Diamond Tiara slipped her pencil into the bandanna wrapped around her head, doing its sworn duty of keeping her mane from exploding in every direction. She'd been wear bandannas for as long as she could remember. They certainly beat having to spend all that time brushing and styling her mane, time that could be better spent playing or helping her father. Time was precious, for so much of it was consumed by what her mother demanded of her.
By now, her collection was quite large, but this particular one, patterned with the royal symbol of Princess Celestia, was her favorite. She wore it almost every day. The day when she'd move on to a new favorite was coming though. She could feel it in her bones. Soon, she'd find another bandanna that struck her fancy, and this one would be relegated to her closet, only rarely seeing the light of day again.
She stared at the book in front of her, trying to make sense of the mystical symbols and equations that were somehow supposed to let her figure out how long the sides of a triangle were. The task wasn't made any easier by her belief that it was an utter waste of time. It wasn't like calculating how much tax would be required on a purchase or making a statistical analysis of current market trends. Those things had uses. Triangles? Those things were practically useless.
It didn't help either that she'd spent the last hour worrying about something else. And that something else was about to arrive, for she'd just heard the front door open and close. That could only mean one thing: that her mother was back from the parent-teacher conference.
Silently, she counted the seconds as her mother was no doubt putting away her coat. At the sound of the first hoof on the stairs, she shifted her count to that instead. Seventeen steps, then five more seconds. A rapid knock on her door, and then her doom entered the room.
"Diamond Tiara, we need to talk. I just had the most interesting conversation with your teacher, and do you know what she said?"
Diamond froze. Here it comes, she thought. Miss Cheerilee told her all about how I didn't get my homework complete on time, and I'm going to get grounded and won't be allowed to go to Canterlot with daddy this weekend. Silently, she waited for inevitable to start.
"She said you don't have any friends."
Diamond nearly collapsed with relief. Was that all? Turning to her mother, she said, "Well, duh. Have you seen the ponies in my class?"
"I saw the parents," Spoiled Rich said, shaking her head, "and I guess I can see your point, though there was one couple that seemed like they could be socially acceptable. But whether you like them or not isn't the point, Diamond. What matters is whether or not they like you."
"But why? It isn't like they matter."
Spoiled Rich gave her daughter a stern look. "You want to succeed in life, right?"
Diamond knew exactly how to answer that question if she wanted to avoid a long lecture on the importance of success. "Of course, Mom."
"Then you've got to be popular." Spoiled Rich waved a hoof in the air and looked up toward the ceiling as she gathered her thoughts. Her daughter waited patiently until at last Spoiled Rich began to speak. "See, it's like this… When you read the paper, who are you more likely to hear about: Sapphire Shores or that star guy Day Grassy?"
Diamond Tiara wasn't sure what the correct answer was, as she recalled neither from the newspaper. Mentally, she reviewed the comics pages from the last week. Yes, she was sure, neither one was in any of them. But since she had no clue who that Day Grassy guy was, she offered a tentative "Sapphire Shores?"
"Exactly! And do you know why? Let me tell you: Because she's popular. And so people are far more interested in listening to her than somepony who spent all their time learning the tiniest details of the subject matter rather than becoming popular. And it isn't just her. Fancy Pants: hugely influential in Canterlot. Is he any better than other ponies? Of course he is, because he's popular, so he matters and they don't. And it doesn't stop there. No, it goes right up to the top," Spoiled Rich said, her hoof waving for emphasis. "Do you suppose Princess Celestia is our ruler because of her wisdom, her combat prowess, or because we need her to raise and lower the sun?"
Diamond Tiara frowned. All those things seemed like good reasons why Princess Celestia would be in charge. But based on the way her mother's conversation was going, she went against her gut feeling. "No?"
"That's right. It's because she's popular. After all, unicorns raised and lowered the sun for years before the Princess showed up, so we don't exactly need her for that. And wisdom? She's the type who would likely send out some minions to deal with an extinction level event and then make everypony think she was involved in dealing with the issue by using a fancy awards ceremony.. And she hasn't won a one on one duel for a thousand years. But none of that matters. Do you know why?"
"Because she's popular?" Diamond Tiara said, with much more confidence that that was the right answer.
"Exactly!" Spoiled Rich affectionately rubbed the top of Diamond Tiara's head. "She raises and lowers the sun with a style and flair that the unicorns never had, and that makes her popular. And because she's popular, those minions of hers will do whatever she asks, even if it could mean their deaths. Pretty much anypony could do that, but it doesn't matter, because she's more popular than anypony else. She's so popular that if you told anyone what I've just told you, they'd look at you like you were crazy. They think she's a goddess incarnate, that she can do no wrong. Because she's that popular."
