//------------------------------// // Issue 4: Into the Everfree! // Story: Mission Control // by Samey90 //------------------------------// The night’s silence was torn by a low-flying drone floating above the Everfree Forest. Button had “borrowed” Tank for a day to reverse engineer his helicopter. He got a face full of lightning bolts and rain when Rainbow Dash noticed, but it was worth it – now, he and Nursery could observe the strange carriage slowly crawling towards the forest. Well, at least Rainbow Dash apologised when she noticed that it was him. “I’m a bit nervous,” Nursery Rhyme muttered, watching the screens. “What if they get defeated?” “They have enough firepower to survive a zombie apocalypse,” Button replied. “And trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Also, this carriage’s walls are lined with scrap metal, and reinforced with bags of sand. Not to mention the ton of concrete.” “No wonder it drives so slowly,” Nursery said, watching as the vehicle reached the first trees. “You need to think about some better way of powering it. Maybe something potato-based?” “Maybe...” Button started to think. If enough potatoes were connected with wire... “Do you think I’d be able to do that?” “Of course.” Nursery smiled. “You and Twist are so wise...” Button’s face became red. “Let’s fly it a bit higher,” he said. “We need to look for dangers...” “Why is dat damn piece of manure so heavy?” Tootsie Flute exclaimed. She was trying to keep pace while Twist navigated the vehicle between the bushes. Sweat was soaking her costume; the carriage had only a few small windows and the inside felt like a fireplace. “It must be,” Twist replied. “Otherwise, a monster would crush us...” “What monster?” Tagalong asked. Her costume was basically a green raincoat, so she was sweating even worse than her friends. “A hypothetical one. Assume a spherical, frictionless piece of bone, muscles, and trace amounts of nerve tissue that tries to break the outer shell’s integrity...” “In other words, a big, dumb bargain hunt tryin’ to ram into us?” Tootsie Flute asked. “More or less.” Twist shrugged. “I’m not sure what you mean by ‘bargain hunt’, but–” “I have a Rhyme Slang Badge,” Tagalong said. “When she says ‘bargain hunt’, she actually means cu–” “Okay, thank you,” Twist said. “Anyway, we should withstand such an attack... for a minute or so.” “Reassuring,” Tootsie deadpanned. “We’d be able to run da whole five inches away. Useful if we’re caught by a giant, fire-spewing snail.” Twist didn’t listen to her, trying to contact Button. “How’s our route?” she asked. Through a heavy layer of static, mostly caused by the vehicle’s armour, Button’s voice could be heard. “You’ve just went past the field of poison joke. It’s clear now, I think.” “Poison joke?” Tootsie asked. “I need to get some on our way back. I don’t ‘ave any in my collection.” “Better not,” Dinky said. “Tubby doesn’t like poison joke. He also doesn’t like candies and doctors.” “Who’s Tubby?” Tootsie asked, before she remembered that some things were better left unknown. Unless one was Nursery Rhyme. If she was told that it’s better not to know something, she’d go to that thing and take a photo for her scrapbook. “My potato,” Dinky replied, smiling in a rather uncanny way. “Sometimes, when I sleep, Tubby talks to me. And we have nice dreams...” “Nevermind.” Tootsie sighed, realising that she really didn’t want to know. “How far is to da castle? And why’s da Mission Control silent?” “So, I’ve never had time for colts,” Nursery Rhyme said. “It’s kinda hard when you’re a genius and your twin sister is also a genius… You know, I barely had time to figure out sarcasm. It’s amazing how many things I missed. Amazing… and sad.” Button nodded, trying to look at the cameras from time to time, while paying attention to what Nursery was saying. At least there was enough empty space in his head to create an echo, making Nursery’s voice louder. “I kinda want to do something big,” Nursery continued. “That’s why I’m hanging out with you all. All those unexplained skills... Can you imagine how famous I’d be?” “You’ve mentioned something about colts...” Button said. “Yeah. I don’t have time for them.” Nursery shrugged. “I sacrifice them to science. But you are different. Maybe I wouldn’t have to sacrifice you?” “Well...” Button felt that, despite two broken windows, there was quite hot in the room. “I think you are pretty nice, Nursery, and–” “Is that why you’re still looking at my sister?” Nursery asked. “You just want to be with her...” “No, I mean...” Button scratched his mane. “Well, she is nice, but so are you… Maybe because you’re almost identical, but she has glasses and, umm… she has that cute little speech impediment, while you don’t... And…” He felt a mental equivalent