//------------------------------// // 55 - The Village Pt. 1 // Story: The Memoirs Of A Reality Jumper // by Techogre //------------------------------// Bonbon quietly closed the door to her home. “Lyra? Where are you?” The house's silence was deafening, but Bonbon knew where her marefriend went when she was in this kind of mood. The earth pony candy maker went to the kitchen workshop and took a small red box with a green bow labelled 'Lyra'. It had four orange-crisp chocolates. As she expected, the ladder from the attic was down. She carefully balanced the box on her snout and climbed. At the far end, looking morosely out the attic window, was an aquamarine unicorn. Bonbon called softly, “Lyra?” She sniffed loudly, “I’m just a screwup. I’m lucky to have forgiving friends, not that I deserve them.” “Shush.” Bonbon opened the box and took one of the chocolates out, “Here. Eat.” Lyra looked at the treat on Bonbon’s hoof. “It’s your favourite,” she cooed. Lyra took the candy and chewed. “Oh, Celestia, this is so good. Did you add more orange essence?” Lyra’s existential crisis was suddenly forgotten in a rush of candied heaven. Bonbon smiled, “That’s my secret, love.” A blush coloured Lyra's muzzle as she analyzed the flavours of the treat. "Banana rind?" Bonbon turned a naughty little smile, "Maybe." Lyra chuckled at her marefriend, “You’re a bad mare.” There was a long silence before she continued. “Thank you. I guess I’ve learned my lesson.” Bonbon hugged Lyra, “You’re lucky he’s a good egg, and Rainbow is understanding. By the way, they invited us back in a few weeks.” Lyra excitedly came to a conclusion, “This must mean I’ve been redeemed.” Bonbon smiled kindly at her excitable friend, “Slow down, speedy. Let’s just say you took the first step.” The ornate scroll sat on the kitchen table, the ribbons and seals in various blacks, blues, and silvery whites. With only a slight hesitation, I opened the scroll. A map nestled with the letter fell out onto the table. Dash fluttered up behind and above me so she could read the letter as well. My Faithful Paladin, We Have A Task For Thee. We Need Thee To Investigate The Village Of The Diamond Dogs Who Attacked Ponyville And Discover The Root Cause For, According To Captain Shining Armour, Such A “Needlessly Hostile And Unprovoked Assault.” You Are To Leave In The Morning Using The Provided Map. The Journey Should Take Approximately Two Days At Your Pace. You Are To Bring Paladin Beatrix, For She Will Prove A Useful Ally. I Have Assigned Master Sergeant Noctus And His Hoof Picked Squad As A Bodyguard For Yourself And Paladin Beatrix. You Are Travelling In Hostile Territory, And There Is No Love Lost Between You And Them. One Final Order Of Business. We Wish To Assign Both Of Our Paladins, And All Future Paladins, Spheres Of Influence. You Shall Be Henceforth Known As The Paladin Of Hope. Likewise, Beatrix Lulamoon Shall Be Known As The Paladin Of Dignity. These Titles Reflect Your Strengths And What You Bring To The Equation Of Redemption. Yours In Redemption Princess Luna CC: Princess Celestia, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Captain Shining Armor, Captain Alabaster Nightshade I muttered out loud, “A Courtesy Copy to all the heavy hitters? It must be serious.” The letter continued in a far less formal script. P.S. You will have to forgive Captain Shining Armour, for his only desire is the safety of our fair realm. I also wish to apologize for our sister’s overreaction in trying to have you arrested. She did not have all the facts before issuing her order. Luckily, I was able to countermand her orders with support from Princess Cadence. I was surprised, “Celestia seemed so kind. I wonder what I did to piss her off?” Dash tapped me on the shoulder, “I wouldn’t worry, big guy. Princess Celestia is on your side, so it must have been somepony feeding her the wrong information. She’ll sort it out; she’s the best.” I nodded at the sageness of my fiance's wisdom. P.P.S. Scootaloo has been suffering from bad dreams but has kept this from you. Her words were, “I don’t want to bug Mom and Dad with my stupid problems.” I have been fighting to keep her safe, but a kind word from her beloved mother would prove most effective at combating this threat. Dash passed me a stack of underwear, pants, and shirts. She grabbed a few socks, blushing and giggling, “Can you just take these things?” I chuckled, “You like it, and you know it.” I quickly put them in the bottom of the pack. Dash headed for the door and spoke softly while giving her plot a shake, “Alright, hero. I’ll get some supplies for your trip. Be right back.” She gently closed the door behind her. While I waited, I laid out a fresh set of clothes for the morning. Finally, I stuffed a sleeping bag in the left side pocket and a fire-making kit in the right one. A little while later, the door opened, and Dash had several bundles on her back, a small iron pot, and a couple of canteens on her wings. “Alright, big