*Beep... beep... beep... beep...*
The high-pitched repeating sound is too predictable to belong to a bird. It's coming from afar. That, or it is dampened by something. Everything is warm, dark, and soft.
Breathe in, breathe out.
My slow breathing feels like hot water trickling and spreading through me, stream by stream filling my lungs, all four legs down to my hooves, and throughout my whole body. The quiet world of comfortable nothingness only punctuated by repetitive beeping is disrupted again, this time by a deeper, hushed noise.
"You have been sitting here every day, miss. I know what's happening is a miracle, nonetheless the chances of him waking up after mere week here are slim to none. If somepony suffered burns like these AND woke up ever before I saw this, I would be hundred percent sure they must have a guardian angel. With recovery like this, at least physical, I am sure magic is at work. Earthpony strength and stamina or not, this is naturally impossible. He was a charred lump when you brought him here. The only reason I bothered to help instead of ending his life out of mercy was because you did such a good job putting all the fires out and he was still breathing."
"We had all the equipment still ready from, you know, the barracks... so we foamed him, and the sargeant used to be a military emergency medic. She used her magic to at least prevent the foam from poisoning him. Is it possible her spell saved him completely?"
"Such burns would kill a pony, magic or not. Maybe, if princess Celestia herself was there, used a stasis spell on him, and then had days to focus her magic and heal him he would turn out like this."
"But she wasn't, and he is here, breathing and recovering."
"As I said - a miracle. Sometimes these things happen, nopony knows how or why. Patients surviving fatal diseases, survivors of mental trauma returning to the real world, and so on. Although I must admit that living after taking so much visible physical damage both internal and external is something else, regenerating this fast doubly so."
The soft warmth around my leg presses further, as if the comfy coccoon I'm in was pushed from the outside.
"So, you shouldn't be alive," says the sad, contemplative voice coming from a distance.
Strange. Why would anypony say that? Everypony should have a chance. There is nopony so bad that they 'should not be alive', nopony beyond saving. But...
...there are some not worth the effort.
I twitch, and memories start flooding back to me. Fire, fire everywhere. Sobbing ponies staring paralyzed at the burning barracks, their precious memories disappearing in flames. Hundred or so guards losing the place they lived in, the rooms for two each of them made into a little piece of home away from home. All lost because of a stupid mistake by me, not anypony else. I had nothing, and yet I took away so much of theirs.
That leaves me with only one thing to say:
"Ai knou."
"Huh?" the female voice responds to my exhausted admission.
"Ai burnd d barraks," I sniffle, tears stinging salty paths through my sensitive skin, "Ai left d furnes greit open wen Peersing Heet keim. Eet-"
"Whoa whoa, slow down," she says and I hear a chair being dragged away, "The fire didn't start in the boiler room."
What?
Wait, what?
"Uugh..." I open my eyes and moan as white light assaults me. My leg trying to shield me from it is stopped by something wrapped around me. I make a second attempt.
"Stop struggling," says a firm male voice previously talking to the mare, and something cold and wet is put on my face. The warm feeling all over is growing uncomfortable as I wake up further, but the soothing cold draped over the top of my head helps a ton.
I stop moving.
"Did you..." the mare hesitates, "did you really think you caused it? Is that why you set yourself on fire?" slow shock and disbelief creeping into her voice.
How to explain?
"D gards lost deir importent tinks cos of mee. Ai hurt dem. Ai tought dey wud feel bettr eef d uan woo deed eet ended d seim. Uan of dem wonted justeets and seid eet shud hef been mee on fair. Gards nou wot justeets meens."
A sniffle that isn't mine.
More sniffling as the chair is dragged again, and the mare sitting by my bedside's hoofsteps grow distant until they fade completely.
"That was... incredibly foolish," the stallion who has to be a doctor comments, "Both doing what you did, and saying what you said. It might cause the young guardsmare some issues with her chosen vocation. Guards are ponies too, prone to make mistakes and saying things they don't mean in the heat of the moment."
"Ai burnd deir houm," I mumble, "And Grei Shrain sed she needed moar speis for d betponees or she wud bee een troubl end Ai burnd ol she hed. End rait aftr she sed Ai wos gud enuff."
"Sargeant Grey Shrine. Yes, she came to visit you during the week."
"She shuld not weist her taim..."
"Heh, I know that firecracker. She wouldn't bother with something unimportant. Speak of the devil," he coughs, "Good evening, sargeant."
Multiple sets of hoofsteps enter what I'm gradually starting to believe is a... room.
"How is he, doc?" a voice I can identify now that I'm almost awake is Grey Shrine's.
"About as good as when you asked in the morning, but with more talking now."
"I see," her voice grows colder, "Why did you do it, Greyscale?"
