//------------------------------// // Planning and Downtime // Story: The best party ever // by ed2481 //------------------------------// Planning and Downtime Twilight was in the command room of Base42, she was sitting between Luna and Celestia, mostly so she wouldn’t lose her seat to someone else who wanted front row seats. The room was set up like a stadium with a large flat area at the center of a pit surrounded by seats. Overhead cannons boomed and things exploded but here in the command room none of it mattered. Pinkie stood on in the center of the pit standing on her rear legs her forelegs folded calmly behind her back. The seats going around the pit were full of beings of immense power, many of whom Twilight didn’t recognize. Much to her surprise there were several different versions of herself and her friends scattered about, most of them looked extremely deadly and Twilight huddled closer to Luna when another Twilight met her eyes indifferently. “As you all know we have a problem, this dimension has been turned into a trap and we are facing the forces of just about every villain, bad guy, dark god, evil dictator, evil emperor, and even some evil chancellors. Hell they have demons, they have trolls, they might even have flying monkeys…Anyways I digress. I knew something like this was coming which is why I told several of you to bring your armies with you when you came to the games…” Pinkie was interrupted by an angry looking black man wearing large bulky armor. “You knew this was going to happen! And you Didn’t tell the Cole Train about it!” The black man yelled at her. “Sit down son; you don’t have the whole picture.” Another black man said; Pinkie nodded to him in thanks. “Thank you Johnson, as I was saying I had a feeling, I have feelings all the time and most of them mean absolutely nothing. This time that wasn’t the case which is why it is a good thing that I told several generals to bring everything they had.” Pinkie said nodding to several of the afore mentioned generals. “Now let’s go over the list of some of the more powerful leaders that they have, these are only the ones that I know for sure about, I’m sure there are probably hundreds more. Emperor Palpatine dark lord of the sith is in attendance although as to what he’s doing here I can’t begin to fathom, he’s brought the 501st stormtrooper legion with him.” She was interrupted by scattered laughter. “Well that would be worrisome, if they hadn’t gone to the imperial marksman academy.” Someone behind Twilight said with a chuckle. “Unfortunately for us these troopers are not under the effects of their universe, as it turns out they’re all incredible shots.” Pinkie said with a shrug, things got silent quickly. “Nicodemus Archleone is also in attendance, for those of you who have heard of him you know how great a threat he and his organization pose to the unprepared; I’ll allow Dresden to elaborate later for those of you unfamiliar. Lord Voldemort is also in attendance along with an army of deatheaters, and now he’s immune to the power of love, sorry Potter.” Pinkie said turning to Harry Potter who shuddered slightly but his face took on a look of pure determination. “Frank Fontaine is also here, along with an army of splicers, on the brightside Jack is already here and no longer responds to the words ‘would you kindly’.” A man across the room looked up suddenly and his left hand lit up with crackling electricity, slowly a smile spread across his face. “Bring it on.” The man with the lightning said, a little girl sitting next to him put her hand over his and shushed him. “Nihilus Nix Naught is with them along with Wrong, but they shouldn’t prove to be much of a problem at least as long as Miss Sparkle can stand to take the field against them.” Pinkie said gesturing at one of the versions of Twilight; it was the one who Twilight recognized from when they were escaping the arena. “As long as Titan isn’t here I should be fine.” Came the slightly chilly reply. “Neither he or the other are here, something about unresolved conflict or some other interdimensional law. One of the most worrying is the Prophet of Truth; he’s managed to bring every covenant ground force that exists, with the exception of the Elites of course.” Pinkie said nodding to the Arbiter. “Then we shall burn them where they stand.” Came the quite reply from the four mandibled mouth, Master Chief nodded from where he sat next to him. “That reminds me Chief, how many of your Spartans are here?” Pinkie asked the green clad soldier. “All of them.” Chief said, Twilight couldn’t see his face underneath his helmet but she could hear the smile in his voice clearly. “Tell us where you want us, and we’ll clear the way.” “Thank you John.” Pinkie said sincerely “The Titan Lord Kronos has come as well, Percy he’s yours.” Pinkie said nodding to the man Twilight remembered taking part in the destruction of the army of myth creatures. Percy nodded and an odd look crossed his face, as if he were pondering something. “Is Luke here?” Percy asked after a few seconds of thought. “Nope, you don’t have to worry about that, he convinced some other shmuck to act as