Lockheart
You ever have one of those days were life just decides to prove how much of a jerk it can be?
This was one of those days as I had just been given my marching orders by Celestia herself to attend to this suicide mission. Maybe it’s all some sort of overly complicated test as Princess Celestia had sent Twilight to save the crystal kingdom and stop Sombra from trying to conquer the land… as a test.
To be fair before that she sent a reclusive Twilight to a small town to make five friends in under two days just in order to use the Elements of Harmony on her sister… and Celestia also had Twilight and her friends go out to stop a dragon from sleeping near Ponyville which would result in their entire town being covered in ash as the smoke would block out the sun over the area. Heck that was almost as bad as giving Twilight the magical powers of three other alicorns telling her to keep it a secret and didn’t even give her manual or pamphlet on how to raise the sun either while Tirek was magic draining every pony in Eqeustria.
Celestia showed me to my flying funeral ride and smiled “It’s just a trip to Cloudsdale. They have gained a large amount of foreigners and they just need somepony to help smooth a few things out.”
Celestia put on one of those motherly smiles “Everypony is trying to get used to each other as communities are starting to grow and besides… you have two ponies who will help ensure nothing bad happens to you.”
I just slowly nodded as I stared at the hot air balloon. I’ve heard about the previous MLP jokes calling it a flying death trap. There are sky chariots that could bring me and Remedy up to Cloudsdale, but no… Celestia just had to make me ride in a small cramp hot air balloon that had limited control if things should go wrong.
Remedy and Midnight stepped into the flying death trap… as Midnight tried to stay awake since it was early in the morning. I took a deep breath and sighed as they didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest, but I knew why they had been chosen to accompany me.
Just one unicorn to cast a cloud walking spell to help me out and of course one loyal bat pony to catch me should the spell or my own cloud walking ability suddenly chose to fail. I was also pretty sure that both of them were there to help keep watch over me and of course keep me up to speed on the whole weather issue.
“Where’s Legal Right?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Celestia shook her head “He’s already in Cloudsdale getting the paperwork for the rooms. The entire situation is excepted to last for an entire week as most of the problems are questions about how it will affect Equestria or how they work… but a few tried to make… proof of concept projects funded by a few… excitable nobles.”
Meaning they didn’t need me to explain… they just needed an Alicorn to play peacekeeper or make the final call if they couldn’t come to an agreement. This was going to be just lovely.
I stepped into the hot air balloon and stared at the floor trying to calm myself down.
In mean in theory everything should be alright. Just walk in… make a few final verdicts and then go back to my room. I should be high enough in the sky to catch myself before I came screaming down towards the ground…
Then again the fact that Celestia’s little future sigh didn’t warn her about Sunset Shimmer’s future realty jump incident, Chrysalis being inside Canterlot before deploying the shield bubble, and of course the current chaos that threatens Equestria showed that she wasn’t all knowing.
Of course I’m properly overreacting here as I gained a very sudden fear of heights as I entered the hot air balloon and tried not to think of how many ways this could go oh so horribly wrong.
******
Cloudsdale was interesting. Unlike Canterlot it looked just like you thought it would look like in real life. In much the same Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory did in a person’s mind. The very fact that it was so far from reality and twisted up in it’s own crazed laws of reality… just made you not think about it.
In fact it was easier to just think of it as a really big set to a movie or something… than to admit that it was actually real. Otherwise someone would start questioning the rainbow rivers… and the custom made snowflakes… or the slight bits of industrial innovation being made to the city as metal floor panels were being installed to a cloud… with screws… Dear God it really was the pony version of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory!
“Is something wrong?” The bat pony who stood out like a sour thumb in the land of fluffy cotton candy clouds said.
I slowly nodded my head “Just… it’s…. surreal. Too surreal.”
The very short history lesson helped explain some aspects of the floating weather factory. The fact you could BS over a bit of the explanations with “Magic” helped cover up some of the questions… But seeing it now was just playing with my mind even more than Discord’s chaotic maze.
The fact Discord's Maze of Chaos made more sense than this place bothered me!
“I know!” A pegasi shouted near to me “I never would think it would feel like I’m walking on marshmallows mixed with fluffy cotton!”
I stared at the pony in conversion as he held out his hoof and said “I’m Rachet. New name. New lot. New story.”
He had an orange coat and a ton of highlights in his hair as he had light blue, dark blue, and two different shades of green. The important thing was his cutie mark… or lack of a cutie mark labeling him as a former human.
I shook his hoof “Lockheart. So… what are you doing here?”
Rachet grinned “Making a Pinky Copter!” I had no idea what I was supposed to say to that “I mean if you can make a copter that can be powered by an earth pony… then add a few wings and a propeller and then Bam! Pony sized tiny aircrafts!”
Midnight and Remedy stared at him in confusion. I tried to wrap my head around the concept for a few moments trying to figure out how such an idea came to be… before figuring out just how he was going to test it much less make one.
Rachet flapped his wings so that he could stand on his two hind legs continued “Just think about it! Most of the distance is traveled by hoof or wing. Sure you got the iron horse being brought up to snuff, but that doesn’t leave a lot in the ways of personal transport.”
“You’re trying to make cars?” I couldn’t help but say in disbelief “Flying cars.”
Rachet nodded “I thought about calling myself Ford… but Rachet has a better ring to it and I couldn’t figure out a Ford pun. Besides what’s not to love about flying cars! It’s like the future but doable here thanks to magic!”
I shook my head “Just to get things clear… how big are you planning for the size of these aircrafts to be?”
Rachet stopped flapping his wings and shrugged “Uh… properly motorcycle size. Something to sit on and peddle… or magic power… It should make traveling easier, but… The weather boys are worried about what effects it would have on the skies… and the whole concept. It’s like trying to explain a submarine to them.”
And this was why I was sent here instead of Celestia. No one else really understood the concept much less the terms being used. If you boiled it down to the basics however… it made sense there would be conflict.
If someone could make personal airplanes the same way we had cars back home then there could be a bit of strife. Especially when you add the fact that pegasi fly and more importantly use clouds as weather tools, beds, houses, and entire cities.
