I looked between the two scans in front of my table. Normal brain. Crazy brain. Normal brain. My brain. Back and forth. Normal. Crazy. Good. Bad. My brain had some weird restructuring going on and looked like a Hearth’s Warming Tree gone overboard, while a normal brain just had a few centers of glowing activity at any time.
“We want to see what your brain looks like when you’re hallucinating,” Dr. Grey Matter said as I was sent into the machine. “Do you think you can induce hallucinations for me?”
I shook my head, sending the memory away and going back to looking at the two pictures. Where did they get the other one? Was it just a standard normal brain? What was a standard normal brain? Everypony was a little odd, right? Nope, just you. I glanced to the bottle of pills they’d given me with some long unpronounceable name. I just remembered its street name: Deep Sleep. Would it be worth it to take it again? Just to get some rest from everything for a few hours?
“Knock knock,” Mom said, knocking on the door to my room. “Can I come in, Sweetie?”
“Sure,” I said, weaving the spell Princess Luna’d taught me last night and sending out a pulse of magic, looking for any threads of Dreaming around me. If you were normal crazy, the spell wouldn’t work, but you’re extra-strength Sweetie crazy. I ignored the voice as the magic bounced back to me and I felt the results. She was real. “How are you? How’s Twilight? How’s Scootaloo?”
“You know, you could come out and ask us,” Mom said, smiling. “We’d love to hear from you. Luna should be here soon.”
“I’ll probably be out later,” I said, rubbing the back of my head and glancing to where the curtains hid my window. “Just wanting to think right now. Alone. Now, how are you all?”
“I’m as well as can be expected, Scootaloo’s… Sweetie, is something wrong with her? She’s been acting odd these last few days,” Mom said, sitting next to me at my little table in the corner.
“Probably just getting used to her feminine side,” I said, shrugging and looking back to the copies of my scan results. “You know, she’s experiencing a whole new part of herself, that would make anypony act odd, right?”
Mom nodded, but I noticed the way her eyes narrowed for a second. “Yes, I suppose that’s true. It seems we’ve all been learning a lot about ourselves lately,” she said. She shook her head. “I know I’m being rather silly and beating on an old drum, but I’m just worried about your recovery, especially after yesterday.”
“I know,” I said, slumping my head down on top of the scans. “And it’s fine, maybe you should be worried and… I just don’t want to go back to the hospital, you know?”
Mom wrapped a hoof around me. “That won’t happen unless it’s absolutely necessary, Sweetie. Well, you’ll be going back for daily scans, but you won’t be staying there. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to be bedridden all day.”
“Wish I was in my own bed,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “The hotel’s bed’s better than the hospital bed, but I miss my bed back at the Boutique. I miss the Boutique.” I’d even take my penthouse bed over the hotel bed, now. It was better for what I had in mind with Scootaloo, anyways.
There was a drawn out ‘hmm’ from Mom. “Yes, about the Boutique, well... Sweetie, it’s a long story, but I kind of… sold it.”
“What?!” I shouted, sitting up and tugging Mom back with me. “You sold the Boutique? Are you crazy? That was… that was your dream. That was the most important thing in the world to you. I remember how mad you were when I burned it down. Accidentally burned it down.”
“Yes, I remember,” Mom said, nodding her head and untangling from me. “Very well, in fact – but no, the Boutique was never what was most important to me. You were, and… once my relationship with Twilight became public knowledge, the law forced me to give it up. Dating royalty gave me an unfair edge over my competitors.”
“So you gave up dressmaking for Twilight?” I asked, tilting my head at her. “You love her that much?”
She nodded. “I do, but I didn’t have to give up dressmaking completely. I still take commissions from pre-existing clients, and my designs are raffled off to various other stores.” Mom smiled at something I didn’t understand. “I managed to find my balance.”
“I wish I had somepony I loved enough to give up singing for.” I laughed. “Actually, I guess first, I’d have to be able to sing.”
“You’ll get there,” Mom said, patting me on the back. “Oh! Those records you requested came in today. It’s quite the collection.”
“Well, yeah,” I said, getting to my hooves and trotting to the door. “I need to understand whole other genres of music. I don’t just want to be the show-tunes mare any more; I want to do real stuff. I want to make my own songs, but first I need to know what type of songs I want to make. What about rock? That’s different.”
Mom grabbed the door with her magic before I could, keeping it shut. “That would be… different, certainly. I never imagined you having the voice for it, but…” She sighed. “Listen first, I suppose. Learn what you want to write, and then go after it. If that’s rock and roll, you’ll have my full support, even if I can’t offer much fashion advice in that particular department.”
I tried to imagine that, wearing a faux leather jacket, maybe putting my hair up in a mohawk. I laughed. Maybe not. Laughter? That’s not self-loathing. “Can’t be sad all the time,” I said, shaking my head and turning back to the door. “Anyways, can you let me out? I kind of want to get to listening.”
“Certainly,” Mom said, smiling but keeping her horn lit. “But first, you need to talk with Doctor Hooves.”
“Ugh, do I have to?” I asked, shaking my head. “Can’t we put it off until tomorrow?”
“Absolutely not,” Mom said. “He is your doctor, your regular meetings with him are a condition of your release, and after the last few days you’ve had, you are not getting out of it.”
“But I’m feeling better now,” I said, smiling for her. “I feel good, and if I start talking with him, I’ll stop feeling good, and isn’t feeling good kind of the whole point of seeing him?”
“No, Sweetie,” Mom said, tapping her hoof. “The point isn’t feeling good, it’s recovering. Ignoring your issues is like leaving a wound undressed. Unhealthy and potentially lethal.”
My ears went flat. “Fine. He’s right outside the door, isn’t he?”
“Mhmm-hmm,” she said, nodding and letting the door swing open to reveal my doctor. “You two have fun. In the meantime, I’ll be making sure Twilight doesn’t refer to you as ‘the subject’ again.” She growled, heading to the exit. “Oh, and checking on Scootaloo, of course, the poor dear’s been terribly indecisive on these dresses she wants me to make.” Mom gave me a look at that, like she was trying to solve one of her crossword puzzles and make a word fit right.
“Hello, Sweetie,” Doctor Hooves said, trotting past my mom and entering my room, saddlebags scraping the doorway. “I heard you had a busy few days.”
I laughed. “You heard already?” I asked, trotting back to my seat.
“The rough outline,” he admitted, taking a seat at the table and looking at my scans. “But I want to hear from you what happened. Without their editorializing and filtering.”
“Well, I went full crazy.” He tsked at the last word. “Like, I just started hallucinating and didn’t even realize it. You’ve got to admit, that’s pretty crazy.”
“So, you started hallucinating worse than usual. Why?” he asked, ignoring my question and pulling his pen and notebook out from his saddlebag.
“Uhmm… because I’m crazy?” I said, tilting my head at him. “Didn’t I just tell you that? I thought therapists were supposed to be good listeners.”
“We are,” he said, scratching into his notebook. “Now, tell me the truth.”
“I am,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Why can’t you just accept crazy as an answer?”
“Because if I did, I wouldn’t be a very good therapist. Now, in the past, your hallucinatory episodes have been triggered by strong emotions, which…” he grabbed my scan and looked at it. “Seems to have some neurological support. So, was anything particularly upsetting when this episode happened?”
I laughed. “I was happy. For the first time in… years, I felt almost okay, so nope. Nothing upsetting. The only stupid upsetting thing was me.” I winced. I’d promised Mom I wouldn’t, even if I deserved it. “Sorry,” I said.” Same old Sweetie, still finding things to mess up.
“Really,” he said, leaning in closer to me. “You felt happy? Why?”
“What, am I not allowed to feel happy now? Do I have to keep suffering forever? Is not wanting to feel awful all the time too much to ask for?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I never said that, Sweetie,” he said, looking at me with a complete lack of judgment. “But it’s interesting to me your mind immediately went there. Not surprising, though, considering the immense feelings of guilt you’ve expressed over the course of our sessions. So, did your feelings of happiness make you feel guilty?”
“I guess,” I said, looking away from him. “Like, I did all this awful stuff, and then I started feeling good, even though–” I bit my tongue.
