Twilight's Twilight

by sunnypack

5 - Control Measures

Ever tried walking on air? It’s pretty impossible even when you know how it’s done.

“This is really hard.”

Twilight glanced over from her perch like the way Opal lazes on top of Rarity’s wardrobe. She shrugged good-naturedly. “It’s basically lifting yourself, so it would be pretty difficult for a unicorn. I congratulate myself for doing something so difficult so young.” She patted herself on the back.

I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that for me?”

Twilight giggled. “You’ll get it later.”

After sneaking and sliding and keeping my heart pumping with enough adrenaline to last me a couple of lifetimes, we made it to the southernmost point of the castle, at the highest elevation: the observation tower. Twilight told me something about it being unoccupied at the moment, but that didn’t stop me from jumping in surprise when the door squeaked shut from the draft.

Despite my yelp, nothing happened and Twilight spent a few minutes teaching me the ‘lighter than air’ spell. Which I had difficulties with, not only with the technicality of the spell, but the unsettling notion that I was several hundred feet above the ground.

My hoof lifted hesitantly, then came down on the slightly elastic surface of the spell. It was too giving, it always made me feel like I was about to fall through it rather than be supported. If I wasn’t so distracted with trying to balance on a flat disc of air, I would probably be less patient with future-me’s poorly timed jokes. You’d think she’d get tired of them, but no, she was inexhaustible. My tolerance with her and her jokes was beginning to wear thin, and quickly too.

“Comfortable?” Twilight said after I’d finally settled on my patch of air.

I remained silent, not giving her the satisfaction of answering.

“Oh come on, it’s not all that bad. Look, we have some time before we need to get things going so let’s enjoy it while we can.”

I scanned the skies, half-expecting a patrol to drop down on us. “Aren’t you afraid there’s going to be a passing pegasus patrol?”

“Don’t be so paranoid. This is a no-fly zone, remember?” She shook her head. “And there aren’t any pegasi guards that patrol here.”

“Really?” Even though I’d been around the castle often enough, it never occurred to me to find out what the security was like around Canterlot Castle. “I would have thought there’d be more, seeing as the Princesses are here.”

Twilight chuckled. “Oh, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, these are peaceful times, you’d hardly need that many guards. What are you expecting, a diabolical plot to overthrow the throne?”

“No,” I replied, slightly mollified by her flagrant dismissal. “I just thought it’d be… you know, more secure.”

Twilight shrugged. “The castle is more for diplomats than for defence. It was built more for ostentatious purposes, as a way to mark the following Age of Prosperity after the Discord’s Reign. Did the guards help when the changelings were around?”

Though I knew much of history, it seemed like Twilight was full of tidbits that filled in the gaps of my knowledge. Wait, there was something that she said that felt off. She mentioned something earlier… What was it? The notion lurked in the back of my mind like an itch I couldn’t scratch. I remember it was something about causality…

“Oh, anyway, you should take a look out that way,” Twilight continued, interrupting my thoughts. “From this vantage point you can see the surrounding city. See? Wasn’t it worth it to sneak up to one of the higher towers?”

I wouldn’t have done it alone, that’s for sure, but I could appreciate the panoramic vista from our spot. We were above Canterlot Gardens, but not too far to the left was the steep cliffs and the iconic waterfall, and to the right was the castle itself, tall and imposing. In front was the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. I could see the tiny figures of ponies moving about slowly, looking much like ants, rather than ponies.

“Why are we up here anyway?”

“What? Scared of heights?”

I shuffled my hooves and glanced down. The view of the courtyard below swam slightly as I took a sharp breath. “Uhh… a little,” I admitted reluctantly. Who wouldn’t be?

Twilight looked surprised. “I keep forgetting that once I got these—” she gave herself a once over, lingering on her wings “—the fear of heights pretty much wore off.”

“Is that a common thing?” I asked wryly.

“Getting wings? Hardly. Being an alicorn? Rare but it happens. Surprisingly more often than you think.” Twilight gave me a lopsided smirk. “Anyway wings are convenient, it gives you confidence. Why do you think Rainbow can sleep comfortably in swaying trees?”

