//------------------------------// // What hit me? (Oh right, a planet...) // Story: Feeling Cooler // by Storm Shine //------------------------------// "Ugh... Anybody get the name of that planet?" I groaned to myself as I woke up. not bothering to open my eyes, I made to rub at my face, though I was stopped from doing so by something clamped around my wrist. I opened my eyes to figure out what could have been holding it, and noticed a metal clamp... I looked over at the other side and.. Same thing. I looked around the rest of the room to find... A Purple pony. With a horn. "What the hell?!" I shouted, an instinctual reaction to any 'WTF' situation. "Oh, you're awake!" The unicorn said cheerily as she turned around. "And sapient at that! Hmm... Are you related to dragons maybe? Your physiology seems to suggest more reptilian origins." "YOU CAN TALK!?" I added, an extra heaping of disbelief. "Of course I can talk! Now then..." her horn lit up, causing a notepad and a feather to float in front of her. "What are you, exactly?" Okay, a magical talking pony.... WTF Levels Critical... Dante.EXE shutting down. Boot sequence initiated. System Check; Brain? Processing... Lag detected, Debugger started in background mode. Arms? Check Legs? Check Head? Check Tail? Check Brain Debugged, all systems clear, rebooting Dante.EXE "It looks weird... Like a dragon with no scales or something, wearing a helmet." I heard a scratchy voice say, making me a bit annoyed. "Ah still don't think it can talk Twi, you were up all night.. Maybe you should get some rest." A southern-accented voice added. "I must say, I rather like it's 'helmet' though. The gem in the center is quite striking." a very 'fancy' sounding voice said, making me feel a touch of pride... for some reason. "I-I'm sure we probably look strange to it too..." A quiet voice stuttered. Jeez, I just want to hug whoever said that for some reason. "'It' can hear you talking." I added, opening my eyes to see- DEAR GOD THEY'VE MULTIPLIED! AND EVOLVED! A yellow pony with wings - WINGS! - eeped, and quickly hid behind an orange pony wearing a stetson - A pony... With a hat. What? - at my rebuttal. "I told you it could talk!" The purple unicorn from last time said excitedly. "Ah can't believe it..." Orange said, her eye's widening. "What's your name? Where are you from? Are there others like you?" Purple asked excitedly, moving closer with each question, until we were practically nose to nose. "I... Think it's only polite to introduce yourself before asking others for their names." I replied as a sort of stalling tactic, still trying to sort out what I was seeing. Her eyes twitched slightly, a piece of hair popping up from her head, "Bu-" "I do believe he is correct Darling." A white unicorn mare with some seriously gravity-defying hair added, flipping said hair. "It is only proper to introduce one's self after all." Purple sighed and nodded, backing off slightly to my relief. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia." She introduced with a tilt of her head. "Mah name's Applejack." The orange mare added, tipping her hat slightly in greeting. "F-flutershy" The yellow one said shyly. "What was that?" I asked, having a hard time hearing it. "My name is Fluttershy..." "I'm Pinkie Pie, but you can call me Pinkie, I can't wait to throw your welcome to Ponyville party!" an excitable pink pony piped up, reminding me a bit of John. "My name is Rarity, a pleasure to meet you." "And I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier of Equestria, and the coolest pony in Ponyville!" Added apreviously unseen - Holy crap-baskets, how did I not see THAT earlier?! - light blue pegasus with rainbow-colored hair. Not kidding, her hair was literally every color of the rainbow... Definitely makes her name a bit on-the-nose. "So what's your name?" She continued, flying up to poke my chest with a hoof. "I'm Cooler." I stated, deciding to try and just go with the flow. "Not cooler than me!" Rainbow Dash replied with a frown, jabbing her hoof into my chest again. "My name is Cooler." I clarified with a frown of my own. "Oh.." She backed off slightly, letting the pur- I mean, letting Twilight move to the front of the group. "Will you please take these off?" I asked, gesturing towards the metal clamps on my arms, legs, and tail. "It's kind of uncomfortable to be strapped onto a table. Besides, it's not like I'm going to hurt you." "Well we didn't know that for sure." Twilight replied uncertainly. "And we still don't.." I sighed with exasperation, "look, if I'd wanted to hurt you, I would have already done it." "Oh yeah!?" Rainbow piped up, "How could you hurt us like that?" I glared, "I'll tell you what, I'll show you two ways I could have hurt somebody, but didn't, and you promise not to strap me onto a table or anything anymore. Sound reasonable?" "I guess.." Twilight said reluctantly. "Alright... Twilight, do you have something you wouldn't