“What?” he asked, eyes still boring down into me. “You know anything you tell me will be in the strictest confidence.”
“Well, you know Scootaloo and I are kind of dating, right?” I asked.
He nodded. “You mentioned that in your previous sessions. I’m assuming that’s part of the reason you were in such good spirits before your episode.”
“Yeah,” I said, nodding my head and looking at the pill bottle. “You know, those are the same pills I used to use to sleep back in the penthouse. It was the only way I could get through a night without nightmares.”
“Focus, Sweetie,” he said, closing his eyes. “I know this is unpleasant for you, but stay with me.”
And I’d tried to change the subject without realizing it. Great. Just another thing you did wrong. We could make a list if there was enough paper in the world. I snorted. Not listening to them today.
“Sorry, so… yeah, I was feeling good, I was happy, she loved me – loves me – but…” I shook my head. “She loves me, but she likes stallions, so… She wants a relationship where she can feel kind of subby. Uhmm… submissive, that’s when–”
“I’m familiar with the basic tenets of BDSM. It’s actually rather fascinating, despite being demonized for years, recent research indicates it might allow for increased mental health...” He shook his head. “Anyways, you don’t need to explain terms for my benefit.”
“Alright,” I said, nodding my head. “So, she likes going all subby, and I kind of like driving her there, but at the same time… It’s weird, I used to boss ponies around, and it was bad, but now she wants me to boss her around a little, and I like it. Does that make me bad?”
“Why do you like it?” he asked, ignoring my question.
“Well, I wouldn’t do it if she didn’t want me to, so it’s nice that it makes her happy, but… I like seeing her change. I like that little feeling of power, and I’m not doing it to hurt her. I’m doing what she wants, but… it’s different. After years of being told what to do by Bright Lights and just being completely powerless, it’s nice to have this.” I sighed. “But… it’s confusing, what I did before was bad, but now she wants me to do the same thing, and how does that make it okay? Why do I enjoy it so much?”
“I see,” he said. “So on the one hoof, you have your desire to feel in control of your life, and on the other, we have your fear of backsliding. I can see how that would put you under some strain.”
“But am I wrong?” I asked, looking up at him and tracing a hoof along the table. “Like, she wants me to do that stuff to her, and I’m not hurting her, and I really kind of like it, but at the same time, I feel really… You’re right, I don’t want to be her again, and that’s the kind of stuff she did.”
“Well,” Doctor Hooves said, nodding his head, “if she didn’t want you to do those things to her anymore, would you stop?”
“Of course,” I said. “But she also kind of wants me to force her around a little, so… I don’t know when I’m supposed to actually stop and when she wants me to force her to get all subby.”
“That’s what the safe word is for,” he said, looking up at me.
“Safe word?” I asked, tilting my head. “Uhmm… what’s that?”
He frowned. “When you were engaged in BDSM play previously, it was with Bright Lights, wasn’t it?”
I nodded. “Yeah, she was the only one who… she liked telling me what to do. She liked seeing me helpless and bound.”
“And she didn’t give you a safe word to use,” he said, shaking his head. “Sweetie, it’s very important that both partners have a safe word, so if a line is crossed, the… scene, I believe it’s called, immediately ends.”
“Okay,” I said. “So… if I try to make Scootaloo do something she really doesn’t want to do, like wear a dress while working, she can just say the word, and I’ll back off. That would… help out. Also, would it really be BDSM if she just wants me to make her feel all feminine? It’s not like I’m whipping her. Really, it’s less BDSM and more DS.”
“Perhaps,” he said, making a note. “Although I think the basic rules for healthy BDSM play still apply in your case. It’s important Scootaloo have the power to end the scene the instant she feels you’ve crossed the line. Otherwise…”
“Yeah.” I shuddered, remembering some of Bright Lights games. “No, letting her pick a safe word sounds good. Also, I really do like being dominant and stuff, but at the same time… is it so wrong for me to be feminine, too? Not… I don’t know, I feel like I have to be the Sweetie she wants, though.”
“How has that traditionally worked out for you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes in response.
“Okay, so I shouldn’t change myself for anypony else, but this isn’t anypony else, this is Scootaloo, she loves me, and I just want her to be happy, and I love her too, and if me being ‘stallioney’ all the time is what she wants, I can do that.”
He shook his head. “Perhaps you should talk with Scootaloo about what you want. She’s been through a great deal trying to help you, and I’m sure if she knew her actions were indirectly hurting you–”
“They’re also helping,” I added.
“Yes, still, I’m sure if you told her how you felt, she’d help work something out,” he said. “Remember how important communication is in any relationship, especially a romantic one.”
“Alright,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll talk with her once we’re done, so… can we call it for the day?”
He laughed. “It hasn’t even been ten minutes, Sweetie. No, I actually prepared some calming meditations for you to practice so we can hopefully limit your episodes. If they are tied to your emotional state, then learning self-mastery can only help you. Now, I suppose the most basic are breathing exercises…” I nodded along to his words as an itch blossomed in the back of my head. If she knew she was hurting me… I didn’t finish the thought.
♪♪♪
“Hey,” I said, trotting into the living room of our hotel suite while the doctor headed for the exit. Mom and Scootaloo sat talking on the couch, while Twilight and – Oh, Princess Luna was here now – sat around the dining table, which was now filled with magical textbooks and scan results. All four heads swiveled around to look at me. “I’m… feeling a lot better now. Scootaloo, could we talk? Oh, and uhmm… hi, Princess Luna. Good to see you outside of the Dreaming.” I saw a stack of cardboard boxes in the corner and grabbed one with my magic. “And bring a box, Scootaloo.”
“A pleasure to see you too, Sweetie Belle,” Luna said while Scootaloo trotted over to the corner. “And please, there’s no need to rely on formality, we’re all friends here.” She glanced at Scootaloo. “And almost all of us are either princesses or princesses-in-waiting.”
“Don’t rub it in,” Scootaloo said, snapping her wings out and somehow balancing one of the boxes onto her back. She smiled as she saw my look. “Tricks of being a courier. You get to know how to carry stuff.”
“I guess,” I said, moving back to the hallway. “I’ll be out with the rest of you in a few minutes. I think I’m done hiding in my room for now.”
“I’m very pleased to hear it, Sweetie,” Mom said, smiling at me. “Isn’t talking with somepony better than stewing alone with your thoughts?”
“Yeah…” I groaned as Scootaloo entered the hallway. “How’d you know?”
Something twinkled in her eyes. “I have some experience keeping things to myself, and it’s never made me feel better in the long run.” She looked at Twilight who now had her head back in her books. “In fact, I think our relationship really started when I unburdened myself to her. Granted, we didn’t start dating for another month, but that was the moment things started to change.”
“You mean when you showed up at my doorstep in the middle of the night, during a massive thunderstorm, and completely soaked?” Twilight asked, getting up and trotting over to my Mom to nuzzle her cheek and take a seat near her. “Do you know how worried I was about you?”
Mom smiled and kissed Twilight’s cheek. “I think it worked out, don’t you?”
I closed the door on the two, leaving Luna trapped with the lovebirds, and opened the door to my room. “You know, I still don’t get why you keep the windows covered all the time,” Scootaloo said as she came in behind me. “Blue skies always make me feel better.”
“Yeah, but heights don’t make me feel better,” I said, floating my box next to my bed. “If we were on the first floor, then maybe, but we’re not.”
She winced. “Got it, sorry. Don’t know how I forgot.”
“It happens,” I said, lowering my box to the ground and shrugging. “At least you understand.”
“Yeah, I still don’t get the mirror thing though,” she said, shaking her head and looking to where a bedsheet rested over the vanity. “Anyways, what’s up? You’re not acting all stallioney like you have the last few days. Something wrong?”
“That’s kind of one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. It’s… I like being dommy with you most of the time, but sometimes, I really just want to be vulnerable and freak out and beg you to tell me everything’s going to be okay. Not all the time, probably not even most of the time, but definitely some times. Can you live with that?” I asked, eyes begging her to say yes. “I promise the rest of the time, I’ll make up for it by driving you crazy with femininity. Like… I’ve been brainstorming some stuff we can do once you feel up for… not exactly sex, but pretty close. How do you feel about being tied down? I promise, it won’t hurt.”
