//------------------------------// // Teen Drama Sucks for Everyone Involved // Story: Principal Celestia Hunts the Undead // by Rune Soldier Dan //------------------------------// “Chrysalis.” A word, its context lost in the crowded lunchroom. Nearly destroyed by the bouncing gossip, yet it crossed the tables to reach a certain set of yellow ears. Sunset’s eyes snapped wide, her mind suddenly far, far away from the Rainbooms’ topic of conversation. The rumored taste of Celestia’s hair… not so interesting, anymore. “Excuse me,” she mumbled, rising and striding away in a hurry. “Should’ve peed after math!” Rainbow called out after her. But Sunset’s ears were all forward. Who said the name? Where? Why? Redheart’s report had confirmed her fears, but that left the equally-large question of what to do about it. The hunters knew nothing of Chrysalis’ motives or powers, or how changelings even worked in this world. A blind assault on her mansion would be asking for disaster. They needed information, which meant any thread on that word was worth a tug. “Chrysalis.” There it was again. Over at that table, where Flax Seed was glaring at… …Aw, nuts. “Way to sell out to The Man, Flash.” “Come on,” the blue-haired rocker grumbled. “I sweep ‘The Man’s’ floors. And Queen Chrysalis offers loans for workers who go to college, so that’s really my best bet of nailing down a good job in Canterlot. If we all stay in the city we can keep the band going, and–” “Flash.” The boys turned to the speaker: red haired, green-eyed Sunset Shimmer. She swallowed. Excluding Miss Harshwhinny, there was no one in the school she wanted to talk to less than Flash Sentry. Least of all with a shady matter that needed a lot of trust – a quality in short supply between them. No choice, though. Lives were on the line. She sighed, forced her eyes to meet his, and said, “We need to talk.” It had to be a private place. Fortunately, the end of the day brought a mass desertion of the classrooms, and one of them suited the role nicely. Flash seated himself on Mr. Whooves’ desk, perched towards the side. Sunset leaned against the windows, facing him. Even with what she knew and what she needed… it was hard to start. The two had existed in a state of awkward disengagement since the Fall Formal, pointedly avoiding any direct interaction. There were just too many bad memories between them. No, not ‘bad memories.’ Her neutral mouth turned to a frown. Too many good memories. Too much time convincing him that I was misunderstood. A victim of rumors. Like a house of cards, blown down when he learned just how right they were. “I need you to keep a secret.” No sense dancing around the issue. Time was precious. So was trust. Flash tapped a foot against the desk, regarding her evenly. “The last time you told me that…” “I know.” I broke Photo Finish’s camera when she dared take pictures of other Spring Fling contestants. Then I banged her hand in a door as punishment… and then, Flash stepped into view. The day we broke up. And all I can say is, ‘Good for him.’ “Okay, this is pretty hard.” Sunset shrugged. At least Flash seemed as uncomfortable as she was. “So why don’t I trust you first, and tell you some things I don’t want other people to hear. Then you can decide what to do with it.” He grunted an assent, and Sunset let fly. “Queen Chrysalis Tobacco. Named for its CEO, Miss Katydid Chrysalis.” Flash settled a chin in his palm, groaning. “Jeez, not you, too… I sweep floors and wash windows. It’s not like I drive to grade schools and hand out cigarettes.” “No, Flash, this isn’t some moral lecture.” Sunset grimaced, cutting to the chase. “It’s about her. Chrysalis. She’s a changeling.” “Huh?” “A creature from Equestria.” Or from Earth. I don’t really know. Surprising even herself, the half-truth rolled easily off Sunset’s tongue. She liked to think that she was protecting Flash – he might never sleep again if he learned Earth had its own monsters. A tiny voice in her mind offered another explanation: Sunset had lied to Flash so many times that it was second nature by now. Ignoring the musings, she pressed on. “They can take any shape. And ones like Chrysalis are smart enough to mimic anyone. She could be living a dozen different lives, and no one would be the wiser.” “That doesn’t necessarily mean she’s evil.” Flash’s words brought a brief smile to Sunset. Even after his experience with her, he presumed the good in people. This time, like then, he was wrong. “She’s impersonating the wife of RichCorp’s CEO. I’m not planning on running up and shooting her, but this is shady enough that I want to look into it. And I’m asking for your help with that.” Right. ‘I’ want to look. No need to tell him about the faculty. “You… want me to spy for you?” It didn’t come out like an accusation – Flash seemed genuinely curious. “I work in the factory. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen Miss Chrysalis.” Thoughts of Flash as a spy made Sunset grimace. She’d long since learned he lacked the nerve – and to be honest, the brains – for anything that involved quick thinking or deception. “No, don’t spy or anything. Just keep an eye out, okay? Let me know if you see anything unusual. Given what’s involved, if it seems fishy, it probably is.” “Roger.” Flash’s wide, boyish eyes looked readily to Sunset. “If that’s all, no problem. You can count on me.” Then, an effacing smile. “Though I guess you won’t know if I’ve been replaced by a body snatcher.” This time, Sunset met the gaze easily. She gave a soft laugh and shook her head. “No worries, there. Their queens are the only ones smart enough to mimic personalities. Most changelings are drones, and would blow any impersonation the minute they opened their mouths.” At least… Equestrian ones would. But on Earth, who knows? More doubts. But now wasn’t the time. She would do more research this evening. “Thanks for this, Flash.” Finally, her gaze slid from those soft blue eyes. Flash was as earnest as ever. As much of a Boy Scout as he was three years ago, when Sunset asked him how fingers worked. Here she was, throwing another weird set of things at him, and he was taking it in stride. Like he never changed. Better still… she had. “I wish it was about something more pleasant, but I’m glad to talk to you again. I, uh…” Sunset grinned shyly, green eyes slipping to and away. “I hope we can keep talking.” “Yeah.” She saw Flash’s shoulders move in a shrug. “That’d be cool.” Then, a sly, joking grin. “Presuming that you’re not a changeling trying to trick me.” Sunset shook her head. “Like I said: queens and drones. They’re more like a cult than a B-movie.” Her lips straightened, eyes returning to the side. “Although… I think I’ll write to Pony Twilight. She probably knows more about them than me.” The smile returned as her gaze drifted back to Flash. “Want me to give a message for you?” “Hm? Nah.” Flash didn’t get doe-eyed or awkward. He scratched an ear, frowned, and looked away. His mouth worked a couple times with unspoken words, eyebrows furrowed above. Sunset leaned back against the window and waited for the rest. A few more tries, and the confession came out. “I mean… the last two visits she didn’t even give me the time of day.” He shrugged, mouth twisting to a wry smile. “That says it all, you know? No sense trying to force it.” “Oh, Flash.” Sunset took a step closer, meeting his glance with softened eyes. “I’m sorry.” She meant it, too. Flash was neither brilliant nor brave, and was denser than most. But his heart had always been in the right place, and he followed it when push came to shove. He deserved better than two heartbreaks in a row. “It’s okay.” He shrugged it off, as all boys try. “It’s not like we were ever really together. And hey – I got friends here.” He flashed Sunset a grin with those last words – a little unsteady, but still the bright, lopsided Flash Sentry smile. He would be alright. “You do.” Sunset nodded, beaming back at him. “Right here.” Flash slid from the desk, letting gravity rather than muscles do the work. Hands behind his head, he gave a casual, “Later,” and turned to stride off. A thought hit Sunset, and she grinned inside. Go for it, girl. “Hey, one more thing.” The internal grin wilted as the blue eyes greeted her once more. Sunset shrunk away from them, discarding everything she had been about to say in favor of a mumbled, “Never mind.” Sunset rolled her eyes, berating herself as Flash turned back to the door and passed through. Really, girl? You’ve faced down sirens, magic maniacs, and the undead. You fought a vampire and horde of zombies literally last week, and THIS is freaking you out? Steeled and grim, she followed Flash to the hallway, high boots clicking on the tiled floor. Quoth the Harshwhinny: put on your big-girl panties! “Flash!” He turned again, his friendly expression replaced by curiosity. Sunset almost aborted once more, but forced herself forwards in the empty hall. “Listen: over the last week, my life’s been turned upside down. Again. I’m in a weird situation, weird things keep happening around me… I, I want some stability. I want something normal, and I…” She braced and let fly. “I want us to try again. None of the bullshit candlelit dinners and sailboats I used to drag you to, I want to be normal. Grab pizza, watch you practice, and then sneak into an ‘R’ rated movie with you. Forget for a while that being a magic pony from another dimension is *not* the weirdest part of my life and just… you know. Give it a go.” Flash hesitated – and there was the answer. He would’ve spoken if it was a yes. Or at least he would have smiled, delaying the words until the ‘cool’ ones came to him. Flash was smiling, but it was a lame, nervous chuckle. He had a bad habit of