//------------------------------// // Great Family // Story: Deer Me: Black Snow // by The Psychopath //------------------------------// Stelimus returned to his aunt who was now only surrounded by her aides while those that lived under her rule went about their daily lives. She was currently discussing with an aid who seemed to be the one responsible for Effervescence's diet and appearance, judging by said deer aid's slim-but-voluptuous figure and glistening, bubble-gum pin fur that changed to cyan at certain angles. Her eyes were slanted, but only due to obvious snobbishness. She seemed to revel in her position and talents. The shininess of her fur was worrying, actually. "Looks like she rolled around in a fryer's grease after the fries were cooked. So...what's with Lady Gaga?" Effervescence and the diva looked at Stelimus in confusion, although it looked more like they were looking down on him, but he did not flinch. "Who is this uncultured person?" the diva said. "He is my nephew, Diva. The son of my brother, so please pay him your respects." "Holy Nimoy. Her name is literally 'Diva'. Wow. Well. If you're going to burn a house, use the right liquid." "Apologies, your majesty. It's just that...Your unrefined appearance just doesn't seem to befit our God-Queen's beauty. I would have expected her lineage to be a bit more...expectant of their appearance." Stelimus scoffed at her comments. "Not all of us are so superficial about our appearances that we want our faces to look like a tapestry made by a toddler." Effervescence twitched. "My dear, sweet nephew." She jumped off her throne and slammed into the ground, right in front of Stelimus. Judging by how deep her legs went, it looked like she weighed several hundred kilos or pounds. "I think we should go with Diva to a private salon, then to a weapons shop." "Weapons shop? What for?" "Because my specially designed equipment is the most essential to any warrior in my genealogy, and I'm the only one with a fashion designer that makes weapons and swords. He is quite exquisite at it as well," she bragged. "She really has nothing to brag about. It's like throwing yarn at a falling climber and then getting surprised as to why the string didn't hold their weight." Stelimus shivered. "Woah. That was too dark for my tastes." "You'll be more than happy with what you're given. Everyone will love you like this. Now, let us be away." "Of course, my queen. Right this way," Diva invited. "Queen? Shouldn't you be married to fit that title?" Stelimus asked his aunt. "Our queen's beauty and ability transcend such social needs. She is a queen as she is and no one could befit her tastes and appearance," Diva 'assured'. "I do not require a 'mate', Stelimus. I'm above such carnal needs." "When you put on so much perfume you would kill all the mosquitoes in Africa? I doubt you're doing this just for your 'extravagance'. Someone is ronery." The group stopped in front of a gate made from intertwined thorns of a black color. Through the few slits that Stelimus could see, there was a rather open area in the forest with a ray of light coming through the tree branches above. The grass was golden with this circle of druids and there were a few things moving about within it as well as what appeared to be several stone tables and holes everywhere. Diva poked the wall with her hooves and the thorns retracted almost as quickly, leaving Stelimus to see that this was indeed a regular spa out in the open of nature, although 'open' wouldn't quite befit he situation as the trees surrounding this little haven were grown so closely together that not even light was capable of passing through them. "Please, right this way." The three walked up to a stallion and doe that welcomed their guests. The stallion had a black eye-patch over his right eye and fur missing from that side, and the doe looked unusually muscular despite her slender frame. "Welcome to the Strengthening Spa, my queen." The stallion bowed with a hoof to his chest. "We are most delighted to see you come to this place," the mare added. She had a Japanese accent, if Gregary wasn't being racist and recognized accents. Ah, the wonders of the modern world. EVERYTHING is racist! "So, what can we do for you?" the stallion asked. "My nephew here," Effervescence put a foreleg around Stelimus and pulled him right against her. "was in the swamps for several weeks and has certainly not bathed at the same time." "I can quite honestly say that I can smell him," Diva said. "I'm surprised you can smell anything anymore when staying next to the rafflesia flower." Stelimus pat his muzzle several times. "I can feel my nose killing itself as we speak." The spa couple chuckled at the comment but, when they caught sight of their queen's glare, they immediately became quiet and looked down. "Hohoho. That is quite drôle, but I believe a good bathing session would do you well, nnnnnnephew." "R-r-right this way, your majesty," the stallion said. Stelimus walked away with his head held high and imitating his aunt's method of watching with extreme exaggeration. "Calm down, Effervescence. Your work here will serve its purpose. His sister will come running back to me and I'll make them love me, just like all the other fools here." Stelimus was placed in front of what looked like a water slide built into the ground. There was a large opening right next to it where water was somehow flying up the tunnel and into a crevice just below the exit. "Wait, how is that even possible?" "In you go!" the stallion said. He kicked Stelimus into the water slide tunnel through which the prince screamed the whole way until he managed to adjust himself so his face was facing forward. This was literally a water slide and he was getting plastered with water as every few feet stood a wall of water pouring from above. After about ten walls, the young stag started getting sprayed by soapy water and foam that didn't sting his eyes in the slightest. It was rather enjoyable to not have the horrid sensation. Nobody liked it, after all. After a while, he went through more walls, was blow-dried by what appeared to be gigantic, cone shaped flytraps, then shot out the exit like a rocket. The stallion intercepted him with a well placed towel and swung the stag around like a rock in a slingshot before landing him back onto the ground. "That was...awesome! Let's do it again!" Stelimus shouted. "Yes. Most of the young ones love the slide while the elders are too afraid and refuse to go back in it, but that's the point of this strengthening spa. It's to toughen you up, both physically and appearance-wise." Stelimus stretched out, cracking his back in the process. "Yeah. I can tell," he strained. "So, what's my aunt doing?" The stallion pointed to the doe on one of the stone tables. It appeared to be heating up due to...something. The doe taking care of Effervescence would occasionally kick the main pedestal of the table for reasons unknown, but she was busy massaging her queen whose face was covered in a purple paste. Her antlers were also wrapped up in some sort of blue leaf, but Stelimus had no idea what they were. She seemed extremely relaxed and practically asleep by this point. This gave the prince an optimal opportunity to devise a prank. He spotted a few slugs and snails nearby and wrapped them up in some spirit essence then approached the spa doe and pushed her away. Stelimus used his best attempt at a Japanese accent "Now, we are going to use a special brew that will enrich your fur and make it softer, stronger, and more resplendent than ever." Stelimus starting posing the slugs and snails on his aunt. "We just received it recently and tested out the product to be CERTAIN it wouldn't have any nauseous effects on your beauty. I'm puking internally." The stag threw some spirit essence at the doe, giving it the appearance of slug slime and galloping away. It was so she wouldn't get blamed for what the prince had done. Of course, that wasn't all he did. He also covered a large portion of the spa with slime as well to make the idea more convincing. When he was at the entrance, he pitched his voice as high as he could and screamed, then he fled towards the throne and waited patiently. "I got a bath. I don't need anything else, Stelimus thought to himself.