It's amazing how a pony can change so easily. Sigmund changed in a matter of seconds, from concerned to enraged. So did Fluttershy, from nurturing to fearful. So why was it so hard for you to do the same? Why couldn't you change from pessimistic to optimistic? Well, according to Sigmund and the medical staff, it was because the memory of your parents is overriding any form of optimism. The memory which has not haunted you for the last two days. And again, according to Sigmund, there was something that triggered the release of another memory. As it would happen the trigger is one of your greatest fears: interaction.
You had many fears, none of which you liked to admit. Although they ranged from a variety of different phobias, you were certain that little to no other ponies had the same. You didn't fear anything rational, such as spiders, water, clowns, the dark, heights, or anything of that sort. No, your fears were unique. Just like yourself.
You feared your past. What if your past was riddled with horrible memories of abuse? Your case file had said otherwise, but you knew that your memories held your truth, not the case file. The future was also something you feared. What if you're never able to cope with the death of your parents? Are you to spend the rest of your life a cruel, worthless, anti-socialite pegasus? You would soon rather die than live a life like that. And that may become a possibility in the future. You also had an unnatural fear of unicorns, but you presumed that was formed because of the unicorn who had cursed you with amnesia.
And now, Sigmund had told you to confront one of your fears. And in such an uncaring manner as well. When you refused to do so, he had yelled at you, something he had never done before. And it was something you never expected. It wasn't because you feared Sigmund, clearly not. He was at least three times your age, and would never resort to violence. He had always been so compassionate towards your case, and did hold some blame for your mental instability.
And there were the words that Sigmund had uttered the previous night.
"There may be hope for you after all."
His words echoed in your head. Had he begun to lose hope in your recovery? The pony who had helped you for years was finally becoming exhausted of attempting to cure you. His words had done a devastating blow to your (already) barely-present morale. You've been repeating the words over and over again ever since the previous night.
Despite the fatigue you had when you had arrived at the hospital, you knew you would be better off in the secluded town than in Manehattan. The bustling city with the more high class ignorant ponies just might prove to be more bothersome than the cyan pegasus. You knew the fly would take a few hours, especially now that you were flying at a slower pace and at a lower altitude. You didn't fly as high as you did when you were earlier because you had hoped that the cyan pegasus would have fallen asleep by now. Whether or not you were right, you weren't sure. As long as you didn't have to see her again, you couldn't care less.
When you had reached the town, your wings were about to give out. The night had been a particularly cloudy one, and since you didn't want to take any chances on the ground you landed on one of the many clouds. You had never known how soft the clouds were. Or maybe you did when you were younger. Regardless, the cloud was softer than any material you've ever laid your hooves on. It was infinitely softer than the ground, and much softer than any pillow or mattress. At least softer than the beds in the hospital. It didn't matter. You couldn't sleep. The fear of having to speak was too great to let you fall asleep.
As the hours passed, you kept imagining how a conversation would go between you and another pony. You went through every possible outcome.
"Hello."
"GET AWAY!"
That makes 77 possible responses.
By now, the sun was rising. You were a bit drowsy, but you were glad that you wouldn't have to have either of the two dreams. You didn't care how ecstatic Sigmund was for you to record your dreams or thoughts. The chance of having the nightmare of your parents overrode the joy of learning more about the new dream.
"Hello."
"I HOPE YOU DIE!"
78 possible responses. And the time was only decreasing before you would force yourself to speak with another pony. You felt the clouds drifting all night, but you didn't care at the time. But you did now, considering that the cloud had placed you directly over the small town. Luckily for you, the cloud had safely covered your entire body from the pony civilians. But the pegasi would be able to see you. Especially the cyan one, considering that she was searching for you. Whether or not she was still looking for you, you had no idea. And you didn't want to find out.
You stayed on the cloud, hoping not to be noticed. As you peeked over the edge of your makeshift bedding, you could see them: The pony civilians of the town. The ones Sigmund had demanded that you interact with. You pulled your head back out of view, and rested.
"Just a few more hours." you said out loud.
As you looked up, you saw more clouds drifting, at a faster rate than yours. There were many of them, all either surrounding or layered the one cloud you were staring at. But you noticed that some of the clouds began to dissipate. You focused your eyes on the center cloud, and noticed something that seemed out of place. A silhouette.
You tried to identify the shadow, praying that it wasn't a pegasus. As you squinted your eyes harder, the cloud started to dissipate. When the bits of water had disappeared, the cyan pegasus was on the other side.
This cannot be happening. What did I do to deserve this? you asked yourself as you lowered yourself into the cloud.
You couldn't hide yourself in the cloud this time, for it wasn't large enough. And it wouldn't matter anyway. She was destroying all the clouds in the sky. It was only a matter of time before she found you. You tried your best not to move at all, but your darkened coat didn't blend well with the white cloud. You locked your eyes onto her, analyzing her every move. She was kicking the clouds into oblivion, getting closer to yours with every second that passed. How she had not seen you yet was a blessing.
Your heart began to race. She was rather quick in ridding the sky of clouds, and she had just finished clearing clouds on the opposite side of the sky. She seemed to be basking in her accomplishment, as she didn't immediately start clearing the other side. You pressed yourself as hard as you possibly could into the cloud. You couldn't fly away, for she would easily notice you. Also, you were in no condition to out-fly her. She turned around, facing in your general direction, your eyes still locked onto her. You focused onto her eyes, hoping that they wouldn't connect with yours. As she started scanning the sky, you heard a bellowing voice.
"Hey! Dashie!"
It was coming from below you. You quickly looked over the edge of the cloud to attempt to find the origin of the voice.
Please. Please. Oh, Celestia, let her name be 'Dashie.' Please let that be the cyan pegasus' name. you prayed.
