//------------------------------// // Issue 8: Tootsie vs. Peachy! // Story: Mission Control // by Samey90 //------------------------------// Tootsie sighed, staring at the dim park. “Why do I ‘ave to be ‘ere?” she asked. “Nuffin’s gonna ‘appen tonight.” She shuddered. “Damn outfit. Gonna need some socks wiff dat.” “Evil never sleeps,” Twist replied, checking something on the screen. “Also, it was you who told Tag to go fly a kite, so it’s your fault.” “It’s ‘er parents’ fault dat she’s an idiot,” Tootsie muttered, kicking a pebble which flew a few feet and hit the trunk of a nearby tree. “I didn’t mean dat literally.” Twist shook her head. “Listen, I thought we discussed that before: no complicated metaphors when Tag or the Potato Mare are around. Some ponies are just not meant for them.” “Yeah, right.” Tootsie groaned. “And I’m not meant for spellin’, but Miss Cheerilee keeps insisting–“ “Okay, I’ll keep it simple,” Twist said. “A pony can live through their life while taking metaphors literally. But not when they’re making eight errors in a word which has seven letters… and happens to be their own name.” “Ya’re never gonna forgive me, innit?” “No,” Twist replied, hopping into their new cart. “Also, you have an opportunity to have a ride and use this communicator.” She pointed at the watch-like device on Tootsie’s hoof. “It’s reinforced and idiot-proof, which should suit you. What can be funnier than that?” “Dunno, sleepin’?” Tootsie shrugged, taking her seat and poking one of the levers. “What’s dat?” “Don’t touch it!” Twist exclaimed. “It’s a catapult. If you pull it, your seat will land a hundred metres from the cart.” She started pedalling, steering the cart out of the park. “We didn’t test this feature yet.” “Awesome.” Tootsie muttered, rolling her eyes. “Where are we going now?” “To the centre,” Twist said. “You know, Button heard something about Snips and Snails trying to rob a shop. Also, we may find those skating two again.” “Dat’d be cool.” Tootsie raised her head. “I hate those two little sh–“ “Enough,” Twist said. “You’re a superhero, remember? No swearing, no beating ponies who didn’t deserve it…” “Dey did,” Tootsie muttered, clenching her hooves on the wrench. Twist sighed. “By the way, Nursery once saw two rollerskating fillies on her way to the hospital.” She showed Tootsie a photo on the monitor built into her armour. “Do they look similar to you?” “Not at all,” Tootsie replied. “Like, dey ain’t ‘ave no costumes…” Twist smacked her head against the steering wheel, almost causing them to swerve off the road. “Do you think those two look like our rollerskating friends without their costumes? I sometimes think you hang out with Dinky too much.” “You said dat we can’t use our names,” Tootsie said. “And, don’t ya fink dat’d be too easy? If I wanted to be like dat, I’d change da colour of me coat…” “You’re like that and yet you don’t,” Twist muttered. “All that you have is a mask and the costume. I’m still surprised that nopony figured out your identity after hearing how you speak. It’s not like many ponies here speak in rhyme slang.” “Said da pony who only takes off ‘er glasses and wears a silly armour,” Tootsie muttered. “While still remainin’ da same, lisp and all.” “What lisp?” Twist shrugged, turning into the main alley of Ponyville. “Speech therapy, my dear niece. It does wonders.” “Not to everypony,” Tootsie muttered, watching the dark windows of nearby houses. “But okay, let’s say no one notices the lisp. Still, you with glasses look similar to you without them. It’s like… Hmm, as if Silver Spoon took of her glasses and thought that nopony would recognise her as a superhero.” “You’re doing it again,” Twist said. “What?” “Your accent slipped,” Twist replied. “I’ve noticed at the party that you can pull off a pretty convincing fancy accent… Posh, as you call it.” “’ere we go…” Tootsie muttered under her breath. “In fact, Nursery and I had a talk about it,” Twist continued. “You were adopted when we all were six. Yet, after spending almost half of your life in Equestria, you should’ve caught a local accent. Nursery says that this is how brain’s speech-thingies work.” “Oh, bugger me.” Tootsie sighed. “Dat’s da way me parents talked. I ain’t wanna talk differently.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “In fact, I ‘ave to kinda fake it now… But if ya tell anypony, ya’ll ‘ave to hire Prancy Drew to find your hind legs.” “I’d never tell anypony that you’re, in fact, a posh kid,” Twist muttered. Their cart drove next to some drunk, who looked at it in awe before shrugging and taking a sip from the bottle. “What’ll be next? Elocution lessons?” “I may be, but ya know what’s worse?” Tootsie asked. “Da rest of da guys. Like, Nursery creeps me out.” “Hey, she’s my sister!” Twist exclaimed, turning her head to look at Tootsie. “And your aunt. Also, it’s not like everypony in the family has a lab in their basement!” “Yeah, I know,” Tootsie muttered. “Dere wasn’t enough place, so ya ‘ave one in da attic.” She adjusted her mask. “What d’ya say about Tag? It ain’t natural. Sumfin’ must be bloody wrong wiff dat kid if dey ain’t want ‘er in Tartarus.” “There are things in heaven and earth–“ “Yeah and all dat horseapples. Da problem is dat–“ Tootsie looked at the nearby sports store. It occurred to her that stores shouldn’t be open at night. As such, they shouldn’t have the light on. In this case, it was somewhat justified, since the window was