"I seriously cannot believe, how much more lively the school has become since Sunset Shimmer lost her control over CHS!" Rainbow Dash said excitedly, as she and her friends caught up in the cafeteria. "Uhh. No offense, Sunset."
I swear, these idiots pay absolutely no attention to the fact that I'm sitting right here with them. Regardless, I was quick to respond with a simple, half-hearted, "None taken."
I see no reason to antagonize the only people in the entire school willing to give me a second chance.
"Yeah, I kinda forget that you're here half the time."
Although it is incredibly tempting. Truly, I am feeling the love right now.
Celestia.... Why did it have to be these five that I'm stuck with? Anyone else, I would have been fine with. But no, I'm stuck with them.
"You will never rule in Equestria. Any power you may have had in this world is gone. Tonight, you've shown everyone who you really are. You've shown them what is in your heart."
No... I... lost...? How did I lose...? I had everything... I had all the power... How did I lose?!
In that moment, surrounded by people of the school, people who I had just tried to brainwash into being my army... They all got to see me at my absolute weakest. All my plans are gone. My chances of ever being a princess are gone. Everything that I had strived to create as a reflection of my power... Gone.
Oh gosh, what have I done?
All the feelings I had suppressed over the years, every bit of self doubt, every little bit of disappointment in who I was becoming, had come at me like a speeding freight train, my mind in a million pieces, unable to process reality before me. Every lie I told myself to justify what I did, melted before my eyes.
I had spent the last many moons deluding myself. How could I think Princess here at CHS ever meant anything in regards to Equestria? How could I have thought that I knew better than everyone? How could I think I was better than Celestia of all ponies?
Did I really want to feel accomplished that much? Was I that desperate to taste success?
Am I really that pathetic?
"I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know there was another way."
"The magic of friendship doesn't just exist in Equestria. It's everywhere. You can seek it out, or you can forever be alone. The choice is yours."
"But... But all I've ever done since being here is drive everyone apart. I don't know the first thing about friendship!"
"I bet they can teach you," Princess Twilight said, gesturing to the 5 girls I worked harder than anyone to tear apart.
...Nope.
Nuh-uh.
Not them.
"Those are my girls! Woo-hoo!"
Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm not doing this.
Oh Celestia, no...
This has been my life for the last 2 weeks. Yes, it was only 2 weeks ago that I got defeated by none other than her royal highness herself, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and her five stupid friends. And it's been nothing short of hell. Absolute. Hell.
Rainbow Dash is not wrong. The five people who were tasked with teaching me the ways of friendship? When they're not completely oblivious to my entire existence, they're never too far from reminding me of my earlier shortcomings, or bragging about their own success. As if I'm not trying my damned hardest to forget all about that.
"I mean, she does still have a point though, darling. School has been much more pleasant without the constant threat of... well... you," Rarity said, attempting to save the situation. "Plus, it's been far too long since us five have been able to stand each other, yet alone have casual conversation."
If I had done my job right, then you still wouldn't be talking.
"Truly this is cause for much rejoicing and celebration." I really did not want to be talking to these five, but regardless of what my intentions may be, no one will actually think I'm trying to get better unless I at the very least tolerate them. They are, after all, my only refuge in a sea of dirty glares and other disgusting looks. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just not in the mood to be reminded every 30 seconds about the lowest point in my life."
"Well, it might help your image, if you were a bit less sarcastic, and a bit more friendly every once in a while. Can't you at least pretend to be glad for us that we're back together again?"
Ugh. These people are acting as though I was meant to have walked out of that crater, immediately a better person. Being blasted with friendship doesn't exactly mean I'm going to be a good friend straight away. Especially not with any of them.
"I'll remember to put pretending to care at the top of my to-do list."
"Now listen here Sunset," Applejack interjected. "I'm not expectin' you to be the most tolerable person right from the get go, but you're not gonna get anywhere with such a short fuse. We're just tryin' to help you become a good friend. That is what Twilight asked of us, and we're going to try our darn'd hardest to do that."
"Okay, I get that. But I don't exactly need you people ignoring me all the time, and then giving the most obvious of advice which you pass off as some profound gospel. I mean if you were so good at friendship, then it wouldn't have been so easy for me to break you up in the first place!"
Unfortunately, only once the words had finished coming out of my mouth, did I realise exactly what I had just said.
