“Do you have any requests for supper?” asked Cadence kindly. “It’s not too late for me to have that arranged.”
“Anything is okay,” I said dismissively. I couldn’t believe I was having a dinner discussion when I was staring at a secret AI! Or, technically, a secret-secret AI. Christ, this was getting out of hoof.
“Of course. Here’s your lunch, sorry for the delay,” said Cadence. She slipped the tray through a slot in the bars, which I grabbed and set down for later analysis/consumption. “Auntie has been very busy lately, she almost forgot to put the order in.”
“So… Does that make Luna your mother?” I asked. Cadence shook her head.
“I’m her niece by adoption. Auntie’s mother adopted my great-great-great-great-great, and so on, grandmother. When her great-great-great-great-great grandson had me, Auntie decided it’d be easier for everyone if we skipped the technicalities and just called me her niece,” explained Cadence. “Which I am, but with a lot of ‘great’s in front.”
“Cadence? Are you an android?”
Silence reigned supreme for several minutes, to the point where it seemed I may have made a mistake. Slowly, though, Cadence nodded her head. It became obvious to me that Cadence hadn’t been programmed completely. It took her too long to decide that she had an answer to my question. She only barely had self-awareness, and that meant something big. Regal was rushing. Regal was scared.
Regal was almost out of options.
“Tell me about yourself,” I said. “Who created you? And why?”
“I don’t know. Isn’t that the question we all want answered? Who are we, why are we here, what is the meaning of this life?” Cadence chuckled. “I like to think that I was made to be a good wife and mother. You probably noticed by now, but I’m expecting!” She sounded so excited to be a mother, but not excitement like the others. This felt more artificial. Her words lurched out of her mouth like plastic.
“No, you’re not showing at all,” I said. I peered at Cadence with a guarded sort of caution. “Cadence? Can I ask you about your programming?”
“I can’t answer all of your questions,” warned Cadence. “But I’ll try my best.”
“Twilight seems to think that there are only seven CCiOS AI,” I said. “But you’re not one of them, are you?” She shook her head. “But you’re an AI, right?”
“Twilight and her friends are something slightly different from me. They’re… I’m missing bits of code. I’m not incomplete, more like they’re super-complete.” Cadence shook her head in confusion. “I’m at 100%, but Twily is at 150. I lack Sentient Code.”
Which would explain the weird, stilted way in which she spoke. She was just regurgitating responses, instead of thinking them up herself. An important distinction to make.
“Alright, so you’re not a… Let’s call them Core AI,” I said. “If you’re not a Core AI, what exactly are you?”
“I’m going to be a Core AI. Auntie just needs Twilight’s help.”
“Needs her help with what?”
“Auntie lost her Sentient Code, and she needs to rewrite it,” said Cadence. Her expression never shifted from her cheery demeanor, even as she had a total breakdown. “Oh no! I wasn’t supposed to say that! You weren’t supposed to know that, I broke my directive….” She seemed to un-stick her face, which soon fell into a disgusted grimace (Regal did a great job of making her seem expressive). “This is your fault.”
“Hey, I just asked a question,” I said. “I never forced you to answer. You screwed up, don’t pin it on me.”
“NO!” Her voice fizzled and cracked. She sounded sort of like Twilight, way back when Regal first woke up and she panicked herself into a shutdown. “You tricked me!”
“I didn’t trick you, Cadence, you’re just not pony enough to make real decisions,” I said. I wish I had the good sense to stop then. But I was ticked off. Regal thought she could put me in a cage and guard me with a half-finished robot? She didn’t take me seriously enough to properly watch me? To hell with that. “You say you’re 100%, but you’re really only about 50. You can’t think properly, because you don’t have a mind. You’re not like Twilight. Twilight is a super computer. You?” I chuckled mockingly. “You’re a pocket calculator.”
Cadence said nothing. Didn’t scream, didn’t swear, didn’t threaten to have me starved. She just slowly walked away, to the panel that controlled the plexiglass just outside of my cage. The glass lowered, became completely opaque, then turned bright white. Almost glowing. Everything else in the room then followed suit. The floor, the walls, even the bars all turned that same, bright, almost blinding shade of white. Then, there was a small pulse or burst, like when you plug earbuds into a speaker, and all sound stopped.