smashed. “Dat looks like a job for us!” Tootsie got out of the cart and rushed towards the store. Twist parked the cart by the kerb and set her weapon to stun, waiting for the criminals to run away. “Stop right ‘ere, criminal scum!” Tootsie shouted, levitating the lead pipe and looking around. The shop looked empty – the only sight of activity was a bunch of balls, croquet mallets and cricket bats lying on the floor. “Hmm…” Tootsie scratched her mane. “Backdoor? Ya fink it’s very clever, huh?” She trotted towards the back of the shop. “Show up and fight like a real motherfu–“ She paused at the sight of two very familiar-looking fillies who just busted the door open and rode inside. “From the land of speed and… Aaargh!” Sunny screamed when Tootsie threw a basketball in her face. “What?” Tootsie asked, seeing the look Peachy was giving her. “Ya really thought I’ll wait till ya end dat routine? I’ve ‘eard it once and dat’s enough.” “So we’re fighting dirty, right?” Peachy asked. She was slowly approaching Tootsie, who noticed that Sunny quickly recovered from getting a ball to her face. Sunny was now trying to outflank Tootsie, hiding behind the pile of sports equipment. Tootsie smirked and kicked the pile, causing a few balls and pool sticks to fall on Sunny. She noticed that Peachy winced when seeing this, the rhythm of her moves disrupted for a split second. Tootsie wasn’t the pony who’d waste gifts given to her by fate, so she pushed Peachy at the shelf full of weights and bowling balls. “First rule of fighting dirty,” Tootsie muttered, watching the shelf collapse. “Never talk while fighting.” She looked at the scattered contents of the shelf and nodded. “It may be too late for da lesson for ya, I’m afraid…” “You’d be surprised,” Peachy muttered, getting up from the pile of bowling balls. “What da…” Tootsie’s jaw dropped. “Are ya Tagalong, or what?” “No, I just dodged,” Peachy replied. “Unlike you.” A pool cue hit Tootsie in the back of the head. She staggered and collapsed, revealing Sunny standing behind her and smiling in the same way as her partner. “Nice,” Peachy said. “But what took you so long?” “Dodging stuff,” Sunny replied. “And then helping you dodge stuff.” “Yeah, thanks for that.” Peachy looked at the bowling balls. “It’s always better to have an additional perspective.” She clicked her tongue. “Now, where are those two we were chasing?” Snips rushed through the empty street, hiding in the nook. After a while, Snails joined him, carefully checking if nopony was following them before lighting his horn. “Who was that?” Snips asked, looking at the shop. “And why did they stop chasing us?” “It seems to me that they were again surprised by one of those other superheroes,” Snails replied, shrugging. “You know, that violent one in a peculiar outfit.” “Hmm, if they are all good, does it mean that no matter who wins, good guys will lose?” Snips asked. “Also, we should totally tell them that the owner of this shop paid us to break in there so he’d get insurance money.” “Better not.” Snails shuddered. “Those brutes wouldn’t listen. They have a primitive mindset basis of which is a statement ‘I have a cricket bat and you don’t’.” “Yeah, and they’re making more damage than we could do,” Snips said. “Like, they’ll do the whole job and we’ll get paid anyway! Double profit!” “Exactly, my little friend.” Snails nodded. “You know what? I think that this salad bar near the schoolhouse is still open. Let’s grab something to eat.” “Meh. Only stoners and hippies go there,” Snips muttered. However, he took a few steps towards the schoolhouse. Snails smirked. “Exactly, my friend, exactly…” Twist looked at the shop unsurely. It was a few minutes after Tootsie entered it and there was still no sign from her. Twist of course heard her tripping over something, but she knew well that her niece wasn’t exactly graceful, especially in dark, crowded rooms. Besides, she heard Tootsie’s angry voice, which meant that she just encountered something problematic, like a big pile of toys on the floor. However, something was off. Twist knew that Tootsie liked to ramble, but even she couldn’t ramble in three voices at the same time. Especially since all of those voices sounded familiar. Cursing under her breath, Twist got out of the cart. “Captain?” She entered the shop with the launcher in her hoof. “Horseapples!” she shouted when Sunny and Peachy turned to her. Twist’s reaction was fast. She pulled the trigger of her launcher, causing a blue ray of the stunning spell to fly towards Peachy. Peachy, however, was faster. She ducked and rushed towards Twist, wheels of her rollerskates leaving rubber marks on the floor. Twist quickly switched her launcher to levitation and jumped, firing at the floor. While nearly brushing ceiling with her mane, she looked down and saw that Peachy stopped, making a quick piruet. Sunny was standing on the counter, watching Twist and trying to assess where she’d land. “No way,” Twist muttered, firing the levitation spell at the wall. It pushed her backwards, causing her to ram into Peachy who groaned and lost balance for a moment – the combined energy of the spell and weight of Twist and her armour delivered quite a solid blow. Twist made a somersault and landed on all four, only to feel Peachy’s hind legs kicking her in the chest. Sunny rushed towards them, her eyes fixated on Peachy who seemed to be not exactly conscious. “Controlling her body too?” Twist asked, her