It was hard to smile today. Hard to feel any semblance of joy or bliss. She wanted to smile. She wanted to feel anticipation about returning to that wonderful world. She was no longer torn with the grief she had felt before but, at the moment, she felt no better now than she did then. She wanted to smile.
Instead, she was full of apprehension. Full of fear. Full of grief. Full of regret.
What would happen when she returned? If she returned. Would the world be as it was? Waiting for her with open arms, willing to forgive her, to accept her. Would she be shunned? Forced to never again see that dream world of wonder. How would he react?
Would the world even be there?
For several minutes, Sunset stared at the cover of book and the image of Pooh. She thought she had resolve. Thought she had managed to give in to her humility, to go back and ask for forgiveness even if she had to crawl on her knees. That was how she felt. But she was still afraid to lose everything she had already thrown out. She had made a mistake and it had cost her friendship.
She wanted it all back. Wanted to mend whatever wounds she had caused. To fix everything. But could she? This was a world made out of the mind of a child. Both simple and complex all at once. She had no way to predict anything.
Sunset thought about her other friends. Once more, they had helped to bring her out of the pit of despair. They had shown her friendship. But this time, they did not know how they had helped her or the reason for her despairing state. She had not told them.
When they had come over, her friends had done so to be there for a lonely friend. What they had found was a friend bereaved over her own doubts, fears, and mistakes. They had spent the day with her and had helped to cheer her from her dark mood. But she had not told them of the world of imagination, of Winnie-the-Pooh. She could not.
She had let them in but had opened her broken heart to them only so much. They knew of her troubles to understand friendship and her loneliness. They knew of the stress she had been under lately to find her place in the world she lived in. They knew of her struggle to know and understand her very self.
But what of Pooh? The mistakes she had made in Pooh’s world had been her own. Her friends had not been involved. They had been her mistakes and hers to amend. It was she who needed forgiveness from Pooh.
Besides, would they even believe her if they heard about the world? They had seen stranger things perhaps. But for now, Sunset needed to make amends before anything else.
She looked herself over one last time to make sure she was ready and mentally steeled herself. Finally, she opened the book, turning straight to her last parting with Pooh.
Though afraid that nothing would happen, the world went white.
The gentle breeze. The warm sun. The soft grass. Lush greens and the vast open world. Everything was still here. Still the same.
Sunset cast her gaze all about to see the world as she had left it, save for the lacking presence of Pooh. She had hoped to return and find the little bear waiting for her, but the thought was short lived the moment the white receded and the world came into view. She had hoped to pick up right where she had left off. But like her first parting, she had returned with time having passed.
All around, everything seemed relatively normal. The world seemingly unchanged. And yet, even as she looked the world over, things felt…different. She turned around to find the tree home of the child behind her. The window was still as dark as before. The home, just as empty and barren. At least one thing that was the same.
As she turned back to the forest, her senses continued to feel off. The line of tress below the hill seemed far off and almost appeared to step away as she stared. She looked down and felt the ground pull away from her, even as she reached down to touch the grass. Even the grass felt as though it cringed away as she brushed her hand across the natural carpet. The sun did not warm her as it once did and even the wind seemed to twist around her to avoid her.
Was it because of her? Had her actions affected the world so much that it cringed away? Was it truly hurt by what she had said and done? Or was she still pushing it all away? Was she still rejecting the world of imagination? Whether out of denial of the existence of such or out of guilt for stealing it away.
But, standing here would change nothing or fix anything.
Sunset steeled herself and charged straight down the hill into the withdrawing forest. Even as she ran, the path seemed to stretch and the trees kept their distance. But regardless of the distance between her and the world, guilt and regret were forefront in her mind. Numerous apologies ran through her mind as she ran through every conceivable in inconceivable scenario.
The path to Pooh’s home seemed to stretch for miles as the forest maintained its distance from her. It did not twist and turn as it did before. The trees, though distant, huddled together as though hiding the wonder that she had once beheld. But finally, the stout tree home came into view.
Tears of mixed emotions filled Sunset’s eyes and she charged ahead. But the world’s hurt continued to show as the pathway ahead seemed to close in, to block her from seeing Pooh. But still, she ran.
She opened her eyes to find herself in the small clearing in front of Pooh’s home. Everything was as she had seen it before, save once more for the lack of Pooh. Sunset cautiously made her way to the door to Pooh’s home and peered through a small window in the side. She reached out her hand to knock, hesitating for what felt like hours.
Her knuckles rapped on the door and she pulled on the string of the bell on the side. But she was met with silence. The echo of the knock quickly faded and the bell ceased its chiming after a short ring.
Nothing. She tried once more and was met with continued silence.
Tears flowed down her cheeks anew and Sunset struggled to keep from dropping to the ground. Her mind was filled with a storm as she tossed about numerous possibilities for where the stout little bear could be. Both positive and negative.
But a single sound brought her back from her near mad thoughts and even seemed to make the world feel a bit closer.
“Hallo!”
Sunset turned to the source of the greeting and saw a brown owl that had to be nearly half her height perched on the log in the center of the clearing.
