Chapter 41: Gluttony
It took more than it usually did to bring Celestia and Luna out of their shells. I guess I must have been a brooding mess. I hadn’t noticed before, but now it seemed so obvious, the two royal sisters were a little more distant to me than they were before. It was my fault, I knew, I had been too harsh on them and Luna wouldn’t appreciate being caught up in between the pressing vices of my displeasure or Celestia’s anger. I put her in an untenable position before.
Still, what was past was now past, and I laboured to make it right again, like I promised them. Today was going to be a picnic day, I was free from my small responsibilities, and I even managed to convince List of all ponies to let us have a break. I was suspicious of her intentions at first, but she clarified that a break was more productive in the long run. Good ol’ List, that set my mind at ease, I was worried that mare was growing a heart.
Tempora told me that she would be visiting in the afternoon, but that I should lead the activities until she arrived. So, for now, it was just Luna, Celestia, Discord and I, all together, for the first time in… oh longer than I could remember.
As luck would have it, the skies were clear, but storm clouds brewing in the distance threatened our little party. Tempora assured us that the weather schedule had been set, and we ‘shan’t worry about the titling details’. She could ramp up the poshness if she tried, that mare.
Celestia and Luna were outside the door even before I had finished packing the picnic basket. A timid knock where once there was furious banging were the little signs of change I had observed and felt a little regret. I hoped their reserved attitude towards me wasn’t a permanent scar, the thought was almost too much to bear. I’d often become annoyed at my Dad for being such an unreliable family member, but now I realised how hard it was to mend fences that were so easily worn down by pride.
Again came the timid knock, and I snapped myself out of my roiling thoughts.
“Coming!” I yelled, slipping out of an apron and stuffing the last few sandwiches into the basket. I had heard on an unrelated note that sandwiches were quickly becoming staple among the populace after the current court’s cooks popularised the new exotic, yet convenient, food.
I opened the door to see a slightly shy Celestia and a decidedly more enthusiastic Luna.
“Harmony!” Luna said, giving me a hug. “We brought our share!”
It was true, before them lay a small hamper packed with delicious delicacies sprung forth from the castle’s kitchens. From the looks of things, Luna had probably snuck a few licks of the icing, but Celestia’s side didn’t seem to be touched. I pretended to ignore the missing glazing and accepted the hamper with a grateful nod.
“Thanks,” I said warmly.
Luna looked relieved, probably because I hadn’t said anything about her sneaking some quick bites, but I was more concerned about Celestia. She was awfully quiet.
“Celestia, I’m glad you could come.”
“O-Of course,” Celestia replied, almost unsure of herself. It would usually be at this moment that she would throw her hooves around me, but I understood that even though we had ‘worked out’ our issues and mended a few fences, the scars were still fresh and raw without much time to heal over. Forcing a smile through sheer force of will, I held out my arms in invitation.
Celestia hesitated briefly. I gave her a welcoming smile and took the initiative, gathering her up and giving her a small hug. “Don’t worry about the past, think about the future. Today is a day we all have fun, alright?” Then I leaned in closer. “You don’t want Luna to have all the cupcakes, do you?” I decided to go an extra step further as Celestia still looked a little uncertain. “They’re chocolate.”
“W-What?!” she squeaked. “N-No, H-Harmony!”
“There we go,” I said with a cheeky grin as Luna giggled. She didn’t know what had transpired between us but she always liked it when her sister was flustered, no matter what the reason. As Celestia scrambled out of my arms and barked at Luna who darted away with a noisy raspberry, I sighed inwardly. I wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t bring Celestia out of her little shell, and I’m glad I broke the ice. Maybe things weren’t going to be as bad as I feared? Was I just being a silly little worry-wort? Behind me, Discord grinned, his smile as pleased as a cat with a large mouse.
No, things were going to be different, I wasn’t all words, I had to bring about change in my own way. Grinning wider, I tried to make a return to my old self.
“Behold!” I proclaimed with grandiose gestures of my gesticulating arms. “The ultimate picnic basket!”
Luna’s mouth making a perfectly circular ‘o’ almost made me laugh as I lead them into the house and showed them what was inside the picnic basket.
