//------------------------------// // Issue 5: Speedsters! // Story: Mission Control // by Samey90 //------------------------------// Button yawned. Spending a night in the tower definitely wasn’t the best idea, considering the fact that he had to go to school. He considered playing sick to stay in bed, but his mother saw through it all too easily and threatened to take his games away from him. Button sighed. She’d left him no choice. “Hello!” Button raised his head and turned to see Nursery Rhyme. She was wearing her nurse outfit. Her saddlebags were full of papers and books. Button’s stomach twitched. Play it cool... Button thought. “W-what’s up?” he asked. “I made a psychological evaluation of our team members,” Nursery replied, getting a piece of paper from her saddlebags. “Morale dropped after that trip to the Everfree...” “Tell me about it...” Button hissed, thinking of Tootsie Flute. “We screwed it up.” “Tootsie voices the most concern out of the group members.” “Who’d have guessed?” Button shrugged. “I have to go to school, you know.” “I have the results of Dinky’s IQ test. She’s slightly more intelligent than a potato.” Button stopped. “Well, I think that’s how ponies are supposed to be?” Nursery shook her head. “Yes, but ‘slightly’ is the keyword here. I’d say that she may not follow your plans, but rather make her own on a spot.” “So, what exactly makes her different from ponies in my guild?” Button asked, remembering how all the members of his raid group died because of a certain paladin who charged blindly into battle. “Oh wait, I think she is in my guild...” Nursery shrugged. “I have no idea. But anyway, I think we should do something to raise morale...” “A gaming night?” Button asked. “Pizza, snacks, and the co-op mode of Lunar Guards: The Griffonian War.” “Pizza would be great.” Nursery smirked. “I’ll tell the rest. See you, Button...” She kissed Button’s cheek and walked down the street. Button rushed to school, his face bright red. It took Button two lessons to get back to more or less normal mental state. He was barely listening to what Ms. Cheerilee was saying, too focused on staring at the back of Twist’s head. “You got an A for your spelling test,” Cheerilee said, standing next to him. “Button?” “Yes?” Button snapped out of trance. “You got an A for your spelling test.” Cheerilee sighed. “And I need to talk with your mother. You were sleeping for the most of the lesson. Tootsie Flute... You got an F.” “Why?” Tootsie groaned. “I told ya dat dere can be ‘u’ in ‘neighbour’...” “Yes, I took that into account,” Cheerilee replied. “But I’m pretty sure that there’s no ‘a’ in ‘neighbour’...” Tootsie sighed and was sitting silently until the class was dismissed. When the recess started, she walked outside with Button and Twist. “Dammit,” Tootsie muttered, banging her hoof against the wall. “I’m a bloody superhero and I get an F?” “Shh...” Twist looked around. “Nopony can know.” Tootsie sighed. “Dis sucks...” “By the way,” Button said. “Nursery said that we should do something to boost the group’s morale. I proposed a gaming night.” “What game are we playin’?” Tootsie asked. “Is dat sumfin’ dat requires lotsa plannin’, deep strategy, and figurin’ out complex tasks in a few seconds?” Button raised his eyebrows. “N-no... I was actually thinking of Lunar Guards: The Griffonian War, but if you–” “Good,” Tootsie said. “I dream of smashin’ ‘eads...” Twist rolled her eyes behind Tootsie’s back. “While we’re at it,” she whispered, “I came up with a pseudonym for myself. When we’re costumed, I’m The T.” “Sure,” Button said. “But do you even have a costume? Last time you and Tag–” “Ginger,” Twist said. “Her name is Ginger Snap, remember. Okay, I’ll tell Dinky about the gaming night. And by the way, bring the costumes with you. Just in case.” “Okay,” Tootsie replied, walking back towards the class. The moon was shining brightly over a small village in the middle of the Griffon Empire. Captain Zipper, a tall bat pony with a blue mane, emerged from the bushes and looked around through the sights of his assault rifle, waiting for his companions. “Remember,” he said. “We have to catch Colonel Gerhardt alive.” “Yes, sir,” the other bat pony, Lieutenant Lambada, replied. He was a bulky stallion with dark red mane, wielding a sniper rifle. “Heard that, Clarinet?” Zipper asked the flamethrower-wielding pony, who looked at the village and smirked. Unlike the others, Clarinet was a thirster – he