Twilight, how did you react to your sheets after Luna and Fred's brief visit?
Twilight sat in her favorite chair in her Library, legs crossed and pondering the question that was asked of her. Still, she looked a bit bemused for what should’ve been something simple to answer.
“I’m still not entirely sure what happened that necessitated Luna having to burn and give me money for a new pair of bedshee—”
Her pupils constricted to pinpricks as some synapses finally connected in her head.
“They FUCKED in my guest bed?!” Twilight suddenly blurted out her revelation. “They did NOT!” she added incredulously. She suddenly got to her feet.
“Spike?? Spike!! Take a damn letter!”
“Umm… Twi?”
“TAKE A GODDAMN LETTER!”
Fredrick: Assuming some spell could be engineered to bridge the species gap, what is your position on having foals/kids with Luna?
Fred sat in his office chair behind his desk, dressed in his usual button-up dress shirt and slacks while leaning his elbows on the tabletop. He pursed his lips but his lips quickly upturned in a humorous smile.
“I’ve spoken with Luna about this and we’re still debating. Such a spell technically does exist but it’s a bit magic intensive,” he explained, reclining in his chair. “From what I’m told, the foal would take on some characteristics of mine… by genetics, of course… that won’t affect their physical development, so perhaps my eye color or some personality traits. Chances are, if Luna and I were to have a child, they’d look very much like her.
“Personally, though, I never found the appeal in kids,” he confessed, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “Kids strained my parents’ relationship, and maybe I’m just too young right now, but I never enjoyed the idea of having to take care of a little disease-ball while losing sleep. That, and Luna’s vagina would be widened for the forseeable future, maybe. Don’t tell her I said any of that, though...”
He chuckled.
“Sorry, not sorry!
“Besides, I’d probably be a terrible father at the moment; I think I need to mature a little bit before we even consider crossing that threshold. I mean, if my kid started screaming I’d probably scream louder in reaction. But with Luna having to rule a government, the onus would fall on me to spend more time with the child, and as much as I’d have no problem with that. I’m just not ready for it, y’know?”
Haw, Stella, yon accent ae yours is aboot as real as a twa quid note. Cin I suggest that ye quit usin' it, an' instead switch tae an accent that wid actually suit ye... like a wee chavvy Geordie or Scouse accent, f'r example?
Huvin' said a' that, I still 'hink ye're well fit f'r a crazy lass.
Stella sat on her bed in the barracks, her lips locked with a handle of imported Griffon vodka… and she was gulping it down like water. A couple bottles of beer lay strew about on her bed but that wasn’t enough. When half the bottle was consumed, she promptly capped it and set it aside. She stared back and her eyes were unevenly lidded. She belched and held one finger up pointedly, her mouth open.
“Oi! Nae, who th’fuck are you tah tell me that mah accent is bollocks mate? And wha in Luna’s Moon ish dis ‘Geordie’ or ‘Scouse’ bullshite?! Sounds poofy if ya ask me!”
She stood up threateningly but nearly lost her balance.
“Make like a tree an’ go fuck yerself ya scabby scrote!... or I’ll fuckin’...” Stella had to cover her mouth and stifle a belch that she trusted a bit too much. “...fuckin’ nail yer knob to mah wall ya fuckin’ cunt, ye!"
She balled her hands up.
"Fite me, ye cheeky dickhole!"
She suddenly tripped on an errant beer bottle and fell to one knee, but the sudden movement caused her to vomit up what she just drank… all over her floor and leg. At that moment, she chose to remember the last part of the ‘question.’
“Cheers, mate…” she weakly added with a smile.
Blueblood, would you ever consider a "guy's night out" with you, Shining Armor, and Fred? If so, what would you do?
Blueblood was busy drafting notes in his study, sitting at his desk and diligently working to prepare for the next day of politics.
He only spared a glance upward.
“No.”
Yo, Twilight. We have approximately 129,864,880 books on Earth, give or take a few thousand. What are your thoughts?
Spike burst into Ponyville hospital with a nonresponsive Twilight Sparkle on his back, who seemed to be drooling with a dazed look on her face.
“I NEED A DOCTOR, NOW!” He called out, alerting all medical staff in the area, who immediately came to their aid.
“What happened?!” they asked.
“I don’t know!!” Spike replied, handing the mare’s body off. “It’s like she had a stroke or something; she just seized up! Keeps mumbling occasionally about ‘a hundred and thirty million!’”