of charging into a wall. “So, what do I have?” Nursery asked. Button raised his eyebrows. “You have… You have… nice eyes.” He sighed with relief of someone who’d just walked across a minefield. In this territory, one had to always tread carefully. “Tread carefully,” Twist said, watching as the rest of the fillies left the carriage. “It’s some swamp or something...” Their carriage was standing, buried in the mud to its axles. Tootsie tried to use her lead pipe as a lever, but without any effect, apart from bending it slightly. “The castle shouldn’t be far from here,” Tagalong said. “Maybe we should leave the carriage and get it back tomorrow?” “Yeah, ‘cause it’ll surely be easier...” Tootsie muttered. She patted the back of the carriage with her hoof and groaned. “We’ll call Button,” Tagalong said, trotting away from the carriage. Twist also left it and walked with the rest of the group. “Speaking of Button...” Twist adjusted her radio. “What the hell is he doing? I can hear his drone from here, but I don’t receive any messages...” “Radio dies first,” Dinky muttered. “Then the zebra. Then the screaming filly…” Tootsie glared at her asked. “Should I put summfin’ else up yer Tijuana brass?” she asked. “Ya’re askin’ for it, mate.” “Girls, stop arguing,” Tagalong said. “Arguments will lead us to nowhe–” Suddenly, she bumped into something she first thought to be a tree. At least till the tree grabbed her with its teeth and bit off her head. “Timberwolves!” Tootsie exclaimed, jamming her lead pipe in the eye socket of another timberwolf. Twist turned back to see that one of the creatures was standing between them and their carriage. Fwoosh! “Timberwolves!” Tagalong exclaimed, dodging another beast. A potato hit it, causing it to look around and charge at Dinky, probably because she looked the most like one. Tagalong dodged a few more timberwolves and tried to punch one in the hind legs. The timberwolf didn’t even notice that. “Not so fast!” Tootsie exclaimed, jumping on the timberwolf’s back and smacking it with the monkey wrench. “Meet Father Ted!” Another potato hit the timberwolf. It turned, almost causing Tootsie to fall. She grabbed some twigs while trying to smash the creature’s head into splinters. “Maybe a little help?” Twist asked, dodging an attack of another timberwolf, which turned, roaring at her. “I’m helping!” Tagalong shouted, charging blindly at two tons of twigs, logs, and branches. She bounced off it and collapsed. The timberwolf stomped on her, spraying blood around. Fwoosh! “I’m helping! Aargh!” Fwoosh! “Sweet Celestia...” Tootsie muttered. She rolled on the ground and smashed the timberwolf’s hind legs while Dinky knocked it out with a well-aimed potato. “Aargh! They’re tearing me apart!” Fwoosh! “Tagalong! Try to distract that one!” Twist exclaimed, pointing at the timberwolf blocking the way to the carriage. Tootsie jammed Father Ted in the mouth of the nearest wolf and fired a magic bolt at it, setting it on fire. “Bad idea!” Twist shouted, watching at the burning timberwolf ran into the forest, knocking down Tagalong. The one that was standing by the carriage ran to her, grabbed her with its teeth and threw her at the nearby tree. Twist was already in the carriage. The death rays moved and fired, causing the timberwolf to burst into steam and loose twigs, smelling slightly of burnt tree sap. The other two looked at each other and ran away into the forest. “Nice fight...” Tootsie panted. Her outfit was torn in a few places. “Where’s da radio... Need to talk to somepony...” “Tagalong!” Dinky exclaimed, seeing that the filly was still lying unconscious under the tree. It seemed that her spine was broken in a few places; blood was pouring from her mouth and nose. “Did she run out of lives?” Twist asked, leaning from the carriage and almost throwing up upon the sight. “How lame.” Tagalong groaned and opened one eye. “Not this again...” she muttered, spitting a few teeth out. “Not what again?” Tootsie asked. “Da timberwolf part or da tree part?” “Somepony... has to... reset me...” Tagalong replied, groaning. “How?” Tootsie asked. “Something... heavy… applied...” “Here ya go,” Tootsie replied, levitating Father Ted and swung it at Tagalong’s head, trying not to think about what she was aiming at or what sprayed on her hooves. Fwoosh! “Thanks,” Tagalong said, stretching her legs. “When something fails to kill you... That’s the worst.” “Please, don’t make me do dat again...” Tootsie stared at Father Ted and shuddered. “Ain’t good, killin’ yer friends.” “Next time we can use the death rays,” Twist said. “Better not,” Tagalong replied. “If I’m evaporated, I can come back in mid-air and fall. Or a few metres from here… Just about anywhere.” “Okay.” Twist nodded and grabbed the radio. “Button, for