The Great And Powerful Class Clown

by BudCharles


Thursdays

It had been an ordinary, if stressful, day for Twilight, though ordinary for her was extraordinary for any other pony. In the course of one day, she’d been from Ponyville to Canterlot to the Crystal Empire and back. She’d also signed off on the finalised versions of two new royal decrees, one regarding a new train line to Griffonstone and the other regarding a budget increase for the Department of the Natural Environment and Animal Care.
 
This, however, was Twilight’s favourite part of the day - Trixie’s magic lesson, held every Thursday.
 
The lessons had started about a month ago, when Trixie rolled up in Ponyville with all her usual fanfare and asked to become Twilight’s “great and powerful student”. Twilight was, of course, sceptical at first, but after a few weeks of Trixie not attempting to overthrow her or enslave the town, she figured Trixie actually meant it - and over time they had gotten to know each other, they were almost friends now…
 
The castle study was set up with meticulous care - there was a blackboard on wheels, set up to align perfectly with the centre of the back wall. In front of it was a desk, aligned perfectly with the blackboard, a textbook neatly placed on the desk, and a stool sitting nicely next to the desk. Light was shining through the window at just the right angle to brighten up the entire room, the perfect environment for learning! Twilight stood in front of the blackboard eagerly, holding a piece of chalk and some notes with her magic.
 
Suddenly, the door swung open, and Trixie trotted proudly over to her desk.
 
“Hey Trixie!” Twilight said with a smile. “Am I glad to see you, it’s been a long day.”
 
“Hello Twilight” Trixie replied, her own devious smile slightly unnerving her teacher.
 
Twilight eyed Trixie suspiciously. “Are you up to something, Trixie?”
 
“Of course not,” Trixie replied unconvincingly, “those days are well and truly over. Trixie is simply ready to learn.”
 
With that, Trixie hopped onto the stool and leaned back casually.
 
Twilight shrugged and turned back to the blackboard. “Alright then. Today we’re looking at teleportation magic chapter two. Please turn to page seventy six in your textbook.”
 
“Make me.”
 
“Excuse me?”
 
Trixie giggled. “Trixie doesn’t want to.”
 
“Trixie, if something’s wrong, you can just tell me” a very confused Twilight offered.
 
“Nothing’s wrong - Trixie would simply rather look at page seventy eight.”
 
“Oh, you read ahead! You could have just said so!” Twilight laughed awkwardly. “Page seventy eight it is!”
 
With that, Twilight tossed away her notes, and picked up new ones from a box labelled ‘backup notes’, hidden behind the blackboard.
 
“Today we’re looking at how to distinguish a second degree teleportation spell from - ow!
 
Something hit the back of her ear! Twilight turned to see a paper plane on the ground behind her.
 
“Trixie! I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you’d better start behaving yourself” Twilight complained.
 
Trixie giggled. “Oops, Trixie accidentally summoned a paper plane. Must be from simply brimming with magical talent.”
 
Twilight raised an eyebrow, before turning back to the blackboard. “Well don’t do it again.”
 
Twilight jumped as another paper aircraft hit her flank.
 
Trixie! Stop it!
 
Trixie couldn’t help herself, she tried to hold it back, but one lone snort escaped her and a torrent of laughter followed.
 
“Trixie! This isn’t funny! This is your education! How are you going to be prepared for the show in Canterlot without basic knowledge of second degree teleportation spells?” an extremely frustrated Twilight argued breathlessly.
 
“Education shmation” Trixie said, waving her hoof dismissively, before breaking back into laughter.
 
“Trixie, ever since you showed up here, you’ve been taking these lessons seriously, and now, all of a sudden, you’re not. Is there something I’m missing? Is this some kind of a joke?”
 
“Not at all - Trixie has simply realised that she… uh… finds your teaching methods boring” Trixie snorted again, barely regaining self-control.
 
“Why didn’t you say so?” Twilight exclaimed. “What methods would work better?”
 
“Hmm” Trixie said, holding a hoof to her chin in a mock thoughtful expression. “Theatrical performance.”
 
“Theat - what?
 
“You heard Trixie, theatrical performance. She loves a good play. Why, Trixie can remember every line from My Fair Filly!”
 
“Well, I’m just one pony Trixie, I can’t exactly pull off a stage show.”
 
Immediately Twilight realised what she had just said.
 
“Aha! Trixie knew it! Trixie is by far the most talented unicorn!”
 
“It’s a different kind of stage show” Twilight grumbled.
 
“Come on Twilight,” Trixie giggled, though not before sticking her tongue out at Twilight, “you don’t need a whole cast and crew to make a play out of second degree teleportation spells. Just use your imagination!”
 
