Rainbow Dash began telling the story.
Well basically kid, it works like this. Big Mac over there thought we were both being incredibly stupid. And, well, we were. So he sat us down at this table. By that I mean he tied us to the chairs. What is it with this family and ropes? It’s like you have a bondage fetish.
So there we were tied to the table and nobody said anything for what must have been three hours. I kept trying to wiggle my way out of the ropes but I had forgotten Mac was an Eagle Scout. So he knew his knots. Big Mac had been doing something else during those three hours, letting us marinate. When he saw that we hadn’t said a word he sat down and said.
“So I don’t understand why y’all are angry at each other.” As if the reason wasn’t obvious. Heck I think the chickens heard it.
Applejack was the first to answer. “She insulted our business!”
“Now what would make her do something like that?”
I was going to answer but Big Mac anticipated it and held up his hand.
Applejack didn’t say anything for a while, and we stared at her. “Well I might have called her a flaming dyke.”
“I mean, I’ll accept the charges but that was just rude.”
“I mean, come on sis, guys hit on me all the time, don’t mean I call ‘um fags. And if memory serves you agreed to date her so I guess you’re as big a dyke as her.”
“I… Guess that’s fair to say.”
“I still don’t see the problem. Why were you fighting in the first place?”
Now, of course, was time to give my side of the story. “Well, see, every time we were getting heated she’d just stop. So I had the equivalent of blue balls, basically.”
...
“Welcome to my world.” Sweetie interjected into the narrative.
“Hey!” Scooter objected.
...
Well, on top of wanting to get laid, I wanted to share the experience with her. You know how it is, it’s a million times better if it isn’t just a one-nighter but someone you care about. So anyway I told him that and so he asked the question that was originally on my mind.
“Why don’t you feel comfortable?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re not leaving until we get an answer” he said.
“I don’t know, I guess… I guess it’s because.” Applejack chewed on the answer a bit. “I’m jealous of how you can be so secure. And I know for whatever reason my parents preached that love doesn’t care what you are but it’s just… harder than you think.”
Granny came shambling in. We didn’t know it at the time but she was sitting in the other room listening. “I might be able to shed some light on that,” she began. “Well you see, your ‘mother’ was actually a man at heart. She tied up her chest and cut her hair. Love doesn’t care and well, we ended up with three beautiful grandkids.”
“Oh, well that explains a lot actually. Why weren’t we told? We called her mom all the time.”
“Try to think about the time period.” And so we understood.
“An’ then I understood that just because you might get stared at for holding hands or kissing doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. And just because people might not like the idea of two girls rolling in the sheets doesn’t mean it should get in the way of doing it.”
“So we reached an agreement. I’ll tone down the PDA (Like, you know, the whole trashy put-my-hand-down-your-pants kind) in public but we’ll still go on dates. It was so satisfying to tell the waitress we were together.”
“Awww, that’s cute.” Sweetie said.
“And of course we’re working on the whole, ‘communication without strangulation’ thing. Today was our first time because I still wasn’t sure about my feelings. But then, I dunno, I guess I saw Rainbow one day as more than a friend. I’m trying to think of this cheesy line in a romance…” Applejack rubbed her temples in an attempt to bring forth the words. “I realized she could make me smile just by thinking about her and I was thinking about her all the time. She glowed like the sunrise and tasted of raindrops…”
“Oh god shut up that’s enough.” Scooteroll interrupted. “I’m happy for you both and I hope it works out. And believe me, accepting your gay is probably the hardest part.”
“Yeah, but she loves me so I can learn to accept myself.”
“Now that sounds like a cheesy line from a rap song.” Rainbow chuckled.
“I think it is,” Scooter said.
“Anyway,” Applejack said, “We got a road ahead of us and we’ll walk down together. I can’t say how long, but we’ll be OK.”
Rainbow nodded.
“So what are you going to do today?” Scooter asked.
