"Girls, you remember Trixie, right?" Rarity said lightly.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle stared at the blue unicorn filly in front of them.
"Uhh...ain't Trixie a grown pony?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yeah, this looks more like Trixie's kid sister," Scootaloo said.
Trixie sighed. "I really am the Great and Powerful Trixie. I kinda had a little accident..."
"Usually when I have a little accident, my mom puts rubber sheets on the bed," Scootaloo stage-whispered.
"NOT THAT KIND OF ACCIDENT!"
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "What'd you do, try that age spell thing again?"
Trixie nodded. "I managed to cast it, it just...didn't hit who it was supposed to." She ducked her head and scuffed the floor with a hoof.
"Since Twilight Sparkle is too busy planning the Gala, Trixie's going to be spending the week like this, and will be attending the Gala as Sunset Shimmer's plus-one," Rarity said. "In the meantime, since everypony has so much work to do to prepare for the Gala, I'd very much like if the three of you would keep Trixie company."
"Ugh, we gotta babysit Trixie?" Scootaloo asked, making a face.
Rarity frowned. "No, you most certainly do not have to babysit her," she said. "But Trixie could use a few friends right now, and given her current...ahem...situation...I thought it best she make the most of it." She smiled. "It certainly couldn't hurt to pass the week playing with other fillies, now could it?"
Trixie rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine," she said. She looked at the Crusaders. "So, what exactly do you three do?"
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked at each other. Identical evil grins split their faces.
"Girls?" Apple Bloom said. "Let's show Trixie why we're called the Cutie Mark Crusaders."
Trixie felt a sudden spike of dread down her spine...
* * * * *
With Twilight busy working on Gala preparations, Spike busy...being Spike, and Trixie over at Carousel Boutique, Sunset Shimmer found herself with a startling lack of anything to do. While Twilight's castle was certainly magnificent and worth exploring, she found herself wanting to spend more time in Ponyville. The clean air and rustic, simple style of the town was so different from anything she'd known in her life either as a Canterlot unicorn or as a human girl. Also, there were pony versions of many people she'd gotten to know and, recently, become friends with.
A bright, sunny smile accompanied a cheerful bounce in her gait as she ambled down the road from the castle into the town proper, the sounds of ponies chatting in the streets, doing business, and bustling to and fro filling her ears. With a borrowed set of saddlebags and a generous gift of bits from Twilight jangling at her flanks, Sunset looked around at the various shops in Ponyville, wondering if it was even possible to pick up some souvenirs for her friends back home.
Back home. That was a strange thought. After all, Equestria was home, and here she was, a short balloon ride from Canterlot. And yet...
She shook her head and picked up her pace, trotting past a store called "Sofas & Quills". Not terribly far away, a massive red stallion with a familiar shaggy dark blonde mane and sleepy-eyed face was haggling with a shopkeeper over a box of nails.
As she looked around, she spotted a stationery store with colorful postcards plastered in the windows. She trotted in that direction, but barely got halfway there when there was a bright white flash and the most bizarre creature she'd ever seen appeared directly in her path. Its serpentine brown body was covered in scales and hair; its vaguely equine head sported a deer antler and a goat horn, as well as one great fang and two yellow eyes with beady red pupils. It had a lion's paw, an eagle's claw, a deer leg, a reptilian leg, one feathery wing, and one leathery wing.
She had only ever seen such a creature in the sculpture garden at Canterlot. Yet she knew exactly what it was.
Her heart began to race as she took a step back.
The creature smiled at her. "Well, hello there!" he said in a rich, affable tone. "You're Sunset Shimmer, are you not? I've heard ever so much about you. I don't believe we've met." He bowed low, extending his lion paw. "I'm Discord."
"I know who you are," Sunset said shakily. "S-stay back..."
Discord leaned away, an almost hurt expression on his face. "You mean Twilight hasn't told you, her dear, dear friend from that wacky dimension of hairless apes? Oh, for shame." He cleared his throat. "I, Discord, Lord of Chaos, have been reformed. I am no longer the evil archfiend of legend that you no doubt heard many horror stories about while you were Celestia's star student. I am now nothing more than a humble resident of Equestria, prankster extraordinaire, and occasional agent for hire to the throne of Canterlot."
Sunset blinked. "...huh?"
Discord rolled his eyes. They came up seven. "I'm one of the good guys now," he clarified as he returned his eyes to their sockets. "Well, most of the time," he added with a dry chuckle. "Anyhoo!" he exclaimed suddenly, pulling a yellow-and-brown rabbit out of his ear, "I was just wondering if perhaps you'd been invited to the Grand Galloping Gala."
"Well...yeah, actually," Sunset said.
"Oh, goodie!" Discord said, clapping his mismatched hands. "Then since you're new in town and your only friend in this world already has her own ticket, I don't suppose you have a plus-one?"
