Chapter 24
On My Honor
Nine Layer Devil’s Food Cake
By Honored Service
“What?” I stared at the gathered creatures. All it took to get a pony to curse was to give them state of the art magical gear and ask them to travel the depths of Hell. It's not that bad.
“You are serious?” Luna asked quietly.
“Of course!” I smiled, “I need help, and who knows what is down there, I could use some backup.” I walked over to my many weapon racks and began pulling a few weapons down and adding them into a large military duffle bag.
“Honored.” I felt a hoof gently touch my back. I looked back as Luna stared at me with tear filled eyes. “You can't expect my sister and I to come adventuring with you through the Underworld. We have a nation to run.”
“Speak for yourself.”
My jaw dropped as Celestia sauntered towards us. She levitated the lit cigar from her mouth and smirked. “For too long I have had to sit by and watch disaster after disaster plague my little ponies. And now I have a chance to kick some evil right in the flank. Luna, dear sister of mine, I’m going to secure the future for our ponies so they no longer have to fear the word Tartarus. They now will know a real protector guards it.” From the weapon rack Celestia took my sawed off combat shotgun and racked the pump. “And I'll see Honored out till the end.”
“Are you insane? To miss this much chaos and anarchy? The good guys on march through hell to punch a God in the face! I just hope I have enough popcorn!” Discord giggled madly while spinning in the air.
“Meh. I've followed him through worse.” Night Rose said with little emotion. “I'll see him to his rise to immortality and such, but I'm still on the clock, right?” She asked looking towards the two princesses.
“Yes of course.” Celestia said with a smile.
I looked back to Luna, “All we're missing is our support class.” I added with a extra big smile. “We got the tank, moi. The battle medic mage thing,” I pointed to Celestia who nodded, “the scout stealth thing,” I jerked my thumb towards Night Rose, “and the bard.” Discord strummed on a lute made out of his grenade launcher.
Luna looked to her sister, then Discord, and Night Rose. She turned back to me and placed her hoof in my hand. “Alright Honored. I shall escort you through the Underworld.”
“Okay it's all settled.” I said as the ponies and Discord moved up the stairs out of my weapon basement. “Let's go outside and start doing some practice. Celestia, a word please.”
“Yes Honored?” Celestia asked as everyone else left the basement.
I reached down into my pocket and pulled out a small blue crystal, charged with a massive teleporting spell. “This is a gateway teleporting spell gem. A one way ticket for all in its range to Ponyville town square. If something happens down there, I die, or someone else gets hurt, you use this. No matter what I say, you get Luna and Rose out of there. I know Luna won't leave if I don't, but that might not be possible. You have to promise me that if something happens, you get everyone you can out of there, regardless of what is happening to me.”
“Honored that's completely-” Celestia began to say but I quickly grabbed her shoulders to silence her.
“No I mean it. You have too. Luna is partially right, you two have a nation to run. They come first.” I stared intently at her before she gave a weak nod and took the gem, stuffing it into one of the pouches on her belt.
“Okay Honored, I will do it if it needs to be done.” Celestia quickly smiled, putting on her ‘nothing can go wrong’ face, and headed up the stairs to join the others.
The day slowly came to an end as the human looked at his gathered friends who had agreed to follow him into the depths of the Underworld. Most books he had read described few details of what awaited them after the portal. Honored sat on the steps leading into his house. He was lost deep in thought, watching Discord and Celestia sparring with their different weapons. Three members of his team were what he assumed to be immortal beings. Another was a robotic tank with loyalty, when it counted, that was on par with Rainbow Dash. And Night Rose could simply vanish into thin air it seemed. His team was impressive, or at least here on Equestria it seemed so.
But what laid in store for them?
“A bit for your thought?” Luna asked sitting down beside the human and gently leaned into his side.
“You wouldn't happen to have a map of the Underworld or a stat list of what we will face down there?” Honored asked sarcastically. “What is down there, waiting to get us?”
“I don't know Honored, I know that we more than capable of dealing with anything down there.”
Honored gave Luna a small smile before sighing. “You're right Lu. I'm just working myself up. Now let's do some practice.” Before Honored had started his next train of thought, he was ripped into the air and flung across the yard. The human bounced and skipped across the grass and dirt, stopping nearly fifty feet from where he had been sitting.
Shaking his ringing head, Honored looked to see Luna crouched in a defensive stance, her machine gun floating beside her. Honored groaned as the metal bullet feed system snapped and locked into place into the gun, now giving her two thousand rounds of pain before she would have to dump the pack and reload the ammo box.
“Shit.” Honored said while staring at the power armor across the yard. Channeling magic into his gauntlet, Honored created a smoke bomb and planted it at his feet. Thick black smoke covered the area, giving Honor some momentary concealment from Luna’s withering fire. Honored summoned more and more black smoke, trying to cover the entire yard.
“That won't work dear.” Luna called out in a sing song voice while whipping her wings back and fanning them rapidly, quickly dispersing the smoke from the area. Luna grinned as she aimed the weapon at the spot he was at. But as the last bit of smoke cleared, Luna found that the human was nowhere to be found. She looked everywhere, scanning for the human, but he was gone.
And so was his new armor.
Luna would never show it, but on the inside she was terrified. That armor was a force to be reckoned with. And if he had it… well she would lose the element of surprise she had.
As Luna continued to sweep the area, looking for the Human, Celestia, Discord, and Night Rose watched from the roof of Honored’s home. “Can you see him?” Celestia whispered to Rose.
“Yea.” She whispered back. Luna jerked her head to Night Rose pleading for a hint. Her growing wide eyes gave Luna the answer.
WHOSH
With a sudden jolt, Luna was ripped through from the air by Honored who dropped down from the sky like a comet descending from space. Luna struggled to get free as Honored hugged her to the suit’s chest. She beat her hooves madly against the metal, but she failed to even scratch the material. As the two neared the ground, Honored lifted Luna into the air with one arm and then slammed her down as they made impact with the ground.
As Luna smashed into the earth, the vents on the suit’s legs opened and purple green flames washed out, causing Luna to then go shooting across the ground, propelled by the magical detonation.
“Ohhhhhhhhh.” The three spectators on the house leaned back as Luna bounced to a stop. Tune raised his claw and flipped over a 1 on a scoreboard.
Honored Luna
1 0
Luna rose from the ground, and snorted, steam escaping her nostrils. Honored stood from his landing and raised one hand towards Luna and motioned, ‘come and get some.’ Luna roared and dashed forward towards the human who slung out his oversized left arm, the magical void blade appearing alongside it.
Honored swung towards the charging princess, only to slice deeply into the ground. Luna teleported around the powerful strike and struck out with her hind legs, delivering a mammoth buck the the armor clad human.
Thunk
Luna’s form was shaken to the core as she recoiled from her own kick. Honored’s armor failed to even be dented from the blow that normally would have blasted anything across the yard.
“I'm afraid that won't work.” Honored chuckled while leaning back and swinging his void blade at the lunar princess. She scooted back and dodged around the blade before rearing up and slamming her head towards the armor’s helmet. Honored quickly moved back, but failed to see the incoming machine gun.
WHAM
Honored recoiled from the hit from the entire side of the machine gun. The human shook his head, but the momentary pause in his assault gave Luna all the time she needed for her attack. She put her horn under the edge of the helmet and fired a direct force spell.
SHHHH-BAM
There was a concussion wave that traveled along the ground as the human tumbled backwards, failing to gain his balance. With a deep ‘thud’, the armor’s helmet crashed to the ground beside the kneeling human. Honored looked up from his crouched position on the ground, a fire burning in his eyes that Luna knew all too well. She gulped as he extended an arm out and gripped the edge of the helmet. He flipped it around and placed it back on his head.
HISSSSSSS
The helmet sealed into place and Honored rolled his head around, several loud ‘cracks’ filled the air of his neck popping. Tune adjusted the scoreboard and began to fill the air with music. Honored smiled at the beat.
Honored Luna
1 1
Honored launched into the air with help from the suit’s magical thrusters and slammed down before Luna, sending the magical void flames out in all directions, scorching the earth. Luna dove and leaped into the sky to avoid the flames, but failed to see Honored do the same. He jumped at the same time, meeting Luna’s surprised face with a deadly double handed fist smash. Luna spiraled back towards the ground and landed in a heap.
Honored Luna
2 1
Luna slowly struggled back to her hooves and stared down the suit of armor that slowly began to circle around her. Her loved one was putting a hurting on her. If she didn't win then she was never going to hear the end of it. If she could just stall him till the moon came out.
Luna looked up into the sky and the receding sun, if she could buy herself a few more minutes, she could win this. She knew how to beat him.
Celestia stared at the two circling each other, like two wolves preparing to strike, and chuckled.
“What is is C? Care to share?” Discord quipped around a mouthful of popcorn that he munching on. He reached down into a brown bag and pulled out the popcorn kernels and tossed them into the air, where they popped and fell down into his awaiting maw.
“Oh nothing. Just remember how way back when Luna used to be called the Siren of the Moon?”
Discord choked on his mouthful of popcorn and began to pound on his chest. “She wouldn't.”
“She is. She is waiting till the moon is out to get the full effect. Honored doesn't stand a chance.” Celestia turned to stare at Night Rose, “you may want to cover your ears when it begins.”
“When what begins?” Night Rose asked, looking as emotionally dead as always.