guy, I scrounged you about six days of preserved and dried foods, eight or nine days if you stretch it. So, it’s about a kilo of dried carrot slices, a kilo of dried beans, a kilo of smoked dried salmon, a big hunk of that Cloudsdale cheese you like, two dense loaves of rye bread, and about two kilos of traveller’s hard biscuits. Also got a small cooking pot, a cooking fork, and some water canteens.” I took her up in my arms, “A meal fit for a king. Thank you, dear.” I gave her a tender kiss. She rewarded me with a throaty chuckle,  “Got to keep my stallion fed on his trip, you know.” She grew annoyed, “I wish I could be with you to keep you safe.” “Yeah, I do, too, but the boss is sending me a bodyguard, some pony named Noctus, along with his hoof-picked squad. I’m sure they’re the best of the best.” I saw the subtle look of irritation creep into Dash’s face and quickly added, “Not as good as you, of course.” Dash brightened up, “Nice save.” I was about to make a witty remark when I heard the door to Scootaloo's room open. My little filly poked her head through our bedroom doorway, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Mom? Dad? Why are you packing? Is something wrong?” I smiled and picked her up. She nuzzled my neck, and I explained. “No, nothing’s wrong, pumpkin. Princess Luna just wants me to check up on the diamond dogs who attacked Ponyville. I have to leave in the morning, but I’ll be back in about a week.” My daughter looked up at me worriedly, “You’re going alone?” I gave her my confident grin, “Nah, Ms Beatrix and a new friend named Noctus and his buddies will be with me.” Scootaloo asked, “So, you’re going to help them? The Diamond Dogs? Even after what they did?” “I'm going to see if I can figure out why they did it. I don't think they're bad. I just think they had the dirty end of the stick. Now, I think it’s time for my little princess to get back to sleep.” My daughter looked at me with concern. Dash smiled softly at her adopted daughter, “Hey, squirt, mind telling me what those dreams were about.” Dash, direct and brash, as always. I smiled tenderly at my daughter. Scootaloo stood, mouth agape, for a moment, then became frustrated, “Princess Luna ratted me out.” Dash flew to her daughter and gave her a fierce hug, “She did, but it was for your own good. Now spill.” Scootaloo thought for a few moments, “Alright, fine. It was my parents. Not you guys; you guys are my real parents, I mean my original parents. I dreamed they wanted me back, that they got me back, and I could never see you again.” Dash was hugging her as the little filly sobbed. “I was dreaming I was back in that closet, always hungry, scared all the time, with no hope. Princess Luna smashed open the door, and you guys were right behind her.” Dash wrapped both wings around Scootaloo. “Don’t worry, squirt. We’ll always keep you safe from them.” The clacking of a typewriter danced with the rhythm of the old grandfather clock. The secretary looked up briefly at the waiting couple on the loveseat. She noted the jar of mints was slightly jostled out of position on the coffee table. The pale yellow curtains framed the two ponies with the busy streets of Ponyville bustling beyond the window. As if on cue, the tiny magical paperweight and reminder system, generally called a golem, sitting on her ‘finished’ paper stack chirped at her. “Ah, Mr Eater and Mrs Roller, Mr Chamor is ready to see you now.” Thorn Eater hopped up, followed by Bramble Roller, past the old polished oak door. They entered a room that was very different from the rest of the bank. Shelves of varying heights covered the walls, all there were filled with scrolls, books, and strange trinkets of all kinds. Roller flinched when he looked left and saw the towering minotaur armour silently guarding the door. Eater glanced at some of the old charms on the shelf: an emerald egg broken like something hatched from it, a small hoof mirror that offered no reflection, and an open music box with a strange creature that Thorn guessed was an owlbear from across the ocean. Roller cleared his throat as they approached the modestly sized desk covered with hoof size golems that moved papers from pile to pile. A worn donkey wearing small reading spectacles sighed as the ponies finally reached the chairs. “Greetings Chamor. Thank you for seeing us. My wife and I believe that you have the skills to help us.” “Well—” “Please!” Roller announced with all the drama she could muster. “We want to hire you to save our beloved daughter.” “I see—” “Our poor sweet Scootaloo is now in the hooves of a loose mare and a violent alien.” Roller’s tears started to form on the edges of her eyes. “Stop,” Chamor said sharply, and both the ponies sat straight up. He took off his glasses and inspected them in the light of his lamp before putting them back on. “Scootaloo, huh? The young filly that was recently adopted by Rainbow Dash and Alex Roberts.” His voice was rough but not quite as base. “Yes, sir, our daughter. She has been taken by them, Dash and Roberts” Thorn repeated as she practically spat out their names. Chamor chuckled.  “And you want me to represent you. You know I’m not a lawyer.” Thorn placed his dirty forehooves on the desk, “This is true, an unchanging fact, but you do have a reputation for knowing the Equestrian legal system better than any lawyer we can af-know. Any lawyer that we know.” Roller nodded as she joined her husband in slamming the table with her hooves, nearly knocking off a worried golem that blitzed about. “You also have connections. Alex Roberts and Rainbow Dash abused their power by being so close to the princesses. We can’t compete with money and power like that with just a normal lawyer.” “That’s not the only problem,” Chamor grumbled about their dirty hooves under his breath as he took out newspapers. “You both don’t have a leg to stand on. Shall I?” “What?” Thorn’s eyes shrunk as he gulped. “Shall you what?” “Possession of clover, exuberant gambling, petty robbery, and my favourite.” Chamor put down the paper with the unhappiest smile they’d ever seen. “Chaos cultists.” Roller and Thorn felt a heavy thump behind them, the minotaur armour now blocking the door. “I don’t like chaos cultists. You have a lot of nerve coming here.” Thorn threw up his hooves. “Wait, wait, wait. You got it all wrong. We’re ex-cultists now. We don’t do stuff like that anymore.” “We’ve changed, sir.” Roller pleaded. “Celestia’s guards busted us, and we were arrested. We’ve been freed on good behaviour and swore by Harmony itself.” Chamor tapped the newspaper again. “Bad apples like you never change. I’ve dealt with too many, and frankly, I don’t believe you.” “Chamor, harmony changes everyone. We can prove that we’re changed ponies.” Thorn pointed to a family picture on Chamor’s desk. “We can make things right again. Wouldn’t you want that chance?” The donkey’s glare didn’t weaken. “Make things right again until you decide to have a relapse. Convenient timing.” Thorn bit his lower lip as he slightly looked away. “Chaos is hard to resist after being enthralled by it. The crown has given us therapy, and we’ve been diligent.” Roller nodded as she put a hoof on her chest. “To have a happy whole family again would be a slap in the face of old selves. We want to defy that old life.” “How very sweet.” Chamor tapped this hoof to his table. “A complete turnaround. I do know what chaos magic does to a pony. Even a little bit can be enough to twist their feelings and desires into something perverted.” “Yes, it does,” Thorn said evenly. “Which is also why we want our daughter back. To protect her. Rainbow Dash barely qualifies to take care of a foal, but the alien is toxic.” Chamor’s long ears perked up. “Pardon? From all I’ve seen and heard, he’s a model citizen.” Roller had a faint ghost of a smile. “But at the end of the day, he is not a pony, not one of us. Chamor, what do you know about humans.” “Little,” Chamor admitted. “They are not what they seem. The crown keeps this confidential, but they only know because of the confiscated documents from other raids on cultists.” Roller leaned in to whisper. “Humans are natural fountains of chaos magic. Their very nature is unstable, and it affects others.” Thorn mirrored his wife’s actions. “We don’t know why the crown keeps it secret as they have sworn us to secrecy, but we don’t want our little filly to be hurt.” Chamor stared at them, thin lips and ears forward. “That is quite the accusation.” “It is true, though.” Thorn sat back up. “I understand we have a spotty history.” The donkey snorted. “That’s an understatement.” Roller wiped away the tears on her muzzle. “But we truly do want what is best for our little filly. Please help us.” “I’ll think about it. I need to do some research on this, Roberts. I can’t just go on your word alone, but if you are correct about him, then he is worse than any cultist.” Chamor pulled out a card. “This is my information. I’ll get back in touch with you.” The desperate parents bowed, and Roller thanked the suspicious donkey, “That is all we ask.” The whole family was sitting down for breakfast. My pack, walking stick, and good boots were at the door waiting. The plan was simple. Wait for this Noctus character, swing by Bea’s place, and head out. There was a knock on the door. Scootaloo rushed to answer. The door creaked open, and I heard my daughter’s awe-filled voice say, “Cool.” A stiff, precise voice replied, "Greetings, little filly. I am here on behalf of Princess Luna. I request a meeting with Paladin Roberts immediately." An impressed filly replied, “Sure. I mean, yes, sir, sir. My dad’s in the kitchen. Come on.” A dusk grey pegasus stallion the size of an earth pony strode behind a skipping Scootaloo. He wore Night Guard armour and had what looked like a very wide broadsword with a blunt tip slung over his back. In a haughty tone, he asked, “Are you the Paladin of Hope known as Alexander Jean-Paul Roberts?” Dash, with a huge grin, quipped, “Naw, you’re looking for the other human Paladin. This one’s the paladin of cheese.” He turned to Dash. His expression was kept carefully neutral, “Good morning, Element Bearer of Loyalty Rainbow Dash. Your reputation for your pranks precedes you, so I shall take that as a yes.” He returned to face me, “I am Master Sergeant Noctus, with my squad of hoof-picked soldiers, here on Princess Luna’s orders to protect you and Paladin Lulamoon on your mission to the diamond dog village.”   