“Sandwiches of jam and butter, peanut butter and honey, salads of all freshly picked fruits of the season and of course, the desserts you have presented us from the castle’s finest!”
Discord and Luna clapped their hooves together and I saw Celestia smile more genuinely. I couldn’t help but get caught up in the lighter mood that I myself had created. I guess there was some science behind ‘faking it ‘till you make it’. I felt some of the darker thoughts slough away or shoved into the back of my mind as I spun a tale of mystery about our reasons for heading outside. Celestia broke out of her quietude to interject some tidbit and at every moment I relayed a question or a proposal for her to engage with.
Luna and Discord were both so wonderfully accommodating that for perhaps the first time I’ve come here, I felt truly at peace. Like I had been pretending to be happy or sad or annoyed or any other parody of emotions that I had wrapped myself up in when I was whisked away in another world. It felt good to smile and laugh and play, recognising that I wasn’t someone special or different to these three. I was simply another friend, another member of the family. Whisking up the basket, I shoved Discord gently off his stool and marched to the front door.
“Come on,” I said with a beckoning hand and face-splitting smile. “Let’s enjoy a day out!”
——————
Outside, the crickets were chirping, the brooks were babbling and the world moved in natural concerto to our intrepid steps into the ‘wilderness’. I told them of a human explorer named Indiana Jones, and we fancied ourselves brave wanderers in search of treasure while fending off imaginary monsters and pirates, thieves, wizards, and aliens. Well, it started out making perfect sense, but I couldn’t help but just go with the crazy tangents these three came up with.
“…And then the Dread Pirate Bobby Pin approaches!” Luna cried, brandishing a makeshift sword in her mouth. How she could speak around it was beyond my pay grade.
“Oh no!” I cried in despair. “Whatever shall we do, oh Captain, my Captain?”
“We must defend ourselves,” Celestia commanded with chill authority. “Equestria does not bow down to brigands. Avast!”
Discord came tumbling out of the bushes. His claws held high and menacingly. “I am the Dread Pirate Bobby Pin!” he declared, waving his claws menacingly. “Kneel before Zod!”
Maybe I shouldn’t have taught him so many pop culture references. Or did he pick it up from my comics?
“Captain!” I reported with a salute. “Our cannons have no powder, we cannot defend ourselves from range!”
Celestia glanced my way and pointed a hoof imperiously at the threat.
“Attack!”
Luna and I started forward, but Discord disappeared with a flash. I stumbled back.
“Argh! Careful Captain, this one is tricky!”
I heard a squeal as Celestia fell back with Discord tackling her from her perch on the rocks. They fell into the grass with a giggles and snorts of laughter. Luna and I looked on, with varying shades of amusement.
“Shall we join them?” I asked her.
Luna gave me a sly smile, extending a hoof and affecting a voice that sounded suspiciously like Celestia’s when she was trying to sound officious.
“Why yes, kind stallion, do guide me to the fray, I wish to partake in the festivities.” Her eyes narrowed to devious slits. “I have an idea!”
She whispered her intent to me as I felt my eyes widen. Hmm, so she wanted to play it that way, huh?
“Deal,” I said, with a smirk. Well what’s a brother to do but help his sister?
I gripped her hoof and tugged her up, hefting her to my back as she was getting a little too heavy to carry on my shoulders. “Offt,” I said. “Maybe we’ll keep these to a minimum, aren’t you getting a little too big—”
I winced at the knock of an irate hoof to my skull. Well yeah, maybe I deserved that, but I can’t help it; I’m flip with my thoughts.
“Okay,” I murmured as Discord and Celestia wrestled with each other, trying to get the best of one another in a tickling match. “We’ll surprise them from behind, you ready.”
Luna had a silly grin plastered over her face, she nodded in a way that reminded me of a bobblehead.
“Alright, three, two, one… go!”
Using my back as a pedestal-like platform, Luna leapt off my back her hooves digging painfully, but briefly, as she sailed through the air. Discord and Celestia paused momentarily to watch as Luna did an impressive flip in the air and crashed right into them.
“Ooof!”
“Ahhh!”
“Owwww!”
The three tumbled a few feet away from the impact and Luna set about targeting all the weak spots in the aftermath of the unexpected surprise attack. Celestia and Discord squirmed and giggled haplessly as questing hooves found vulnerable weak points and soon the two were breathless putty in Luna’s ministrations. I nodded wisely. I had taught her well.