"...That really is a low blow Sunset. To bring our friendship that you yourself tried to ruin into this. The only thing keeping us helping you is the promise we made to Twilight, and don't think we're gonna stick ah'round if you keep actin' all high and mighty."
Frankly, even I think I deserved that. I wasn't gaining too many friendship points in this conversation.
"And besides! We may be saying what you think is obvious, but you're not exactly co-operating ya'self! You're the one who said you didn't know the first thing about friendship, and you expect us to just know what works with you and doesn't?"
I wanted to tell her how she'd know if she actually bothered to ask. Or paid attention. Or learnt anything from what has happened in the last 2 weeks. Namely that I don't need their help, that everything they do only makes things worse, and that I welcome them leaving me alone.
But by doing that, I might as well be shooting myself in the foot.
So instead I just decided to ignore her, and go back to eating my lunch in silence.
I do actually want to be a better person. There's something about being in a giant hole in the ground, looking up to someone who bested you with something you had written off as weakness, that really makes you reconsider your life. And in my case, with the two different lives I've experienced on both sides of the portal? I'm in for a lot more reconsidering, that's for sure.
It didn't take me very long however, to realize that the first steps I had to take were to be at least a little bit friendly. As a result I don't exactly appreciate being told to do the obvious. But I guess I can't hold it against them either. They are at the very least fulfilling the task Twilight asked of them.
And it's not like I haven't done nice things since then.
Frankly, Luna giving me a trowel and being expected to start rebuilding the front of the school was not at all the punishment I was predicting. I guess fixing the damage my magical transformation caused is a start, but I know I've done a lot worse than just mere property damage.
Not that I'm personally complaining, but I can't help but feel I'm getting off a bit light considering what I've managed to do to many of the students. Still not looking forward to how much work, hauling and dirt is going to be involved in the coming weeks, and possibly months...
But what did confuse me more than anything, and was begging to be asked was...
"Wait, why are Snips and Snails helping to rebuild too?" I said, confused seeing Snips and Snails, downtrodden, walking towards Luna and I with bricks and mortar.
"Excuse me Sunset? I don't exactly believe you're in a position to be asking questions about the way we punish our students." Vice Principal Luna replied looking at me with a glare, not expecting such a question from me. "You and I both know those two were just as much involved with your actions as you were. Therefore they deserve to receive a punishment just as much as you do."
Why do I even bother dealing with Vice Principal Luna? It's impossible to not end up on her bad list, and I haven't done anything to make her think to do otherwise. "Okay, let me be clear, I couldn't care less if you end up making them help, and any work they do is less work I have to do. But what I'm saying is, what did they do?"
"...I don't think I understand what you're asking me Sunset. And if it wasn't for the fact that you and I both know that putting off your punishment would only make it take longer, I would think you're stalling right now."
I sighed. "Look. I'll be blunt. Those two are idiots. Idiots who have no idea what they're doing. Idiots who were dumb enough to think listening to me could ever possibly be a good idea, and they paid the price for it." I'm doing a great job in the friendliness department, aren't I? "As long as they believe there'll be no punishment, you can get them to do pretty much anything."
"Despite how rude you put it, I can't exactly deny what you're saying," she responded, and folded her arms. "But, you're not exactly doing a good job explaining to me the point you're trying to get at. And I'm not so inclined to let you wait any longer."
"With me out of the picture, those two are just two defenseless idiots, who would be crushed the moment they so much as look at anyone funny. I can't protect them anymore, and they know this. They've already learned their lesson simply by being taken down a peg, and realizing that they're no longer invincible. That they can't hide behind me anymore."
I hung my head down low, swallowing what little pride remained from the nights events. "Listen, if I'm going to start becoming a better person, then the least I can do is not drag down anyone else's night with mine. Especially when the only reason they're involved in the mess is because of me."
"...I can't say you don't make a compelling argument. However, they did still carry out things that require punishment," she said to me, after contemplating my words briefly. "Very well. I'll take these two with me to see Principal Celestia, and she'll decide whether or not to follow through with the punishment." She turned to Snips and Snails and gestured them to follow her.
Before she left me to work, she turned her back and said, "I'll give you credit, Sunset. It's good to see you at least attempting a show of being nice so soon after the events of last night, genuine or not."
"Yeah, well, don't expect it to become a regular thing."
