Lily - 1st of Midsummer ‘15 EoH - NoonLily - 1st of Midsummer ‘15 EoH - Noon
“Surprise!” Shouted the amassed horde of enemy-
No…
It. Was. Normal. Ponies. This was a prank.
Son. Of. A. Whore!
Blood pressure, rising… Urge to punch prankster directly in the pterion: Maximal.
Must. Contain. Rage!
That’s when Scootaloo clutched her barrel and fell over.
“Oh darn!” The pink earth pony mare leading the crowd lamented, ears drooping. “Somepony grab the first aid kit, it happened again…”
A small white medical kit floated over in a forest green aura to a point where the mare could grab it with a hoof.
“Honey, I keep telling you, leave it by the door.” A kinda familiar stallion’s voice sighed from deeper into the crowd of now concerned pranksters.
I held up a hoof slowly. “She’s fine. Just give her a few more seconds.”
This wasn’t a medical emergency. Sure normally but-
“She had a heart attack!” Somepony called from the crowd in angry disbelief.
“Ja, she did. But for the next five months residual healing magic means in a few minutes her heart will literally be good as new.” I explained. “She wasn’t killed outright und so-”
“Ow…” Scoots groaned, slowly pushing herself back up.
A few relieved sighs came from the crowd as she stood back up. Instantly the pink mare wrapped her in a hug, somehow stuffing the medical kit into her mane and getting it to stay within the voluminous curls!
Like, what even… Did she have a pouch woven in her mane? Actually, that’s kind of a brilliant idea! But I’d never pull it off with my short A-line manecut.
“I’m sorry Scoots,” the pink-prankster apologised, “I didn’t think you would get scared that bad! I mean, I’ve only scared twenty ponies that bad with a surprise party, so um, that makes… Hon?”
“One in four-forty-five.” The same very familiar voice called back.
“Right! So, statistically, you were fine, but um… Sorry.” She apologised, then immediately turned to me. “Also sorry, I hope you can still have fun at your Welcome-to-ponyville-as-well-as-your-new-home-slash-business-slash-fortress-that-was-a-gift-for-fixing-scoots-wings-and-being-new-member-of-my-family-’cause-that-is-also-a-thing-party!”
She finished her explosion of words with a huge smile, and by throwing two hooffuls of confetti into the air. I stood in stunned awe at how rapidly, yet coherently she could speak for a few moments before her actual words hit me.
“Wait! Family? What?” I exclaimed. What by Faust’s bucking mane was she even talking about?
Oh dear lord! Please tell me Equestria didn’t have a compulsory herding law like Mareland!
“Um, you’re my sorta-brother-in-law.” She said in a ‘duh’ tone, giving me the same look anypony would give to someone who was very drunk.
“No I’m not!” I protested, now more confused than angry about her prank to get me up here for the party. “I don’t even have any siblings.”
Almost immediately, a sort of burnt orange pegasus with a spiky blue mane and tail emerged from the crowd holding a soda can in his hoof.
Wait, Sky? I gave him a small confused frown. What was he doing here?
"Good to know that dinner was for nothing then.” Sky said half-irritably. “I know for a fact that my mom and the Pink are gung ho about this. But if you're not, eh, no feathers off my back..."
“But- I, wait… Why are you here?” I demanded, needing my confusion to be put to rest.
“Uh, my wife is throwing a party. Wedding vows and what not.” Sky replied instantly.
Oh, well I guess that made a bit of sense. “Ah, so you're married to her. Okay I guess that makes-”
The pink mare put on a pouty face as she turned to Sky. “Triggie, you said you mentioned me!”
“I did!” Sky protested. “Mom broke out wine and this little guy is a lightweight.”
Sky turned to me again and pointed a hoof at me. “Right, so you’re my sorta little brother because you're younger than me and your parents are only alive because my parents donated organs. I'm okay with the concept now, because you know, I had time to process things; also I’m not trying to get ancient weapons to work, the workings of which I have never seen before, with literally hours left before a war breaks out.
“Anywho, so, you're sorta my lil bro, and Pinkie’s my wife, so that makes you her sorta-brother-in-law, therefore, welcome to the family gets added to the party name. Get it? Got it! Good...” Sky finished.
I felt my heart leap a bit. “So uh, you’re not mad at me for-”
“For going behind my back through a friend to get introduced to my mom?” Sky asked, then nodded. “Yeah, I am. Little bit. But you’re also right, you technically are related to me, so I figured I’d get revenge in a brotherly sort of way.”
