I returned the used tools to the warehouse, asking the quartermaster how much should I pay for the broken nails when I got my bits for this week. He stared at me a while, eyebrows raised and blinking. Then he asked me some things about how long I've worked at the castle and stuff. He understood soon enough that I had no clue how things worked, and told me not to worry about it and just bring him the filled form. He didn't mind when I took two spare ones in case I messed something up.
Whistling and humming to myself, I come back to the boiler room and wash my face. In hindsight, I should have showered after my successful repair, but since my coat is grey and my mane has not yet grown enough for the purple to look strange covered in dust, I leave it for later. Anyway, I'll get dirty and sweaty enough during my evening mopping, so I'll save myself having to shower twice. When my hooves stop leaving messy hoofprints everywhere, I grab the requisition form and a piece of coal I previously used to make my "Undr re-pear" sign.
The form itself is simple - name, used supplies, division, reason for borrowing, returned supplies, date, signature, superior officer's signature. What is rather more difficult is filling in the tiny slots with a thick piece of coal. I have to sharpen it a little, but it still is not the best. However, I succeed on a second try and stash the one unused form to my hiding place under the wardrobe. Nopony knows when a piece of paper could be useful.
I've done my best, and so I smile while walking upstairs from the barracks cellars. It's not really visible, as I'm carrying a plastic shopping bag containing the form in my mouth, but it is for me anyway, because ponies don't look at me much. A good thing, I look as if I crawled from a recently collapsed building. Nightmare Night is coming, perhaps I could say I'm just practicing my costume.
"Boo!" I mumble quietly to nopony in particular. Some specks of dust litter the floor. I frown a little. I'm just giving myself more to clean later. Oh well. Walking up and down through the barracks, I fail to find any room referencing "Grey Shrine" or looking like an administration office.
I guess I'll just have to ask somepony. Is there anypony not too busy?
"Looking for something?" a familiar voice portraying somepony who is never far from laughing comes out of an open door when I walk through the second floor for the third time, making sure I didn't miss anything. A red-to-orange-maned head peeks into the hall a second later.
"Yes, mem," I bow to Piercing Hit. She is a guard, which compared to me is like royalty, and she deserves respect, "I hev too faind a ponee neimd Grei Shrain and giv her a re-kvee- uhh... a form."
"Grey Shrine?" she asks after the usual brief pause of somepony piecing together my broken speech. I nod, "Her office is in the castle. Second floor. Look for a grey unicorn mare with light blue mane."
"Tank yoo."
"Mind if I ask what you need from her?"
"Ai fixd d showers on d top floor. It shud last fyoo deis- AAH!" I am grabbed by two strong earthpony legs and picked up, "Soree?" I apologize preemptively. My muzzle has already bled enough for one day.
While I am taller than the mare, she is definitely WAY stronger. Perhaps I should have noticed that before making her mad, because she is heavily toned. In my defense, I don't look at ponies much, it tends to make them yell or get upset.
"You're saying there's not gonna be twenty ponies yelling at me for taking too long in a shower anymore?"
"Meibee?" I flail a little. She notices it and lets me go. Perhaps she isn't angry? One of my droopy ears perks up.
"Wow, and you did it even before the evening rush. This means I actually have time to go out this weekend," her eyes sparkle, she grins to herself, pats my back, and jumps inside her room.
"Ouch..." I hiss and rub the spot. She's really strong.
Shrugging to myself, I walk away accompanied by her excited laughter. She gallops past me even before I get to the main entrance, wearing just some red straps here and there. She must have forgotten to put on a real dress in her hurry.
"Hev a nais eevnink..." I mumble.
She is far away before I end the sentence. Well, if she doesn't mind then who am I to bother her about it?
Torches and lights from ornate windows light my path through the dark courtyard and castle grounds. There is a queue of visitors standing around and chatting on the long cobblestone road leading from the tall gate separating the grounds and the city itself to the castle entrance. Thankfully, I don't have to wait, as there is a small service door a short distance away through which I slink inside.
I REEEEEALLY should have had a shower. The high, white hallways decorated with pillars, red carpets, and occasional vase on a windowsil make me uneasy. It is beautiful, and I have no place here. Having at least dusted my hooves of before entering, I don't leave too much mess in my wake as I walk, accompanied by stoic stares of patrolling guards, up through the castle and finally find an office with a metal plaque reading:
Sgt. Grey Shrine
23. Royal Guard division.
Recruit, training, and barracks management.
In the absence of anything smarter to do, I knock.
A middle-aged unicorn mare, grey just like me but with cyan mane, opens, giving me a curious, yet impatient, glance of a pony ready to take care of business while having a lot on her hooves. She looks me up and down.
"Greyscale, the cleaning guy, right?"
