BigMac sat on his bed slipping on his plaid red over shirt. The early morning sun shown through the window but despite it the room felt cold. He looked over at the empty space on the bed. MarblePie had already gotten up and made her side of the bed. Following suit he straitened his side of the bed. Marble was always very precise about this and thus BigMac's side of the bed always looked rather sloppy by comparison. A product of her strict family upbringing. He looked down at his comparatively shoddy work with exasperation before turning to leave.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs he could smell a sweet scent wafting from the kitchen. AppleJack was serving breakfast while Marble sat at the table feeding ApplePie from a bottle and AppleBloom scratched away attentively with her pen at her school work. AppleBloom would be graduating soon. It made him proud to see her working so diligently.
"Yer up late," AppleJack observed, "busy night?".
"Nope." BigMac replied stoically before snatching up a pancake and shoveling it down his muzzle. He turned to leave.
"Yer not gonna stay an eat breakfast?" AppleJack complained.
"Late start, no time," BigMac replied. He walked over to Marble and placed a kiss on her forehead. She blushed slightly.
"Love ya,"
"M-hm" she hummed back in her usual manner. Her voice was sweet but BigMac couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt. She always responded to him this way and it never used to bother him but more and more it was starting to.
"Eyup," he sighed before heading out the back door towards the shed. Later that day he and AppleJack were gathering up the apples which had hit the ground early.
"You been doing alright? Ya got me kinda worried," AJ inquired as she tossed another bad apple into her basket.
"Eyup," BigMac assured.
"Marble seems ta have calmed down a bit, wish Ah could say the same for poor Pinkie though," AppleJack sighed.
"Eyup," BigMac replied again.
They walked along in silence for a bit. "It's Tuesday, ya'll goin' ta rehearsal today?" AppleJack asked, referring to his friends A cappella group The Pony Tones.
"Eeeyup," he replied with a tone that was either hesitation or realization. She couldn't tell if he was hesitant to go or simply forgot.
"Well ya'll better get goin soon or you'll be late," AppleJack reminded.
"Eyup" BigMac replied with more certainty. Before heading off in a hurry.
As he walked up to the steps of the community center where the Pony Tones rehearsed he spotted Rarity, TorchSong, and ToeTapper waiting at the front entrance.
"What took you so long?" TorchSong scolded. "We've been waiting for nearly half an hour, it's not like you to be so late."
Rarity fidgeted a bit and seemed to avoid making eye contact. She knew why he was late. He knew why he was late. It had been a week since the "incident" and he and Rarity hadn't spoken in that time. Things had calmed down a bit but... ponies talk. There were rumors circulating ponyville about their alleged affair. He wasn't sure who started those rumors exactly though he imagined it had been some random bystander who had observed the commotion that day.
"FlutterShy!" Rarity called out with glee as she waved her hoof towards the approaching pegasus and accompanying draconeques. BigMac gave the pleasant distraction a surprised smile.
"I can't believe you actually came!" Rarity exclaimed as she rushed to hug FlutterShy.
"Well I didn't want to disappoint, besides..." FlutterShy replied softly with a light blush. "Discord wouldn't let me back out of it."
"I simply couldn't allow her to keep that lovely voice of hers hidden," Discord replied with his usual tone of eccentricity, "why it's positively criminal!"
"Oh Darling I know." Rarity agreed. "Honestly I think everypony deserves to have that special somepony who pushes them to be their very best."
"I'm sure you'll find yours Rarity," FlutterShy assured though the gesture was somewhat misguided.
"Oh well I didn't mean..." Rarity stuttered and blushed.
"You did say Everypony" Discord teased. "That you did." ToeTapper chimed in.
BigMac simply watched from the sidelines as the others laughed and chatted with one another. Discord still made him a tad nervous but he seemed nice enough. It was nice watching his friends smiling and sharing stories, but something still tore at the back of his mind. He couldn't help but think about what Rarity said and wonder how his behavior influenced Marble, or vice versa. Were they really growing? and in what direction? He wondered what he was doing wrong, how he could be a better husband. He wondered if maybe he had rushed into all this, pushed the relationship too far too fast. They only dated a year. But then again his in-laws had been married in a fortnight.
Rehearsal seemed to pass by in a haze as he never really could put his whole heart into it. TorchSong stopped him multiple times to ask him to "speak up," or "adjust your pitch,". She complained more than once that his performance sounded dry. He didn't really care. It was good to see FlutterShy get into the spirit of it though, her special somepony cheering her on all the way. He wished he had a partner like that. Rarity used to do that for him. It's how he got started singing with the Pony tones in the first place. He remembered his old mullet and that leather jacket he wrapped around her shoulders on their first date. They were young and full of spirit. He never was much of a talker but every now and again Rarity managed to pull it out of him. She inspired him. Her talent, her ambition, meanwhile he was just an apple farmer with few other prospects. Not that he disliked his work but sometimes he wondered what it would be like to have a passion like that.