I wasn’t very familiar with modern forms of torture by that point. In my mind, torture was iron maidens and being forced to watch professional sports. But compared to this… I’d happily take the maidens. I didn’t understand why, and I still don’t, but it was the worst experience of my life. Everything was so bright… I lost feeling in my body. I started to feel like I was going crazy.
Two days in (I think it was two days. I couldn’t be sure), the hallucinations started. Little movement where there was none. Whispers that might’ve been mine, but probably weren’t. I think I saw a rat once or twice. I don’t recall how often I slept, but I always woke up on my hooves, as if preparing to run. I tried clawing at my walls, anything to get out of the box. I felt like I was fading away, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that my coat practically matched the walls.
I started to talk to nopony, just to try to hear something. Some part of me was aware that some sort of sound dampening had been activated, but that part was small and quiet. For all I remember, I could’ve been babbling like an infant. I had no food. The meal that had been prepared for me before the wall went down… I don’t remember what happened to it. I might’ve eaten it, but I don’t remember.
When the wall finally came up, I was sitting in the corner, trembling. I barely even recognized what was happening at first. I didn’t react until I heard the clatter of my tray against the floor. I tensed, then used what felt like the last of my energy to pull myself over to my food. Cadence stood, a bright, almost emotionless smile plastered across her face.
“Hello, Ms. Aigo!” she said cheerily. “How are we doing today? How do you feel?”
“Th-thirsty,” I croaked. Cadence nodded and slipped me a bottle of water through the bars. I opened it and chugged the whole thing in a few seconds.
“I know,” said Cadence. “You’re doing well for five whole days, though. Still, Auntie told me not to seriously hurt you, and I think you’ve learned your lesson by now.”
“Regal told you to do that?” I asked.
“Well… She said that I should only close the cell if you tried to make a break for it, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” she said dismissively. “You’re okay, though, right?”
I barely resisted the urge to tell her that, hell no, I wasn’t okay at all. Something slowly began to occur to me. Cadence wasn’t just unfinished. She was broken. Regal wouldn’t let her AI disobey her like that. This was a mistake.
“I’m… I’m fine,” I said weakly. “It’s been five days?” Cadence nodded. “What do we do next?”
“Hm? I don’t know what you mean by that,” said Cadence, tilting her head in confusion.
“I just mean… You guys can’t honestly expect me to sit here and do nothing for the rest of my life,” I said. “Come on, this is inhumane. I wanna take a shower, go for a walk, be a pony instead of whatever the hell I am right now. Not that I’m not living the life, but these past five days have been bullshit.”
“Please don’t swear,” begged Cadence. “I find it unbecoming.”
“Sorry, sweetheart, I’ve got a foul mouth,” I said. “I just say shit and don’t even realize it. See, I didn’t catch that last one.”
Cadence twitched as if something had set off in her head. She ran to a panel to my left and hit a few buttons. The wall began lowering again, and I had to rush forward to stop her.
“Alright, alright, geez, I’m sorry!” I said in panic. “I’ll keep it PG! Just don’t make the room white again!” The wall stopped, then rolled back up. Cadence didn’t seem to remember that she was upset at me.
“Of course you will,” she said cheerily. “So, I’m not needed elsewhere for another few minutes. Is there anything I can do for you in that time?”
I had to look at her. Not just at her, but in her. If I could find the screw-up in her programming, I might be able to do something with it. But I couldn’t just ask her if I could dissect her and look at her guts, could I?
What did I have to lose?
“Cadence, I would like it if you did me a tiny little favor,” I said. “I’d like to look at your code.”
“Er… May I ask why?” she said guardedly.
“I’ve been curious about the AI for the longest, but I couldn’t learn much on account of their Sentient Code,” I explained. Not a lie, but not quite the truth either. “Since you don’t have it, I might be able to answer some questions.”
“I don’t know… I don’t know if Auntie will be happy with that,” said Cadence.
“She probably wouldn’t be happy that you starved me for almost a week,” I pointed out. “I won’t tell if you won’t.” It was like talking to a foal. A foal that could end up killing me if I pissed her off too much. Which was bad, because I excelled at pissing people off.
“Still, if you end up using my programming to escape, I’m going to get in trouble.” She walked to the panel and pressed a few keys, starting the wall again. “I can’t let you do that.”