couldn’t fly, but the use of magic allowed him to carry bigger weapons. “We don’t want another Hoofington, do we?” “Bugger off,” Clarinet muttered. “That white phosphorus just was there, waiting to be used...” “Shh...” the last bat pony, Thin Mint, took off and looked at the village. He was carrying a submachine gun and had his camo suit on. “There are a few guards there.” “I just wanted to say that it’s a stealth-based mission and flamethrowers aren’t stealthy...” Zipper muttered and shook his head. “Thin Mint, look out for tangos. The rest, advance slowly towards the village. Take cover behind the bushes. Clarinet, fire only when we’re caught.” “Yes, sir.” Clarinet rolled his eyes. They walked slowly through the grass. Thin Mint was flying above them, whispering into his headset. “Four tangos on the left...” “Should I fire?” Lambada asked, aiming his sniper rifle. “No,” Zipper replied. “You’d shoot one and the rest would alarm that panzer division stationed nearby. We’re going there, grabbing Gerhardt, and get outta here.” He looked at Clarinet. “No own ideas, remember.” “Hey, what do ya want?” Clarinet asked. “If it wasn’t for my ideas, Equestria would be doomed.” “Yeah,” Zipper muttered. “Citizens of Hoofington are grateful. Those who aren’t a pile of ashes, that is.” “Shut up!” Thin Mint exclaimed. “A tango walks towards us!” “I got it.” Lambada looked through the scope of his rifle. “He’s alone... Not wise.” He pulled the trigger. “Tango down.” “Good.” Zipper smirked. “We’re approaching the village... Watch out for dogs.” “Watch out for dogs...” Clarinet muttered, switching to a knife. “Those griffons probably ate every single one–” With a bark, a large doberman caught his foreleg. The rest of the bat ponies took off, while Clarinet stabbed a dog twice. More dogs approached him. Zipper fired at one of them. “No!” Lambada exclaimed. “They’ll hear us!” “Dammit!” Clarinet levitated the dog’s body and threw it at two other animals. “I’m sick of dogs...” He took the flamethrower and pulled the trigger. “Go to hell, curs!” Thin Mint darted towards the rest of the group. “What are you–” He paused seeing the flames reaching the nearby building. “Now they’ll see us all!” “No way,” Clarinet said. “It’s only some fire...” “Quick guys! Ammo magazine is on fire!” some griffon shouted. Zipper fired at him. “Ammo magazine?” Clarinet asked. “Oh, motherfu–” His voice drowned in the sound of explosion. Zipper screamed when debris hit him. Lambada shot at another griffon, but then saw Zipper falling to the ground. A moment later, a burst from a griffonian machine gun ended his life. Clarinet aimed his flamethrower at the approaching army and lit them on fire. He started to shoot at buildings, trees, and grass around. “Come and get me!” he yelled, seeing the tanks slowly crawling towards him through the blazing hell the village had turned into. “Thin Mint, cover me! We’re gonna win this war!” Mission failed. Your actions got the rest of the team killed. “What?” Tootsie Flute exclaimed, throwing the controller on the floor. “I’d totally capture Gerhardt myself! I’d grab da tank, shoot da crew, and drive to catch dat feathery cu–” “It isn’t called ‘co-op mode’ for nothing,” Button said. “Next time, take a silenced gun on that mission. You’ll cause less destruction.” “Hey, I died last!” Tagalong exclaimed. “I think I like this game.” “And I don’t get why do we have to catch Gerhardt alive,” Twist muttered. “I’d fly to his window and pop a cap in his head. After Hoofington, he’s clearly a war criminal.” “Tootsie’s a war criminal.” Button sighed and shook his head. “Why don’t we shoot her, then?” Twist asked. “Because she’s a Lunar Guard. The good guy, you know.” “I find the morality of this game dubious,” Nursery Rhyme said, grabbing a slice of pizza. “Can I play now?” Dinky asked. “Yeah,” Twist said. “You can play as Lambada now. But before you start, I’ll show you my costume...” The costume in question was a red armour with saddlebags and a pair of goggles. “You can send messages and I’ll see them,” Twist said to Button. “In the saddlebags, I have a death ray, a paint launcher, a rope... You know, Dinky can shoot vines, but there should be more ponies who can climb here.” Button winced. “Especially since she shoots vines out of–” “I don’t,” Dinky said. “I just conjure vines with my magic. Tubby taught me.” “Can’t you do the same with the potatoes?” Button asked. “No. They have to grow.” Nursery Rhyme noted