Ah, so that explains the super convincing ghost prank. Sky probably set up some of his tech to mimic everything.
“Mm… Not bad. I’m not a fan of pranks though.” I said, happy to sort of have a relative that wasn’t a jerk. Well, a huge jerk.
“I’ll keep that in mind for pranking purposes.” Sky said, taking a sip of his soda. “Not gonna stop me though…”
“Well, now that we’re all cleared up, everypony party till ya drop!” Pinkie exclaimed, vanishing into the crowd with a “Weee!” as somepony else cranked a sound system to flood the room with what could only be described as Symphonic Dubstep.
Scoots tapped on my shoulder. “I’m going to get some snacks. Pinkie’s great at planning parties, but somepony always gets the last coco-coconut ball before me. Be right back.”
“There’s snacks?” I asked turning to follow her as she trotted off.
A hoof gripped my shoulder. “Oh no you don’t!” Sky said firmly. “You wanted a brother, you’re getting one.”
“Uhh… What do you mean?” I asked, concerned about the slightly ‘I’m going to give you a swirly’ tone of voice.
“We’re going to hang out and get to know one another before I’m back off to the badlands for work.” Sky said, two chairs pulling themselves out from a nearby table for us to sit at with a flicker of green magical light.
“Was?” I exclaimed in surprise, noticing the color matched Sky’s eyes. “How did you do that?”
He shrugged and took a seat. “Not exactly sure in terms of biology. I’m forty percent unicorn, you remember dad, right? He’s pretty powerful. I like to think he gave a bit of his magic to me. I can levitate some lighter objects, not too fast, not too far from me, but still… Not bad.”
I nodded and sat down. The chair was actually pretty nice. Solid wood, comfortable, a simple modern style with a nice plush seat. “Why would somepony leave this behind when moving?” I mused to myself.
“What?” Sky asked with a frown before chuckling. “No, all the furniture is a gift. Pinkie gives everybody who moves in basic furniture. It’s her thing.”
“Wait, everypony?” I asked in surprise.
He nodded. “Mhm. If you move to Ponyville, you get a party. End of story. They actually had to pass a law stating that Pinkie has to give everyone a week to see if they stay because she started throwing parties for people that were just passing through and things got a bit too, disruptive...”
“How can you two afford that?” I asked in a serious tone. “I’m about to start a business here, so if there is some financial magic you know-”
Sky laughed. “Oh, no, all of this is on her, not me. We don’t share a bank account. That way we can save up money for surprises without the other knowing. As for how the Pink does it, well, I know… But I don’t think I could ever successfully explain it to anybody else. Just accept the fact that she gave you a gift and move on.”
That didn’t bode well with me… “Uh, it’s not bought with blo-”
Sky gave me an irritated face. “No. It’s not criminally sourced.”
“Oh. Gut.” I replied, awkwardly looking down at the table in embarrassment.
Searching for something to turn the conversation away from ‘I just assumed you married a crime boss’, I quickly asked, “so, if you live out in the Badlands… How does Pinkie do parties for everypony here?”
“Eh, I don’t really live there full time anymore.” Sky said, kicking back in the chair a bit. “When we got married, Pinkie didn’t want to leave her friends, so I commute. Two weeks at work, two weeks at home… Unless there’s an emergency.”
“But, aren’t you-”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m their chief engineer. Chief. As in, in charge. Meaning I can delegate. And if there’s a problem then anyone on the engineering crew can just call me on their watch, or use a messenger gem, then Pinkie rushes me over, and I fix it.”
I facehooved. “I spent way too long in Stalliongrad. I keep forgetting that long distance communication is a thing.”
Sky snickered. “Seriously? You’re supposed to be a fully trained Wizard, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Well ja, but I also am a specialist. I’m a Biomancer, not a Transmuter.”
Sky frowned for a moment. “Aww…”
The hay? Was he disappointed that I couldn’t know, do, or remember all thirty some od schools of magic?
“What?” I asked raising an eyebrow. “I chose a complicated field. I can’t remember all of magic, that’s beyond knowability.”
Sky gave me a grin. “Give it six years, Twilight will disprove that statement. I garentee it.”
If he hadn’t assumed that, then, what had he been sad about? “Then why the frown?” I asked quizzically.
“Would you mind doing something for me?” Sky asked.
“Um, sure. Do you need medical attention?”
He shook his head. “No. Just… It would be really cool if next time you told someone you were a Biomancer, if you phrased it ‘Damn it’ their name’, I’m a Biomancer, not a ‘other thing’.”
My eyebrows both rose, too confused to just choose the left or right to raise in confusion. “Um, why?”