“No! No-no-no, I swear.” I grabbed the bars, shaking them slightly. “Stop! I swear, I’m not trying to escape! Just get some answers!” Cadence said nothing but paused the wall where it was. “Look, all I could possibly do with knowledge of your code is make an AI myself, but that’s not something I could even use! I still don’t know how Sentient Code works! What could I possibly do, what do I possibly have to gain?”
“Auntie said that you don’t work like that,” said Cadence. “Auntie said that you’ll do anything to make her angry.”
“That is true, however, I’m not as aimless as I might look,” I said. “See, my goal is to piss off your Auntie as much as possible. If I were to escape right now, I might piss her off a little, but that’s not what I want. I want to make her the angriest, and the best way to do that is to shut down her company. The best way to do that is from the inside, so I’d be able to make her the angriest from here.” That was probably the faultiest, yet most accurate, piece of logic I had ever delivered.
Cadence stared blankly, processing what I had said. I was terrified, to be perfectly honest. If she didn’t buy what I was selling, she would leave, and I had the nagging suspicion that she wouldn’t be back in five days. No, if she left now, I was convinced that she would let me starve to death. I needed her to believe me, because, for once, my life depended on me telling the truth.
“Do you Pinkie Promise?” she asked.
“Sorry?”
“Pinkie Promise. It’s the most sacred and soul-binding agreement you could enter.” Cadence raised the wall, which calmed me down slightly. “Pinkie Pie takes them more seriously than anything.”
“NK takes something seriously?” I asked. I shook my head. “Fine, sure, I Pinkie Promise.”
“You have to do the rhyme,” Cadence pointed out. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
I sighed. This was getting ridiculous.
“Sure, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I repeated. She seemed to accept this as good enough. “Can I look now? Please?”
The door opened and in stepped Celestia. She seemed extremely tired, but trying her best to hide it. Whatever business she had over the past week really took a toll on her. Her mane was a mess, and I don’t think she slept at all since the last time I saw her. Despite the situation, and how much I hated her, I kinda started to feel bad for her a little bit.
“Hello, Cadence, Ms. Aigo,” said Regal dryly. “As enjoyable as I’m sure it would be to chat with my niece and my mortal enemy, I am going to have to ask you to wrap it up soon. I feel no shame in admitting that some sleep would be greatly beneficial to me.”
“Yeah, Regal, hold up a sec,” I said. “I think Cadence might be broken.” Celestia let her tired gaze linger on me for a few seconds, then headed for her bed.
“I am not in the best of moods when we speak normally,” she yawned. “With no sleep, I’m even more irate. Do not try to mess with me today.”
“No, I’m serious! She boxed me in and turned everything white, even though you told her not to do that unless I tried to escape.” Regal raised an eyebrow in what I really hoped was shock. “Which, by the way, I didn’t! She’s freaking out, and I think she needs some repairs.”
“YOU LIAR!” shrieked Cadence. “You said you wouldn’t tell!”
“Cadence? Is what she said true?” asked Celestia.
“Of course it’s true! Why would I lie about something like this?” I asked. “C’mon, Regal, if I was trying to get one over on you, don’t you think I’d go for something a little safer?”
“I asked my niece for a reason, Ms. Aigo.” Celestia looked at her “niece” sternly. “Cadence, please tell me the truth. Did you use the White Room without my permission?”
Cadence seemed to grapple with herself for a bit, trying to decide if she could circumnavigate her protocols of honesty. I bit my tongue in anticipation. I didn’t think Cadence could lie here, but her very presence was something I didn’t think could happen.
“Y-yes, but I had to!” Celestia, for whatever reason, didn’t immediately shut her down. Instead, she sat and listened, like a disappointed parent. “She was being volatile, I didn’t know what she might do!”
“Volatile is pushing it,” I chimed. “I admit, I may have been talking shit, but she really should’ve been expecting that.”
“Thank you, Ms. Aigo, but I can handle this,” said Regal, glaring at me slightly. “Preferably without your commentary.”
“Auntie, you have to believe me,” begged Cadence. “She was saying awful things, I felt threatened, I just did what I thought was right.”