eyes widening. “What the–” Before she could finish, she had to dodge Sunny’s punch. Automatically, she pulled the trigger. The launcher was still set on levitation spell – it threw Sunny slightly backwards, but at the same time Peachy regained control over her body and tried to hit Twist while circling around her. Sunny looked at the whole situation and smirked. She pushed herself forward, gaining speed and synchronising the rhythm of her moves with Peachy. She was about to jump and kick Twist, ending the fight, when somepony caught her leg. She staggered and fell face-first on the floor. “Pool cue?” Tootsie yelled, standing up and levitating a cricket bat. “Pool cue, ya little–” The rest drowned in the sound of a cricket bat coming into a close contact with a pony’s head. Twist noticed that Peachy winced visibly when her partner got hit. She stopped now and rushed towards Tootsie, who raised the bat and yelled something. Twist couldn’t exactly say what words those were and in what language they were spoken. However, when she later recalled the events of that night, she thought that Tootsie’s accent probably reached its logical conclusion – she got so angry that it now consisted solely of apostrophes. Peachy slowed down, apparently trying to decipher the scream. It was enough for Tootsie. She raised the cricket bat and hit Sunny’s leg. Peachy hissed, grabbing her own leg and tripping over a hoofball. She rolled on her back, losing one of the rollerskates. “I’m startin’ to like it,” Tootsie muttered. “Ya can beat ‘em both at once.” She poked Sunny with her hoof. “That’s not fair,” Twist said, walking to Tootsie and grabbing her cricket bat. “We’re supposed to be the good guys.” She pointed at unconscious Sunny. “Doesn’t look like that to me...” “Oh come on!” Tootsie rolled her eyes. “Dat struggle hit me wiff a pool cue– Aargh!” Tootsie screamed and staggered when Sunny straightened her hooves, delivering a kick to her stomach. She rested herself against Twist. Peachy stood up and smirked. “We feel each other’s pain, but as long as one of us is conscious, the other also is.” She stretched her forelegs. “But still, you beat my sister. Better run.” Twist furrowed her eyebrows. On one hoof, Tootsie would probably never agree to run away. On the other, Tootsie was now coughing, trying to catch a breath. Twist aimed the launcher at her and levitated her, running out of the shop. They bounced off the police pony on their way, and ran to the cart. Sunny and Peachy chased them, jumping over the pony. “What da...” Tootsie muttered when she regained her ability to speak. Twist was already pedalling quickly, to get as far from the shop as possible. “Why are we runnin’ away?” “Because you’d end in the hospital and I’d be arrested,” Twist replied. “Are they still there?” “Eeyup,” Tootsie replied, grabbing a wrench from under her seat. “Dey’re getting closer.” “Hmm... Time for a distraction...” Twist muttered, pulling the brake. Tootsie almost fell out of the vehicle when it skid to a halt. She turned back just when Peachy jumped inside, and whacked her with a wrench. Or rather tried to, since Peachy dodged, ramming into her. Sunny didn’t have such luck; Twist was more heavily armoured and Sunny bounced off of her, landing on the backseat. Twist grabbed the launcher and switched it to stun, but then somepony kicked it out of her hoof. She looked to her left and saw Tootsie and Peachy piling on one another, apparently trying to bite each other’s ears off. Twist saw, as if in slow motion, as Tootsie’s hoof missed Peachy and hit the red button next to the steering wheel. For a moment nothing happened; but then, Twist heard the sound of both fluids mixing, forming the rocket fuel. Flames shot from the back of the cart as it darted forward, leaving tyre marks on the street. Twist grabbed the steering wheel and barely avoided hitting some granny who had apparently decided to go for a walk at 2 AM. The granny didn’t notice anything since she was blind and deaf. “We’re gonna die!” Sunny screamed, holding on to the backseat. Peachy groaned and wanted to tell her something about showing one’s weaknesses, but couldn’t; Tootsie just managed to hit her liver, knocking the wind out of her. “Watch out for the levers!” Twist yelled, clenching her hooves on the steering wheel. Making the cart stay on the road was difficult enough without two fillies fighting next to her. At least Sunny didn’t pose a threat anymore. Tootsie grabbed Peachy’s neck and punched her, pushing her on the dashboard. “I’m gonna wreck ya!” she yelled. “I suck at spellin’, but I can spell ‘pain’! P! A! Y! N! E!” She tried to punch Peachy again but Peachy tilted her head, causing Tootsie to push one of the buttons on the dashboard. Before Tootsie could remember what was that button doing, she heard a quiet hiss of the ejection seat. “Oh sh–” she muttered before she and Peachy were thrown out of the vehicle, several metres into the air. Twist looked to her right, only to find out that the seat was missing. She sighed with relief – at least two fighting fillies wouldn’t disturb her anymore. She looked back on the road and saw a sharp turn in front of her – she remembered that during the Summer Harvest Parade one of the floats overshot it and fell into the muddy water below. Then she remembered that the rocket engine was still on and the back of the cart started to catch fire. With a terrible snap the cart hit the stone and