“Uhmm… I think I can do that,” Scootaloo said before pausing. “Wait, do you mean now?”
I shook my head. “No! Unless… do you want me to tie you up now and do stuff to you?” My eyes glinted. “Because I totally could.” I looked at the bed. “Well… not without a four-post bed or some rope, but we can totally get some or go to my penthouse or I can think of something else.” I grinned. “Actually, I can think of a lot of things.”
“But it won’t be all sensitive and mare-ish, right?” Scootaloo asked.
I laughed and stepped forward. “But I thought you wanted to feel like a mare. To get in touch with your burning femininity and be turned into a quivering puddle of mareishness. To have every last bit of your restraint washed away. Was I wrong? Do you want something different?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head and trying to suppress the little quiver in her back legs. “That sounds… good, I just–”
“You don’t want to do anything to me until you get used to the whole ‘being with another mare’ thing. Instead, you just want me to do things to you, and I’m completely fine with that. I can do all sorts of things to you.” I grinned and leaned in to nibble on her ear before whispering. “All sorts of really fun things. Things you’ll never be able to forget.” I bolted my head back. “Oh! But first, we should have a safe word.”
“A safe word?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head. “Why?”
“It’s a BDSM thing, apparently,” I said, bouncing on my hooves. “That way, whenever you say it, I’ll know to immediately stop whatever I’m doing.”
“What about ‘no’?” Scootaloo asked. “‘No’ seems like it should work.”
“Right,” I said, shaking my head. “But… Okay, you like me kind of humiliating you in public by making you act all girly, which… that’s kind of messed up, but let’s say I’m really trying to get you to go full mare, and maybe saying ‘no’ makes the whole overpowering thing feel better for you, I don’t know why, so instead of me stopping every time you say ‘no’ to ask if you really mean it, I can keep going unless you say the safeword.”
“Got it.” Scootaloo nodded. “So… safewords…”
I tried to think of what Doctor Hooves had told me after we’d finished some of my meditation exercises. “It should be something that makes you feel safe, I think. Something personal to you that wouldn’t come up normally during our games.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo said, nodding her head. “I choose Rainbow Dash.”
“That’ll definitely put a stop to anything,” I said, shaking my head. Kind of weird she went there, but I guess I could get it. “Now I need to figure out a safeword for myself.” Hmm, if I wanted to mirror hers, Rarity or Mom would work, but… no, that would be really weird. Like, not wanting to think of sex for at least a few days, weird. What else made me feel safe? Scootaloo? That would just be confusing.
“Wait, why do you need a safeword?” Scootaloo asked. “You’re not going to be feeling uncomfortable or anything, right?”
I ran my hoof down my mane. “No, but I just told you how I want to be able to talk about my feelings when I need to, so it might be good if I had a safeword to use when I need to stop being dommy and just be Sweetie, alright?”
“Yeah, alright,” Scootaloo said. “So… what, then?” Princess Luna? No. I didn’t like the idea of using a pony’s name. What else made me feel safe?
“Carousel Boutique,” I said. It was perfect, nothing made me feel safer than home, although… I guess it wasn’t home anymore.
“That’s two words,” Scootaloo said, grinning at me. Ooh, that wasn’t very subby of her. I matched her grin and pounced on her, pinning her to the floor. She squirmed but didn’t put up any real resistance as I kissed her down into her happy space.
“So’s Rainbow Dash,” I said, looking down at her and her big puppy-dog smile.
You used to be Bright Lights’ puppy, Oh, good, and I’d almost gone two whole minutes without having a voice in my head trying to make me feel awful about stuff. Celestia forbid that ever happen. I shook my head. This was different. Scootaloo wanted me to drive her crazy with kisses, and if she didn’t, she’d just say ‘Rainbow Dash’, and I’d stop.
“Alright,” Scootaloo said, smiling and pushing against me. “Can I get up now? I think your Mom wants you to get out of your room for a bit.”
“Sure,” I said, walking over her to the door and letting my tail swish across her face as I left. “And thanks for asking so nicely.”
“Uh-huh,” Scootaloo said, rolling up on her hooves. “So… out of curiosity, when we finally have our first time, what exactly do you have planned?”
I grinned and spun around, blocking her from reaching the door without going through me. “I’m glad you asked. So, first there’s a whole bunch of things up in my penthouse. Under the bed, there’s a kit, so I’d love it if you could pick that up for me. I don’t want to spoil too much, but there’s a really nice bolt of silk in there. Plus a bunch of other stuff, but that’s for later.” I needed some rope, too, but there was probably some somewhere in my apartment. Like, it still was my apartment.
“Okay,” Scootaloo said, frowning and taking a step back. “Silk? Are you going to make a dress for me?”
My smile threatened to crack my face in half as I whirled back to the door. “You’ll seeee,” I sing-songed. Hey, I sing-songed, that’s almost like singing.
“When you talk like that, I don’t know if I should be scared or not,” Scootaloo said, following along behind me.
I turned and rested my forehooves where her neck met her barrel. “Scootaloo, you have your safeword, there’s no reason for you to be scared.” I leaned in and purred in her ear. “Unless you want to be.”
She shivered as I pulled away and opened the door to the main room. “So, Mom, do you have any ideas on Scootaloo’s dresses?”
“We were talking earlier about something sporty. Perhaps something like what tennis players wear?” Mom said, looking up from a sketch book.
An image of Scootaloo walking around the house in one of those cute short tennis skirts flashed in my head. I struggled to keep my squeal in. She was never going to get to take it off. “Sounds great,” I said, nodding at Mom before trotting over to where Luna and Twilight were sitting. “So… have you learned anything yet?”
Twilight shook her head. “We’re still trying to understand just what the changes in you and Luna’s magic fields actually mean. It’s…” She shook her head. “I never imagined these types of alterations to a pony’s magic field were possible.”
“Great,” I said, shaking my head. Apparently, you’re impossible. “So… you don’t know anything, then?”
“Not yet,” Twilight said, smiling at me. “But we’ll figure something out. If we don’t, your mom will just kill me.”
“I wouldn’t kill you, Twilight dearest,” Mom said from her spot on the sofa next to Scootaloo. “Perhaps lock you in your room until you discovered a solution, but I certainly wouldn’t harm you.”
Twilight looked back at my mom. “Lock me in the bedroom or…”
“The study,” Mom said. “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure every noble petitioner who wills it will have an audience with you. I’d hate to remove you from your royal duties.”
“Yes, that would be terrible,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “You know, if you really wanted to punish me, you’d keep everypony out. Obviously, you’d still have to come in the study to check on me and work on your designs, but beyond that, nopony else.”
I smiled, listening to the two of them talk. They were just so… happy with each other. It was nice. I glanced at Scootaloo. Maybe we could be like that one day too. On the other hoof, I could have Scootaloo wearing a tennis outfit in the house. I rolled both options over in my head while they went back and forth.
A white corner stuck out of Twilight’s stack of images, and I grabbed it with my magic, pulling a newspaper out of the stack. “Ooh,” I said, flipping through the pages. “Anything about me in the papers today?”
“Sweetie, it’s been over a month since the story broke, I think Equestria’s moved on to some other salacious scandal,” Mom said, laughing her high forced laugh.
“You would certainly think that, but your exploits continue to grace the lifestyle section,” Luna said, frowning. “I really don’t understand what my ponies find so fascinating about the story, but today, there was yet another exposé in yet another paper.”
I pulled the lifestyle section out of the paper and laughed at the headline.
Sweetie Belle: The Queen of Kink
“I love it,” I said, putting the paper back down on the table. “Like, all the terrible attention and media scandal is almost worth it for that one headline. I want to get business cards just so I can put that on all of them.”
“Sweetie Belle, I really don’t see what you find so amusing about this. Your name’s being dragged through the mud,” Mom said, unconsciously clutching Twilight closer to her. “We are trying to salvage what scraps of reputation we can, not burn it all to ashes.”
