate spas. More than anything. Even more than broccoli. And broccoli is my number one enemy. Down with broccoli. Celestia knows, if I would rule this dump, I would raise the great age of prohibition. The prohibition of broccoli! This also concludes that I would do the same with spas. Don’t ask me why Nightjar is a supporter of this. The old wuss! Just the thought of a hooficure makes me shudder. So it’s just a waste of money if you ask me. I have my shower and a brush. There is no need for more. Problem here, I couldn’t back out now! This was a chance and I would not just let it slip! Reason enough that I resigned myself to my fate. I only sighed as I made my way to the counter and tried to act as spa friendly as possible. Don’t want to look suspicious now, right? The General would find me out immediately otherwise. He was no amateur after all. With a fake smile on my lips I greeted the spa employee. “Hey there. I’m here for a full treatment. Probably would do wonders for my mane too.” The one behind the counter gasped dramatically. “Diz not a mane! Diz is a bird’s nest!” She then ushered me forceful into the spa area. She then said, that she would get a comb. She came back with a rake. I probably should feel insulted right now. Meh. I really don’t bother to take care of my hair that much, so there is that. And there are far worse things to encounter in a spa. One of the other spa workers could at least convince her to lay the rake down and at least give the comb a try. I just ignored their ramblings, concentrating on my mission. And seeing the general walk straight out of the spa. Figures. Frustration was boiling inside me again. I mean, how can I have such a luck, and then at the same time such a misfortune? Finding the legendary general in a spa? Quite the story. He leaves before I can do anything. Not that great. The hard pulling of the comb through my hair didn’t help matters. I felt like they were trying to pluck every single strand of my mane out! And Nightjar is wondering why I avoid places like this like the plague. I was by that time thinking about following the General, but just as I thought that, I felt a slight pull on my mane. She was taking something out of it. “What is thaz?” I turned my head to look at what she was holding. It were my two deadly weapons for self-defense. Another mare from the staff took a look at them before a grin formed on her muzzle. “Those are water blasters,” she said in barely hidden amusement. Ok, not that deadly, but they were not water blasters! They just looked like it! Fools. But this probably meant that the disguise worked. It was always good to have a trump up one’s sleeve. And my trump were weapons that didn’t look like it. Having the element of surprise is the crucial factor for a swift victory. That’s why I just ignored their remark and ordered them to return them back to their storage place in my hair. She shuddered at that for some reason. A grimace was already forming on her face at my command. But hey, I might need these, if I get into trouble. Not that anything could go any more wrong than it already has. But now I digressed, which lead to me groaning inwardly. The general was gone by now. I just had to ask my way around town to find him again. But at this time I should probably prioritize, which story I want to do first. Maybe I sh- “Hey there! I wondered if I could try out the crystal mud bath.” I lifted my head at this new voice and saw an unfamiliar Unicorn stallion with a majestic, expensive looking red cape at the counter. Huh. Instantly one question roams my mind. Who is that guy? “Would you please follow us, Miss Shine?” asked a guard in a harsh tone. “Horseapples!” I shouted angrily. I took a look around me. I was surrounded by three guards with unknown capabilities. Seems like I have to deal with the crystal guards sooner than expected and it is all Sombra’s fault! How could I have missed THAT! The cape, the crown, the creepy eyes… It was so obvious in hindsight! I should have known. And know, because of my own inattentiveness I was surrounded by a few guards. I had enough luck that the bulk of the guards were after Sombra. I snarled. Sombra! I took a calming breath. My focus had to be on the guards now. I don’t have time for distraction. Who knows how well trained they are after all! “Please follow us Miss,” repeated a purple crystal guard. I just stood there defiantly. “And what if I don’t?” I know, a cliché line, but I wanted to gauge their reaction. Were they getting nervous, angry or stay professional? Would there be a witty retort? I certainly didn’t expect the remark that came, though. “What should we do now?” asked the purple crystal guard its peers nonplussed. They only looked