"Umm...actually, I do," Sunset said, blinking in surprise. "I'm taking Trixie to the Gala."
"Ugh," Discord grunted, blowing a serpentine raspberry. "Seriously?"
"Well, I kinda..." Sunset trailed off as she realized Discord was no longer there. The little yellow rabbit stared up at her with huge eyes, twitched one ear, then hopped away. Sunset's ears folded back. "Ooookay that happened." Shaking her head, she continued on her way to the stationery store, resolving to ask Twilight or Spike about Discord later. Ordinarily, the sight of one of Equestria's greatest enemies roaming free would be cause for alarm—but under the circumstances, it was more a cause for confusion than anything.
* * * * *
Trixie had reluctantly followed the Crusaders to a grassy vacant lot on the east side of Ponyville. Once they arrived, Apple Bloom turned and faced the other fillies. "Alright, Crusaders, today we're gonna try gittin' our Cutie Marks in bull ridin'!"
"B-b-bull riding?!" Trixie squeaked. "Are you serious?"
"Serious as a deer tick," Apple Bloom said.
Scootaloo looked around. "Uhh, Apple Bloom? Where's...the bull?"
"Yyyyyyeah about that," Apple Bloom said, scuffing a hoof on the ground. "So Ah went over an' tried t' git Ferdinand t' help us, but fer some reason, soon as Ah said we needed his help with a crusade, he ran out th' back door screamin' like a little filly."
"So how are we going to get Cutie Marks in bull riding without a bull to ride?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Like this!" Apple Bloom raised a hoof to the sky and let out a sharp whistle. The other Crusaders and Trixie looked up. Derpy descended into the lot, smiling placidly; she was wearing a saddle and a headband with a pair of cheap plastic bull horns.
"Moo!" she proclaimed happily.
Sweetie Belle stared at Derpy, then at Apple Bloom. "Seriously?" she asked flatly, her eyes half-lidded.
"Trust me," Apple Bloom said with a used cart salesman grin. She turned to Trixie. "Why don't you go first?"
Trixie took a step back. "What?" She looked at Derpy, then back at Apple Bloom. "You expect Trixie to...to ride that pegasus?"
"Bull," Derpy said. "I'm a bull. Moo."
"Actually, you sound more like a cow," Sweetie Belle said.
"Oh." Derpy frowned, then coughed. "Moo," she said in a lower-pitched voice.
"Now you sound like a cow with the flu."
"Does it matter what she sounds like?" Scootaloo asked, throwing up her hooves. "All that matters is whether or not she can buck like a bull!"
"I can do that!" Derpy said, nodding happily.
"Then it's settled! Saddle up, Trixie! Time t' git our Cutie Marks in bull ridin'!"
"But...but Trixie already has her Cutie Mark!" Trixie protested.
"Pssh. Like that matters," Scootaloo said.
Trixie suddenly found herself wreathed in a pale green magical aura and lifted into the air. "Whaaaa—!" Before she could process what was happening, Sweetie Belle had deposited her on Derpy's saddle.
Apple Bloom walked up behind Derpy. "Alright, now...GO!" she exclaimed, slapping Derpy on the flank. With a confused noise that was stuck somewhere between a whinny and a moo, Derpy jumped straight into the air and started thrashing around madly. Trixie screamed as she dug her hooves into Derpy's flanks, wrapped her front hooves around the saddle horn, and held on for dear life.
Five terrifying seconds later, Trixie skidded face-first across the ground, piling up a small heap of grass and loose dirt in front of her muzzle.
"Are you okay?" Derpy asked as she gently landed nearby. "Moo?" she added.
Trixie glared daggers at her. "Trixie will get you for that," she said sourly.
Trixie watched as the three Crusaders each took turns bull-riding Derpy. It mollified her somewhat when Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle also ended up face-first in the dirt. Apple Bloom, on the other hoof, held on for a good fifteen seconds, whooping and laughing and grinning the harder Derpy bucked in mid-air. When Derpy finally managed to launch her, she tucked into a roll and laughed as she tumbled to a stop at the edge of the lot.
"Are we done here moo?" Derpy asked. "I need to go shopping moo."
"Yeah, we're done," Apple Bloom said. "You can stop mooin' now."
"Oh, okay," Derpy said. "That was fun!" With a wave, she flew off.
"Wow, Apple Bloom! That was amazing!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Did you get your Cutie Mark?" Scootaloo asked excitedly.
Apple Bloom turned and studied her flank. "No Cutie Mark," she said with a sigh.
"Me neither," Scootaloo pouted.
"Yeah, same here," Sweetie Belle lamented.
Trixie frowned. "So wait. You three expected to get your Cutie Marks by doing something stupid and foalish none of you have any experience doing, and only trying it once?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Honestly? Not really."