“You’ll know.” Was all Celestia gave the thestral pony.
Honored swung forward suddenly, his void blade sizzling through the air at Luna. She side stepped around the blade and jumped over Honored’s incoming fist from a right handed punch. Luna landed on his still extended right arm and back flipped off the arm while kicking him across the front of his helmet. She landed on her rear legs, wings splayed out behind her before shooting forward, several spell runes appearing in the air before her.
Each rune acted a speed boosting anchor and as Luna passed through each one, her speed doubled. As she struck Honored, she travelling six times faster than normal.
CRACK
Luna’s extended hooves slammed into Honored’s chest and sent him skidding across the ground. He stayed standing but shook of the hit like nothing. Luna still had a minute or two before she could raise the moon, and make Honored submit.
A blue rune suddenly sparked to life on the suits front metal plate. Luna’s eyes grew wide as she read the arcane symbols around the magical rune.
As Honored got close, bolts of lightning began to shoot off his armor and strike towards Luna. She moved back, dodging each bolt. A Lightning rune!
‘That crafty human.’ Luna thought. With his now nearly unlimited power supply it meant that was the greatest defense he had in his arsenal. If anything hostile got close enough, they would meet his rune of lightning and would constantly be shocked to death by the elemental magic.
Honored charged forward, lighting sparking off of his armor and striking all over the place at random. Luna kept falling back, dodging around the flashes of electricity. One more minute.
Luna rocketed into the sky and heard the roar of magical thrusters beneath her. Honored was giving chase. She dared a look and felt utterly terrified. As he hurtled towards her through the sky, the lightning was shooting off still making him light up like some kind of demon. She quickly felt her sister’s magic surround her as the sun vanished from the sky.
Luna quickly reached out into the magical essence of her being and the world and found her moon. She eased it into orbit and let it go. She felt the magic of the moon fill her body and give her a new sense of will to fight her love. As the massive moon moved into position, Honored slowed as he spotted Luna’s silhouette against the backdrop of the moon.
“Uh oh.” Honored said. He had fallen right into her trap.
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
WHOOSH
Honored now dove through the sky, back towards the ground where he had more mobility compared to the sky. Shooting stars rained down towards Honored as he moved back to the ground. He swung the void blade through the air and sliced the smoldering rock in two before it could impact him. Honored hit the ground and rolled from his less than graceful landing. More small meteors hit around him, but Honored now had the advantage of being on the ground and was able to dodge them with ease.
Honored readied a void bolt of magic when he stopped.
Luna stood before him, her mouth open and a gentle melody coming forth. The song of a thousand mournful song birds filled the air as the world around Honored screeched to a stop.
“Goodnight. Goodnight my sweet little angel.
Rest at ease with peace.
For you dread no danger.”
Honored tried to release the bolt of magic, but his will, it was no longer his own. He was trapped. He had played with his quarry for too long and now she had him trapped in this… this magic was unknow to him. Mars was even struggling with it. The void master, the balancing force of destruction was halted at this song.
“Come my darling, do not fight
Look to the sky above.
See the angel to delight.”
Honored’s arms slowly reached up and shook while removing the helmet that protected his head. The magic was forcing him to do it. Flashbacks to Nightmare controlling his appendages filled his mind, but unlike with the backstabbing Nightmare, Honored felt no ability to resist the magic. He was lost completely to Luna’s will. He could fight no longer.
You have no worries, have no fear,
For your guardian angel is here.”
Luna sang softly while having Honored activate his own void blade and slowly, with agonizing slowness, bring the blade to his own neck. Honored slowly drew the blade against his own neck. He felt the blade brush so close against his own skin that he was sure Luna was actually killing him.
“Game set. Match to Luna.” Tune called out as suddenly Honored dropped to the ground gasping for breath.
“That was fun dear, you had me worried for a minute there.” Luna said happily as she skipped around the human who was crouched against the ground. “Honored?”
How could you think that you could come to this place and descend its depths? You are but a mortal with an ego problem. We eat those like you here for a living. You really want to challenge the ruler himself? Hey, thats on you, but no one here on this plane has been any further. You are going to realize that you are going to lose more of yourself to this journey than that which you will gain.
Look at yourself. Surrounding yourself with friends and allies. Armor and weapons because you can't protect yourself from the one thing that matters.
Yourself.
“AHHHH!” Honored screamed and fell backwards. The bright morning sun streamed through the bedroom window in Honored’s room. He quickly rolled out of the bed, silent as a cat, reaching under his nightstand and drawing a .45 pistol. The vision. It had been so vivid, so real. A human. He had talked to a human that was standing in a never ending green field that stretched for as far as the eye could see. Thousands upon thousands of creatures off all type strolled around the plains, humans, ponies, and so many more things that payed him no mind as Honored gawked at his surroundings.
This plane. What had that human meant? What was that vision? What was going on? He had been ‘play’ fighting with Luna. He had been destroying her when… that's right, she started singing and then. Well it was a blurred tumble of colors. And a human! He had talked to a human, but it wasn't a normal human, he spoke with a strange tone. What had happened to him?
“Honored are you up?” Luna, letting out a sigh of relief, stepped into the room and gave Honored a hug while nuzzling his neck. “You're okay. You've been sleeping for two days. What happened?” Luna asked, stepping back from the human.
Honored let out a short laugh, “I was hoping you would tell me.”
“My siren magic did something to you after I stopped the spell.” Luna still seemed concerned as the human placed the handgun back under the nightstand.
“Well it's a mystery my dear.” Honored said smiling at her. “Now we must begin final preparations for our little journey through the Underworld.”
Luna gave the human a heart felt smile. That was her human. Always recovering and ready to keep going. This was the being that she loved. She was about to march through the depths of the Underworld for him. And he was willing to fight a demon God to help her nation and gain immortality from his endeavours. He certainly was a special human.
“Now that you all have your gear and I think that you have the skills to make it through this mission, I will give you the go ahead on traveling with me through the portal and into the Underworld.” Honored marched in front of his gathered friends. Celestia looked to Discord who returned her deadpan expression.
“Oh Honored, you think you get to order us around? We got this.” Celestia scoffed and smiled sweetly at the human. “But thank you for wanting to be the leader.”
“But I…” Honored began before slumping his shoulder is defeat. “Okay whatever, just make sure we stick together once we are through.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “please, no matter what you see, hear, think, or anything else, we need to stick close regardless.”
A round of agreements rang out from the group of assembled would be warriors.
“One question though Honored.” Night Rose piped up from her side of the living room, “how is Tune going to fit into the study?”
Honored simply flashed a smile.
WHAM
The large section of pine floor flew through the air and landed in the front yard of Honored’s house. The human looked out of the giant hole in the side of his second story wall grinning like an idiot as Celestia, Luna, Discord, and Night Roses’ heads poked out around the jagged hole staring at the dropped portal rune.
“You could have just teleported it down there and only had the hole in the floor rather than floor and wall.” Luna pointed out as the human continued to stare at the dropped portal.
“Well fuck.”
Honored looked at himself in the mirror in his bedroom. He was wearing a combination of everything he had ever worn into battle while in Equestria. Well nothing was the original except for the armor. Everything else had been burned, shredded, ripped, eaten, or lost in the years he had been rampaging around the world. His blood stained and tattered digital Army uniform was far beyond saving so Honored had to figure out something new to wear under his armor. After an intense design session with Rarity, he had finally gotten what he wanted. And it only took three weeks.
A deep red longsleeve shirt covered his chest and arms where the deep black pants covered his legs ended at the utterly stained combat boots. Each of these new pieces of clothing had been woven by Rarity with ballistic kevlar fiber and then enchanted to resist stains. Honored then decided that was not enough and then enchanted it to resist spells and placed warding spells to resist physical damage. The under armor was light and provided greater mobility to the human. On top of that layer was his standard Equestrian Honor Guard armor that had served the warrior well. The scraped and dinged golden armor was placed and strapped around his legs and arms, leaving the joints open for mobility. Honored picked up the horribly stained and dirty armored chest rig and threw it over his head and secured it across his broad chest. While picking up magazines and adding them into pouches along the rig, Honored smiled as he watched his friends begin to get their gear ready for this, their final journey. The final quest.
And it was bound to be one hell of a wild ride.
“You going to be all set?” Luna asked as Honored checked himself over again for any missing magazines, ammo, weapons, and other military necessities.
“Yea, just promise me you'll be safe Luna.” Honored said with a serious face.
“Of course, if you do the same.” She added back to the human who only let out a deep sigh.
“You know that won't be possible for me.” He said sadly while stepping towards the dormant power armor just outside of the house. It was ready, still hardly scratched or damaged from its already heavy use.
“Just do everything to stay safe.”
Johnson turned and cupped her face in his hands. He looked at her with such devotion that Luna knew he had to return home safe. “You know I will love.” He gave her a light kiss and slowly stepped up to the armor.
With a ‘hiss’ the armor opened, lights along its edges coming to life while the leg vents opened and closed and the many magical runes ignited, flaring to life. Honored gave Luna another smile before stepping forward into armor and slipping his body into the suit. His hands found the slots for them and the armor began to close around him, swallowing him up like a large metal beast. The visor began to glow a light blue and the helmet mounted spotlight flickered to life and the went out, its test complete. Honored rolled all the joints in the armor and turned to face his armed and dangerous traveling companions.