at him in confusion. Grey coat answered him. “Why are you asking me this? Ask our Lieutenant!” “Our Lieutenant just chased after Sombra! What do you expect me to do!?” hissed purple back. “I don’t know. Maybe use reason?!” I doubt any of you possess that. Not that I’m complaining. The third blue guard was so captivated by their little argument, that he didn’t pay any attention to me. I meanwhile used the momentum to casually walk away from them. Crystal guards seem to be idiots! Of course I made sure I was ready, in case they finally would notice my absence, but that didn’t seem to be the case. I was well out of reach in a short time and ready to pursue my arc nemesis. Arc nemesis you wonder? Everypony who destroys willingly my cameras becomes my arc nemesis. Actually, scratch that. Even the ones who unwillingly destroy my camera get verbally slaughtered by me. The rivalry just ends a lot sooner than with most of the willing delinquents, who are more ready for an assault. I was brought out of my thoughts by the rather rough landing of a guard in front of my hoofs and a shrill girly shriek in the air. I tried to follow the noise with my eyes, only to see the object of my hatred sailing right through the air. Not one to let good opportunities slide, I took out my camera readied it, zoomed in on my victim and… “Freeze!” I groaned, as two new guards circled me and stood directly in front of my lens, their spears already pointing at me. “You are under arrest for assaulting a guard,” said one of the two. I just snorted at that. “Something funny?” asked one of the unamused guards. “Yeah. He fell out of the sky. So you can’t blame me for that!” Yeah. Sometimes the truth is the worst answer you can give. The answer that life uses to buck with you in every possible way and position. I’m almost perfect, but not completely, hence me being in a frustrated state might lead to my ramblings being the nails to my own coffin. And those two guards already got into a fighting stance. But they are nothing I can’t handle. “Do you really think we would believe such an obvious lie?” I didn’t even think about answering his question. It would only be a waste of time, and I did not have the time. I had to take a photo of Sombra before he was captured or killed. Preferably the latter. What do you think the picture of him is worth if it is the only one taken before his demise? I quickly reared on my front hooves, using the momentum to fling the two inkpots from the stowage in my hind shoes in a round line directly to the sides of my head. At the same time I took my blasters in my telekinetic grasp, bringing them likewise to the side of my head. The ink pots were flying towards the blasters and were with a resounding click directly attached to them. With that I was ready to go. “Ink blasters – Octopus Style!” I roared as I shot at the two annoying guards. One shot, one hit. “MY EYES!” were they both wailing like little foals on the floor and I just smirked before working my magic to restrain their blind, flailing bodies, before putting their forms with a simple knock on the head to sleep. Afterwards I simply hoisted them with my magic into a bush to hide their unmoving bodies from any curious eyes. It was too easy. Those guards were like foals. Take them their sight and they would zip around like a bunch of frightened chicken. Not that I complain. It was easier that way. No need to waste any more resources than needed after all. I then wiped the little trickle of sweat from my brow. Those guys were heavy after all. Dead weight you could say. “That took care of them.” I then heard the faint sounds of magic. I turned in the direction and saw Sombra getting embraced in a dark ball, before bouncing to the ground. I could see it bounce a few times after that, as its bouncing brought its height slightly over the height of the buildings, which were blocking my sight. I could see that he was heading to the center of the Crystal Empire. I knew, that I wouldn’t have anymore time and sprinted of towards the palace. Can’t just let this chance go to waste after all. I was just arriving at the center of the Crystal Empire. And like it seems at the right time. There was a huge gathering of crystal ponies and guards. Most of the guards were placed in front of the Crystal palace and I therefore avoided this specific area and tried to position myself opposite from the palace. I made sure to use the crowd of crystal ponies as a mean to hide myself and to get a good place for the spectacle, which will undoubtedly occur. There were so many guards for a reason. I could already smell the exciting lemony scent of a freshly baked scandal! Yeah, scandals smell and taste lemony. More so the ones on the