took off into the air. Twist ducked under the steering wheel and saw that Sunny was already there, holding her tightly. They somersaulted, falling down the cliff. The splash deafened them and when they opened their eyes, they saw that half of the cart was filled with water. There were even some nenuphars and a frog in it. “We’re gonna sink!” Sunny exclaimed. “Chill out and help me get rid of that water,” Twist muttered, blinking – she realised that she’d lost her contacts. “This cart is amphibious.” Sunny took off one of her rollerskates and used it to pour water out of the vehicle. Twist pushed a blue button on the dashboard and started pedalling – the chain was now powering a small propeller in the back. She pushed a switch on her armour and took her glasses from a small compartment in it. “Hey, now I recognise you,” Sunny said. “You’re Twist, right?” She took off her goggles. “Sunny Daze.” “I knew it,” Twist muttered. “And Tootsie thought it was impossible...” Sunny nodded. “So that psycho was Tootsie Flute? I knew this accent was familiar. Hey, we were growing flowers as a school project together once.” They reached the shore and drove on it. Twist got out of the cart and sat next to it, resting her back against its side. Sunny sat next to her. “I wonder what happened to them,” Twist said. “Well, the ejection seat should be safe, but I didn’t test it.” “I’d feel something,” Sunny replied, producing a small bottle from her costume. She gave it to Twist, who opened it, took a sip and winced. “Eww, grape juice,” Twist muttered. She pushed another button on her armour, opening a compartment with a box of peppermint sticks. “Want one?” “Sure,” Sunny replied, putting a peppermint stick in her mouth. “You’d better take that thing off before it rusts.” She looked at the wheels of her rollerskates. “Drying them will take a while...” “We screwed up, didn’t we?” Twist sighed. “You should join our team. And stop breaking windows in shops.” “That just happens.” Sunny shrugged. “Besides, how else can we get inside?” “Like, use the door?” Twist noticed Sunny’s black eye. “I have a healing spell in my launcher. It works perfectly, I’m sure of that.” “No, thanks,” Sunny replied. “It’ll disappear in an hour.” “An hour?” Twist’s eyes widened. “How can a bruise disappear in an hour?” “I eat lots of carrots,” Sunny replied. “Mom says that it’s healthy.” “Nevermind.” Twist sighed. Suddenly, Sunny hissed and grabbed her face. She bit on a peppermint stick, crushing it. “What’s wrong?” Twist asked. “Maybe I should try to heal you anyway?” “No,” Sunny replied. “It’s Peachy...” “–it!” Tootsie yelled, falling into tall grass on the side of the road. The seat landed next to her, making a hole in the ground. Tootsie looked at it and stood up, groaning and rubbing her temples. She spat some dirt that got in her mouth and looked around. “Okay,” she muttered to herself. “Now, where’s dat bloody bugger? She surely ain’t sprout wing from ‘er arse...” Suddenly, Peachy Pie landed in front of her. She stood on slightly bent legs, like a cat, staring into Tootsie’s eyes. “Hello, chav,” she muttered. “Get ready to die!” She darted forward, only to find out that the wheels of her rollerskates got buried in mud. She tripped, landing face-first in front of Tootsie, who didn’t waste time to kick her. “Goodnight, ye walloper,” Tootsie muttered, watching Peachy hitting the ground after flying a few metres in the air. “Now, I will kick da crap outta yer sister and I can go back ‘ome.” She turned back and walked away. Suddenly, a rollerskate flew inches from her. Tootsie turned back, only to get hit in the face with another rollerskate. She screamed, sitting on the ground. Peachy stood up and slowly walked to her. One of the lenses of her goggles was shattered; pieces of glass left a lot of small wounds around her eye. “You really thought this would stop me, didn’t you, Cockneigh girl?” Peachy chuckled. “You amuse me. You bloody amuse me.” “Shut yer gob, tosser.” Tootsie stood in front of Peachy and dug in the ground with her hoof. “Why can’t ya jus’ bloody pass out?” “It’s not as easy.” Peachy smiled, showing that shards of broken teeth were already growing back. “The two of us had always been close... So close that it’s always like you were fighting two ponies at once.” Tootsie exhaled loudly through her nose. “Well, d’n I’m gonna s’nd two ‘f ya t’ ‘ell!” she exclaimed charging at her opponent. Peachy raised her eyebrows at such a mistreating of phonetics. Seeing that Tootsie was getting closer, she dodged to the side and rolled on the grass. A second later, she heard a loud thud and turned back to see that Tootsie ran into a nearby tree. She didn’t get her horn stuck in it, but still the impact made Peachy cringe. “Jus’ gimme a minute...” Tootsie muttered, raising her hoof. “I ain’t done wiff ya...” “I see,” Peachy muttered. “You’re, like, wiser than before, after making contact with that tree.” “Oh, go–” Tootsie’s voice drowned in rustle of the leaves, followed by a thud. “–yourself.” Tootsie looked around. “What was that?” “A filly scout fell from the tree,” Peachy replied. Tootsie stood up. “Tag? Is dat you? Damn, she’s dead again...” “She doesn’t look like her,” Peachy said, walking to the filly scout and poking her with her hoof. “But she does look pretty dead to me.” She looked at the body closer – it was a small, dark orange unicorn with black mane. “Why did she fall from the tree?” “Gravity and