Luna’s sake, what are you doing there?” Finally, they heard Button’s voice. “Hi guys... I must’ve zoned off...” “And you missed a herd of timberwolves walking towards us?” Twist exclaimed. “Tagalong died!” “What?” “Five times and I actually counted!” Twist groaned. “We’re stuck in the middle of the swamp!” “How many timberwolves did you kill?” Button asked. “Not enough to stop me from killing you! What were you doing?” “Actually, it may have been my fault,” Nursery muttered. “We were talking and we kinda forgot to look at the screen.” Twist sighed and slammed her head against the steering wheel of the carriage, causing some death rays to go off, burning the foliage. “Does it mean Button’s my uncle now?” Tootsie asked innocently. Luckily for her, Twist’s reply drowned in howling of more timberwolves approaching them. “Everypony inside,” she ordered. They hid in the carriage and locked the door, cowering on the floor. “What now?” Tootsie asked, hearing the timberwolves approaching them. Before anypony could reply, the whole carriage shook, as the timberwolf rammed into its side. Another wolf hit the front of the carriage, causing it to roll out of the swamp. Twist jumped to the controls and started pedalling. “Ya do realise we’d run faster than drivin’ dat jam jar?” Tootsie asked, watching as Twist fired the death ray at the timberwolf jumping above their carriage. “Do you have a better idea?!” Twist exclaimed. “I dunno, but I’ve ‘eard we ‘ave a timberwolf tamer on board!” Tootsie exclaimed, pointing at Tagalong. A few boards cracked when a timberwolf hit the carriage, bending the metal sheets and crushing some concrete. “Well, the noise scares them...” Tagalong replied. “What noise?” Tootsie grabbed her wrench and lead pipe and banged them against each other. “Dat noise?” She moved closer to the wall, banging at it with her weapons and screaming, “Hey, ya! Havin’ a giggle there, mate? I’m gonna wreck ya, I swear on me mum!” “Which one?” Twist asked quietly, navigating through the bushes and towards the road. “Not yer business!” Tootsie shouted. Behind the small window of the carriage, a timberwolf shuddered and backed away slightly. “D’ya fink I forgot Truffle Shuffle?” “I smell some family feud.” Dinky covered her ears with her hooves. “Shh, Tubby, don’t listen to them.” “What the hay do you mean?!” Twist yelled. The nearest timberwolf missed the carriage and rammed into the nearby tree. “I wanted to give ‘im a card on ‘earts and ‘ooves day!” Tootsie exclaimed. “But of course ya ‘ad to–” “Someone take that pipe from her,” Twist muttered. “She’s channeling the ghosts of her parents... Last time it happened, auntie Lyra had to buy a new table.” “Just try,” Tootsie said to Tagalong who approached her, trying to grab her pipe. “Ya’ll need a regeneration...” “Excuse me...” Dinky said. “The timberwolves ran away. Just letting you know.” “Okay...” Tootsie sighed and sat on the floor. “Sorry, auntie...” “He wasn’t worth it, really,” Twist said. “It’ll take a whole night before we get this thing back to our base... And getting the cheese out of my coat was a nightmare...” “So, we’re not going to the castle?” Tagalong asked. “No,” Tootsie replied. “I ‘ave to talk to Button...” “From one to ten, how strong is the pain?” Nursery asked, watching Button cowering on the floor and clutching his crotch. Tootsie was walking around them, smirking. “Nine,” Button muttered, gritting his teeth. “He’s lyin’,” Tootsie said, flipping the lead pipe with her magic. “Or I ain’t hit ‘im hard enough...” “Actually, ten,” Button muttered quickly. “Also, I think we learned a lot from that trip...” “Yeah,” Tootsie muttered. “Safety of yer jewels depends of our safety.” “That’s not what I meant,” Button said, standing up and groaning. Twist, Dinky, and Tagalong walked to the table and sat at it, each with a cup of tea in front of them. “So, what did you mean?” Twist asked. “I prepared a presentation.” Button walked to the control panel and pulled a lever. “First, the armoured carriage is slow and can get stuck in rough terrain, but its armour and weapons work. Second, Tootsie is good at fighting and Dinky provides support from the distance, though potatoes lack penetration.” “I can exercise,” Dinky said. “Tubby says it’s possible.” Button decided to ignore that. “Last thing: Tagalong. You died five times. Are you sure you want–” “Yes,” Tagalong replied. “It doesn’t matter.” “I think you’re not ready,” Twist said. Tagalong’s face became red. “And who told you about noise?” “Okay, that was good,” Twist replied. “But you shouldn’t be in direct combat, I think.” “I can distract ponies,” Tagalong said. “And scare them.” “We’ll see,” Button said, looking at Nursery. “I think we can all use some sleep... Tomorrow we’ll think about tactics...”