Twilight walks down the crowed streets of Canterlot, which is lined up to the edge of the city's limits where a pony could fall to their death, when she heard music coming from inside of the building to the left of her. As she moves forward, it grew louder and louder. It sounded like it could be some kind of string instrument. It sounded like nothing she has heard before.
Finally, she finds what it sounds like it could be coming from. And, that was a big surprise to her. From the opposite side of the window of a small building, she reads the sign, "Welcome to Ivanhoof's World of Books."
There is no doubt that the strange music is coming from inside this bookstore that Twilight was looking for after hearing that it opening recently. But, why would there be music from inside?
Underneath the title, there is more that seems to answer her question: "Free Public Dancing."
"Okay."
However, since she came all this way to find it, she might as well go take a look. She walks up to the front door and let herself in.
Immediately right next to the entrance, she finds three ponies up next to the corner. A brown Earth Pony is sitting on a chair, strumming along on a guitar-like instrument to the same tune she heard outside, its body in a triangular shape. The other two, a Blue Pegasus and a Green Unicorn, are one their hind legs, dancing somewhat rhythmically to the tune. All three of them are stallions and they are wearing the same outfits of a black hat and suit. And, she can tell that they are wearing fake beards by large gap in between their chins and the beard themselves.
The store itself is quite modest with its white walls and black selves. As she looks around, though, she cannot help but feel that something is missing here.
Something wrong.
She walks up to the counter, still feeling a little incredulous about what she is seeing. She quickly rang the bell, but she cannot seem to take her eyes off this strange performance. It's actually a bit silly to watch.
From the side door behind the counter, a white Earth Pony with a black handlebar moustache walks out.
"Good afternoon, ma'am."
"Oh, good afternoon," she greeted, now able to ignore the "performance." "I was walking down the street this morning, after associating myself with the princess for some tea, when I start to feel a little...disinterested."
"Disinterested, ma'am?"
"Blasé."
"Huh?"
"I'm bored."
"Oh, is that so?"
"Exceedingly, my good stallion. And, I've heard that a new business that sells my favorite things have opened while I was withdrawn from this fine capital. So, I've decided to curtail my way down here to infiltrate this establishment in order to locate a fine piece of composition for me to construe."
...
"I'm sorry?"
"I like to buy a book."
The book store owner laughs a little. "Oh, forgive me. I thought you were complaining about the music."
"Oh, Celestia forbids," she said, looking, once again, behind, hoping not to look rude, "I always enjoy a good performance of acoustic melody accompanied with frolic movements of the body."
"Excuse me?"
With a big smile, "I like the dancing music you are putting up over there."
Pinkie Pie: Anyways...
"Who said that?" said the bookstore keeper as he looks around to find the culprit. But, Twilight seems to be unaffected.
"Now then, my good stallion," Twilight said, "I would like to purchase a book."
"Oh, of course, ma'am," he said, forgetting about it. "What can I get you?"
"Um...I was wondering if you could get me that one William Shakesmare's play I've been hearing about, uh, Coltiolanus, if you please?"
"Oh, I'm afraid that we don't have that in stock, yet."
"Oh, that's quite alright. Um...well, how about The Adventures of Buckleberry Finn? I've been hearing good things about that one."
"Yes, yes, a fine book, indeed. But, I'm afraid that we don't have that one, either."
"Oh, never mind, then. ...I guess...Don Quicolte will have to do, if you please?"
"Oh, bad luck, ma'am. We've just sold the last copy this morning."
Twilight look at him, a little incredulous. "Really?"
The bookstore keeper fervently nodded his head.
"...Okay. Uh...how about Sense and Sense-a-filly?"
"Well, I did make an order about a week ago . It should have arrived this morning."
Twilight's eye is starting to twitch a little, but she held it in. "Today's not my day, is it?" The bookstore keeper seems to agree a little as he slowly nods his head. "Um...The Pegaswiss Family Robinson?"
"Sorry."
"David Coltperfield?"
"No."
"A Farewell to Hooves?"
"No."
"Journey to the Center of Equestria?"
"No."
"Of Mice and Stallions?"
"No."
"The Three Crusaders?"
"No."
"The Hunchback of Norte-Mane?"
"No."
"A Tale of Two Fillies?"
Thinks about it. "No."
Twilight is starting to lose her patience a bit. "Well, what about...uh...The Great Trixie, I think it was called?"
"Actually, that's the The Great and Powerful Autobiography of The Great and Powerful Trixie, and, no, we don't have that one."
"Darn it!" She was kind of looking forward to that one. "Uh...All Quiet on the Eastern Plot?"
"No."
"Profiles in Harmony?"
"No."
"The Old Mare and the Sea?"
"No."
"Dr. Filly and Mr. Colt?"
"No."
"Lord of the Parasprites?"
"No."
"Frankenstallion?"
"No."
"Mane in the Wind?"
"No."
"Equestria Lost?"
"N-Oh, wait. Yes, yes, we do have one here."
"Oh, that's great," Twilight said, getting a little tired of this guessing game.