something quickly on the pizza box. “I have a disguise too,” Tagalong said, getting a green cloak from her saddlebags and putting it on. The hood was covering her face completely. “I have a lot of those, so if one gets destroyed, I can get another.” “Simple but nice,” Twist said. “You can put some utility harness on it too, so you can carry more stuff. A rope, or something...” “I was thinking of giving her a glider,” Button said. “Since none of us can fly...” Tootsie gave him a nasty look. “I want a glider.” “You won’t survive snapping your neck. She will,” Button said. “I’ve never built a glider before.” “Okay, I ain’t want it.” Suddenly, they heard a beep. They looked around when Button stood up and grabbed a strange device that was lying on his desk. “The world needs us,” he said. “Yeah, we still have to save Equestria from the griffons,” Dinky replied, pointing at the screen. “Not this one,” Button said. “The real world. Twist and I put alarms in the most important buildings in Ponyville. If somepony’s breaking into one, we can hear it.” “Bloody hell,” Tootsie muttered. “Permanent invigilation...” “What building are they breaking into?” Tagalong asked, grabbing her green cloak. Button cleared his throat. “The HayDonald’s...” Tootsie chuckled. “Ya what, mate?!” She fell on the floor, laughing. “Most important in da town, my bum... HayDonald’s...” “Somepony is breaking in there while we’re talking,” Twist said, putting on her costume. “This is our chance. If we catch the criminals...” “If we can beat ‘em...” Tootsie looked around. “Damn. I left my stuff at home...” “What are we going to do now?” Dinky asked. She was already wearing her armour and mask. “Don’t worry. It’s on da way.” Button pushed some knobs on his device. The screen went black and soon lit again, showing the view from several cameras installed around the town. Nursery Rhyme sat on the couch next to him. Twist, Dinky, Tootsie, and Tagalong rushed out of Button’s room. “I can’t get anything from the HayDonald’s camera,” Button said to the microphone. “Nursery, get the drone!” “We need to get to Tootsie’s house first, anyway,” Twist muttered. “Dammit, this armour sucks...” “Maybe we should get the vehicle?” Tagalong asked. “If you want to get there in two days...” Twist sighed. “We need to make something faster and less armoured.” “Be right back,” Tootsie said through gritted teeth. “It’s my home.” She rushed through the garden and opened the door. The inside of the house was dark, so she ran upstairs, to her room. “Are you already back?” Tootsie froze. “No, mom,” she replied. “I just need sumfin’...” She sighed with relief – unless mommy Bon Bon learned to imitate mommy Lyra’s voice, she was safe. “Well, I thought this whole puberty thing would hit you in, like, four years or so...” Tootsie facehoofed. It was definitely her Mommy Number One. Or, as she called her when nopony could hear, Loony. “But I’m glad that you think about protection,” Lyra continued. “Have fun.” “Thanks mom.” Tootsie walked to her room and grabbed the costume from under the bed. Then she found Father Ted under the pillow and strapped him to the utility belt. After a few minutes she was ready. “Were you talking to someone, Lyra?” Tootsie heard the voice of her Mommy Number Two, also known as Grumpy. She froze; Lyra definitely wasn’t the most responsible parent in the world, but Bon Bon had the responsibility for both of them. Unfortunately, that meant that Tootsie’s allowance could soon start to suffer. “I... I was talking to myself...” Lyra replied. “And replying?” Tootsie could easily see the Grumpy Mom sighing and rolling her eyes. “I’m working on my tulpa,” Lyra said quickly. “It talks to me, really.” “Lyra, sometimes I want to kiss you, and sometimes I want to smack you and take you to the nuthouse. Same with the kid. Where’s she? She’ll end like her biological parents...” “She’s playing games with Milano’s son. Yeah, playing games. Nothing else.” Tootsie fought an urge to slam her head against the wall. Instead, she opened the window and sat on the sill. “Dinky,” she whispered. “Twist?” “What’s up?” Twist asked. “I need a hoof,” Tootsie replied. “Not gonna jump from ‘ere.” “Use the door,” Tagalong said. “My moms are currently discussing my sex life in the corridor. I can’t walk past them like that,” Tootsie said, rolling her eyes. “What is sex life?” Tagalong asked. “Sumfin’ ya can’t get a badge for. Dinky, I need some vine...” “Okay,” Dinky