“There's no shame in wanting to turn around. I won't hold it against any of y'all.” Honored spoke to them while pulling the weapon duffle bag he had loaded towards him and began to rummage through it, drawing out weapons and attaching them with clips and hooks onto spots along the armor. “It will be dangerous and I just don't want anything to happen to anyone.”
“Honored we know the risks and we are still going. I need to do something.” Celestia said while slinging her rifle and shotgun across her back. “Time to get back in the battle saddle.”
“Cause chaos for the Underworld? I’m not missing out.” Discord said, sliding a grenade into his launcher and spinning the cylinder for fun. “Might be able to save your human ass.”
“I also must accompany you to insure that you do not hurt yourself.” Tune’s robotic voice got louder as the robotic tank butler rolled around from the side of the house. “I have gone on nearly every adventure with you, why would I miss this one?”
“Alright I get it, You are all coming.” Honored said with a smile. “This is the most OP team the world has ever seen. Four insane magic users, a literal tank, and a stealth pat pony! This is going to be so awesome!”
“Now once we get down there, everything will be an unknown. Don't lose sight of this group, in fact no wandering off, we all go together. Trust nothing, only this group.” Honored said while walking around the group in his armor. He stopped and looked at his assembled friends. “Okay we can keep talking about this for days and run through all the ‘what ifs’ but I think it is time. We can do this.” He stuck his arm out and held it. “Let’s go kick some Underworld ass!”
“I’ll follow you.” Tune’s claw landed on Honored’s waiting fist.
“For Equestria.” Celestia added her hoof to the circle.
“For some much needed chaos.” Discord smiled laying in his claw.
“I kinda have to.” Night Rose sighed and added her hoof.
“For you, my love.” Luna gave Honored a quick peck on the cheek and added her hoof on top of the pile.
“WHOOHOO!” The group shouted as they threw their arms, hooves, and claws into the air.
The group walked calmly over to the portal rune and stood around the edges. Honored placed his left arm on a point of the rune and began feeding void magic into the tune. Celestia and Luna lowered their horns to the ground and poured magic into the rune causing it to glow brightly as sparks of ambient magic began to shoot off in random directions. Discord placed both his claw and paw on the rune and strange black and white static magic flowed into the rune. The light was blinding now as the four magical creatures dumped massive amounts of magic into the portal rune. The light began to waver and falter as the beings poured even more raw magical power into the rune.
“Almost there.” Grunted Honored as the sheer volume of magic continued to grow.
“That’s what-” Discord started to say before he was hit by a stray bolt of raw magic “-she said.” He coughed around a mouth full of smoke from the arc of magic.
“Just a little more!” Honored yelled out to the group. Rose and Tune continued to think happy thoughts as the light growing in the center of the rune exploded outwards, consuming the six beings gathered around the rune.
“IT WORKED!” Honored screamed as they all were pulled through the portal. The sensation of being stretched in every direction filled Honored, same as when he had traveled to Earth on his first portal trip.
The party of warriors yelled in pain, excitement, and fear as the traveled through the portal and towards the Underworld.
“Twilight did you read the letter from the Princess last night?” Spike asked aloud as he walked up the winding stairs towards the main room of the crystal castle library. He opened the door to find the alicorn asleep in a stack of books and ancient scrolls all with different aspects and ideas of the Underworld and Tartarus. He knew this because he had spent hours trying to track all of them down.
“I guess not.” He grumbled and slammed the door shut.
“Uhhh.” Twilight shot up looking around her. “I guess I stayed up a little too late.” She pondered to herself while moving her book turned pillow aside. “Oh!” Twilight gasped as she noticed that in her desperate attempt to learn more about the Underworld, she had forgotten to look at the letter from the Princess.
Princess Twilight,
As you know of Honored’s plans, he has seen fit to leave you in charge of his estate and belongings until our return from the Underworld. Since he sees you are fit to take care off all his weapons and personal belongings, Luna and myself are placing the running of Equestria and the solar and moon cycle in your care until we return. Please have Cadance assist you as I’m sure you have already stopped functioning and… You know what dear, I’ll write to her myself and have her come to you.
I know you’re going to do fine.
Much love from the Underworld,
Princess Celestia
P.S. We are launching the portal in the morning.
Twilight slowly turned her head to the side to see the sun was already in the middle of the sky. She looked back to the scroll and re-re-re-read it to confirm the order. She was now in control. A temporary ruler of. An. Entire. Naation.
She gulped and ran towards the door after realizing the constant banging she was hearing was not in her head. She opened the door to sigh in relief as her old foal sitter had already arrived.
“Now before you start worrying and panicking,” Princess Cadance said while leaning forward and giving Twilight a hug, “at least not until you give me a hug.”
Twilight returned the hug and sighed. “Thank you Cadance, you have no idea how badly i'm about to freak out.” Cadance laughed and closed the door behind her as she lead Twilight back into the castle.
“Not to worry Twilight! I’ll be right here to help you while Aunt Celestia and Luna are away.” Cadance had always known that Twilight could get… panic-y around unknown situations. But she was a master of calming her down. “Why are there all these books on the Underworld out?” Cadance knew Twilight loved books, but this was new.
“Oh these? I got a lot to catch you up on.”
“This is the Underworld?” Luna said looking around.
“It does seem a little to green. I imagined more fire, lava, and brimstone kind of deal.” I said looking around at the never ending fields of green grass. Small rolling hills dotted the land all around us as we looked around. Tune was cautiously rolling around us in a patrol pattern insuring we could be alerted. His cameras and scanning sensors provided the perfect look out for us. “Stay alert, I’ll look ahead a bit.”
I moved forward, leaving large imprints in the ground as my armored boots landed on each step with a solid ‘thud’. The ambient heat from my active magic runes on the legs singed and burned the grass on each step, giving me an easy way to follow back to the others. I raised my rifle up and held it at my shoulder and continued moving forward, scanning the area around us.
‘Maybe we got the portal wrong. This is nothing like the Hell.’
How could you think that you could come to this place and descend its depths? You are but a mortal with an ego problem. We eat those like you here for a living. You really want to challenge the ruler himself? Hey, thats on you, but no one here on this plane has been any further. You are going to realize that you are going to lose more of yourself to this journey than that which you will gain.
“Who’s there?!” I spun around as the voice spoke to me. That voice! It was the same one that had visited me after Luna’s song magic.
Look at yourself. Surrounding yourself with friends and allies. Armor and weapons because you can't protect yourself from the one thing that matters.
I quickly ran forwards towards a small hill in front of me. I could get a better vantage point from there and maybe spot who or what was talking to me. My armored legs worked perfectly, seemingly carrying me across the grassy plains with lightning speed. The slamming of boots rang out each step as I neared my destination.
Yourself.
I reached the hill painting, aiming my rifle at a transparent form of a human. He was smiling at me with a cocky grin while clasping his hands behind his back.
“Hello Johnson. Or Honored. Whatever you prefer.” The man said calmly while walking forward towards me and the loaded rifle in his face. “You have been expected, just not with the numbers you brought. That is going to cost you dearly in the future.” The man was now nearly touching the rifle, but still failed to seem even fazed by its presence.
“Who are you?” I asked, keeping the rifle leveled at the man.
“Oh excuse me!” He walked backwards quickly, if I had blinked I would have missed it, “Where are my manners. My name is…” He stopped moving and looked at me. “Well actually the name I had was lost to the sands of time as it were. Just call me Guide.”
“Okay Guide.” I said glaring at him through the helmet visor, “Where am I, and what are you?”
Guide moved back towards me and suddenly began to rise of the ground so he was now on level with me. “You are in Limbo and I’m a wayward lost spirit. Or demon depending on who you ask.”
Then I noticed that we were not alone. Just like the vision I had earlier, thousands upon thousands of creatures wandered the plane around us. Ponies, Humans, Griffons, Diamond Dogs, a few Dragons, nearly anything that had sentience on Equestria was here.
“Are they dead?” I asked, finally lowering the rifle from Guide’s direction.
“No they are just out for a leisurely stroll.” He groaned and leapt forward grabbing my helmet in his transparent hands and shook it. “Of course they’re dead! You’re in Limbo. When ‘ave you heard of wanting to take a vacay to this place!?”
“Okay let's get some ground rules and stuff established. Ye are now in Limbo. No, not permanently. Just until you use a spell or get him to send you back. You can only reach him by travelling to him, which will take quite a bit. But I reckon you got it in ya’.” Guide’s voice was constantly changing. British, southern, old english, and other faint traits could be heard as he constantly spoke. “Yea, my voice, just ignore it. It comes with the job.”
I raised my hand towards him, “And I’m getting to that part, not shut ya’ trap and listen to me. You got me here to help you navigate this place. In here there is no time. well a very small amount in here is a lot out there.. Now outside, back in the ‘real’ world a single moon is the equivalence of a fortnight.” He looked at me and lowered his head so that he was right beside me, “just between you an’ me, what’s a fortnight?” He whispered.
“It’s two weeks.” I said looking at my visor and willing a clock to appear with the magical spell matrix. It worked and still was keeping track of the time in the ‘real’ world. One day in this place, the day being recorded back outside, was in reality two weeks. Two weeks for everyday spent here. We would have to make some rapid movements. Good thing we had Tune for Night Rose to rest on.
