“Discord, you can’t do that.”
“Well, I already did it, so…I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you, Celestia dear.”
“He is bluffing, sister. He is just trying to get a rise out of us.”
“Oh, Luna, I may joke, I may tease, I may exaggerate, I may even omit certain truths from time to time, but I never ever bluff.”
Discord smirked and eyed the princess of the night with a grin worthy of a Cheshire cat.
Luna, standing beside Celestia in the throne room while Discord floated before both of them at this very early hour of the morning, just rubbed her temple with her hoof. Her look and tone were still dry. “Discord, from our experiences together, I put nothing beyond the reach of things you’ll attempt to do regardless of impropriety or inconvenience to others. But I am saying, simply, that the claim you just made must be false. You cannot—neither physically, magically, nor metaphysically—just ‘create’ a new day of the year, and not one all for yourself no less.” She lowered her hoof.
“And yet,” Discord reclined back in the air, his grin utterly bursting, “I did indeed create a new day all for myself. Funny how that works, huh, Luna?”
The princess of the day sighed. “Discord,” Celestia was almost smiling a little, though she tried to hide it, “you know Luna’s right. There is no way to just make a new day. Yesterday and last night have passed, and Luna just set the moon to lowering while I set the sun to rising for today.” And indeed, out of the windows of the throne room, the pale blues of pinks of dawn were in the air. “That means that the next normal day has started. All of the calendars will vouch for it.”
“Check again.” Discord practically giggled.
Celestia blinked, her eyes going wide. She looked to Luna (who looked back at her, wide-eyed now as well) and then used her magic to make one of the official royal calendars appear. The calendar was a circular image carefully constructed onto parchment that encompassed all the days of the complete current year. Celestia mumbled to herself as she read through the information. “February 26th…27th…28th…February 29th?!” She looked up, her pupils slightly dilated.
“Discord!” Luna scowled at the chaos master. “Did you go and deface ALL of the royal calendars like this? Do you have any idea how much work goes into making those documents? The scribes and astronomers start on them months in advance of each new year!”
“I did not ‘deface’ them,” Discord corrected with a shrug (and now he was wearing a pink robe and dipping half a donut into a cup of hot coffee). “Defacing them implies that I ruined them in some way or made them inaccurate. But I didn’t.” His grin picked up on one side. “I simply corrected them to reflect the extra day I created. I also corrected all the regular paper calendars that the common ponies use, which was no small task. You’re welcome, by the way.”
“I refuse to believe that you created a new day.”
Discord blinked in mid-sip from his mug (or rather in mid-sip of drinking the mug around his coffee) and looked to Celestia…who for the first time in a very long time had spoken to him in her rare stern tone and who was looking at him with her eyes narrowed in a way he hadn’t seen since his initial return.
Even Luna looked to her sister with a raised eyebrow at the change in her tone. “Celestia?”
Celestia let out a breath but her glare lost none of its effect and stayed put on Discord. “Luna, I can handle this.” She used her magic to make the calendar disappear and then raised her voice slightly as she addressed Discord again. “You do not have a say in how days come and go over the course of the year, Discord. And you certainly didn’t get any guidance from me about how days are managed. So I am telling you that you did not create a new one. And the sooner you just admit the truth and have your laugh over popping in here at dawn for a joke, the sooner we can all get on with our morning. Morning…the start of the day…the day that I know is March 1st because the day is what I am princess of.”
Discord’s eyes were very wide, but he was smiling again. And as this little speech ended, he snapped away his robe and coffee…and broke into a slow clap. “Bravo, Celestia, what a touchingly defensive speech about the magic of the daytime triumphing over my chaos. I hit a nerve with this stunt, didn’t I?” He almost chuckled. “Oh, I figured you two would be surprised, maybe even a little angry, that I went and squeezed another twenty four hours into the year, but I didn’t think you in particular would take it this personally, Celestia.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean, by adding a new day, I technically added a new night as well, but you don’t see Luna blowing her stack. And she’s the one with the temper.”
“Please, Discord.” Luna’s eyelids fell. “If you’ve seriously done this, I’m just waiting for you to fall asleep before I start saying a few choice words to you. I’ve found that my Royal Canterlot Voice reverberates much more in dreams…which I have access too…and inside of which I possess a great deal of power. You would do well to keep these things in mind.”