"And don't you expect to be treated any more lightly when it comes to your punishment."
A part of me was annoyed to see my attempt at being nice so quickly dismissed, but I knew that at that point, expecting to gain anything from being nice was asking way too much of the people who let me off lightly.
"Come on Sunset, what's your problem!" Oh great, it's Rainbow again. "You can't just keep ignoring us! If we're gonna actually you know, try and help you, even though it's more than you actually deserve, then the least you could do is make our lives a bit easier, and actually try yourself!"
You can keep ignoring them. There's nothing forcing you to respond.
Except getting hit in the shoulder by Rainbow's incredibly strong arm.
"Hey...! What's your big deal!?"
"My big deal? My big deal is you not even trying to be nice to us, even when we're wasting our time with the impossible task of making you a good person!"
This time, my silence is for a completely different reason. As much as her words hurt me, and on some level offend me, I can't dispute them in any way. I know I am a terrible person, and I don't exactly expect to turn around overnight, if ever.
"Now Rainbow Dash, that ther' was a bit harsh. Sure, I think we can all agree we're not all happy with this arrangement, but if we wanna make this thing work, we can't just be calling it impossible out of the gate."
"That was harsh? You were the one calling her out for her 'low blow'!"
"And I've already forgiven 'er".
I'm shocked. "...Why?" I respond meekly.
"Because. The whole point of making you a better person is to put you on the road to forgiveness, and at the very least, we should be the ones to do that."
"...I...I don't know what to say, I..."
"I think the words you're looking for, are 'thank you', dear." Thanks Rarity. You're the absolute best at giving obvious, simple instructions. But this time, I'll let it slide, cause that's exactly what I did.
"Yes. Thank you. Truly, I mean it." Well. Half true. I half meant it. I still hate all of you.
"Wooo! Group hug!"
"Pinkie, no group hugs!" I was quick to shout.
"Aww..."
"Ugggh. Look, I know we were just having a 'moment' about forgiving me, but this is exactly my problem. Can you not be so quick to think we're all 'buddy-buddy', just cause I crawled out of a large crater?"
"Well darling, maybe some of us just feel it is common courtesy to appear nice to people, even if they don't appreciate it. Besides, it's not like us being nice could cause problems for you."
No longer am I going to say my punishment was light. This is absolute torture.
Why you may ask? Well...
"Hi Sunny! What's that you're reading there?!" Oh no. It's Pinkie Pie. Someone, help me, please.
Maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away.
"..."
"...Is it interesting?"
"..."
"...Are you super invested and in to the book right now?"
"..."
"...Are you still awake?"
"..."
"...Let me see that!"
"Hey, wait-!" Too late. Before I could even realize what Pinkie was doing, she was taking the book I had in front of me away, and out of my vision.
"'The Updated Definitive Guide to the Canterlot Building Code'? Why would you be reading this Sunny? This looks so booooooring." She turned the book on to it's side. "And long too. How long a book do you need to explain a building code? How hard is it to describe four walls and a ceiling!"
"...Firstly, do not call me Sunny. Secondly, give that back! I need that!" I went to take it from Pinkie, but was interrupted by the one voice I didn't want to hear more than Pinkie...
"Sunset Shimmer! What did I tell you about distracting yourself during your punishment?!" said the voice belonging to none other than Principal Celestia herself, standing eerily close behind me.
Arms still stretched out towards Pinkie, I'm completely frozen.
"...That doing so would only make my punishment longer," I said in a calm voice that betrayed my actual thoughts.
"Correct. You know exactly why I asked you to study that, and it's important you understand it correctly." She took the book from Pinkie, gave it to me, and turned to walk away. "Now I don't want to see you conversing and being negligent with your study again, or I'll actually follow through with extending your punishment next time."
She turned to face Pinkie. "Sunset here needs to study the Canterlot Building Code so she can help the builders that are coming in to replace the glass and the doors when she's done laying the bricks. I'd appreciate if you and the girls could leave her to study, and not tempt her."
"Uhh, yes ma'am....?"
Pinkie was keenly aware of the pencil in my grip snapping throughout the exchange.
"It's true! That did actually happen," Pinkie said, with way more excitement than was necessary. Then again, that's Pinkie in a nutshell.
"Okay, fine. But that was one time," Rainbow retorted. "Besides, things are bound to go wrong with Pinkie around anyway!"