"Yes, mem."
Wow! She knows me? Why?
"What do you need?"
"Ai borrowd sumtink from d storich and dey geiv mee dis form," I pull out the filled out requisition form and present it to her.
She levitates it, and narrows her eyes.
"Is this a joke?" the paper flicks through the air.
"Its mai first taim filling sumtink laik-" I try to look as tiny as I can.
Her carefully controlled voice makes my legs tremble.
"Why did they hire somepony who can't WRITE?" she waves the paper looking as if a foal with black crayon played with it for longer than it was healthy. The soft smack of the page on my muzzle doesn't hurt... physically. I know I'm dumb, but I did the best I could. My vision grows a little hazy and I sniffle.
I decide to lighten the mood a little. She asked for a joke, didn't she? Perhaps she is simply overworked and I came at the wrong time.
"Ai knou a joke. A blaind ponee wolks into a bar and seis ouch!"
Her horn flashes.
Can't... breathe...
"Look, I don't know what you and the privates consider a prank, but I'm busy, so shove this," the form smacks me again, "up your ass and don't bother me! The new princess wants me to find all thestrals in the Guard ASAP and send them to get interviewed. I already have captains Shining Armor and Sharp Biscuit on my back and I DON'T have time for this."
The glow fades and I can breathe again.
"But Ai fixd d showers..."
"You what? WHO LET YOU TOUCH IT? We are already over budget with the barracks being overcrowded due to all the bats coming back. If you did something that will make me beg the committee for one more bit, I will shoot you out of a cannon from Canterlot city walls!"
See? She IS just overworked. She must be a nice lady underneath.
"Ai ken show yoo."
"Just ONE unnecessary bit, and I'm selling you to a griffon restaurant."
I doubt I would taste good.
"Aaaah?" everything turns white and with a thunderclap of reality making space for us, we appear inside the third floor showers of the barracks.
One after one the dials on the walls let water flow out of every nozzle. Grey Shrine looks at me.
"What was the problem?"
"Krekd paip," I point to the block of floor glued back after my makeshift repair. Under Shrine's careful scrutiny, the job I did does not look as good as I previously believed.
She stomps at the floor carefully, it barely shifts. She looks at me, then at the floor, then at me again, then at the floor. Puckering her lips, she re-reads the requisition form.
"Hmmm..." she scratches her head, "This DOES look good. Do you think it will last for one more week?"
"Ai dont nou," I shrug, "Nevr dun aneetink laik dis."
"How did you get into this anyway?" she waves at me to follow her, leaving the showers, "Come to my office, I'm not teleporting us for the second time."
"A betponee neimd Eklips hed a broken bed and Ai fixd it. Ai bought the plenks maiself and evreetink. Eet wont kost yoo a bit," she seems to be calming down, so I throw in the 'no money spent' bonus.
"Why? You just clean the place."
"Shee askd."
"How much did she pay you for the repair?"
"Nothink."
"How much do we pay you?"
"Twentee-faiv bits a week."
"Wow... that doesn't seem worth it."
Oh, damn. She thinks I'm not worth the money. Quick, quick, quick, think! Nopony else will ever give me a chance like this again.
"Ai... Ai tink Ai ken teik onlee twentee if yoo let mee sleep een d cellar."
She GLARES.
"Feefteen?" I shrink even further. It's not going well.
Suddenly, she smiles. I'll have to settle for fifteen bits a week then. I guess I can eat every other day. Diet HO!
She remains lost in thought with me in tow until we are back in her office.
"You know what?" she levitates a new form from a stack behind her which is the now familiar requisition one, "Let me fill this and you just answer my questions."
"Okey," I sit down on the chair on the opposite side of her working table.
"Name."
"Greyscale."
She pauses for a second.
"Date of borrowing."
"Toodei."
This goes on. Every answer is carefully filled in without any unnecessary chitchat. At least until I clutch my belly, groan, and accidentally hit the workdesk.
"What's wrong?"
"Notink. Just... hungree."
She examines me as I try to fight off the stomach cramps.
"You..." she asks carefully, "This isn't a side job for you as it was supposed to be, just an evening cleaning, right? This is the only thing you do."
I nod, wishing to be anywhere else but under her scanning gaze.
"Where do you live?"
"Ummm... Kantrlot?"
"I see," she puts down the filled form, "How would you feel if I took you to the guard canteen?"
"Ai hev no monee, mem. Ai spent eet for d bed."
"Celestia's stars... that was three days ago, right?" I just nod, "My treat. Let's say as a thank you for sparing me more grey hairs in my mane."
"Tank yoo, mem."
She gives me the beautifully filled form, and I follow her through the castle.
I even get THREE free sandwiches. THREE!
I knew she was a nice lady.