Sure you could give the speech about cars and it’s impact on society… but it was slow adaption. Start with carts then throw horses. Build roads for horses. Upgrade to slow cars and use same roads. Then replace horses with cars. The system was already in place before the item was ever made, but flying cars or planes?
Sure you had flying moving companies and stuff, but the major difference was that pegasi could turn or even stop on a dime. Planes on the other hand… there is a reason why the run ways are so long and that’s without even getting into the more finer technical aspects that are bound to show up.
“And you’re one of the projects I’m supposed to check on.” I bitterly replied as he nodded happily.
I just stared at him wondering how the hell he still seemed to be on a sugar rush or if this was one of the side effects of being turned into a pony? He certainly had more of a… Pinkie Pie vibe than a normal person should have. That and he didn’t seem to understand the concept of personal space as he stood right next to me.
“Just one of many inventions of the Sky Bolt Industry line!” He shouted in joy right next to my ear “We figured we get everyone together and throw what we came up with at the board until one of them finally stuck!”
I shook my head in disappointment. A group of former humans all bound together in the attempt to making inventions… by spit balling ideas. Sure that method created a few good ideas… the only problem would be checking which ones they had working version of… and which plans hadn’t even left the planning stage yet.
I turned my head to the left to see the regular ponies marching across the cloud either ready to welcome me to Cloudsdale… or toss me off the side of the city. By the looks on their faces and the business suits they wore it could honestly be both. I tried to smile as they smiled only making me more nervous.
The ringleader spoke “My name is Fine Point and these are my associates. I take it you’re here to solve the disputes?”
I nodded as I could already tell it was going to be a long day.
******
Celestia
It was already proving to be a long day as Celestia glanced at the next possible earth pony teacher. The first trick was having to find an Earth Pony noble… then finding an earth pony noble that didn’t just focus on business… or politics… mostly finding an earth pony that had nobility and could teach earth pony magic as the last four nobles were trying to pass business deals instead showing Celestia they could teach earth pony magic.
“Be the rock! Feel the Rock! Touch the rock! Taste the rock!” The latest earth pony spoke… as she was now licking the rock
Celestia tried not to groan as she whispered to Quick Note “What is she doing?”
Quick Note scrunched her face up as she tried to figure it out “Golden Age is… don’t you know?”
The pony called Golden Age was now standing on her head “Feel the world revolve around you…”
Celestia honestly had no idea what the mare was doing… or why she was rubbing up against a tree. In fact a part of Celestia started to wonder if perhaps that drug test needed to be double checked.
“I never thought I would meet a pony that would bring more questions to my mind than Lockheart.” Celestia whispered to herself.
*****
Lockheart
I nodded as the political big wigs continued their tour of Cloudsdale as they showed me how they made Equestria’s snowflakes… and then tell me the importance of tradition has let their fine city thrive in these uncertain times just like they said during every other part of the tour.
It was both very confusing and also starting to get annoying. Apparently they had ponies crafting each snowflake by hoof… something about the sensitivity and natural pegasi magic combined with bla, bla, bla!
I didn’t pay much attention to it as I already was planning on drafting up plans for that pegasi snowflake industrial machine. The quant charm of hoof made snowflakes had no place in this messed up rainbow factory!
Snowflakes should take seconds to make instead of three seasons!
They are tiny things that no one really bothers to check on their “Design” or if two flakes really did look alike. The traditional side kept yapping about the job, and tradition, and cutie marks. The progressive side talked about freeing up “hooves” and making a few commemorative snowflakes.
Like coins or stamps. Just simply grab a snowflake for each year and make your own collection!
Finer Point droned on “And this is the rainbow river where we make each rainbow shine.”
If dunking my head underneath the molten liquid would end this torture I would do it in a heartbeat. Instead I had to hear about the finer points of liquid rainbows instead of the quick fix of regular rainbows… which was water and refraction of the light passing through it.
That’s a heck of a lot cheaper and easier to do than magic river paste that makes no god dam sense at all! I mean… what’s the point of it? Even in MLP you have rain making rainbows and even a Sonic Rainboom made by a pony going fast… so what was the purpose of the liquid rainbow!
Remedy caught my expression and asked one of the tour guides “You sell them by the bottle?”
Finer Point nodded “Of course as there are quite a few ponies who enjoy it.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Did he mean they bought it like how somebody would buy a lava lamp… or did he mean food? Was the rainbow liquid some sort of food… could it go bad… how could a liquid rainbow go bad?
Remedy left the group and bought a few bottles… to either study, help me understand what they are… or possibly taunt me with it as I could see the grin on her face. Remedy Cross finally found some sort of revenge to employ against me.
Remedy smiled as she cheerfully mocked me “It’s just some Rainbow.”
She cheerfully waved that impossibility of reality itself right before my very eyes… this is how she must have felt whenever I explained how my magic worked and unlike me… she can actually explain how it works!
So I did the only thing I could think of and asked the bat pony “How exactly is this all… possible?”
Midnight shrugged “Which part? The floating city in how they move it across Equestria, how they regulate all of Equestria’s weather, how they expand the city by adding new districts or buildings, or are you asking how they are able to hang pictures off a cloud wall?”
My eye started to twitch as I saw a Pegasus hammering a picture frame into the cloud wall. He was even on a step ladder... Alright it’s official. Both of them are out to get me!
I took a deep breath and tried to figure out as much MLP lore I knew… and tried to ignore any of the unusual oddities I saw.
How did exactly did Cloudsdale move about in the sky? Did they have pegasi push it place to place or did they manage to install some sort of propeller to this place? If it was propeller then how did they move around before… did they just pull up some boat sails?
My head started to ache from my pesky logic trying to make sense of a magical kingdom run by magic. That was the answer… magic. Don’t ask any more questions as magic is the answer! Just say magic and leave it at that!
I might as well be asking how big the sun or moon was? Was it the same size as earth’s sun and moon or did they have the discworld variant where the sun was actually smaller than the planet as the discworld sun was… I think as big as a rather large mountain range?
