There was a chill in the air when Rarity woke. She felt it on her face and shoulders, and she pulled the blankets up higher to escape it. They were warm and fluffy and reminded her of huddling beneath Dash’s wings, and for a while she didn’t mind the cold.
How must it feel, to always have wings? To carry such a perfect blanket with you wherever you went? Rarity had flown before and found it not much to her liking, but in the muddled haze between sleep and waking, she came to the slow, fuzzy conclusion that the true benefit of wings, regardless of what pegasi thought, was to always be warm or to keep your lover warm.
That would be nice. In fact, it would be nice to have right now. She smiled and rolled over, her hooves searching for her bedmate.
Nothing. Empty blankets and cold sheets. Her eyes popped open and she let out a grumpy snort.
Well, fine. Maybe I did sleep in a bit late.
She yawned, stretched and sat up, aware of what a mess she was. The sheets spilled off her, puddling on the mattress, and she gave her coat a little shake to fluff it out. Her mane was still straight and unstyled except where Rainbow Dash had mangled it in her well-intentioned attempts at grooming.
The room was filled with the scent of stale sex, and she grimaced as she sniffed at herself. It wasn’t that she smelled bad, per se, but it would be obvious to anypony who walked within six feet what she had been up to last night, and probably whom she had done it to. Hopefully Rainbow Dash realized the same thing, and wasn’t traipsing about Ponyville smelling like her. It was, in other words, definitely time for a bath.
A half-hour later, Rarity emerged from the bathroom feeling fresher than she had in days. The sun was well above the horizon, and the frost had melted from the window panes. She nudged the window open with a bit of magic. It let in the morning’s chill, but the air was sweet and clean and smelled faintly of fallen leaves. Under other circumstances, she would have paid for a candle with the same scent. As it was, she leaned on the windowsill and drew in a deep breath, letting the cold shock invade her lungs and chase away the last wisps of sleep draped over her mind.
Sweetie Belle was downstairs in the kitchen, setting out the last plates of what looked to be a lavish breakfast. Rarity stopped at the threshold and blinked at the sight.
“Oh, hello Sweetie. I thought you…” She paused, collecting her thoughts. “I didn’t expect to see you this morning.”
“Uh huh.” Sweetie Belle set a steaming teapot on a plate in the center of the table, then pulled out a pair of chairs and sat in one. “You mean, you thought I’d spend the night with my coltfriend, sleep in, and not be back until noon?”
Yes! “Of course not, darling. I just imagined you had better things to do than make us breakfast.” She took the seat beside Sweetie Belle and scooped a few strawberries and slices of melon onto her plate. “But I am very grateful you did. I hope things went well?”
Sweetie nibbled on an apple quarter sprinkled with salt. “They did. We listened to some music and played cards, and then, because I’m such a good little sister and I knew you wouldn’t want anypony listening too closely to you and Rainbow Dash last night, I stayed the night. On his couch.”
“Mhm.” Rarity poured herself a cup of the tea and held it beneath her muzzle to inhale the steam. Some sort of fruity chai mate. She took a tiny sip. Not bad. “Cards and music. Anything… else?”
Sweetie took her time before answering. She polished off the rest of her apple and chased it down with half a cup of tea. “What is it you always say, Rarity? ‘A lady doesn’t kiss and tell’?”
“We’re sisters, Sweetie. We have no secrets.” At least, not about silly things like love. Other secrets – well, some of them were worth keeping.
“I told you, I spent the night on his couch.” For the first time, a faint blush showed through Sweetie’s coat, turning her cheeks a faint shell pink.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. She was patient. She could wait.
The blush doubled. Sweetie stared at her little teacup, as though addressing it. “And, uh, so did he.”
Rarity grinned. “And?”
“And! That’s all I intend to say.” Sweetie set her teacup down and tilted her muzzle up, but despite the haughty expression a faint smile teased at her lips. “It was a lovely evening and we enjoyed ourselves. But he had to get up early for work and so I came back. Now, what about you and Dash?”
“Oh, that.” Rarity waved her hoof, as though brushing away a pesky fly. “I think we understand each other, now.”
“Understand each other?”
“Yes.”
“Ah.” Sweetie took another sip of her tea. “A euphemism, I assume.”
“No, it really isn’t. We’ve spent so much time together lately, learned so much about each other… I think we do understand each other, and we appreciate each other.” Rarity closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the worst moments of the past two weeks – the horrible sense of shame when Rainbow Dash confronted her for invading her dreams, and the dread she felt upon waking after Rainbow Dash did the same to her. The feeling, inescapable, that no pony could ever stand to lie beside, much less love, a mare so stained by mistakes and greed and self-loathing.