I smiled, “You don't have to call me by my full name, Alex is fine. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?“ Noctus’s expression remained neutral, “No, thank you, Paladin of Hope Alexander Jean Paul Roberts. As for calling you simply ‘Alex’, I am afraid that would simply be improper. Princess Luna ordered me to treat you with the greatest respect, and I shall do that. However, as a concession to your reputation, I will call you Paladin Roberts.” I shrugged, “Suit yourself. Will any of your, um, ponies want coffee?” Noctus sighed the sigh reserved for adults dealing with high-energy children. “While I am sure they would appreciate the gesture, the light of Celestia’s blessed sun is, as they say, burning. In light of this, I have taken the liberty of dispatching guard pony Starfall to fetch Paladin Lulamoon. As soon as both mares arrive, we shall depart.” The golden glow holding up her field glasses dimmed and then intensified. "Ah ha! Dash is finally kicking him out! He’s now all mine to study… Bons won’t be happy, but she’ll forgive me. She always does.” Lyra squinted at Alex and the menagerie. “Wait… why is he leaving town? Why are Lulamoon and those night guards with him? He didn’t get banished, did he? I need to talk to Mayor Mare. Rainbow Dash doesn’t have the authority to banish him, does she? I mean, if she did, she would banish me, and then Bonbon would be sad.” She quickly repositioned herself to follow Alex and the group of ponies around him. “Why is he taking the eastern road? Isn’t that where those dogs came from?” The aquamarine unicorn followed in silence until she realized she was in the woods, well outside of Ponyville. “I’ve been following for over an hour. Where the heck are they going?” She looked at the position of the sun, “I’m going to be late for lunch with Bonny…” and gasped, “Lunch with Bonny!" With her date on the line, she snuck back until she could use the road, then galloped back to Ponyville. It had been a moderate day of travel. In fact, it was more like a brisk hike. I’m sure Noctus was keeping things slow for me because he was briefed that I couldn’t keep up a pony march pace for more than an hour or so. Noctus spent a lot of time on the ground or, occasionally, hovering near us while the rest of his men, ponies I corrected myself, tended to stay high in the air, catching thermals and keeping an eye on the surroundings from cloud level. The sun was still high in the sky, maybe 4 p.m., and the clearing around the road was fairly wide. Noctus suddenly called out, “This looks like an acceptable place to camp. Let us do so.” We had only been travelling for about eight hours. “What’s the problem, Noctus?” The large pegasus sergeant turned slowly toward me. “We are setting up camp. Did I misspeak?” I raised a hand to dismiss his hostility, “No, it’s just that we could still travel for another three or four hours and still have enough light to set up camp. Don’t stop on my account.” He explained with a sigh, “Paladin Roberts, my troops are exhausted from a hard day’s travel.” I shrugged, “Really? They look fine to me, but anyone who knows me can tell you I can’t read ponies.” He looked a little incredulous, “Are you not fatigued? This was a full day of hard travel.” I shrugged, “A little, I guess. Bea?” I was shocked to notice that she was sweaty and looking exhausted. “I’m with the good sergeant, boss. My hooves are on fire.” I shrugged again, “Motion carried. Camp it is.” An annoyed Noctus turned to continue his duties and barked orders. “Guardponies Starfall, Shooting Star, Moon Gazer, set up the camp site. Guardpony Sun Dancer, collect firewood. Corporal Silver Lining, prepare the evening meal. Master Corporal Tree Top, cloud watch. I’ll join you in a moment.” I cleared my throat, “What did you need me to do, sergeant?” He levelled an unkind gaze at me, “Stay out of our way, sir. My little ponies know what to do.” Noctus settled down beside Tree Top on the anchored cloud above the campsite. ”I believe we are out of range of his hearing. You’ve had a full day to observe him. Your opinion, Tree Top?” The Master Corporal’s Appaloosa accent was strongly evident. At times, Noctus wondered if he did that on purpose. ”Well, sarge, I don’t reckon where he gets his energy. Full day’s march, and he’s not even breaking a sweat. Shoot, we were going slow an all, but if he could keep that up for 12 or 14 hours, let’s just say I hope he’s never trying to catch me.” Noctus