Remedy snapped my out of my insanity spiral as she asked “What exactly is that over there?”
Finer Point grumbled as he replied “That’s Swift Wind’s latest project. Apparently he hired a few of the new foreigners to build that infernal contraption.”
I glanced into the distance and stared at the item in question with both open awe and horror. It looked like a large blimp… possibly an airship? It was hard to tell as metal and cloud wrapped around each other as countless ponies moved back and forth from the ship as I couldn’t tell if the clouds were being used as a docking port or if they were actually a part of the ship itself.
Still it wasn’t a complete ship… more like the rough skeleton of a ship as a few pegasi lifted up a room and connected it to the inside of the ship like one of those trailer trucks that carried sections of a house.
A sea green pegasi with orange hair moved towards us grinning… as he wore a one of those red shirt with the white frills surrounding it looking like some old Victorian noble… which might be time period accurate come to think of it.
The pony smiled “Ah the Elusive Alicorn has come to take a sneak peek at my joy and pride?”
I flinched as I bitterly responded “Not an Alicorn.”
The Swift Wind nodded “I understand. Until the lineage if fully confirmed you’re unable to take the title.” I didn’t bother replying as no one really listened “Still all the paper work should be alright and we did make sure to move the testing of the engines to the ground after Wing’s Flight had their testing accident.”
I held up a hoof “Wait… engines?”
Swift Wind nodded “We’re mostly testing to see which method is more viable… A few of the blank flank earth ponies used to work by having artifacts powered by lightening.” His wings drooped as he sighed “Sadly gather the proper materials to remake the strings and finding a proper source of power that can contain the power of lightening… is proving a bit more difficult than previously imagined.”
It took a few seconds for me to comprehend what he had just said… apparently we had a few former electricians in Equestria. Their only problem is trying to figure out a way to harness electricity… without blowing any fuses.
Lightening makes for an easy source of power. Keeping the charge or building enough excess batteries to hold the power isn’t as easy… especially when Equestria has yet to invent batteries and how exactly magical ponies went about creating these lightening bolts. For all I knew they could have Taser level strength instead of earth version lightening bolts.
I took another look at the hybrid project “I’ll need to look over a few of the details to double check the viability of the engines considering your last accident… and if any other projects or requests are running into similar situation.”
Swift Wing blinked “Alright… but I’m the only pony building The Sky’s Grace.” He added in the same tone one talked about a prized trophy or vintage car.
I nodded “It’s not the ship itself… but the parts as I take it electricity was taken out of the equation due to power overloads and the inability to keep a battery or stored means of internal electric power.”
Midnight glanced at me “You know what they’re doing?”
I shrugged “I know enough to be a problem, but not enough to be of any use… I just figured that if someone else already figured out how to fix some of the internal problems…”
Swift Wing nodded “Then maybe a kind benefactor could assist them.”
“But I still have to look at the drawing board for the internal engine system.” I quickly replied “Last thing we need is for the crew to have to eject the core over some town underneath or have the entire ship go up in flames before crashing down in a highly populated area.”
Everyone was now staring at me as I sighed.
It was time to give a history lesson “Hindenburg was a passenger airship that kept itself afloat by using a highly flammable fuel source. It worked well… until an accident happened leaving… have any of you ever seen a hot air balloon fall?”
Everyone nodded as I really felt like there should have been some MLP joke there...
I took a deep breath “It’s essentially the same… except everything is on fire as a burst of flame is shooting out of the hole in the balloon. Like I said… I need to take a look at the engine design and how the implementation of clouds are being done… just to make some reassurance that some piece of metal isn’t going to get to hot and suddenly evaporate or dissipate a cloud leaving an entire section to plummet to the ground.”
I glanced at Midnight “I’ll also need for it to be looked over by some pegasi or bat ponies… who actually know stuff about clouds.”
Swift Wind stared at me “Isn’t that a little bit… extreme?”
I rolled my eyes “If it works than you have officially built a very impressive and powerful device that will get you a lot of attention. If it fails… ask those foreign workers if they know what the word Chernobyl or Three Mile Island means?”
Remedy moved to get a better view of the ship “What happened?”
I nervously replied “Just how bad an accident can be when you don’t have proper control over a very powerful source of power…” Yet I couldn’t help but grin “Other than that I can’t wait to see how it turns out.”
Midnight chuckled as I stared at her in confusion “Sorry it’s just… It’s rare to see you… enthusiastic about something.”
I rolled my eyes at the comment “It’s a magical airship… it’s… a cultural thing.”
As we walked away Remedy asked me “Have you ever seen one before?”
I took a deep breath “Let’s put it this way… if a hot air balloon can take you up here and yet a sky chariot can also do it much easier and safer… so why make a hot air balloon?”
They stared at me as Midnight shrugged “I… really don’t know. Maybe to use when somepony doesn’t want to pull a sky chariot?”
Remedy shrugged “I always thought it was for the view. Sure a unicorn could cast a cloud walking spell… but first you would have to find a unicorn that could cast it and then find some way to get onto a cloud in order to see the view.”
I nodded as I took one last look “Well it’s sort of the same reason for an airship and personally… I hope they succeed. I just want to make sure it’s maiden voyage doesn’t end up as it’s last voyage.”
******
Celestia
Celestia gave one of her political smiles as Morning Song continued “And that’s how I would do it. A little bit of work at the orchid never hurt anypony.”
It was kind of a shame really. Morning Song had a successful tie to nobility and seemed like a pony Celestia herself would like to get to know… but her plan of making him do ranch work?
Besides the fact most of those activates could be accomplished by physical strength... having to take care of plants… tended to take time to see different results… results that could be affected by all the other earth ponies helping out on the ranch or also helping tend to the plants.
Celestia smiled “Please let Quick Note know where you are staying as we may need to get back to you in a little while.”
Morning Song nodded as the mare walked away feeling cheerful with herself. Celestia tried not to sigh as… Finding somepony to teach earth pony magic was growing increasingly difficult since those who taught it lived it… they were great at teaching other earth ponies… just not… teaching them how to do it.