But, of course, there was one such pony. The most loyal pony who had ever lived, and Rarity realized she was a fool for not seeing it sooner.
“Oh.” Sweetie Belle swallowed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply. I’m very glad for both of you, and I’m very proud of how much you’ve helped her.”
“Would you believe she helped me more?” Rarity smiled as she set her teacup down and stood. “Oh, and it was also a euphemism.”
Sweetie blinked. “Wait, so you did…”
Rarity let her grin speak for itself.
Sweetie laughed. It was a light, airy sound, like bells, and Rarity could have listened to it all day. A moment later Sweetie swept her up in a hug, and they held each other tight.
“Oh, I’m so happy for you, sis!” Sweetie leaned back and gave Rarity a gentle punch in the shoulder. “So, is it official now? Can I call you a couple?”
“We should probably ask Rainbow Dash first.” Speaking of the mare, Rarity glanced around the kitchen for any sign of her departure. “Where is she, anyway? Did you catch her when she came down?”
There was a moment’s pause. Sweetie tilted her head. “Er, no? I thought she was still asleep. With you.”
For the first time that morning, a niggling worm of uncertainty crawled its way up the back of her neck. Why had the bed been empty? Did Dash have somewhere else to be?
Or was there someplace she didn’t want to be?
Sweetie was still staring at her. Rarity shook herself from her reverie and put on a smile.
“Oh, she must've gotten up early. Now that I think about it, she mentioned something about meeting the weather team,” she lied. She had plenty of practice lying – mostly with herself, but it was all the same.
“Anyway, I've got a few errands to run,” she continued before Sweetie could break in. “Thank you for the breakfast, dear. I'll be back in a bit. Taa!”
She couldn't get out the door fast enough.
* * *
The world's surface was a map.
From ten thousand feet in the air, rivers were sparkling blue lines. Forests were a pastiche of color based on the dominant tree species: scarlet and orange for maples, butter for ashes and birch, brown for the dour oaks. Only the mountains, havens for pines and cedars, kept their green mantle this deep into autumn. Roads were grids, growing denser the closer they approached to the cities. Railroad tracks stitched their way from horizon to horizon like sutures holding the land together. Clouds cast dark shadows on the map, stains where an errant god had spilled her ink.
How many months had it been since Rainbow Dash had looked down at the world from this height? More than half a year, at least. Even her brief glides over the past two weeks, showing off for Rarity, hadn’t been real flight. Not long-distance soaring, the kind pegasi were meant for.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t remember much about the days after the accident. The painkillers the doctors dripped into her bloodstream were powerful drugs, and her stay in the hospital was little more than a hazy, tormented hell. But they kept her from thinking too much about Soarin and Zephyr, or reflecting on the knowledge that, as he lay dying on the charred earth, she had abandoned him.
But she did remember the first time she flew after the accident. The first real flight – not just from cloud to cloud in Cloudsdale. She’d gone out from the city, her broken leg still swaddled and splinted against her chest, and she soared over the vast plains that stretched west of Canterlot.
Out there, with the sky an infinite hollow above, the flat earth expanding boundless below, and the empty air all around, she realized how alone she was. A speck of dust, a single atom in an endless void. And she no longer had a pony to fly by her side.
It was the last time she flew for nearly six months. Until Rarity found her by chance, that day in Fillydelphia two weeks back.
She closed her eyes. A burst of wind tried to knock her off path, but her wings adjusted automatically, dozens of muscles pitching her feathers at just the right angle to stay on course. Even after six months, she was still a natural flyer. The best in the world, they'd once called her.
She’d never been as good as Soarin, though. Faster, yeah, but nopony expected stallions to be fast in the air. Instead he was an artist, spinning and gyring through the most complex aerobatics as easily as most ponies walked across the room. Some days, when they were practicing, she would just watch him go through his routines.
She rolled onto her back, wings still outspread, and stared up at the sky. A few high cirrus clouds gave texture to the otherwise perfect blue of an autumn morning, and she found herself wondering again what they felt like. Perhaps, somewhere, there was a pegasus whose special talent was to fly so high and hold their breath so long they could touch those faint feathery wisps, and stand on them for a few trembling moments before plummeting back down to earth.
But Rainbow Dash was not that pony. Even at her zenith, the cirrus clouds mocked her from above. She gave them a little frown.