“Long story. Let’s just say I don’t like wasting potential, and as a pretty good doctor, you could be making a fairly good piece of referential humor.” Sky said as he took another sip of soda. “So how’s the watch treating you? I kinda didn’t want to give it to you. I was afraid you’d call everyday.”
“Wait, it does more than tell time?” I asked ears perking up in surprise.
“I- wait, but- what?” Sky sputtered, face contorting in a mixture of irritation and bafflement. "Do you not remember me explaining to you what it is or how I called you on it during the battle!?"
I timidly shook my head. “N-no… I sort of can’t remember much of it at all… Overdosed on a mana restorative afterwards so I could try und heal everypony I could.”
“Ahh. Okay.” Sky said, sighing to try and calm himself down a bit. “So you have drug induced memory loss. That’s way better than being sorta related to an idiot. Hold on, I know the screen defaults to display the time, but you didn’t look at it, see all of the buttons, and assume they could do things?”
I nodded slowly. “Yes, but well, I thought, you know, they were for changing the time. Or turning on a glowy light. Or getting a compass at the most. You know, watch things.”
“But- but, it only resembles a watch!” Sky protested. “I intentionally made them look sci-fi so anybody would know it’s more of a multi-tool than a timepiece!”
I felt my ears flick back in annoyance. My specialty was magic, not technology! I had nothing against mechanical things, but I hadn't spent my life learning about them or anything!
“Dammit Sky, I’m a Wizard not an Engineer!” I protested, using his phrasing by pure reflex.
Sky instantly smiled, only barely keeping from clapping his hooves. “YES! That was perfect! Okay, all forgiven. We’re good.”
I triple blinked. “You’re not upset at me for not understanding your watch does lots of things after one accidental joke I don’t even understand?”
Sky nodded. “Yep.”
I thought for a few moments, eventually concluding. “Must be a hay of a joke… Can I get in on it?”
Sky shook his head no. I was about to ask why when Scoots emerged from the crowd with a plate of snacks. “Hey! Sorry about that. I just got super hungry there for some reason.”
“Cuz your body had to regenerate an entire heart.” Sky and I said in unison.
Scoots blinked then giggled. “Hehe! You two sure you're not actual siblings?”
“Well, I mean, technically we would be what, half brothers?” Sky asked. “Because you did that genome swapping thing.”
“More like…” I paused for a moment to do a quick calculation, “Eighty-six out of a hundred brothers. But well, neither of us grew up with one another, so it’s just a medical connection.”
Sky nodded. “Sure, but that sort of does count for something I guess. Mom was right, she and dad chose to give life to two ponies in Germaney, and you resulted from that life. That’s family. Sort of.”
It warmed my heart to know that he’d changed his mind in the last three weeks. Though admittedly I probably shouldn’t have latched onto a vauge quazi-familial connection in the way I did, it was nice to know that I had some ponies out there who did give a bit of a crap about me.
“Danke Bruder.” I thanked happily.
“Gern geschehen, Schwester.” Sky returned with a coy grin.
My ears drooped. “Uh, that means sister.”
Sky nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m fluent in Germane, remember?”
“Then wh-”
“We are now eighty six percent even for you getting Kev to talk to my mom behind my back.” Sky exclaimed with a silly grin
Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed. “I swear if you did that ghost thing down stairs, I’ll smack you into next week!”
“Please don’t. Pinkie did that to me once, it’s amazingly confusing.” Sky said with a sigh. “And what do you mean ‘ghost thing’? I didn’t do any ghost thing. What are you talking about?”
My eyes widened. If that hadn’t been a prank…
“We went downstairs first.” I explained urgently. “Und after entering the room got freezing, we heard hoofsteps come down the stairs, und then a box of cerial floated out of a room without any aura suspending it-”
Sky shook his head. “Yeah that wasn’t me. Ask the Pink, she’s a notorious prankster… Though she’s more into classical style pranks. That’s a bit elaborate for her tastes… Hmm… On second thought, try Dash. She’s here somewhere.”
“So, you don’t think it could have actually been a real ghost and not a joke, right?” Scootaloo asked in concern.
“Um, ghosts aren’t real.” Sky said firmly. “Vampires, yes. Werewolves, sure. Zombies, also yes. But incorporeal undead? No. That one’s been pretty much confirmed by both science and thaumaturgy. Spirits need a living body to exist within this universe.”
I nodded slowly. “Sure, ja, I know that. But that seemed incredibly real.” I nervously shuffled a hoof on the floor.