Finding somepony to help teach earth pony magic was always the easiest... or hardest thing to do due to the simple nature of earth pony magic.
She also had a feeling that if she told Morning song she had to stay in Canterlot to teach Lockheart… that it might end up being a deal breaker with her. Lockheart still needed training in unicorn and pegasi magic and sadly if Celestia ending up sending Lockheart to the ranch at this moment then it would most likely be perceived as confirmation that Lockheart wasn’t an Alicorn… or that Celestia was sending him away because she thought he was a disgrace in much the same way nobles had certain elements of their family deal with some new frontier problem that was very far away from Canterlot.
Celestia took a sip of tea wishing she could have been instead eating that nice slice of cake she had hidden in her room. Instead the pestering complaints of nobility trying to find a more definitive means of conformation was making this task even more difficulty.
In all honesty the ranch would have been her choice as he would have ponies to help teach him, a community to work together, and hopefully a chance to make some new friends… that didn’t conflict with job or duty. Maybe if she wasn't being rushed to use earth ponies to confirm or deny Lockheart's possible Alicorn status she would have been able to manage this entire mess better...
Celestia tried not to sigh as there wasn't much she could do at the moment expect keep up her mask of “all knowing perfection” as she waited for the next pony.
Quick Note prepared the brief summary “Bolderdash is one of the branching nobilities sent to deal with the problems of Thunder Peek.”
Senior Blue Blood snorted as if Quick Note told a funny joke… Celestia founder herself growing more irritated with the old unicorn as he was the pony responsible for dismissing half of the candidates Celestia actually liked!
Quick Note stared at him “Is there a problem?”
Senior Blue Blood shook his head “No. No problem at all… It must be such a grand honor for him to have the chance to join his betters.”
Celestia frowned as it sounded bad… but it was an insult possibly suggesting that the next pony’s line of nobility wasn’t as… strong as it should have been due to the fact two unicorns parents gave birth to an earth pony.
Before Celestia could say something… an odd sight struck her as everypony else went speechless.
Nobility tended to be odd. Sometimes really odd, but they served their purpose and Bolder Dash had successfully quelled the civil unrest, strengthened relations between the pony city and griffin kingdom, while increasing their revenue turning the poor dying city into a strong and health city… So one or two oddities were allowed.
The dark brown earth pony with light azure hair had a cutie mark of a bolder. He was dressed in a rather well made business suit and had a… young griffin by his side. Grant it he was roughly the same age as her… but… Celestia was a bit surprised seeing the two kiss as Senior Blue Blood looked like he was about to throw up.
The earth pony smiled “Name’s Boulder Dash! I take it you’re the one who needs help… I’ll admit that he’s a bit flabby, maybe a little soft in the heard, but I’ll do my best to turn chubby sitting next to you into a proper pony!”
Celestia was glad everypony else was staring at Boulder Dash in shock… as it was just wrong of her to have cracked a smile at what he just said.
Senior Blue Blood shouted “You are not here to do anything related to me!”
Boulder Dash tilted his head as he stared at Celestia in confusion “You mean the Blue Bloods aren’t related to you?”
This was the last thing Celestia had expected to see this day!
What just got her was just how… honest he was saying it. It wasn’t meant as a backhoof barb or some attempt to disgrace the old unicorn’s standing nobility… but a honesty and poorly phrased question as if a foal said those words instead of an adult.
When Celestia finally managed to get control of herself and calm Senior Blue Blood down she said “No we are checking for any ponies who could help teach earth pony magic.”
“And state the authenticity of some outrages claims some might have.” Senior Blue Blood acidly replied as he already had an immense distaste for this new pony.
Boulder Dash stared at Senior Blue Blood “So there really is some new Alicorn in Canterlot?” Celestia nodded as Senior Blue Blood adamantly shook his head “Did you check if he had wings and a horn?”
Senior Blue Blood looked as if he was about to strangle Boulder Dash while Quick Note quickly tried to intervene. Celestia noticed that the griffin Bolder Dash had kissed had two griffin bodyguards nearby each carrying one of those new crossbows and had their claws ready to pull them out as their lady frowned.
Quick Note pulled out a few papers to show Boulder Dash “There are a large amount of oddities surrounding him… and in some cases out right confusing or almost impossible if we didn’t see it without own eyes.”
Boulder Dash nodded “So foreign Alicorn steps in and everypony else panics.”
“Better than a half-baked mud pony.” Senior Blue Blood cursed underneath his breath.
Boulder Dash walked over to the large bolder that was left for display purposes or to assist the earth ponies that came and lifted it over his head with one hoof. Boulder Dash glared at the older noble as he tossed the bolder up and down with one hoof like a foal with a hoofball.
Boulder Dash gritted his teeth “Here’s a simple test. Catch.”
Senior Blue Blood shut his eyes as Celestia quickly prepared to catch the boulder… only to catch a small pebble that would have just landed on the table in front of them.
Boulder Dash laughed like a mad stallion as he placed the bolder down and pointed at Celestia “See honey! That’s a real pony!"
Celestia glanced at the small pebble “You tossed a pebble?”
Boulder Dash shrugged “Why not? Toss a boulder at a pony over a small dispute would have been crazy and besides... just look at him shivering there like an idiot. Too many ponies just ready to roll over at the first problem they run into. He didn’t try catch it or doge… just sat there like an idiot really. The mare at least had a brain.”
Celestia glanced at Quick Note who was brushing off some dirt as she gave a nervous chuckle.
Boulder Dash glanced over the papers “Well teaching this new would be a bit tricky… He can’t even fly?”
Celestia took a deep breath “He is currently having some success with a flight instructor.”
Boulder Dash nodded “Have you tried throwing him off a cliff?” Everypony stared at him in shock “Not a big cliff! Just a small one… If he gets a few scrapes and bruises it’ll just help to build character in the end.”
Boulder Dash was… certainly an odd pony. Almost like a crazy pony trying to pretending to they were sane, but he probably wasn’t going to be picked due to Senior Blue Blood anyway… yet Celestia couldn’t help but ask “He’d probably fight back if we tried tossing him off a cliff.”