As rehearsal came to a close TorchSong exchanged cheek kisses with everypony present before they all went their separate ways. All but BigMac and Rarity. He stood at the base of the steps looking out at the setting sun. He knew what awaited him back home. He'd kiss Marble goodnight before falling asleep with their backs to each other. She might cuddle up next to him but he wasn't sure how he felt about that anymore. Rarity walked up behind him and placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"It's a lovely evening, would you like to walk me home?" She smiled softly with a sense of understanding. "We could take the chance to catch up."
BigMac gave a grateful "Eyup."
Rarity was right. It was a lovely walk. The setting sun cast their shadows like long limbed stick ponies across the orange tinted grass. The air was crisp and sweet and it was nice simply enjoying each others company.
"So how are things with Marble?" Rarity asked.
"Fine ah guess, good as they could be." BigMac replied numbly.
"She's still mad at you I take it?"
"Nope."
"What is it then?" Rarity inquired curiously. This was it, time to get to the meat of the matter.
"Ah donno, Ah guess Ahm just not happy bout the way thin's are with us," He admitted. "Like they way she talks ta me... or rather doesn't."
"You want more communication is that it?" Rarity asked genuinely concerned.
"No..." BigMac replied unsuredly.
"Well what do you want?" Rarity asked with a tone of irritation.
"Ah don't know!" BigMac nearly shouted with frustration. The two of them had stopped walking as Rarity turned to face him. They were now standing outside the Carousel Boutique. He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and all but fell apart.
"Ah envy you, yer always so confident, ya always know just what ya want outa life," He cast his eyes to the ground. "Ya always did."
He remembered standing outside her parents house eight years ago with that stupid mullet and a little box in his hooves. He wanted to marry her then. He was young and so was she, she had a budding career and he... He thought she was all he ever wanted.
Rarity took a step towards him and placed a hoof on his cheek. He lifted his eyes just enough to meet hers through a curtain of orange hair.
"I never wanted to hurt you. Don't think for a second that, that decision wasn't one of the hardest I've ever made." Rarity looked down for a moment and her arm grew slack. "Sometimes I still wonder if I made the right choice..."
And then, without discretion, he kissed her. It was quick and innocent. Like a school pony crush. Like their first kiss.
Rarity stood there and simply stared at him wide eyed. For once she had nothing to say. BigMac's face grew hot as an instant wave of guilt washed over him. He stammered for a moment before turning to flee leaving Rarity alone at the front step of the Carousel Boutique, silhouetted by the setting sun.
Upon arriving home all he wanted to do was go be with his wife. Yes the mare he married, his one true love, his soul mate, the mother of his foal. He was in such a hurry he zipped past AppleJack as she tried to speak to him.
"Where's Marble?" He asked urgently.
"She's upstairs, but..." it was too late he was already climbing the stairs before AJ could pass on her warning.
BigMac stopped at the door to catch his breath. Marble was sitting on the bed looking out the window. He felt relieved, almost as if he expected not to find her. He smiled to himself as he walked towards her. His smile vanished however when he heard a light sniffling. Marble was crying, and it looked like she had been for sometime.
"Marble, babe whats wrong?" He asked with genuine concern as he sat and wrapped his arm around her.
"My father," She choked. "He passed away this morning, Muad came by to break the news..." She sobbed and buried her face in his chest. "She's staying the night with Pinkie, the funeral's tomorrow..."
BigMac held her close and tried to reassure her. "It hurts, Ah know, it'll be ok Ah promise."
"You don't know," she murmured indignantly through her sobs.
Something inside BigMac snapped just then. He shot up off the bed nearly knocking Marble over. His heart pounded in his ears as he was hit with a sudden wave of rage.
"Ah don't know what?" He growled, "What don't Ah understand?"
Marble flinched as if she just realized the implications of her words.
"At least yer daddy got ta walk ya down the isle, ya'll think AJ or AppleBloom'll get ta have that same luxury?" it was a rhetorical question. They both knew the answer. Never the less he wanted her to say it, he wanted to know she understood.
"uh-uh" came a weak little hum. BigMac used to find that little voice endearing but right now it only served to further his rage.
"Ah had ta be strong, fer them, fer granny and the girls. Had ta grow up real quick, Ah didn't get ta cry about it," His blood boiled. It wasn't fair. He wanted to be supportive but it wasn't fair. Nopony was there to comfort him when his parents died. He was only twelve, he had to be there for his sisters, he had to be the man of the house. He never even finished school he had to quit to keep the farm running. Nopony gave him slack, he didn't get to pout or throw tantrums. But now, now he wanted too, he wanted to cry and stomp up and down and scream at whatever god saw it fit to take them from him. He wanted to be comforted, he wanted somepony else to tell him everything would be ok... He wanted...
He looked down at Marble's tear stained face and frightened eyes. He couldn't be upset. Yet again he had to be the strong one, the calm dependable one. And for once, he couldn't.
"Ahm sorry, alright, Ahm sorry. Ah just, Ah need some space." with that he snatched up a pillow and one of the sheets off the bed and stormed out.
"BigMac wait!" Marble called out in a soft voice but he slammed the door shut before she could say anything else.
It was two o'clock in the morning and he was laying awake on a couch that was frankly too small for him with only one thought in his mind. "oh darlin' I'm sorry."