“And who might you be?” the owl said.
A mix of worry and curiosity surged through her mind. She inwardly pleaded that the owl was another friend of Pooh and hardly cared that she was looking at another real animal rather than another stuffed toy. She hesitated to answer and stuttered when she finally did.
“I…I’m S-Sunset Shimmer.”
The owl tilted his head slightly to the right for a second then gave what Sunset assumed was supposed to be a smile. “Sunset Shimmer. What a delightful name. I am Owl. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Despite the warm greeting, Sunset found it hard to smile or do anything other than stare at Owl. She began to wipe her face of her tears but the disappointment of not finding Pooh hung with her. However good it was to find another friend, she had wanted to find Pooh first. She needed to find him.
She allowed herself a moment to look back at Owl who had tilted his head again. “Are you feeling well Sunset? You seem rather distraught. Are you lost?”
Lost. The word hung in Sunset’s ears before it met with other words that described how she felt. Lost, confused, guilty, angry, terrified, the list went on. Yes, she was lost. To call her distraught at being lost was the understatement of a lifetime.
“Have you seen Pooh?” she asked.
Owl tilted his head the opposite way. “I beg your pardon? You are speaking rather inarticulate. It is not proper for one to mutter when speaking. Could you repeat that?”
“Pooh! Winnie-the-Pooh! Short yellow bear who’s supposed to live here! Have you seen him? Please!”
Guilt and remorse were forefront in her mind once more as she realized she had just yelled, even if it were not out of any form of anger this time. Tears continued to flow down her face as she watched Owl’s head return to its normal position. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
Once more, Sunset recalled her days as a filly. A time when she was very young and had unknowingly wandered away from Princess Celestia during her early days as her student and found herself lost amongst the streets of Canterlot. Once more, she felt like a small filly, lost and crying out to strangers for help.
Something touched her back and returned her senses to her. She was sitting on the ground, having dropped to her knees, and she stared at the ground. She turned her head left to see Owl next to her, one wing wrapped around her and patting her on the back and a smile on his face.
“It is quite alright dear. Distressing times often causes one to act out of place.” He helped her up. “I do know Pooh and believe I know where last I saw him.”
Sunset could hardly suppress her joy and felt a smile cross her face. Owl took flight and landed on a tree down the path, waiting for her to follow. She did and Owl flew from tree to tree, leading the way and waiting patiently for Sunset to catch up before moving to the next tree.
It took some time before the two made their way out of the thicker part of the woods and into an open area. Memories of Pooh continued to flood Sunset’s mind as she stared at the tall tree that they passed where she and Pooh had attempted to procure honey from. The hole at the top still buzzed with the sound of the bee hive, prompting Owl to circle the area at a distance as he led Sunset on.
As the two continued to make their way through the woods, Owl was hardly quiet. He went on about several things from talking about relatives or telling stories of his own life. A few times he stopped as if struggling to recall the details of his tales but gradually went on to finish. Of course, Sunset hardly heard a word. The tales were long and Owl did drone as he spoke. But mostly, she was more focused on Pooh, though the present company did make thing easier.
Eventually, the two made their way out of the woods once more and to another clearing. Sunset moved around a tree to find Owl standing on the ground near a number of trees set in a circle. It was here that the strongest memories of Pooh flooded Sunset’s mind. A special place that Pooh had shared with her that had once been a special place between him and the child that once played with him.
As Sunset made her way to the trees, fighting to hold back her tears and keep from rushing forward, Owl simply stood in silence. Sunset came within a few feet of Owl who gave an odd smile before taking off into the sky. Though silent, she knew what he meant. Pooh was here.
But as she closed in on the trees, she hesitated. Her feet and legs felt like they had frozen and refused to move. Her hands trembled and held them close to her chest. Tears built up in her eyes, held back by a weak floodgate. But finally, she took another step followed by another as she managed to approach.
Within the circle was Pooh. The small yellow bear stared up at the sky with seemingly nothing on his mind and all but oblivious to the girl who had wandered upon him. His musings of nothing ceased finally and he turned to Sunset. But here, Sunset felt a tremor of fear as to how he would react.
“Hallo, Sunset Shimmer,” Pooh said.
The smile on his face brought back the warmth of the world. The grass gently bore her as it had before and the trees seemed to close in comfort her. Pooh waddled his way over and stood in front of Sunset, bearing a smile that said all was right with the world.
An eternity seemed to pass as Sunset was caught up in another emotional storm. Part of her trembled with fear that everything she saw and felt was little more than a ruse, the beginning of a nightmare. She wanted to run away from the inevitable pain of being forced to leave, even if the sendoff was meant to feel kind.
Another part wished nothing more than to apologize for everything and let in the warmth and comfort of the world. To let her sorrow be washed away by forgiveness and be accepted into the world once more. It was this part she gave in to.
With tears streaming down her face, Sunset dropped to her knees as Pooh wrapped his arms around her. Though she apologized profusely amid sobs, Pooh was silent. Yet despite his silence, Sunset had been forgiven.