“Great! Glad you knew that. It's been driving me bloody insane!” Guide shouted while floating in mid-air. “So my job as your escort through this world is to make sure you don't stray far. Normally I'm on demon duty, mainly causing beings frustration.”
“What?” I Asked staring at him in confusion.
“Okay how to make this understandable… You know when something’ happens and you mumble curses under your breath. You drop something and it rolls just perfectly under the couch. Or never being able to get the USB cable to go in on the first try. What's another good one… Losing your keys even though you just sat them down. Missing socks is a right ol’ classic. No parking spaces near the front. You get it? I’m the demon of that kinda stuff. Nothing too evil, just enough to make you angry and frustrated. The little things that may make someone just… snap.” He snapped his fingers and vanished only to reappear before me again but this time his generic human male look was gone.
Guide was now a deep crimson satyr, half man half goat. He had feathery white wings and two spiral mountain goat horns on his head and standard devil tail swinging beneath him. He smiled again and did a spin mid-air, “Yeah I know, gorgeous mate. But we gotta get movin here boy. Places to be, Gods to see am I right.” Guide flew down and grabbed my arm and started to move me along back the way I came.
“So all these creatures…?” I began, gesturing towards the wandering beings.
“All dead. Limbo, no heaven or hell for these sorry gits. And there are billions around you, even as we speak, but you can only see the ones that you have seen in your life. Humans only see humans, except for you, Equestria ruined that. But yes, there are what would be considered aliens here.”
“Are they covered in-” I started to ask, but was again cut off by Guide.
“Yup, lots of tentacles.” I shuddered as the demon laughed.
“Wait, if this is the middle ground between heaven and hell, then why are demons here.” I gestured to Guide and all his demon-ness.
“Oh there are angels too.” He smiled down at me while flapping his angelic like wings. “You just got assigned a demon to be your right hand man. And you won't be seeing anyone of them around. Besides, I won these wings from one of them in a bet. Very nice guy, just rotten luck.” Guide continued to float along beside me while we walked back to the group, following the boot prints left in the ground by my armored suit.
I looked up to the demon and cocked my head to the side. “So are you good or evil? A little of both?”
“Oh no, I’m evil, just not the slaughter and rape your dead body evil. Ah gone and told ya love that I’m that frustration inducing evil. Now as far as you should be concerned, I’m neutral to you. I’m not going to go out of my way to harm you or your group, but I’m also not going to do anything to help you. I simply am here to insure that you don't get lost and to get you to your goal. The Underworld is what you would know as an infinite plane. You would never explore it all before you lost sanity.”
Guide flipped onto his back and back stroked around me, “Now enough of this dark talk, introduce me to your friends!” He said as we dropped down from the hill we had meet on. I looked around in disbelief as the ground we had covered for the last ten minutes just vanished as if we had been talking beside the group to begin with.
CLICK
CHCRACK
SHING
CLICK CLICK
CLACKCLACK
Five different types of weapons were suddenly leveled at Guide. He slowly raised his hands over his horns and looked at me sideways, “Ahh I may ‘ave forgotten that you armed them. A lil’ help?” He asked.
“Guys, this is our demon acquaintance. Luna, Tune, Discord, Celestia, and Night Rose this is Guide. Guide meet the gang. He was assigned to assist us as. He’s a map essentially. That's all. He won't hurt us or help us other than to make sure that we reach where we are going without getting lost in the infinite never-ending plane that is the Underworld.” I said gesturing at Guide who sheepishly waved at the many different gun barrels aimed in his direction.
“Mornin’.” He smiled. The guns still remained focused on him.
“Honored dear,” Luna said quietly to the side, “a word please.”
I shrugged and walked over beside Luna who kept her machine gun leveled ahead. “Yes Luna?”
“He is a demon regardless of what he says, he is a demon for a reason, not a friend. Not an acquaintance. Not anything. We should not trust him at all. His directions could be laden with traps and lies.” Luna growled out while glaring at the red demon.
“He’s the only thing that has given me info about this place, and I agree, we don't trust him, just listen to what he says.”
“Ah can still hear you. I'm a demon, not deaf.” Guide said while crossing his arms across his bare chest. “Listen I get it, the whole demon thing. But I’m here as your guide, think of it like a tour through the Underworld. And I, I will be your Guide!”
“Come with me, follow me through the depths of Hell
Ill lead you there to your goal, sightseeing as well.
To the river Styx or the lake of lava
Boy y’all sure are gotta’
Listen to your Guide!"
A band of other demons, all in similar shape and make up of Guide appeared and began to play a varying assortment of instruments made of bones, flesh, and bloody organs. Guide suddenly was in front of the band wearing a sports coat and holding a microphone. He winked at me and leapt onto my shoulder, and began to dance around the armor.
"Want a nice stroll along the brimstone?
Stop for rest at the Garden of Bone,
I’ll be there to take you all the way!
Be warned don't go astray,
Listen to your Guide!"
Guide lept down and to the front of the band and began. He stopped and then began walking towards the group snapping his hand to the beat of the song while we all backed up from the singing demon. He pointed at Luna who was suddenly had all her military hardware replaced with a feathery showgirl outfit. I willed the armor’s spell matrix to begin recording.
"Listen to our Guide?
How certain you have lied,
You are a demon, a beast of sin
Rotten, dirty, sour as a drink of gin.
We would rather travel blind,
Then listen to our Guide!"
Luna looked around wildly as the ambient magic of song gripped her and she began to sing in the beautiful voice of hers. Her machine gun floated beside her, bobbing to the beat of the demon band while she spun around Guide. She looked at me in panic as suddenly I felt the similar tingling feeling of song magic. FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK
"Sure he's a demon, but what am I
I’m the Breytchar- King of Demons guy"
I jabbed a finger against Guide’s chest. He backed up and did a little bow before flying up and dropping a golden crown on my head.
"I’ve got the guts and the skills
To make good on this demon’s bills.
So let’s take a chance on this Jackle and Hyde,
And listennnnn to ourrrrr Guideeeeeeeee!"
I stopped singing and looked up to see that I was holding Guide outstretched in a raised hand over my head and he was posed with arms outstretched. He smiled and jumped into the air and flew around the group laughing before flying towards the demon band and quickly shooed them away. “Hey I gotta’ say it's been ages since I ‘ad to get the ol band back together. Thanks for that human.” Guide was still smiling like a madman as he came to a stop and dropped down beside me on his goat legs. “You know what, I like y’all. Y’all had some fun and even sang along, I reckon y’all can get a little help from your guide.”
“But doesn't that break some kind of demon code?” Discord asked swinging his grenade launcher across his shoulder.
“Well I mean it kinda does… But I’m a demon, stuff happens.” Guide shrugged his shoulders and began walking off in a random direction.
I looked to the group and nodded. They all nodded back except for Tune, he just spun his robotic claw. We slowly began to follow the demon. I followed close beside him while the others spanned out in a ‘V’ formation behind me with Tune going into the center of the group as his heavy weapons could cover every direction.
“So what do you mean a ‘little help’ Guide?” I asked, my rifle still at the low ready while we walked behind him.
“Maybe so more information. Maybe some helpful hints on the bosses. You never know!” He said with glee while sweeping his arms in a wide arch. “It has been at least a century since the last time I got to tour someone, they didn't make it to far.”
“What do you mean?” I asked him curious as to his references on tours.
“You think your group is the first to come here? Errrr wrong answer pony boy. Others have some before you, maybe not with your intention, but they came here. Some didn’t make it past Lust. Others made it to Greed but that's it.” Guide said counting off his fingers. “You got nine floors of the Underworld to go through to get to the big daddy. You are all currently on level one, Limbo. Nothing happens here, well except for the portals that drop of the unlucky few that come in search of something.”
“So each level is a different challenge?” I asked, looking at Guide and then back to my friends that accompanied me to the Underworld.
“Yup. Thing of them like a guard team of a prison. Each level is a different cell block.” He turned his head around with a sharp crack, “and you’re going all the way to maximum security.”
So that was the plan. We had to travel down eight more layers of the Underworld to reach Tartarus. Guide revealed our first challenge, but we had already completed it. Layer one, Limbo, was to convince your guide to take you to the second layer. The little song and dance number with Guide had swayed him more than enough to gain us entrance. Cell block two, according to Guide, was Lust.
And he promised to get us right to the entrance.
“Are you sure this is it?” I asked looking suspiciously at Guide. I was seriously starting to doubt the accuracy of the portal we took. So far we had dancing demons, a demon tourist guide, and now I was staring at the entrance to the second layer of the Underworld. Which was a deep rich purple building with an awning over the entrance and burly looking demon guard wearing a skin tight black shirt standing beside the door. Across the top of the building was THE BUSTY LUSTY LOUNGE in bright pink neon tube lighting.
“Of course I’m sure. Ya daft wanker.” Guide said, stopping and flying up closer to my visor. “Oh you mean how it looks like a strip club? The Underworld changes to fit the being traversing it.”
Luna gave a cough and glared at me and then to the strip club entrance. “Really Honored?”
“What? That was along time ago and stuff.” I mumbled as Celestia and Discord snickered at each other.
“Hey, don't take it out on him, Lust took this idea and ran with it. Suits her well.” Guide said flying up to my bulky shoulder armor and sitting on it. “Now just walk on up and listen to the bouncer.”
I did as I was told and walked towards the purple running rug that lead towards the entrance of the club. We all walked single file up to the bouncer.