Another gust of wind caught her, and she tumbled in the air, too distracted to respond correctly. She scowled and dove a few thousand feet, searching for a less turbulent zone.
She found calmer air. She couldn't find peace of mind.
* * *
Twilight Sparkle opened the Library door after the second set of knocks. Her mane was frazzled from sleep, and the bags under her eyes suggested she had just woken up.
“Rarity,” she said. Rasped, really. “Come in, come in. I think Spike’s got some coffee brewing. Celestia, I hope he’s got some coffee brewing.”
“I'm sorry, dear. Did I wake you?” Rarity forced the nervous quiver from her voice. She wasn't nervous at all, in fact. She was just fine. Everything was fine.
“It was time to get up anyway,” Twilight said as they trotted to the kitchen. In other words, yes. “Gimme a moment.”
The castle’s kitchen was about five times larger than it needed to be, considering the castle’s only permanent inhabitant was Twilight herself. Four free-standing counters stood in long rows in the middle of the cavernous space, each equipped with food preparation stations that, as far as Rarity knew, had never been used. Above them, hanging like stalactites from pegs over the counters, were hundreds of pots and pans, graters and sieves, glasses and trays and woks – at least ten different woks – all clanging like crystal chimes when a breeze blew through the empty heights. A pegasus could fly up there without feeling cramped.
The kitchen was empty but not uninhabited – Spike was busy at one of the sinks with some glassware. Beside him, already bubbling and filling the air with the lifegiving scent of caffeine, was a gem-fired coffee pot. He looked up as they entered and raised an eyebrow.
“Hey girls,” he said. “Would you like some, uh…” He trailed off as Twilight picked up the coffee pot and carried it over to an empty countertop with a pair of high stools. She set it down, hopped up onto the stool, and stared at the carafe as the reservoir slowly filled with dark liquid.
“Uh, some mugs to go with your coffee?” he finished.
“Thank you, Spikey,” Rarity said. She stood up on her rear legs to give him a peck on the cheek, then carried a pair of mugs over to Twilight’s seat. “Cup, Twilight?”
“Soon, soon.” Twilight gave the pot a nudge with her hoof. “C’mon, fill up. Fill faster.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. In its own way, it was reassuring that no matter how long she was gone from Ponyville, some things never changed – things like Twilight’s tendency to stay up too late with her books, and then loll in bed the next morning until Spike literally dragged her out. Apparently, even being a princess couldn’t turn their librarian into an early bird.
Soon enough they each had a steaming mug in their hooves, though Twilight’s became an empty mug before Rarity had even finished her first sip. Rarity watched in amazement as Twilight finished her second cup just as quickly, and started on her third.
“Goodness, Twilight. Maybe you should just drink from the pot?”
Twilight snorted. “Spike won’t let me.”
“It’s true,” Spike said. He shut off the sink and dried his claws on a towel hanging from a cabinet handle. “Somedrake has to enforce the rules.”
Rarity eyed the dwindling pot. “Well, I’d offer you a cup, but I’m not sure we’ll have any to spare.”
“It’s fine, I prefer tea anyway. Anyway, I’m going to Sugarcube Corner. Want anything?”
“I already ate, but thank you, darling.”
Twilight shook her head. “No. Wait, yes! Get some of those pink strawberry muffins with the sugary crumbly stuff on top.”
The minutes after Spike’s departure were silent as Twilight finished her third cup of coffee. Rarity sipped at the rest of hers, and wondered if it would be better to start their conversation now, or wait until after Twilight’s inevitable retreat to go pee.
Finally, Twilight set her mug down and let out a long sigh. “Ah, that’s the stuff. Best number one assistant ever.”
“Better, dear?”
“Yes, much.” Twilight's voice was almost normal. “Now, what brings you by so early?”
Rarity glanced at the clock over the stove. It was nearly ten in the morning. She looked back at Twilight, and then back at the clock.
“Er, uh, sometimes I stay up reading for a few minutes.” She took another sip. “Or hours. Anyway! How are you?”
“Oh, good, good. You haven't seen Rainbow Dash around, have you?”
“Like, while I was sleeping?”
Oh, hm. Rarity frowned. “I suppose not. I apologize, Twilight. I've woken you up, and now I'm bothering you with silly questions.”
Twilight chuckled. “It's okay, Rarity. Like I said, time to get up anyway. And now I have coffee, so everything is fine.”