“Get her to a room, now!”
Fred, Luna: What was the biggest change you noticed about yourselves after you two became an item? What most excites you about the other? Also, what is your significant other's best asset (wink wink)?
Fredrick and Luna sat together on the edge of Luna’s bed in her chambers, dressed as they normally would be and intertwining the fingers of their left and right hands respectively. They both averted their gazes downward as they thought about the question at hand.
“Well, for myself,” Luna started. “...it was the sudden change in my overall, default demeanor. I felt just immeasurably happier, even if it was unofficial at the time.”
“Same here, actually,” Fred added. “I had this extra pep in my step that let me forget my stresses and take on the world, pretty much,” he said with a smile. The two shared a ‘look’ and nudged each other playfully.
“As for… ahem… ‘assets,’” Luna took the reins of conversation again. “Well, other than Fred’s most obvious, useable asset, I like his shoulders,” she alluded, wrapping her arms around him and feeling up his deltoids. “They’re firm and broad; I like that!”
“As for her assets, well…” Fred shrugged knowingly, and Luna only cupped and pressed up her breasts once for emphasis.
“Yup!”
Stella. What do you have that you enjoy having as an asset or advantage?
In one of her favorite taverns, Stella (in casual attire) sat alone at a table with a tulip pint of her favorite ale in her hand. A basket of fresh fruit and some fried potatoes sat to the side, and she finished chewing what she had in her mouth whilst thinking of how to answer the question.
“Well, I’m going to assume you don’t mean anything sexual because… if that was the case, this ass is irrefutable,” she began, and gave a proper tap to her hip for emphasis. She lifted a finger pointedly.
“But if ya mean something a bit less tangible… it’s the ability to not give a proper shite,” she remarked, leaning back in her chair and taking a hefty sip of her drink. “Think about it, life’s a lot more fun when you’re not whingin’ about the ‘consequences’ of yer actions. As long as yer not not a massive cunt every day, it helps to get ponies on your side, y’know?
“Because, mate, it all boils down to ‘confidence.’ Ya don’t have’ta think yer hot shit tah get yer way… but ya just have tah act like it! It’s how I was raised in the Northern Mountains; imagine the Manehattan ponies but like… fifty times worse in attitude. Ya learn not to fuck around, aye?” She cocked her head and shrugged, taking another sip and popping a strawberry into her mouth. Chewed with a smile on her face.
“Also, going back to ‘not giving a shit,’ it makes you credible in your threats. They don’t have to even be physical… but if ya have the chops but don’t have the sack to back up your words with actions, what’s the whole fuckin’ point? Then yer just talkin’ shite, y’know?”
Celestia: Honey, you need a hug. Is there anything you would like to say? Realize that everyone deserves love, don't forget about yourself!
Princess Celestia slid on the jacket of her work suit, getting ready for a typical day in her study while staring herself in the mirror. She giggled at the comment and question.
“Thank you, my dear… but while I appreciate the concern, everything is just fine over here. Luna’s happy and Fredrick’s happy; therefore, I’m happy,” she said. “And like I told them over two years ago, I hadn’t felt anything for Fredrick or really anypony for some time, so it’s no big deal right now.”
She did up one of the buttons on her jacked and turned from the mirror.
“I will say one thing, though. I’m neither confirming nor denying that I may have found somepony that has taken my interest… though… he’ll probably react ‘interestingly’ when he finds out that I’m not actually an accountant from Manehattan,” she remarked, smiling brightly and winking.
Stella: Celestia needs a good roll in the hay. Are you up for it, or who are you gonna send to do the honor? Also, how drunk do you need to be to sing karaoke?
“Are you shitting me, mate?” Stella asked, dumbfounded, as she armored up for her shift. “You wouldn’t even have to pay me! Have you seen the tits on that mare?”
She strapped her sword to her hip.
“I would destroy that minge with everything on me! I’d see if a Solar Alicorn can have a ‘coronal ejection’ if ya know what I mean,” Stella added, waggling her eyebrows suggestively. “I’d make sure she couldn’t raise the Sun in the mornin’! Celestia is hotter than the Sun in my opinion!
“As for your next question, that’s the great part: I don’t have to be! I fuckin’ love karaoke. My sister an’ I rock the stage when we’re sober!” she threw her arms into the air. “I’ll admit that she’s a better singer… I’m a better dancer though,” she saluted.