trying to defuse problems with humor. “Sorry. I, uh… After two tries, I’m kind of done with dating magic ponies.” Oh, well. The rejection stung less than Sunset imagined. At least her good humor was still intact. She pursed her lips, looking at him with mock severity. “Racist.” Flash’s smile widened – still weak, but at least the ice was broken. “Does it still count as racist if I’ve been burned twice?” The smile fell, growing softer and more real. “Sunset, hey: I’m sorry. But I’m looking for someone normal, too. Magic and monsters and stuff… that’s not for me. To be honest, I’m gonna be happy to leave it behind when I graduate.” Sunset breathed a sigh and glanced away. I hope you can. When she looked back, an extended hand hovered before her. “Friends?” She didn’t need to think about it. Sunset grasped the palm, smiling readily. “Friends.” Things could’ve gone better. But it was alright. She sighed again, waving as Flash departed down the hallway. “Ouch.” At the familiar voice, Sunset turned. Applejack and Rainbow stood behind her, having clearly heard the discussion. The former wore an empathetic, uncomfortable frown, while the cyan-skinned speaker had a cheering smile. “Well, don’t worry about it.” Rainbow gave a dismissive wave. “Plenty of trees in the woods, if you know what I mean.” Had she been more distraught, Sunset might have been miffed at Rainbow’s brusque attempt at sympathy. As it stood, she shrugged. “Thanks.” “Aw, c’mere, Sugar.” Sunset blinked as Applejack closed in, wrapping her in a tight hug. The farm girl was normally the least huggy-feely of the Rainbooms, and the quick, unhesitating move brought Sunset’s heart to her mouth. This wasn’t a friendly hug so much as a “smell the apple-scented deodorant as she presses you into her shoulder” hug. It wasn’t a bad smell, but Sunset had to breathe. And the feel of Applejack’s breasts pushing her own made things just weird enough for her to pull away fast. “Sorry,” Applejack said quickly, seeming to notice Sunset’s bemused expression. “Ah know what heartache’s like.” Rainbow snorted, and lowly stretched the word, “Gaaaaaay.” Applejack shot a glare backwards, and was met with a challenging smirk. The customary expressions of the pair’s rivalry. “Thanks, AJ, but I’m cool.” Sunset shrugged again, frowning. “And don’t start fighting, okay?” Maybe it was her tone that stopped them. The morose tinge of a shot-down teenager. One way or another, the challenge dropped and both their attentions returned to her. Rainbow gave a cheeky grin and jerked a thumb away. “Well hey, girl, it’s Friday. Let’s hit the karaoke bar and forget all about him. My treat – I’ve got some leftover birthday money that needs blowing.” “Hm, nah.” Despite the refusal, Sunset smiled warmly at her. “Thanks for having my back, though. Both of you. But...” Changelings. “…I’ve got a big research project I want to get started on.” “Uh, Earth to Sunset,” Rainbow waved. “It’s Friday.” At Sunset’s deadpan glare, Rainbow threw up her arms and laughed. “Message received! Just remember: call me if you need anything, okay?” “Okay, Dash.” Applejack lingered as Rainbow departed, green eyes locked on Sunset’s own. She had something to say, though was kind enough to hold it until Rainbow was gone. “Y’all know we have the same classes, right?” The now-familiar panicked grin locked on Sunset’s face as Applejack went on in a knowing voice. “So, uh, maybe Ah missed the memo about the research project. What class is it for, again?” “It’s… extracurricular.” Not exactly a lie, but the hesitation did its damage. “Consarn it, girl!” Applejack snarled, swiping an angry hand through her straight blonde hair. “Iffin’ you want some alone time, there ain’t no reason to go making up stories for it. Just pony up and tell us where we can stick ourselves! Ah ain’t much for karaoke mahself, you know. Too noisy, and nobody likes mah songs. But damn it, every time Ah see you lie with a straight face like that it corks me something fierce.” “H-hey, I’m not lying.” Sunset raised her hands, keeping the defensiveness out of her voice. “It’s something for the principals. You know, about magic and stuff.” Applejack reddened instantly and looked away, giving a glower that was all for herself. “Aw, dang. Ah did it again, running mah mouth ahead of mah brain. Sorry, Sunset. Ten months since that Anon-a-Miss hoodiddy, and Ah ain’t learned a thing.” “Hey, don’t beat yourself up.” Despite having broken the last contact, now it was Sunset’s turn to pat a shoulder. “A misunderstanding, easily fixed. No harm done.” “Shoot, you’re the best of us, Sunny.” Applejack gave an embarrassed smile, brushing her fingers to Sunset’s. “Only because I have such good teachers.” Sunset beamed back. “Ha! Well, iffin’ you’re up for a little learning today, how ‘bout we head to the farm and do some shootin’ together? Don’t gotta talk much, or