The Royal Canterlot Family

by CartoonNerd12


The Jokester

"What about you and Daddy, Mommy?" Cotton asked Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie had a grin on, "Oh, I tell you, your daddy and I had the most unusual meeting."

"How so?" her daughter questioned.

"Well… it all started when a joke shop opened in town…"

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Princess Pinkameana Diane Pie was curious about the new joke shop that had opened in Canterlot. She thought it might be useful for the parties she threw at the castle for most of her subjects to enjoy and to deliver goodies for unfortunate families that needed cheering up, especially young fillies and colts who have to spend their childhood in orphanages and hospitals. She found the shop and was ready to go in.

Cheese Sandwich was humming away at the front counter with Boneless on his back as he prepared himself for the number of customers he would receive on his first day of opening. Just then, the bell rang and in stepped a pony. Cheese got excited as he was about to greet the pony, but once he got a good look at her, he gasped and immediately ducked underneath the counter. He then started biting his hooves nervously.

He could hear the mare's voice, "Hello? Any pony here?!" There was a pause and then she exclaimed, "Wow! There's a lot of great stuff here!"

Cheese looked over to Boneless and whispered in terror, "What do I do?!" Boneless said nothing. "Talk to her? Are you nuts?! Do you have any idea who that is out there?!" Boneless stood motionless. "That's Princess Pinkie Pie! I first saw her a long time ago. When I was a young colt traveling around Equestria, I came here at one point, then…" His eyes went starry-eyed.

"I saw her… she was throwing a party in the middle of the town square and that's where I got you. I was so entranced with how well she made ponies happy that I felt I could do the same…" He pointed to his cutie mark, "That's when I got this baby, and I went on planning mega parties until I decided to set up shop here… Now, after all these years… I see her again, but I don't have the guts to face her…" There was another pause with Boneless. "Chicken?! I'm not the chicken! You're the chicken!" Pause. "Oh, that's how you want to play it? Fine!" He shook the rubber chicken, causing him to squeak.

Pinkie heard the noise and turned toward the counter. She looked behind it and saw a stallion rough-housing with a rubber chicken. When his eyes met hers, he stopped and ended up staring at her. She said, "Um, hello?"

The stallion quickly flashed a wide grin on and bounced up to face her, "Well, a zippa-di-do-da to you! Welcome to Cheese Sandwich's Joke Shop Emporium! We got squirting flowers, joy buzzers, lemon meringue cream pies! Everything! So, anything you like…?"

"Wow-wee! There's just so many good choices here! I can't decide!"

Cheese put on funny glasses with a mustache and a noisemaker in his mouth, "How about this?" He blew the noisemaker, causing her to be tickled.

She giggled, "That'll be perfect for the Filly and Colt Orphanage fundraiser my sisters and I are hosting this weekend!"

He decided to play it cool by asking, "And your sisters would be…"

"The princesses! And I'm one of them!"

"Golly! So you're…"

"Princess Pinkie Pie!"

"Wow! I've heard about you! It must be pretty tiring for a princess like you to set up parties."

Pinkie furrowed her brow, "Huh?" She thought over what he said, "Are you saying you're a better party planner than me?!"

"Uh…" he quickly looked down at Boneless before he faced her with a smug look, "Yes! Yes, I am in fact!"

She shrieked, "WHAT?!" She glared at him, "Let's get one thing straight, Sandwich: no pony's a better party planner than me!"

He challenged her, "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah! And I certainly don't need any of this stuff to prove it!" With a huff, she went to the door and slammed it behind her with the bell still jingling.

Cheese smacked his forehead, realizing he insulted his crush. He banged his head to the counter, "Stupid-stupid-stupid!" He looked at Boneless, whose head moved down, making it seem he did a nod.

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Dinner at the castle was most strange, as the queen and her daughters watched how Pinkie was grumbling under her breath and was roughly chewing on her food.

Celestia slowly approached the subject, "So… My darling… did anything interesting happen today?"

Pinkie was still chewing when she mumbled out, "No."

Rarity winced at her sister's lack of table manners, "Um, Pinkie… it's rude to talk with your mouth full…"

Pinkie gave off a deadly glare. That caused the rest of her sisters to stop eating and freeze in fear. Then her face softened and sighed, "Sorry, guys… I don't mean to be such a grumpy-pants… but today… I met the most annoying, fun-loving, brag-braggie stallion ever!"

"Huh?!" her sisters said.

"Yeah! He was totally bragging how he was a better party planner than me!"

"WHAT?!"

"That's ridiculous!" said Applejack.

"Yeah! Any pony can see you're the better party planner!" said Rainbow.

"Why in the world would he make an outrageous claim like that?!" Rarity mentioned.

"Who was he?" Fluttershy asked.

"His name is Cheese Sandwich and he runs a joke shop that just opened up."

Twilight gestured, "Well, Pinkie, maybe it would be wise for you to stay away from him if he's just going to make statements that hurt ponies' feelings."

"But I want to prove to him that I am the better party planner!"

Her sisters gave confused glances.

Rarity pointed, "But darling, why does it matter you show him up?"

"Your best chance is to ignore him." said Applejack.

"You don't understand! He… He has all this neat stuff in his shop that could make him a superior party planner than me! He's funny, weird, and cool!" she panted.

The girls had wide eyes.

"Why, Pinkie…" started Rarity. "It sounds like you're actually impressed by him."

"Me? Impressed?! No way!" But her blushing face gave it away.

Rainbow pointed an accused hoof, "Oh my gosh! You totally are!"

AJ smirked, "I reckon' our little sister has a crush on the guy."

"Ewww!" Pinkie stuck her tongue out. "I do not!"