stuff.” Tootsie shrugged. “Miss Cheerilee told us...” She looked at Peachy and paused. “Okay, maybe she was just ripe. Soon she’ll explode in seeds and new filly scouts will grow from dem.” “You hit yourself harder than I thought,” Peachy muttered, poking the filly scout again. “What are we going to do with her?” “Stop pokin’ ‘er,” Tootsie muttered. “Ya’re leavin’ da hoofprints. Me dad was always sayin’ ya need a barrel and a few big rocks... Stop pokin’ ‘er, dumb twat!” “Why?” Peachy asked. “It’s not like she’s gonna–” “Aaargh!” the filly scout yelled, opening her eyes. “W– wh–” “What?” Tootsie asked. “Wh– what ha– ha–” “Happened?” Peachy prompted. “You fell down the tree you were sitting on in the middle of the night for some reason.” “Yeah.” Tootsie nodded. “Like, were ya tryin’ to get some badge?” “I– I–” The filly swallowed. “Caramel deLite!” The heard a gunshot in the distance, followed by a bullet smashing into the tree and coming out on the other side, along with bark and some wood. “What was that?” Peachy asked, watching the hole in the tree. “Dunno, but dat’s some really fu–” Another gunshot barely missed Tootsie’s head, causing her to cower. “–ed up badge dey’re gettin’.” “Connard!” somepony yelled in the distance. “Je vais te tuer!” “Who’s dat?” “I’d rather not ask,” Peachy replied, when the third bullet went wide. In the distance, they saw a small silhouette getting off the ground, apparently after being knocked down by recoil. The while filly scout cleared her throat. “M–may I g– g–” “No, ya can’t,” Tootsie replied, grabbing the filly’s scarf and pulling her towards herself. “Ya’re goin’ wiff us.” “Come on!” Peachy exclaimed. “She has, like, two bullets left and with her aim, she may accidentally hit something.” They ran. Or rather, Peachy and Tootsie ran. The filly scout had no other option but to follow them. “Is she still chasing us?” Peachy asked. She was slightly ahead, especially after they got to the road, where she was able to put on her rollerskates. “‘ardly,” Tootsie replied, yanking the filly scout’s scarf. “Da recoil kicks ‘er backwards...” “So, we have a bit of time,” Peachy muttered, making a graceful pirouette and stopping in front of Tootsie. “Where do we take her?” “I discovered a cool place in da cemetery, when we were hidin’ dere recently,” Tootsie replied. “Nice for talkin’ and stuff.” “Well, I occurs to me that we have different definition of ‘nice’,” Peachy muttered. “Sod off. We wanna learn why dat tit wanted to shoot us, innit?” “Innit.” Peachy shrugged, rolling her eyes. “Lead us to the cemetery, my uncivilised little friend.” The trip wasn’t long, especially since they still could hear muffled shouts in Prench from time to time. Tootsie trotted through the alleys and between the tombstones, till they reached the oldest part of the cemetery. The filly scout shuddered, watching an old mausoleum made of weathered granite. The door was slightly ajar; Tootsie walked to it and opened it. “It’s ‘ere,” she said. “Some bloke once kicked da door open and everypony can get inside.” “Doesn’t it bother you that somepony apparently kicked the door from the inside?” “Dat’d explain why dis old fart who was buried ‘ere is no longer in da coffin.” Tootsie shrugged and pulled the filly scout with her. Peachy facehoofed – a difficult feat, considering the fact that she had her rollerskates on – and followed Tootsie inside. The inside of the grave smelled of mould and rubbish left there by various ponies visiting the place. Tootsie let go off the filly scout’s scarf and pushed her towards the coffin. “Okay,” she whispered through gritted teeth. “What’s yer name and why yer friend tried to kill us?” “M-my n-name i-is Rah Rah Raisin,” the filly replied, throwing nervous glances around. “Raisin?” Tootsie asked, raising her eyebrows. “N-no. Rah Rah Raisin.” “Dat’s what I’m sayin’.” Tootsie sighed. “Okay, Raisin, now ya’ll tell us what ya were doin’ on dat tree and why dis insane cheese-eatin’ surrender twat was tryin’ to kill us.” “W– we...” Rah Rah Raisin looked into Tootsie’s eyes and shuddered. No other word managed to find its way out of her lips, apart of “we”, repeated several times, before she groaned in frustration and closed her eyes, shivering. “Should I put ya in dat coffin?” Tootsie groaned. “C’mon...” Peachy trotted to Tootsie and pushed her aside. “Listen, you savage brute, if you keep threatening her, she won’t give us anything, except maybe her manure,” she said. “She won’t talk if you keep talking to her like that.” “I know,” Tootsie muttered. “It’s like, ‘ow my aunt’s lisp gets worse when she’s stressed? She goes to the speech therapist.” Rah Rah Raisin opened her eyes. She looked at Tootsie and nodded. “I’m pretty sure she goes to the speech therapist with your aunt and now knows who you are,” Peachy muttered. “Great job, good guy.” “Oh, c’mon.” Tootsie waved her hoof. “Let’s see how ya will talk wiff ‘er.” Peachy turned to Rah Rah Raisin. “Okay, Raisin. You want to get out of here and we don’t want to keep you here, okay?” She smiled, which wasn’t the best idea – her teeth still hadn’t healed properly. “Why don’t you tell us what’s going on with armed filly scouts here?” Rah Rah Raisin gulped. “G-go f-fu–” “Oh, I can see where dis is goin’,” Tootsie muttered. “Listen, Raisin, isn’t it true that filly scouts shouldn’t lie?” Peachy rolled her eyes. “You won’t get any badges for lying, you know.” “But she can get a badge for not