To her surprise and slight horror Bolder Dash laughed “Of course he should be allowed to fight back! It’d be only fair since I would be the one trying to throw him off a cliff.”
Senior Blue Blood groaned “How in Equestria did this fool stay a noble?”
Boulder Dash glared as Senior Blue Blood in anger “I’m a Duke! Nobles are frilly little ponies who ask their parents for donations. Dukes on the other hoof work hard, own property, and of course help run Equestria! Any idiot with a few extra bits could become a noble, but Dukes have to be earned!”
Both of them locked eyes as the older unicorn felt he needed to teach the young upstart his proper place while the younger earth pony glared at the older pony seeing him as an old worthless piece of junk that had yet to be tossed out in the garbage. It seemed as if the two ponies would come to blows any second.
Celestia tried to intervene ““He was asking why you didn’t have a house or any servants tending to the estate your family gave you.”
It was a poor save, but the earth pony didn’t seem to mind “Oh that? My family sent me to deal with the griffins and so I went to their lord as I knew that the secret behind any good male is a good woman... so I went to sweep that gal off her feet!”
The griffin walked beside Boulder dash giving him a small punch in the shoulder “And he ran into me. Dad had a rather confusing talk and… somehow the two of them hit it off. Dad thought that a pony living in such a small house shouldn’t be dating his daughter… so he had him move in.”
The earth pony chuckled “My new house is in griffin territory and yes I make all the tax payments including the parts requested by Equestria, but the territory I look after gets along well with it’s residents.” He hugged the griffin as she nuzzled his neck “Some better than others.”
“Besides I came to Canterlot because some odd noble asked me about the train system I had running back…” He started to say before Senior Blue Blood threw a boot at Boulder Dash’s face.
The look of rage was clear in the older stallion's eyes was clear as day for everypony to see. The trains had been taken from his family and now he was seeing an earth pony upstart who he hated was possibly about to take control of the monopoly he had poorly ruled over.
Senior Blue Blood shouted with venom coursing through his voice “I challenge you to a duel to take back what is mine!”
The earth pony grinned wiping the blood from his mouth “When, Where and with what?”
Quick Note whispered to Celestia “He does realize that technically if Boulder Dash wins than he is eligible as a teacher despite any complaints Blue Blood might have?”
Celestia sighed “Please tell the others to wait a little while…” and muttered “or until we find another noble.”
Quick Note ran back into the castle to inform the rest of the earth pony nobles about the slight delay. This was one of the problems with nobles… they were so quick to judge as Celestia already knew that Lockheart properly wanted to know how Boulder Dash’s ponies managed to fix the problems the trains were having going uphill… especially since the train in Boulder Dash’s territory went from the bottom of mountain and straight to the top of Thunder Peek.
Celestia prepared to watch two idiots fight… Maybe she really should have gone to Cloudsdale instead of staying here to deal with this mess. Lockheart was probably having an easier time than her right now.
******
Lockheart
I rested my head against the table and sighed. Everyone else started checking over the projects requests as I was the one who was forced to see if the projects were even possible. Sure it’s easy building a paper airplane, but currently Equestria lacks the natural metallurgy skills to create the needed weight and durability to craft a normal airplane… and trying to fix the gaps with magic just made me feel… nervous.
Remedy glanced at the last attempt “They tried using a fire ruby for an engine?”
I’ll admit my magical gem lore was non-existent, but no one from earth exactly knew the magical to power ratio of certain gems. It would be like comparing a block of gold to a block of silver to a group that has never seen them before. You know their valuable… but you don’t know how valuable or important they could be.
“Are you asking about the budget they used… or the action they did?” I couldn’t help, but ask as I dreaded hearing the answer.
Remedy rubber her chin “It wasn’t fully ripe… but it did cause a bit of damage… enough to have Cloudsdale request a ban on further attempts to use gems in any of their engines.”
“And the gem was a gift from a noble… who ran the company and apparently thought that making the engine bigger will solve the issue.” Midnight replied to my dismay “Why are there separate papers for this thing?”
Legal Right was already at work with his vast array of quills and ink wills. His light green coat now covered in spots of ink as his gray-ish silver hair reminded me of a mad Beethoven right now. He was the pony assigned by Celestia to help me with equestrian legal matters and the pony that helped make a couple if not half of my "alleged actions" against Canterlot's nobility possible.
Legal Right filled away the next stack of papers “Because three different companies are competing with each other and until one group manages to build their invention… That’s three different sides, papers, plans, and techniques being employed and it wouldn’t be fair if one group sabotage their own failed engine… just to get rid of the other group’s working engine.”
"Politics." Remedy summarized
I groaned at I took another look at the paper again. This was the Equestrain version of the space race.
Sky Bolt Industry was a group of former humans trying to remake earth technology… and attempting to use magic to fill in the gaps. Some items earned profit and others… were still being refined as they were too costly to mass produce… but made great items to show off or bought as an expensive commodity or gimmick by some rich noble.
Sky Bolt Industry was trying to build the air plane version of a car or motorcycle since Swift Wind was trying to build an Airship. Right now their model designs seem to be based on trying to recreate the MLP "Pinkie Copter"… or trying to find someway to utilize a gem to power a come to life spell as… Equestria had yet to create the technique that was used to create Tank’s little helicopter device… or the magical power system that Flim and Flam used on their Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 machine… or did that use some other source of fuel?
Either way Equestria’s own advancement in their magical system hadn’t reached MLP standard techno magic ability that was taken for grant it in MLP or just generally talked about or brought up questions... like the purpose of the dam was used to generate electricity as a hydro electric plant... or something more mundane like diverting a river or making a pound.
Wing’s Flight an Equestrian company saw Sky Bolt Industry as a rival and since they had a powerful noble backing them… they also entered the race trying to build their own machine… which used to be an air plane until the fire ruby incident forcing them to switch to a large blimp design. They also were the ones that tried using their own accident to make the other two groups unable to continue with their gem powered tests.