Sky pursed his lips for a few moments. “Well… Cold air, nothing visible, sounds still present… A few various monsters could definitely have also done that. But there’s no way in Tartarus a monster’s been living in Ponyville’s heart for the like, um... Fifteen or so years this place has been closed.
“Also there’s the fact that this is after Twilight had the walls built, and a pretty thorough security sweep was set up. I know, I built the tech components for it. There’s very few things that would block any monstrous creature’s bio or arcane signatures from the hourly sweeps. So it’s probably a prank.
“If you’re still worried though, ask Dash. If she didn’t do it, then I don’t know, get Lyra to go look for you.”
I nodded. That did seem like a reasonable plan. Scootaloo mentioned she was an archaeologist and cryptozoologist. That meant she knew her way around traps, monsters, and probably bandits.
“That seems like a go-” I started.
Suddenly a mint green mare leaned into view from behind Sky. “Hey! While I wasn’t sneaking up on you to pester you about a suit again, I couldn’t help but hear my name, what’s up?”
Sky groaned and held a hoof to his temple. “Right, Pinkie invites the neighbors over so everypony can meet and be friends…”
“Yep! Hi by the way, I’m Lyra. I live next door with Equestria’s hottest mare.” Lyra greeted holding out a hoof. Then her eyes narrowed. “Hold on a- Wait we met before! You were the medic who helped everypony after the Battle of the Borderlands!”
I flinched instantly. It sucked not being able to remember anything about that day except for a vague series of fragmented images playing on fast forward.
“I’m sorry,” I apologise, “I can’t remember much of anything. I used a lot of mana bars to-”
Lyra nodded sympathetically. “Say no more. I helped Bonnie test them. They can really knock you for a loop if you have more than three in a day. The name’s Lyra Heartstrings, just a minute.”
Lyra turned to face Sky. “Please build me an epic humanoid suit!”
“I did. Use the one I made you.” Sky grumbled.
“Yeah, but it’s just metal and gizmos and only vaguely human shaped!” Lyra protested. “I know you could make a lifelike squishy soft fur covered one!”
“Yes, I could.” Sky agreed. “But I know what you would use it for, and I don’t wanna be a part of that.”
I couldn’t help but feel this was a very old argument. Judging from Scoots sigh, it was probably also a frequent one.
“You made the first one!” Lyra protested.
“Correct. I also thought you just wanted an exoskeleton to better hold your balance upright for combat reasons. Not a live-in organic-like lifestyler costume slash marital aid!” Sky objected, ears laying back in annoyance.
I could end this… Based on Scoots irritable moan, I should probably do it just to earn some brownie points. Oh hey maybe I’ll get a hug for it!
I cleared my throat. “Uh, I could probably actually make you bipedal. Or if I can get another changeling tissue sample, I could work out a means to let you shapeshift into one particular humanoid form.”
Lyra’s golden eyes widened as she turned to face me. Sky’s eyes conversely shrank with fear.
“Whelp, semi-bro opened the floodgates.” Sky muttered. “Hey Scoots, let’s go see what the Pink is up to?”
Scootaloo nodded and backed away from the table, Sky doing the same.
“That’s an excellent idea!” She said giving me an apologetic look before whispering, “see you in an hour.”
Lyra slid into Sky’s chair. “I’m best friends with a changeling! I can have you a tissue sample in twenty minutes! How much work is needed and what do you accept as currency? Price is no object.”
Oh. Dear. Faust.
Those eyes. Those were the eyes of somepony who had been desperate to experience something for decades, but never got to obtain their goal.
This was possibly a mistake. Also we would be adapting the transformation gland splice I used with David. If I even did anything. A permanent change was definitely the wrong call regardless of anything else here.
“It would take me about a month to adapt a spell of my creation to the task.” I said slowly and calmly, doing my best to analyse her over the noise of the party. This wasn’t the best place to try to psychologically profile somepony…
“It might be better to do this durring shall we say, office hours. Once I’m open.” I said, hoping she would be reasonab-
“Your brother’s been jerking me around for eight years. No dice.” Lyra said firmly. “How much would you charge? It’s not medically necessary, so there’s no way you’d do it for free the Crown won’t pay you back for cost. Tell me what I need to give you to get the thing.”
I sighed. The long sigh of someone who realized that they were facing a wall of stubborn that wouldn’t budge.
“I don’t know prices here very well…” I admitted slowly. “I spent five years in Stalliongrad. Where a table knife is half a day’s wages. How much is a bit worth?”