“Ah, Luna, I’m impressed.” I leaned against a tree, my arms folded, but with a satisfied smile playing upon my lips. “You’ve finally gotten those two.”
Luna got to her hooves, wiping them on the ground as she left the two ‘corpses’ behind with a proud stalk, like a model down a catwalk. She looked positively giddy with the prospect of a win over her older siblings. I ruffled her mane and gave her a hug. The filly beamed with pride, her wings fluttering with the excitement of her achievement.
Luna hadn’t had many chances to best her older compatriots, and while it was almost nigh-impossible to get me without group planning, getting her hooves on Celestia and Discord together in a rare feat of great timing and brilliantly executed attacks was something she relished.
Celestia was the first to recover, still gasping and unsteady on her hooves.
“Harmony…” she wailed. “Why?”
“Luna’s my favourite now,” I simply replied.
“F-favourite?” Celestia’s look changed from shock to forlorn pleading. “T-That can’t be true.”
Wait a minute, is she taking my joke the wrong way?
Before I could say anything, Discord saved me with a growl. “No, Celestia,” he grumbled, pointing to Luna. “He’s been bribed.”
Celestia followed his claw to spot Luna at the picnic basket, fishing around inside for her ‘bribe’. Luna turned back with a grin that died quickly when she realised Celestia was no longer out for the count.
“Luna…” Celestia glared at Luna as she froze at the picnic basket, her hooves holding aloft her portion of cupcakes that were to be her dessert, which were to be mine.
Well, she had fairly traded it, so it was mine now, even though I had planned to give it back later. Luna wouldn’t like sitting alone at the picnic without dessert, no matter how satisfying retribution would have seemed right now.
The palace cooks made really good cupcakes, though, mind you. If it were anypony else, say Runner, I would have taken him up on the offer.
“Luna! You can’t just give Harmony your cupcake!”
Luna pouted. “I can so, fair trade!”
“Now, now…” I began, beginning to get a sense of deja vu.
“Luna!”
“Celestia!”
“Discord…” I mumbled.
“Harmony…” he mumbled back.
“Foals!”
We all started as Tempora quite literally fell out of the sky. She landed with an impressive thump in the middle and snorted at our surly behaviour. She looked surly herself, actually.
“Really,” she began in a disappointed tone. “I leave you all for a few hours and already you are arguing, how can this have come about?” She swept an irritated gaze about as Celestia and Luna both pouted. “You’d think that after dealing with the Court all day I’d have… Celestia, do you have something to say?”
“No, Mom.”
Tempora phrased her words more gently. “Celestia, I want to hear your side of the story, come on, I won’t get angry.”
“Mom, Luna was going to give Harmony—”
“I wasn’t! I mean I was, it’s not against the rules—”
“They teamed up! That’s not fair!”
“But she always wins!”
“And she’s always treated better!”
“Why can’t she—”
“Enough!” Tempora said sternly and they both quieted. “I mean, sorry my daughters, but I can see that we’re going to be here all day if you two bicker like that.” She turned to me. “You’re the eldest, this is out of hoof. Why didn’t you do anything to stop this?”
That was a good point, I guess I was the cause of this, but I wasn’t really ready to admit it.
“Well we came up with this idea—”
“Stop!” Tempora told me in a tone that I recognised was her ‘I know you’re just making it up’ tone. It was the same tone she used when an insufferable noble wanted to wheedle themselves a favour without quid pro quo.
“Alright,” she said. “I thought I never would have reason to say this, but Discord looks like the most reasonable pony here. What say you, draconequus?”
Discord bowed nervously. “N-Nothing here, let’s all enjoy a picnic?”
He phrased the statement more like a question with his tone. At his demeanour, Tempora probably caught on at what a fearsome expression she was making and visibly made an effort to smooth it. In fact, she smiled as what he said sunk in.
“Finally,” she muttered, “a worthwhile notion. Let’s just have a picnic.” She levitated the picnic basket over to herself. “Come on, no fighting!”
“Yes,” we all mumbled.
One should keep in mind while exploring, there are dangers in the forest. Chief among them could be an irritated mother.
We did have a great time though.