sayin’ anyffin’,” Tootsie said. “Right, Raisin?” “Now you gave her that idea.” Peachy sat on the ground and sighed. “I wish there was a filly scout who’d explain us what’s going on...” “Well, dere’s Tag,” Tootsie muttered. “But hell knows where she lives.” Suddenly, she looked at the communicator on her foreleg. “I ‘ave an idea...” Twist examined the vehicle. It was slightly burned and mostly wet, but after removing all the frogs from the interior, it was ready to go. Sunny was prancing nervously around her. From time to time she was flinching, as if someone invisible hit her, but when Twist asked her what was going on, she only smiled. “She’s fighting back,” Sunny said. “She’ll be alright.” “Well, I hope Tootsie will be alright too,” Twist muttered. “On her seventh birthday–” “Wait...” Sunny froze. “Something’s weird. They stopped fighting and now I can feel something different...” “What exactly?” Twist asked, pushing some button on her armour. A pocket opened in it, revealing a notebook and a pen. “Like, I feel disgusted and fascinated,” Sunny replied. “And a bit scared.” She sat on the ground, rubbing her temples. “I don’t feel well...” “What’s going on?” Twist was taking notes quickly, staring at Sunny. “She heals.” Sunny hissed. “She has to heal and run at the same time, so it takes a lot of energy from her and from me.” Twist produced another peppermint stick from her armour and gave it to Sunny. “Sit in the cart,” she said. “We’re gonna go back to Ponyville and look for them.” “What if they stopped fighting because your friend got killed?” Sunny shuddered. “I wouldn’t believe in such luck,” Twist muttered, untangling some seaweed from the chain of her cart. “If Tootsie went to Tartarus, she’d kick the first demon on her way in the testicles and get back here.” The screen on Twist’s foreleg beeped and flickered. Twist looked at it and gasped. “Good news,” she muttered. “Tootsie’s alive. Also, I need to tell Bon Bon that she’s been skipping her additional classes for dyslectic foals.” “What?” Sunny raised her eyebrows. “Look for yourself.” Twist showed Sunny the screen. The message was short, but interpreting it took Sunny a while. hwdoyudospeisyzindat OK, so I faugt Peechy end I heet te trea wit me hed and a fillee scaut fel from it and her frend ws schotink at us and we ranaway an tired too tok but she starms and is like rtrdd and we donno wot two doo where tag livz we ned her end wer een dem camenticary and schii aint no wanna not tell us tnotink “So...” Sunny tilted her head, as if she wanted to check if the message would be more understandable upside-down. “Was a filly scout shooting or shouting at them? And did she eventually tell them something or not?” “As far as I know, she could be scouting,” Twist muttered. “Though it’s still weird, even for Tootsie.” “Maybe we’ll ask that sad filly scout who is sitting by that tree?” Sunny asked, pointing into the darkness outside the cart. “Maybe she ran out of cookies?” Twist pushed the brakes of her cart. “It’s the middle of the night. Was she selling cookies for that long?” “Let’s see.” Sunny got out of the vehicle and walked to the filly scout – a thin white unicorn without a hat and with slightly crooked sash. Her mane was of darker shade of red than Twist’s, bringing associations with dried blood. It was styled in a rather peculiar style which was either a deed of many hours of experienced hairstylist’s work or just the way her mane looked after getting out of bed. She was carrying a cello case with her. “Hello,” Twist said, walking behind Sunny. “Are you okay?” “Bonsoir,” the filly scout replied. “Who are you?” “We were just passing by,” Twist replied. “I’m The T, and this is–” She looked at Sunny unsurely. “I never know which one is which one...” “That doesn’t matter,” Sunny replied. “Who are you?” “Mon nom est Caramel deLite,” the filly said. “Could you drive me to mon base, no?” “Base?” Twist asked. “You mean, house?” “Non,” Caramel deLite replied. “I must get back to zee base.” “Now?” Sunny asked, eyeing Caramel’s cello case. “It’s some challenge, right?” “Oui, zat’s right, no. I was getting a badge for playing violoncelle in zee middle of zee night.” Caramel deLite chuckled. “But now I need to get it, no?” “I guess.” Twist shrugged. “Get into the cart. It’s on our way anyway.” Caramel deLite trotted with them to the cart and threw her cello case at the backseat. She then sat next to it and yawned, eyeing the levers and devices curiously. “I suck at music,” Sunny whispered to Twist, “but should cellos make such a sound when dropped?” “Nope,” Twist replied. “Unless this cello is made of metal.” “Curious.” Sunny sat in the cart next to Twist and turned to Caramel deLite. “Must be pretty busy, huh? Filly scouts, cello...” “It’s easy, no.” Caramel deLite shrugged. “Le badge in building IEDs was worse...” “Do we want to know?” Sunny whispered to Twist. “We want to investigate... from a safe distance,” Twist replied, pedalling faster. She sighed with relief, seeing the filly scout’s base at the end of the street. She noticed that the building changed slightly over the course of the last few weeks and made a mental note to ask Tagalong if every such a place had a minigun on the roof. “Just drop me zere,” Caramel deLite muttered. “Or maybe you will come wis me?” “No, thanks,” Twist replied. “Too close to the Everfree and we have something else to do.” Caramel deLite chuckled. “Don’t worry about zee Everfree. We’re