I wasn't sure if they were employing a few former humans or if they copied if not stole some of Sky Bolt Industry's plans and then tried to fill in the gaps with their own arcane knowledge. They had made a rough estimate on how much power would be needed to make the plane fly... and underestimated the needed strength of the engine or the ability to keep a sustained amount of constant power. Sky Bolt discarded the plan due to the weight... and Wing's Flight tried to solve it by pumping in more power... and caused a large mess as it shot off like a rocket before exploding thankfully away from the general population.
I took one last look at Swift Wind’s pet project turned political nightmare as he… took a practical approach to it. He was fascinated at the skills some of the former humans had… and then after realizing the difference of technologies he tried employing skills they knew for his airship.
The plans were built of the first bases of trying to re-employ electricity and powering the entire thing by electricity… but thunderbolts overloaded the wires and they had yet to create a workable battery to feasibly power most of the ship… yet they did manage to create an ecofriendly kitchen as the grills used electricity to cook the food and they managed to put in a patent for their bases of building a refrigerator… which was one of the pet projects in the larger pet project.
In fact there seemed to be a question on if Swift Wind was building an Airship… or building a flying restaurant as many of the modifications being made was for the purpose of allowing just about any race to work or live on the ship without the need of a clouding walking spell. Still unlike the other two groups he was focusing primarily on the air ship as the budget going into it was much larger than the other two companies. The rest of the items were just cast offs or as there wasn't even a plan on how the airship would fly through the sky by some sort of propulsion system or if he would hire a few pegasi to pull it like a sled.
“I know I should be happy about the new innovations being made…” I took a deep breath and sighed “But I don’t know if I should be happy at the progress or worried at the mistakes.”
Remedy shrugged “Don’t you usually deal with this type of work?”
Legal Right came to my aid “Most of the work we dealt with had been explaining the concept and dealing with complaints. The other cases…”
I rolled my eyes “Greed I can deal with. Lies, attempts of deceit, or con schemes I can recognize… but this? Actual legal paperwork with no schemes or attempts to cheat? I’m a little bit out of my league.”
Remedy couldn’t help but chuckle “So the great secret to getting past your tricks, deceit, and vindictive nature… is to be completely honest.”
Legal Right dealt with the papers as I dealt with the people. It also didn't help/hurt that I had to deal with the nobles in person... in much the same way Celestia's morning court operated, but that's Equestria for you.
Still I couldn't help but smile “And now you see why the nobles hate me.”
With a wave of my horn all the sheets, scrolls, and documents were swept away leaving the next few stacks of projects left to deal with that didn't cause a notice of concern from Remedy or Midnight. Canterlot had it’s fair share of inventors… yet Cloudsdale?
It must have been because of that old human expression The Sky’s The Limit as getting to live in the sky… it brought out some of the more unique and possibly crazed aspects of human ingenuity. Canterlot built a printing press and was making fountain pens until they managed to recreate ball point pens. Essentially small mundane, but useful items…
Cloudsdale? Their trying to invent Hang gliders, airplanes, light bulbs, microwaves and of course a few humans trying to reinvent modern electricity… and it was my job to check which projects were viable… and which projects should be put on hold until further testing is done.
Then after I made my decision it would all run through the Equestrian political system… which I would have to also be present for as they made the final decision before it was passed… or passed to Celestia depending on the possible size or impact of the project in question.
This was going to take a while.
“Oh Legal Right?” I started to ask.
He simply nodded “I already secured you a room with a regular bed and specialized room so that in case you have a slight… hiccup nothing bad will happen.”
I sighed in relief as apparently I would have to worry about falling asleep only to plummet to my death tonight.
******
Celestia
The sun rose high in the sky as Celestia moved onto the second stage of the testing. It was difficulty finding enough earth ponies who may have qualified for the rigged standards of Canterlot’s nobility… in fact after how many were dismissed Celestia might finish finding which candidate to pick today simply because there was only a small amount left.
Most of the earth ponies either didn’t have a… solid means for checking earth pony magic or they had ended up not being good enough for Canterlot’s upper nobility. Apparently being born of noble blood wasn’t enough for them nor having the ability to run their family’s business or managing their territory well counted as important… just how much influence their family had and if they knew how to play the games of nobility… as half of the small amount picked ended up bribing a few nobles before they came to help secure their vote.
Needless to say the reason for the second part of the screening stage was to ensure Celestia could check them over again… without any biases eyes watching them and to ensure they knew what they were getting into. It was for this reason she held the talks in the very same room she taught Lockheart in.
There were no luxuries or valuable items adorning the walls as the entire room had been almost stripped down to it’s bare necessities… yet the chairs and the couch were rather comfortable as the hard wood desk rested in front of Celestia filled with quill’s, ink pots, and sadly… documents to read, sign, and go over rested there as the current documentation they had on Lockheart including the medical reports rested on top of the desk.
Of course the best secret about the desk was not the polished surface or the fancy decorations and carvings that wrapped around the legs of the desk… but the secret compartment that held, aspirin, some water, one rather delicious slice of cake… and that delightful new concoction the foreign ponies called… hot cocoa as they even included those small white fluffy things to go with it that crunched in her mouth or became soft and fluffy when heated up.
It was expensive due to it's productions cost... but being a Princess had it's perks. Celestia kept the hidden sugary goods in mind as she prepared to deal with Noble House.
Noble House was one of the few ponies that had passed the tests. The nobility liked him because he came from a strong and influence family that had “ensured” that he would get to this stage as his family would gladly try to use their new found authority if Noble House was picked to teach Lockheart.
In short picking him would create a lot of waves in the political world… yet Noble House came from a fine family. While he didn’t own or run much held by his relatives in Canterlot… he was not only an accomplished sculptor, but he had taught various races of ponies so he was more familiar with a wider variety of magic than most ponies did.
Noble House stepped into the room as his dark purple coat was well groomed as his blond hair had been combed back as it sparkled a little from either water or some sort of gloss. He wore a dark black suit and a top hat just resting over his head. His cutie mark was of a bag full of golden bits.
Noble House bowed “It is an honor that you grant me time to speak with you alone Princess.”