a body for him.” Pinkie said with a grin, Percy just nodded his head slowly. “I’m not sure who any of the others in charge are but I’m sure that there are more than this. Moving on, I commissioned this base from the owner of this dimension to be virtually indestructible. In fact I know for a fact that it could withstand a five thousand ton nuclear blast, and no don’t ask where we got that much uranium to test it.” Pinkie said with a sly smile that got a few chuckles from the people in the room. Suddenly a loud mechanical sound burst through the room, a man in armor with an N7 emblem on it jumped to his feet. “REAPER!” He yelled as a giant Reaper appeared on the viewscreens spread around the room. The Reaper looked down at their base with contempt and shot a massive laser at it, which bounced off of the base’s shielding and shot in another direction. Pinkie chuckled. “Did I mention that I forced the master of this plain to make this place nearly impossible to destroy?” The pink pony smirked. The angry Reaper shot another beam at the base and was met with similar results, suddenly two figures jumped off of the retaining wall of the base. They both flew calmly towards the Reaper Twilight recognized them both from the arena exit. One was the man in the blue spandex suit with the red cape fluttering behind him the other was the man was Goku. Sensing the approaching threat the Reaper turned to face them and unleashed another shot of its main gun, Goku merely batted the beam aside and flew closer. The Reaper unleashed a salvo of missiles at them but the man in the cape sent lasers shooting out of his eyes to clear the skies of the pests. The Reaper fired another main cannon blast which Goku once again swatted aside with a slight shrug. Suddenly the man with the cape increased his speed and slammed into the Reaper creating a giant dent in the metal of the giant metal space squid. Goku meanwhile was holding his hands together and pointing them palms out towards the Reaper, his palms began to glow blue but Twilight’s eyes were drawn back to the other man who was busily punching his way through the Reaper’s armor. The Reaper screamed in defiance and unleashed its main gun on Goku, but by this time he was done charging his attack. “Kamehameha!” Goku yelled d a blast of blue energy shot out of his palms and rushed towards the Reaper dissolving the Reaper’s beam in the process. The Kamehameha slammed into the space where a few seconds earlier the other man had been punching; the beam of blue energy shot all the way through the Reaper and erupted out the other end blowing a large hole in the process. The light from the Reaper’s eyes died and it fell to the ground outside the castle with a mighty thud. “As you can see we have the situation of anything less than the enemy gods themselves attacking us easily underhoof, what remains for us to do is retake this dimension and get back home.” Pinkie said once again beginning to pace “How we’re going to do this I haven’t a clue, but I’m sure with as many great minds as we have assembled here we’ll figure something out. Say who’s up for a party?” Pinkie asked the assembled beings who looked at each other and shrugged. “Yay let me go get my party cannon!” *** The party had been going on for several hours and Twilight was just beginning to get back into her rhythm, it surprised her hoe much she’d missed the simple act of enjoying the company of others as they consumed massive amounts of alcohol. Twilight had decided to limit herself to one glass of wine and leave it at that, but others were deep into their drinks. Off to her right she noticed a group of five children drinking beer, Twilight may not have known their age but she was sure they were way too young to be drinking. “I still say this party is boring.” A bald boy wearing a pair of sunglasses said as he took another drink of his beer. “Number 1, this place is awesome can you believe some of the ships they have here!” A large boy wearing an odd hat replied, a dark skinned girl wearing a red hat standing next to the first speaker nodded and added. “Lighten up Number 1, the drinks are free and so is the food so why don’t you enjoy yourself?” The bald boy shook his head and took another drink. “Aren’t you kids a little young to be drinking?” Twilight asked as she got closer. “No we’re not and what would you do if we were adult?” A blonde boy asked raising his fists menacingly. “Well I’d start by taking the beer away, and then I’d give you a very long lecture about the dangers of alcohol.” Twilight replied with a smile, suddenly a girl in a green shirt started to laugh. “Guys, she thinks we’re drinking real beer.” The green shirted girl said between laughs. “You aren’t?” Twilight asked raising an eyebrow skeptically. “Of course not silly, that stuff is for adults.” The green shirted girl said still laughing. “Yeah we’re drinking root beer so back off!” The blonde boy said once again raising his fists. “Number 4 stand down, she had no idea.” The bald boy said with a slight grin. “Although I never caught you name Miss…” “Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight replied with a