Discord gave a sheepish grin but waved her off. “Oh, come on, Luna, if anything you know you love the idea of an extra night to have fun with.”
“Discord.” Celestia came forward. She was still glaring…and she came so close that Discord found himself having to pull back slightly and straighten up in the air as her face neared his. She kept her tone calm. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you actually altered the course of the sun and moon enough to add a single day to the calendar year.”
“And swear on Fluttershy!” Luna added, coming closer and smirking a little.
“On Fluttershy…” Celestia added, her tone still very level (but her gaze still never leaving his).
Discord’s wide red and yellow eyes blinked once. And then, looking down into Celestia’s eyes, he gave a single nod and said simply, “I swear on Fluttershy, I did indeed add a new day to the year.”
For a moment, there was just silence.
Then Celestia took a deep inhale through her nose. The glare didn’t break. She didn’t even blink. “And can I ask why you did this?”
Discord’s eyes remained wide. “Well…you and the girls and everyone want me to start using my chaos for good more. And I’ve been thinking that the best way to start doing that is to teach ponies more about my chaos so they can understand it better. But there never seems to be any time between epic battles and holidays and royal functions. And then I remembered that you get the ponies to stop one day a year to appreciate the sun with the Summer Sun Celebration, and Luna gets the ponies to stop one day a year to appreciate the night with Nightmare Night, and Hearts and Hooves Day is practically Cadance’s day to let everyone learn more about love, and I’m sure Twilight’s close to having a Friendship Day in the works. So I decided to create a chaos day for myself. But I didn’t want to selfishly steal a day…so I made one instead.” He shrugged. “I just altered the paths of the sun and moon by a fraction of a degree, shifted the equinoxes thirty seconds either way, and threw in a drop of temporal magic. So…Happy Discord Day, everypony.” He snapped his tail to make a little pendant flag with his face on it appear in the tuft, which he waved. “Surprise.”
Still silence.
And then Celestia let out a very deep breath…and laughed.
She was clearly trying hard not to; it actually came out like a suppressed snort at first, and then she pulled back and was just looking down and smiling. And now finally she was laughing completely.
Behind her, Luna had an eyebrow raised at first but now she too was smiling (though covering it up with her hoof) until finally she couldn’t resist any more and started laughing completely as well.
Discord just looked from one pony sister to the other with wide eyes at first but then grinned again and started chuckling along with them. He rolled in the air in his mirth. “Finally, there we go! That’s how you celebrate Discord Day—with laughter!”
The pony sisters were holding onto each other at this point, they were laughing so much.
Discord’s laughter grew too. “Well, I’m glad we’re finally on the same page and that you two are finally taking this well. I really thought you were going to punish me or something for a second there.”
“Oh Discord,” Celestia wiped a tear from her eye, finally starting to get her laughter under control, “of course you’re going to be punished. You altered time and space on a whim.”
“Oh yes.” Luna cleared her throat, getting her own laughter under control now too. “Clearly a strong reprimand is called for here.” She glanced to Celestia. “I’m thinking…he must help me with my annual scaring of the children for next Nightmare Night and he must help you with the decorations for the Summer Sun Celebration next summer? And of course he’ll have to help us now with correcting what he did to the year.”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, I think that sounds fair. Don’t you, Discord?” She glanced at him.
Discord looked from one princess to the other, still trying to smile. And then, seeing they weren’t joking, he blinked and pouted distinctly. “Oh come on, ladies, really? I told you, my intentions were good! I…” He considered for a moment…. And then he smiled again. “Okay.” He gave a single nod. “Maybe I will help you two with your holidays. But on one condition: I still get to keep mine.”
Celestia frowned a little. “Discord, you don’t understand. I can see how much this means to you and how much work you put into making ‘Discord Day’ possible, but alterations like the ones you made could have serious repercussions in time and space.”
Luna nodded. “Yes. There could be unforeseen consequences, no matter how careful you were. After all, adding a full day and night each year…”
“But ladies, you underestimate me.” Discord grinned and landed before them. “Even I know adding a new full day and night to each year would be too much of a load to bear for the cosmos. So I very carefully worked out the calculations before implementing my magic. The good news is that it is perfectly safe to have my day exist. The unfortunate news is that it can only exist once every four years: it seems a quarter of a day and night is the maximum amount of time that can be gleaned from an intact year without causing issues. But don’t you think the rarity of my holiday will make it that much more special?” His smile beamed a little.