"Not after all the stuff we've tried," Scootaloo said.
"We've been doing this for a couple of years now," Sweetie Belle said. "We pretty much already know it'll never take."
Trixie's brow furrowed. "Then why...?"
The Crusaders grinned. "BECAUSE IT'S WHAT WE DO!" they shouted in unison. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FOREVER! YAY!"
Trixie's ears pinned back and her eyelids drooped. "That explains so much..."
"C'mon, Crusaders!" Scootaloo said. "On to the next thing on the list!" With a raucous cheer, the three fillies rounded Trixie up and herded her along with them.
"H-hey! Trixie does not want to crusade for Cutie Marks! Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"
* * * * *
Trixie stared at the giant slingshot the Crusaders had rigged up between two thin, bendy trees. "What manner of stupidity is this?" she demanded.
"We're gonna get our DAREDEVIL Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo crowed enthusiastically, adjusting the chin strap on her helmet. Sweetie Belle, wearing a similar helmet, was putting on several pieces of padded safety equipment. Apple Bloom was zipping up a gaudy red, white, and blue jumpsuit.
Across a broad clearing, haystacks had been piled up, along with old mattresses, all arranged around a vertical padded target with a bullseye painted on it.
Trixie plopped her rump on the ground and folded her hooves. "No."
"No, you don't wanna earn your daredevil Cutie Mark?" Apple Bloom asked as she put on her helmet.
"No to all of this foolishness! And Trixie already HAS her Cutie Mark!"
"Then just do it for fun!" Scootaloo said.
"Fun?" Trixie asked in disbelief. "You think being shot out of a giant slingshot is fun? You think launching your friends through the air to their certain deaths is fun?!"
"YEAH!" the Crusaders cheered, giggling.
Trixie stared at them in disbelief. "You truly are insane," she said.
"And you're first up!" Apple Bloom said cheerfully, plunking a helmet on Trixie's head. Sweetie Belle's aura wrapped itself around Trixie, lifting her into the slingshot.
"GAH! What are you doAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Trixie flailed desperately as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo pulled back the slingshot. She screamed in sheer terror as the slingshot was released. Her scream rose in pitch and urgency as she hurtled through the air like a small blue missile. Trixie closed her eyes and covered them with her hooves as she smacked into the top of the target, flipped over it, and sailed through the air at a low angle curve, spinning out of control as she landed hard on the ground beyond the pile of hay and bedding. She rolled several times before coming to a stop, moaning in pain.
The Crusaders stared at her. "Uhh...Ah think we need t' work on our aim," Apple Bloom said. Sharing a concerned look, the three fillies trotted over to Trixie.
"Are...are you okay?" Sweetie Belle asked. Trixie groaned and shifted onto her belly, then slowly pushed herself to her hooves.
"We're so sorry!" Scootaloo cried. "It wasn't supposed to—"
Trixie turned, her horn lighting up and picking dirt and leaves out of her mane. Fury filled her eyes as she faced the Crusaders and lowered her head. She pawed the ground with a hoof.
"Uhh, Trixie?"
With a scream of hellish fury, Trixie charged. The Crusaders shrieked and ran for their lives.
* * * * *
Four exhausted fillies lay sprawled out in the grass, barrels heaving. Each filly's mane and tail were mussed, matted, and throughly chewed, and they sported various cuts, scrapes, and bruises.
"Look..." Apple Bloom puffed as she rolled onto her stomach, "we're sorry, okay? It was an accident."
"YOU are an accident," Trixie huffed, turning her nose up.
"Well, yeah, but what's that got t' do with anything?" Apple Bloom shook her head. "How 'bout we let you pick whut we're gonna do next?"
"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Sweetie Belle said.
Trixie raised an eyebrow. "How about trying to get your Cutie Marks in feeding yourselves to a bear?"
The Crusaders flinched, ears folding down. "C'mon, Trixie," Apple Bloom said in a hurt tone. "Don't be like that!"
"Yeah! We've gotta put up with you, the least you can do is be nice," Scootaloo grumped.
"Trixie wants nothing more to do with you children," Trixie sniffed, gingerly rising to her hooves.
"We'll tell Rarity you chickened out," Scootaloo said.
Trixie turned and glared at her. "Trixie will tell Rarity you launched her out of a slingshot."
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. "You do that, Rarity'll probably buy us all ice cream."
Trixie blinked. "I..." Her mouth worked soundlessly for a long moment. Eventually, she sighed. "Very well. Give me a minute to come up with something."
* * * * *
"Ah don't know if this is such a good idea," Apple Bloom said nervously.
"As I recall, you told Trixie to choose our next crusade," Trixie said. "Trixie has chosen. Do you, or do you not, wish to crusade for your Cutie Marks?"