Ah, would that all of life's problems could be solved by coffee. Rarity sighed wistfully. “Actually, dear, as long as I've got you... do you mind if I ask another question?”
“Not at all.” Twilight set the mug down, looking interested. “What would you like to know?”
“Well, it's about your coltfriend, Time Turner...” Rarity trailed off, trying to order her thoughts.
“Oh, I was thinking about that last night, actually,” Twilight said. “I checked the literature, and the standard for measuring penis length is from the tip of the glans while erect to the base of the scrotum. You're supposed to use a special measuring tape, but I have a length of string that should work just as—”
“Actually, darling, I had a different question.” Though, to be honest, that did sound very interesting and might deserve further consideration at some point. “When did you two fall in love?”
Twilight blinked, her mouth still open. She tilted her head and bit her lip, her eyes turned upward as she thought.
“You know... I'm really not sure. We met at a conference on temporal physics, where he was presenting a theory on the nonlinear nature of time.” She paused to pour herself another cup. “Which is stupid, by the way. Time flows in one direction. Anyway, we got to arguing over some of his equations, and then we got kicked out of the conference, so we had to go to a coffee shop to keep arguing. Then we agreed to meet for dinner to argue some more. At some point we stopped arguing, and just enjoyed talking with each other, and... heh, you know, I don't really know when I fell in love with him. I just kind of realized it one day. How weird is that?”
Rarity sighed. “Not so weird, I think. Dash said the same thing about her and Soarin. Minus everything about physics. And I think she said something about wrestling instead of arguing.”
Twilight nodded. “Love at first sight is for fairy tales. Real life is messier.”
“Too messy, sometimes. Everything was easier when we were just saving the world. Now I look at my parents, or the Cakes, and I realize that what they did was much harder. Loving somepony, living with them, raising foals with them… Stars, Twilight. They’re better heroes than I ever was.”
“Perhaps being in love is everyone’s chance to be a hero.” Twilight took a measured sip of her coffee – apparently her tank was nearly full. “And I think you’re selling yourself a little short, by the way. And not just for saving the world. For being a friend.”
Rarity couldn’t help but blush. “That’s very kind of you, darling.”
“It’s true. And someday I think you’ll make somepony very happy.”
Ah, that again. Rarity found her thoughts circling back to the pegasus who hadn’t woken up beside her that morning. “I wish I shared your confidence, Twilight.”
“I’m not in the habit of making baseless predictions, Rarity. I rely on evidence. For example, the way Rainbow Dash was acting when she showed up here the other morning, demanding that I make another dreamwalking gem for her to use with you. She must care very deeply to want to do that.”
Rarity looked away. “Maybe she was just being a friend. She’s very loyal, you know.”
“Bullshit, Rarity.” To her credit, Twilight blushed as she uttered the vulgarity, but it didn’t slow her down. “There’s being loyal, and there’s being in love.”
If she loves me, where is she now? Rarity bit back the words before they could escape. “I think… I think Dash is still working things out.”
“Uh huh. And if she decides she does love you?”
She’s seen the worst of me. If she can still find room in her heart for me after that… Rarity shook her head. “Let’s not presuppose too much, darling. If you see Rainbow Dash, please tell her to find me.”
And then she left to resume her search.
* * *
The air was calmer a mile above the mountains. As smooth as cream. Dash soared across the sky on still wings, riding from thermal to thermal with the effortless grace that first drew Soarin's eye.
You're an idiot, you know?
Yeah, she knew. It was about the only thing she knew at that moment. Everything else was a confused jumble. Back in Ponyville was a beautiful, caring, generous unicorn who had put herself through hell for Rainbow Dash’s sake. A wonderful mare who had shared everything with her, who helped her more than every other friend she had put together. A lover who brought her back to life. And now she was in a bed by herself, perhaps wondering where Rainbow Dash had flown off to.
She was abandoning her friends to be loyal to a ghost.
“Love is not a coin that you spend once and lose forever.” Rarity's words, dimly remembered, rattled around her mind. Of course, Rarity didn't know anything about love. She'd said so herself.
She called herself a slut. A whore. She really believed those things.
The monster, the fragment of Rarity’s personality that haunted her dreams, it had said there was one thing Rarity would never be able to share, and at the time Rainbow Dash hadn’t given it much thought. After all, the dreams were a confusing, fractured place, filled with memories like poison. But now, flying ten thousand feet in the air, Rainbow realized what she meant.
Her heart. Rarity could never love.