muttered, charging her horn. A vine shot out of it, sticking to the roof. Tootsie grabbed it and slid down, landing swiftly on the grass. “Button, how’s the HayDonald’s?” Twist asked when they ran down the empty street. “Two individuals inside,” Button replied. “You don’t have to hurry, they don’t seem like moving anywhere soon.” “Good,” Twist said. “Formation Alpha, girls.” “What?” Tootsie asked. “Me in the middle, you on my left, the Potato Mare on my right, Tagalong in the back.” Tootsie looked at Twist unsurely. “I’d rather put Tag in da front and Di– da Potato Mare in da back. She can shoot da attackers and if Tag gets hit, she’ll be okay.” “Okay, Formation Beta, then.” “Three seconds to contact,” Button whispered in their headphones. “The suspects are behind the counter...” “Freeze!” Twist exclaimed, kicking the restaurant’s door open. “Get out with your hooves on display!” “Who is there?” somepony asked from behind the counter. “Is that police?” “Nope, some masked vigilantes,” his companion replied. Twist groaned. “Snips and Snails, right? Get out of there with your hooves on display.” “Yeah, or I’ll kick your asses so hard T’s sister will make a doctorate by studying ‘em.” Tootsie said, levitating Father Ted. “Hmm...” Snails looked at the approaching group. “I don’t know them. How do you think, who are they?” Snips shrugged. “No idea. That accent sounds familiar, but I got nothing.” “Stop talking and surrender,” Twist said, grabbing a paint gun. “You’re surrounded.” “What now?” Snips asked, leaning to Snails. “Should we surrender?” “I’m seriously considering that option,” Snails replied. “There’s four of them and we’re alone... Also, this one has a wrench, that one has a gun, and that little one with a green cape is just staring at us, smiling menacingly.” “How can you know?” Snips asked. “I can’t see her face. And it’s a cloak, if I’m not mistaken.” “I don’t know. I’m just–” Suddenly, Snails was interrupted by a sound of the window smashing. Two dark silhouettes landed on the floor and darted forward with an unnatural speed. “What da fu–” Tootsie jumped back when Tagalong ran away and rammed into her. “Button, haven’t you see ‘em?” “They’re too fast!” Button exclaimed, almost deafening everypony. “I don’t know who they are...” The two ponies stopped in the middle of the restaurant, between Snips and Snails, and the group of the vigilantes. Twist noticed that they had rollerskates on their hooves. They were both having similar outfits: goggles obscuring most of their faces, helmets and something that looked like the Wonderbolts’ flying suits, painted in flames. The only difference was that one of them had blonde mane, while the other looked a bit like Tagalong. “From the land of speed and glory...” the first one said. “... we come, fast as lightnings...” the other added. “... we come, servants of justice...” “... warriors of peace, freedom, and love...” “... to fight crime and protect ponies!” “A Cute Trauma!” “Pain Train!” They turned to Snips and Snails. “Prepare for trouble!” “I get it,” Tootsie Flute muttered, scratching her head. “Dey are just some idiots in colourful rags...” Twist cleared her throat, giving Tootsie a nasty glare. “Can’t you see that they’re stealing our criminals?” “Oh yeah.” Tootsie swung Father Ted around. “And dat makes me feel angry!” “Chill out,” Twist said. “I’m pretty sure we’ll manage to find a way to solve it without resorting to violence...” “Hey, you!” Dinky exclaimed. “We were here first!” The ginger-maned pony turned to her. “Maybe. But we’ll get out of here faster...” “Have you ever tried outrunning a potato?” Dinky asked. “What?” Dinky turned back. “Meet the Potato Mare!” A potato flew through the HayDonald’s, smashing itself on the ginger’s helmet. She shook it off and rushed forward blindly. Tagalong grabbed a chair and threw it at her, but the blonde attacker jumped and kicked it in mid-air. “You have trouble,” she muttered, charging at Tagalong. “Bugger off dat kid!” Tootsie exclaimed, throwing her lead pipe under the filly’s hooves. She tripped and fell face first. Before she could recover, paint from Twist’s gun splashed on her goggles, blinding her. “Sunny!” the other filly exclaimed, dodging Dinky’s attacks and jumping on the counter. She rode towards its other end when Tootsie blocked her path. “Da coroner will ‘ave 3D puzzle of your skull!” she exclaimed, swinging Father Ted at her opponent, who blocked it easily with a rollerskate. Tootsie