“No, my name’s been dragged through the mud. Write Thinking and Bright Lights took care of that. This is…” I laughed. “This is just funny. And hey, it looks like I’m going to be getting a royal title after all. Or is that too close to Cadance’s title?”
“I…” Luna frowned. “No, I think… I don’t think we could actually give you a queenship for this. Considering your royal connections, we might be able to arrange a princesshood for you, though.” I caught the barest whisper of a smile hiding in her frown.
“Honestly, Luna,” Mom said, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t be encouraging this strange fascination of hers. ‘The Queen of Kink,’ it’s not suitable for a lady.”
“Come on, Rarity, we have our kinks too, or what do you call your shows?” Twilight said, turning around to face my mom and grinning. Teasing, but knowing Mom, the tease had gone just a step too far.
“I call them private,” Mom said, cheeks going red. Yep, I called it. “And there’s nothing against having kinks, that’s perfectly natural and healthy. My problem is with the idea of my daughter, a princess-in-waiting, going around introducing herself as the Queen–”
“Or princess,” Luna and I chirped in unison.
“Yes, or Princess of Kink,” Mom finished, rolling her eyes. “It’s simply not becoming of a lady.”
“Neither is this,” I said, grabbing the paper and looking for something interesting. “Summer 51, Bright Lights and two other mares suspended from the ceiling, supporting me as they– Hey! She’s using excerpts from my sex journal.”
“Sex journal?” Scootaloo asked, tilting her head.
“Yeah, it’s like a journal, but instead of talking about boring stuff, it talks about sex, either the stuff I did or the stuff I wanted to do. Like…” I flipped to the back page. “Shoot, they didn’t include my idea about a pudding orgy. It was going to combine all my favorite things, drugs and liquor and sex, obviously, plus sweets. Never got around to that, though.” I looked to Scootaloo. “I was going to have you look through it and see if anything jumped out at you, just to figure out what you might like.”
“O… kay,” Scootaloo said, staring at the paper. “Do you really need to keep doing that stuff though, can’t you just go back to how you were before all this craziness started?”
“You don’t complain when I’m kissing you. I’m guessing you won’t complain when we finally–” I stopped, realizing my mom was in the room. Maybe don’t start talking about how much I’m going to blow Scootaloo’s mind when we finally have sex. “You haven’t complained so far.”
“It’s just a little intimidating, alright?” Scootaloo said. I grinned and took a few steps towards her. “And I have a weird time fitting all that…” She gestured at the paper. “With the filly I met in Ponyville.”
“You want me to be like the filly you met in Ponyville?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “That doesn’t seem very–”
“Look, I admit it’s a little weird and doesn’t make much sense,” Scootaloo said, running a hoof through her mane and struggling to look at anypony in the room. “It’s just…” She shook her head. “It’s weird, and can we please not talk about this right now?” I took another step forward, still grinning. She caught the look in my eye and started talking again. “What would Rainbow Dash think if she heard me say this sissy stuff?”
My grin shifted into a sincere smile as I trotted over to comfort her. “You know, Scootaloo,” Mom said from her couch. “It’s perfectly fine for you to have a sentimental side. Deep down, Rainbow Dash might be as much a romantic as I am, she just doesn’t show it easily.”
“Really?” Scootaloo asked as I trotted over to the unused half of the sectional and waved for Scootaloo to sit next to me.
“Indeed,” Mom said, nodding her head. “Have Applejack tell you her engagement story the next time you’re in Ponyville. Even I couldn’t have envisioned something more storybook.”
“Well, I think you’ll have to since you’re planning the engagement,” Twilight said, putting one of the scans down.
“No, I’m not,” Mom said, smiling at Twilight. “I’m planning the entirety of the wedding ceremony. I believe you’re in charge of the proposal itself.”
“But the last time I tried to plan something really romantic, you almost got your soul stolen by your grandmother. I don’t think I have the best record with romantic gestures,” Twilight said.
Mom walked over and kissed Twilight at the base of the horn. “Twilight, dearest, we’ve discussed this, Whatever you come up with will be absolutely perfect. I trust you,”
“And what if I mess it up? You’re only going to get one proposal, and if I make a mistake… If I do something to ruin it–”
“Then we’ll have a funny story to tell our friends and family,” Mom said, putting a hoof over Twilight’s lips.
“So you’d be okay if I just proposed to you right here? With no thought put into it at all?” Twilight asked.
“Well, it wouldn’t exactly be how I imagined it, I’ll admit, but…” Mom shook her head. “I’d prefer it if there was some attempt at build-up and setting. Have you read any stories where somepony just proposed apropos of nothing?”
Twilight smiled. “No one would have a story like ours, then.” She got up and kissed my mom. “Think about it, there’s something kind of impulsive and spontaneous about this, and–”
“Wait – are you actually doing this now? In front of Luna and my daughter?”
“And Scootaloo,” I said, chipping in and hugging my marefriend tighter.
“Yes, and Scootaloo. Are you actually going to do this now?” Mom asked, tilting her head.
“Well, you said I should be more spontaneous,” Twilight said, nuzzling my Mom’s cheek.
“Do you have a ring and a speech?” Mom asked, wrapping a foreleg around Twilight’s neck.
“Of course,” Twilight said, pulling away from Mom’s grip and sprinting to their bedroom. “I’m not that impulsive. I had the ring and speech ready since before we left for Manehattan.”
“But Twilight, if that’s the case, then why did you think I’d be doing the– Did you plan this just to seem more impulsive?” Mom said as Twilight dashed into their bedroom.
“What? That’s crazy, Rarity. Bye!” Twilight said, slamming the door shut. Mom just stared at the shut door, tapping her forehoof.
“So…” I said, looking from Scootaloo to Mom. “Do you want the three of us to leave or…”
“No, stay,” Mom said. My horn tickled for a second as somepony moved a bunch of magic around. “If Twilight didn’t want you here for this, she would have waited.”
The door to the bedroom opened, and a gray mare with a pink bowtie trotted out, a big black case resting on her back. “Hi, Miss Octavia,” I said, waving at her.
She nodded at me. “A pleasure to see you again,” she said, putting the case down, balancing on her back legs, pulling the cello out of its case, and launching into a song.
“This is gonna be mushy, isn’t it?” Scootaloo asked, whispering into my ear before I elbowed her in the side. This was romantic. If she wanted to be mare-ish, she should love this stuff.
“Be good and enjoy this or I’ll make you be the big spoon when we cuddle tonight. Plus, I won’t kiss you like you like.” I pulled her tight against me and let her rest her head in the crook of my neck. A memory of Bright Lights doing the same thing to me popped up in my head, and I drew Scootaloo tighter. I was better than her. Scootaloo wanted this. If she didn’t, she could stop it.
“Rarity,” Twilight said, wearing a purple and blue dress with gems set on it to look like starbursts. “I’ve been thinking about this since… Well, since our first dinner at Gustaf’s, you remember that, right?”
Mom nodded, looking at Octavia. “That song…”
“It’s the first song we danced to,” Twilight said, nodding.
Mom laughed. “You call that dancing, Twilight. I call it the awkward stumblings of a foal at her first ball.”
“Hey, I’ve gotten a lot better, thanks to you, but will you let me finish my speech?”
“Of course, Twilight, dearest,” Mom said, gesturing for her to continue
“Right, so I’ve been thinking about this since our very first dinner at Gustaf’s. I think that night was the first time I really imagined what our life together might be like. That’s when I came up with the first draft of this speech. I wanted to talk about all the ways you were great, all the reasons I thought I loved you. Your mind, your wit, your grace, how you were so incredibly creative in ways I couldn’t even begin to understand, and all those things are great, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not what brought me here tonight. What I love best about you is just how infinitely complicated you are.”
Mom raised an eyebrow.
“I mean that in the best way,” Twilight added. “The more I learn about you, the more I see, the more I see there is to learn. You’re a puzzle that refuses simple solution, that reveals more of itself the longer I work at it, you’re an eternally expanding equation, but wrapped up in the core of it is this love and beauty that touches everything you do, and it drives me to keep studying and learning. I thought I knew you, and I loved you. That night, I hadn’t even scratched the surface.” She floated two gold horn rings out from Octavia’s case, one had an amethyst starburst on it and another, a purple diamond. “I could spend my entire life working to understand you. To unravel your mysteries, and… I can’t think of any better way to spend it. Rarity, will you marry me?”