She lingered on the word ‘imaaaaaagination’ in the most irritating way possible.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, but only if you start behaving yourself after this.”
 
“Deal” Trixie giggled.
 
Twilight took a deep breath, and stood in front of her carefully placed blackboard.
 
“Hello,” Twilight started, in an extremely unimpressive and forced stallion voice, “my name is Fred, and I’m construction pony. I left my cement mixer at home, and I don’t know how to get it here in time to build a house.”
 
Trixie grinned. This was too rich.
 
Twilight quickly darted behind the blackboard, only to reappear seconds later with a makeshift beard, made from palm cards.
 
“Don’t worry” Twilight exclaimed in a deep voice, striking an overly dramatic pose, “I am Starswirl the Bearded, discoverer of modern second degree teleportation techniques! I shall solve your problem! All you need to do is combine a teleportation spell with a navigational spell, and think about the cement mixer. In no time at all, it will appear!
 
Twilight tossed the beard off and drew up a picture of a cement mixer on the blackboard as quickly as possible, while making “whoosh” and “wubwub” sounds to imitate a magic portal.
 
“Wow,” she finally exclaimed, attempting to repeat the voice of ‘Fred’, “that’s amazing Starswirl, the cement mixer is right here. I’m sure with some more practise, I can master second degree teleportation in no time.”
 
Trixie cheered with mock excitement, clapping her hooves together. “Bravo! Truly the best performance Trixie has ever witnessed! Well, Trixie knows all about second degree teleportation now, better be off! Plenty of magic shows to prepare for!”
 
Trixie hopped up out of her seat, and trotted calmly towards the door.
 
“What? Hold up! That was just the introduction! You can’t possibly know how to use second degree teleportation yet!” Twilight protested, chasing after her. “I haven’t told you the parameters of the spell, or the -”
 
“Trixie knows,” Trixie snickered, “but it’s Wednesday. Our lesson is tomorrow”
 
“Oh.”
 
Twilight’s face glowed the most brilliant red Trixie had seen in her life! It was wonderful!
 
“How could I be such a silly filly! This throws all my plans out! I - the - if -”
 
Trixie gently placed a hoof over Twilight’s muzzle before she could hyperventilate the entire castle down.
 
“Shh, it’s alright, Trixie checked your ‘daily schedule notice’,” she said with a smile, “you’re free for another twenty minutes. The real reason Trixie came here was to give you this. She just wanted to have a little fun first.”
 
The glow of Trixie’s magic lifted her starry hat off, revealing a card and a small, wrapped gift underneath. She levitated the two items over to Twilight, who promptly unwrapped them, starting with the card.
 
                    Dear Twilight
 
You’re the dorkiest pony on the planet - as in seriously dorky. You’re the biggest dork Trixie has ever met.
 
Twilight cringed at Trixie’s emphasising of the point.
 
Nonetheless, Trixie has found your lessons to be a huge aid in her magic career, and you’ve helped her get her hooves back on solid ground - so she can continue to be the amazing, magnificent, truly brilliant pony you’ve come to know and worship.
 
As a result, she wanted to say thankyou.
 
Thanks.
 
-Trixie
 
Twilight stared for a moment. She checked over what she just read. Then checked again. She really did just read that.
 
“Wow Trixie, that was… really nice of you” Twilight said, surprised.
 
“Well, Trixie is a truly wonderful friend, surely you’d have expected no less.”
 
Trixie stuck her snout in the air proudly.

“Alright, don’t get carried away” Twilight replied.
 
“Now, open the present” Trixie commanded with an eager smile, her tail wagging a little, involuntarily.
 
Twilight gently placed the card on her blackboard, before levitating the present in front of her face and tearing the paper off with her magic, sending bits of wrapping flying in every direction.
 
She thought about everything it could possibly be. A maths book? A magic book? A novel?
 
It was a box of chocolates.
 
“Oh,” Twilight said, somewhat underwhelmed. She faked a smile, not wanting to hurt Trixie’s feelings.
 
Trixie saw right through it. “Look inside the box,” she whispered.
 
Twilight opened the box, to find a first edition copy of Astronomy in the Modern Age.
 
“H-h-how did you-” Twilight started.
 
“You only talked about it twice every minute” Trixie snickered again.
 
“Oh” Twilight said, blushing again. “Thanks so much!” she added, throwing her arms around Trixie and pulling her into a tight embrace.
 
Trixie returned the hug, cuddling up to Twilight as if she were a big, purple teddy bear.
 
“You are most welcome - Trixie was simply being her wonderful self!”
 
“Really though Trixie, t-thankyou. I really don’t know what to say!”
 
“Then don’t say anything” Trixie giggled back. “Dork.”