“Fluttershy doesn’t.”

Twilight snorted. “You and I both know that Fluttershy is an exception amongst most ponies, if not pegasi.”

I couldn’t really argue with that. I found myself off-topic, Twilight had a habit of distracting me, winding me down paths I never even considered. Time to get to the heart of the matter. “So again, before I get too derailed by your rambling—”

“Hah!”

I ignored her interjection and ploughed on. “—can you at least let me in on why we’re up here?”

Twilight stretched on her patch of air, flexing herself while she cocked her head, as if she was seriously considering whether she would tell me or not. That was yet another thing about her that got to me, she always knew how to wind me up. I refuse to think of her as me. The similarities stopped at a shared interest in books. I won’t—will not—be a pony like her when I got to… whatever her age was.

“Did you read my letter?” she asked after a brief moment of silence.

“Uhh…” I didn’t. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I’ll tell you if you’ve read the letter,” Twilight said. “It’s nearly Thursday. You must have been dying to know.”

Actually, I’d completely forgotten about it when all of this started happening.

“Y-Yes?” I said with all the confidence of a penguin in an forest fire.

“Really?” she drawled, staring at me. I was sweating bullets, but I stuck with my statement, it would be too late to back out now.

Twilight eyed me for a few moments longer, then finally shrugged. “Okay then, if you’re sure.”

I sighed, trying not to make my relief noticeable. Future-Twilight sure knew how to put the pressure on. For an instant, she seemed to have the bearing of royalty. It felt like the time during school when I snapped at a snooty bully and set her coat on fire. When Princess Celestia found out, she gave me such a cold look of disappointment, it had almost stopped my heart. Nopony bothered me anymore, though I think they kind of kept their distance, though I hadn’t minded so much.

“It’s about time,” Twilight explained, her undercurrent of mirth returning like the breaking of storm clouds.

“What?” I asked cautiously.

“Time,” she said impatiently. “Celestia’s tea time, to be exact.”

I didn’t follow.

“What?”

Twilight puckered her lips, like she was a teacher dealing with a particularly slow student. “Celly has her tea time at this moment, every Thursday. We’re going to do it here.”

I pursed my lips. “Just because you’re an alicorn, doesn’t mean you can call the Princess, ‘Celly’.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “I’m a princess too, you know.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A Princess of what, exactly?”

She didn’t answer, she just gave me a self-satisfied smirk. She just casually ran a hoof down her wings while I tried not to get caught up in her self-aggrandisement.

Folding my arms, I sat on my patch of air and stared at her. I still had doubts about doing this.

Twilight caught my look and stopped, her lips twitching in amusement. “Okay, okay, you’re impatient, little-me. When you get older, you learn to take things at their natural pace.”

“How old—”

“Ah ba-bup! Rude to ask a lady that question, even among friends.”

“We’re not friends!”

Twilight laughed. “Really? I thought you liked making friends. Isn’t the whole point of you being here because you wanted to make friends?”

“That’s…” I trailed off trying to think of a comeback. “Gah!”

Twilight whistled. “Eloquent.”

“I decide who I’m friends with,” I finally retorted. “Sometimes, ponies don’t mesh well together, you don’t have to force yourself to be friends with everypony.”

Twilight nodded sagely. “Right, right, so what qualities qualifies somepony as a potential friend?”

The way she was going along with what I was saying was suspicious, but I answered her anyway.

“They… would have to get to know me.” Before I even finished the statement I whacked myself in the forehead.

Twilight giggled. “Oh, well who better than me? I know practically everything about you!”

I could feel my eyebrows draw together as I thought furiously of other plausible criteria.

“Shared interests.”

“Books!”

“Availability.”

“I can be there whenever you want!”

“Funny!”

“Ate your chocolates!”

“Generous!”

“Gave you chocolates!”

“Kind!”

“Left you the best chocolates!”

“Honest!”

“Told you about the chocolates!”

“Loyal!”

“I’ll always eat your chocolates!”

“Kind, generous, loyal, funny, and honest!”

