I am a Brony. For quite a few years now, that’s been the defining feature of my life. I’ve had a long life, fraught with more despair than happiness.
For 5 years of my life, I was beaten nearly every day because I was slightly smarter than the rest of my classmates. For 2 years after that, I was verbally harassed for the same reason. I lived every day of my life in those years in constant pain, for one reason or another.
High school really was hell. I was eternally eclipsed by everything and everyone. I was never the focus of any event, but for one reason or another, I was always there. I’m the entire reason our class even had a prom and a dry grad. Did I ever receive any compliments or commendation for it though? Not once during or since.
I had spent 3 years of my life in love with a beautiful girl. Once I had finally amassed the courage to ask her out, she shot me down without a second thought. I spent prom, graduation night, and every other night of the year without a significant other. Whoever said high school prom is a dream come true clearly never attended mine.
On my actual prom night, I was humiliated not only by my peers, but my teachers as well. After having 4 hours of my life whiled away listening to the athletic and academic based praise of my other classmates, the student humiliation began. Who would ever think that in today’s day and age people would still imitate Carrie? I know I didn’t. I didn’t give my classmates much credit in the ways of how they would insult me, but I expected slightly better than that.
The rest of that night was a blur. I only wish I’d had the power Carrie had possessed in order to make my tormentors suffer. Instead, all I could do was leave, and look for an appropriate way to end it all. I remember climbing to the top of our building and standing on the absolute edge of the roof. The only reason I didn’t and couldn’t move that last inch over was because of my 2 best friends.
One, my true best friend, was a Brony like I was. We’d been friends for years. People always saw that I was near the top of the class in marks, but I was always far more impressed by what he could do. I admire him still to this day.
The other, who still was one of my best friends for what he did that night, rejected Bronies. We’d grown slowly apart as the years past, and we barely communicated near the end. Even so, I was still invited to be an usher at his wedding.
My friends stayed with me from then on until graduation night. I appreciate what they did, but I knew their true motive. They were afraid that if they left me alone too long, I’d attempt to end it all again. They weren’t wrong about that.
What reason did I have to live? I could never answer that question for 17 years after my prom night. Then, at last I saw my reason for life. I had lived my whole life to be a test subject.