Rising to her hooves, Spoiled Rich walked over to the window and looked out over the town. She beckoned Diamond Tiara over to her side.
"And the thing is, Princess Celestia knows this, knows the importance of being popular. Do you know how I know this?" Spoiled Rich pointed toward the large tree home that served as the town's library. "Miss Cake heard from Pinkie Pie who heard it from some lizard that the new town librarian, who apparently is Princess Celestia's prized pupil, was sent here to learn how to be popular. Apparently she had no friends at all in Canterlot, not one at all. The Princess couldn't let that stand, so she banished her pupil from Canterlot to here so she could study how to be popular. If it takes, who knows, maybe in a few years, we'll have a new princess. A Princess of Popular." She paused every-so-briefly. "Ity."
With a flourish, Spoiled Rich pulled the drapes close, obscuring the sight of the town, and grabbed hold of Diamond Tiara's shoulders. "So you see, you've got to be popular, the most popular pony in your class, if you want to succeed in life."
"But what if nobody likes me?" Diamond Tiara asked.
"Oh, dear, how they could they not? You're my daughter, the prettiest and richest filly in town." Spoiled Rich frowned. "Well, if you'd just lose those ugly bandannas and do something with your mane, anyway. Looking better than everypony else is half of what it takes to be more popular than them, after all." She paused again, remembering one more important point. "I almost hesitate to bring this up, as I don't want to scare you, my dear, but you've got to be wary of what could happen if you aren't popular. You wouldn't want to wind up like Princess Celestia's sister, now would you?"
"You mean the new princess, Luna?" Diamond Tiara asked.
Spoiled Rich nodded. "I heard from my hair stylist that way back when, she was not popular, and that is why she went mad and became Nightmare Moon. That's almost as bad as being an ordinary pony. So as you can see, you've got to become popular, Diamond. It is the most important thing in life, for without it, even a princess can fall."
Diamond Tiara cast a quick glance toward her desk. "Is it more important than maintaining a 3.5 GPA?"
Spoiled Rich laughed. "My daughter, always such a kidder. Now, tomorrow, I want you to start on becoming the most popular filly in school, alright? I'll expect a progress report when you get back home."
"Okay," Diamond Tiara muttered.
"That's my girl," Spoiled Rich said. With that, she turned and left the room.
"Rats," Diamond Tiara muttered, collapsing into her chair. With a sigh, she opened her notebook to a fresh page, pulled her pencil out of her bandanna, and began planning.
Diamond Tiara took a deep breath before stepping into the school house. The ponies already in the classroom turned to see who had entered. A bit silly, she thought, since she was the last to arrive, and it wasn't like any of them were her friends or that she was the most popular filly in school. Nopony said anything in greeting, nor did they turn away. They just looked at her. The Apple family one wore a perplexed expression on her face, a look she usually reserved for math class.
She froze in worry. Was her mane still styled perfectly or had the wind mussed it, undoing half-an-hour's worth of work? Should she have left the tiara at home? Her mother did always stress the importance of accessorizing, but maybe it was too much for this setting? At least they weren't laughing at her, not yet anyway, she thought with relief, but regardless, she could feel her cheeks reddening, and her knees felt like they could buckle under the weight of the stares at any moment. She needed to do something before everything went wrong.
Fortunately, her planning last night meant she was prepared..
"I, uh, brought cupcakes for everyone," Diamond Tiara said, opening up the box for all to see, and the calm erupted into action like a Pinkie Pie surprise party with everything, from the guests to the quantity of confections scaled down.
"Chocolate dibs!" Rolly, the nickname Diamond used when thinking of the short, fat one, launched himself toward the offered goodies so quickly his desk slid backwards. His quick start coupled with the location of his desk allowed him to be the first foal to close the distance, and one of the chocolate cupcakes disappeared into his mouth. Despite their slower starts and longer distance to travel, the rest of the class was right behind.
"I'll take a thrawberry one, if that'th all right?" the filly Diamond thought of as Red, thanks to the color of her frizzy mane, asked. She waited for Diamond Tiara's affirmative nod before taking the cupcake she desired.
The last cupcake was claimed by the mousy, grey filly. As usual, her mane was a tangled mess, and her glasses sat crooked upon her nose. She said something, but whatever it was was lost under the garbled thanks from one of the class clowns, who seemed to have crammed his entire cupcake in his mouth. Diamond Tiara had to offer the cupcake box twice before the filly took the cupcake and scurried back to her desk.
It crossed Diamond Tiara's mind that that filly —what was her name? Some sort of cutlery… Silver Fork? No, that wasn't quite right. She'd have to make it a point to memorize everypony's names, she decided, just like how her dad always knew everypony's name. Ponies seemed to react better to that then if you said, "Hey you!" Nor did they always take kindly to perfectly sensible nicknames— Anyway, she could see her mother's point. Mouse was never going to amount to much, at best winding up working for someone else who would take all the rewards.