“How’s it going Rex?” Guide said to the bouncer who grunted and puffed up his chest even more so.
“Not much, got a large group this time.” He said in a deep voice that made Luna, Celestia, and Night Rose shiver. It was one of those deep rich sexy voices. Oh God, this entire layer was going to be nothing but a sex feast. I looked back to Luna. Maybe that wouldn't be too bad.
“Welp, let him get started. He thinks he can make it to H.” Guide jerked his thumb towards me.
“Ha. Good Luck.” Rex grunted towards me. Then he leaned aside and looked at the mares that were in our group, “You ladies enjoy your time.” He added smoothly which caused another round of shivers and some tails to clamp down.
I rolled my eyes inside of my helmet and moved forward as the bouncer removed the velvet rope from in front of the door. I reached out and pushed against the swinging door and started down a long staircase down towards the second level.
“That was one hell of a show folks. Give it up for lovely Lashana.” The DJ said over the deep throbbing bass that slowly rocked the the club. Johnson stepped down off the flight of stairs and into the massive open room that was the second layer of the Underworld. Purple and pink lights covered the walls and ceilings as far as the eye could see. Different stages, loveseats, tables, and bars could be seen dotted along everywhere in the strip club.
Discord slid beside the armor clad human and elbowed him in the side, “I’m starting to like the Underworld.” He grinned as Celestia and Luna both joined the two and somehow Tune, being ridden by Night Rose, fit down the stairs and entered behind them.
“Well Guide, how do I meet this Lust?” Honored asked. “Guide?” He looked around to find that the red goat demon was already seated at the nearest stage with a drink in one hand, a smoking cigar in his mouth, and a wad of cash clenched in the other fist. Honored slapped a hand to his helmet and when he looked up he saw that Celestia had joined him, golden bits hovering beside her in her magical aurora.
“Sister!” Luna called out, getting Celestia to look back and blush.
“What? I can enjoy all forms of beauty.” She said while walking back to us adjusting her flack jacket and helmet. She stood by her sister who was still shaking her head.
“Okay so how do we find Lust?” Honored asked aloud. No one answered him. “Well let's start at the bar.” A round of agreements followed as the group, minus the demon guide, walked up to a bar. A woman with long straight black hair and black bat wings stood behind the counter. She had two pointy black horns sticking out from the sides of her head and a black snakes tail that would grab the glass she was cleaning and place it onto the shelf behind her.
“Hey. Welcome to the Busty Lusty. Names Kay. I like your wings.” She added gesturing towards Night Rose who blushed heavily. She quickly yanked her ballistic neck weav up to cover her reddening face. “What can I get you? What can help you indulge in?” She asked slyly while batting her eyes at the human and then giving Celestia a pair of bedroom eyes that had the princess panting like a dog.
“You.” Celestia mumbled while laying her head against the bar top and smiling. Kay gave a cute giggle before snaking out a long forked tongue and flicking the tip of Celestia’s horn.
“We lost her.” Discord said while looking around. Suddenly his eyes popped out of his head and his tongue dropped out of his mouth in an explosion of steam and a train whistle. Across from the bar, a pony that shared a scary similarity with a buttercream colored pegasus with a pink mane slowly walked onto the stage. She looked at Discord and gave a shy smile while ducking behind her own mane.
“And let’s give it up for the adorable Sexy Shy.” The DJ called out as a slow, easy going beat filled the strip club and the mare on the stage began to very timidly dip and weave to the beat before throwing her wings out and straddling a silver pole behind her.
Discord promptly toppled over and died on the spot while scooting closer towards the stage on his belly, his tail dragging his grenade launcher along with him.
“Well It looks like it is up to us.” Honored turned to find that Tune was gone. “Tune?” Honored looked back towards the entrance where he noticed the death tank butler was parked beside a jukebox that was in the shape of a slim lady figurer. Honored slapped both hands to his face. “God damn it Tune.”
“Okay Night Rose, just watch out back.” Honored said turning back to the bat pony but found that she was gone as well. “Rose?” Honored asked out and groaned. She was across the bar having three bat ponies, glistening with sweat, doing shots off her belly. “What the hell is going on?! Where is my elite force of fighters!” Honored yelled out, slamming his fist against the bar top, leaving splintered imprints. “Luna we have to find Lust before this lot is lost… Luna?” Honored’s voice caught as he found Luna staring across the room towards one of the many stages. “Luna?” He choked out, but she was already lost.
She was moving straight towards a unicorn stallion that was the size of Shining Armor. He was decked out in all black armor that sparkled like the very stars in Luna’s mane. His smile was one that Honored knew all too well, because it was the same smile he wore whenever he saw his princess of the night. That stallion loved Luna.
And Luna wore the smile as well.
“No.” Honored gasped out as he started walking towards Luna, but something caught his armor. He turned down and saw Guide staring at him with serious eyes. He pulled the fully armored human down to his level and whispered to him. The whisper was so soft he almost didn't hear it over the loud music and the hollering of the many patriots of the club that suddenly appeared.
“Nothing is as it seems.”
Honored stood back up to his full height and looked around. The many types of creatures he had seen in Limbo where gathered here as well. Seconds ago they were cheering and moaning at the sex and indulgences that were being presented before them, now they all were dying. Being thrashed wildly back and forth by burly demons like the bouncer outside. A howling wind blew through the crowd and knocked them all to the ground, Honored being the only thing to not fall and topple over.
“So he is able to resist my charms and decadence.” A voice that was a smooth as honey and as rich as chocolate called out. Honored found himself face to face with a woman that was cute. There was something about her. She was cute, not stunning, not drop dead gorgeous, but she was cute. It was like the girl next door. The one that was always there but always dating the guy named Chad. She was everything you wanted, but never could get. She was the very essence of something anyone would Lust over, but never get, having just slip out of reach.
To Honored, she was six out of ten.
“Yes, now I’m here looking for Lust, I need to get to the next level.” Honored said with an even tone. He looked at Luna who was still being toppled around by the breeze, but smiling like she was looking at the stallion form before.
“Oh I see, nothing Lust did would work because you already had her.” The girl laughed and tossed her head back letting out a laugh that would have driven even the most faithful lover to adultery.
“It’s so strange,” the stranger said giving the armor covered human a head to toe look over, “that here you are, immune to Lust’s charms and yet the very one you want is pining over some mysterious stallion.” The girl slowly traced a finger along the edge of Honored’s metal arm. “Don't you want to know who that is?”
“No.” Honored said, but even his robotic sounding voice couldn't convince himself.
“Well his name is Rising Moon and he was the captain of Luna’s Night Guard before her turning into Nightmare Moon. He then died at the hands of Solar Guards in the fight between Luna and Celestia. A nobel, but pointless death. And it would seem that our dear Luna here is still in love with him.”
“Wrong.” Honored said coldly while tightening the grip on his trusty rifle. “She is in lusting over him.” He then cocked his head, “And why wouldn't she, look at him, he’s hot.” Honored laughed and then took a step back from the strange woman. “She is over a thousand years old, I expected her to have past flings and lovers. It matters not to me so long as I have her love, and I do know that. So now the real issue at hand, is how do I get you to let me down to the next level Lust?” Honored asked staring at the woman before toggling on the helmet mounted light and shining it her face.
“Well it was fun while it lasted.” She laughed again, this time a dark evil laugh before launching herself into the air and floating before the human. Red flames danced along her pale skin as she spun in a circle, the clothes and skin melting off of her like wax. A perfect hourglass figured demon with deep red skin and long flowing red hair faced down towards the warrior. She was glad in a deep shiny red dress that sparkled like a thousand blood diamonds trapped in a sunset’s light. Her golden eyes stared at him lustfully, “You’re the first one to actually resist me directly. You will be fun to break. Maybe I’ll allow you to keep your free will while I use you as my little toy.”
Honored took a wide defensive stance and aimed his rifle, “Well I should warn you, I'm not meant for playing with.” He grinned through his helmet at the flying succubus as she roared and dove down towards him. He swiveled to the side and lashed out with his rifle butt intending to catch the high powered demon with it. She spun to the side and kicked both feet out, contacting Johnson’s chest piece.
BAM
The kick did what so many others had failed to do; it sent the human flying across the infinite strip club and into one of the many bars. Honored struggled to his feet and cracked his neck. He banged on the side of the helmet with his fist before shaking off. He reached down and snagged a random bottle from the impact crater and hurled it straight into the oncoming demon’s face.
SMASH
Burning liquor and shards of glass covered Lust’s face. She spiraled down and slammed into the ground, coming to a halt beside Honored. He moved fast, enhanced by the suit’s magic, and landed on top of the still recovering demon seducer. He slammed the butt of his rifle into her face before grabbing her head in his left hand and holding it steady. He then reared back with his right arm, still clutching the rifle, and drove the barrel straight into her screaming mouth. Lust’s eyes bulged out of her head as she gagged around the weapon’s barrel.
“Now before I give you the mother of all money shots, tell me how to get to the next level!” Honored roared down at the struggling demon. She quickly stopped moving and gave the slightest nods which was faint, considering the rifle jammed in her mouth.
Honored retracted the weapon and placed it against her forehead. “Speak demon.” He commanded.
“I have to allow you exit.” She said with disgust as she worked her jaw. “And I think I may just not take you to it out of spite.” She spat at Honored which caused him to press the barrel down harder against her forehead.