think too hard. Just point, click, pow.” Applejack mimed a gunshot with her forefinger. “Kinda therapeutic, goin’ through the motions of it. If your project won’t keep Ah understand. But you won’t do good with it if you spend the whole evening hung up on Flash and whatever else you’re dealin’ with.” Initially, Sunset’s lips moved to refuse. She was not ‘hung up’ on Flash, or ‘dealing with’ anything. Her brain caught up first, though, and reminded her. She was hung up on Flash – or at least, had been before they imperfectly patched things between them. And she was definitely dealing with changes in her life. She confessed as much to Flash, right in front of Applejack, and it was just as true now. The last few weeks had been a whirlwind. …Yeah. She needed a break. “I’m in.” Sunset sighed, feeling a bit of tension go out. “You gotta drive me to Miss Celestia’s house afterwards, though.” “Of course, Sugar.” Applejack beamed, freckles glowing as they caught the light. “I’ll get the truck. It’s a date!” “Wait, what do you mean d–” But Applejack was already bounding down the hallway. Sunset shook her head, smiled wryly, and followed, wondering if this would really be less stressful than the work. *THOOM* The bottle exploded. Sunset released a husky, happy breath and lowered the muzzle. With now-practiced motion, she cracked open the shotgun and slid in a new shell. No zombies clawing at her. No Harshwhinny to undercut her. No Luna at the firing range, correcting her with every shot. Nope. Just her, Applejack, and post after post of cans and bottles being sent to scrap heaven. And the shotgun, of course. Maybe it was strange to be so at peace here, methodically firing the biggest weapon she had ever held. But it felt nice. Soothing. In a way, the first time she’d relaxed since the Friendship Games. Sunset was an active spirit who didn’t seek idle tranquility, but it wasn’t so bad when it came to her. *THOOM* Almost perfect. Beside her, a revolver fired, neatly knocking off an old bean tin. Almost perfect. Applejack hadn’t spoken much, perhaps grasping Sunset’s desire for peaceful rhythm. She had explained the new weapons, of course, but otherwise left Sunset to it save for the odd pointer. And the odd… other thing. “So, Sunset: you plannin’ on taking a break from the ol’ dating market, or you stayin’ in?” Sunset wasn’t here to talk romance. She was here to indulge a newfound appreciation for human weapons and maybe chillax a little. But Applejack needled the subject often enough to get her thinking, a thing she decisively did not feel like doing. “Nice havin’ you over, Sunset. We should hang out more, jes’ the two of us.” “Don’t worry too much about Flash. Better to date a friend, you know? Someone who already knows and likes you jes’ fine.” Sunset had ignored the first few hints. But memories of the hug and Applejack’s use of the D-word crept to mind, and now she wondered. “So…” Applejack began again, making conversation as natural as a unicorn on Earth. “You can, uh, stay late if you want to. M-maybe we can knock out our homework together or somethin’.” It was time to ask. “AJ, are you hitting on me?” A pause. Sunset looked, seeing smoke jet from the pistol as Applejack sent another can spinning to the ground. The blonde girl lowered the gun to eye her handiwork, steady frown on her face. “Pretty obvious, huh?” “Yeah,” Sunset admitted. She was now turned fully to the side, but her shooting partner kept her eyes on the targets. “Listen…” “You ain’t into girls, right?” Another gunshot, and another fallen can. Sunset only nodded, but Applejack must have caught the gesture from the corner of her eye. “Well Ah ain’t really girly, you know. If you like guys because they got no tits and are tough and gross, Ah got ‘em beat.” “AJ…” “Ah know, Ah know, that’s stupid talk.” Still steadfastly avoiding eye contact, Applejack opened her revolver and began to reload. “Ah mean, it’s not like Ah don’t know that you dated Flash for two years. What did Ah think was gonna happen?” “You okay?” Sunset asked. She had no idea what the right thing to say here was, so she went with her gut. “Fine,” Applejack said, too quickly and grimly. She snapped the loaded pistol back into place and fired again, glaring over the gunsights. She offered no more. Another few minutes of wordless shooting passed, lacking even an ounce of its former relaxation. The peripheral awkwardness had now settled between them, robbing Sunset of her meditative peace. She wondered if she screwed up by asking… no. It would have come up sooner or later. Better to nip it in the bud now, before their friendship was damaged. If it wasn’t already. Sunset cleared her throat as they walked over to set up new targets. “Hey.” “Hm?” Applejack’s grunt had no anger, but she still avoided looking at Sunset. “Uh,” Sunset coughed for time, hoping her unplanned words would heal