nodded, “Yes, add to that he claims he is considered middle-aged among his people. Imagine a fit, young, warrior. It boggles the imagination. What about his personality?” Tree Top rubbed his chin in thought, “Fair-minded, determined to do his bit. He offered to scout ahead at about eleven. Stopped him o’course. Kept jawing about his pa in the Royal Canadian Air Force, whatever that is. Some kind of doctor, I think.” Noctus gently corrected, “An artificer, as I understand it. He repaired and maintained flying machines.” There was a pause while both ponies considered the new information. “He claims his people have no magic.” The Master Corporal commented, “And my ma’s a diamond dog.” Beatrix was wrapped tightly in a blanket, lightly snoring. The guard ponies were variously on cloud duty or sleeping. I guess grabbing sack time is universal for soldiers. I poked at the fire in silence while Noctus polished his sword with an oiled rag, I spoke softly, “So, Noctus, tell me a little about yourself.” Without looking up or stopping the maintenance on his weapon, he spoke flatly, “Is that an order, Paladin Roberts?” I sighed, “No, just a suggestion.” He stopped moving the oiled cloth and looked directly at me, “Then, no.” I wasn’t quite sure how to react to such a blunt reply and was unsure if I had heard what I thought I heard. “Pardon?” He repeated himself, over-enunciating the single word, “No.” I decided to let it drop for the moment and to make us a treat. I cut four slices of rye bread, made two cheese sandwiches, and then started toasting them over the fire using the toasting fork. Noctus looked on curiously and with some concern. “Please be careful, sir. I don’t want you to burn yourself.” “My dear Master Sergeant Noctus, I’ve been camping before. You have nothing to fear.” I slowly turned the sandwiches, letting the smoke flavour them. The cheese browned and melted slightly, binding the two slices of bread. The bread slowly caramelized, gaining a wonderfully crisp crust. Noctus looked at me doubtfully. I offered one to Noctus. He seemed cautiously curious, “Is that cobbler cheese from Cloudsdale?” Ah, the power of cheese. “I think so, yes. Made by Fromage Dure if memory serves.” He tentatively poked the offering, “But, why is it melted? And in sandwich form? And why did you smoke it?” I shrugged, “Enhances the flavour and keeps your hooves clean.” He took a tentative bite and chewed thoughtfully. His expression went from slightly sour to neutral. “This is acceptable.” We sat in silence, eating our grilled cheese sandwiches. Once we were done, we continued sitting in silence, me poking at the fire, he polishing his sword. Let’s try a different tack. “Tell me about the diamond dogs. Their culture, anything specific about the Eastern Forest Pack, their status in or relationship with Equestria, anything you can think of.” Noctus leaned on the hilt of his sword, “To be frank, we know little about diamond dog society. Scholars are generally uninterested as their magic is similar enough to earth pony magic, as there isn’t much to learn in that respect. A foolish attitude. If only… ” He waved a hoof dismissively, “If wishes were fruit, we would all eat pie. Diamond Dogs. Tribal society is generally led by the strongest or smartest dog, depending on the tribe. The tribe we’re going to investigate tends to favour brains over brawn, but strength has influence. Their legal status in Equestria is contentious at best. Technically, they are protected by the crown, but I regret to inform you the reality is less honourable.” I cheerfully slapped him on the shoulder, “Thanks, Noctus. That helps. See? We can work as a team.” He only levelled a neutral gaze. “Permission to speak freely, sir?” I smiled and sat up straighter, “Always.” He took a deep breath, “I do not trust you.” I lost my smile. He continued, “You are an outsider that has somehow managed to introduce concerning thoughts to the mind of my Princess and to a great many ponies, in fact—trust, influence, and in most cases, even respect must be earned. Yet you somehow, in the span of two and a half seasons, managed to earn my Princess' ear to the point where she dismissed more reasonable consultations. I intend to uncover your goals and remind my Princess why she cannot afford this blind faith in a creature that is beyond the magic of Harmony. That does not mean I will allow my duty in protecting you to flag. Neigh, I shall defend you with my life as I am expected to, even if my investigation sees you put to stone.” I shifted my gaze to the burning wood in the fire pit, then spoke softly. “Fair enough. I do have one question, Noctus. Would you say you’re an honourable pony?” He answered without hesitation, “Yes. My honour is my life.” I made eye contact and smiled kindly, “Then I welcome your investigation.” The remainder of the trip was uneventful. We finally left the forest to see the Diamond Dog village. I stopped dead in my tracks and muttered, “Vierge bénie et Joseph...”