“Yo Lust, he got you pinned already?” Guide said hovering over to where the human still had the demon crushed beneath his armor, “What are you going to do when he kills you and gains access to the exit?” Lust’s eyes got wide as she quickly looked up to Honored who was smirking within his helmet.
“Oh really?” Honored said with a chuckle, “So killing the one in charge of a level allows me exit if they refuse to take me to it.” Honored said aloud.
“Oh no, that’s the only way to get to the next level. I told ya’ Johnson. That's a Guard.” He pointed to the glaring Lust. “Cell block.” He swept his arms around him at the strip club. “Another guard will come eventually, but you’ll be in the next level by then.”
“What are you doing Guide!?” Lust hissed at the floating demon. “You’re helping a mortal. Don’t let me apart of your-”
“Demon… duh…” He said cutting Lust off. “And honestly, after millenias of the same old same old, a lil’ change won't hurt a right bit.” He laughed as Honored tightened the grip on the rifle and looked back down to Lust.
“I did warn you. I don't play well.”
BANG
Deep in the bowels of the Underworld, an ancient being felt a sensation he hadn't felt in over thousands of years. It was the feeling of a gnat biting one’s skin. A minor hindrance to one’s comfort. A small annoyance that causes one to grimace at the feeling.
Hades grunted and looked at the cage beside him. The mammoth three headed dog growled up at its master.
“Go. Patrol.” He commanded with a calm, even voice that commanded the trapped souls around the room to shiver.
Even the smallest of gnats could pass deadly diseases.
“Holy… good God above almighty that was dark.” Guide said staring at the blown apart head of Lust. “And I’m a damn demon.” I stood up from the quivering body and looked around. My friends that had been controlled by undesirable urges of lust slowly came back to reality and wandered towards me.
“So you're really going to help me?” I looked to Guide who gave one nod. “Thank you. Sorry for doubting you.”
“Ahhh forget about it.” He waved me off, “I’m a red, horn growing, heart breaking, frustration inducing, demon.”
“Honored what has happened?” Luna asked in slightly confused voice as she approached me. The others all looked at me as the still wet demon blood dripped off the front of my armor.
“Y’all all got brainwashed by Lust,” I gestured at the dead body, “and I stopped her. Bullets work here. And demons aren't bulletproof.” I smirked and wiped a large chunk of red skull from the end of my M16. A bright light suddenly caught my eye and the others shielded their eyes from it. A door behind the bar opened, flooding the room with bright light.
“That's the way out friends, lets get a move on. Level three here we come!” I pumped my fist into the air and began walking towards the exit. I stopped at the door and waved the others through. Luna was the last through the door. As she passed me she stopped. She looked into my visor and sighed.
“I’m sorry Honored. I don't know what happened here after Celestia went down, but I know that you did this one by yourself. I am sorry for that.” She hung her head. I reached out and lifted her head up with my hand.
“You only missed some sweet one liners.”
She gave a light giggle, and headed out the door. I looked back at the body of Lust and walked over to it. Reaching down, I ripped off a part of the shiny red dress she had on. I looked at it and tucked it away into a small storage section on the armor’s leg. “This will make a fine addition to my collection.” I looked towards the door and walked into the bright light that consumed my vision.
“Oh by the Gods above.” Celestia said, sweeping her rifle and shotgun in front of her. “What is this place?”
“What y’all got here is the third layer of the Underworld.” Guide said, flying in front of the party. “This realm is guarded by Glutton. He’s a right mean ol’ son of a bitch and is pretty hungry. So my helpful advice, stay out of his mouth. He can’t resist a taste of the unknown.”
Honored looked around and noticed that groups of creatures, just like the other two realms covered the area. Except rather than moving around, these beings were chained to the ground around tables. They couldn’t move at all and sat staring at tables laden with mountains of steaming food. Towers of pizza, hamburgers, ice cream, turkeys, roasted hams, spiced chicken, boiled fish, vegetable plates covered in fine glaze, anything you could think of covered the tables all around the entire area.
Honored watched as a man in his thirties looked away from the food at nothing, the look of a man who had given up. As he did, a demon dressed as a waiter from a five star restaurant walked over and grabbed his head. The demon forced his mouth open and ran a small sliver of meat across his tongue. The man jerked wildly trying to bite the food, but was unable to catch the morsel of meat. He went back to staring at the pile of food, longing for another taste of the food.
“Okay, I take back what I said.” Discord said looking in disgust at the actions going around them. “I am not liking the Underworld.”
“I miss the stallions doing shots of my belly.” Night Rose said while watching a griffon chained to the ground go through the same ritual as all the others to keep them focused on the food just out of reach.
“Who dares enter my banquet hall?!” A loud booming voice filled the massive room. The group turned to see a mountain of fat rolling towards them. What was a mountain of fat, was really a giant cyclopes that was layered in rolls upon rolls of fat. This big fat demon wore only a strip of cloth to cover what was really just another roll of fat on his waist. Beside him on either side of his head was a demon holding a tray of food. Every other second, the demon would drop a type of food into the open mouth of the cyclopes.
“Ewww.” Luna whispered to Tune who bobbed his robotic claw up and down.
“You have entered my domain, and as ruler and host here, it is my decision to condemn you to forever attendance of my feast!” Glutton shouted, chunks of chewed food and droplets of spittle rained down around the determined warriors.
“Oh Gods, I'm going to be sick.’” Celestia said groaning as she pulled a wishbone from her mane.
Three waiter demons jumped forward from behind a mountain of french fries, intending to snatch Night Rose up. They each held massive butcher knives in their red hands and swung them around them wildly as she blocked and dodged their attacks with her own blades.
“What are y’all doing?!” Honored shouted, shouldering his rifle, “Open up, shoot them!”
And the barrage of bullets following his order pushed the new wave of knife wielding demon waiters back. They took cover behind barricades of food as the bullets sunk into the platters.
“Bullets like Olive Garden breadsticks- never ending!” Honored giggled madly as he dove forward, driving his armored fist into a demon’s face, caving it in with a sickening squelch. He aimed the rifle from his hip and began to fire of single shots with perfect precision into the oncoming demons’ skulls. They bodies began to pile up as Glutton looked on in anger, food still being dropped into his awaiting mouth.
Luna swooped low, her machine gun rattling off a deadly barrage bullets that ripped into several demons that had gotten dangerously close to Night Rose’s back side. She jumped backwards and into the air with her six clear and landed onto a demon’s shoulders and drove her hoof blades into its neck, sending its head flying. She began repeating the process as demons tried to avoid her lethal jumps.
BLOOP
BLOOP
BLOOP
BANG
BANG
BANG
Discord was laughing wildly while lazily flying over the chaos strewn banquet hall, firing a grenade once too many demons gathered in a group. The group of would be attackers would then be turned into a collection of household items. A giant pile of lightbulbs showed were the most recent group had been destroyed.
Celestia stood against my back, her sawed off shotgun and old Vietnam era M16 barked in time with each other as she dropped demon after demon. “Oh this is so relaxing.” She added to the human in a momentary lull in the battle. She was sick of never helping when evil invaded her nation, but now she was bringing the hurt to evil’s doorstep. She magically pulled several shotgun shells out of one of her pouches and fed them into the shotgun’s tube. She enjoyed using her solar spear and sword, but something about these human weapons just brought out a more primal, a more intense desire to fight. The M16 let fly another round the impacted a demon right in between his horns. He loudly squealed while keeling over into another dead demon missing half his chest from one devastating slug. She felt safe in the middle of the battlefield because everytime she moved, she felt the mass of metal behind her move with her. Honored was the greatest fighter she had ever seen, he even rivaled Luna and herself; and now with that suit, he was unstoppable. She knew she needed not worry about her rear with Honored watching her six and Luna flying above them, they had created a three hundred sixty area of pure devastation.
Tune had yet to move from the entrance of the banquet hall. He simply utilized his auto tracking onboard computer and pinpointed single .50cal rounds from across the room at demons that even began to take a micrometer move towards him. The 240 machine gun mounted beneath the 50 had yet to fire as he had decided to conserve ammo for the mass rush of demons that was sure to come as the group to his direct left had begun to grow. He had yet to fire there, to allow them to think he was unable to swivel his main weapon system that way. The lead demon, holding two knives moved his foot forward.
ERRRR
Tune’s main turret spun rapidly to the left.
BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT
The long burst from the 240 decimated the group. Just for safe measure, and to show off, Tune launched a 40mm grenade from his secondary turret over the tables and into the pile of dead bodies.
“Show off!” Honored yelled as a thick paste of sticky red demon blood coated his front.
Honored wiped a hand across his visor and cleared the red from his vision. Suddenly the room shook as Glutton took a step towards the group of fighters.
“Shit.” Honored said, reaching behind him hooking an arm around Celestia’s neck. He activated his thrusters and rocketed to the side yanking Celestia with him as a table, thrown by the fat God, slammed into the spot they had just been.
“Okay so he has muscles under all that fat.” Honored groaned. He aimed his rifle as he flew and unleashed a quick burst of rounds at Glutton’s neck. Honored watched in silent horror as the bullets struck true to their mark, but the sheer volume of fat stopped the bullets from going in deep enough to do any damage.