“I know, Cadence. I believe you.” My heart stopped and relocated itself somewhere just behind my tongue. “C4-DNC, begin shutdown protocol.” Cadence didn’t even have time to argue. Her eyes seemed to fade slightly, and she stopped moving. Celestia grunted tiredly, trotted over to some corner of the room that I couldn’t see, and wheeled a dolly underneath Cadence. She pushed the disabled android over to the same corner, groaning slightly as she did.
“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Ms. Aigo,” sighed Celestia. “I greatly appreciate that you didn’t use this to your advantage.” She yawned again. Jesus, this lady was making me tired. “Cadence is very near and dear to my heart, and I thank you for not interfering with her.”
“There wasn’t much I could do,” I said with a shrug. “Besides, this was more to save my own ass than anything.”
“Still, I believe the act is rewardable enough, regardless of the reason.” Celestia pressed a few keys on her Interface. “I take it you still want to see Twilight? I can arrange that if you like.”
“You’re joking,” I said. “Hell yeah, I wanna talk to Twi.”
“Very well. I’ll have Luna bring her. Please keep the noise to a minimum, I desperately need some sleep. My head is killing me.” Celestia yawned again. “Don’t bother scheming and planning your escape. My room is bugged, and I’ll be reviewing the film in the morning.”
“Look, at the moment, the only way I’m getting out if I had a poster to cover up an escape tunnel,” I said. “Just let me talk to my friend for a second.”
“Very well.” Regal tapped at her Interface. “She will be here shortly. Until the morning, Ms. Aigo. I think we may be spending a bit more time together than usual.” Regal quietly trudged over to her bed and collapsed onto her mattress. From what I could tell, she fell asleep almost immediately.
I didn’t think I’d ever see Twilight again, especially not this easily. Celestia was basically giving her back for a few hours. I had no plan, not even the beginnings of a plan, but a few hours with my AI was a great place to start. All I had to do was come up with a solid strategy that requires no resources, no privacy, and no outside help. Which sounded impossible until you looked at it from a different angle. Then, it just looked a little less than impossible.
I heard the door slide open, followed by the roll of wheels and the tapping of hooves. Luna wheeled a dolly (similar to the one that Celestia used for Cadence). Sitting motionless, stiff and unmoving, was Twilight’s android. It didn’t even look like she was in it. Luna silently tapped at her Interface, which activated my restraints. My legs locked together, dropping me to the ground. Luna pressed a button on the panel, raising my bars, wheeled Twi in, and closed the room on her way out.
“I will come collect her in two hours and forty-five minutes,” said Luna. She trotted out of the room, locking the door behind her. My magnets unstuck themselves, which let me tap Twilight on the nose.
“Psst! Hey, Twi! Wake up!” I whispered. There was silence for a few minutes, and then…
“Aiden?”
For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt myself smile. My AI was back, and I was ready to raise some hell.
“Sup, Twi,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s good to see you.” Her eyes powered on, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I can’t believe it! I… I thought she killed you,” said Twilight. She laughed weakly. “Obviously, that’s not the case.”
“Did you really think these assholes could get rid of me that easily?” I chuckled. “We don’t have much time, and I probably won’t see you again until we’re busting out of the door.”
“Do you have a plan?” she asked. I laughed.
“Do I ever have a plan?” She shook her head in disappointment. “I need some info before we can start planning. My hard drive. The special one with the self-destruct feature. Do you know where it is?”
“Yes. It’s in the workshop where they try to crack me.”
Twilight had semi-regular access to my hard drive. This was good. Very, very good. I couldn’t leave this place without it, and Twilight could potentially get it for me.
“Rarity?” I asked. She shook her head. “Damn. That complicates things a bit. Alright, shit… Do you still have my Vlog? The one linked to the Kill Command?”
“I do. What do you plan…?” Twilight began.
“Can’t answer that, not yet. One last thing, and you really can’t ask about this one.”
“What is it?”
“Can you teach me to write Sentient Code?” I asked.
Twilight tilted her head in confusion, but honored my wishes and asked no questions. Instead, she thought on it for a moment. I could understand why she was hesitant. She had just under three hours to teach me the most complex concept I’d ever encountered. A concept that I couldn’t find out over the course of months by myself. A concept that Regal herself still needed help to replicate. It was pretty much impossible.
I think that made Twilight excited.
“Where do we begin?”