Lyra nodded to herself in thought. “The Crown pays everypony a four thousand bit living stipend, that’s enough for one pony to have a one room apartment with the minimal features, as well as essential foods, and with a bit left over for the occasional treat. It’s the bare minimum to survive and stay a bit upbeat. A working pony probably brings in sixthousand bits a month on average, which would get you a nicer apartment, and good food.”
“Hold on,” I interrupted, “Equestria does a basic income?”
That was in a word, sort of insane for me. Germaney wasn’t exactly a wealthy nation anymore. Too much medical expenses for everypony. Welfare of any kind other than medical was non-existent.
“Yeah. I know, were the only nation that does it, but it actually helps the economy. Can’t spend money you don’t have. So, six thousand bits is a worker’s wage. Skilled labor can pull in around twice that.” Lyra explained.
Alright. Well if skilled labor for one month was twelve thousand bits, and since this was cosmetic…
“Fourteen thousand bits.” I decided. “But! I’ll settle for eight thousand, if you can get your wife to agree to a business deal to supply my clinic with a reasonable amount of Manabars. I don’t have much of a reserve, und if I have to do multiple operations in a day, I will need them.”
“Done.” Lyra said. “I’ll have the money and the tissue sample in your hooves by midnight.”
“Um, I never agreed to do it.” I said, making Lyra’s ears droop and eyes start to moisten in ether genuine despair, or masterfully executed puppydog eyes. “This was just a price estimate.”
“Oh… Well, will you do it?” Lyra asked. “Please?”
“Well, maybe. It depends. Exactly what do you want and why is it so important that you will ask for it in the middle of a party?”
Lyra chuckled. “Sky avoids me like the plague because he knows I’m gonna pester him till he makes me that suit, or one of us dies, then till he makes me the suit again. Even if you do come through for me. It’s a stubborn off. At this point it’s a game to us. I see him, I ask, he rejects. The first pony to give up loses, and he understands that.
“As for what I want… I admit that I’m sort of the weird fangirl here. Ever hear of the Ancient Aliens Theory?”
I nodded. “Ja, of course. I went to college. Much of the technology ponykind has comes from studying the ruins of dead alien cultures. I’m sure most ponies know-”
“The Precursor species,” Lyra began, quoting the old often used explanation, “arrived on Equestria during the days before Ponykind was civilised, and built cities to observe and study our developing species, leaving before our ancestors developed writing, and leaving behind some of their wonders.
“The theory is bucking wrong!” Lyra stated, thumping a hoof into the table hard enough to make me jump. “It always says they came from other worlds. But they didn’t! I’m not some tinfoil hat conspiracy not here, I have and also have seen proof!
“Nopony wants to believe that a sapient species can go extinct. I understand that. But it’s academically irresponsible to reject the evidence and insist that the Precursor species ‘just left’. No. They were here, this was their homeworld too. And I know what they were called.
“Humans. They lived here about two hundred and fifty million years ago. Want proof? Archeology. Dig that far down and you will find a geologically distinct layer of material containing so many relics, synthetic materials, and rare isotopes of so many different stages of complexity and development that there is no way that whoever made them didn’t develop everything from the bow and arrow to…”
She paused a moment, face contorting as she searched for a word. “Well… I don’t know what you’d call it. We don’t have any spell or weapon that would render a huge chunk of the world unlivable for centuries due to radiation levels… Not for technical reasons mind you. We are definitely more morally advanced than humans were if the devastated regions you can find are anything to go by.
“I… I actually found a relic of theirs that… I still have it. Mostly because museums insist it’s fake. They could record information in ways which last for well, hundred of millions of years apparently. I found what amounts to a book, only you can ask it questions, and it answers.
“It took me a while to learn the language used, and also begging Twilight to teach me how to make a translation spell… But I did. And I learned everything I could about them. Humans that is.”
Lyra sighed sadly, then turned to look wistfully out the window. “Studying that book showed me an amazing people. They had no ability to detect or use thaumaturgic current, but that didn’t even slow them down. They built a flying machine, then just sixty years later landed a ship on the moon just to see if they could. They developed a means for every single last one of them to talk to every other person anywhere on the planet. They worked out the basic workings of the universe, except arcana which they thought was fictional somehow…
“Humans were a species that did amazing things. All the time. I’ve seen some of their media, they had movies too. Our filly and colt programming is all stories and fairytales, Humans have a show for their young that teaches science. They were literally masters of the world, not one monster existed in their time period. They dominated the food chain to the point of working out how to literally grow a slab of meat from scratch!