"Hey! I represent that!"
"Darling, I think you mean you 'resent' that," Rarity added.
"That too!"
"Ah'm with Dash on this one" Applejack said. "You can't exactly blame Pinkie, and it's not like this has been a regular occurrence with us."
The only action I made was to raise an eyebrow in an incredulous manner.
"...Right?"
"Seriously Sunset, I can't deny it suits you, but surely you could get a jacket that looks a bit better than that one, no?"
"..."
"I mean, it's just so plain! It's just leather, and nothing else! Nothing to make it interesting! It might as well just be any old jacket then, and not your jacket."
"..."
"Plus, don't get me started on what you could do with that hair of yours! There's so much room to work with there, you easily coul-"
"Sunset Shimmer!" the teacher yelled. "I don't know about you, but I think it's bad form for you to be chatting in class, especially when you're already in the middle of receiving punishment. And Rarity! I would hope you'd consider not encouraging her."
They all just sat in silence.
"...Uh-Well, yes. Uhm. You see-"
"Don't worry Sunset, just stick by me and we'll be sure to win the dodgeball game! I'm the best at this game! No one is as awesome as me in this!"
"..."
"Besides, I don't think everyone is going to immediately go for you. The school may be angry at you, but I don't think they're that angry! Besides, they want to win right? They'll all want to go after me!"
"..."
"...Right?"
"..."
"Are you going to say anything to me at all?"
"Sunset! Rainbow! I'm putting you on different teams, cause clearly you can't stop yapping to each other!"
"....Oops."
"...Okay, we ge-"
"Ah tell ya! Workin' on the farm just might be the best thing I get to do on mah weekend. How about you, you do anything special?"
"..."
"Surely there's something you do outside of school that is fun? School can't possibly be everything for you, right?"
"..."
"...Or maybe it is, I won't judge."
"..."
"Look here sugarcu-"
"Sunset Shimmer! I-"
"...Okay, I concede. We're not particularly good at talking to you at appropriate times," Rarity relented on behalf of the group.
"Ya think?" Conceding doesn't protect you from my sarcasm, Rarity. Nor does it make me hate you any less.
"But you could still easily go out of your way to talk to us at times that are more appropriate for you." Gosh darn it Rarity, just give up! You don't need to win this conversation! "If we're going to be friends, we can't do everything ourselves, you have to be willing to put some effort in too."
"Given how everyone in the school, students and teachers, seem to be assuming the worst of me at every moment, I don't think any time could be considered an appropriate time. Look, the only one here who hasn't somehow managed to get me in trouble, or just in general get on my nerves, is Fluttershy, and she hasn't even spoken this whole time!"
"...Uhm. She's correct... I haven't really said anything in the time we've been here..."
"Sorry, I sometimes forget that you're here." I remarked, perfectly aware of my hypocrisy in calling out Rainbow for the same thing.
"Hey! No need to be mean to Fluttershy!" Rainbow said, completely unaware of the hypocrisy in having done the same for me.
Truly these are the greatest of friends a person or pony could have. Good for me.
I just hope I don't gain the urge to kill myself from continuing to be exposed to these idiots.
"Rainbow Dash, I don't exactly think you have a right to be saying that, all things considered," Rarity sai-Wait, Rarity came to my defense? Huh. That's new.
"What, why?!"
"Just... Don't worry." I'm sorry Rarity. I know how hard it is to explain hypocrisy in terms of stupid. Being around Snips and Snails means I have more than enough experience to feel that pain...
"Well sugarcube, I guess you can at the very least be glad the wall is done."
"Only after coming in on weekends, staying after school, and losing all of my breaks," I said, with no attempts to hide the annoyance I felt. "And besides, I still need to work on filling in the crater after school. I'm not exactly off the hook yet."
"Awwww! I already had a 'Congratulations on Finishing Your Punishment' party ready!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"....A 'Congratulations on Finishing Your Punishment' party?"
"Yes! A 'Congratulations on Finishing Your Punishment' party!"
"...That is the worst idea I've ever heard, and I've heard Trixie try to explain how she intends to make a career out of stage magic."
"..............*snicker*"
"...Hahaha! Oh Sunny, you're funny!"
...I just made a joke, didn't I?
Oh no... I'm becoming friendly already...