"Okay, class," Miss Cheerilee called, rapping her hoof on her desk to quiet everyone down. "Everypony thank Diamond Tiara for those delicious cupcakes." A chorus of thanks yous came forth from the class, and Miss Cheerilee continued. "Now, if everypony will open their history book to page thirty-four, we can get started."
The classroom filled with the sounds of ponies digging through their bags or opening their bags to retrieve their books, followed by the rustling of pages as they sought the correct page. All except for Diamond Tiara, who raised her hoof.
"Diamond Tiara?" Miss Cheerilee asked.
"Miss Cheerilee, I brought you something, too." Diamond Tiara reached into her saddlebag and brought forth a large apple. "Teachers like apples, right?"
"Yes, Diamond, teachers love apples. They're healthy and delicious." Miss Cheerilee smiled and said, "Although maybe not quite as yummy as cupcakes," causing the class to giggle.
Maybe this will all be pretty easy, after all, Diamond Tiara thought. With the use of some gifts, the right attitude, and being sure to remember everypony's name, she could pull off being popular and maintain the high grades her parents insisted upon. In no time, she'd be running this class. Maybe she could even become the head of some school club. She could imagine it now, how she would sit at a big desk and bellow orders at her subordinates, leading them with such skill that the club's success would be recognized not just by the school, but all of Ponyville. Maybe even—
"By the way, Diamond, did you get yesterday's homework completed?"
Diamond Tiara's daydream evaporated as her eyes shot open. The homework! She'd forgotten all about it. She tried to shrink into her desk. A snicker came from behind her. The sound steeled Diamond Tiara's nerves, and she straightened up. No way was that Apple kid going to laugh at her. Not that she was sure it was the Apple kid, but it seemed like the type of thing that hillbilly would do.
"I-I'm sorry, Miss Cheerilee. I got so wrapped up in the idea of bringing cupcakes that I completely forgot about it." "It won't happen again!"
"I suppose I can give you one more day," Miss Cheerilee said, "since you did bring all those cupcakes and all. But don't forget again, or I'm going to have to give you a zero, okay?"
"Yes, Miss Cheerilee, I won't forget," Diamond Tiara said, quickly jotting down a reminder to herself on her hoof.
"Good, good," Miss Cheerilee said and returned to her lesson.
Diamond Tiara barely paid attention, her mind lost in thought. This was going to be just as hard as she initially thought. There was no way one pony, even one as talented as herself, could pull this off. It just wasn't possible. There weren't enough hours in the day, not with how much time she needed to study, not if she still wanted free time to run and play.
She found her gaze drifting toward Mouse, watched how the filly was reading several chapters ahead of where they were supposed to be, yet she answered every question Miss Cheerilee asked in her barely audible voice. Always the answer was more of a question than a statement, yet never wrong.
A smile spread across Diamond Tiara's face. She knew she'd found the answer to her dilemma. If she could not have more hours per day, she would need to use her time more efficiently. And what better way to do that then to tap the class brain? With Mouse's help, Diamond Tiara was sure she could get her homework done in half the time. The smile stayed until recess was called.
She followed Mouse out, waited until the filly sat down under a tree. With a hoof, Diamond Tiara nudged down the book the Mouse was reading.
"I've decided. We're going to be best friends," Diamond Tiara said.
It would take some effort, no doubt, but it would pay off. Mouse's saddlebag was name brand, and not the sort of brand her father's store carried either, but one of the higher end ones you had to travel to a big city to find. Obviously, the filly's family wasn't poor. Furthermore, the filly was smart, smarter than even Diamond Tiara, as far as book-learning was concerned anyway. And so Diamond Tiara had determined that Mouse and she would be friends. In exchange for help with homework, Diamond Tiara would make her popular as well. Though not quite as popular as Diamond Tiara herself, of course.
"Friends?" Mouse asked.
"No. Not friends. Best friends. Like, BFFs," Diamond Tiara said with a nod. She settled down next to Mouse and said, "I've thought it all through, and it will be perfect. We'll be the most popular fillies in town."
"Popular?"
She'd really have to learn the filly's name, Diamond Tiara thought, before she accidentally called the filly Mouse. Reaching out, she took hold of Mouse's mane. "May I?" she asked, and began braiding it without waiting for a response. From her new position, fortune smiled upon her, and she took advantage of it to note the "Property of Silver Spoon" written on the bookmark. "Yes, Sil. May I call you Sil?" Again, she didn't wait for a response, but continued braided and talking. "Popular, Sil. Let me ask you this: Do you think Celestia holds power because she's smart and a good talker? Of course not. It's because she's popular…"