Celestia simply nodded as she tried to keep it short. She went over all the recent incidents… and Lockheart’s oddities as she even gave him a few of the documents to prove just why everypony else couldn’t make up their mind about his status as an Alicorn.
Noble House simply handed the sheets of paper back “And what is it that you want from me Princess?”
Celestia kept calm and simply asked “What would you teach him?”
Noble House chuckled as if Celestia was making a polite joke mixed in with her question “Why I would teach him art. If he truly is of noble blood then we must ensure that he understands the grace of nobility… the respect that it holds and that one we most also uphold.”
He guested towards her desk “Why take a look at this room. This chairs are obviously well made and that desk… a peasant couldn’t hope to afford it, yet the purpose it serves is just the same as their own desk. The reason why we adorn ourselves in our culture and our art is to help show that we truly are better than those beneath our standings so that they can look up to us in hope to solve the problems that plague their lives.”
Celestia nodded as she didn’t make any movements. Noble House kept his cool, but he kept taking a small glance at Celestia trying to read what her thoughts was. To be honest Celestia wasn’t even sure if that was his real answer… or some carefully planned speech made by his parents.
Celestia moved onto the next question “In what way exactly?”
The last two nobles took a while to respond as they had vaguely promised her results… but didn’t expect Celestia to have them explain how they would achieve those results.
Noble House smiled “I am an artisan and I have trained countless ponies to create many extravagant works of art. There is an artist in each of us… but most of all I have taught ponies from each of the tribes. I know not only how to teach… but also what to look out for.”
Celestia nodded “And how exactly would you deal with the situation if you had to move to Canterlot? Lockheart may not even be a real Alicorn.”
Noble House made a slight bow “If that is what the Princess wishes than who am I to argue? If your worried about my estate than I have servants ready to take care of it during my absence.”
Celestia checked it off as she said “What would you do if Lockheart is proven to be an Alicorn… or if you find out he isn’t an Alicorn?”
Noble House made a small twitch before he replied “If he is of noble bearing than I would do my best to further his teachings… and if he isn’t than I would let you know.”
Celestia made note of his reactions as she replied “Thank you… that will be all for now.”
Noble House nodded as he got up and left the room. There was little Celestia could say at this point… except give him some time to think over his decisions and what he would do next.
Celestia pulled out her paperwork to get some of it finished until Morning Song arrived.
******
Boulder Dash entered the room with a black eye, a few bandages wrapped around his side and a very large grin… as he had been accepted only because be bested Senior Blue Blood in a duel.
The older noble was taught the fine grace of dueling. Bolder Dash was taught the fine art of winning by griffins… griffins who thought a good duel ended with a sporting scar instead of a minor easily healed scratch. While he lacked the normal grace that most nobles had… he made up for by labeling himself as a duelist during the fight and by the old traditions of Canterlot itself most despites could be resolved in a duel between two nobles.
Needless to say there weren’t any ponies objecting unless they knew which end of a rapier to hold properly. In many ways Boulder Dash being picked would cause a couple of waves in Canterlot simply due to his… eccentric personality or the griffon body guards that stayed with him to ensure no other despites would break out against the pony that was dating their lord’s daughter.
Celestia had just finished going over Lockheart’s information, his oddities, and of course the documentation provided by the doctors… which Boulder Dash didn’t seem to pay much attention to after reading the first document.
He shook his head as he gave Celestia back the papers “From what it sounds like the problem is the odd magic, but the fact he doesn’t have a point of reference. Sort of like a griffon that never flew… as their natural abilities would make it so they wouldn’t need to rely on their flight abilities as much as a Pegasus would.”
Celestia nodded “So how exactly would you teach him?”
Boulder Dash smiled “That’s the thing. I wouldn’t… don’t get me wrong I’ll try… but trying to explain to him how it works would be like trying to describe colors to a blind pony. You have the terms, the knowledge, and the experience… but the central aspect of it is just so simple… it’s surprisingly complex.”
Celestia’s expression didn’t change as Boulder Dash seemed a bit nervous…but he was doing alright so far.
Boulder Dash continued “So… there isn’t much that can be done until he understands… of course the real trick will be teaching the grasp of it… Which to be honest will end up looking a bit… silly.”
Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle “In what way exactly?”
His face started to turn red as he muttered “By seeing what he has a connection with and working up from there. If he has a gift with plants then try to show him how earth pony magic grows plants… if it’s rocks then I can teach him a few tricks… if he doesn’t know… Then I’ll just get a Fun for Foals book and make him do all the exercises until I can see something he connects with.”
None of the others thought of trying that… which was for a good reason considering how silly it would look. In fact it was a little bit hard not trying to picture Boulder Dash shouting at Lockheart like a drill sergeant as he forced the other alicorn to build a sandcastle or make a silly picture with hoof paint.
Celestia took a deep breath and returned to her questions “And how exactly will you deal with your situation if you move to Canterlot. Lockheart may not even be a real alicorn.”
Boulder Dash chuckled “Why should that matter? The important thing is that I’m in Canterlot with my wife! There’s a reason why I’m married to a griffin. Both sides pony and griffin tried living apart and it worked fine for the past few years… but as soon as trouble comes along every pony and griffin panics. Just look at Timberton! Quaint little place serving as a place to go in-between two territories. Now that it’s burned down it’s gotten better.”
Celestia was quite honestly surprised that… he had married a griffin. Honestly she though he was dating her or that it was a passing fancy like the others… but to actually have married a griffin? She didn’t have anything against it… but this was the daughter to a foreign lord who didn’t have a good relationship with Equestria… or the fact Boulder Dash was still listed as single by his own family.
Boulder Dash held up a hoof “Tell me Princess… have you ever went to Timberton before the disaster? Did you ever notice how the ponies and the griffins kept to separate areas. They lived together as neighbors… but they hardly interacted. Now that the town was burnt down… their rebuilding. Griffin and pony working side by side to rebuild their homes except this time their working together instead of drawing lines in the sand and splitting the town apart.”
Celestia nodded “And what about your territory?”
Boulder Dash smirked “That’s why I’m here. I understand this. My town understands this and even the griffins including my own wife understand this. She came with me to open up negations with Equestria. We’ve been neighbors living side by side enjoying drawing line in the sand and mocking the other for far too long.”