instead of hurt. “Every teen movie I’ve ever seen says we have to stop being friends because of this. Can we skip that?” Applejack barked a laugh and finally looked to her. The bright green eyes were soft, and not uninjured. But the freckled face was turned upwards with the tenacious, open-hearted cheer that had always marked the girl. “Sure as sugar, Sugar. This all never happened.” That wasn’t right. “No,” Sunset said. “It did. And we’re still friends, so come here.” The two locked into a tight hug, which ended abruptly as Applejack took advantage to give Sunset a noogie. Laughing and sputtered protests, Sunset ducked away. “Same old, same old.” Applejack seemed to say the words more to herself than Sunset. The distant eyes refocused, smiling back to her shooting partner. “One more fence, or done for the day?” “One more fence.” The end of the evening had been the best part. With the air cleared, Sunset was able to get back into her rhythm and pass a nice, peaceful hour blowing holes in Applejack’s junk. The ride home had been filled with the farm girl’s usual gossip, and it was dusk by the time they reached Celestia’s house. A wave, a final hug – that was admittedly awkward with them both in seatbelts – and Sunset jumped out. With a cheerful “See you Monday!” Applejack eased off the brakes and sped her family pickup away. Sunset rolled her shoulders, only now feeling the awful ache coming into them after firing the shotgun so many times. “Ugh, I’m gonna feel this in the morning.” Changelings. “Not that ‘morning’ is coming any time soon.” She shrugged, wincing as even that pinched the abused muscle. “I have to research Chrysalis, write Princess Twilight, see if humans have changeling myths… yeesh. I wonder if the principals even bother with this kind of thing? I haven’t seen any tomes or files or any–” The door slammed open, jolting her from the train of thought. Celestia was stepping out even before it opened all the way, and closed it with violent speed. While her trademark purple slacks were still on, her blouse and coat had been traded for a white button-down shirt, with occupied holsters at her hip and armpit. A third holster was in her hand, though a second later she tossed it to Sunset. Sunset bobbled her pistol, barely grabbing it before Celestia seized her arm and hustled towards the curb. As they set foot on the sidewalk, a blue SUV screeched alongside. Celestia snapped open the back door, pushed Sunset inside, and followed, squishing against her. The door hadn’t even closed while she shouted, “We’re in, go, go!” Obediently the car squealed forwards, knocking the entangled pair around. Sunset briefly saw Miss Cheerilee and Mister Doodle in the front two seats before Celestia’s hair collapsed over her. Some even got in her mouth, and contrary to school rumor it did not… …Actually, it did taste like cotton candy. But that was neither here nor there. “What the hell is going on!?” The world didn’t stop for Sunset’s scream. The car lurched with a two-wheel turn, sending her and Celestia crashing into the left door. “Two minutes before we hit Everfree!” Cheerilee shouted from behind the wheel. “Everyone, get ready!” “Ready for what!?” “There’s no time to explain!” Cheerilee shot back. “Same as before, Sunset.” Even Celestia’s eternally-calm voice was frayed. “There are bad guys threatening innocents, we’re going to stop them. I’m sorry, we do not have the luxury of time.” “An emergency, got it.” Sunset managed to remove herself from Celestia and fit her seat-belt in place. “I just wasn’t expecting this. You don’t have to apologize.” Celestia smiled and patted her arm, setting a warm glow in Sunset’s heart. “I’m proud of you. And just like last time, you won’t face this alone.” Sunset nodded, and turned her head to the window. Cheerilee’s breakneck pace had already brought the old woods next to Canterlot into sight. The Everfree Forest… Sunset had never even been there. It looked dark and sinister in the dusk light. Dank, moss-ridden trees seemed to have grown up in a hurricane, so twisted and thick they were. They stretched out for miles, swallowing the horizon as the car drew near. With the initial shock gone, Sunset wasn’t even afraid. She had friends. She had weapons. And hey, she had fought monsters before. She could do this. A cocky grin tore across her face. And it remained as they came to the road’s end, and left the SUV. “Ready?” Cranky asked in his grumbling voice, looking right at Sunset. “Ready.” She didn’t even blink. “Good.” He gestured with his rifle, and the four hunters advanced into the darkened forest. Three with looks of determination… and one with quizzical eyes turned to Sunset. Still, the eyes quickly turned away. Cheerilee offered her question as an afterthought, paying more attention to the darkness than the answer. “Hey, Sunset. You’re not scared of spiders, right?”