Luna and Celestia’s eyes went wide.
“You really put that much thought into this?” Luna raised an eyebrow.
Discord nodded. “Of course.” He shrugged. “I told you, it’s my day, it’s my project for the sake of chaos. I think not understanding chaos is part of why most ponies are more prone to running and hiding when I float down the street instead of smiling and greeting me.” He rolled his eyes. “I just wanted a chance to give everyone a little fun and to let them get to know me and my magic a little better.”
The pony sisters continued to observe Discord closely for another moment. And then they looked to each other…and eventually they sighed and smiled. They looked to Discord again.
Celestia spoke. “Discord…if you present your calculations to our astronomers and to us and they really do check out, then yes, you can keep your day.” Her smile picked up a little on one side. “Though in the future, if you’re going to add slightly to Luna’s and my workload by tossing in a new sun and moon rise for the year, we’d appreciate it.”
“Indeed.” Luna nodded, smiling a little too.
“Really?! Oh, thank you, ladies!” And in a burst of magic Discord now appeared right between the two pony sisters, hugging them close, one arm around each princess’s neck. “Oh, it’ll be a glorious day and night!” He started snapping up lists and props. “I have games planned and demonstrations and lectures and a chocolate milk tasting and a cotton candy eating contest and a tour of the place where you two and I had our old battles against each other, and then there’ll be a contest to see who can be the most chaotic pony—judged by me, of course—and then we’ll end the day with a concert performed by yours truly and an upside down limbo-ing marathon followed by a chaos feast and celebration that’ll last until sunrise!”
Celestia, still smiling (and still caught in Discord’s hug) rolled her eyes to the side. “It sounds very…creative, Discord.”
“And very chaotic,” Luna added, smiling and shaking her head. “We’ll make an announcement to the ponies, and you can write up a schedule to distribute if you’d like.”
Celestia nodded. “Yes. And in the meantime, what should we tell everyone is first on the agenda, Discord?”
“First?” The chaos master released the pony sisters and smirked, then snapped his fingers.
All of his props and lists disappeared, and the three magical beings were all suddenly seated at a little breakfast table together in the throne room with coffee and colorful pastries before them. The coffee pot trotted over to fill everyone’s mug as Discord reclined back in his chair. “First is breakfast. Just a private one with my two favorite royal pony pains to thank them for putting up with another shenanigan from me. Consider it a token of appreciation for letting my day stand. Luna, I got the good coffee—an ancient Saddle Arabian blend. And Celestia, some of those croissants might be cake-filled…” His grin picked up on one side.
Celestia and Luna looked to each other and then looked back to the spread before them, their smiles and eyes brightening a little.
“Well, thank you, Discord. That is…almost suspiciously kind of you.” The night princess took a deep inhale over her coffee mug and smiled more. “But…just a sip might be worth the risk.”
“Discord, it all looks very delicious,” Celestia assured, rolling her eyes at Luna. “Thank you.”
Discord nodded. “Dig in, ladies.”
With a smile, Luna took a sip of her coffee and Celestia took a bite of a croissant.
About five seconds later, Luna’s hair turned bright pink and Celestia’s horn started flashing neon-colored lights.
“Ha!” Discord broke into laughter. “Laced it all with poison joke! Welcome to Discord Day, ladies—Hey!” Discord swallowed, and the pastry Luna and Celestia had just magically shoved into his laughing mouth went down into his stomach with a thud.
And then five seconds later…nothing happened.
Discord blinked and glanced at himself. “Huh…maybe I’m immune?” He looked to the (now pouting) sisters and chuckled. “Oh come on, we’ll finish breakfast and then you two can go get the cure from Zecora before anyone even knows that Luna’s hair looks like exploded cotton candy and that Celestia could use her horn to guide in airborne chariots for a landing.” He chuckled and held up his fingers. “Now the only thing that would make this meal perfect is some chocolate milk….” He snapped.
A glass of plain milk appeared on the table.
Discord blinked. “Huh…” He raised an eyebrow. “That’s not right.” He snapped again.