smile. “Well Twilight we’re the Sector V of the KND, I’m Number 1. These are numbers 2, 3, 4, and 5” Number 1 said gesturing towards the large boy then the girl in green followed by the blonde and finishing with the one in the red hat. “Together with the rest of the KND we fight adult tyranny wherever it rears its head.” “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong hoof.” Twilight said a little sheepishly. “Don’t worry about it Twilight, it was just a misunderstanding, besides you seem pretty cool.” Number 5 told her extending her hand, Twilight shook it and grinned. Twilight spent a few minutes talking to the members of Sector V and after promising to show Number 3 some unicorn magic then left heading for the bar thinking that some root beer actually sounded like a good idea. At the bar she noticed two more children, although one looked suspiciously like a younger version of Harry Potter who she’d met earlier at the meeting. “I’m telling you Hermione I need to become a god so I can keep these kinds of things from happening in the first place! I bet I could be running that whole organization in under a week and then turn it to the side of good!” The young Potter said waving his arms at Hermione who looked at him aghast. “Harry you can’t be serious these are some of the worst and most evil monsters in the universe!” Hermione replied aggravatedly looking at the young boy who couldn’t be any older then twelve at the most. “Exactly Hermione if I became a god I’m sure I could convince them to become good, I did it with Malfoy!” The boy retorted. “All I’d have to do is explain that their brand of evil suited no purpose and that if they banded behind me then they’d conquer things much faster and hold power much longer!” Hermione looked like she wanted to start slamming her head into the bar. “What seems to be the problem?” Twilight asked the pair both of whom jumped slightly at her unexpected arrival. “There isn’t one, I was just explaining to Hermione why I should be promoted to godhood.” The young Potter said. “And I was just explaining to Harry that if he should ever happen to attain godhood things wouldn’t go as well as he wants them to so he should stop trying to break the universe and start trying to make them better as they are now.” Hermione told Twilight exasperatedly. “Look Hermione the fact that this whole place exists means that reality can be rewritten as I need it to be, it’s just a matter of finding the computer!” Harry told Hermione, Twilight thought about the problem for a few seconds. This was obviously not the Potter that she’d met earlier; this one was much more…rational. “Have you tried talking to any of the gods around here, I’m sure if you talked to them they’d give you a good idea of what godhood is really like and you can decide whether or not it’s really worth it.” Twilight said at last, young Harry started to scratch his chin in thought. “You know that’s actually a good idea, who do you recommend?” Potter asked looking around the crowd of drunken individuals. Twilight also took a minute to look at the assorted beings before her gaze settled on her Celestia who was currently engaged in a very serious looking talk with several others. “I’d suggest her.” Twilight said pointing at her marefriend’s sister Harry set off with Hermione following behind. Twilight turned to order a root beer from the bartender who had two heads. “I’d like one root beer please.” Twilight said, now that she took the time to notice it the bartender was dressed horribly. “Sure thing baby, by the way thanks for getting rid of that kid, his ego’s almost as big as mine and I couldn’t let that happen.” The two headed man said handing Twilight her root beer. “Why not?” Twilight asked him in confusion. “Because if it was I’d have to shoot him.” Replied the two headed man with a slight grin, Twilight stared at him. “Who are you?” She asked the strange man. “I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox president of the galaxy.” The man replied with a smile. “Well Mister Beeblebrox it’s been fun but I really need to go.” Twilight said hurriedly as she pushed away from the bar. “That’s cool babe.” The odd man called after her. “…The warehouse wall exploded in with a deafening crash of metal, ceramic, and screaming engines. Debris careened around the room, glass rained from shattered panes, and a cargo hauler plowed into the room. Cargo crates went scattering, tumbling down with resounding crashes and crunching impacts. The hauler, seven meters tall and eight wide, came to a halt, its front scarred from impact damage.