“My personal favorite, Humans were awesome. Like, in attitude and behavior. Always positive and upbeat! I’ve got a video they created to broadcast during the end of their world. It has a motherbucking laughtrack! The possibility of their entire species going poof! And they laughed in the face of complete annihilation. Now that is the definition of cool!
“I have all that, but ponykind mostly refuses to buck the cultural narrative and accept the bucking amazing truth… It doesn't help that somehow the name human, and their likeness, has been used as a fantasy species by many authors over the years. Just makes me seem more insane to everypony… Maybe I am, I don’t care anymore. The establishment will never accept the truth.”
She turned to me and gave me a smile. “So all I can do is geek out over human stuff! And why not? They were pretty neat from what I’ve learned. I want to experience what life would have been like if I had to walk on two legs, had hands, and all that… Except keeping fur. And general pony shape. Because having no fur is very cold, and embarrassing.
“So, can ya do that?” She finished bringing her rambling tirade to a close.
I was conflicted. Lyra definitely could be quite crazy, but, she was also an archeologist and could easily be right. I’ll be the first to admit that accademia can refuse to let go of a narrative, traditions latch onto every part of life for good and for ill.
If she was crazy, then I’d be hurting her by enabling her to change. You never, ever play into anypony’s psychosis. If she was not crazy, then she genuinely wished to experience how life would be if she had a different body. I completely understood that desire.
I thought about things for as long as I cared to, then nodded to myself.
“You still have this book?” I asked.
“Yes! I sleep with it on my nightstand. I used to be under the pillow but Bonnie kept nibbling on it in her sleep. She’s a sleep-nomer.” Lyra answered.
“After the party, bring the book over and show it to me.” I said. “If you have it, and it’s not something that you clearly made yourself, I’ll do it.”
“Yes!” Lyra exclaimed, pumping one hoof into the air. “I’ll literally be back three minutes after this shindig!”
She flashed me a huge grin. “Cuz it’s real. Anyways, what did Sky mention me for? He wasn’t warning you off me was he?”
I shook my head. “No. He was saying you could help check the building for a potential monster.”
Lyra’s eyes light up with the same sort of excitement of a foal in a candy store that was also made out of candy, and happened to be otherwise empty of other living things.
“What kind of monster?” She asked smoothly.
“It’s probably a prank,” I said dismissively, mostly to reassure myself, “but when I went to check out the bottom floors a few minutes ago, Scootaloo and I encountered something extremely ghostlike. It made the sound of hoofsteps, the room was very cold, und something invisible moved making hoof steps, then levitated a box of cereal without any visible aura.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Did it say anything?”
Come to think of it, yes. It had. How had I forgotten that?
“Yeah! It did actualy, it … It wanted warmth.” I said frowning. “That sounds really weir-”
“Hold on,” Lyra reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a small yellow gemstone with her magic and tapped it with a hoof, “Colegate. … Hey Cole, it’s Lyra. Did you prank the new mare who moved in next to me today?”
“Uh no.” A mare’s voice said, coming from the messenger gem. “Meep and I have spent the whole day playing twister.”
Lyra winced. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“No! Actual twister. The game.” Colegate protested defensively. “It’s amazingly fun with both players can shapechange.”
“Right…” Lyra sighed. “Well, you’ll want to come over. Around midnight when it will have had time to calm down.”
What was she talking about?
“Uh, Lyra… What happened?” Cole asked in concern.
“Based on Lily’s account, we either have a Dash grade mean-spirited prank, or there’s a Windigo loose in Ponyville.”
“Ah tartarus…” Cole sighed.
“Want me in on this too?” A third voice asked.
“Nah, we keep it small for now. If we’re right, I’ll call the whole gang in.” Lyra said dismissively. “Besides, Cole’s the only one here who might be able to sneak up on one.”
“I doubt it… I mean, I’ve only had about a month to get used to all of this.” Cole sighed. “But I’ll try. At the very least I’ll be easily able to scout the place. Midnight is good for another reason too, it will be about as cold as it gets. So it will have less power to draw on… Though, well, so will I.”
“Hey, you did fine in the Crystal Empire, you’ll be fine here. Lyra out.” Lyra said tucking her gem away.
“Uh-” I began.
“You described actions that could have been performed by a Windigo.” Lyra said simply. “But the demand for warmth is what seals the deal. They literally eat heat. If we have a cold Windigo loose in Ponyville, then that’s about as dangerous as a hundred starving changelings. Mostly because of stealth capabilities and the fact that I’m pretty sure most detection spells don’t get triggered by them.”
I felt my ears stand up in alarm. “So you’re saying it could be in this room right now?”