barely avoided getting hit; she started to levitate her wrench quickly, trying to land a hit on the masked filly. “No chance!” The filly hit Tootsie in the chest, only to discover the plates underneath her suit. Under the counter, Snips and Snails were watching the fight carefully. “Do you know what’s going on here?” Snails asked. “It occurs to me that two groups of superheroes came here to catch us and are currently fighting over the right to do so,” Snips replied. “Don’t you think that we should leave this place before they finish?” “Indeed, we should.” Snips shrugged and walked out of the restaurant with his friend, carefully avoiding the fighting fillies. The duel between Tootsie and the ginger-maned filly had come to a stalemate. They were blocking each other’s blows, but couldn’t do anything else. Twist and Dinky were trying to shoot the masked pony off the counter, but she was dodging them effortlessly. “Tagalong, help her,” Twist muttered. Tagalong nodded and climbed on the counter, sneaking behind the rollerskating filly. She jumped on her back, trying to wrap her hooves around her neck. “Betrayal!” the filly exclaimed, falling from the counter. She landed on all four and shook Tagalong off her back. Tagalong flew in the air for a few feet and hit the ice cream machine. Tootsie and her opponent watched in stunned silence as the machine slowly collapsed, smashing Tagalong. The filly’s jaw dropped. “I... I killed her...” she muttered, tears flowing down her face. Tootsie approached her and wrapped her hoof around her. “Don’t worry...” Tootsie said, closing her eyes. She heard a loud “fwoosh!” and knew that her opponent was now blinded by a bright flash of Tagalong’s resurrection. She lifted her and threw her on the floor, pinning her to it. “Okay.” Tootsie opened her eyes and saw that her opponent lost her helmet. “Ya were tryin’ to steal our criminals... Dat made me angry... Ya killed my friend... Dat’s okay, she got better... But I absolutely hate such annoying cu–” Suddenly something heavy tackled her. She turned her head to see the blonde filly. Her goggles were still covered in paint. “How can ya see me?” Tootsie asked, vaguely remembering that her new opponent’s name was Sunny. “I don’t have to. Peachy sees you...” Sunny replied. “Exactly,” Peachy said. “Together, we’re–” She collapsed when a potato hit the back of her head. Groaning, she tried to get up, only to see Twist and Dinky standing above her. “I wanted to dump you in front of the police station,” Twist said. “But I think I’ll bring you to my sister...” Tagalong walked to Twist and whispered something into her ear. Twist nodded quickly. “I changed my mind,” Twist said. “Do you want to join us? We have medical help and our own base. And if there’s eight of us, we can get a group ticket to the bowling alley.” Peachy’s reply made Tagalong blush. Twist narrowed her eyes and looked at Tootsie, who was cornering Sunny next to the fries machine. “You’d be a really good addition to the team,” Twist said. “You’re good at fighting and–” The siren wailed in the distance. “I was just trying to tell you about that, but you were too busy fighting,” Twist heard Button’s voice in her headphones. “Run!” Twist exclaimed. Dinky rushed outside, conjuring a vine, and climbing on the nearest building. Tootsie and Tagalong galloped towards the park, while Twist ran in the opposite direction. Soon she saw Sunny and Peachy overtaking her and disappearing in the nooks. The sound of sirens was getting closer. Twist hid between the houses and started to wonder whether to take off her costume or not. Suddenly, she heard a drone above her. “This way is clear,” Button said. “My house is only two blocks from here.” “How about the rest?” Twist asked. “Tagalong and Tootsie are hiding in the cemetery,” Button replied. “And Dinky is already home.” “Try to catch the girls and show them the way...” Twist muttered, walking slowly towards Button’s house. “We need to think what to do about stuff such as a big puddle of Tag’s blood in the middle of the floor...” “If they have nothing to compare it to, she’s safe,” Nursery Rhyme said. “And I guess they’ll give it to me...” “I hope so...” Twist sighed. High above the town, a large, flying spoon was parked between the clouds. A small, grey filly was sitting in the bowl, watching the HayDonald’s from the distance. She shook her head, trying to fit in her vehicle more comfortably. “Amateurs,” she muttered to herself.