Instead of saying anything, Mom just wrapped Twilight in her best crushing death grip and pressed her lips against her partner’s. The magic grasping the rings flickered as Twilight’s attention was suddenly pulled elsewhere, and Luna, Scootaloo, and I just kind of watched the scene unfold. Scootaloo and Luna looked uncomfortable. I wanted some popcorn. Or chocolate. Chocolate was more romantic.
“Oh, this is so sweet,” I whispered into Scootaloo’s ear, stroking her flank. “How can you not love this big romantic stuff?”
“It’s not bad,” Scootaloo said, whispering back. “It’s… Yeah, it’s kind of sweet.”
I nibbled the tip of her ear and her posture melted. “I’m going to make you love this sweet stuff.”
“Yeah, I bet you will,” she said. In front of us, the kiss finally ended.
Mom just smiled at Twilight. “Of course, I’ll marry you Twilight, nothing would make me happier, and… well done. You did a very good job pretending to be spontaneous.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked, putting the amethyst-studded ring on Rarity’s horn. “This was completely spontaneous. I… sure, I talked with Octavia about it when we first got to Manehattan and placed a long-term retrieval spell on her and gave her a crystal that would light up when I needed her, but… I kind of just went with the moment. Oh! Speaking of which…” She pulled a crystal out of her room and sent a charge through it. “Just taking care of dinner.” Mom nuzzled Twilight and grabbed the diamond ring with her own magic, sliding it onto her now-fiancée’s horn. So sweet, if I ever got married, I wanted an engagement like that. It was so heartfelt and loving and… just everything a romance was supposed to be.
“Well done, Twilight,” Mom said, sliding her right foreleg behind Twilight’s neck and grabbing Twilight’s right forehoof with her left. “Now, if I’m not mistaken, it’s been too long since we last danced to this song. Do you think we can do better than last time?”
Twilight laughed. “If we can’t, then I had a terrible teacher.”
“Haha, very funny, Twilight,” Mom said as they started their dance. It was a rigid formal one like you’d find at the Grand Galloping Gala.
“Hey, Scootaloo,” I said, hopping off the couch. “Do you want to dance?”
“Do we have to dance like them?” she asked, pointing at my Mom and Twilight.
I shook my head and balanced on my back legs. “Nope, we’re going to be dancing Manehattan style. Or Manehattan nightclub style. Or at least, what she told me was Manehattan nightclub style.”
“Uh-huh,” Scootaloo said while I flowed around her, pulsing to the music. It was… a lot harder when the music was classic music played on a cello instead of the dance music Bright Lights would bring up to my parties, but I managed. It was just slower.
“It’s super easy,” I said, trying to get her up on her back hooves. “You just have to feel the music and move with it.
“You look like a noodle pony moving in slow motion,” Scootaloo said, raising an eyebrow.
“If it was faster, I’d be moving faster,” I said dancing around her. “Now come on and dance with me.”
“This is going to look ridiculous,” she said, throwing herself up on her back hooves and trying to mirror my movements. “Like, if you want some good moves, I can show you some good moves.”
“Shush,” I said, pushing against her while working to keep on my back hooves, pressing my heat against hers. “Just enjoy the–”
Scootaloo nipped at my ears. “Rainbow Dash!” she hissed. I immediately dropped down to four hooves.
“What? We were just dancing.” I looked around, Mom and Twilight were too busy dancing with each other to notice us, but Luna and Octavia were… staring. You’ve done something wrong. Again.
“When did you dance like that?” Scootaloo whispered.
“Uhmm… whenever Bright Lights brought music to one of my parties,” I said, frowning. What had I done wrong this time?
“And how did those parties usually end?” she asked, keeping her eyes locked on me.
“With an–” Oh. My head dropped. Maybe grinding and pressing myself up against my marefriend wasn’t the best dance considering my mom was doing some fancy formal dancing with her fiancée. I glanced at the two of them. At least they hadn’t noticed. Right now, they only saw each other.
“I didn’t even realize,” I said.
“Yeah, I figured,” Scootaloo said. “Anyways, if you want to dance like that, we can do it later. Alone.”
“Oh, we definitely are,” I said, grinning. “What do you think about later tonight? I can see if any of those boxes contained some EDM and we can just go crazy.”
She rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t last ten minutes dancing with me.” Ooh, she was being all assertive and stuff, I knew the cure for that. Just imagining her walking around the house in her future dress with her hindquarters framed perfectly... I smiled at the image.
“I can’t wait until we have your dresses,” I said nuzzling her cheek as Octavia’s cello playing hid our conversation. “I’m going to make you feel like such a filly.” I pulled away and sat down, watching my mom and Twilight’s dance progress around the living room, and I wasn’t sure which one of them was leading. “I want something like that,” I said, whispering into Scootaloo’s ear. And she’ll never give it to you. My ear twitched.
“Congratulations!” Luna said, when the song had finished. “I couldn’t be happier for you two.”
“Oh, yes,” Mom said, looking around the room like she’d just woken up from a dream. “Of course, you’re all… I hope you can excuse my rudeness, but I believe I got swept away in the moment.”
“It’s fine,” I said, trotting over to give my Mom a hug. “Seeing the two of you dance was really… Thank you for letting me watch that. It was super sweet.”
Mom smiled. “Yes, well…” She looked around the room. “So I didn’t embarrass myself?”
Four ponies shook their heads. “You didn’t,” Scootaloo said, grinning. Would it be better to punish her by driving her deep into her subby depths or not punishing her at all. Drive her crazy with reminders of all the things I could be doing to her and then not doing them? Ooh, that sounded fun. Then, when she finally cracked and apologized and begged, I’d… Well, she’d see what I’d do.
“Did I?” Twilight asked, tilting her head. “I thought my dancing had gotten better, but…”
“You were fine, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said. “No mare would dare critique you on the day of your engagement. Sweetie Belle just convinced Scootaloo to engage in some foalishness while the two of you were dancing.” She looked over at me. “It was most entertaining.”
“It wasn’t–” I paused. “I didn’t realize anything was bad about it until Scootaloo pointed it out.”
“What did you do?” Mom asked as all eyes turned to me. Definitely punish Scootaloo later. Like, so bad. Drive her crazy with want and denial, then drive her crazy in a different way. Two different types of crazy, and she still won’t be a fraction as mad as you. Great, thanks, voice in my head. I needed a put-me-down.
“Nothing, I… just wanted to do some dancing. I kind of forgot the only dancing I’d done off the stage during the last three years was… less than family friendly,” I said, trying to laugh.
“We believe that in today’s youthful parlance, she did ‘grind,’” Luna said, grinning at me.
“I’ve seen more understated displays at Vinyl’s shows,” Octavia said, her expression neutral. “And that’s including the show Vinyl described as an exploration of erotic lust through the lens of electronic dance music.” There was a pause where we all looked at her. “Well, she didn’t use those words exactly, but you see the general point.”
“Ugh, I didn’t mean to,” I said, giving a groan. “I just wanted to join in the dancing and forgot that some of my dancing might be… inappropriate.”
“Relax, Sweetie Belle, we’re just teasing,” Luna said. “No one here bears you any actual malice.”
“Indeed,” Octavia said, nodding her head. “And if we did, your sister would kill us.”
“Uhmm… Mom, actually,” I said, looking from Octavia to Mom. “She’s my mom, and she’s the best mom in the world, so don’t say anything bad about it.”
Octavia smiled and moved to pack her cello up. “Why would I say anything bad? She raised a very fine mare, able to bounce back to her hooves after the toughest of blows. And speaking of motherhood, I really should be getting back to Vinyl before Racket drives her crazy. I swear, she, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie must share a… Well, I suppose she does have the common ancestor with Pinkie.” She laughed and shook her head. “But you all should come by Monticello soon; we’ll be heading back to Ponyville in a few more weeks, and I’d love to see you before we left.” Who was Racket?