Lyra shook her head. “No way. If it could have followed you, it would have gotten you before you reached this place. They are fast! If it is one, something is keeping it from leaving the building. Which is another reason to check it out… I’d like to Windigo proof my closet.”
She was speaking with absolute conviction. In the tone of somepony who actually knew what they were talking about. “I uh, I thought Windigos were mythological. How do you know-”
“I’m friends with one.” Lyra said with a grin. “I have a LOT of weird friends. Windigoes are… Complicated. They aren’t monsters, not in the sense of ‘megadangerious animals’. They are a people. It’s just that their culture um… Well… When you literally see all other lifeforms as prey, you don’t tend to be nice. Also how they reproduce is… Deadly to us.
“So I called in my Windigo to possibly deal with what I hope to Luna isn’t one that grew up in their hidden kingdom. Because if you fight fire with fire, you fight the truth behind the myth of ghosts with the truth behind the myth of ghosts.”
“That… Seems weirdly logical.” I concluded, fur on the back of my neck standing up.
“Right,” Lyra said casually. “Enjoy your evening, I’ll see you around midnight for some Ghost Bust’n. Want me to let your marefriend know crazy Lyra’s done gushing about humans for the moment?”
“Oh, she’s not my mare friend.” I said automatically. “We just started… Um, checking out this place was our first date…”
Lyra winced. “Owch. Kid, that’s not a date. Sometime soon, go into the Redlight district, no it’s not a sex place, there are nonsex things there too, it’s just where all adult establishments are. Anyways, find the restaurant called ‘Ruby’s Diner’. Tell any Ruby there that Lyra said you can use her table, password being ‘What password?’, and take Scoots out for a nice dinner. It won't even cost you a bit! Just let the waitress get a good meal too by giving Scoots a few hugs or something.”
I blinked a few times in bafflement.
“Changeling owned restaurant.” Lyra explained.
“Oh! Huh… That… That’s pretty brilliant.” I mused, trying to distract myself from the pending situation.
I spent a few long moments alone at the table. Contemplating what I had walked into. A secure city. A possible monster that could avoid detection. In the building under me.
Why?
Why couldn’t I just find a nice peaceful life?
“Hey, don’t be sad, it’s a party! Chin up.” Pinkie’s voice said soothingly.
I looked up to see the ponk mare giving me a warming smile, but holding an understanding sympathy in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” I apologised. “It’s a great party, und I appreciate the effort, and the furniture but-”
Pinkie gently tipped my head so my chin was slightly angled upwards. She literally made me ‘chin up’! That was so incredibly funny that I couldn’t help but smile.
“There ya go!” Pinkie said soothingly. “I am really sorry you got scared earlier. If you’d like, I can move the party someplace else. I understand that someponies are just not party people.”
“Oh! Nein nein, it’s fine!” I reassured. “I just… I’m a bit afraid right now. There-” Oh dear Faust! Don’t say it you’ll start a panic! “-there’s a personal issue and-”
“Ooo.” Pinkie cooed knowingly. “I see.”
Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out an actual full sized bouquet of red and white roses, bound with a black silk ribbon!
“Give this to the young lady.” Pinkie said, then immediately frowned and stuffed the flowers back into her space-warping extradimensional mane of science and magic bafflement. “Oopsies! Hehe, you’re interested in Scoots! That wouldn’t work at all just let me-”
“How do you even do that?” I begged as she rooted around her mane with a hoof.
“Muffin button.” Pinkie replied.
“W-what?” I asked reality itself.
“Huh?” Pinkie replied, giving me a confused look for just an instant.
The impossible mare pulled her hoof back out of her mane and into what I was certain was also back into our plane of existence and offered me a rather elaborate folding multi-tool.
“Here ya go! She’ll like this way better.” Pinkie announced setting the tool down on the table. “Have fun!”
I immediately picked the multi-tool up in my magic and inspected it as Pinkie vanished back into the crowd. It was real, not an illusion… It was some sort of hardened steel… Manufactured very well…
Okay then. Under no circumstances should I ever underestimate Pinkie. Thank you reality, I understand completely.
“Hey!” Scoots said sliding into the seat opposite me. “Lyra said she was done. Sorry… Uh, everypony in Ponyville’s heard that once… A year. At least.”
Blinking the confusion from my eyes. I decided to just take the pink mare’s advice.
“That’s okay. I understand.” I said holding out the multi-tool. “Here, a gift.”