“All of the above, and I’m magical.”

I huffed. She knew what I knew, there was no way to outsmart her.

Unless…

“Makes me happy when they’re around!”

Twilight’s head reared back in surprise.

Gotcha!

Then a slow smile spread on her lips.

“What?” I demanded.

“You’re smiling,” she said.

 The grin died, quick as a flash, but I had already lost the war before I could even think of winning the battle. I pressed my lips together as I tried to think of something, anything.

Twilight arched an eyebrow at my silence. She affected a hurt expression. “I’ve been trying so hard to be your friend and after all this you say we aren’t?”

I searched for the right words to frame my thoughts. “W-Well when you put it that way…”

Twilight smiled, though it didn’t feel as genuine as before. “Okay, we’re not friends now! Isn’t that great?”

“B-But y-you—”

Twilight shrugged. “Oh don’t worry about it. I’ll get over it. Besides, if you really don’t want to be friends with me, that’s fine. You don’t have to be friends with yourself, right? That’s weird.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there like a mute puppet.

Twilight shook her head. “Alright, enough of that, we’re here for a mission, and you’re here for a book.”

I nodded, feeling ill-at-ease, but no longer for the prank. For some reason, I felt like I did something wrong. It’s only natural not to be friends with somepony you don’t like, right? I didn’t want to think about it.

“So what do I do?” I said, desperate to fill in the silence with my voice.

“You don’t have to do anything. I just wanted you to tag along.”

“What the heck? You mean all this time I could be at home reading?!”

Twilight shrugged. “You need to get out more. This is a good opportunity.”

“But—”

“Oh look, here she comes!”

Twilight fiddled with the canister while I stared at the other end of the courtyard. From our vantage point, I could see the Princess’ recognisable splash of white on the backdrop of grass, sculptured hedges and the simple stone path. She paced along sedately, but now that the Princess was close by I had a feeling we would be discovered any second. I pawed nervously at my little patch of solid air.

“Hey, she’s coming close!” I said urgently.

“Here, hold this.” She passed the canister back to me.

“What is it?” I asked her suspiciously. Twilight hadn’t thought to bring saddlebags with her, so she had stowed it in mine.

“It’s sunspark.”

“Sunspark?”

“Sunspark. You know, concentrated sunlight. Distilled essence of light magic. Ambrosia. It has a lot of names.”

“What’s that going to do?”

Twilight shrugged, then pointed down. I glanced down and spotted Luna nearby as well. I stared. Oh… well maybe she’ll give up—

“Great,” she whispered gleefully, “two for the price of one sacrifice.”

“What? Sacrif—”

“Nothing. Take this to her as well.” She held out yet another canister.

Too late, I realised that I’d grabbed the canisters with telekinesis… and forgot to keep the air spell going.

Her devious grin was one the last things filling my vision as I fell, and I screamed the only thing I could say in a situation like this.

“Twilight! I’ll get you back foooooorr thiiiiiiissss!”

The ground was rushing up fast, but I felt a sideways jerk and hit something hard. Then things got patchy.

———————

Murky shadows drifted in and out of my vision. I think I saw an elephant and Smarty Pants.

“Are you alright, Twilight Sparkle?”

“No, not her,” I mumbled. “Get her away from me.”

“That’s not very nice, Luna was only trying to help.”

“Indeed, it seems your student is not grateful that I had saved her life.”

“No, not you,” I grumbled with a frown. “Get me away from myself.”

“Ah, well then Luna, you need not take that to heart. It seems Twilight is fighting a battle against herself.”

“Do you mean that literally, sister?”

“Time travel.”

“Ah.”

Time travel? Where was I? Wait. In the garden. Near the Princess.

I sat up, eyes shooting open.

“Oof!”

“Oww!”

Stars and sparkles burst into my vision as an intense pain shot through my forehead. My vision had cleared just enough to make out a dark blue coat… oh Luna. I had knocked Luna on the head as she was leaning over me. I clasped a hoof to my head.

“Sow-wy!” I mumbled groggily. I shook my head to clear the remaining fuzziness. “Ooooh, that’s going to hurt a lot more later. Stupid me. Stupid future-me.”

