Mr N. stood over Ki’s unconscious form, smiling softly.
“Don’t worry, ladies and gentle-colts,” He assured a few worried patrons, “Fool just couldn’t hold his alcohol. You know how humans are.”
The observation was met with understanding laughter, and the pimp gestured to two nearby changelings, “You girls take him and let him sleep it off in a pod. A night of pleasant dreams and he’ll be back on his feet by morning.”
They picked up the human between them in their magic and followed their boss backstage. As they navigated the maze of passages into the underhive, a familiar, homely, brown mare trotted up and scowled, and then broke into a fit of giggles, “It actually worked?”
“How could your majesty have so little faith?” Mr. N kissed the mare on the cheek as she flashed into a shapely grey blue changeling queen, with a curly deep blue mane and tail. Her holes were prominent but were worn so proudly that they did nothing to diminish her, but added a sharp edge to her grace, “Of course it worked, or at least it will, my dearest Lepidopteria, The fool never even suspected he was being drugged. The rest depends on our sweet Anypony.”
A changeling mare appeared as if summoned, “You called, boss?”
“Yes,” Mr. N smiled showing all his fangs as he gestured at the unconscious human, “You know the plan. Copy that human perfectly. Remember, you’re deceiving one of the most powerful, most clever beings in Equestria. Despite the ridiculous goat disguise, that IS still Discord, the Lord of Chaos, and we’d like to keep in his good graces. That means it’s imperative that he not realize our deception. Once in Canterlot, you will stand trial most likely for whatever that poor imitation of me is being held accountable for, and escape as soon as possible.”
“Understood, boss,” the changeling nodded.
“Good,” Mr. N smiled, “Remember no one must suspect that you are not the human known as Ki, or that the real Ki never left Fillydelphia, so leave a trail going practically anywhere else. Once that has been accomplished, you are to rejoin Whatserface and help in the subversion of the Canterlot hive, and ensure that the production and distribution of the product continues.”
“Anything else boss?” the changeling asked.
“One thing,” Mr Nopony added, “Figure out what the connection is between the human and Z-978… and break it.”
“Well,” Queen Lepidopteria cocked her head, “That seems excessive. You aren’t becoming attached to that little cockroach? I’d hate to have to squish her.”
“Not at all, my dear,” Mr. N flashed his most winning smile, “It just offends me that this ape is a path that could have been mine. He’s so pathetic, so lacking in ambition. Anything I can take from him, I will.”
“You shouldn’t be self-conscious, dear,” the Queen said soothingly, “I, for one, fail to see the resemblance at all.”
“Well,” the changeling grinned, “I did get my good-looks after I got here, I have to admit.”
-=-=-=-=-
“Wakey, wakey, monkey boy,” Ki awoke to a hard strike across the face, “Ah, there you are. Sleep well? I know you did. Tainted Love is powerful shit. I didn’t even have to drug you. I’m a little disappointed about that. I haven’t roofied anypony in a long time. Haven’t roofied a human in even longer.”
Ki tried to move, but found himself tied firmly to a chair, “What the fuck man?!?!”
“Oh, come on, you had to have seen this coming,” Mr. N chuckled, “Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe along with your other faults, you’ve got some kind of pathetic morality. You’re like the most pathetic mirror in the fun house. But, it’s like I said, you’ve got nobody but yourself to blame for this one. Sure I WAS gonna have you drugged, but given that you drank four shots of the TL… you know that stuff is basically pony absinth, right?”
“Wait a minute,” Ki started laughing hysterically, “You're not a pimp! The whole whore house is a cover. You’re a drug dealer!”
“Well, yeah,” the changeling admitted, somewhat puzzled, “And you’re kinda raining on my villainous monologue, here. What the fuck is it you find so damned funny?”
“I thought you were me,” Ki laughed, “Like this world’s version of me.”
A hoof to the jaw sent Ki’s lower teeth smashing into his unprotected, fleshy, upper palate. He spit blood as he laughed.
“You’re nothing little man,” Mr. N seethed in fury, “You’re a pale reflection of me at best! PG-13 Mr. Nopony, that’s the best I’d rate you!”
“You’re Iam Noone,” Ki took the hoof to the face with a smile, and continued, “Look at you! You dirty little OC. All reincarnated, actually succeeding at being evil. I’m almost sorry I wrote you wandering off and drowning in a bog that one time.”
“Right now your little roach-slut-would-be-mare-friend is on a train to Canterlot with three kegs of my Tainted Love, and the technology to make more,” Nopony snarled, silencing Ki’s outburst, “That’s right, I turned Z-978 into a drug mule. Do I have your attention now? Good.”
“You know,” Ki said without a trace of humor, “There was a point at which I thought, the text is just doing to me what I did to my OC, over and over, and I kinda talked myself into believing I deserved it, living in that nightmare, I mean. But now I’m starting to see why I always started your story after the lobotomy.”
“The story ends differently when I have a whole brain to play with,” Nopony spit in Ki’s face to drive home his point.
“This story ends the same way your last story ended,” Ki cracked his own crooked smile, “Ima drown you in a bog and drag you to hell. It’s just gonna be more hands-on this time.”
“In any case you don’t have to worry about whatever-it-was that had you being dragged back to Canterlot over,” Mr. N smiled softly as he turned to leave, “I sent a changeling to stand in for you. See, I’m a nice guy, although I don’t think your stand-in will leave a very good impression on little Z.”