…” Twilight heard what someone say she looked up and saw a blue armored turian talking to a gray armored elite. Twilight kept on walking not really wanting to get involved in that kind of situation, then Twilight saw something that made her almost drop her root beer. It was a pony who looked exactly like Twilight but this Twilight had a pair of wings and a horn. “Excuse me how did you get those wings?” Twilight asked the other her curiously, the other Twilight jumped at the unexpected sound of her own voice addressing her but calmed quickly when she saw that it was just another version of herself. “It’s actually kind of an odd story.” Alicorn Twilight said, Twilight shrugged she had nothing better to do. “I’ve got time.” Twilight replied to her winged version who nodded and led her towards a nearby booth. “Well you see in my dimension alicorn reproduction is somewhat…different.” Alicorn Twilight began; Twilight listened in disgusted interest as alicorn Twilight described the process of creating an alicorn. “And then I fell asleep for a few months, when I awoke I looked like this. Oh and Shinning was an alicorn to which raises some odd questions that I really don’t want to know the answer to.” Alicorn Twilight finished, Twilight stared at her for a few seconds then yelled for an actual beer. “Like I told you it’s an odd tale.” Alicorn Twilight told Twilight apologetically. “I really need to ask Luna if that happens in our dimension.” Twilight said mostly to herself; Alicorn Twilight shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you; anyways I’ve got to go keep my Celestia from accidentally eating too much cake.” Alicorn Twilight said with a wry smile, Twilight nodded and finished her drink as her other self walked away. Twilight walked around some more till she found table with a mouse and a fox both dressed in black trench coats. “Hey there baby.” The grey fox said getting to his feet. “How about you and me go for a ride on my bed?” The mouse facepalmed loudly. “Eastwood leave her alone, before you end up hurt.” The mouse told his friend with a weary sigh. “Shut up Virus I can do this!” The fox exclaimed in annoyance before turning back to Twilight. “As I was saying…” He didn’t get any farther because Luna who had appeared silently beside Twilight spoke up. “Eastwood please don’t hit on my marefriend, it would end badly for you and even the entire inquisition couldn’t rescue you.” Luna said calmly, the fox shrunk back. “Of course Luna, I had no idea she was with you.” Eastwood said with a slightly frightened nod, Luna smiled at him sweetly. “I’m glad to hear it.” Luna told him before walking away and melting back into the crowd. “I can’t believe she didn’t slap you.” Virus said taking a drink; Twilight decided it was time to leave the two to their drinks. Twilight was just about to leave the party when she noticed what looked like an older battle scarred version of Spike drinking a beer, for some reason Twilight sensed great sadness coming off of him in waves. She slid into the booth across from him causing him to look up in surprise. “Hey there Spike why do you look so sad?”Twilight asked the dragon who regarded her silently for a few seconds before he said. “You don’t want to know Twilight, you just don’t want to know.” The dragon said shaking his head sadly. “Come on you look really sad, even if you aren’t my Spike I still can’t stand to see you look this sad.” Twilight told him comfortingly. “Call me Thorn; it’ll be easier on your brain.” Thorn told her, Twilight nodded thankful for the easy way to separate the dragon from her Spike. “So what’s wrong?” Twilight asked again. “I honestly can’t tell you, I really shouldn’t be here in the first place, all you need to know is that I’m from the future.” With that Thorn turned back to his drink and ignored Twilight who eventually wandered away. “Well that was odd…” Twilight mumbled to herself as she kept walking around the party. Eventually Luna came and found her sitting in a booth by herself drinking a root beer. “Come on Twilight it’s time to go to bed I think.” Luna told her with a slight smile, suddenly thoughts from her conversation with alicorn Twilight popped back into her head. “Luna…do you have a penis?” Twilight asked her marefriend who turned to stare incredulously at her. “Twilight I’m assuming there’s a good reason for this question…” Luna said looking at her marefriend who blushed furiously. “It’s just I was talking to a version of me who was an alicorn…” Twilight started but before she could get any farther Luna burst into laughter. “Oh that’s the reason! Thank Faust, I thought you wanted me to grow one.” Luna replied wiping a tear from her eye. “No Twilight I don’t, that Twilight is from a completely different dimension where the rules of reality are somewhat skewed…” Luna said trailing off and then shuddering slightly. “Ok good, that would’ve been weird.” Twilight replied and they began to make their way back to their room. Once they got to their room and closed the door Twilight turned to Luna again. “Luna I have another question.” “What is it Twilight?” Luna asked hoping that it wouldn’t be as bad as the last one. “What happens when I eventually die of old age?” Twilight asked Luna. “Honestly Twilight there are two ways we can go about this, I can turn you into an alicorn, don’t look at me like that…” She said and Twilight blushed. “Or you die and I come and visit you here.” Luna finished, Twilight nodded. “Thanks Luna, I’ve been worried about it for a while now.” Twilight replied with a sad smile. “Of course Twilight, so are we ready to do this, or do you want me to grow a…” Luna began but Twilight kissed her before she could finish the sentence.