"I said he-" the mare previously talking to me starts, but is cut off immediately. It was Eclipse. She's so nice. I always liked when she said hello while passing by.
"I want to hear it from him," Grey Shrine says through gritted teeth. She is trying to be measured and control herself, but I can feel the boiling anger.
It's time to face the music. The least I can do is admit I did it, because my attempt at appeasing the guards with my pain quite obviously failed.
"Ai burnd d barraks."
"Funny," is her snarky response, "I guess I'm gonna have to kick the ass of some ponies from the forensic team for giving me a false report then."
"Ummm..."
"Alright, now listen, and listen carefully, you idiot!" she leans down to my ear, "The fire started in the storeroom where spare blankets and other cloth, thus very flammable, supplies ar- were. The heat pipes leading from the boiler were older than Celestia herself. Some sparks just went the wrong way and got out through a crappy seal or something, I'm not an engineer. You had NOTHING to do with the fire."
"But Ai left d greit open..."
"Yeah?" she raises her voice, making me flinch, "So what? The boiler room was BUILT so no fire could come from there. There was basically a single piece of furniture in the whole room made of STONE AND CONCRETE. The freaking princess could summon the sun there and nothing would happen!"
"Ai..."
I don't know what to say.
"Who was the idiot that said you should have burned to death instead of the barracks?"
"Ai dont nou."
"TELL ME!"
"Ai dont nou."
"Look at me."
I open my eyes and blink away the tears.
Grey Shrine is scowling at me. Two more faces, one brown rimmed with red and orange mane and one dark blue with strands of shimmering white falling down from her forehead join hers. The white ceiling, soft blanket, and hushed noises coming from outside of the room tell me I must be in a hospital somewhere. The beeping and various wires and tubes coming from under my blanket just polish the image.
"I guessed you were not right in the head," Shrine says slowly, "but I didn't expect this."
"Soree."
"Just... just have a good rest."
Something forces itself to be remembered.
"Wot about d yooneecorn in d fair?"
"Huh?"
"Ai met a yooneecorn wen Ai wos insaid d barraks. Deed he get aut?"
"Nopony went in or out aside from you," Grey Shrine shakes her head, "I think you were just half unconscious from the smoke and fumes."
"Okey," I nod. She must be right, she is not me. So, now that I seem like I should be able to walk again soon I should get back to work... somewhere, "Wot do Ai do nau, mem?"
Shrine breathes a heavy sigh.
"You have violated several castle health protocols-"
"Soree."
"Shut up! Such lapse of judgement coming from an employee of the crown calls for a sick leave."
"Ai just kleen d-"
"Shhh," Piercing Hit's soft brown underhoof lands on my mouth.
"Thank you," Shrine nods, "You are a castle employee, and as such you are entitled to some... things. Anypony questioning the time of me signing your new contract and the time of the fire can talk to my hoof first. You didn't hear anything, doc," she gives the stallion a side glance.
"Hear what?" he chuckles.
"Good," Shrine turns to me again, "Unfortunately, the severity of your actions warrant an indefinite detention in a mental facility."
"Em Ai krayzee?"
"Yes-" Shrine is cut off by Eclipse.
"No! You are just... a little naive. The... vacation will give you time to think about things and pull yourself together."
"Soree for scareeng yoo," I nuzzle Piercing Hit's hoof still brushing against my head. She looks devastated. She must have lost something really important in the fire. I'm glad it wasn't my fault.
"EHM!" Shrine coughs loudly, "The institute where you will be recovering is the Border Glade Home in lower Canterlot. A carriage will be sent for you as soon as your physical health is deemed satisfactory."
"Okey."
"Considering the rate of your recovery," the doctor examines the various beeping machines around, "I think you could leave in the morning. And," he looks at Shrine, Eclipse, and Piercing, "you should let him rest."
They nod, say their goodbyes, and leave, accompanied by the doctor. The room sinks into darkness lit only by the specks of light coming from Canterlot city through the window.
If they say I need rest then I should get some sleep.
There is nopony aside from a nurse waiting for me when I wake up. She helps me wash up, careful not to irritate the now carpet-short hair of my coat. Hey, at least I don't have to cut my mane again since the purple's all gone in the flames. My reflection in the mirror shakes his head and facehoofs.
I agree. All this is unnecessary for me. I can walk and that means I can be useful for somepony. I just need to think things through a little more next time. The nurse leads me out of the infirmary wing of Canterlot castle.
The carriage on the road near the castle entrance lets me in through a door in the back which clicks when I sit on a soft bench inside. It's comfortable, even the walls are padded, and the door is super safe because when I experimentally try to open it it doesn't budge. Amazing, I can't slide out even if I fall asleep during us driving up a steep incline.
I try really hard not to think about the thick bars on the side windows.