“I have a mandate with Button.” Rumble said.
“Awww,” Apple Bloom cooed. “You go on ahead.”
“I’ have a book I’ve been wanting to get to.” Sweetie said, a little sad.
“Alright then,” Scooter agreed.
“I got my own stuff to do, ya know.” Apple Bloom said.
“Damn. Guess I’ll do something on my own.”
“It’s only been like 14 hours since we had a date, you can manage.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m behind on my own reading too”
Scooter could be independent, sure, but life seemed brighter with one of his harem around. In truth she was in the middle of a good book and kept getting interrupted, so maybe today wouldn’t be so bad anyway. He made it a chapter before something stopped him. Typical. A gentle knocking on his door. He expected Rainbow Dash to offer some kind words about his new transformation. Instead, it was his mother. Prism Dash, not his biological mother. She had a restraining order.
“What’s up?” He grumbled. His book was just getting good! Ugh!
“Well, I just heard two interesting pieces of information. The first one is that we were all mistaken and you’re a boy.” Scooter nodded and told her his new name.
“I’ll admit I’m not even sure but I kinda like it.”
“Well, just let us know what happens. If I’ve learned anything from Dash it’s that you can be manly as hell and still call yourself a girl.”
“I heard that!” Rainbow shouted across the hall. They all laughed.
“The second is that you took apart an engine and put it back together, but don’t know if it works.”
“Yeah, um. I dunno, I just kinda wanted to. It was Apple Bloom’s idea.”
“Ya wanna take apart a working vehicle?”
“Um… what if I do and it doesn’t work?” Scootaloo remembered the VCR… and her parent’s DVD player before that. And a microwave… and so on.
“Well then I can probably fix it and show you what you did wrong. So how bout it?”
“Alright.”
“This was my first car,” Prism said. “1958 Corvette. Still runs, but I don’t take her out much. She’s getting up in the miles and I’m half-expecting the engine to blow up.” Scooter beheld the sleeping giant. They didn’t make cars like this anymore. Curves in all the right places, bright red, burning with passion and got about ten miles to the gallon.
“She eats brakes for breakfast and drinks oil like milk but I still love her. You always remember your first… anyway. If you need help just let me know.” Prism turned to leave.
“Wait!” Scooter said “How do you get the engine out?” He asked, ashamed he didn’t know.
“Oh well that’s easy, let me help.”
….
Scooter wiped the sweat from his brow, smudging it with oil. It was hot in the garage, the spring day greenhousing into summer. Scooteroll loved it. He looked at the clock and saw three hours passed. Well, the engine was put back together but he had no idea how to put it back. He clomped his boots a few times on the rug to get any gunk off before heading in to fetch his mother. They dropped it back in with a chain and a series of pullies. “So, wanna take her for a spin?” Prism asked.
“What if it blows up?”
“Nah, worst case is it falls out on the road. Or grinds to a halt. You put oil in it?”
“Yeah, duh.”
Prism chuckled. “We’ll be fine. C’mon, I’ll ride with you so that way we’ll both blow up.”
Scooter shook his head but agreed anyway.
Then he realized he had never driven before and started shaking. Prism told him to relax and, with all of the techniques he learned, he did. He took the thing around the block and it didn’t seem like it was going to blow up. It rumbled like a snoring dragon, but that was just power. And Scooter fell in love.
But the ride was over and Scooter held out the keys. “Oh, no, you keep them.”
Scooter blinked. “Does that mean…”
“She’s yours.”
“Oh my gosh thank you thank you thank you! I’ll take really good care of it and I’ll make sure it’s cleaned and waxed and--”
Prism put a hand on his head, shutting him up. “I know you will. I’ll start teaching you how to drive and once you get your license, just think about all the chicks you can pick up.” Prism laughed, but Scooter took it too seriously.
“I’m already spoken for…. by like three people.”
“Well you can pick them up. She seats five if you don’t mind the squeeze.”