“Of course,” Mom said, nodding her head. “I’d be delighted to, and I’m sure Sweetie would love the opportunity to spend a few hours out of the suite.” Wait, Octavia just mentioned something about motherhood before talking about Racket...
“You have a foal?” I asked, jumping up in front of Octavia. “When did you get a foal? You didn’t have a foal when I left, did you?”
“Very astute of you to remember that, Sweetie,” Octavia said, raising an eyebrow. “And yes, I just recently had a filly, and she’s simply wonderful for those few hours a day she’s sleeping. At least she’s helping me burn off the few remaining pregnancy pounds.”
“She sounds fun,” I said, smiling. “Oh! And I’d definitely love to come and spend a day with you at Something-cello sometime. “Like Mom said, I’d really like to get out of here for a few hours and see the city.”
“Do you want me to walk back to Monticello with you?” Mom asked while Octavia finished adjusting the straps to her cello case.
Octavia shook her head and trotted to the door. “Thank you for offering, Rarity, but I’m fine. It’s not as if my house is far off.”
“Thank you so much for helping me, Tavi,” Twilight said, floating a bag of bits over to the musician. “For your trouble.”
“There’s really no need, Twilight,” Octavia said. “It was just a favor for a friend.”
“Come on,” Twilight said, waving the bag of bits in Octavia’s face. “Think of it as a tax refund.”
Octavia laughed and grabbed the bag with her teeth. “‘ery ‘ell, Twilight,” she said, still gripping the bag. “P’easure to see you ‘ell, Sweetie.” With that, she turned the door and trotted out, leaving the five of us alone.
“So,” Luna said. “How shall we celebrate? Is not toasting customary for the occasion? Do you have any champagne?”
“We have some bottles of wine coming in a few minutes,” Twilight said. “It wouldn’t be right if I proposed to Rarity and didn’t bring in Gustaf. He’s been there for basically every other major milestone in our relationship.”
Mom nodded. “And I was planning on making him the caterer for our wedding, so… Well, one of the caterers; obviously, I’d leave all the sweets-making to Pinkie.” She laughed. “I’m going to have multiple caterers for my wedding. At a castle.”
“Wonderful,” Luna said, moving from the table to the center of the living room. “Then I propose we drink and celebrate the coming union between princesses Twilight Sparkle and Rarity Bell.” And I could have grape juice. Better that than going back to… Yeah, grape juice was better right now.
“Hey, Mom, why did you give me your last name if you hate it so much?” I asked, trying not to think about the bottles of wine, or how good they’d have to be for my mom to like them. Definitely wasn’t thinking about what it might taste like.
“Oh, well, I didn’t,” Mom said. “My last name is ‘Bell’ with only one E. Your last name is Belle with two Es. It’s a very important distinction.”
“Really?” I asked, tilting my head while Twilight trotted into her bedroom. “Feels kind of the same to me.”
“Absolutely not,” Mom said, shaking her head and sitting next to the table, one hoof rubbing her horn ring. “A bell is… well, a bell. It’s big and dull and chimes on the hour or when you ring it. A belle is the center of social attention. A debutante society revolves around her. A belle is the height of sophistication. Perhaps I was projecting a little when I named you, but it’s certainly better than a bell without an E.”
“So what was her name dream?” Twilight asked, coming out of the bedroom with a crystal floating in her grip. She saw me looking at it. “When Gustaf has the basket prepared, the crystal will light up and I’ll recall it.” I nodded and Twilight rubbed her horn.
“I’d… prefer not to mention it, actually,” Mom said, glancing at the door. “It’s not actually that important.”
“Come on, tell me,” I said, taking a step towards her. “I wanna know how I got my name. Was there a party? A big sea of ponies swarming around a singer, making her the center of the room? Did you see me? Was I beautiful?”
Mom took another step back. “It’s really not that interesting.”
“Luna?” I asked, looking at the princess of dreams.
She shook her head. “First, I was banished at the time, and second, I don’t see name dreams. They’re an intensely personal experience that only a mother may experience as she communes with something deep and primal at the heart of creation.”
“Was it bad?” I asked, taking another step towards my Mom as she backed into the wall. “Come on, just tell me, what was I in your dream.”
Mom shook her head. “You were… a bell. A beautiful bell that played the sweetest music, but still a bell. That’s just with the one E.”
“Why did you add the extra E?” Twilight asked, turning to look at my mom.
“Because Bell is a terrible name. Can you imagine the teasing? When I walked down the hall little fillies would go ‘ding-dong’ or make whatever noises they thought a bell made. Imagine me, trying to be a proper punctual mare showing up precisely on time to be greeted by a chorus of classmates going ‘BONG! BONG!’ It quickly loses its novelty.”
“Nopony made fun of me growing up,” I said, frowning. “And I don’t think they knew the difference between ‘bell’ and ‘belle.’” Of course, up until Scootaloo, nopony really noticed you, and after that Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon found other things to make fun of you for.
I shook my head. I hated it when the voice in my brain was right about stuff. Mom sighed. “You’re right, it was silly of me, but back then, I was so proud and arrogant, I… didn’t want to raise you back then, but I still didn’t want the thing I made to be mocked.” She trotted over and flopped down on the couch. “Oh, I was so awful back–”
“Hey, it’s fine,” I said, sitting next to her. “Remember, we both promised?”
She nodded. “Thank you for reminding me, Sweetie.”
“Now,” I gestured a hoof at the three other mares in the room. “I think we’re supposed to be celebrating the fact that you and Twilight are getting married, not… regretting. I think we’ve both done enough regretting.” But I’d be back to it as soon as I had some time alone with my thoughts. Then don’t spend time alone. I looked at Scootaloo, I could probably do that.
Twilight’s crystal thingy lit up, and she ignited her horn. A second later, a picnic basket popped into existence, floating in her magic. “And that would be dinner,” she said, lifting it up. “I have four plates… Sorry, Luna, I didn’t think you’d be here, and three bottles of wine.”
“I’ll just have some cranberry juice,” I said, doing my best to smile and not look at the basket.
“Oh, Sweetie, I’m…” Twilight trailed off. “If you don’t want us to drink–”
“It’s fine,” I said, shaking my head. “You all should enjoy yourself, and I’ll have fun being the only sober mare in the room for once.” I laughed, and to my surprise, I meant it. “So.” I pushed myself off the couch and trotted to the basket. “What did you get?”
“Portobello steak for me, scallion salad for Rarity, garden casserole for Scootaloo, and a fontina polenta with mushroom sautée for you.”
I raised an eyebrow at her as she pulled my dish out from the top of the basket. “I understand… one of those words.”
“Fontina is a type of cheese, a polenta is cornmeal boiled into a thick porridge, and to sautée just means to fry quickly,” Twilight said while I took the top off my dish and inhaled. I could definitely pick out the mushrooms in the smell, and… maybe something kind of cheesy in it? I looked down at the brown and yellow… thing. It would be rude of me not to eat it, wouldn’t it? “So… why did everypony else get something I kind of recognize while I got… to try the new dish?”
“Uhmm… I thought you’d like it,” Twilight said, setting the three other dishes on the table.
“Twilight, you think everypony likes mushrooms,” Mom said, passing me as I went into the kitchen, a collection of silverware in her grip.
“Because they’re good,” Twilight said, sighing. “They have this savoriness to them, and they’re just so…”
“I like mushrooms in theory,” Luna said, looking at all the dishes on the table. “They grow perfectly fine in the dark, and can come to fruit without ever seeing a ray of sun. In practice, however, I find them rather…” She made a gagging noise. “I’d much rather have a nice crisp apple, feeling that dribble of juice running down my muzzle as I sink my teeth into its flesh. Or grapes. Grapes are also wonderful. The juicier the food, the better.”
“We’d be more than happy to get you a fruit salad,” Mom said while I floated my bottle out of the fridge. “I think we have a few apples around here, or–”
“I’ll get it,” Scootaloo said, trotting to the door. “There’s a place just down the street, and I can be there and back in no time.”
