//------------------------------// // A Flight to Remember. // Story: Planet Express's Package Pony // by MrAquino //------------------------------// The crew landed back in the Planet Express building. Their hair was ruffled, their clothes are torn and dirty, all because of a delivery/ "That was the worst delivery ever." Leela spoke "Yeah. I'm never going to another planet called "Cannibalon"!" Fry added " Me neither." Bender added "Food was good, though." Derpy followed, wearing what a golden crown on her head and holding a scepter with her face on it. "You guys are crazy." She spoke "I'm a God to those idiots!" They walked into the meeting where, where Farnsworth sat at the table, drinking tea. "Oh, great news, everyone!" He spoke "Shove it! We quit!" Bender yelled "They do!" Derpy quickly spoke "I don't!" "In that case, I'll have to hire a new crew to go on our company vacation." Farnsworth replied "Vacation!?" Derpy and Leela asked in unison "Alright!" Bender cheered, high-fiving Fry. "This is great!" Fry spoke "I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24." "It's just my way of thanking you for not reporting my countless violations of safety and minimum wage laws." The Professor complimented. "Aww, you!" Bender replied, knocking Farnsworth affectionately on the shoulder. "Wait? We can report that crap?" Derpy asked. "I've booked us all on the maiden voyage of the largest, most luxurious space cruise ship ever built." The professor continued, pulling out a brochure. "The Titanic!" "...Looks nice." Leela commented. Derpy flapped her wings. "I gotta tell Mario about this!" She spoke before flying off. "MARIO!!! GET THE BOOMBOX READY!!!" The entire staff emerged from the travel tubes in the departure area, which looks similar to that of an airport from Fry's time. While everyone brought their own luggage, Derpy sat on Mario's head, who was carrying her luggage, though slow. "Mistress," Mario whined "I don't think you need all of this stuff!" "Quit your whining!" Derpy replied "High Ho! Mario away!!!" "I sense a huge load of Irony." "Hey, uh, where's my suitcase?" Fry asked. His suitcase flew out from the tube and knocks him. Everyone stood in the crowd as Mayor Poopenmeyer stood in front of the Titanic and gave a speech. "As Mayor of New New York, it's my pleasure to introduce the honorary captain for the Titanic's maiden voyage. A man who single-handedly defeated the Retiree People of the Assisted Living Nebula: Zapp Brannigan!" Zapp walked forward and waved to the crowd. The crowd cheered and applaud. "Oh, God! Not Zapp Brannigan!" Derpy and Leela yelled in unison. "You know Zapp Brannigan?" Zpidberg asked "Let's just say we've "crossed paths"." Leela answered "Was that before or after you slept with him?" Bender asked "Shut up!" Derpy yelled, pulling a hammer and knocking Bender's antennae in. "If I had my laser, then I'd Exterminate him!" Mario added "Then I'd exterminate you all!" "She's a beautiful ship, alright." Zapp spoke "Shapely ... seductive. I'm gonna fly her brains out." The crowd applauded. Zapp held up his hand and they stop. "And now, without further adieu, I christen this ship, Titanic." Kif handed him Leonardo DiCaprio's head in a jar. Zapp smashes it against the side of the ship, DiCaprio's head bounces away as the crowd applauds and cheers. Derpy flew and took Leonardo's head. "Aw, it's okay," she spoke "I'm pretty sure you got that Oscar!" Leonardo teared up and whined. "WHY DIDN'T I WIN AN OSCAR!?!?!?" "Oh! That wasn't you that played as you not winning on Oscar, Ironically winning an Oscar at the Oscar awards?" He bawled even louder. She hugged him and patted his. "Aw, it's alright. Al least you can forget J. Edgar." "Thanks." The head of J. Edgar Hoover spoke sarcastically before being rolled in. Derpy saw Leela approaching to Zapp. "Sorry, but I'm gonna need you for this." She flew up and dropped Leonardo onto Zapp's head, knocking both unconscious. Derpy landed and took out an Oscar she stole on Cannibalon, hastily posting Leonardo's name onto it, and leaving it next to the head. "There. That's Oscar worthy." The Titanic left earth and began it's cruise with everyone onboard. The crew walked across polished floors and past a grand wooden staircase of the First Class State Room, stopping at Farnsworth's Stateroom. Mario, Derpy, and Bender stopped, seeing a well-dressed Fembot. Bender Purred. "Ooh! Sexy Fembot." Derpy teased "I'd love to see her parts." "What the-!?" Bender yelled, running into the room embarrassed. "She is no Dalek," Mario commented, turning and entering the room. "But will be a good target to Exterminate." The two entered the room. "Now, Hermes," Farnsworth spoke "you and your lovely wife, LaBarbara, have the suite through there. And Dr. Zoidberg, your marble tank is on the other side. "Man, first class seems nice." Fry spoke, bouncing on a green