A bigger glass of plain milk appeared this time.
“Cotton candy.” He snapped.
A plate of brussels sprouts appeared on the table.
“Cupcakes.” He pouted and snapped.
Beets.
“Candy canes!” He snapped again.
Celery.
“Pie!” He snapped once more.
A salad.
By now the pony sisters were in full-blown laughter.
“Come on, Discord,” Celestia smiled warmly and used her magic to send away all the vegetables and to make a glass of chocolate milk appear for him. “We’ll all go to Zecora for the cure after breakfast.”
“Yes.” Luna nodded. “And then Discord Day can officially begin.”
Discord finally cracked a smile again and took up his chocolate milk for a sip. “Fair enough.”
The three beings shared a laugh.
And then a scroll appeared in the air and dropped down in front of Celestia.
“Is that from Twilight?” Luna raised an eyebrow.
Celestia nodded. “It was definitely sent by Spike’s magic.” She opened the letter and read silently for a moment…and then sighed and read aloud, her look a little dry.
Dear Princess Celestia,
This is Spike. Sorry to bother you, but, uh…so…somehow the calendar says today is February 29th, and I guess it was supposed to say March 1st. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but Twilight’s kind of starting to lose it. She’s been reading through all of Starswirl’s books on time spells and writing a lot of really confusing numbers and symbols all over a chalkboard and saying she’s convinced this has something to do with her time travelling battle with Starlight and that we all might be doomed. Do you remember how she got that time she didn’t have a friendship letter to send you and thought that would mean she’d be tardy with her homework that week? That wild-eyed look she had just before she hexed her Smarty Pants doll? She’s starting to get a little bit like that. Maybe you could come help fix this? Or Luna? Anypony? Please!
I have to go. She’s breaking open hourglasses again to analyze the sand. She wants me to double check the amount of grains there are after she finishes counting them. Also, she turned the Harmony table into a big sundial and blasted a hole in the ceiling to let the light in so she could do some calculations.
Please help!
~Spike
Celestia lowered the letter, the dry look still on her face.
Luna just brought a hoof to her forehead.
Discord barely managed to keep his grin at a polite size. “And an extra bonus—I seem to have broken Twilight. Discord Day just keeps getting better and better.”
Celestia penned a quick response and sent it away. “I told Spike to tell Twilight that everything is under control and that we’d be by soon to explain. And I advised him to send her back to bed with her favorite book and a cup of decaffeinated tea. We’ll finish breakfast, then talk to Twilight, and then go on to Zecora’s before the big announcement about the new holiday. And to make it up to Twilight, you’ll help her clean up the hourglasses and fix the hole in her throne room ceiling along with the help you’re going to be giving to Luna and I for our holidays next year…right, Discord?” She looked at the chaos master, trying not to smile.
Discord nodded as he finished his chocolate milk, smirking away. “Agreed.”
Luna sighed, and her smile grew. “Well, then, since it is now officially Discord Day, while we finish up breakfast why don’t you tell us some of what you want to share with the ponies about chaos, Discord?”
Celestia nodded to him. “Yes, I’d be interested in hearing what you have to say as well, Discord.”
Discord beamed a little. “Well, if you two really insist.” He took a bite out of a pastry and then held out his arms. “Once upon the a time the universe was all chaos. And then order had the nerve to try and side-step it’s way in there. But chaos wasn’t about to just quit without a fight, of course. And so I came into being as it’s grand defender! And thus my legend begins…”
The pony sisters tried not to roll their eyes as Discord’s dramatic presentation went on while they finished their coffee and pastries and prepared for a day of explaining to the ponies that every four years they would get a new special (slightly odd but fun) holiday to celebrate: Discord Day. One blissful sun and moon period when the magic of chaos could express itself freely across the land for the fun of everypony and for the sake of helping the chaos master himself feel just a little less misunderstood.
(Twilight ended up with no permanent mental scarring after she got her hooves on a copy of Discord’s calculations to look over and had the theory behind the new day explained to her at least twice by both Celestia and Luna. Spike, however, never wants to see another hourglass again for as long as he lives and is currently petitioning for a Dragon Day where gems are free and he’s guaranteed not to have any reason to write desperate letters to immortal magical leaders begging for assistance).