Grimm grumbled and huffed. He hated sleeping on his back, and his back was itching something fierce.
He shifted and rolled to his side, the blanket slipped from him sending a slight chill over his chest. He mumbled under his breath and started to doze off again before opening his eyes in shock.
He knew his body, he knew the dream he’d just had… and this wasn’t his body and, no naked women meant it wasn’t a dream.
He lifted his head and blinked several times.
He was in a small room, and a horse was in a bed opposite him. A horse with a horn. And huge eyes that took up most of its face.
He gulped.
Eyes facing forward, not to the sides… that meant it was a predator. Or, maybe just not as hunted.
Wait. Why’m I asking about that unicorn when I’m sleeping in the same room as it? What if it wakes up and attacks me? Could I fend it off? I feel so weird, like I’m wearing a head harness and damn am I itchy. WTF, seriously… Uhm…
He looked to his blue hooves, propping him up now, the orange fur that covered him was real. Each hair had it’s own follicle and moved when he blew on them, sending a slight dull feeling that reminded him of when he’d get bored during high school and take his mechanical pencil and poke the hairs on his arm.
His foreleg. His shoulder. His wings.
What the unholy fuck shit ASSHAT!! Shit a fucking dick!
His wings opened and flung the covers off him as he scrambled to a sitting position and quietly looked himself over. His visions blurred slightly from the rushing adrenaline as he took in his body.
I have a fuck tail. Oh holy fuck; Tali’s gonna give me crap about chasing tail for years…
He rolled his eyes at the colors; blue with a red stripe.
“At least the colors are American-ish.”
The unicorn stirred slightly. He froze and nickered quietly, followed by a very loud winney as he covered the front of his muzzle with his hooves, stifling a shout as his hoof scratched his top lip.
Tali screamed as the sound of a horse terrified her awake. Not one to brag, but she was a minor equinophobiac, and seeing one mere feet away was enough to send her screaming, scrambling to the wall her bed was against.
A tingling sensation, to best describe it, traveled from her belly to her neck, head, then a flash of light appeared over her head as the horse stared at her.
A couple seconds later she noticed the horse had wings. A beautiful creature in it’s own right.
Without a thought the light left her and shot toward the winged horse, sending it through the wall its bed was against with a guttural shout.
Tali screamed and stood tall, back against the wall, only to slowly at first topple forward.
“N-no, no, no, no!”
She stretched her arms out to catch herself only to see brick red paws of some sort as she fell off the bed and chest planted onto the floor with an oof.
Grimm watched the horse across from him sit up and scream. He knew the voice all too well, but before he could react the horn on the unicorn’s head, Tali’s head, sparkled.
He was entranced by the light it gave off, until the light shot at him.
He closed his wings around his body like a shield as the light struck him, sending him through the wall and into a hallway. Wood and plaster rained upon him as he coughed and relaxed his wings.
“Oof!”
He heard Tali’s voice as his ears stopped ringing a couple seconds after he cleared the dust from his eyes.
He was lying in his side but easily sat up and took to his four hooves, looking around the hall to find a door.
He looked to his right and saw he crashed through right next to the door to their room and sighed, coughing lightly as he inhaled the last of the settling dust.
Taking a step forward he stumbled and barely caught himself, scrambling back to his hooves with a sigh as Tali screamed a lung full of air.
Tali placed the arms, legs, things below herself and pushed up with relative ease as she moved her legs into a sitting position and landed on her plot with a quiet yelp as she rocked and steadied herself, feeling a braided tail thwap against her thigh.
He looked at her tail, two colors intertwined in the braid that her tail was in.
Brown and white? Dear god… Oh no, Deer God?! I have legs, not arms… Wait, not deer…
She inhaled and screamed as she fell to her side and scrambled wildly, forcing herself into circles on the floor like a top.
She stopped and looked around, eyes wide and breathing in fast pants as she tried to understand what was happening.
There was a clicking sound that got her attention, she looked to see the door she didn’t notice earlier.
The knob clicked and moved. Rotated slightly. Rattled, just like her teeth were doing in fear and confusion.
The knob stopped and silence loomed.
Grimm looked at the door having managed to move his legs in a slow pattern to get him that far.
A knob for a horse? Fantastic, what am I supposed to do to open this thing?
He reached a foreleg up and wobbled as he reached and tried turning it with the tip of his hoof.
He pulled at it from the side, pushed it a couple times, and contemplated biting it before turning back to the hole he made when Tali the horse had thrown him through the wall… with her horn.