protecting it. Par exemple, we’re looking for zee connards who attacked zee timberwolves.” Twist gulped. “And what will you do when you catch them?” “La décapitation par la guillotine...” Caramel deLite laughed. “Anyway you’ll be always welcome here. Merci beaucoup.” “A peculiar individual,” Sunny muttered, watching Caramel deLite walking to the wooden house. “Do you think we should do something about that?” “Definitely,” Twist replied. “I have a feeling that we’ll get back to this place soon. But now, let’s get to the cemetery before Tootsie and your sister do something to that poor filly scout they apparently caught.” The ride to the cemetery was even faster than before. Twist was pushing the pedals hard, causing the chain to screech and make other noises suggesting that it may rust. “‘ere ya are,” Tootsie muttered, seeing them. She was resting against the gate of the graveyard, her eyes half-closed. “We were gettin’ bored.” “On our way here, we saw a weird filly scout,” Twist said. “White redhead, spoke with Prench accent.” “Sounds like dat berk who wanted to shoot us,” Tootsie muttered. “A propos: Peachy, get dat kid ‘ere.” Peachy walked from behind the gate, dragging the filly scout behind her. Rah Rah Raisin was tied and gagged with her own scarf. She was moving her eyes from one filly to another, shuddering. “What did you do to her, idiots?” Twist asked. “She offended my mother,” Peachy muttered. “This is not something we take lightly.” “This is not something you take lightly,” Sunny said. “I know when to stop being a brute.” “Don’t look at me.” Tootsie sighed. “It took her ten minutes to pronounce dat word. We got kinda tired of waitin’, so we gagged ‘er.” Twist rolled her eyes, walked to Rah Rah Raisin and removed the scarf from her mouth. “You okay?” she asked. “N-no.” “We’ll go to your friend.” Twist helped the filly take a place in the cart. “A propos, Tootsie: they know about the timberwolves. The filly scout we met mentioned beheading.” “Y-you’ve m-met Ca-caramel deLite?” Rah Rah Raisin asked. “Briefly.” Twist sighed. “Does she often play cello in the middle of the night?” “Her ‘cello’ managed to pierce the tree,” Peachy said. “And she clearly wanted to blow our brains out.” “We’ve heard you know someone who can explain us what’s going on,” Sunny added. “Let’s go to her.” “We?” Tootsie asked. “Did ya, like, exchange da messages telepatrically?” “Telepathically,” Twist muttered, resting her forehead on her hoof. “I’m pretty sure that’s what they did.” “So, if I smack ya...” Tootsie hit Sunny in the back of the head. “Hey, it works!” she exclaimed, seeing Peachy wince. “One day, I’ll murder you and no court will convict me...” Peachy muttered through gritted teeth. “Let’s go to your friend before it ends in bloodshed.” The trip to Tagalong’s house wasn’t long. She lived quite close to the cemetery and even though they had to travel with a tied filly scout in the backseat, Sunny and Peachy had no trouble with keeping up with Twist’s pace on their rollerskates. “So, dis is where Tag lives, huh?” Tootsie raised her eyebrows. The house was quite similar to the filly scouts’ headquarters. It was a large wooden hut, encircled by something that looked more like a palisade rather than a fence. Next to the house there was a mast with Equestrian flag hanging from it. “Okay...” Twist muttered. “So... Do we knock, or what?” “I can climb on it,” Sunny said. “But I don’t like trespassing.” “Yeah, right.” Tootsie rolled her eyes. “Remember HayDonald’s?” “You were there first,” Peachy muttered. “But we left the door open and you busted through the window,” Twist said. “You can go there, as long as you don’t break anything.” “Okay.” Peachy backpedalled, her eyes focused on the palisade. “Look at this, because it’s gonna be awesome...” She rode forward, the wheels of her rollerskates sparking as she gained speed. “She’s gonna twat into da wall,” Tootsie muttered, just before Sunny jumped. It was a truly majestic jump. The filly somersaulted in the air, touched the tip of one of the planks with a rollerskate, gaining more height. She made another somersault and gently disappeared behind the palisade. Or rather, it would be gentle, if not the sounds they heard next. “Oh, motherfu–” Sunny’s voice ended in a shriek, mixed with some metallic sound. At the same time, Peachy groaned, rubbing her leg. “You okay there?” Twist asked, trying to look between the stakes. “A bear trap!” Sunny exclaimed. “Who puts a bear trap in their garden?” “Can you regenerate?” Peachy asked. “It hurts.” “I have a bear trap on my hoof. Try to guess.” “Couldn’t ya just dodge it?” Tootsie asked, chuckling. “It’s hard to dodge when you notice it only after landing in it...” Sunny’s voice faltered. “What are you doing here?” somepony asked in a high-pitched voice. “There goes my bear caretaker badge...” “Tag!” Twist exclaimed. “We need you!” “Does it have something to do with a filly in my bear trap?” They heard Tagalong trotting to Sunny. “Oh my... Does it hurt?” “No!” Sunny shouted. “I just love being trapped like that!” “Oh. Good.” Tagalong climbed on the palisade. They saw that she was wearing woodland camo pajamas, and carrying a plush Royal Guard in her hoof. “So, what did you want, Twist?” She looked at the group in front of her and her eyes focused on the tied filly scout. “Rah Rah Raisin? What are you doing here?” “Wait...” Tootsie looked at Tagalong unsurely. “Her name ain’t just