chair. Derpy rested on the side of chair's arms, rolling into a ball with what sounded like a small purr. "Yeah, this is nice." she added. "It'll be even nicer once you've seen your room." Farnsworth replied, handing Amy the key. The crew, Amy, Derpy, and Mario entered an elevator. " Looks like we're on the Fiesta Deck." Amy said, pressing a button. The Elevator descended and they saw the floors they passed; The second class deck contained lots of T-shirt wearing tourists with fat children and cameras. "Eh, too noisy." Derpy commented. The Steerage had where lots of stereotypical Irish people dancing. "Ooh! That looks fun!" laundry was already filled with clothes in the process of being, well, washed "I feel kinda sick." the bowels the ship had men shoveling coal into furnaces. "Ooh! I think I see some sexy guys in there!" It stopped at the Fiesta deck and the doors opens to a dank, dripping corridor. They walked for a moment and found their room. "This is it." Leela announced, though not very excited. She opened the door and groaned. "Well at least we get a window!" Fry cheered, pulling a blind up and is blasted in the face with reactor fumes. "Well, I'm tired of this room and everyone in it." Bender spoke "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna pop over to the casino for the next 135 hours!" " I think I'll go and fill up on bisque at the buffet." Amy added "And I'm gonna join that party!" Derpy added, putting on a leprechaun hat from her luggage. "Let's dance away, Mario!!! And make me a sibling, you too!" "DERPY!!!" Fry and Leela shouted in unison. "EXTERMINATE!!!" Mario yelled, rolling to the elevator. Derpy and Mario entered the Steerage, all of the Irish people dancing wildly while drinking booze. "Look, Mario!" Derpy pointed "Power for your systems!" "Daleks do not consume Alcohol!" Mario yelled "Oi! The keg is here!" One of the Irishmen yelled, grabbing Mario. "I AM NOT A KEG!!!" "The Keg can talk!" Another Irishman yelled "It's a beerbot!!!" "I AM NOT A BEERBOT!!!" "Drink Harty, my friends!" The Irishmen took Mario away from Derpy. "Wait!" Derpy yelled, giving flapping her wings "Mario! I'm-" "Allons-y!!!" The familiar voice spoke. Derpy froze and looked around. Then, in a corner, next to some women, was the strange stallion himself. He wore what looked liked a robot on his back; it's arms mimicking his front hooves, the legs copying his back hooves, fake pupils that blinked whenever he did underneath a pair of goggles. Derpy approached him as the women laughed at one of his jokes. "Make a potassium joke?" He asked "K!" He and the women laughed. "Oh, Doctor!" one of them spoke "Where do you get these jokes!?" "Why, my dear friend, it's just my natural ability to mix science and comedy. You can say it's... a good Chemistry!" they laughed again. "Uh, sir?" Derpy spoke. "Who said that?" The robot top looked around, then below. "Ah! 'Allo, what's this? Is that... a pegasus? Did we meet before? Inside the bowels of a space whale?" "A space whale? No, but why are you wearing a robot on you?" "Robot? I have no idea what you mean. I'm just a natural human on board the mighty vessel of-" As he monologued, Derpy walked to the stallion and took the goggles off. The robot deactivated, revealing that there was a hologram around it, and fell off. The Stallion froze in place and looked around. The cheerful music stopped as everyone turned around to see him. "Uh... Neigh?" "GET 'IM!!!" One of the Irishwomen spoke. The crowd bursted into a violent rage, the strange stallion running for his life, avoiding any kicks and things thrown at him, along with Derpy. The two ran into and exited through the elevator. They panted, catching their breath. "Guess... I won't need this." Derpy panted, dropping her hat. The Stallion stood up and coughed into his right front hoof. "How did you see me past my disguise?" He asked "It's wasn't that hard. Your disguise sucked!" "Wasn't hard? Wait... what's wrong with your eyes?" She glared at him. "'What's wrong with my eyes'? Got a problem with my eyes!?" "N-Not what I meant! Well... they're not exactly... straight... and I think I can-" "I was born this way, Jackass! I don't need help! I can see just fine! And you told me that I'd meet you here!" "Wait! I did!?" "Yeah! About a month ago!" The Doctor stared for a moment, then pondered to himself. "Hm... A Month ago?" "Yeah, and with your twin brother." "Twin Brother!?" "Looked exactly like you, but had a different accent." "Twing Brother? A month ago? Hm... what's your name?" "It's Derpy. Derpy Hooves. And who are you, sir?" "The Doctor." "Doctor Who?" "Exactly!" "Exactly what?" "That!" "What's that!?" "What's what?" "Wait... whait!?" "Who." "You?" "Dr. Who." "Dr. Who?" "Yes." She stared at him. "Okay, enough games! Show me your box!" "Box?" She grabbed his bowtie "We're not doing this again! Where's your blue box!?" "Oh! You