“That would be lovely, thank you, Scootaloo,” Luna said, giving my marefriend a nod of her head. On the one hoof, Scootaloo was being daring and assertive and very unsubby; on the other hoof, I couldn’t expect her to be in her subspace all the time, could I? Bright Lights expected it from you. Yeah, and she was such a good role model. On the third hoof, she was saving the dinner. I nodded. I was already going to punish her tonight, so… I didn’t need an answer now.
“Don’t go too fast,” I shouted as she went out the door. I trotted to my place at the table and sat down my glass of juice.
“You know, Sweetie,” Mom said, eyeing my glass of juice while she magically unwrapped the bottle’s foil, “if you don’t want us to drink, just say the word, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“It’s fine,” I said, sitting down myself and looking at my ‘meal.’ “Like, I’d feel completely terrible if I ruined your night.” She’d need more than that to feel better. “And, I really don’t want to drink anymore. If drinking leads back to the penthouse, I’d rather stay sober. I’m kind of okay with where I’m at right now.” Except for the hallucinations and the slowly losing touch with reality thing. Speaking of which, I released the spell Luna’d taught me the night before to find any trace of Dreaming. Luna raised an eyebrow when the dream magic bounced off her, but the rest of my family didn’t notice. The magic came back and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Still in the real world. Or you could be so deep in the dream that– I shook my head. “Sorry, where was I?” I asked, looking up at my mom.
“You were talking about how you felt fine,” she said, looking at me and floating the foil to the trash bin.
“Right,” I said, smiling at her. “Well, I don’t want to mess things up by having a drink. I don’t want to drink any more than you want to design galoshes.”
“Very well,” she said, pulling the cork out and pouring a glass. I couldn’t help but stare at how the wine flowed and swirled in the glass as she poured more and more and… She stopped. “If at any point you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable, let me know, alright? I’d rather throw away thousand-bit wine than…”
“Jeopardize my recovery?” I asked, filling in the blank for her and grinning. “Also, really, a thousand bits for a bottle of wine? That seems pretty pricey just to get drunk.”
Mom shook her head and sighed. “We aren’t drinking to get drunk, Sweetie. We’re having a few glasses of wine to heighten what would already be a wonderful evening.” And that’s why they can drink without going on a crazy self-destructive spiral. Because they don’t drink to drink. They don’t wake up in the middle of the night needing another belt of rum just so they can go back to the bed. Yeah, or that too.
“You’ll get there one day,” Mom said, sitting next to me. I frowned. I hadn’t been talking out loud, had I? “Once you’re better, once you’ve dealt with all the things you need to deal with, I’m sure you and Scootaloo can spend an evening sipping wine together now and then.”
“I don’t think Scootaloo’s a big wine drinker,” I said, looking up at her as Mom snapped back to where she’d been standing ten seconds ago as I snapped back to reality. Wouldn’t be dinner if I didn’t go at least a little crazy.
“What was that, Sweetie?” she asked, tilting her head.
“Nothing,” I said smiling at her and trying to think of a cover for my stupidity. “Just… I don’t know if Scootaloo will like her drink.”
“I’m sure she will,” Mom said, pouring a glass for Twilight. “And if she doesn’t, she can fix something else.” I took a sip of my cranberry juice and glanced at Mom’s glass. Twilight had darted off into the kitchen for something, Luna was reading the label off another bottle of… I glanced at the third bottle’s label. Nectar des Étoiles. It sounded Prench. I inhaled, catching the faintest scent of alcohol. Yeah, I wasn’t much of a wine drinker, but if I was going to drink wine, this was probably the wine to drink.
I licked my lips. Scootaloo would probably like it. Maybe I could ask her about it later. I glanced at the unattended glass. Or maybe I could just down a glass before anypony noticed. I tensed my muscles and drew magic to my horn. I could do it in half a second, pounce on the table, grab the glass with my magic, and get it to my lips as quick as possible. Then just one long pull, and–
I stopped. My muscles relaxed, and the magic vanished. And then I’d be a liar. I’d throw the trust Mom gave me right back in her face. I exhaled and took a sip of cranberry juice. Come on, Sweetie, she’s used to being disappointed by now. She had you for a daughter.
“So,” Luna said, putting the bottle down. “When do you think Scootaloo will return with my dinner?”
“Probably right now,” I said, looking towards the door. “That’s how it would work in Ponyville, but… Wait, I called attention to it, so now it would be funnier if she didn’t show up, just so I look dumb.” Which you are.
“What are you talking about, Sweetie?” Luna asked, staring at me while Twilight came back into the room. What was I talking about? It kind of made sense at the time, but then when I stopped and thought about it…
“I think Octavia’s mentioned it to me a few times,” Mom said, glancing at her glass. Why wasn’t she drinking it? “It’s… hard to explain – harder still because she only talks about it after we’ve both had a few drinks – but essentially, she seems to think that, on some level, the events in her life occur because they’d make for a better story.”
“Narrative causality,” Twilight said, nodding her head. “The theory that things happen in a story because that’s what makes for the best story. I’m not going to argue with it in stories where it’s baked into the world’s assumptions, but to think real life operates on story logic? That’s crazy.”
I was caught on the edge of the death glare Mom gave Twilight, but I still wanted to run screaming and hide under my bed. Twilight just gulped. “Twilight, dearest,” Mom said, drawing out each word. “Don’t you want to rethink your word choice?”
“Sorry,” Twilight said, flinching away from my mom and looking at me. “I wasn’t thinking. Obviously, I don’t think you’re crazy just because–”
I held up a hoof. “It’s fine, I’m not even sure what I meant when I said that. Like, it felt right at the time, like there was this big bolt of lightning, but then…” I shrugged and looked at my juice. “It doesn’t matter, right?”
“You got to experience a few seconds of normalcy, and then you ruined it,” Bright Lights said, sitting next to me. “How tragically and utterly predictable.”
“Hey, Luna,” I said, looking at the other princess in the room. “Can you see anything weird right now?”
“Yes,” she said, nodding her head and putting the wine bottle down. “This wine supposedly contains 40% alcohol. How that’s possible defies explanation.” Forty percent? I could get really drunk off that. Just a bottle or so and I’d be having a good time.
Scootaloo came through the door, bag clenched in her teeth. “Hey,” she said, dropping the bag onto the table. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head and not looking at any of the bottles on the table. I took another sip of juice. “We were just talking and I was being crazy.” Mom cleared her throat. “Not usual crazy though, more like… a little fun crazy. Weird crazy.”
“So like that time you started talking about some weird psychology stuff?” Scootaloo asked, sitting down next to me while Luna floated her salad out of the bag. “Back when you were coming down off your Nightmare Night sugar high?”
“Yeah,” I said, slowly nodding my head. Maybe I wouldn’t be that mean to her later tonight. Or maybe I’d be meaner in a way she liked.
“Ugh, your sweets fixation,” Mom said, taking the lid off her own dish. “In hindsight, there were so many little indicators.”
“Lots of ponies like sweets,” Twilight said. “Just look at Pinkie, she eats more sugar in a day than I’ll eat in a lifetime, but she’s norm– she’s f– she’s–”
“Hey!” I yelled, cutting her off before she could finish digging her hole. “We’re not talking about me tonight, right?” I grabbed my half-full glass and raised it into the air. “To my mom and Twilight, the happiest couple I know, and to you getting married. I can’t wait for the big day. You both deserve it.”
“Hear, hear,” Luna said as we all clinked our glasses together and took a drink. “Let us not forget the reason for tonight’s festivities. To Twilight and Rarity, may their union be unending.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Scootaloo said, having to balance on her back legs to clink her glass, while we all just used our magic. I smiled at the four other ponies in the room as I took a sip of my cranberry juice. I glanced at the dish Twilight had gotten for me. The something something mushroom sauté. Maybe it wasn’t that bad.
♪♪♪
Actually, it wasn’t. In fact, it was good. Really good. Like, there were so many flavors and they all kind of played off each other without any one of them being overpowering. Gestalt cooking. Right, it was different than… It wasn’t just overpowering sweetness, it was a bunch of stuff, and… maybe I liked that more than just straight sugar.
“Oh my,” Mom said, smiling at me from the couch. “It looks like somepony’s finally developing a mature palate.” I raised an eyebrow and launched a pulse of magic from my horn. Hallucination. A second later, it was gone, willed away to the same place all the other hallucinations went. Back inside you.