Scootaloo gasped happily and took the tool in hoof, immediately opening a few of the bits to inspect them. “This is awesome! I’ve been needing a new one. The last one broke in half. It was cheap Yackastan steel… But this, this feels quality. Thank you so much!”
She flashed me a truly delighted smile, then frowned. “I um, don’t have a place to put it… Now I know why Applebloom almost always keeps her saddlebags on.”
“That’s alright, I can carry it for now. I’ll even walk you home.” I offered.
“I wanted to fly.” Scoots said, a filly-like grin spreading across her face. “You don’t have to give me anything. These are more than enough.” She spread her wings out, fanning them in a rather pretty and impressive spread.
Oh. Oh! She was flirting! Quick brain, what do we do?
Flirt back! Obviously.
But how?
I blushed and drew one hoof up to my mouth, giggling into it like I was a mare in a Neighponese cartoon who was just noticed by Senpai.
Thanks brain…
Scoots smiled and leaned over the table to give me a tight hug. “Awww! You’re so cute when you do that! The blush looks super pink with your coat.”
“Danke.” I said quietly, shuffling one hoof against the chair leg.
Quick! Complement back! The window of opportunity is closing!
“I love your voice.” I said quickly.
“My voice?” Scoots said with a surprised ear-perk.
“Ja. It’s… It’s very kind and robust sounding.” I said, not explaining myself very well due to being more than a little flustered. “It’s like a character in a radio drama, where they need somepony with a great voice because without a visual half the content is lost.”
“Thank you.” Scoots said honestly. “That’s the first time somepony has ever liked my voice.”
Ah ha! Were on a roll. Right?
“Well, I’m more attracted to behavior than looks.” I said taking a short breath to try and lose some of the fluster. “N-not to say you are ugly! You look very nice. Just that to me, actions matter most. Und you are very nice, und also you’re somepony who can relate to me. Das ist rare…”
“What do you mean?” Scootaloo asked politely.
“W-well, your parents implanted toxic metals into you.” I said trying to keep from saying it angrily. “Und mine lit me on fire. We both had horrible families, but we rose above it und are mostly happy now, ja?”
She nodded understanding. “I can see how that would be rare. I like that about you too. Maybe one day when you’re more comfortable talking to me about it we can swap war stories.”
“Ja, I’d like that.” I said honestly giving her a glad smile. It was so nice that she understood! “You didn’t break, you rolled with the pain und became stronger for it, und you didn’t lose your equinity. You’re smart, if under educated, und also quite strong, peppy, kind, happy, und best of all you’re a tomcolt.”
Scootaloo giggled. “Thanks again. But what’s me being a tomcolt have to do with anything?”
I blushed deeply. “I um… Mares are prettiest, but stallions act in the most sexy ways, so uh… You know.”
Scootaloo smiled and gave me a loving stare. “I see… You know, I could say the same for you. All of it. Except you’re definitely more of a scholar than I am. Also I’m more into feminine types than your standard stallion. Because colts like you are just the most adorable things ever.
“I um, I know it’s a bit silly, but… I love you. It’s silly because I’ve only known you for like, a week. And I know that it’s a love born out of you fixing my wings, but at the same time, doesn't that sort of earn some love? It’s only my biggest dream come true! It’s not the most intense love I’ve ever had for anypony. My second marefriend still has that slot… But… It feels a bit different. Less lusty, more genuine appreciation.
“I um… I understand if you say no. But, for a little while at least, longer if we work out, will you be my coltfriend?” She finished looking at me all adorable-hopefully.
Oh Faust! Commitment time. Could I do it? Could I actually commit myself to trying to build a proper relationship? Yes, I was an adult, yes I wanted one, but I hadn’t even read a book on the subject!
“I- I uh, I really want to.” I said, Scoot’s ears falling sadly instantly. “But I don’t know how to have a relationship. I don’t know what exactly to do or say… I love you too, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Scoots sad ear droop turned into a light smile. “Oh you silly, come here.”
She grabbed my chair and drug me over so she could hug me tightly to her side. “You just be affectionate and be yourself. That’s it.”
“That’s it?” I asked, leaning my head against her shoulder.
“Mhm.” She confirmed.
“Oh… Well, in that case, yes.” I agreed cheerfully.
“I love you, ya silly genius.” Scoots said giving me a squeeze.
“I love you too.” I replied, still happily leaning.
That’s when the chorus of “Awwww!” Filled the room, I remembered we were at a party, and I realized that I had just done my first romancing in front of a sizeable audience.
I could feel the blush burning my face as I shyly levitated a tablecloth over Scoots and I to hide before the embarrassment reached fatal levels.