"Um," the bookstore keeper said, looking down behind the counter. "It's, uh...it's a little...stained."
"Oh, that's alright. I don't mind it at all." She just wants to get a book and get the heck out of this place.
"Well, it is very, very stained."
"No problem, no problem at all. I would like that one copy of Equestria Lost, if you please?"
...
...
"I think it's more stained then you like it-"
Twilight slams her two hooves on the counter, and said in greeted teeth, "I don't care how exceedingly stained it is, just hand it over at all speed, please?"
"Y-Yes, ma'am." He reaches down to grab it. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!" he cried out in despair with his hooves over his head.
Twilight looks at him in surprise. "...What?"
"Dog ate it."
He said it as if this happens everyday. "Has he?"
"She, ma'am."
You know, that music is starting to get on my nerves. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she press on. "Buck Club?"
"No."
"Fahrenheit 421?"
"No."
"The Cookie Jar?"
"No."
"Invisible Mane?"
"No."
"On Pony Bondage?"
"No."
"You do sell books here, right?"
"Why, of course, ma'am. It is a book store, after all. We have all kinds of genres from many great writers. Why, some of our most popular books-"
"No, no, no, please. I like to guess."
"Fair enough."
"Mmmm...Ivanhoof?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Oh, finally. I like to have that one, please?" she said, smiling brightly.
The bookstore keeper looked a bit confused. "Oh. I thought you are referring to me; Mr. Ivanhoof."
Twilight loses her smile, and continues on through her baited teeth. "Battlefield Equestria?"
"No."
"Kon-Pinkie?"
"No."
"Sherlock Hooves?"
"No."
"An Equestrian Comedy?"
"No."
"Equestrian Silly Pony, perhaps?"
"No."
"Uh, how about Party Cannons, Parasprites, and Pointy Things? Or, what about How Apple Cider Saved Equestria?" And, I sure need one, after this.
"That would be a double no, ma'am."
"Ugh," Twilight holds her head as a headache seems to be forming. "I think the writer is starting to run out of puns."
"It would seems so," the bookstore keeper agreed.
"Oh, well, I guess it can't be helped, then. I'll just have to keep this simple. What about The Art of the To-Do List?"
"Oh, I'm afraid that we don't get that much call for that book."
"NOT MUCH CALL?!" Twilight yells, slamming her hooves on the counter. "IT IS, LIKE, THE SINGLE MOST POPULAR BOOK IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA!"
Unaffected, he says, "Not around these here parts, it isn't."
"Then, what, pray tell, is the most popular book in these here parts?"
"Mane Kampf."
...
...
"Really?"
"Yes."
"That's your most popular book?"
"Oh, yes. It is very popular, indeed."
"Is it?"
"Oh, yes. It's our number one seller!
"Is it?"
He nods enthusiastically.
The purple unicorn draws in a very deep breath. "Mane Kampf, you say?" She taps her bottom lip with her left hoof. "Alright, I'm game. Do you have what I'm suspecting would be the answer 'No?'"
"Huh, let me go have a little peek." He walks away, leaving behind a ready to explode unicorn, course he does not know that. As he wave his hoof in the air, "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh-ooooooooooooooooh-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-No."
Twilight, swallowing whatever feeling she had in this bookstore, has to say this. "You know, now that I've think about it and took a good look around a bit, this place is not much of a bookstore, wouldn't you agreed?"
"Finest in the city, ma'am."
"And, what led you to that conclusion?"
Confused, he answers, "Why, it's so clean."
"Well, it, certainly, is uncontaminated by books."
"Well, you've haven't ask about..." He looks both ways, then he motions her forwards with a wave of his hoof. And, in a whisper, "Twilight."
The unicorn looks at him with squinting eyes. "Is it worth it?"
"Could be."
She let herself another round of air. "Alright, fine. Have you got-WILL YOU SHUT THAT #$@&ING DANCING MUSIC UP?!?"
The two dancers and the guitar player stop instantly, looking at the purple unicorn with a surprise look.
"Told you so," the bookstore keeper said, pointing at them.
She clears her throat, turning to the Earth Pony that she is one step away from hurting. Real bad. "Now, then. Do you have Twilight?"
"No."
"Yeah, figures. I knew you were going to say that. It was just blind optimism that forced me to ask that stupid question in the first place." She calms herself down a bit. "Okay, look, be straight with me. Do you have any books, at all, here?"
"Yes, ma'am."
...
"Now, I'm going to ask you that question one more time. And, if you say 'No," I'm going to throw you off the side of this mountain. Now. Do you have any books, at all?"
"No."
Blanketing him with her magic, and with one swing of her body, she hurled the Earth Pony from behind the counter, out the window, and over the side of the mountain.
Which, all the while, he was giving off a very girly scream.
"What a waste of pony life."
She walks past the three scared ponies that are pressed up against the corner of the so-called bookstore and walks out the door.
She figures she will have to cut this trip short. She has this feeling of wanting to see her beloved library in Ponyville again.