When you focused your eyes back onto the cyan pegasus, she had responded.
"Oh, not now Pinkie." she murmured to herself as she took off in the other direction.
"Wait! Dashie!"
When you had lost sight of her, every muscle in your body relaxed, letting yourself sink a bit into the could. Now was a time for you to contemplate.
Dashie. Is that really the cyan pegasus' name? Hmph. A much more fitting name would be 'pest.'
At least now you had a name to connect with the cyan pegasus, The one pegasus that was to be on your mind for who knows how long. Dashie. You had a feeling that knowing her name would only create a much stronger image of her. The look on her face when you had yelled at her was the only image you can clearly remember from her.
By now, the sun was directly overhead. The cyan pegasus had not returned yet, and your cloud had not moved at all. The only thing you've done for the past few hours was stare at all the pony civilians. You saw all types of ponies. Brown ponies. Purple ponies. Young ponies. Old ponies. Colts and fillies. You also saw a baby dragon, which was odd. You equally disliked all of them. You had made it a game to see how many you could remember.
"There goes the purple one again, along with a white one. The red one is back again. There's the brownish-orange one. She's alone now. The white and light-yellow ones aren't with her this time."
You found it strange how you could remember specific ponies by just identifying their color, even with your amnesia. Regardless, the fact that you'd have to fly down there (eventually) was still bothering you. You didn't even know how you would even get yourself onto the ground.
I'm not going to just fly down there. It would create too much attention. So, I'm going to have to fly near the outskirts yet again. Hopefully this time, I can actually land, instead of crash. And then, what? Walk into town and start talking? What am I going to to even talk about? My disturbing past, which I have barely the slightest grasp on? What did I let Sigmund talk me into doing? Damn him.
The sun was still directly overhead. It seemed that when you wished for the day to end, it never did. And when you had wanted the day to never end, it ends abruptly.
I have to do it. Communication may repress the memory of my parents. But what if my past is worse than the memory itself? Or what if it doesn't work at all and I make a complete fool of myself in front of everypony? Bah, why do I care what they think of me? They don't know, so why should I even give a damn about their opinions of me. But that night I had the different dream... I didn't wake up sweating or panting. Confused maybe, but there's always the possibility of the dream becoming clearer if I do go and talk to somepony.
You had done it. You'd convinced yourself to go to the small town and interact with the pony civilians. You slowly arose from the cloud, a few of your muscles still asleep. You extended your wings to allow the blood to circulate through them. They weren't as sore as they were before and you could easily maintain yourself up until the outskirts. Every time that you started to get ready to fly, your mind was screaming at you not to do this. But you had to. Once you felt that your wings were ready, you started to propel off the cloud near the outskirts. The same section of the outskirts, where the cyan pegasus, or "Dashie" had caused you to crash.
When you had landed, you could barely keep yourself up. Your legs were weak, and your heart started up again. You might just give yourself a heart attack if you continue to put yourself in situations like this. You could see the small patch of grass that you dented when you had fallen. And again, you had two options. To your left was the trail that eventually leads to Fluttershy's cottage. And to your right, was the small town. Last time, you had gone left, without the knowledge of Fluttershy's home being there.
I can't risk seeing Fluttershy again. By now, she probably fears me. And whatever 'Dashie' had told her about me couldn't have been good. I'm better off talking to somepony who's never seen me before. you thought to yourself.
You turned right this time. You weren't exactly eager to see anypony, so you walked at an incredibly slow pace. You played every possible response in your head again.
"Hello."
"Freak."
"Hello."
"What's wrong with you?"
And you kept trying to remind yourself how it could benefit your psyche if you did communicate. But you could only think of the negatives. With every second that passed, you were only getting closer to your demise. Nopony was directly in your sights. You were now at a slow-trotting pace, and still nopony was in your sights. How do you even start a conversation? Could you really just go up to anypony and say hello to them? Even for you, someone who's had little social interaction, knew that that would be a bit awkward.
You kept trotting, but you questioning yourself one thing: Why? Your goal was to communicate with the other ponies, but you kept attempting to avoid everpony. You looked around you in all directions, to make sure nopony sneaked up on you. You weren't sure why anypony would, but you did nevertheless. When you turned your head back forward, your heart skipped a beat. Heading directly towards you was a pink pony. Like you did to any pony you focused on, you followed her eye movements. But her eyes weren't moving. They were staring forward, directly at yours. She hadn't said anything yet, and you had stopped moving. She was slowly trotting to you.
You were attempting to prepare yourself to say something. At the very least a "hello." But you couldn't. You had no idea that speaking to another pony would be this hard. The only reason it was simple before was because you were dismissing them. But to start a conversation with another...
As you lost yourself in your thoughts, the pink pony had finally reached you. She was starting at you. Not menacingly, not worryingly, but blankly. She was waiting for you to speak. You forced your mouth to open. You silently took in a breath and started to form the word "Hello."
You couldn't even utter the word you were planning on saying because the pink pony had gasped incredibly loud, almost deafening. It had caused you to flinch but you quickly reconstructed your composure. The pink pony was gone. You turned around, looking everywhere for her. She was nowhere to be found. Two things had baffled you. One: she somehow managed to lose you, which only seemed to be possible by breaking the law's of physics. Two: she had performed on of your possible responses. She gasped at the sight of you.
You started pondering whether or not that would classify as communication.
There. I communicated with another pony. That's enough for today. I'm going to go back up to my cloud and fall asleep. If the dream doesn't become clearer, then I can tell Sigmund that his plan failed.
And what? Return to my sad life?
You extended your wings, ready to take off again back towards the cloud, still contemplating.
"Well howdy there, partner!"
Of course.