mind getting... Destroyed? Like some trash or something?" "Um..." She looked around shiftily and her horn glowed, carrying something wrapped in a sheet out in front of me. "I was meaning to get rid of this." "Great." I replied. "Now everyone stand back." They all shuffled backwards, leaving the object in front of me. "Dākunesu Ai Bīmu" I stated -because the original technique's name sounds way cooler, no pun intended, than the translation... plus I always wanted to say a DBZ Technique and actually do it. - while gazing at it, focusing KI to my eyes in hopes that this would work. And cue awkward silence. All of the ponies looked from the object, to me, and back. They looked at me again, a few having eyebrows raised as if to say 'What?' "Okay, make that one way" I pushed away from the table I was strapped to, shattering the metal restraints like plastic and falling onto my feet, "I'm really strong." Understatement of the year... Looks like all those years of NOT going to the gym finally paid off! Take that Tony! All of the ponies eyes widened in disbelief as they, pretty much all as one, took a step back from me while I stretched a bit. "Relax, I already told you that I wasn't going to hurt you." They all sighed in relief, visibly relaxing. Twilight walked a bit closer, circling me and adding a few pokes and prods here or there. "Would you cut that out?" I asked, annoyed. "But I need to examine you!" She insisted, "For science!" "Maybe we can show him around town instead!" Pinkie suggested, "And then throw him a party!" "But-" "Twilight dear..." Rarity began, "There's always another time, maybe you can give him some time before questioning him." She gestured at me, "He did just wake up after all." "B-but-" "And Ah'd say he seems pretty honest 'bout not wantin' ta hurt any of us." Applejack added, "'Sides, the way he snapped that metal, ah reckon he could've already hurt us if he meant to." "Fine.." Twilight drooped slightly. "Yay!" Pinkie shouted, jumping into the air happily. I followed the group of mares as we started going up some stairs, coming out into a cozy little area with a lot of books "Maybe later I can show you some of my tricks!" Rainbow Dash suggested, always happy to show off. "I mean, I'd offer to race you, but I have the clear advantage with these babies." She gestured at her wings as we got outside. That's what she thinks, heh.. I looked around, noticing a lot of ponies milling about. Jeeze, every shape and color to these equines... and the eyes! Huge and expressive, almost like something straight out of a cartoon! I noticed a lot of them were staring at me, and tried to ignore that and focus on the conversation as we continued to walk. "I think I'd keep up in a race better than you think." I told the boastful pegasus. "Oh yeah?" She replied, a challenging grin on her muzzle. "Well then lets go out to the field first. and you can try your luck." Rainbow led the way to a large field outside town, "Alright, first pony-" I coughed slightly. "What?" "I'm not a pony, in case you haven't noticed." I replied, gesturing at myself. "Alright, whatever! The point is, the first one to the other side of the field wins." She replied irritably, before giving me a smirk. "I'll even go easy on you." I smirked right back, "You really shouldn't underestimate others." "Heh, we'll see who's underestimating who!" She laughed. "Y'all ready?" Applejack asked, acting as the referee. I crouched slightly, getting ready to push off the ground. "Set" Rainbow did the same, flaring her wings open slightly, a confident grin on her face. "Go!" Rainbow and I both jumped forwards, engaging our own modes of flight; Her flapping her wings and leaving a rainbow streak behind her, and me sending KI through my feet and flying through the air. Rainbow started to look back, probably expecting to see me running after her in vain, only to double-take as she saw me soaring beside her. "YOU CAN FLY!?" She shrieked. I didn't reply, instead I simply smirked and sent more KI into my feet, blasting into first place. Unfortunately, Where she stopped at the finish... I forgot one eensy, weensy, little thing... I don't know how to stop. "CRRAAAPP~!!!!" I flew past the finish, over a creepy looking forest and a castle, past some volcanos - Were those dragons?! - over the ocean, and continuing past a few more landmarks, including the completely barren wasteland I started out in. Thankfully I finally figured out the breaks just in time to stop at... The finish line. Around the world in eighty days? I just did around the world in five minutes! Albeit, it would be more impressive if it had been on purpose... "Sorry about that, I uh... Yeah, forgot to stop?" I said somewhat questioningly. "YOU CAN FLY!?" She shouted at me again, as we descended back towards the other five - well I descended, she followed in a state of shock. - only to meet... "YOU CAN FLY!?" I facepalmed, "So... This is going to be fun."