A grin crossed his muzzle as he turned back to the hole and crouched by the edge.
Lowering himself like a predator he felt his tail sway as he jumped through the gap, his rear legs propelling him as his wings opened.
“Heya, hornball!” he shouted as his wings caught air and sailed him through the room at a slight arc and cranium first into the wall over Tali’s bed.
He grunted and fell to her bed, bouncing and landing next to her, biting his tongue and yelping.
Tali screamed and thrashed her forelegs at the random horse that had just flown at her and called her horny before landing next to her and spitting some blood venom at her.
She began to spin in reverse circles again as the other horse sat up and whined into its hooves, a tear leaving his left eye.
Thudding feet pounded nearby and approached, sounding like a half dozen people were coming to her aid.
Maybe to fix her, maybe to save her from the vampire horse. Either way it was better than being with a horse, even if she was one too.
The door opened and two ponies looked at them in awe, glancing around the room and the ponies that occupied it.
“Now, what in tarnation…”
Grimm and Tali stopped and looked at the first to speak. A grey coated, white maned winged pony with green eyes and a wicker hat.
Yes, wicker.
“Hon, just stay calm,” she said in a soft voice, placing a hoof on the stallions shoulder, “Ah’m sure these here travelers’ve got a good reason fer bustin’ up the house’nd actin’ the fools.”
He glanced at her and inhaled a calming breath. “Ah’m Silent Melody, this’ my neighbor, Shockwave. We were havin’ a spot’a lemonade ‘fore ya started wreckin’ my humble home.”
Tali looked at Grimm and pointed a foreleg at him. “He’s trying ta eat me!”
The room fell into deep silence for a long few seconds before everypony, except Tali, burst into laughter.
“Well, that’s how we found ya both. Don’t reckon Ah know what a hoo-nym is, but maybe ya’d be better off askin’ on yer travels,” Silent Melody said placing a pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen table.
Grimm was nursing a slight bruise on his cheek from a random slip on some debris from his through the wall incident while Tali was trying intently to look at her horn every chance she could.
“So,” Grimm started as he watched the earth pony move the pitcher of juice from his back, from being perfectly balanced, to the table with his teeth in such grace even a human ballarina would frown in frustration.
“When you found us in the center of your town here, Dissonance, we wearing battle saddles -whatever those are- and asleep in the grass.”
“Right!” Shockwave cheered from the doorway to the living room wearing a cheerleader outfit, “now that you get it, we just wanna know, why y’all stopped here ta sleep when there’s a inn right in the way’a town or maybe inta the next village over.”
“Tali, stop crossing your eyes,” Grimm said as he watched the earth pony pour two cups of juice with ease using his forehooves before sliding them to the outsiders, “we have to get our bearings.”
“Bearings? Star poop! … Did I just say… anyway, what if we were bears and not horses?!” she asked loudly clapping her left hoof onto the table with a slight wince at the sharp pain.
“Well, if’n ya were bears, Ah don’t think we’d’a been so neighborly to ya.”
“Eeyup,” Shockwave mumbles cantering into the room dressed in a vest and boots.
Grimm looked her over and sneered in confusion. “Weren’t you just wearing… uh, nevermind,” he blinked his confusion away, “I’m a talking horse, bound ta be seeing things.”
“A pony, bub,” Silent Melody said. “Oi! Stop callin’ me Silent Melody. The name’s Melody!”
“Uhm… Okay,” Grimm responded to… Melody. I can’t believe this fourth wall breaking stuff.
“That’s better,” Melody said, even though that’s more of a mare’s name. “Hey! I don’t ask about your name, don’t even think of making fun of mine.”
“Who’re you talking to?” Tali asked looking at Melody with a quirked eyebrow.
“Oh, nopony. Just, settling some old discords.”
“Uhm, Ah think ya mean, ‘accords’, darlin’,” Shockwave said as she kicked Melody into the fetlock and glared at him.
“Oh, why yes, of course,” he mumbled under his breath, “my mistake, Dearest.”
“Dearest? I thought you were neighbors?” Tali asked squinting her eyes.
“And neighbors can’t have a little time, now and again?” Shockwave said softly, biting Meladies ear.
“M-E-L-O-D-Y! If you’re going to pluralize my name you- Mpgghggpplbt.”
“Sorry, he’s been a bit unstable lately,” Shockwave said as she grinned before clearing her throat. She pulled half her foreleg from Melody’s mouth and shook it dry as she looked at the glasses of lemonade. “Aren’t you going to drink up? It’s fresh.”
