//------------------------------//
// Chapter III 
// Story: My Life As an Underappreciated Ponyville Nurse 
// by Sailor_Pluto 
//------------------------------//

I heard a faint knock upon the door to my examination room. I sat my Ponik's Cube down and trotted over leisurely to open it. Standing in front of me was a purple mare with a boring mane, violet eyes, and wings that aren't so awesome as ponies say they are.

"Hey, Nurse Redheart," Twilight said in a gross nasally voice. "Um...I think I'm sick."

"Your voice sounds gross," I informed her nicely. "You should maybe do something about that."

She smiled, even though it made her look like a schmuck. Is that the right word? Probably. "Yeah, I'm here to do something about it."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, that was stupid of you. You can't come here without an appointment, even if you are a princess."

Twilight's smile got a little bit bigger. Seriously, does she not get that I don't like her? "You're right, Nurse. Sorry, I'll go back out to the waiting room."

"Couldn't you just use magic to cure yourself?"

Twilight laughed sheepishly. "Um...unfortunately, no. There...aren't really any spells that cure sicknesses. Unless you go to Zecora, but I don't feel well enough to trek all the way through the Everfree Forest..."

What. A. B*tch.

"Sit down," I said, gesturing to the examination table. "I mean, you're already here. Might as well."

"Is that really logical?" Twilight asked. Nonetheless, she clopped over to the table and took a seat on it. "There are other ponies waiting, right?"

"Nah, probably not." I shrugged. "But that didn't stop you from sitting down anyway, did it?" I grabbed my clipboard and scrawled Twilight's name across the top. "I'm going to list off some things to you, alright?"

Twilight nodded. "Okay."

"Sneezing?"

"Sometimes."

I nodded and checked a box off on the paper. "Coughing?"

"Excessively."

"Mm hm. Watering eyes?"

"Yes."

"Nausea?"

"No."

"Swelling anywhere?"

"No."

"Any burns?"

"What? No. I'm pretty sure I just have a cold."

I snorted. "Yeah, I'll be the one to decide that, Princess. Lastly, are you having hallucinations?"

"What?"

"Y'know, hallucinations," I said, waving one of my forehooves around. "Seeing things that aren't there."

"I know what hallucinations are," Twilight said, looking confused. God, she can't even admit when she's wrong, huh? She obviously doesn't know what hallucinations are. "But no, I'm not having them."

"I see." I stared at the paper for a minute, then set the clipboard aside. "Well, Princess, I've made my assessment."

"Yes?"

"You've got a common cold."

Twilight's ears flopped to her side, and her red watery eyes became half-lidded. "...Nurse, I came here because I knew that already. Do you have any medicine I could use?"

"No. I'm afraid that all you can do is keep yourself hydrated, eat soup, and get plenty of rest. How hellish that must be for you."

Twilight made a slightly funny face, like she wasn't exactly sure what I was saying and trying to cover up the fact that she was making such a face. Seriously, she's not as smart as everypony thinks she is. I mean, she can barely understand what I'm saying. "...Well, I did have a lot of stuff to get done this weekend...and a picnic to go to...but I'm sure I can reschedule things and make it all work for me." She beamed at me. "If you say I need rest, then believe me, I'm going to get rest!"

"...Right. Well, now that we know what's wrong with you, you're free to go. So leave." Twilight didn't seem to pick up that fact that I simply didn't want her there, but she got up and headed out the door.

"Thank you so much, Nurse," she said, smiling at me again.

"I barely did anything. Really, you wasted your time coming here," I informed her. "Goodbye." I slammed my door in her face, then picked up the Ponik's Cube and sat down on the table to finish what I had started before I was so rudely interrupted.

When I had been assured that she was gone by the sound of her hooves clopping further away, I glared up at the door. "You dumb b*tch."