"Well...yeah..." Apple Bloom rubbed one fetlock with a hoof. "It's just—"
"Trust Trixie. This is an excellent idea. None of you will get in trouble. Nopony will get hurt. It is merely a game." Trixie smirked. "Now, shall we?"
"Umm...won't Spike get mad?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I mean..." She shuddered. "I still haven't forgotten what happened the last time Spike got mad at us..."
"He wasn't in control of himself," Trixie said dismissively. "He might be...mildly vexed, yes, but he wouldn't harm you girls. And Trixie wouldn't let him in any case."
"Well...if you're sure..." Scootaloo said, staring up at the gleaming spires of Twilight's castle.
"Trixie is absolutely sure," Trixie said confidently. She planted her hooves firmly. "Now, let Trixie hear some enthusiasm!"
The Crusaders exchanged a look, sighed, and said, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Castle Stormers, yay."
Trixie's eye twitched. "It will have to do." With that, she galloped toward the massive doors to the castle, the Crusaders following reluctantly.
* * * * *
Spike tossed an emerald into his mouth and crunched down as he turned a page in his comic book. With Twilight dealing with the Gala, Sunset out spending the day in town, and Trixie—wherever she was—he had the castle to himself, and was loving it.
Of course, there were a billion chores to do, but why waste precious alone time cleaning the castle when there were so many comics to read and so many delicious gems to eat?
He was so absorbed in his reading and crunching he didn't hear the faint whispering or the silent sneaking of little hooves until it was too late.
"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"
Spike's head snapped up. "Wait, what? —OOF!"
His world spun as a small blue body slammed into him, sending him sliding across the cold crystal floor. "OW! What—"
Spike looked up, and his eyes shrank in dread. The Cutie Mark Crusaders loomed over him, each brandishing an overstuffed, fluffy pillow. "H-hey, what are you do—"
With a chorus of giggles, the fillies unleashed soft, feathery doom on one confused, helpless baby dragon.
Five minutes later, Spike lay in a twitching heap, occasionally burping up a goose feather. "Alright, we vanquished the dragon," Trixie proclaimed dramatically. "Now, let's loot the castle!"
Sweetie Belle's eyes widened in alarm. "Umm...we're not gonna steal from Princess Twilight, are we?"
Trixie rolled her eyes. "Of course not," she said. "We're just going to raid the fridge."
"Oh." Sweetie Belle's eyes lit up. "Okay!" With that, the four fillies charged off toward the kitchen.
Spike watched them go, blinking. "Well...that just happened." Shaking his head and sighing, he picked himself up, brushed feathers off his scales, and went back to his comic.
Two minutes later, he blinked. "HEY! Whaddya mean 'vanquished'?" He sprang to his feet and gave chase. "TRIXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"
He found the four fillies sitting around the kitchen table, huge bowls of strawberry cheesecake ice cream in front of them. The empty carton sat on the table, a sticky scoop poking out of the top. "H-HEY! We were SAVING THAT!"
"Spoils of victory," Trixie said with a smirk as she shoveled a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. "Besides, how hard can it be for a princess of Equestria to get another carton of ice cream?"
"But...but..."
"Hey, aren't you vanquished?" Scootaloo asked, tilting her head. "I'm pretty sure we vanquished you."
"Ah distinctly recall vanquishin' 'im," Apple Bloom agreed. "Sweetie Belle?"
"Oh! Definitely. Spike, you're vanquished." She nodded rapidly, then spooned ice cream into her mouth.
"I am NOT—!" Spike belched out a feather. "—vanquished!" He hopped onto the table, faced Trixie with narrowed eyes, and took a deep breath, his chest expanding. His eyes fell upon her bowl, and he gave Trixie a vicious grin.
Trixie paled. "You wouldn't."
Spike's grin widened.
Trixie's ears wilted. A second bowl and another spoon floated over from the cupboard, and she quickly divided her ice cream into two equal portions.
Spike sat down and grabbed the ice cream. "That's what I thought," he said as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth.
"Hey, Spike, why are all the pillows—"
The four fillies and baby dragon turned as one to see Sunset Shimmer standing in the kitchen door, blinking. Nopony moved.
Sunset raised a hoof. "Umm...?"
Spike pointed his spoon at the Crusaders. "They vanquished me," he said. "They stormed the castle and vanquished me, then looted all the ice cream."
Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh," she said. She turned to Trixie. "Trixie?"
"The Great and Powerful TRIXIE and her entourage, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, claim this ice cream as the spoils of victory!" she declared.
Sunset shook her head. "Okay," she said. "Just be sure to clean up the mess. And I mean the dishes and those pillows." With that, she trotted away. Once she was out of sight of the fillies, she smiled.
*I knew she just needed some friends.*