“...And so then she forces me to make her this dress that could do double duty as a star chart,” Mom said. “Luna, you should have seen this thing, it was… Well, you’ve seen my nightmares, correct?”
“Indeed,” she said, taking another sip of wine. The four of them were almost done with the second bottle. “You mean those… things were inspired by real dresses?”
“Oh yes,” Mom said, laughing. “Very much so…” I glanced at Scootaloo who was laying on her back, looking about as bored as I felt. She’d barely finished her glass of wine and then insisted on sticking to water.. Meanwhile, Mom and Twilight were sitting together on the couch, cuddling up with each other and laughing at every little thing, and Luna’d rounded things off by putting the empty first bottle on her horn. Lightweights. I drained my cranberry juice and set it down on the coffee table..
“Hey, Scootaloo,” I said, pushing off my floor pillow and heading to the door. “Take me for a walk?”
“Are you sure?” she asked, rolling on to her hooves and looking out at the Manehattan skyline. “It’s late, and I don’t want–”
“We’ll be walking down Bridleway, we aren’t going to be running through bad neighborhoods tossing bits around, okay? Come on,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Alright,” she said, trotting over to the door. “Hey, Rarity, is it okay if I take your daughter for a walk?
“Well,” Mom said, frowning and tapping a hoof into the couch cushion. “I’d prefer it if we didn’t risk her going outside again after–” Oh no, she wasn’t about to play the ‘jeopardize my recovery’ card on me. Luckily, I was sober and she was sitting somewhere between tipsy and drunk.
“Have Twilight cast her recall spell on me. If something goes wrong, Scootaloo can run back here, Twilight will cast the spell, and poof, everything will be fine. I just need to get out of the house for a while, alright? Y’know, just to get some fresh air and stuff?”
“Alright,” she said, giving Twilight a little push with one hoof. Twilight lifted her head up by some barely measurable difference, and as she ignited her horn, I felt magic tickle my whole body. “Scootaloo, Sweetie, I’m trusting the two of you…” She paused and looked at the hoof she was gesturing with, her thought escaping. “Twilight?”
“Uh-huh?” Twilight asked, lifting her head up for a second.
“Do you have any more of those little crystals? Like you gave Gustaf?” Mom asked.
“I do, why?”
“Because I thought that perhaps we could give Scootaloo one of them. That way, if something goes wrong, she can activate it and we’ll know to recall Sweetie.” Great, they were talking about me like I was a package or something to be shuttled around. I could do things myself. Can you?
Yes, I can, shut up voice in my head. “Alright,” Twilight said, getting up to her hooves and taking a few uneasy steps before heading to their bedroom. I watched her go, eyes tracking her movement before realizing I might have been checking out my mom’s fiancée. I ripped my eyes away from her and looked to Scootaloo, studied every last bit of lean muscleyness and imagined her in a dress. Better. Definitely better than Twilight’s old pudgy librarian look. Not that she had it anymore, now she was all svelte and stuff. Dumb alicorns.
I shook my head and waited.
“Got it,” Twilight said, trotting out of her bedroom with two crystals gripped in her magic. She tossed one underhoof to me and Scootaloo. The moment it left her magical grip, I got it with mine. “So… Sweetie, if you get in trouble, just put some magic in the crystal. If you can’t do that, break the crystal and it will tell its mate.” She waved the other crystal around in front of us. “The minute I see the crystal’s changed, I’ll teleport you back, Sweetie. Scootaloo, can you get back on your own?”
She laughed and gave her best cocky grin. She’d been studying under Rainbow Dash. “I’m a courier. If I can’t find my way back to the ritziest hotel in Manehattan, I officially suck at my job.”
“So,” I said, looking at Mom and Twilight. “Can we go?”
“Very well,” Mom said, heading to the door while Scootaloo darted off to grab her saddlebags to put the crystal in. “Just wear a coat, there’s still a bit of a nip in the air late at night.”
“Fine,” I said, rolling my eyes and heading to pull my nice purple-grey coat out of the coat closet. One of the few things I had from the penthouse. I smiled. That would change tonight. “But you’re not telling Scootaloo to get a coat.”
“First, Scootaloo isn’t my daughter, so I don’t have the right to ‘mom’ her. Second, she’s a pegasus, they have a tolerance for the cold that you don’t,” Mom said.
“Alright,” I said, slipping into my coat and touching my mane. “Does my hair look okay?”
Mom shrugged. “It looks fine to me, Sweetie, but if you want to give it a brush before you leave–”
“Sounds great,” I said, spinning away from her as quick as I could to hide my grin as Scootaloo came back into the room. “One minute,” I said, kissing Scootaloo on the cheek as we passed. “I’ve got to do my mane.”
“Really?” she asked, turning to look back at me as she trotted to the door. “Your mane looks fine.”
I laughed, hanging on the boundary between living room and hallway. “I am my mother’s daughter. Hey, you should be happy I don’t try to fuss over your mane.” I nodded my head, studying the short crop of her mane cut. “Although, if you grew it out a little, I bet we could do some really fun stuff with it.” I let out a squeal, almost forgetting my plan. “Ooh, you’d look so pretty and feminine and–”
“Pass,” Scootaloo said.
“But–”
“Pass.”
I glared at her as I slunk out of the room. Definitely going to tie her down when I got the chance and tell her all the things I wasn’t going to do to her. And maybe style her mane a little to boot. Ooh, but I needed to make sure I had rope first. I know I didn’t have any in my kit, but… under the bed. There should be enough under my bed. I let out a breath as I closed the door to the hallway and leaned against the wall. “Okay, Mom and Twilight have my key somewhere. Probably in their room, but…” I could get there by cutting through the recreation room. I nodded and started walking.
But where would they keep it? Well, first, it probably wouldn’t be they; more like ’where would Mom keep the key to my apartment? Hopefully not in a safe, but why would she? It wasn’t like the key was really bad. She never said she was keeping it from me, she… actually, I never asked her if I could have the key. That might have been easier.
“Hey, Mom,” I’d say. “Can I have the key to my apartment?”
“Perhaps,” she’d say, tilting her head and probing me with her eyes. “What do you need it for?”
“Well, I’d like to pick up some of my stuff and also tie my marefriend to my four-post bed and sexually tease her until she goes crazy with desire. Unless she says her safeword. Which is ‘Rainbow Dash’. Which is kind of weird, right?”
Yeah, no, I’d pass on that conversation. I cracked the door to their room open and trotted lightly on their carpet. Okay, she’s your mom, if anypony knows what she thinks like, it’s you, so… where would you hide the key to your room? I trotted to the dresser on her side of the room, the one that didn’t look like a library had exploded all over, and slid the top drawer open. There was a bunch of stuff. A few books – I guess she didn’t want her own book collection getting mixed with Twilight’s – some newspaper clippings about me, jewelry, and… I smiled as I floated the silver key with the big end cut to resemble my cutie mark out and snuck it into my coat pocket.
“Alright,” I said after I’d walked all the way around the suite to get back to the living room. “I’m ready to go.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “It took you long enough, and it doesn’t even look like you did anything to your mane.”
I smiled and leaned in close to kiss her cheek. “You’re so sweet,” I said, heading to the door. “And I totally had to restyle my mane. Whole hairs were out of place.”
“Uh-huh,” she said. I stopped at the door and waited for Twilight and Mom to catch up with me so they could cast some spell on the door. A minute later, it unlocked. “I didn’t notice anything.”
“That’s because you’re not in touch with your feminine side,” I said, pressing the elevator button and waiting. The door clicked closed behind us. I grinned. “But I’ll change that tonight.”
“What the heck does that mean?” Scootaloo asked before I quenched her curiosity with a kiss.
“It’s a surprise,” I said, humming to myself as the elevator door opened and we trotted in. “Now, I want you to be good while we walk, so here.” I gave her another one of my kisses to tide her over until we got to my apartment. Way to manipulate your marefriend. I shook my head. I wasn’t manipulating her. She wanted this. I nodded as our elevator descended, taking us lower and lower. She was going to love my surprise.