My head throbbed.

“Or it can hurt right now, I don’t get to choose,” I grumbled.

Luna rubbed the spot on her head with her own hoof, but gave me a gracious smile. “Worry not, Twilight, such an insult is a minor thing. I am also quite acquainted with worries of time-travelling self-aggravation. Such is a part of an alicorn’s struggles.” Luna flicked her hoof, but winced and placed it back on her head. I suddenly had a vision of waking up and getting skewered on her horn. I found it incredibly funny and started laughing.

“Insult? What’s that? Insult, insult, insult.” I knew the word but the meaning was slipping out of my hooves. I could feel my brow wrinkling in confusion. It was hard to parse through what she just said. My head was starting to spin again and the world was a little more blurry than usual. I shook my head a few times, but it wouldn’t go away.

“Injury,” Princess Celestia clarified, and I shifted my gaze right. The fall and the knock to the head must have made me a little delirious, because the words that came out of my mouth didn’t sound anything like me.

“I have something for you, Celly!” I fumbled around in my saddlebags and fumbled the canister over. Celly? I didn’t talk like that.

Celestia’s mouth pulled into an amused smile, while Luna giggled at the name. She lifted the canister gently.

“Why Twilight, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call me that.”

“You probably will,” I slurred. “In the future!”

I don’t think I made it past that point, because everything faded back into impressions again.

———————

The next time I woke up, or more accurately, lucid, the day was breaking and I realised it was Thursday. Around me were the nostalgic, but vaguely unfamiliar sheets of my little study room I had close to the castle’s library. I got up unsteadily, crawling rather than slipping out of bed to get to my old desk.

The table bore a handwritten note.

Dear Twilight,

If you’re reading this, you must be up and about. Please make your way to my chambers as soon as you are able. If I’m not in, feel free to come back later, please make sure you tell a guard so I know you are safe.

Kind regards,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Luna says, ‘Greetings, hope you are well.’, but she’s tired and has taken to bed.

Everything came back to me all at once. I let the letter flutter to the table. Oh no. Nope. Nadda. No way. I didn’t…

I embarrassed myself in front of the Princesses didn’t I?

Around me was the familiarity of my little study room. It didn’t look like anypony had been using it recently. It could be because the Princess hadn’t had a student in a while. I stopped as I caught myself in the mirror. It was a small piece that hung on the wall and I could barely fit my face in it. When I was a foal, it seemed plenty big enough for my purposes. I barely used it, apart from checking that everything was in place.

I looked like a mess. My mane was tangled and matted. My eyes had slight bags under them and my mouth was creased into a frown that was rapidly turning into distasteful pout. There was a lot left to be desired. I wasn’t in the best condition to see the Princess. It was still early, the sun had just risen and I could feel the rays warming the nape of my neck and casting dappled patches through the faintly coloured stained glass.

I wondered what I would look like, all out of sorts and facing the Princess. I should clean myself up a bit.

There was a small comb, a little too small for me, but I dragged it through my mane as I pieced together my shattered thoughts. Twilight had taken off somewhere, seeing as how the Princess hadn’t mentioned her. I was taken to the study room, possibly because I was out of commission and the canisters—

Where were the canisters?!

I drew myself away from the mirror and cast it around the room. Not on the bed, not in the sheets, not under the bed, not on the shelves, not anywhere! Wait, where were my saddlebags? I raked the room, then turned around, about to ask the staff if they’d seen it, but then spotted it hanging on the door.

“Oh,” I mumbled sheepishly, though nopony would be around to hear it. I took down the saddlebag and rifled through it, but the canisters weren’t there. There could only be one explanation for that. The Princesses had taken them.

“Sweet Celestia, I’m going to kill myself when I find myself.”

———————

I opened the door and found her just standing there.

“Hey there,” said barging in past me.

My mouth popped open. “Y-You!”

She raised her hoof and gasped at me. “M-Me!” She giggled at my expression.

“That’s not funny!” I snapped.