Raisin?” “Took us a year to figure that out, but she signed her ID like that.” Tagalong shrugged. “What did you do to her?” Rah Rah Raisin shuddered. “W-we h-had a little m-mis-misunderstanding... G-Ginger Snap... Y-you are w-with them?” Tagalong slapped her forehead, falling from the palisade and, judging by a scream, landing on Sunny. She emerged a moment later and scratched her mane. “Now I remember what I wanted to tell you,” she said. “Our scoutmaster, Cranberry Crisp, went insane. She wants to shoot everyone who disturbs the timberwolves.” “So, we’re safe,” Tootsie muttered. “As long as no one disturbs the timberwolves.” “Well, that was a few days ago,” Tagalong said. “Recently, she wanted to kill everyone going to the Everfree. Tomorrow, she may want to kill everyone who has ‘t’ in their name.” “I can’t see a problem,” Peachy muttered. “I do.” Twist frowned. “I’m pretty sure Tootsie sees it too.” Peachy turned to Tagalong. “Okay then. But what filly scouts falling off the trees have to do with that?” Tagalong looked at Rah Rah Raisin. “She can somehow control their minds. She tried that on me, but it disappeared when I got hit by a train on my way home and she haven’t noticed.” Twist leaned to Rah Rah Raisin, produced a magnifying glass from her armour and looked into the filly scout’s eyes. “So, she’s hypnotised, huh? What can we do to snap her out of it?” “The train worked,” Tagalong said. “But there are none at this hour.” “You should join us,” Peachy said to Twist, looking at her hoof unsurely. “You’re wasting your time with those idiots.” Tootsie produced a crowbar from the cart. “I can whack ‘er and see what ‘appens.” “I can whack you, but it’ll only make a loud echo in your head,” Peachy muttered. “Why does my other hoof hurt?” “I’m biting it to stop myself from screaming in pain.” Sunny’s voice came from behind the wall. “Oh bother...” Tagalong jumped off the palisade. “Here, I’ll set you free.” “Thank yo– Aargh! It’s even worse after you opened it!” Sunny screamed. “Do you want me to put it back?” Instead of a reply, they heard a bang when Sunny kicked one of the stakes in the barricade, smashing it in two. She then walked through the hole on three hooves. The fourth, which she held in the air, had a row of slowly disappearing wounds. “Okay,” Sunny said. “Now, we’d better talk with that filly scout before she–” Suddenly, Rah Rah Raisin’s horn started to glow. Everypony cowered, ready to dodge. The filly disappeared in a flash, leaving the ropes behind. “Oh. I forgot to tell you that she can teleport,” Tagalong muttered. “She’s a natural...” “What?” Tootsie exclaimed. “How come dat kid can teleport while I can’t teleport me own crap!” An uncomfortable question hanged in the air. Luckily, nopony dared to ask it. “The problem is, where she teleported...” Twist muttered. “And who’ll learn our names...” “You missed?” Cranberry Crisp yelled, kicking the table. She trotted to Caramel de Lite who was sobbing in the corner of the room and raised her hoof. “How could you miss them?!” “Le recul...” Caramel deLite whispered, shielding her head with her hooves. “I fell...” “You fell and now your friend is in enemy’s hooves!” Cranberry Crisp yelled, walking to the middle of the room, grabbing a chair, and throwing it at the wall. One of the pieces hit Caramel deLite in the back of the head, making her squeal. Cranberry Crisp groaned and ran back to the filly scout. She grabbed and lifted her, pushing her against the wall. “I trusted you... You were obeying my orders even without the mind control... But now you failed me. There can be only one punishment...” She looked into Caramel deLite’s eyes. “I’m gonna sell you to the wea–” A flash of bright light interrupted the scoutmaster. She released Caramel deLite who fell to the floor unceremoniously. Cranberry Crisp turned to see Rah Rah Raisin trying to get her bearings after a long-distance teleportation. “Rah Rah Raisin!” Caramel deLite exclaimed, wiping her nose. She ran to her friend and hugged her. “Are you okay?” “That’s the least of your concerns,” Cranberry Crisp pushed Caramel deLite aside and lit her horn, aiming it at Rah Rah Raisin. “You, tell me what happened. And don’t stammer.” Twist sighed. “So, we can safely assume that they know about us.” She turned to Peachy. “In that situation, I think you should go with us to our base. We have more technical support, you know.” “Well, it’s the only thing you have,” Peachy muttered, staring at Tootsie. “Bugger off.” Tootsie rolled her eyes. “I can kick yer arse anytime.” “One day we’ll see...” Sunny muttered, appearing right behind Tootsie’s back. Twist cleared her throat. “Maybe after we’re done with insane filly scouts.” She turned to Tagalong. “You, wake up Dinky. I’ll check what our mission control is doing...” Far from Tagalong’s house, Button was fighting his own fight. As his teammate, Not_A_Colt had just demonstrated, not even double jump could do much against Buy_Some_Apples and her Level 3 Sentry, RD_Is_Best_Pony and her sticky bomb trap, and SBelle666 whose flamethrower was the cause of death of way too many of Button’s friends. “Not good at all,” Button muttered, hiding behind the wall. He wasn’t sure if MyNameIsArcher was still there, but since he already got one arrow to the head from her, he preferred to be careful. “Nursery, are you here?” “Always,” Nursery replied. “ÜberCharge ready.” Button smiled and began revving his minigun. “Now, we will play...”