receiving end. So you could say that the lemons idiom has some truth to it. For myself this is more a refreshing taste, and I was ready to get a good taste of this victory! As I pressed myself to the front row of the ponies, I could slowly recognize a familiar figure. All too familiar. Actually I would have loved to pound his face right then and there, but I was holding myself back for the photo of the scandal of a lifetime. I must not fall to my mere instincts, which would undoubtedly ruin this moment. I concentrated on my prey, camera perfectly into position in my blue magical aura and scanning the scene in front of me. Sombra was conversing with Cadance! This is going to be good! I already started feeling slightly giddy in anticipation. A notepad levitated out of my hair with a quill. I just had to get every JUICY detail of this conversation noted down! “And what is this! A heart-shaped butt tattoo? Sorry, but you can’t be serious! Just take a look at me!” He then presented his fangs, while pointing at them. “These make me look like a villain as well as,” he then pointed to his horn, “this nice red little horn,” then he pointed at his coat, “dark sinister fur,” and then he pointed at his flank, as he lifted his cape to present it, “and I don’t even need to tattoo my butt! Just look at my well-toned flank!” He shook his flank enticingly at the princess! I had to say, he sure was giving me a show. “Oh yes! Shake your smoking hot flank a little more!” I said ecstatically, drooling slightly, as I was in some kind of half trance, shooting photos all the while. The crowd around me meanwhile thinned out a little. The crystal ponies backed away from me. I could see in my peripheral vision, that they stared at me awkwardly and some even with some blushes on their shiny little faces. Wimps. Even one confused pony raised an eyebrow at me. “What are you looking at?” Not that I cared. Those ponies just seem to be unable to appreciate the art of this unbelievable, invaluable shots! But what can you expect from Stone Age Ponies? They probably still use flintstones to make fire! Not to mention what they understand by art. Probably stone, pardon crystal wall doodles. Would that make them Crystal Age Ponies? Nah! That doesn’t sound ancient enough for them. But to get back, I just cheered silently at this whole situation I was in, and spurred him on to continue. “Oh by Celestia! YES! Stick your flank right in the princesses face! Oh my god! YES! I’m so going to get famous all around Equus for this!” Of course maybe not that silent, but I made sure to be quiet enough, so that only the crowd around me could make it out. Wouldn’t want to interrupt this most scandalous of scenes now, would I? It then came down to some other interesting events. Fighting! Or more like he annoyed the princess so much with his whole obnoxiousness that she decided to burn him another flank hole. It was actually quite amusing and satisfactory in a way that cannot be properly described. Bonus points for this photos, but I had to admit that his accusations were also quite amusing. I was rolling with laughter on the floor as he accused her of being a tyrant and holding her husband, who he thought was her brother, as a slave. It was quite hard to shoot photos while my sides hurt like crazy from all the laughter, but I still managed. I’m a professional after all. Huh… Come to think of it, why are there only so few Alicorns? Maybe this means that his claims hold some truth? Note to myself: Look into it! Another interesting thing was that Sombra revealed to have a taste for comics. What a pathetic hobby! But that wasn’t the most interesting thing that happened. The princess herself is nothing more than a huge comic nerd! Of course I will need to gather more concrete evidence later. For now I first had to develop this baby of a film! Everything just seemed too good to be true. And in the end it was. Just then I thought it couldn’t get better he pointed a hoof at me. “Ok, Miss Shine, time to get this party started!” A few seconds later a few dozen guards were on top of me. ”Horseapples!“ I shouted in indignation as I tried to free myself. “Yeah! Get her guards!“ I could hear Sombra shout, as he struck some stupid pose to taunt me. “See, Miss Shine?! That’s what you get for taking photos of me!” I was livid. My face turning a bright red of anger. Steam shooting out of my nostrils. My face a pure mask of unrestrained rage, as I swore him revenge for this. “BUCK YOU!