“Oh it was hilarious, lighten up, you should have seen your expression this whole time!” She placed her fore hooves and squished her cheeks as she gasped. “Oh no, not the Princesses! We can’t prank anypony! I’m the fun police!”

“That’s not true!”

“It’s true, you should listen to yourself. Because that’s what I am. You.”

“You lied to me!”

Twilight held out a hoof. “Technically, I never did. We did prank a princess. You’re a princess.”

“I’m not!”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes you are,” she explained patiently, “in the future, remember?”

Irrelevant! She was trying to sidetrack me again.

“You let me fall!” I shouted, losing the last shreds of my patience. “And you’re standing there, like nothing happened!”

Twilight looked mystified. “What?”

“You let me fall,” I ground out again.

Twilight tilted her head. “Luna caught you. I saw her, she was going to save you. I had a spell ready. You weren’t in any danger. Plus, you head-butted Luna, I had nothing to do with that. Pretty much all the damage was really done to yourself by yourself.” I shrugged uncomfortably. “As in not me.” She brightened. “And come on, your expression was worth it.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say back so I just stood there, my jaw working open and closed.

“Come on, that was pretty good, wasn’t it?” she pressed giving me a blithe smile.

That did it.

“I want you gone,” I said quietly.

Her smile froze. “Uhh, what?”

“Just go, now.”

Twilight stood there as if she wasn’t sure I was serious. But I was. Deadly serious.

She cleared her throat. “Where to?”

“I don’t know, back to your future, wherever you want, just go, don’t come back.”

Twilight sighed. “Really, are you sure?”

“Yes,” I snapped. “Just go already!”

Twilight looked at me sadly, like she was disappointed in me. Herself. Myself. Whatever.

“You didn’t read the letter, did you?”

“I don’t care about the letter! I don’t care about you! Everything would have been better if you hadn’t come back, if you didn’t come back here!”

Twilight looked at me with my deep, amethyst eyes as the lingering echoes of my shout died away.

“If you wish,” she simply stated, then she disappeared.

I glared at the spot in the wall where she had been, feeling tears of frustration gather in the corners of my eyes. Slowly, I let the tension flow out of my muscles and relaxed. She was gone. Just like that.

I thought I should feel happy, or ecstatic, but I felt empty inside.

I shook my head. Why was I here feeling sorry for myself? She was the one who overstepped the bounds. Or I would be, but I wouldn’t, I just…

I stomped to the desk and picked up the letter, wiping away my tears angrily.

Nothing. I should get going.

——————

It was a harrowing experience, walking gingerly down the hallways that I had frequented in my youth. I was in two minds of being relaxed by the familiarity and feeling the dread slowly make its way through my body with every step I took in the direction of the Princess’ room. Though I was still technically the Princess’ student, she hadn’t taken direct control over my studies in some time, so it felt like I was in a weird twilight zone of eerie discomfort. Where I felt that Princess Celestia would be disappointed, but even worse, maybe even disinterested, because I wasn’t even her responsibility anymore. Still, I had to warn her about the canisters. Who knew what Twilight did with them?

It was an irrational fear, but I couldn’t dismiss it, no matter how much I tried to reason with myself.

Too soon, I found myself outside her chambers. Two stoic guards stood bored outside her door. They were her personal guards, so she must be in. They both recognised me, but didn’t say anything, just smiling in recognition.

“Hello,” I said nervously, not expecting a reply. Anything they said would be a breach in protocol anyway.

“The Princess is expecting you,” the one on the left said. It was Jasper, the more friendlier of the Princess’ contingent of guards.

“Thank you,” I said in a small voice as I edged past them.

Jasper raised his eyebrow at my behaviour, but I just hunched my shoulders and tried to not look like a wooden board that happened to sprout four legs.

The doors didn’t make a sound as they opened, and throughout the whole time I’ve ever been in the castle, I’ve never heard a single door squeak. One pony, apparently, was in charge of oiling all the doors every month or so. She was very diligent, but I heard one of the servants saying that Lilac hated the job, because it took her a whole day just to do every single door in the castle, what with the castle having that many doors.