mean the TARDIS?" "TARDIS?" "It's short for Time And Relative Dimension In Space." "...Okay. Can you show me it?" "Can you release me?" "Sure." She released him. "Oof! You know, for a little thing like you, you have quite the grip." The door opened and they exited into the Casino. "Thanks. I train hard with my mother." "And who is your mom?" "Turanga Leela. She's a cyclops." "Wait... did you just say Cyclops!?" "Yep! She told me to not be embarrassed by my looks." "Oh... she sounds nice." "She is, until you make her angry and she kicks you ass." "Oh. Have any other family?" "Well... there's Fry, my deadbeat uncle. Hermes, my bureaucratic uncle. Professor Farnsworth, sorta my genius grandpa. Amy, my rich and cute aunt. That one Janitor no one knows, that Decapodian-" "A what!?" "Zoidberg's a complete quack, and- Hey! Bender!!!" She ran to Bender, who sat in front of an i-Zac robot, which looked liked it had an afro and mustache. She sat next to him. "Hey, Derpy." Bender greeted "Tired of dealing with those alcoholic idiots and want to hang out where the good booze is at?" "Not really. I got kicked out." "Aw, too bad. ...Did you bring some gold with you?" "Yep!" She pulled out a huge pot of gold. "I even stole their lucky charms!" She pulled out a box of Lucky Charms. Bender giggled. "And I thought for a minute you actually stole LUCKY charms!" "Eh, it would've been too heavy." The doctor poked at Bender's ass, making him jump. "Hey! Who's touching my ass!?" "Incredible!" The doctor commented "A robot that's nearly as sentient as that of a human being!?" "Oh, I though you were commenting on my glorious ass." "Quite the foul mouthed one, aren't you?" "Ahem." Derpy interrupted. "Bender, meet the Stallion. Stallion, meet Bender." "It's the Doctor. Quite obliged." "Eh, whatever." Bender dismissed "Go and do what you want to do. If you get in trouble, remember?" "I do." Derpy replied "Bribe them." "Good girl. Now, if you excuse me, I got myself a countess to acquaintance myself with." Derpy whistled at him. "Be sure to take her land." "Oh, I will do more than that!" He got off and made his way to the countess. Derpy and the Doctor continued their way. "You steal?" He asked as they entered another elevator, heading to the rooftop. "I don't get in trouble if I'm not caught." Derpy replied with a smug. "Really? What have you stolen?" "This metal stick you have." she held the weird invention in her hoof. The doctor patted himself. "How did you-!?" "I'm that good." "Gimme that!" He snatched it away from her. "That's the tool I use and trust in the most! It's saved not just my life multiple times, but other lives as well!" She was surprised at his actions. He wasn't lying at all, but was genuine. "Oh... I'm sorry. I-I didn't realize it was that important to you." "...It's alright. Just don't snag it again." They exited the elevator and headed to the rooftop. At the very end, the Stallion's blue box stood there, almost standing & telling both of the 'I've been waiting'. The doctor approached the TARDIS and laid his head on the side, gently petting it with his right hoof. "Hey, sexy. I'm black, like I said." "Are... are you seriously talking to a box?" "Shh! Don't say that around her! Oh, it's okay, she didn't mean it. Derpy, you may not believe it, but the TARDIS is a living machine, able to feel like us, but she's hesitant around new people. Think of her... as a cat." "...okay?" She walked to the TARDIS, but looked over the railing. Below her, Leela and Fry stood together. Below them, Hermes & his wife, LaBarbara, Bender & the Countess, and Amy's parents. And, below them, was Zoidberg & a jellyfish woman, and the Professor with the crazy old woman from Fry & Bender's other apartment. "Looks like everybody's got somebody." Derpy and Leela spoke in unison without hearing each other. "Except me. "And me." Fry and the Doctor spoke as well. Derpy looked at him. "But didn't you say-?" she asked "I did." He interrupted "but she's a machine, and she's more or less a close friend." Derpy stared at him. Her heart began to pound, loud, louder, and louder! Soon, she could only hear her heart pounding almsot a hundred times per second. He tilted his head in curiosity. "Are you-?" "NO!!! I'm not in love with you!!! What do you think I am!? A Cougar!? I'm no cougar! In fact! I hope this ships goes into a blackhole before I get feelings for you!!!" The place shook and the Doctor fell on her, both accidentally locking lips and kissing! Derpy quickly struggled, but it ended as quick, and she grabbed onto the Doctor's head, keeping him from preventing their accidental kiss. The Doctor, however, noticed, and struggled, kicking her off! "What the-!? What did you just-!?" "I LOVE YOU!