And yet… last night, Rarity had shared her body. And for the past two weeks she had done what no other pony could – she put the pieces of Rainbow Dash back together, even though it meant baring her most painful secrets. Rarity, the pony for whom everything had to be perfect, invited Rainbow in to see the darkest corners of her heart.
“It was always love, wasn’t it?” she mumbled. The rushing wind stole the words away. “The monster was wrong.”
So, there it was. An offer had been presented, if she were brave enough to accept it. If she could set aside Soarin’s memory and admit that another pony had taken his place in her heart.
Six months ago they burned his body and scattered his ashes to the wind. She knew enough about meteorology and atmospherics to know that if she flew for a millions years, through the billions of cubic kilometers of air that surrounded the world, she might never come across a single molecule that had once belonged to her lover. He was gone.
But his spirit remained. When she closed her eyes, she could see his smile and smell his faint scent of sweat and clouds and feathers. She could hear his laugh.
“What would you say, Soarin?” she whispered.
Nothing replied, of course. She couldn’t speak for him, and she didn’t believe in ghosts. There was only the wind, and the answer that she had always known. The only answer he could have ever given, because he was a good pony, better than she deserved.
Be happy.
She sighed and wheeled in the air. She was alone again, a blue dot in the middle of the vast blue sky. She was alone again, but she didn't have to stay that way.
She dove toward the earth, racing back to Ponyville.
* * *
It was nearly noon by the time Rarity made it back home. The morning buzz of the town had ebbed, giving way to the mid-day lull as ponies knocked off from work for lunch or naps. Only the market in the town square was still busy as farmers set out the season’s bounty.
Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found. Of course, Rainbow was a pegasus, so it was possible that Rarity simply wasn’t looking in the right places. Either way, there was no point in wandering through Ponyville’s streets looking for her. She would return to the Boutique, or she wouldn’t. All Rarity could do was wait.
Studio. It’s Sweetie’s studio now, not the Boutique. She pushed open the door and walked in.
“Sweetie, I'm back. I'll be upstairs if you...” She nearly stumbled. Sweetie was sitting on the couch, munching on the remains of a sandwich.
That wasn't what stopped her. Seated beside Sweetie was a nervous Rainbow Dash. The pegasus licked her lips and stood.
“Hey sis, welcome back.” Sweetie's eyes darted between them. “I'll just leave you two for a moment. Want a sandwich?”
Rarity didn't answer. She couldn't answer. Sweetie waited another moment, then chuckled and trotted into the kitchen.
Silence. From the kitchen came the sound of running water. Dash coughed into her hoof, and broke first.
“Hey, uh... okay, first, I'm sorry about this morning. It was not cool to bail on you like that, especially after all we talked about last night. I'm really, really sorry.”
She waited. Rarity gave her a tiny nod.
“Whew, okay, good,” Dash continued. “Second, I was doing some thinking, and you're right. Love isn't some coin that you just spend once. Love isn't like money at all. You can have as much as you want. I can still love Soarin. I can love Soarin, and maybe love somepony else...” Her voice grew faint, almost inaudible as she finished.
Rarity bobbed her head. The lump in her throat refused to budge, and she swallowed several times before she could speak.
“That's... that's very good to hear, darling. I’ve also been thinking, and speaking to some smart friends. I think… maybe it’s time to forgive myself for some of my mistakes. After all, if somepony can love me, maybe I’m not so worthless after all.”
“You’re not worthless, Rarity. Never.” Dash got up from the couch and walked over, pressing her cheek against Rarity’s. “You’re smart, and generous, and stronger than anypony I’ve ever met.”
Rarity pressed her nose against Dash’s neck and drew in a deep breath. Ozone, like the air after a thunderstorm, and the faint dust of feathers. “There’s one pony I know who’s stronger. She’s loyal, too.”
“Yeah? She sounds like a catch.”
“She’s not bad.” Rarity leaned back and stared into Dash’s eyes. “Can I say it, Dash? I love you.”
Rainbow grinned, and her voice caught as she replied. “And I love you. Rares.” She sniffled. “Heh, wow, took us a while to get around to that, huh?”
Rarity waved a hoof, then dabbed at her eyes with her fetlock. “Good things take time, Darling.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Dash's for a long, gentle kiss.
“Wow, okay, yeah,” Dash said sometime later. “You and me, though... We're a bit different. Can it really work?”
Rarity tilted her head. “You said it took awhile for you and Soarin to realize you were in love, right?” When Dash nodded, she continued. “Well, I'm willing to give it a try, if you are.”
And they did.