Celestia was surprised as Thunder Peek had enjoyed being kept separate from Equestria and the other griffin kingdom as they lived their own lives without any care of what their neighbors thought. In all honesty she just assumed that Boulder Dash was just seen as a unique oddity to them… but she never thought they would open negations.
Boulder Dash sighed as he shook his head “Equestria is a peaceful place… Personally I would like it to stay that way… yet things are changing. The Centaurs are having a civil war, there are rumors about the Yaks having run into some sort of problem… yet none of that really mattered to us until Timberton was burnt to a crisp.”
She saw the sorrow on his face as he closed his eyes “Timberton of all places burnt to a crisp. I mean… what was the point? There isn’t any gold. It’s just an old frontier town placed between two nations… there wasn’t anything of value and yet some crazy monster tore the place apart just for the fun of it.”
Boulder Dash chuckled a little, but it was clear that he was nervous and possibly a bit frightened “So that made us start asking questions. What’s going on with the Centaurs. Had any pony, griffin, donkey, or creature heard what happened to the Yaks? Maybe it’s just a coincidence that doesn’t really mean anything… but it’s enough to make somepony start to get nervous and well… it’s nice to have friends.”
Celestia couldn’t help but smile as Boulder Dash was being completely honest with her. Still she just had one final test to see if he would pass.
Celestia stared down at Boulder Dash as she said “How would you determine if Lockheart’s ability to use earth pony magic?”
Boulder Dash shrugged “That’s… a good question. Mind if I ask you one first?”
Celestia slowly nodded as she was curious to see what Boulder Dash would say. Most of the other ponies focused on favors, or ensuring they would keep their job or their new status of power even if Lockheart wasn’t an Alicorn. At best it was a request to hear his wife out and at worst she could simply dismiss the question if she wanted to.
Boulder Dash took a deep breath “Does it really matter? I mean if he’s your family?”
Celestia shook her head “No he’s not my son.”
Boulder Dash frowned “Of course not. I think somepony would have recognized the queen being pregnant… but… the griffins in Thunder Peek have… old records and well… you did have a sister at one point.”
Celestia was torn between chuckling and throwing Boulder Dash outside of the room. It was sort of a mixed blessing that there was a group that remembered Luna… but did they remember Luna or that thing that stole her from Celestia!
Sure Celestia hadn’t taken care of her sister like she should have… nor did she address her needs as… sadly Celestia had let the spotlight blind her from his sister’s troubles. Still she couldn’t bring herself to believe that her dear beloved sister Luna had attacked her… that she wished to plunge the world into darkness.
Surely it had to be some sort of twisted magic that affected her or possibly some sort of magical parasite… why the Everfree forest held it’s own rules as the forest could have affected her… or created something.
“I’m sorry if I’m out of line.” Boulder Dash quickly apologized
Celestia took a deep breath as she tried to focus on happier thoughts… like her sister’s eventual return. Those twisted mirrors held some truth and it was possible to have her dear younger sister come back one day and stand by her side…
Celestia nodded “It’s alright… but I have to ask. What made you think that?”
Boulder Dash chuckled a little “Well… according to the rumors he’s using an illusion spell to hide the fact his coat is black… so black coat, blue mane, wings and a horn, not liked that much… I’m pretty sure he could do a descent impersonation of Nightmare Moon.”
Something in Celestia’s mind snapped… or possibly got something lodged right in the gears in her head.
Celestia shook her head as that couldn’t possibly be true… after all Luna had been banished and sealed inside the moon for all these years. Even then Celestia knew that Nightmare Moon would attack her as soon as it broke free instead of running about the country making insidious plans or…
At the very least Lockheart would have been conceived before Luna had been…
“Princess?” the earth pony spoke as Celestia didn’t like how the pieces seemed to be sliding together. “Are you alright?”
Distrust of nobility. The scars on his body and the fear he had of being called an Alicorn. Why others would see him as a threat instead of a blessing… the fear he had shown when Celestia saw him the first time… a connection he shared with Celestia and the terror in his eyes when he found out she had entered his mind… but that would be…
Celestia shook her head trying to banish the thoughts “No it’s just… you wouldn’t believe how many ponies asked me if he was related to me. He’s just… an injured pony that could use some help.”
Boulder Dash nodded “Sorry if I insulted…”
Celestia quickly cut him off “It’s not the first time I’ve been asked the odd question when dealing with the possible new emergence of a new Alicorn. Then the plague of questions or requests as they begin to wonder if I can make everypony into an Alicorn if a new one that isn’t somehow possibly related to me suddenly pops up.”
Celestia shook her head “You wouldn’t believe all the charts they have listing my possible bloodline that flows through Eqeustria.”
Boulder Dash smiled “Just had to ask. Still I’ll do my best.”
Celestia nodded as she let him leave the room and listed him down as a possible candidate.
Still the question he spoke of plagued Celestia’s mind… but that was just a silly thought wasn’t it? There wasn’t any possible way that he was actually… besides his hair was green not blue… or that foals may share the colors of both parents…
Celestia rested her head on the table “I really need to find out how old he really is.”
******
Luke
Luke checked over all of his gear as the rest of his party did the same. They all knew the risks they were taking and each of them were prepared for the trial ahead. In fact the hardest part of the task they were going to have to deal with soon.
Luke did one final check “Everyone remember we’re looking for a KO instead of a kill! If the dog kicks the bucket then we are in real trouble. So make sure the bouncy ball is used first… and if it doesn’t only then do we engage combat.”
Everyone nodded as Luke took a deep breath “First team that finds Tirek make’s sure you gag his mouth shut. Last thing we need is a magic drain before we need it to happen.”
Everyone doubled checked their gear as they knew just how bad this operation could go down. Still Discord was a major threat to Equestria… and the only one who managed to beat Discord was Tirek. Luke couldn’t help but chuckle as Tirek was a magic draining monster… but he would be a lot easier to fight then a being who could alter reality at his very whim.
Today was going to be a big day.