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, BUT I LOVE YOU!!!" He quickly got up, but the place shook again. He turned around, only to see that they were heading straight to a blackhole. "...We're heading straight to a blackhole." "GOD DAMN IT!!!" "To the TARDIS! That's our way out!" He ran and opened the TARDIS's door entering. Derpy followed, but gasped as she entered. "It's bigger on the inside!" The doctor chuckled at what she said. "I love it when they say that." "Who?" "Better hold on to something! This is gonna get rough! ALLONS-Y!!!" He pulled a lever and the place shook. Derpy held onto the railing inside. "Gotta make a quick save and... NOW!!!" The door opened and the Countess that Bender was after entered. "Oh! Gracious me!" she spoke "Doctor!? You came back!" "Of course I did, my assistant." "ASSISTANT!?!?!?" Derpy yelled "Yes, she's my assistant. I always have one on my adventures. Where were you, Countess de la Roca?" "Oh, my apologies, Doctor." The robot replied, standing up. "I was in the Casino, hoping to win some more money, up until this Bender unit approached me, winning me over, Doctor." "Countess? Need I remind you on finding love?" "No, Doctor. I remember." "Oh crap!" Derpy yelled "I forgot about my assistant, Mario!!!" "Mario?" The Doctor asked "He was in the same room where we meet!" "Oh, give me a second... and... now!" The door opened again and Mario entered. Derpy flew to Mario, who crashed onto one of the walls. "Mario!? Say something!" Mario looked around and saw the Doctor, who gasped. "THE DOCTOR!?!?!?" Mario yelled in anger. "A DALEK!?!?!?" The Doctor yelled, but in fear. "EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!" The doctor ran behind the controls and pulled out both the device that saved his life, and a boombox. He aimed it at the boombox, which glowed blow, and loud music played. Mario screamed while turning around in circles. "Mario!?" Derpy asked, concerned. "What's happening!?" She turned to the Doctor "And what are you doing!?" "I'm saving your life!" He yelled back. Derpy charged and knocked the boombox, smashing it underneath her hooves. The Doctor Tackled Derpy away. "What are you doing!? Didn't you hear what I said!?" "I did! You're hurting my friend!" "Friend!? Mario is not your friend! He's a Dalek!" "That's what he says! He's funny!" "No! Daleks aren't funny! They are cold, calculative, heartless blobs of mass within that machine you see! It is using you to do what it wants, and when it's finished, you will be killed! I have seen my kind become extinct because of them! Because of them, I am alone in this galaxy!!! Because of them, I am the JUDGE, JURY, AND EXECUTIONER OF WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES!!! I AM THE DOCTOR!!! I AM THE ONE WHO CAN SAVE YOU, SO LISTEN TO ME!!!" Derpy shook wildly at the stallion. For someone who was pretty funny, a bit calm with some forms of panic when they meet, this was the first time he was actually frightening. "... We're the last of our kind?" she whimpered, tearing up a bit. He stared for a bit, but took a deep, rubbing his forehead. "No, you aren't. I am." "...What?" "It's hard to explain, but-" "Doctor." Countess de la Roca interrupted. "It's safe." "Safe!? How!?" "'Mario's' blaster is blown off. All he can do is scan." The doctor climbed the ladder, followed by Derpy. Mario stared at the Doctor, his glowing blue 'eye' never leaving him. "So, you can't kill anyone?" "Incorrect, Doctor." Mario replied "I can't exterminate anyone at will! There are other ways to kill you!" "Aw, but without your stupid blaster, you're utterly useless!" "I am not useless! I am a Dalek at heart! I am-" Derpy landed on his head. "He's my friend." Derpy interrupted "Assistant." The Doctor stared at the two, then smiled. "Well, it seems you aren't wrong, Derpy." He spoke, turning back to the controls. "Now, where do you live?" "The Planet Express Building." Derpy replied. "Um... and Doctor?" "Yes?" "You... you're frightening." "...I'm sorry, but had I known... 'Mario'... wasn't functioning well, then this would be a different story. And we're here!" "Already?" Derpy asked "How?" "What the hell is this!?" Bender's voice was heard, muffled. "Oh thank God!" Fry spoke "I need to use the bathroom really bad!" Derpy blinked. "Well, it's nice being with you." The Doctor spoke, heading to the controls. "What are you doing?" Derpy asked "Going wherever I go. But rest assure, Derpy, we will meet again! Hopefully, you'll understand more." The TARDIS began to appear & dissapear with the same sound from earlier, along with the Doctor and Countess de la Roca, until they were gone. Derpy and Mario stood still, blinking. "Aw, the bathroom left." Fry whined. "Derpy!?" Leela asked in shock, grabbing and hugging her tightly. "Where were you!? I was worried sick!!! What happened!?" "... I meet that strange stallion." she spoke. "That guy?" Bender asked "Yeah... call me crazy, but I think he's a time traveler." "What makes you say that?" Farnsworth asked "...Just a hunch."