“Well that certainly makes things harder.” Honored groaned and landed, placing Celestia down beside Tune and Luna joined them while Discord and Night Rose hovered overhead looking for any demons brave enough to try and attack the group. Most of them had fallen back as their master joined the fight.
“My weapon is unable to do anything to him as well.” Luna said looking down at the floating machine gun.
“If your’s can't, then I'm sure I can't either.” Celestia said with a sigh. She dropped the empty magazine and loaded a fresh one into her rifle. “But I have an idea.” She said with a grin. “Honored, I need you to distract him for a few minutes.”
“On it.” Honored said while running towards the slow moving giant. He leapt into the air and began to fly around the moving mountain of flesh.
“Tune, what missiles do you have equipped?” She asked looking to the robotic defense weapon system.
“High explosive and white phosphorus.” The robotic voice said, opening up the two missile pods on the back of his chassis.
“Perfect.” Celestia said while slowly sliding one out of the launch tube and began to get to work.
“RRRRAAAHHHH!” Glutton roared and swatted a fat arm at me. I zoomed up while increasing the thruster’s flame and scorched his raised arm. This caused him to yell even more and spray the area with spittle. He then glared at me and opened his mouth. A strange gurgling noise began to come from him.
“Oh you better not.” I said while aiming the rifle into his open gullet.
BARFFFFFF
“OH FUCK!” I yelled trying to zip around the incoming stream of bile and throw up. The green slime arched through the air and landed all over the ground and tables, covering food and chained creatures in all. Slowly the things hit by the smelly toxic vile vomit started to melt and turn into puddles along the ground.
“What the absolute fuck.” I now began to fly straight at Glutton who seemed to need a moment to rest after that attack. I spun around midair and slammed my feet into his head while rocketing my thrusters out and burning him at the same time I hit him. The giant demon of fat and flesh stumbled briefly before toppling backwards, crushing everything beneath him.
“Honored!” I turned to see Celestia flying towards me with… a four foot long banana held underneath her in her hooves. “Get clear!” She yelled. I moved back past her and killed my magical thruster and dropped to the ground. She flew towards the demon and stopped over his head.
“Glutton? Do you like bananas?” She dropped the oddly shaped banana into his awaiting mouth. He swallowed and then rolled over and began to get up, which was proving to be a struggle for the obese demon god.
“Now Tune!” She turned and sped away from the demon while Tune activated the white phosphorus missile.
BOOM
Glutton stumbled forward as his inside bulged out to ungodly proportions. He opened his mouth to scream, but only smoke poured out of mouth. He fell forward, his body beginning to steam and smoke as the missile's payload did its job.
Burn.
I waved the group on towards a door that opened behind the burning body of fat. Even the filters on my suit were having a hard time getting the stench out of my air. I could only imagine what they were dealing with. All the waiter demons moved away from us in pure fear as we moved towards the door and rushed through it, eager to escape that layer of the Underworld. I looked at the burning corpse and shuddered, I reached out and snagged a piece of the disgusting loincloth that had yet to be burned off of Glutton’s corpse. I pulled out the sparkling cloth from Lust’s dress and using a quick burst of void magic, I fused the two pieces together. Using a small bit of red rope I fashioned the single piece of fabric onto the right shoulder piece of armor. A small cape was beginning to form. “Hmmph.” I said looking at the small part of a shoulder cape. It’ll have to do for now.
I stepped through the open door way and into the next layer, starting to question the sanity of the mission, and what other horrors we would face.
Hades stood up from his throne in the center of his domain. All around him the cages of thousands of beasts, creatures, and demons rattled with anger as he raised to his maximum height. That feeling of a gnat once again pestered the Lord demon king as he looked around himself to insure nothing was out of place in his realm. He was the master of this realm, and the only demon God allowed to release and capture those deemed unworthy by the powers on high.
But this feeling was something that he was not used to.
Hades did not like it.
“That was… well it was something else.” Guide said trailing behind our group a little ways. Ever since the group had left the banquet hall of Hell, Guide had been a little reserved from them. He stayed back a ways, giving Honored and Celesti a wide berth. Guide felt that two beings that killed two low level demon Gods and many of their minions were bad news. But even more of a reason to stay on their good side. At least until it was his time. “You all lovely gits sure mean business. I guess you really want to reach the boss behind it all.”
“You know it.” Honored said turning around to look at the demon who was floating behind Tune. “What can you tell us about this realm?” Honored asked looking around the group. They were walking around a desert landscape. Only sad and rocks as far as the eye could see. Except that there were holes everywhere dug into the earth.
“This is Greed’s realm. He doesn't really like to share as you can imagine.” Guide said slowly flying closer to the human. “He rules this place along with his demons. They hoard and save everything they can.”
“Well where is he?” Celestia asked peering around the desolate landscape.
“There.” Tune said aiming his robotic claw.
A massive wall, crafted of giant slabs of stone towered a hundred feet into the sky. All along the top of the wall the group could see demons moving along, looking down at the small group.
“Where are all the damned creatures?” Luna asked, “There has been many in the last realms.”
“Behind his wall.” Guide said pointing at the wall.
“Let's get through then.” Honored said slinging his rifle across his back and letting it rest on his side. No doors or windows of any type along the wall. That meant only three options. Over the wall. Under the wall. Or through it.
“What are waiting for?” Discord said, flexing his wings, “Let's get up there and rain down firepower!” He spun his grenade launcher and jumped into the sky.
“Hold on.” Honored said, pointing up at the guards patrolling across the top of the tower, “They are going to spot us easily if we just fly directly at them.” Honored rubbed his armored hand against the chin of his helmet, “I’ve got a better idea.”
“Is this going to hold?” I asked Luna who grunted in a quick response.
“It will if you stop squirming!” Celestia groaned as I rode on her back. Celestia was carrying me on her back next to Luna who had Discord draped across hers. Night Rose was on his back and Tune was waiting down below at the base of the wall. Using Luna’s amazing ability at alteration magic, she casted an invisible blanket around us that allowed us to sneak up to the wall without being noticed. Now we were flying up along the side of the wall under the same veil of invisibility. The closer we were together, the longer Luna would be able to cast the spell. Tune would have to wait out the first part of the plan at the base of the wall. Then I could teleport him up onto the other side of the wall.
“Once at the top, drop it, and we can fight our way down. OR maybe the guards won't be violent.” I said with a chuckle.
“Why did you make this armor so darn heavy?” Celestia asked struggling up the last few feet towards the top of the wall.
“Because I am going to fight a God.” I said as we crested the wall and landed with a series of heavy thuds that caused the closest guards to stop and turn. These demons wore white shirts with blue pants, both of which looked rather nice, made out of fine materials. The wielded an assortment of swords, spears, and crossbows.
The invisibility spell died down and the guards all stopped and stared at us.
“Take me to Greed.” I commanded to the group of wall guards that began to raise their weapons. “NOW.” I stated louder, turning so that my right side, the one with the small shoulder cape made of cloth from Lust and Glutton showed. The wall guards took a small step back and lowered their weapons. One guard turned and headed towards steps along the wall that lead down along the inside of the wall. I nodded and motioned for the group to follow me with Discord bringing up the rear as we followed the demon down the stairs.
That is when we got to see what Greed was hiding behind his wall.
The creatures of Greed’s realm toiled nonstop under the never setting sun. The moved giant mounds of gold, silver, bronze, platinum, and other precious metals around the entire plot of land that was never ending inside of the wall. Others pulled carts filled with piles and piles of gems and precious stones. Creatures as far as the eye could see were toiling away nonstop just moving these massive amounts of things around. Once they reached a demon guard, the guard would then whip them, sending them back they way they came, repeating the process all over again.
“They are slaves!” Luna exclaimed as she watched a new batch of creatures begin moving a cart landed with a towering amount of lumber.
“They are workers that toil over what the hold precious; material wealth.” A new voice that carried an air of royalty with it said. We turned to see another demon God of the Underworld. Guide flew up towards the demon and gave him a bow.
“‘Ello Greed! Long time no see. How goes the collection?” Guide asked turning and smiling to us. He winked and faced back to Greed. Greed stood over me, at least eight feet tall and like all the other demons, had a light red skin tone. He stood on two legs but unlike the previous demons, he had four arms, all of which were covered in dark black metal going all the way up to the joints connecting to his torso. He wore black pants and his chest was bare, showing off a very defined set of muscles covering his body. Along his back, draped across his shoulders and trailing down the back of his knees was a deep, rich, royal purple robe with a fringe of mixed animal skins.
I stared at the robe and licked my lips, “Oh boy, I want a piece of that.” I mumbled to myself. That would look good on my growing shoulder cape.
“Why have you come to this, my realm?” Greed asked, spanning his arms and gesturing to the massive area around him. “My charges toil away after what the sought after most. Worthless materials that now shackle them to this realm. So close to getting what they want, that wealth which they seek, and yet denied it and the holy land above.” Greed smiled and looked away from us towards a giant stack of lumber in a corner.
I realized that all the holes that covered the landscape outside of Greed’s walls had been where trees had been. His want for things, to hold and covet, had stripped this realm of everything. I stepped forward and squared off against my third demon God being. “We are seeking passage through your realm, to the next realm beyond.” I stood tall and strong, trying to make Greed understand the seriousness of my request.
Greed threw his head back and laughed deeply. “You have spirit, I like that.” He then looked down at me and grinned evilly, “I’ll allow you passage, in exchange for something.”