“ I shouted before guards blocked my view off of him. “Shadow Ball, Soaring Crystal: Pinball Combo!” was the next thing I could hear slightly muffled under the pile of guards I was lying under. Suddenly a huge black ball crashed into the pile I was in. I could see it smash my camera on the building behind me. “MY CAMERA!” I shouted, as I watched the ball bouncing off the building before impacting with the palace and bouncing off again. I could only stare helplessly after it, as the guards were slowly getting up and a few more surrounded me, blocking off my exit. A sudden flash of light then washed over me. It was giving me a rather warm feeling and my coat begun to shine in a rather sparkly fashion. It was way too tacky for me, I wonder how I not puked all other the place at its tackiness, but I had other things to worry about. I was soon led away by the guards, and rather roughly I might add. “You can’t do this to me! This is a clear case of guard brutality!” I chastised them, but they didn’t seem to be listening. “I know my rights!” And again I was met with deaf ears. And that’s how I was led into the palace to be locked away and interrogated. Back to the present I sighed. Enough of all this reminiscent stuff. I shook my head, before starting to search through my tail. “Come on. I know you are in there.” My face lit up immediately as I found the picklock hidden in my tail and soon a grin adorned my face. They might have taken my hat, but they didn’t search my mane and tail. How foolish of them. I quickly picked the lock and stepped out of my cell. My hat lay together with my shoes simply in a shelf outside the cell. I picked it up and set it back on my head, as well as tie my pair of sneaking shoes on my hoofs. Pretty stupid of them to just leave it in an open shelf like that in front of the cells, but I was already beyond questioning their stupid actions. Especially since I benefit from them. Better to concentrate on the here and now. I was inside the palace now after all! And what better opportunity than fish for some evidence of that comic scandal, as well as for some information on Sombra? I could only hope that he escaped the blast, or else I would have lost my only chance of getting a good shot of him. Of course this sinister thoughts wouldn’t help me now. I had to concentrate. I slowly made my way to the dungeons entrance, thinking about the mission in front of me. “Time to roam the palace for a real story!” POV: Author A satisfied sigh escaped my lips. I finally managed to get this chapter done. I was still slightly annoyed that I had to write it, but Press Pass would probably leave me alone for now. I stood up from my bed and made my way to the door and opened it… …only to get the scare of my life, as Press Pass suddenly stands in front of me. “Gah!” I jumped slightly, holding my hand over my bumping heart in my chest. Sweat slowly formed on my brow. “If you continue on like this, I might end up with a heart attack, like one of my relatives.” I responded still slightly agitated. “You don’t have a heart condition and a heart attack is not something you can bequeath. So calm down you wimp!” “I still might get one, if this moves on. But let’s forget about that for now. More importantly, what are you doing here? I hope you were satisfied with my work. You even got your own musical number!” “My musical number was rudely interrupted and furthermore you caused me some distress in this chapter,” she said, as she started to glare at me. “Is this still about the puddle? Don’t you think it is possible, that a Crystal Pony was emptying some water for cleaning out of its window?” I sighed as her glare didn’t falter. “I’m not going to change it. But I guess you can have your revenge on the Pegasus later though. Just try to think of it as a struggle, ok? People love struggling. It makes the following victory a lot sweeter!” She started to smirk. Glad she would fall for such a simple trick. “Well, glad that you get it know. It must end with me having a victory. What would be the point of the story, if I would come out of it emptyhoofed?” She then squinted her eyes and grimaced, as she took a look at the color of my walls, which were a vibrant yellow. I grinned satisfactory. “You like it?” “It is way too early in the day to deal with such a vibrant yellow.” “Says the yellow Unicorn,” I deadpanned. “Seriously. You and your obsession with this color. It might be nice, but you are overdoing it.” “In which way is wearing yellow every single day of my life, painting my room and ATV yellow, eating yellow bananas, as well as buying yellow blankets obsessive?” … “Seriously?” She then shook her head and turned around to leave. “Just keep my dialogue up and give me some major victory in the next chapter.” I just stared after her, before sighing. ”She really seems to think that she is the protagonist now.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Maybe I should have never written this chapter.”