Shockwave sat next to Melody on the floor, the table reaching just below her ribcage as she poured herself a cup of juice. The yellow liquid sploshed in the pitcher as she set it back, however it didn’t seem to be getting any lower.
Grimm raised an eyebrow as he grasped the cup, absentmindedly, lifting it to his lips and drinking. “Grah!?”
Tali squaled in fear as a light appeared atop her head and launched itself at Grimm who was still reeling from the stinging sensation of liquid citric acid washing over his mouth and lip wounds.
“Now, calm down, filly,” Shockwave said placidly, “no need ta send him through another wall. Drink yer juice and calm down, please,” she emphasized.
The glow vanished, as did the spark of fear in Grimm’s eyes, as she looked calmly to the table.
“W-what are we?”
“Ponies, dear. I’m a pegasus, like lippy over there. This here, Melody, is an earth pony. Miss, you’re a unicorn and ya need ta stop blastin’ the house. Offensive magic has its place and inside ain’t one’a them.”
Tali sighed and gulped over the lump in her throat as she reached both forelegs out and took the cup between her hooves. She raised it to her lips and took a sip.
“...” she swallowed and smiled, “it tastes just like Crystal Light.”
“Magic darling, it’ll taste like whatever you want.”
Grimm raspberried. “I didn’t want battery acid.”
“Then you shouldn’t have poked yerself like a foal suckin its hoof. Now,” Melody said finishing his glass and exhaling happily. The scent of ammonia covered the table. “ya don’t seem like normal ponies. I ain’t seen a sober pegasi fly inta a wall like that, and missy, yer magic is about as useful as a bee stinger on a grasshopper.
“Ah don’t care what yer story is, lady, but you’re havin’ a meet with Soundwave. She’s the local teacher and unicorn. She’ll help ya learn control and this lovely mare here’ll teach Lippy here how ta fly a bit better.”
He squinted his eyes, glancing between the two. “Ah’m gonna fix up my house, now if ya don’t mind,” Melody said taking to his four hooves and turning, walking away toward the damaged hallway.
“Yeah, he’s weird,” Tali said crossing her eyes and looking at the tip of her horn in her vision.
“Yeah, horny, he’s not the only one.”
“Says the horse with a stone head,” Tali replied.
“I can’t wait to see you unbraid your tail.”
“I can’t wait to see you chase some with that thing behind you.”
Grimm winced and looked back at his tail again. “Well, uh… you’re naked.”
“So are you, numb nuts… which by the way, I don’t see. Unic. Heh, unic-orn. Maybe there’s something to that.”
“Now,” Shockwave huffed, “ya stop that. Ain’t no bickerin’ in this room unless it’s between lovers. And y’all don’t take me as the sort. Now, what say ya drink up and we’ll head out. I’ll show ya around and ya can get yer legs stretched out. Ain’t seen a set’a stumblin sober ponies since the gas.”
Both guestes gulped and looked at her. “Gases? Like, war?”
“Nah, Hyperwave made chili and invited the town over for leftovers. Once we were in his house we were stuck, on account’a bein’ neighborly and all. Ain’t no one walkin’ straight after that gas chamber got us.”
Tali snorted. “Sounds like a gas, though.” Grimm rolled his eyes.
“So, what’s up with the eyes, by the way? Freaky as hell. Like, your, our faces are all eyes.”
“All the better to see, dear.” Shockwave said sweetly as she finished her drink and exhaled contently. The scent of mustard waved across the table. “That’s some good stuff. Ah’ll meet ya outside.”
She got up, cantered to the door, opened it with a hoof, and exited leaving the duo alone.
“So, now what?” Tali asked.
“I finish my grape flavored lemonade and meet her out there. I need to know the situation and… if I can fly. Plus, if I can, then we’re in for a treat! I can scout like a drone and relay intel to you in realtime.”
“Yeah, and I can blast a beam of light up your butt when you piss me off,” Tali responded with a grin.
Grimm grabbed for his cup, only this time it didn’t hold onto his hoof. “What the?” He tried several times before grasping his cup in both hands and carefully drinking the liquid. “Meet ya outside.”
He got up on four unsteady legs and carefully moved ahead, counting quietly to himself.
Tali took the last drink and galloped ahead of him and right outside, falling with a roll and a happy grin. “Nothin’ to it! It’s stopping that hurts.”