Celestia then spoke up, "Now that's enough. Pinkie's affair with Mr. Sandwich is her business and I must ask the rest of you to respect that. It wouldn't be so bad if they could patch things up and become good friends. But that is all up to you, my darling."

Pinkie replied, "Thanks, Mom." She smiled and resumed eating in a more normal way.

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Cheese could hardly eat his dinner in the one-room apartment above his shop. He had lots of customers come in, but he could not stop thinking about his first customer who left in such a haste thanks to his loud mouth babbling. He didn't mean to say he was a better party planner then her. If anything, it was she who really was the better party planner. He just got so nervous with her standing so close to him. All he was trying to do was to impress her. He looked to Boneless, who was sitting across from him.

"Oh, Boneless… what am I to do? I won't get another chance with her like today. I really blew it." He smacked his face to the table. Then his ears perked up. "What's that?" he raised his face, "The Filly and Colt Orphanage fundraiser? With Pinkie hosting… I could see her again and show her my stuff! Boneless, you are a genius!" He threw the chicken in the air.

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Pinkie was making her way up the stairs just as her sisters were bombarding her with questions about Cheese Sandwich and of how much she liked him.

With a grunt, she said, "I don't like him! So quit asking!" She started singing, "If there's a prize for rotten judgment… I guess I've already won that… No colt is worth the aggravation… That's ancient history, been there, done that!"

Her sisters sang out, "Who d'ya think you're kidding… He's the Earth and heaven to you! Try to keep it hidden… Honey, we can see right through you!"

"Oh no…"

"Girl, you can't conceal it… We know how you feel and who you're thinkin' of…"

"Oh-ho, no chance, no way… I won't say it, no, no…"

"You swoon, you sigh, why deny it, uh-oh!"

"It's too cliché… I won't say I'm in love…"

"Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, oo-oo-oo…"

"I thought my heart had learned its lesson… It feels so good when you start out…"

"Ahhhh…"

"My head is screaming, 'Get a grip, girl'! Unless you're dyin' to…"

"Cry your heart out!"

"Ohhhh…"

"You keep on denying, who you are and how you're feelin'… Baby, we've not buying… Hon, we saw you hit the ceilin'! Face it like a grownup when gonna own up that you… Got, got, got it bad!"

"Oh, no chance, no way! I won't say it, no, no!"

"Give up, but give in!"

Rarity sang, "Check the grin, you're in love…"

"This scene won't play! I won't say I'm in love!"

"You're doing flips, read our lips, you're in love! Shoo-doo, shoo-doo…"

"You're way off base, I won't say it!"

"She won't say in love!"

"Get off my case, I won't say it!"

"Girl, don't be proud… It's okay, you're in love…"

Pinkie went to her room, where she shut the door behind her and smiled to herself, "Oh… At least out loud… I won't say I'm in… Love…"

"Shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo… Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la… Haaa…"

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The fundraiser was being held in front of the orphanage and already a crowd was gathering as the princesses were on a platform overseeing the event. Pinkie was getting ready to perform for the kiddies and grown-ups while Cheese was watching the whole thing from an alleyway.

He took a deep and told Boneless, who was on his back, "This is it. Wish me luck." He touched the chicken and it gave out a squeak.

Pinkie spoke into the mic, "Okay, everypony! Who's ready to have some fun-raiser?!"

"I am," a voice said in the crowd.

Pinkie looked past the gathering of ponies and saw the stallion she met in his joke shop. Her eyes slit and his eyes did the same. She passed the mic to Twilight, who gave a confused look. Pinkie jumped down and slowly made her way to Cheese, who blew a noisemaker while giving off a serious look.

She took this as a song cue and started performing in a silly way, "There is no way… I'm gotta to sit this one out… I gotta take a chance now… Not be a prisoner of doubt… I'm coming straight on for you! I've made up my mind! I'm feeling strong now! Now I'm comin' through! I'm coming straight on for you! Yeah! Straight on for you! I'm coming straight for you!"

Cheese performed back, causing those around him to smile and he sang, "Now I know… How to play my hoof… What the winner don't know, the gambler understands…"

Pinkie furrowed her brow and asked, "What does that even mean?"

Cheese released a laugh and replied, "I have no idea!"

Pinkie scowled and sang again, "No! You don't stand a chance!"

He gave a smirk and sung, "You don't stand a chance!"

"I'm coming straight on for you!"

"Straight on for you!"

"Straight on for you!"

"Straight on for you!"

They sang together by being a few inches close to each other, "Straight on for you!" They stopped and ponies cheered while the princesses were giving off uneasy looks trying to figure out what just happened.

Pinkie and Cheese stared at each other for a long time before he started apologizing.

"You must know… I never meant to be a better party planner than you. I was… just trying to show you that I can be a great planner like you…"

"So… you think I'm better than you?"

He nodded.

"That's silly! You are an amazing party thrower!"

Rainbow started shouting, "But didn't you say-" She was cut off when Pinkie threw a cupcake in her mouth.

She turned back to Cheese, "I was actually testing you to see if you can throw a party like I could!"

"Really?!" his eyes gleamed.

She smiled, "Really. Because I'm going to need an assistant and a supplier for all the party planning I have to do."

"Yowza! I'll do it!"

They both laughed and shook hooves on it.

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Pinkie was smiling when she finished her story. Cotton smiled too, but her aunts and cousins were looking lost.

"I don't get it." Whirl Wind said.

Cotton sighed and explained, "Mommy and Daddy were so crazy for each other that they had to impress the other by acting crazy."

Screw Ball countered, "Uh, I know crazy and that was just mondo weird."

"Maybe, but at least it brought my parents together."

Pinkie hugged her daughter, "It most certainly did, sweetie… It most certainly did…"