Shutting the door wasn’t as soundless, and the click interrupted what was unmistakably quill on parchment. I heard the heavy nib set down on the table and the Princess swung around in her seat, looking as radiant as ever, and larger than life. The way her mane cascaded down with shimmering sparkles of muted light glowing in its strands gave her an ethereal appearance, she truly looked like the magical royalty she represented.

I found myself comparing her to myself from the future. I didn’t act anything like a princess, my mane still looked the same, if only a bit longer, and apart from the wings, nopony would know I was a princess, what with me devoid of any official regalia that fashionably framed the pony in front of me. I was about as far as a pony could get from being royal. If it weren’t for the wings, I’d never had believed her.

I dismissed the thoughts irritably. She wasn’t my concern anymore. Now it was damage control.

“Good Morning, Princess,” I said with a slight bow. The way I hitched on ‘morning’ betrayed the true depth of my widening anxiety.

“Good Morning, Twilight,” she replied sedately. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Princess,” I lied, turning my gaze downwards.

If Celestia caught onto my reticence, she didn’t say anything. I heard her chair scrape back and hoof steps getting closer by the second.

“I got this from you while you were… indisposed,” she said innocently.

I glanced up, seeing her gentle smile and gulping audibly.

She knew…

“Princess,” I said unsteadily. “I can explain.”

Princess Celestia merely raised an eyebrow as her expression turned serious. “I should think so,” she replied. “Where did you get such a thing?”

I kept quiet. Even if I pinned it on my future-self I was still technically responsible for my own actions, future, or not. At least she was gone.

“It was me,” I admitted softly. “I did it.”

“No wonder,” she replied in amazement. “Thank you so much, my faithful student! This is the best present I could have asked for.”

I leaned back in surprise. “Princess?”

“Twilight, I don’t know how you knew my birthday, or that Luna’s was next week, but I’ve never received a gift of this calibre.” The canister flipped around and underneath I saw an engraving carved subtly on its surface.

Happy Birthday, Princess Celestia.

Flabbergasted, I just watched as she opened the canister with a pop. A gentle golden glow emanated from the inside, wreathing her features in gentle light. “Sunspark,” Celestia said breathlessly. “How did you know?”

“I… didn’t, Princess.”

I really didn’t. What was she talking about?

Celestia smiled, replacing the lid and patting the canister. “Oh you’re so modest, Twilight. Sunspark is a rare ingredient for both potion brewing and even just for tasting. It has both magical curative and soothing properties that makes practically any delicacy taste better!” Her eyes were wide with excitement. “It’s extremely hard to get, let alone trap in such a convenient form. This must have taken years of studying magic to achieve!” She brought out the other canister. “And how did you know that Luna liked Moonshine?”

“Uhh…” The rest of my sentence trailed off as the Princess, Princess Celestia herself, gleefully wrapped her hooves around me and hugged me tight like a mother would her foal. I found my mind going blank as I struggled to make sense of the situation.

“Thank you, Twilight. This is the best present I could have ever received!”

“Y-You’re welcome, Princess,” I managed to stammer. Outwardly, I smiled and patted her on the side, the only place I could reach with my hooves trapped to my chest. Inside, I was screaming.

What the heeeeeeeck?

———————

Princess Celestia had continued to shower me with praise as I could only nod and smile weakly. The whiplash in mood had left me spinning and all I did was just reluctantly accept her enthusiastic thanks. The Princess seemed to come alive, and doubtless she might have thrown me a feast or held a national holiday with the way she was going, if the guards hadn’t interrupted and drew her away for an urgent court matter. With another hug, the Princess drew away and told me she’d treasure the canister for a long time to come.

I left the castle, escaping with little shreds of my sanity hanging from the corners of my mind.

I think a huge misunderstanding was made, but I didn’t want to stop the Princess mid-way through her excited monologue. She really, genuinely, enjoyed the ‘prank’. But it hadn’t been a prank. I had to track down my future-self. What game was she playing?

I opened the door back to my study room, intending to retrieve my saddlebags. I half-expected her to leap out and laugh at me, to mock me again for being so naive.

But the room was empty.