“A trade?” Celestia asked still holding her shotgun tightly to her side, ready to fight. She must have the same leader sense I had. Something felt off here, something very wrong. I lowered my hand slowly so that it rested on one of my pistols strapped to a section of leg armor.
“I want her.” He said pointing a lower hand at Luna who looked shocked.
“No deal.” I said defensively and stepped in front of her, hand still resting against on the pistol, “We pass through without giving you trouble, and move into the next realm. I know that you have the ability to do so,” I looked over his shoulder to Guide who nodded in confirmation, “Or we can kill you and move on through your dying existence.” I faced him down, my face grime inside of my helmet. I knew nothing about his fighting skills, other than Guide told me he was one of the few demon rulers of the realms that could allow beings through without death.
“You are challenging me mortal?” Greed scowled at me and crouched down to my level so that his face was nearly pressed against my visor. “You challenge a demon God to a fight?”
“I did with two already.” I spat back and turned just enough so that the shoulder cape could be seen hanging from my shoulder armor. “I’ll kill you too if I have too.”
I suddenly became very aware of the amount of guards that had slowly surrounded around our group. Greed had distracted us and allowed his forces to get the jump on us. He had no plans on letting us through or trading with us, he wanted everything we had. He was Greed after all. I quickly slammed my palm to the ground, the teleporting spell yanking Tune to our posistion.
“Everyone under Tune! Tune activate FSU!” I screamed and dove towards the robot who lifted himself on his wheels and raised his body up three feet from the ground. Luna, Celestia, Discord, and Night Rose all followed me and jumped under the robot, making the space under him extremely tight.
“What’s FSU?” Luna yelled as the army of demons around us closed in lead by Greed.
“Fuck shit up!” I grinned as Tune activated his 360 degree anti-missile/anti-personnel defense system. The twenty-four separate ceramic tile plates, filled with thousands upon thousands of steel ball bearings angled to fire in every direction to defeat incoming airborne missiles or in extreme massive attacks from ground troops. All the plates exploded at once, propelling the ball bearing out covering every direction like a 360 degree shotgun.
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM
The air was filled with the screaming of ball bearings flying through the air and the sound of thousands of impacts as they smashed into the wall of demon flesh. Soon the sound of bodies hitting the ground echoed through the realm as the demon guards dropped from instant killing blows delivered by the ball bearings or wounding shots that forced them to the ground.
Tune lifted back up, and I crawled out, IMI Desert Eagle .50AE clutched in my armored hand. A demon in front of me struggled to the side, his short sword still held in his bloody hand. I leveled the deagle and pulled the trigger, sending the massive slug into the demon’s chest, knocking it back to the ground. As I pulled myself up, Luna and Celestia also crawled out from under Tune’s body. They stared in amazement at the absolute carnage that Tune had wrought to the enemy.
Over a hundred dead or wounded guards covered the ground all around Tune. I walked through the mass of bodies, firing a round every now and again into a still living demon. Total war. No mercy for the ones that had just wanted to kill us. And besides, they were demons. Did they really die?
“Guide, why has the door not appeared?” I asked turning to find Greed standing atop of Tune with Luna, Discord, Celestia and Night Rose held at their necks in each different hand. He was caked in a layer of bloody mud and wore a grim expression that radiated hatred. “Drop them. Now.” I commanded, aiming the heavy pistol at the demon’s chest.
“You hurt me, and I will-”
BANG
The hand cannon fired the final round in its magazine before locking the slide to the rear. I spun the handgun around my trigger finger while tossing another magazine of the powerful .50AE rounds into the air and catching it in the still spinning handgun. I held it up and flipped the slide catch loading the round into the chamber. With the weapon rearmed, I dropped it back into its holster on my leg and walked over to my friends and the dead demon god of the realm.
“Are y’all okay?” I asked, stepping around the fallen demon’s legs and extending a hand to Luna who was still gasping for air from the crushing grip that had been around her neck.
“Yes. Thank you dear.” She said with a sad smile while she found her machine gun and reattach the metal feeding mechanism into its side.
Celestia stood up, eyes blazing in anger, “You idiot! What if he had a dead man’s switch that when he died killed us as well? Do you even think when you just twirl your guns and shoot bad guys?!” Celestia was positively fuming.
“But he didn't. I know he didn’t because of him.” I pointed in the air where Guide was still floating behind the dead demon god. He held two signs, one in each hand, one reading SHOOT! And DON’T SHOOT! Celestia did a double take and then from the demon, to my gun, then up to me.
“You knew.” She asked looking up to the helpful demon, “How?”
“Well easily, he uses his hands for matter manipulation, and since all his hands were full,” He held up the SHOOT! sign and ginned, “And you are all a great bit of fun. Best fun I’ve hand in a thousand years. I’ll make y’all last as long as I can to keep this going.”
Celestia gave me a bashful smile and walked besides Luna. Discord grumbled under his breath as he walked by me. I guess he was waiting for his turn to save the day.
Night Rose on the other hand was looking very upset. He neck armor had held, but I can tell she was visibly shaken from the death grasp Greed had put on her. “It’ll be okay Rose, were are almost done, just hang in there a bit longer. Stay with Tune and watch his back. I don't like how Greed got ontop of him.” I said patting her back.
A bright light filled my visor and I saw the door to the next realm opened. I watched the two alicorns pass through and then turned down to the dead demon. I swung out my void blade and sliced off a section of Greed’s purple robe. I magically attached it to the two other gathered trophies. Three down, a few more to go. I retracted the void blade and walked towards the door, Tune rolling behind me with Night Rose watching our six.
“How does she put up with this?!” Twilight groaned and slammed her head against the side of the throne. It was nearing the middle of the night and she still was having trouble getting the moon just right. The darn space rock was just sitting on the horizon and refused to move to the center of the sky. No matter how hard she tried to will it, it just sat there, taunting her. Mocking her.
“Errrrrrr!” Twilight ground her teeth together as her magic reached out into the great celestial void and found the moon magic link. She began to tug it back into the sky, watching with delighted glee as the moon rose to its apex, wiggling the entire way. Finally it sat in the sky, dimly illuminating the landscape below the castle balcony.
“Whew.” Twilight blew out the breath she had been holding in as she eyed her work. She had just moved the moon! She had moved the moon!
The young alicorn began jumping around in a circle squealing happily. She was so caught up in her celebration, she didn't notice the other alicorn slowly sneaking out of the balcony door with a camera.
“Oh this is too cute.” Cadance said snapping a few shots of the excited alicorn. “Celestia is going to eat these up.” She snickered while exiting the balcony and heading back towards her room. She would raise the sun in the morning, Twilight was going to have to get some rest before she took her turn at the afternoon session of the day court.
That was when the tax committees would show up.
“Oh the places you’ll go!” The human said happily as the group moved along the edge of a marshy river. The river was as black as night and a foul smell wafted from the marsh along its edge. “Come to Equestria, fight baddies, save the indigenous population, travel the world, and go to Hell literally.”
“Okay this realm is guarded by Anger. Nice guy, once you get past the whole demon of anger and destruction.’ Guide said from atop the human’s right shoulder. He was staring at the shoulder cape that now was made of three pieces of demon God’s clothes and running his hands along it. He kept looking at it, and wiping away a bead of sweat every so often. “Just remain calm, and you’ll be out of here in no time!” He smiled, but his smile was off, it wasn't like the other ones he had wore before.
“What’s the gameplan for this God?” Discord said flying over the the human, and resting his head on the human’s left shoulder, “Go in wild style?” He flipped around, aiming his grenade launcher towards the river.
“I don’t know, each one of these Gods is something different. So far nothing has been straightforward. I’m kind missing that.” Honored said with a grunt. The wet and spongy land was making it harder for the armored covered human to walk along the ground. Even when he tried riding on Tune, the armor’s weight caused Tune to sink deeper into the ground to where his wheels failed to gain traction.
“Stop.” Guide said while pointing to a large barge that was tied up at a dock on the black river. “This is the boat to cross, we gotta go over the river and then to the other side.” The party looked around. A boat in the middle of nothing… No cover. No concealment. This whole thing screamed shitty.
“Okay here's the plan, we all get on, Tune in the center to cover air and anywhere as needed. I’ll get the front. Celestia and Luna get left and right side. Dizzy and Rose get the rear.” Honored issued out his commands and sent his friends to their spots on the barge. They would have eyes on every side at least now, so if anything decided to show its face, they would be ready for it.
“Anger really doesn't take kindly to mortals… and actually you all ‘ave got to be the first to make it this far.” Guide said while reaching out and flicking the rope off the barge. “Good luck.” He called out from the end of the dock.
“Wait you're not coming?” Discord shouted back at the demon that was growing smaller and smaller as the barge drifted towards the middle of the river.
“Oh no, I don't plan on getting on his bad side.”
“Oh fuck me.” Honored groaned while looking forward towards the opposite bank of the river. A massive arena loomed on the horizon. A sign mounted atop of the ancient Roman style arena flashed in bright colors.
MORTAL JOHNSON TAKES ON ANGER
FIGHT OF THE MILLENIA
WELCOME TO THE USDA
UNDERWORLD SMACKDOWN ARENA
Honored swallowed his nervousness and looked at the arena. Looks like the ‘see how it goes’ option just went bottom’s up. Plan B.
Time to get WWE in this bitch.